A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I updated, my laptop decided to die on me and I had to rewrite the next few chapters from notes which has been very frustrating but I'm finally back up and running so updates should be more regular now. Thanks to my beta DreamingGalaxies as always for helping me with this fic. Hope you enjoy the chapter!
Leaving Beorn's
Dwalin's POV
Beorn's kitchen was bustling by the time Esme and Jenna re-joined them. The company was busy preparing for their departure later that morning. Bombur and Bofur were sorting through the packages of food that the skin-changer had given them for their journey through Mirkwood. There were bags of nuts and dried fruits, and pots of honey. There were also plenty of twice-baked cakes that he had told them would keep good for a long time. They would certainly be needed in the forest, Dwalin was sure. Even in the best of times, Mirkwood had never been an easy journey and these were not the best of times.
"We're going to have to leave some of this behind," Bombur said forlornly. "We just haven't enough room in the packs and none of us will be able to carry more than one pack."
"We can carry some too."
Dwalin turned from where he had been inspecting the bows that Beorn had given them on hearing Esme's statement.
"You mean to come with us?" he frowned.
Esme bit her lower lip nervously as she looked at him. "Erm yes, we were thinking we'd come along after all. If that's ok?"
Dwalin sighed. His hope of Esme convincing Jenna to remain safely here with her was dashed. He had no doubt Esme would follow Jenna. He hoped the near-death experiences in the goblin caves would have been enough to persuade them to stay with Beorn. This was Jenna's fault. Esme would've stayed here, where it was safe, had Jenna not been here. His anger rose as he glared at Jenna.
"It isn't safe!" he snapped, knowing before he started that he was fighting a losing battle.
"Need I remind you that it wasn't safe when we left Rivendell either! You didn't seem to have a problem with it then and we've managed to get this far!" Jenna said, defiantly.
"BARELY! Need I remind YOU that you almost died!?" Dwalin snapped.
"WE almost died! All of us! Not just me! I am aware of what happened in those tunnels but as you can see, I am perfectly fine! I am well capable of continuing, and I WON'T be told that I can't!" The lass snapped back.
"All you are capable of is causing trouble!" he all but growled at her.
Esme stepped closer to him then and caught his hand. "Dwalin, please stop," she whispered.
"No, I won't stop! You are my wife, and I will not have you put in danger needlessly! There is absolutely no reason for the two of you to follow us into that forest." Turning towards Jenna again Dwalin frowned. "I don't know what it is that you are trying to prove but if you think that coming with us will make Tho…"
"ENOUGH!" Thorin, who had entered the room without Dwalin noticing, bellowed from where he stood at the kitchen doorway. "Kili, Fili! Beorn has agreed to lend us some ponies, go see that they are ready. Dwalin, see to the weapons! The rest of you make sure you are packed and ready to leave in 10 minutes! Esmeralda, I wish to speak with you privately."
Thorin turned to face Jenna. Dwalin watched them as he made his way to the door. He was sure Thorin would tell Jenna she must remain here. After all, it was the safest option.
"A woman's decisions are her own to make. You are welcome to continue with us if you wish." Thorin said with a small smile.
Dwalin stood dumbfounded as Thorin walked away then, Esmeralda throwing her husband an apologetic look before she followed him back down the corridor.
"Well, I guess that settles that then," Jenna quipped smugly. He was beginning to see why Thorin was so easily irritated by her.
Dwalin would have been lying if he said he didn't enjoy the fact that the lass jumped when he growled at her before turning to finish inspecting the bows.
Esme's POV
Esme followed Thorin as he made his way around the side of the house and past the small garden where Dwalin had placed the marriage braid in her hair the day before. At the back of the house, there was a large pigeon coop, and this is where Thorin stopped.
"What are we doing out here?" she inquired.
"I wanted your permission to send a message," he mumbled.
"A message? To whom?"
Thorin smiled at her. "To your father. It is time that I did what I should have done many years ago. Borak deserves to know that his daughter lives. I've written him a note explaining that I have found you and I am returning you to him. I've asked him to meet us in Laketown so that he can accompany you and Jenna to the Iron Hills. I will rest easier knowing that you are both safe in Dain's halls. I only hope that the message reaches him in time. I do not relish the thoughts of leaving you both in Laketown unaccompanied, but we may not be able to remain there long. The year pushes on and we must get to the mountain before Durin's day, or this quest will all have been for nothing."
Esme frowned. "What if I don't want to go to the Iron Hills? What if I want to stay with Dwalin?"
Thorin raised an eyebrow as he answered her. "You must understand Esmeralda, I will allow you both to continue with us to Laketown only. I will not permit you to go any further. If you choose not to go with your father, then you must remain in Laketown alone. The choice is yours, but I would encourage you to go with Borak. It is the safer option."
Esme felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. "I don't even know my father Thorin! I don't know anything about him, he's a stranger to me!"
"Not by HIS choice." Thorin stepped closer to her and wiped away a tear that had spilled down her cheek. "He searched all Middle Earth for you Esmeralda, he loves you more than words could wield the matter. Give him a chance to be the father he should have been."
"But my mother took me away from him! There must have been a reason. She wouldn't just do that for nothing!" Thorin smiled sadly and she knew instantly that he didn't agree with her. "You think she was capable of doing it out of spite, don't you?"
"I'm sure she had her reasons and perhaps they seemed just to her at the time. Only Borak can give you the answer as to why she did what she did. I promise you though that I would not return you to him if I thought for even a second that he would cause you harm. He has spent the last 127 years grieving for a daughter he barely had the chance to get to know. Do not judge him on your mother's actions. At least meet with him first."
Esme nodded sadly. The more she saw her mother through other people's eyes the more unsure she was of whether she ever really knew her. "Ok, I'll meet him."
Smiling, Thorin gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before he turned and strapped the small letter to the leg of a carrier pigeon and released it quickly. They watched as it flew up and over the hedge lining Beorn's lands and disappeared.
"Thorin?"
He looked back at her waiting for her to continue. "What age are you?"
He began to walk slowly back towards the house, and she fell into step beside him. "I am 195."
"Really? But you don't even look old!"
Thorin laughed at her surprise. "I have a few decades left in me yet," he smiled.
"What age is Dwalin?" She questioned, suddenly curious about the ages of all the company.
"Well that seems like something a wife should know," Thorin laughed. "Dwalin is 169."
"What age can dwarves live to then?" she asked.
"At least 250 if we die from old age, though some have been known to live to 300," Thorin replied.
Esme stopped dead in her tracks. "250!? That's insane! You mean I could live another 100 years!?"
Thorin eyed her quizzically. "Yes, easily. Why would you think otherwise?"
"Well in my old world that would be unheard of. People there only live to be about 80." Thorin suddenly paled considerably. "Thorin? Are you alright? Are you not feeling well? I'll go and get Oin."
Esme was just making for the front door to go fetch the healer when Thorin shook his head. "No, no I'm quite alright, thank you, Esmeralda. You go on inside. I just need a minute."
Esme frowned. She didn't want to leave him out here if he was feeling unwell. "Are you sure? You look awfully pale."
Thorin forced a smile. "I assure you I'm fine Esmeralda. Please check that everyone is ready to depart, and I'll meet you all at the stables in a few minutes. Have Dwalin bring my pack."
With that Thorin turned away from her and walked off towards the stables leaving her alone on the front steps.
Thorin's POV
Thorin made his way to the stables to ensure that his wayward nephews were in fact getting the ponies ready as he had requested. As he walked, he found himself wondering what age Jenna was. 80 years was such a short amount of time to live, and she had already clearly reached adulthood. Did she even have long left? His heart started beating faster at the thought of it and he swallowed down the panic that was beginning to rise inside of him. What did it matter? The voice inside him laughed at his denial. He knew exactly why it mattered, it told him. The quest had to come first though; his people would always come first. There would be time after he had reclaimed his kingdom to… to do what exactly? The voice asked. She was Nori's so none of it mattered anyway. Her age and everything else was for Nori to worry about, not him. Turning the corner towards the stables Thorin saw Beorn speaking with Gandalf and his nephews. The ponies stood ready beside them.
"Thorin, there you are!" said Gandalf. "Beorn was just giving us some advice about our journey through Mirkwood. He has been abroad the last few nights and thankfully had the foresight to investigate any would-be dangers on our road ahead. It seems the road we wished to take is now being used by goblins and far more dangerous than we had originally thought!"
Beorn nodded in agreement. "They are making for Dol Guldur, the Necromancer draws all evil things there these days."
Gandalf raised an eyebrow at this but said nothing. Thorin sighed, with the way this quest had gone so far, he should really have anticipated something like this. "We must travel through Mirkwood regardless, that is where our path lies."
Beorn turned to face him. "There is a lesser-used road. The elves have taken to using it rather than the main road. It is safer, though no roads in these parts are in fact fully safe. You must not under any circumstances leave the path, if you do then you may never find it again. It is a four-day journey from here. I have explained to Gandalf where it is. There is plenty of water to be found between here and Mirkwood, but you must not drink from any stream once you pass under the eaves of that wood. I do not think you will meet goblins between here and the forest but there are no guarantees in this part of the world. Ride swiftly."
Thorin frowned, he did not like the thoughts of using a road he didn't know but a road free of goblins certainly sounded like a better option. In the end, they had no choice but to take the advice of their host.
"Thank you. For your help and your hospitality. We will be forever in your debt," he bowed to the skin-changer as the rest of the company joined them at the stables. "I shall heed your warning and use this elven road."
"It would be wise to do so," Beorn replied smiling. "I will remind you that I give my ponies to you to ride to the edge of the forest only. You must send them back to me before you enter that place."
Thorin agreed to do so and mounted his pony. As they rode away from Beorn's house, they heard him call after them. "Remember, do NOT leave the path!"
Thorin spent much of the first day on the road worrying about this new path and whether it would be safe or even passable when they got there. Beorn had said that goblins didn't use it, whether they didn't know it or use it because of the elven presence it was hard to know. There were many other things to fear in these parts of the world aside from goblins however and he was sure that even the safest roads in these parts were going to be difficult to pass.
"Do you ever stop worrying?"
Thorin looked to his side to find that Jenna had taken to riding beside him. Up until now, she had been riding beside Nori at the back of the group.
"Who said I'm worrying?" he grunted.
"The almost permanent frown on your face. I thought this road we are taking is safe?"
Thorin sighed. "That depends on what you mean by safe. The elves of Mirkwood aren't like the elves of Rivendell. They're not friendly and are less wise than Elrond's people. They may not take kindly to a group of dwarves using their road."
His grip on the reins tightened as he thought of the potential conflict awaiting them. His mind then wandered to another concern. He glanced at Jenna, his eyes assessing her before asking, "May I ask you a question?"
Jenna smiled and nodded at him to continue.
"What age are you?" He wasn't entirely sure why he was asking. He knew it had nothing to do with him, but he couldn't get what Esmeralda had said out of his head. Jenna startled slightly at his question, and he thought for a moment that she wouldn't answer him but she did.
"I'm almost 30. My birthday is in four days actually. Why do you ask?"
"Just something Esmeralda said about differences in how our people age compared to yours," he said with a shrug.
"You're doing it again." Thorin looked at her confused.
"Worrying," she elaborated.
"I'm not worrying. I'm just thinking," he snapped.
Jenna raised her hands in surrender. After a minute or so of silence, she spoke again. "Why did you allow me to come with you again?" Thorin sighed, he kept asking himself the same question and he still didn't understand it. He should have left her behind in Beorn's, in fact, he should have left her behind in Rivendell, yet he couldn't seem to do it. He only realised he hadn't answered her when she continued speaking. "Just I didn't think you'd want me here; I mean you said…"
"I don't always mean what I say," he admitted. "You caught me at a bad time. I'm sorry."
Jenna smiled at him. "It's ok. I'm glad you let me come. Thank you."
Suddenly she leaned across and took his hand giving it a quick squeeze. Thorin could feel his cheeks heating up at the sudden contact. He was also very aware that Nori would have seen it from where he was riding behind with Dori. He turned away from her quickly and fixed his gaze ahead, trying his best to ignore her presence. As soon as they came to a convenient camping space he called out to the rest of the company.
"We'll camp here for the night!"
Jenna's POV
With all her insistence on following the company, Jenna was quite sorry to leave Beorn's halls. She had grown fond of their host and his menagerie of animals in the time they had spent there. As they said goodbye she wondered briefly if she was in fact making a mistake by following them. Dwalin's words came flooding back to her unbidden. I don't know what it is that you are trying to prove… She wasn't trying to prove anything, was she?
"Are you alright?" Nori inquired.
"I'm fine. Just thinking about what Dwalin said earlier," she sighed.
"Don't be minding that blockhead! He had no right to speak to you like that!" Nori grouched.
"It's ok, he was just worried about Ez. I get it. Thanks though, it's nice to know you have my back at least. You're a great friend," she reached over and gave his shoulder a quick squeeze.
A strange look came over Nori's face momentarily, but he smiled at her then. "I'll always have your back, kid. No matter what."
Jenna smiled back at him, and they fell into easy conversation. The rest of the day was spent listening to Nori's tales of his escapades back in Ered Luin. She laughed heartily as Dori began tutting loudly from just ahead of them, clearly not impressed with his brother's former antics. Eventually, the two of them started bickering about what was right and wrong to say around a lady and it wasn't long before other members of the company joined in the conversation. It ended with Kili loudly insisting that it really didn't matter as Jenna was as far from being a lady as they were themselves. She had laughed even louder at that much to Dori's surprise as he seemed to think she would be offended by it. It suddenly occurred to her that this was why she had come with them. She didn't want to be separated from them. It was the first time in her life that she had felt as if she was part of a family, and she wasn't going to give that up without a fight.
Later in the evening, she spurred her horse on to catch up with Thorin where he was riding at the front of the company. She wanted to thank him for allowing her to come along, even if she didn't understand why he had done so. When she caught up with him, he didn't acknowledge her. He was clearly deep in thought as he always seemed to be. She wondered if he was ever able to truly relax or was being constantly worried all a part of being a king?
"Do you ever stop worrying?" she asked.
He looked momentarily startled by her question, clearly, he hadn't been aware of her presence until she had spoken. He looked back towards where Nori and Dori were still arguing and frowned, probably wondering when she had left them and joined him.
"Who said I'm worrying?"
She shrugged in response to his question. Did he really think that he hid his worries well enough that nobody would notice? "The almost permanent frown on your face. I thought this road we are taking is safe?"
Thorin sighed. "That depends on what you mean by safe. The elves of Mirkwood aren't like the elves of Rivendell. They're not friendly and are less wise than Elrond's people. They may not take kindly to a group of dwarves using their road."
Thorin began frowning again and Jenna was beginning to think their conversation was over when suddenly he asked, "May I ask you a question?"
Jenna nodded. It was nice to be speaking to him again without arguing.
"What age are you?"
She hadn't been expecting that question. What had her age got to do with anything? Was he already regretting his decision to allow her to come with them? Was he trying to find another reason to get rid of her now? Maybe he thought she was younger than she was, back in her old world she had still been asked for ID on a regular basis.
"I'm almost 30. My birthday is in four days actually. Why do you ask?"
"Just something Esmeralda said about differences in how our people age compared to yours." Thorin shrugged. His forehead creased into a deepening frown once again. Was he now worried about her? Did he think she was too young? She wasn't sure what age Thorin was, he looked young enough but the grey streaks in his hair told her he was older than she had thought at first.
"You're doing it again." He looked up at her, clearly confused.
"Worrying."
"I'm not worrying. I'm just thinking," he snapped.
Jenna raised her hands, the last thing she wanted was to argue with him again. She wasn't even sure why he had suddenly allowed her to come when her very presence seemed to have been enough to irritate him that very morning.
"Why did you allow me to come with you again?" The Dwarf King sighed but he didn't answer her. She wondered if she was still irritating him. "Just I didn't think you'd want me here; I mean you said…"
"I don't always mean what I say," he admitted. "You caught me at a bad time. I'm sorry."
Thorin's admission caught her off guard, but she smiled at him anyway. "It's ok. I'm glad you let me come. Thank you."
Leaning across she took Thorin's hand in hers as she had back in Beorn's healing house and gave it a gentle squeeze. An odd look passed over his face momentarily before he nodded and went back to staring ahead of them and ignoring her. Jenna frowned; Nori had looked at her in a similar fashion when she had squeezed his shoulder earlier. Perhaps physical contact was frowned upon in dwarven culture. She made a mental note to ask Ori about it as soon as she got the chance. The last thing she wanted to do was upset someone unintentionally.
"We'll camp here for the night!" Thorin shouted suddenly, startling her out of her thoughts.
When everyone had settled and they were waiting for Bombur to finish cooking dinner, Jenna made her way over to where Ori was sitting alone in a corner of the camp. The scribe was busy knitting but looked up as she approached.
"Good evening, Miss Jenna," he said quietly.
She smiled down at him. "Hi Ori, I was wondering if I could sit with you for a bit?"
He looked confused as to why she would want to sit with him, but he nodded and moved up to make room for her on the fallen tree branch he was sitting on.
"I was actually wondering if I could ask you something?" she inquired. Ori motioned for her to continue so she kept talking. "I was just wondering about friendships in dwarven culture, is it ok to touch someone you're just friends with, or is that frowned upon?"
"Touch someone?" Ori squeaked.
"Erm yes. I mean like touching someone's hand or their shoulder when you are talking to them. In my world, things like that are normal in friendships but when I did it earlier, I got some funny looks," she asked, holding her own hand and then shoulder to demonstrate the manner of touch she meant.
"Oh, no, that would normally be fine if you're friends. I don't really know why you would get funny looks for that, depending on the situation of course," Ori said, looking puzzled momentarily. "May I ask who it was?"
"Well earlier with Nori I was…"
"Oh! Nori doesn't really like anyone touching him. He's not very sociable," Ori informed her.
"Oh, I see. I didn't realise, I'd hate it if I had made Nori feel uncomfortable."
Jenna was confused, Nori hadn't seemed to mind when she'd hugged him earlier. It was strange that she had never found Nori to be closed off at all when everyone else seemed to have that impression of him. But then he had looked at her a little strangely when she'd touched his shoulder. Perhaps he thought she had been coming on to him or something like that. Jenna understood exactly what that was like as she didn't like those situations either. She might have to talk to Nori about it later.
"Anyway, I was just making sure I hadn't inadvertently done something wrong, that's all." she shrugged.
Ori smiled at her. "Oh no. I'm sure you haven't. Try not to worry about it. Can you excuse me? You've reminded me that I need to talk to Nori about something."
Jenna nodded at the young dwarf as he stood up to leave and went back to pondering why Thorin and Nori had reacted the way they had earlier. Was it her? Maybe she was just being overly sensitive. It had been a few hard weeks, maybe she was reading too much into things. She was startled when the branch she was sitting on moved under her as someone sat beside her.
"Fili! You frightened me!" she gasped.
The dwarf prince smiled at her. "Sorry, it wasn't my intention."
He sat beside her quietly for a while shuffling his feet and looking at her through the side of his eye. She could tell he wanted to say something but was holding back. "Is everything alright, Fili?
"Oh, well it's just that I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Ori," he admitted. "Can I ask, are you and Nori courting?"
Jenna raised an eyebrow at his question. Why did everyone seem to think that Nori was courting her? Thorin had thought the same thing not long ago. For some reason, it annoyed her less when Fili asked her though and she found herself far less snappy than she had been with Thorin.
"No, we are not courting, Fili. Why would you think that?" she asked.
The prince simply shrugged but he visibly brightened at her answer. "Do you not want to court him then?" he asked.
Jenna suddenly had a horrible thought that maybe Fili was asking because he himself wanted to court her. "Nori and I are friends, Fili, that is all. I have no interest in courting ANYONE! EVER!"
She felt slightly guilty as Fili was immediately saddened at her answer.
"Never? No matter who it was?" he asked quietly.
"Never," she repeated firmly. While she didn't want to hurt Fili, she didn't want to give him false hope either. She really didn't intend on ever courting or marrying anyone. Though she did feel guilty as the young prince nodded sadly and stood up from where he was sitting.
"Goodnight, Miss Jenna."
"Goodnight, Fili."
Dwalin's POV
Dwalin was sharpening his axes beside Nori when Ori approached. "Nori! We need to talk!" he announced before he grabbed his brother's hand and pulled him up from his seat and away from the rest of the company. Dwalin was watching them intently as Ori spoke animatedly with his brother. Nori suddenly frowned, clearly angry, and spoke in hushed tones to his younger brother before storming away in the opposite direction. He was just about to go and ask Ori if everything was alright when Esme approached him with two bowls of steaming stew in hand.
"Here, eat up," she said simply as she took a seat beside him. "Fili caught some rabbits earlier, may as well enjoy a hot meal while we can."
He nodded and tucked into his food.
"What was that all about?" she asked, gesturing towards where Ori and Nori had been arguing.
Dwalin shrugged. "No idea! It's rightly annoyed Nori though, whatever it was. Then again, Nori is very easily annoyed."
"That's probably why Jenna likes him. They're very alike," Esme said, grinning.
Dwalin looked in the direction that Nori had stormed off in to see Jenna following him away from camp. "She likes him?" he questioned. He thought back to what Kili had said that morning about Thorin thinking the thief was courting Jenna. Could he have been right? "Do you think they're courting?"
Esme laughed at that. "No, I don't think they're courting. Jen has no interest. If she did, I'd imagine she'd go for someone just like Nori."
Dwalin nodded. "Do you not think Thorin would suit her better?"
Esme snorted at that. "I think those two would only end up killing each other. Wait! Why? Does he like her? Did he say something?"
Dwalin instantly regretted saying anything. His wife would no doubt try to interfere if she had any inkling that Thorin had feelings for Jenna. "No, it was just something Kili said. I'm sure it's nothing."
"Kili said something. What did he say!?" Esme asked excitedly.
"Leave it be lass," he warned but it was too late, he should have known better than to say anything in the first place.
"KILI!" Esme shouted across the camp. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Dwalin shook his head. This was not going to end well.
TBC