CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN - BURNED MILK

It was Friday morning. 2AM. Shigaraki was sitting alone at Mr. Aizawa's modest kitchen table waiting for the milk he was warming up in a pot on the stove to reach the optimal sedative temperature. He wasn't sure why he was turning to dairy to help his recent bout of insomnia, but Google had recommended it. Apparently, it cultivated relaxation and relieved anxiety, both of which Shigaraki was in desperate need of. And considering the other more obvious options like mastubation, which was at the top of the 'things to help you sleep' list, hadn't worked out for him, he supposed it couldn't hurt to try the milk.

He sighed as he looked down at his phone, flicking mindlessly through his social media and becoming increasingly anxious about the day ahead of him. The up-and-coming hero feature from Juzo News was being released in just a few hours and unsurprisingly, the posts on Instagram and the videos on Tik Tok that had been created and shared by both Takami and Dabi did not hold the same foreboding that Shigaraki felt. They were the complete opposite, excitement, inspiration, and worst of all fucking self-respecting.

Shigaraki tried to mimic those emotions, he tried so hard to adjust his expectations and his frame-of-mind to match those of Takami and Dabi, he wanted to be happy and proud of the feature, but he just couldn't stop his apprehensiveness. How would the Shimura reveal present itself to the rest of the world? What was the reaction going to be like? Would this really change his life?

Discarding his phone for a moment, he left the table to check on the progress of his milk. The liquid was bubbling away, probably much hotter than it needed to be, so he turned off the stove and filled the mug that he had set aside. He returned to the table just as he heard keys jingling at the door. The lock clicked open and then muffled whispers followed as Mr. Aizawa stepped inside the foyer. With a guest in tow. Shigaraki recognized the green haired woman. She was a teacher at one of the rival Hero Schools - the Ketsubutsu Academy. Emi Fukukado, the Smile Hero, Ms Joke.

"Shigaraki." Mr. Aizawa said, sounding startled and perhaps even a little abashed by Shigaraki's presence at the late, or rather early, hour. He obviously hadn't expected to be caught returning to his apartment with a date. "You didn't have to wait up for me."

"I didn't." Shigaraki replied, half smirking.

Mr. Aizawa leveled a coltish gaze at him and then cleared his throat. "You remember Ms. Fukukado?"

Shigaraki nodded. "I do."

"Please, call me Emi." She beamed, all smiles and pearly white teeth. "It's nice to see you again, Shigaraki! And thanks for keeping this one on his toes. Your youthful vigor is rubbing off on him."

Shigaraki snorted a laugh.

"Okay." Mr. Aizawa interjected. Shigaraki had never seen his teacher look so flustered. "Why don't you head inside. I'll be there in a minute."

"Don't be too long." She breathed, low and sultry. Her fingers danced over Mr. Aizawa's arm suggestively as she passed on her way to the bedroom. "Goodnight, Shigaraki."

"Night." Shigaraki raised a brow and sipped his milk as he watched an array of emotions play across Mr. Aizawa's face. It was mostly embarrassment mixed in with a touch of excitement, almost as if he was trying to conceal it.

"Hot date?" Shigaraki teased as Mr. Aizawa pulled out a chair adjacent to him and sat down.

"It was a date. Dinner."

"That's about to get hot?"

"Shigaraki." Mr. Aizawa reprimanded, clearly, he was not going to talk about it. "What are you drinking?" He asked, changing the topic.

"Milk. I tried warming it up, but I think I burned it a bit." He said, looking down at the off-white-coloured liquid in his mug. It had a slightly bitter taste too.

"Can't sleep?"

Shigaraki shook his head and Mr. Aizawa reached over and squeezed his forearm, knowingly.

"I'm sorry we couldn't convince Juzo News to abandon the Shimura reveal."

"I knew the appeal wasn't going to be easy, but I appreciate the effort." Shigaraki shrugged. "You tried. That's more than I could've asked for."

Mr. Aizawa half-smiled and without saying another word he got up to his feet, taking Shigaraki's mug of burned milk with him as headed into the kitchen. Shigaraki didn't follow his movements but did look up when he returned with two low-ball glasses and a bottle of Nikka Coffey Grain Whiskey.

"Nightcap." He winked and then poured Shigaraki a healthy shot of the whiskey, neat, and then one for himself. "To a good night's rest." He clinked their glasses together and then sat back down, sipping on the liquor.

The corner of Shigaraki's mouth curled up into a grin and then he tossed back the drink in one fast shot. It burned all the way down and he immediately regretted drinking it so quickly, his nose scrunched up in disdain.

"Woah." Mr. Aizawa chuckled softly before sliding the glass out from under Shigaraki's nose and away from his hands. "You, okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks. I needed that."

Mr. Aizawa nodded his head in agreement and then quickly finished off his own drink. "This was a one time only deal."

"Sure." Shigaraki breathed out. His insides felt warm, like he could feel the whiskey sitting right on top of stomach, burning a fire in the pit of his belly.

Mr. Aizawa grinned and then collected the glasses and the bottle to put away. "Well, i'm going to head to be-" He started and then stopped, coughing to clear his throat.

Shigaraki snorted when he paused suddenly mid-way through his sentence. He wasn't sure why Mr. Aizawa thought he needed to be so cautious around him. Shigaraki knew exactly where he was going and what, or rather who, he was going to be doing in his bedroom. They were both adults, it didn't need to be weird. Or maybe it did. What did he know? Their relationship was… undefined, more than just student and teacher but not intimate enough to discuss their sexual endeavors.

"Remember, we share a wall." He joked, a meek attempt to alleviate some of Mr. Aizawa's uneasiness.

"Oh God, Shigaraki." Mr. Aizawa shook his head, sighing. Shigaraki could see the telltale red flush in his cheeks. He hoped his presence didn't affect his teachers… performance. "Try and get some sleep, okay?"

"I will."

Mr. Aizawa did not move off right away, instead he hung back, staring at Shigaraki thoughtfully.

"Shigaraki."

"Mm?"

"Tomorrow, it's going to be okay, I'll be right there with you."

Shigaraki nodded. "I know."

Mr. Aizawa grinned faintly and then brushed his hand reassuringly over the top of Shigaraki's head. "You're a lot stronger than you think you are. You'll get through this."

Shigaraki wasn't so sure about that, but he was thankful for his teacher's faith in him, and his support. "We'll see." He kind of joked.

"You will." Mr. Aizawa affirmed. "Now, get some rest. We'll talk in the morning."

Shigaraki nodded again. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Shigaraki." Mr. Aizawa patted his shoulder and then made a beeline to his bedroom. Shigaraki could hear him apologize for the delay to Emi before the door was shut, leaving Shigaraki alone in the kitchen again.

When Shigaraki unlocked his phone, hopefully for the last time that night, he found a text from Dabi. It was nearing 3AM, and Shigaraki wondered if his boyfriend was also having trouble falling asleep. Likely, for very different reasons but it was almost comforting knowing that he was not the only one awake and that someone was thinking about him.

Almost.

D: Can I see you before school tomorrow? Breakfast date?

It was awfully presumptuous of Dabi to assume Shigaraki would see the text in time, he was supposed to be sleeping after all. They both were. But then again if anyone was privy to Shigaraki's unconventional sleeping habits it was Dabi.

Swiping his thumb across the screen, Shigaraki opened the message and started tapping out a reply.

S: Don't think I'll have time. Mr. Aizawa is driving me.

Shigaraki locked his phone. It was late. He didn't expect Dabi to see the message until the morning but just seconds later, his phone buzzed with an incoming text.

D: You are still awake. Can I call?

Shigaraki sighed and then chewed on his lower lip. Did he want to talk to Dabi? Yes. No. He was conflicted. He didn't think he was actually going to be able to get any sleep but talking to Dabi was definitely not going to help the situation, it would only reduce the already small chance he had of at least dozing a little bit. Before he could formulate a response though, his phone started to ring. He was glad it was silent, so it didn't disturb Mr. Aizawa and his date.

"Hi." He answered on the way to his temporary bedroom. He shut and locked the door behind him.

"Hey, baby." Dabi replied. Shigaraki could hear the smile in his voice. "I thought you might still be up."

"Dabi, it's late." Shigaraki sank down onto his bed and pushed his fingers back through his hair. He was tired, exhausted, and wanted to crawl under the covers and, at the very least, rest his eyes. "What do you want?"

"I was just thinking about you." He spoke. Shigaraki heard movement on the other end of the line, like Dabi was walking around.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting into bed."

Shigaraki did not respond. He knew what Dabi was like and an innocent comment from Shigaraki could turn wayward very quickly.

"Anyway, you can't make it for breakfast tomorrow? You can pick the place. Wherever is closest to you."

"I don't think so."

"Okay. Dinner then? Whatever you want."

Shigaraki sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. "I'm still mad at you, you know."

"I know. I'm trying to do better."

"Whe-" A loud bang against the wall he was glaring at almost spooked the phone right out of Shigaraki's hand. "Shit."

The noise was followed by another thump, and then a series of smaller, faster ones that were accompanied by the sound of powerful sensual moans. Shigaraki blanched but then a rush of heat raced to his face as realization set in. Mr. Aizawa and… Emi were fucking! Loudly. And unsurprisingly. Shigaraki knew what their plans had been as soon as they had returned to the apartment together so it shouldn't have come off as a complete shock. Regardless, the sound was unsettling. The headboard of the bed must have been hitting the wall with their… motions. And while he was glad his jokes had not impaired his teacher's… abilities, he did not want to hear this. No, just no.

"Tomura? You, okay? What is that sound?"

"Nothing. I'm okay."

"Are you watching porn?"

Shigaraki scowled. "No."

A low chuckle filtered through the phone. "It's cool if yo-"

"Dabi, I need to sleep." Shigaraki interjected, not interested in entertaining his boyfriend's drollery.

"Me too." There was a brief pause before Dabi spoke again. "So, about dinner."

"I don't know, Dabi. Maybe."

"Maybe?"

Shigaraki heard Dabi sigh, he sounded crushed at Shigaraki's rejection.

"You do remember that our interview and photos are being released in the morning, right?"

"Of course, I do."

"Then can you please try to understand why I probably won't be able to go on a date with you?"

There was another moment of silence, longer than the last. Shigaraki cringed. He was being unnecessarily direct, and maybe he sounded annoyed - which he was, to a point - but he was already on edge, anxious. He hadn't been sleeping properly and Dabi's ignorance was frustrating him. Dabi was only thinking of himself and what he wanted, he wasn't considering the significance or the consequences that came with the release of what was supposed to be an entertainment piece turned big fucking news. News that had made Shigaraki rethink his whole God damn existence.

"Dabi? Are you still there?"

"Yeah." Another pause of silence. "You know I would never do anything to put you in a… dangerous situation, right?"

"I'm not worried about my safety, Dabi."

"So, let me take you on a date. I want to make it up to you. I miss you."

"Look, can we just-" Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose, "Talk about this tomorrow?"

"Okay." Dabi sighed again. "Sure."

Shigaraki nodded. "Okay."

"I'll see you in a few hours I guess." Dabi laughed softly over the phone, but Shigaraki could tell it was forced. He was not happy at all, that was very clear.

"Unfortunately. I will be there." Shigaraki scoffed, which turned into a yawn, an affirmation of the appalling hour they were both still awake at before a school day.

"You don't want to see me?"

"No, I mean." Shigaraki laid back on the bed, his eyes fluttering closed. "The school part."

"Oh. Yeah. We could skip…" Dabi said, his words trailing off, leaving the suggestion open-ended.

"Go to sleep." Shigaraki returned, shutting that idea right down. There was no way Mr. Aizawa would let him skip. It was an important day.

"Okay." Dabi said, again sounding disappointed.

"Goodnight, Dabi."

"Night." Dabi said before added a softer, "I love you."

Shigaraki's heart dropped right into his stomach. It had been so long since he had heard those three little words from his boyfriend and probably even longer since he had said them in return. He still loved Dabi, that hadn't changed, but did he want to express that emotion vocally? No. All Shigaraki had to do was think about Dabi lip-locked with Rumi - which he thought about almost every time he spoke or saw Dabi or Rumi - to remind him that he was still very resentful. He was not ready to forgive Dabi and quite frankly, Dabi had not given him reason to forgive him either. It was almost like Dabi was just pretending it never happened and was trying to move on. Shigaraki could not let it go so easily, he just couldn't.

"Bye, Dabi."

Shigaraki ended the call. The sound of Dabi's deep, labored breaths rang in his ears. Had he been too… cruel?