Disclaimer: I own nothing but Esme, Mr. Dwalin and all his friends are belong to Tolkien.
Author's note: Thank you all so much for your follows, faves and reviews I very much appreciate all of them. Hope you enjoy the new chapter.
The Past
Esme's POV
"Esmeralda?"
The dwarf with the blue eyes stepped closer to her, concern etched in his features.
"What's happened to her? Is she ok?"
Esme could hear the alarm in his voice and why wouldn't he be worried really? She was sure she must look a complete mess. She was still wearing the dirty clothes she had been pulled from the river in last night, they were crumpled from sleeping on the ground. Her hair most certainly needed to be brushed, not to mention the fact that her eyes were slightly swollen from crying and tears still trailed down her cheeks.
"Esmeralda? Are you well?"
While she wanted to answer his question it seemed that her brain was having difficulty making her mouth work. She could hear the hobbit say something about panic attacks and that she would be alright if they stopped crowding her but her head was spinning too much to really pay attention to the conversation. The newcomer ignored the hobbit and took another step in her direction; he leaned forward and brushed a stray hair away from her face. It was then that her brain finally caught up, sort of.
"My name; you knew my name!"
It was more of a statement than a question; she didn't seem to be able to get much more to come out of her mouth right now. The panic still hadn't fully subsided and now she was completely confused too. Who was this dwarf? How did he know her? Was any of this even real? Maybe she'd wake up soon and all of this would just be a strange dream. It all felt so real though, too real to be a dream. She started to shake again, her teacup rattling on the saucer that Mr. Baggins had given her. The dwarf sat down on the chair beside her now and took the cup from her.
"Yes, I remember you, though I wouldn't expect you to remember me. You were very young when last we saw each other. My name is Thorin."
He smiled at her then but it quickly turned to a frown.
"Esmeralda, where is your mother?"
Well that certainly snapped her out of her panic, she lifted her head quickly and her eyes locked with his.
"My mother? How do you know my mother?"
Thorin's eyes took on a melancholy look.
"We were friends. It was a long time ago. I had not expected to see you here without her. Where is she?"
Esme had so many questions she really wasn't sure where to start. How could this dwarf know her or her mother when they weren't from this world? Did it have something to do with that book her mother had kept hidden from her? What had really happened that day at the lake? She had blocked it all out for so long, years of therapy trying to forget it all. For the first time in years Esme let herself remember that day now. She'd made her way down to sit by the water and look through the book, trying to pronounce the strange words of the magic spell it contained, imagining herself as some sort of witch that could conjure up everything she had ever wished for. It was just a game or so she thought until her mother found her. She was so angry, snatching the book from Esme's hands she'd made her promise to never again look at it and never to read from it. That was when it happened. There was a noise on the lake, and the water started to swirl, a bright light shining out from the depths of the water. Her mother's anger instantly turned to fear as she pushed her towards their house.
"Run Esme! RUN! I'll be right behind you."
Esme ran as fast as she could back towards the house but when she reached the front porch and looked back the lake was calm once again but the book and her mother were gone. She was only a child but she was so sure of what she saw, until everyone told her otherwise. The police, the therapists, all of them said the same thing. She was in shock, PTSD had made her imagine something that simply hadn't happened but she knew now that it had. For the first time since that day on the lake Esme allowed herself to hope, maybe her mother hadn't died that day. She may have somehow been sucked into this strange world just like Esme had been and she may well still be here.
"They told me she was dead. She drowned, they said, but they never found her. I think, well, I think she may have been sucked into this world, just like I was."
Thorin continued to frown for a moment then looking around he caught the eye of their reluctant host.
"Mr. Baggins, perhaps there is somewhere I may speak with Esmeralda privately?"
Mr. Baggins stepped forward immediately.
"Of course, please follow me."
He led them to a sitting room a little way along the corridor away from the rest of the dwarfs, excused himself and closed the door as he left.
Esmeralda sank into the nearest armchair, it was soft and warm from the open fire that was blazing in the room. She suddenly felt very tired, this was all so overwhelming. Thorin sat in the chair beside hers for a moment without speaking. She was expecting him to be like all the others, that he would tell her she had imagined it all, that her mother was dead and she was childish to believe otherwise. Just as she was about to brush off her words as she usually did and apologise for talking nonsense he began to speak.
"She found a way back then. I have often wondered if she was successful in returning to her world. She came to me late one night trying to find a way back; she was searching for a wizard. I asked her to stay in Ered Luin, that I would look after her and you, but she had insisted on returning. I hadn't thought it possible and told her as much but she said she had to try. She insisted it was the only place that you would be safe."
Esme couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"Wait you mean my mother has been here before? I've been here before?"
Thorin smiled again then.
"Yes, I don't know how your mother arrived in this world, I'm not sure she really knew herself, but she lived in Ered Luin for a time. That's where I met her. We became close and were inseparable for a time but then she met a dwarf from the Iron Hills. They married and she moved there with him. We lost touch then and I didn't speak to her again until she came looking for me for help getting home. As for you Esmeralda of course you have been here before. You were born here. You're the reason your mother wanted to get back to her own world, she was terrified when she returned to Ered Luin, though she never told me why. She left to look for a wizard, swearing me to secrecy before she left. Your father came looking for you both not long afterwards. I kept my promise to your mother and didn't mention that she'd visited me, I didn't know why she was running away from him but I knew she must have had a reason. We joined him as he searched for you both but as the months passed and we heard nothing of either of you I had feared the worst, thinking you had been waylaid by orcs on the road. I blamed myself for not accompanying you both. I should have left with her. I am glad to see that you are well in any case. I can tell you too if she ended up back in this world she would have tried to find her way back to you again, that much I know with certainty. She loved you more than life itself Esmeralda."
If she had been surprised before, Thorin's revelations completely floored her. She was from this world, had been born here. She also had a father she never knew about. She was part dwarf! Why would her mother keep all of this from her? Why had she taken her away from this world? She had so many questions she wanted, no needed, the answers to.
"You have no idea why she ran away with me?"
Thorin shook his head.
"No, I'm sorry. The only people who may be able to answer that question are your mother and father. I do not know where your mother is, if she returned to this world then she did not seek me out. I can't help you to get back to your mother's world either I'm afraid. Your father however still resides in the Iron Hills. We are going on a quest, my company and I, we set off tomorrow morning to return to our homeland. It will take us close to the Iron Hills. We could arrange for some of Dain's men to meet you and accompany you the rest of the way when we get close to Erebor. You could speak with your father and perhaps he will have the answers you seek. It will be a tough road and very dangerous but we will protect you as best we can. You are welcome to travel with us if it is your wish. If not I can arrange for you to be taken to Ered Luin, my people will look after you well there until I return. The choice is yours."
Esme had much to think about. She didn't know this dwarf yet he was the only connection she had to her mother in this world. The closest connection she'd had in a very long time and now that she had it she didn't want to let it go. Did she really want to meet a father she had never known about? A father that her mother had taken her away from in the dead of night for some reason that was yet unknown to her. Honestly she thought she probably didn't, but what if her mother was there? If she had returned here would she have sought out her father again? She married him, had a child with him, surely she must have loved him once. If there was even the slightest chance that she was there then Esme felt she needed to find out for sure. Thorin's words ran round and round in her head though. "If she ended up back in this world she would have tried to find her way back to you again." The wizard! She would have tried to find the wizard. If Esme could just find him then she might find her mother and they could both return to their world and forget all about this. A niggling voice in the back of her mind told her that this was her world, she had never belonged in her old one, but she steadfastly ignored it.
"You said she was looking for a wizard when she came to you, what wizard? Do you know where to find him? Will you pass it on your quest?"
Thorin sighed.
"If I knew that Esmeralda, I would have sought him out a long time ago. Gandalf may know, it may well have been him but getting a straight answer out of a wizard is never easy. You could ask him but right now we must get back to the reason we are here, our quest. We have much to discuss and the hour grows late. I think you could use some sleep. I'll ask Mr. Baggins to show you to a room and perhaps you can speak with Gandalf in the morning. It will also give you time to think about my offer. You can inform me in the morning of your decision."
Now that he mentioned it Esme suddenly felt bone tired. The thoughts of a warm comfortable bed seemed wonderful right now, regardless of whether or not they had been expected guests. The dwarfs didn't seem like they were going to leave their host's home any time soon so she may as well take the opportunity to have a comfortable sleep while it was offered to her. She had a lot to think about but she may as well think about it in a soft, warm bed.
"Thank you, for all your help. I will think about it and yes I could definitely use some sleep."
Thorin rose from his chair and beckoned their host.
"Would you be so kind as to show Esmeralda to a bedroom?"
The hobbit nodded immediately.
"Of course, please Miss, follow me."
Thanking Thorin again Esme said goodnight to the dwarves and followed Mr. Baggins down the corridor.
Dwalin's POV
Dwalin had fully expected to be told off by Thorin as soon as he laid eyes on Esme. While he was his oldest friend he knew that Thorin didn't trust easily and was sure that he would admonish him for bringing a strange lass along with him to their meeting. He had been preparing for it and fully expected to have to defend his actions; after all it wasn't as if he could just leave a lass out in the wilds alone. What Dwalin hadn't been expecting was for Thorin to call Esme by name. A thousand thoughts ran through his head in an instant. How did Thorin know her? A fierce jealousy bubbled up inside of him, maybe they had a history. Thorin had been with a few lasses over the years, could she have been one of them? But no, the lass had said she wasn't from around here. She had seemed so shocked that he was a dwarf claiming never to have known a dwarf before. Could she have fooled him? Perhaps it was all just an act and he had fallen for it. He felt his jealousy slowly ebb to embarrassment then to anger but just then she spoke, the shock that Thorin had known her name evident in her voice. Dwalin let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding though he would forever deny that the idea of Esme belonging to someone else had almost made him explode. One look at the smirk on Balin's face however, told him his brother had guessed his exact thoughts.
Esme had left then to speak privately with Thorin and he forced himself to stay where he was instead of eavesdropping as he secretly wished to.
"You need to tell her brother."
Dwalin sighed and turned to face Balin.
"There's nothing to tell."
His older brother rolled his eyes at that and Dwalin couldn't blame him really. All Balin had ever wanted was for Dwalin to be happy. He'd lost count of the amount of times he'd try to set him up with dwarrowdams back in Ered Luin, always insisting it would be good for him to have someone to look after him.
"You and I both know that there's a lot to tell brother and perhaps it would be best to make your intentions clear before she catches someone else's eye."
The thought that one of the other dwarves would take a fancy to Esme had crossed Dwalin's mind more than once that evening but he wasn't about to admit that to Balin.
"If someone does then so be it. It makes no difference to me."
Balin let out an exasperated sigh.
"Must you always be so darn stubborn? You don't know what's good for you! Though I don't know why I'm surprised. You were always a stubborn one, even as a child."
Dwalin had heard about enough, in fact he'd heard similar lectures from the time he was knee high on his older brother.
"Damn it Balin I don't want to state my intentions because I don't have any! That lass will be out of here tomorrow and frankly I'll be glad to see the back of her. Stop meddling in affairs that have nothing to do with you."
At that he turned his back on his brother and stomped into the dining room choosing to pretend he didn't hear Balin muttering about him acting like a block-headed idiot.
It was only a short time later that Thorin and Esme emerged from the room. She looked drawn and exhausted and the overwhelming urge to take her in his arms hit Dwalin again. Dwalin once again shoved the thought to one side. Thorin called for the burglar to find a suitable room for Esme to stay in and wishing them good night she followed the hobbit down the corridor to her sleeping quarters. Her eyes had sought out Dwalin before she left and she had smiled tiredly at him. Try as he may he couldn't deny that it warmed his heart when she did so. The other dwarves around him took her leaving as a queue to start eating and drinking, throwing food from one end of the table to the other and laughing merrily as they did so. Fili walked across the table handing out ale to everyone. Dwalin was ready to get down to business. He was anxious to know if Dain had agreed to join them. Thorin however walked past the dining room and into the next room. Dwalin watched Balin frown and follow him before deciding to do likewise. Excusing himself from the table he made his way towards the adjacent room and leaned against the rounded archway. Thorin was standing staring at the fire and it was clear to see that something was bothering him.
"What is it laddie?" Balin asked stepping closer to their leader. "Is it the lass? I'll admit we were all surprised to see that you knew her."
Thorin sighed and it seemed as though he held the weight of the whole world on his shoulders.
"I don't, not really. I only met her briefly once, a long time ago but she hasn't changed much. Her mother I knew well. She lived in Ered Luin for a time. You and Dwalin were away in the Iron Hills when she arrived here if I recall correctly. She looks so much like her, they have the same eyes. I haven't seen her in a very long time but I'll never forget her eyes."
Thorin said the last sentence with such sadness that neither Balin nor Dwalin were left with any doubt as to the nature of his relationship with Esme's mother.
"You loved her."
It was a statement rather than a question but Thorin answered Dwalin nonetheless.
"Yes, I did, very much. We were happy, or so I thought. I would have given up everything for her. She meant the world to me and I was sure she felt the same. Then one day she told me she had met someone, a dwarf from the Iron Hills, his name was Borak. I thought she was the love of my life but to her I was just a friend. Suddenly all the time she had been spending with me she started to spend with him. He made her smile more than I had ever seen her do since she arrived here. My heart broke the day she told me she loved him, that she was marrying him and leaving for the Iron Hills."
Thorin's voice caught on the last sentence and his eyes filled with hurt and sadness a lone tear slipping down his cheek. Dwalin had never seen him like this; Thorin was the strongest person he knew. Thorin Oakenshield was anything but weak, he did not trust easily or hurt easily and he most certainly did not cry. To see him so clearly heartbroken shook Dwalin to the core. It also hardened his resolve. If this is what love did to you then he wanted no part of it. This lass would hurt him just as her mother had hurt Thorin. She was trouble and the sooner she left for her own world the better it would be for all of them.