Chapter 2: Home Cooked Eds Have Crushes:

Opening: watch?v=BxDN8QVGjK8

Inkopolis News watch?v=v5u2wbOPlW0

Pearl: "Yo yo yo! It's Inkopolis News live at the scene boy! Let's get into the Turf War stages!"

Marina plays the hip-hop music, and the stages are shown on their screen.

Marina: "Today's ranked battle is rainmaker, and the league battle is splat zones. Also, the weather is clear weather with blue skies and golden sunshine (David Lynch reference).

Pearl: "Awesome, I love a bright sunshiny day! And that's all the time we have! Until Next time!"

Pearl and Marina: "Don't get cooked... Stay off the hook!"

News Ends

Sea Peach, Park n' Splat, Morning ( /patriccaird/eds-bps-kanker-jimmy-sarah?in=patriccaird/sets/music-from-the-cartoon-network):

Lee Kanker is in the living room of the trailer watching the Inkopolis News.

Lee Kanker: "Hey Marie! Have you done cooking those salmon eggs and sea bacon yet?!"

Marie Kanker: "I'M ALMOST DONE! I JUST NEED TO MAKE MAY'S PLATE!"

Annoyed, Lee Kanker marches upstairs and busts the door to their bedroom down. May is snoozing on the king size bed that the Kankers share.

Lee Kanker: "WAKE UP, GOLDIE LOCKS! MARIE IS PREPARING BREAKFAST FOR US!"

May springs up and gets excited to the sound of breakfast.

May Kanker: "OH BOY! SALMON EGGS AND SEA BACON! MMMMM!"

May then knocks Lee over and runs into the kitchen where Marie is preparing breakfast. She sits at the table bouncing up and down. Lee walks into the kitchen annoyed by May's antics and sits at the table for breakfast. Marie Kanker finishes the breakfast, puts them on plates, and serves them to herself and her sisters. They finish up eating their breakfast with coffee from Spykebucks.

Marie Kanker: "So, what is the plan for today, Lee?"

Lee Kanker: "I say we pay our boyfriends (the Eds) a little visit. After all, we were saved from the Octarians by that boy who lives in the Cul Du Sac and has that wooden weapon as his best friend."

May Kanker: "I just want to hug and squeeze him for all he has done for us!"

Marie Kanker: "I am glad that I got the phone numbers of the Squid Sisters so we can hang out shopping. But yeah, we deserve a hunky man after what we went through. Right, May?"

May Kanker: "I can't wait to cover big Ed with my kisses! Huuuuuhhhhhh!"

Lee Kanker: "Alright then, let's give our boyfriends a visit, Kanker style!"

The scene switches to the outside of their trailer, and the Kankers cackle loud and menacing.

Sea Peach, Cul Du Sac:

The Eds are walking nonchalantly to Inkopolis Square for the next turf wars.

Edd: "Oh boy, I can't wait to check out Shellendorf Institute and study about our predecessors the homosapiens and the Great Flood that dated 12,000 light years ago!"

The Eds look confused at what Edd just said. Suddenly, they see Kevin, Rolf and Nazz knocked out and covered in the Kankers' favorite perfume, Krankshaft No. 5.

Kevin: "You dorks are done. They're back."

Eddy: "Who's back?!"

Rolf: "The Kanker girls have returned and made the son of a shepherd feel like a weak pufferfish."

Nazz: "Like, you need to run, now."

The trio then gets up and runs past the Eds. They then take a bus to Inkopolis Square. The Eds watch them leave.

Edd: "That is strange, the Kankers have disappeared for weeks, and now they seem to have reappeared?"

Then suddenly, the Kankers appear behind the Eds and surprise them.

Kankers: "IT'S OUR BOYFRIENDS!"

The Eds jump in fear and now are face to face with the Kankers.

Lee Kanker: "What's good lookin' guys like you walking out and about?"

Eddy: "What are you doing here?!"

The Kankers then lunge themselves at the Eds and lock them with a tight hug.

Ed: "AAAAHHH, GIRL GERMS!"

Lee Kanker: "Spending some quality time with our boyfriends!"

May Kanker: "Yeah, that weird kid who talks to his wooden weapon and lives here saved us from the Octarians!"

Marie Kanker: "Yeah, no Octarian tears me away from my love muffin and gets away with it!"

Edd: "Yes, no, what?"

Eddy: "Jonny! I'm gonna get my hands on that squirt! Why don't you Kankers just leave us alone?!"

The Kankers let go of the Eds. The Kankers then hug each other and say together: "But we're finally hooommme!" Eddy: "Uh oh!"

Lee Kanker: "Sun!" May Kanker: "Sweat!" Marie Kanker: "And souvenirs!"

Marie then dumps out a bag of Edd's collection of human fossils, Edd's book on the Great Flood, and Edd's book on the Octarian military.

Edd: "Why, these souvenirs look strangely familiar. AAAAHHH! GIRLS WERE IN MY ROOM EDDY!"

Lee Kanker: "I think we should have fun with our boyfriends! Turf war at the trailer park!"

Eddy: "You're on! If we win, you Kankers take a hike!"

Lee Kanker: "And if we win, 300 years of smooching and wooching!"

Sea Peach, Park n' Splat; Turf War Mode: Ink the most area with your ink to win! (Music Entropical Splatoon 2 Soundtrack - YouTube)

Team Eddy's color: Green

Team Kankers' color: Pink

GO!

The Eds and the Kankers then cover the trailer park with ink.

Eddy: "Your time has come, Kankers!"

Lee Kanker emerges from Octopus form behind Eddy. Lee Kanker: "I got a crush on you! Hubba hubba!" Lee then lifts the roller, and before Eddy can react, the roller comes down. *SPLAT!* Eddy returns to his respawn point.

Edd: "Eddy, I fear they're becoming amorous!" Marie emerges from Octopus form behind Edd with a bubble blower. Marie Kanker: "Hiya dream boat!" Marie then produces three bubbles and causes them to explode. *SPLAT!* Edd returns to respawn.

Ed panics and screams "Not Ed, Not Ed!" May emerges from octopus form with a splat bomb. May Kanker: "Special delivery for my honey!" May then throws the splat bomb, and it blows up. *SPLAT!* Ed respawns.

The Eds try to cover the trailer park with ink but fail because the Kankers have more ink.

TIME'S UP!

Judd comes over to determine who won. AND THE KANKERS WIN! (Battle Lose Result Splatoon OST - YouTube)

Lee Kanker: "Alright girls, time to claim our booty!"

The Eds are stuck in the Kankers' ink. Edd: "It feels like we're in Ed's basement."

The Kankers then apply their lipstick. Marie Kanker: "Pucker up, oven mitt!" May Kanker: "Put those lips together and make like a fish!" The Kankers proceed to kiss the Eds.

All the Eds can do is scream and cower in fear. Ed: "NOT HOME! NOT HOME!"

The Eds are then smothered in Kanker kisses.

Inkopolis Square (Music watch?v=9aOiMsSgqwE)

Kevin, Rolf and Nazz notice an ink rainbow, which are the agents traveling from Octo Valley to Octo Canyon. In Inkopolis legends, if you see an ink rainbow in the sky, you must make a wish.

Rolf: "I wish those Kanker girls would leave those poor Edboys alone."

Nazz: "You know that will never come true."

Rolf: "It just feels like I am doing something for the Edboys."

Nazz: "I wish today would be a fun day with you, Kevin."

Kevin: "Me too, Nazz." Kevin and Nazz enter Deca Tower for the turf wars. Rolf enters Grizzco for his job. When they are about to leave Inkopolis Square, they encounter the Eds covered in Kanker kiss marks.

Rolf: "Eh?" Edd: "I was hoping this kiss would be more romantic." Eddy: "Alas, the battleground can be a cruel mistress." Ed: "I'm stumped."

The trio comforts the Eds, clean the kiss marks off, and head over to Spykebucks to order drinks from Spyke for the Eds.

Spyke: "Let me guess, Kankers making off with the Eds again?"

Kevin: "Yeah, give them an extra just because they have been through a lot. It's on me."

Nazz, Rolf, Kevin and the Eds then have their drinks. End of Chapter.

Ending Theme: watch?v=VMw7OYH1-uw