Chapter 3: Fast Expressway, Ed
Metro Train, Car 1 (Inside the Deepsea Metro Subway Car - Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion [OST] - YouTube)
Agents 1 and 2 are discussing with 3 and 8 about how they are going to cure the partially sanitized citizens. Agent 2 looks in her book of historical cures."
Agent 2: "Apparently, in my book of historical cures, there is one called the Toadley Miracle cure, or for short, Miracle Cure. This magical object can cure literally anything. All it needs is someone to make their deepest wish, and the cure will grant it." (Miracle Cure: Miracle_Cure)
Agent 1: "What are we waiting for?! Let's get that cure!" Agent 2: "But, the cure is divided into three separate star cures. When you gather them, some healer, or magical creature, must stick them together in order to get the Miracle cure." Agent 1: "Bummer, you always come with bad news!" (Star Cures: Star_Cure)
Agent 2: "I wish Agent 4 were here. He is always so nice. Huuuhhh." CQ Cumber: "Actually, I am able to find three stations with those cures. Agents 3 and 8, you ready to retrieve the star cures and save everyone in Inkopolis?" Agents 3 and 8: "Yes sir!" CQ Cumber: "Then let's go to the stations."
Opening: watch?v=PQCtUWsJPcE
Station 4: Wassup 8-Ball Station (music: Regret watch?v=rK2XOMMnbPY) (Hero ink: red violet) (Enemy ink: sanitized turquoise)
Agents 3 and 8 and CQ Cumber get off the bus. CQ Cumber: "Okay Agent 8, your goal is to get the 8 ball to the goal safely. That way, the Metro can keep advancing forward, and the cures will become accessible easily.
Agent 8 then walks past the turnstiles. She guides the 8-ball towards ramps and platforms and dodges some sanitized octotroopers. Eventually, she gets the 8-ball to the goal.
TEST PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS!
Agents 3 and 8 and CQ Cumber get back on the train.
Station 5: The Radical Station, Man! (Music: Taco Zones Rendezvous watch?v=qxjJM3WLllo) (Hero Ink: Orange) (Enemy Ink: Sanitized Turquoise)
Agents 3 and 8 and CQ Cumber get off the train.
CQ Cumber: "Okay, this is where the first star cure is. Past this station is the turf war area known as Blackbelly Skatepark. Agent 3, you will use a skateboard to do tricks and dodge Sanitized Octoling attacks. When you get to the end, you will retrieve the first Star Cure."
Agent 3: "That sounds fun! How about a kiss for good luck, Agent 8?!" Agent 8 then kisses Agent 3. Agent 3 then enters the park.
She grabs a skateboard and does tricks. The Sanitized Octolings try to splat Agent 3, but she is so evasive with the skateboard that they miss. Agent 3 goes in midair, throws a booyah bomb at them, and splats them. She then goes to the star cure and claims it.
TEST PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS!
Agent 3 and 8 and CQ Cumber get back on the train.
Metro Train, Car 4
Kevin looks out the window at the station that lead to Blackbelly Skatepark. Kevin: "Oh man, I love going there and doing tricks with my bike." Kevin's bike is seen on the train with him. Nazz: "You always stick with that bike everywhere we go, dude!" Kevin: "Hey! I'm not leaving without my bike!"
Station 6: Righteous Rails Station (music: Above watch?v=9jfeMtkqFmM) (Hero Ink: Blue) (Villain Ink: Sanitized Turquoise)
Both agents and CQ Cumber arrive at the station.
CQ Cumber: "Okay, Agent 8, you must ride the rails and pop all the crates."
Agent 8: "Right on it!" Agent 8 then heads past the turnstiles. Agent 3: "Bye sweetheart! I wish you luck!" Agent 8: "Thanks cutie!" Agent 3 blows 8 a kiss, and she catches it.
Agent 8 then gets on the rails, and performs tricks, while also dodging octorpedoes. With the jet squelcher in hand, she can destroy all the crates.
TEST PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS!
The agents and CQ Cumber return to the train.
Metro Train, Car 1
Agent 1: "We have the first cure! WOOHOO!"
CQ Cumber: "Not only that, but there is another station with another cure. This station is connected to the Sanitizer Express somehow. The express has the star cure powering it. But the sanitized inklings on that train seek to take the train to central station so that way the sanitized hackers can get into the system and unlock the entrance to Inkopolis. We cannot let that happen! The goal is to not only retrieve the star cure, but to stop that train!"
Agent 3: "Is there a Titan's Station up ahead?"
CQ Cumber: "Fortunately, there is one up ahead. And I think I know where you are going with this, Agent 3."
Titan's Station (music: bless watch?v=SF7mjgiF6bc)
Agent 3 gets off the train and retrieves the titan's jawbreaker from the altar. She then gets back on the train
Metro Train, Car 1
Agent 3: "Heyyy, 8! Guess who just got you a sweet titan's jawbreaker?"
Agent 8: "You did?" Agent 3: "That's right!" Agent 8: "YAY! NOW WE CAN GET THE STAR CURE AND BEAT THE TRAIN!" Agent 8 then smothers 3 with hugs and kisses.
Station 7: The Unstoppable Station
The agents get off the train, where this station has two train gaps, one for the Metro Train, and the other for the Sanitizer Express.
The Sanitizer Express stops to a halt, and two male sanitized inkling conductors start flirting with Agents 3 and 8. Sanitized Inkling 1: "I don't care how imperfect you are, I would love to sleep with both y'all! YAAAAHOOHOOHOO!"
Agents 3 and 8 look disgusted with what he said. Sanitized Inkling 2: "Ah, forget what he said. Why don't you hot stuff get on this train, and I will show you a good time!" The agents are even more disgusted than before. Agent 8: "Actually, Agent 3 and I are doing just fine! Why don't you disinfected hicks take a hike!"
The two conductors then are upset with what Agent 8 said. Sanitized Inkling 1: "Geez b!% #, I was trying to show you a good time. But now you must act all nasty? Geez. You imperfect creatures are worse than the sanitized. And you should smile more!" The Express then leaves.
Agents 3 and 8 are disgusted with what those perverts said. Agent 3 pulls out the Titan's Jawbreaker. Agent 3: "Agent 8, want to do the honors?" Agent 8 eats the jawbreaker and turns into a 100-foot giant. She picks Agent 3 up and places her on her shoulder. Agent 8 then gives chase to the Sanitizer Express.
Agent 8 vs the Sanitizer Express (Music: (22) Armored titan theme from Shingeki no kyojin OST (Mika Kobayashi) HD - YouTube) (Hero Ink: red violet) (Enemy Ink: Sanitized Turquoise)
The train conductors look out the side windows to see Agent 8 running after the train. Sanitized Inkling 2: "Hey Butch." Sanitized Inkling 1: "Yeah Bubba?" Bubba: "Remember that h $&#? Well, she is chasing the train now." Oh, the two Sanitized Inkling conductors are named Butch and Bubba. Butch: "Let's back this train into her to teach her not to be rude to us."
Butch then backs the Sanitizer Express, but they do not know that Giant Agent 8 is 100-feet in height, and the train is 10-feet in height. The train then collides with her foot and is forced to a stop.
Butch and Bubba then look out the window and notice the 100-foot giant looming over them. Butch: "Now that's a huge b %(#!" Annoyed and angered, Agent 8 stomps out one of the cars, leaving the other four intact. Bubba: "AAAAAHHHHH! THAT WAS OUR SANITIZED GOOP CARGO!" Butch: "Don't worry, once we get this train to Central Station, which is where the entrance to Inkopolis is, we will get the hackers to open the entrance! The world will belong to Kamabo Sanitizers!" Bubba: "Better hurry, or else she will stomp out the next car! We only have 100 miles to go!"
The train then advances forward, with Giant Agent 8 following behind. Eventually, the train stops at a station. 75 miles until Central Station. The Sanitizer Express then opens one of its cars, and sanitized octopods get off. Butch: "If she tries to crush the next car, these octopods will blow her foot off." Bubba: "Dude, that will finish her for sure!" Agent 3, who is as angry at the two sanitized inklings as 8 is, pulls out a booyah bomb. Everyone on the Deepsea Metro train and Agent 8 then say "Booyah!" which powers up the bomb. Agent 3 throws the booyah bomb at the octopods, splating them all. Agent 8 then crushes the next car. Only 3 cars are still intact.
Bubba: "AAAAHHHH! KENNY THE OCTOTROOPER WAS ON THAT CAR! SHE KILLED KENNY!" The train then goes through a tunnel, where the tunnel is through an 80-foot mountain. The train then fires a sanitized octorpedo at the giant agent. Agent 8 punches and kicks the mountain multiple times. When the octorpedo gets close to Agent 8, she then dodges to the side, and the octorpedo misses. The giant then finishes off the mountain and crushes the next car. Two cars stay intact.
The train keeps going, and then stops at the next station. 25 miles until Central Station. The car then opens, and Sanitized Octolings get off the car. They then run up to Agent 8 and attack her legs. Agent 3 throws an ink bomb at the Octoling attackers, splating half of them. Agent 8 kicks the other half away from her, kicking them into a gorge.
Butch: "Don't worry, man. We are close to Central Station, and that car is the one with the hackers on board. WOOO!" Then suddenly, Agent 8 stomps out the next car. Only one car remains. Bubba: "Now can we panic?" The two conductors then fight with each other, throwing insults at each other.
Agent 3 enters the train, taking the star cure that powers the Sanitizer Express. Agent 3: "Oh, and you boys need to smile more." Agent 3 then pulls out a big sushi wrap and wraps both sanitized inklings up. She then pours Soy Sauce over the sanitized inklings. Agent 3: "My giant girlfriend is hungies from all that running. Her favorite food is sushi."
Agent 3 gets off the train with the two sushi wrapped boys. She then places them in front of Agent 8. Agent 3: "One sanitized jerk sushi a la cart for my dreamgirl. Bon appetite."
Agent 8: "Awww, you always know sushi is my favorite food." The giant agent picks the wrapped sanitized inklings up and throws them into her mouth. Butch: "Well, at least we get to be eaten by something real cute. Yuck yuck yuck." Bubba: "Oh, shut up you..." Agent 8 eats the two boys with a smile on her face. Agent 8 picks 3 up and gives her a kiss. She then places Agent 3 on her shoulder.
Agent 8 kicks the Sanitizer Express into the nearest gorge, destroying it.
Agent 8 arrives at Central Station with Agent 3. Agent 8 then returns to her normal size. The Metro Train arrives at Central Station, and both agents get on the train.
Metro Train
Agent 1: "ALRIGHT! WAY TO GO YOU TWO! WE HAVE TWO STAR CURES! ONLY ONE LEFT!"
Agent 2: "Gotta say, I'm impressed with both of you."
Agent 3: "Thanks, it was really nothing." Agent 3 then gets changed into her DJ Sango outfit. Agent 3: "Well Agent 8, how do I look?" Agent 8: "Not only do you look cute, but you look awesome in that! If it hadn't been for you, this train would be in that Giant Sanitized Octoling's digestion."
Agent 3: "You know there's something you should know, so I'm gonna tell you so. Don't sweat it, forget it, enjoy the show. Working all day, now it's time to unwind. Kick back, relax, take a load off your mind. Haha!" Agent 1 is playing the guitar, with Agent 2 playing the drums, and Cuttlefish spitting beats. DJ Octavio and Dedf1sh are mixing beats for DJ Sango. Agent 3: "I'll be busting the moves; I'll be busting the rhymes! We'll be bustin' and laughin' 'cause it's party time! Everybody's feelin' fine 'cause it's party time!" Everyone on the train: "Party time! Party time! Everybody's feelin' fine 'cause it's party time! Party time! Pary time!" (This is a reference from Titanic: The Legend Goes On where the dog sings his famous song Party Time. watch?v=WNX-UDPYMMY)
At Central Station, the Kankers are chasing the Eds, and Kevin is cleaning his bike. The Eds run past Kevin. Kevin: "If you dorks ruin my bike, I'll pound ya'!" Then the Kankers knock into Kevin's bike and run Kevin over.
Agent 3: "Just leave your troubles at the door, leave your worries behind! Leave the rest up to me, you gonna like what you find! I'll be bustin' the moves, I'll be bustin' the rhymes, we'll be bustin' up a laughin' 'cause it's Party Time!" Chorus: "Party Time! Party Time! Everybody's feelin' fine 'cause it's Party Time! Party Time! Party Time! Everybody's feelin' fine 'cause it's Party Time! Party Time! Party Time!" The DJ's, Agents 1 and 2, and Cuttlefish finish playing their music. Agent 3: "It's Party Time!"
End of Chapter
Ending: watch?v=xOoWvI5KbAM