Namur took one look at the now familiar jolly Roger, and groaned. When the Fishman had originally been asked by Oyaji to get some Sake from paradise, he had never actually considered that he might run into the infamous Spade pirates.
Unfortunately luck did not seem to be on his side, as the Fishman noticed a very familiar orange cowboy hat amongst the crowded market. Now, Namur could easily admit to being curious about the youth who had managed to catch so many of his family's attention.
However Namur could also admit that he was incredibly hung over right now, and really not equipped to deal with the particular brand of insanity that the Spades had so quickly become famous for.
Unfortunately, leaving was also not an option as he was here on a request for Oyaji. Letting out a heavy sigh, the commander turned around to walk to the slightly less popular booze store a mile away, only to be met with the sight of an excited freckled teenager.
"Nooooo. Not you. I'm too hung over for this." Rather than take offence to the Fishman's horrified tone, the young Captain let out a soul warming laugh "Don't know what you're talking about commander! I'm a delight!"
Deciding that he couldn't be bothered to respond, Namur started to walk towards the shops only to be stopped once more by the freckled teen. Shooting the teenage Captain his best glare, Namur faltered as he noticed the large Sake bottle in the teen's hand.
A bottle, the exact same size and brand as the one he had been sent to collect. Seeing his apparent interest, the teen grinned and lifted the bottle in front of him.
"I have a proposal for you Mr eighth division commander." Namur paused before giving the teen a considering look, a hint of steel in his gaze "That depends on your request."
Ace grinned excitedly "Nothing that will make you go against your crew, or morals I promise. It'll even let you indulge in your hobby." The fishman was intrigued in spite of himself how the hell would this kid know his hobby?!
Eventually the commander decided to indulge his curiosity, after all there wasn't much that such a rookie crew could do to harm him, and the man couldn't deny feeling intrigued at the teen's actions.
After all, what's the worst that could happen?
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Marco stared at the paper in utter horror.
How could he? How could Namur betray him like this?
Because despite the fact that his brother wasn't mentioned anywhere in the article, the first division commander would know the Fishman's artistic handiwork anywhere.
Marco lit the paper on fire. Ignoring his siblings questioning gazes, and surprised shouts, the phoenix's hands clenched in anger. The poor first division commander had just spent the last three days flying around different islands to see if anyone had seen anything about Squardo's attacker, only to come back empty handed and see this monstrosity.
Namur was meant to be his sane sibling, the one who didn't increase the poor phoenix's already huge pile of paperwork. Somewhere inside the first division commander something broke.
A hard glint entered the Marco's eye, there would be retribution for this betrayal.
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Miles away from the Moby Dick where one very irate first division commander had just sworn vengeance, Shanks stared down at the same paper in something akin to disbelief.
He'd known Ace was slightly crazy when they'd first met. Hell, all D's were at least a little bit insane, but he'd never thought the kid could be capable of something like this.
Looking up at his first mate, who was mirroring his expression, Shanks couldn't help but grin at the insanity of the situation. "I think the kid's actually more insane than Garp is. And that's saying something." Benn nodded in mute agreement, still staring in horror at the newspaper in front of him.
Not that Shanks could blame his first mate for his silence. After all, it had to have been the first time in human history, that someone had managed to pull off something like this.
After all, who the hell else (other than Ace apparently) would ever think to spray paint several marine battle ships bright yellow, before welding bits of them together to create what equated to a giant metal duck...
A giant metal duck, which had promptly been crashed into the side of the nearest marine base with the words 'fuck no, I will not betray my sister and become a Warlord' painted on the side of said Duck in neon orange, along with a customary ace of spades.
Shanks really loved this kid.
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Sabo stared at the photo in bland disbelief, distantly wondering how the hell Ace had pulled this off. Because yes his brother had eaten the mera mera no mi, which would have made the welding possible. But that didn't change the fact that his brother had the artistic talent of a slightly demented three year old.
Not only that, but Ace wouldn't have been able to go into the water to spray paint the bottom of the boat anyway, meaning his brother had, had help. Dialling up the pirate's number, Sabo waited until he heard a familiar click to start his rant.
"What the hell Ace?! Who the fuck welds two navy battle ships together and paints it like a duck?! Why the fuck didn't you just write them a refusal letter like a normal person?"
"Well hello to you too Sabo." The ex-noble tried not to smile at his brother's dryly amused tone "Seriously though... Why a duck?" The revolutionary watched the Den Den Mushi break into his brother's familiar grin.
"Cause I thought it would be cool, like a giant metal version of a rubber duck! Though in my defence, Paddy's the one who suggested crashing a ship through a Marine base with my refusal on it."
Somewhere in the background Sabo heard someone, probably Paddy, shouting about how 'It wasn't my fault. I was only joking about crashing the ship, it wasn't my fault Ace was insane enough to take it literally.'
Unable to keep a straight face, the revolutionary burst into laughter "Certainly the most interesting refusal to a warlord position that I've ever seen. But weren't you trying to keep your devil fruit a secret? The World Government's gonna know somethings up after this."
The pirate let out an unconcerned laugh "I'm not exactly trying to hide it, it's more the fact that I've not met an opponent which needed me to use my fruit yet." Ace's tone turned darker "And I've been trying to get used to fighting without it, just in case something happens."
Sabo paused, it wasn't the first time Ace had alluded to being worried about relying too heavily on his devil fruit, and this made it abundantly clear that it definitely wasn't a coincidence.
Unfortunately a phone call was not a good place to address whatever issues his brother might be having, so the revolutionary decided to let it drop for now.
"I'd hate to be the person who first forces you to use your fruit. They're going to be in for a nasty surprise." The dark look on the Den Den Mushi faded, replaced by a smile and a laugh "That's true. The look on Namur's face when I used my fire to weld the ships together was priceless. I ended up taking a photo, just in case it comes in handy for later."
Sabo stared at the snail in suspicion, Namur wasn't a common name. And there was only one person he could think of with the same name who might've been down to helping Ace fuck with the marines.
"Ace... Please don't tell me you teamed up with one of Whitebeard's commanders to create that giant yellow monstrosity." There was a moment of silence "Fine then, I won't tell you. And don't call Bob a monstrosity! You'll hurt his feelings!"
Sabo groaned, because of course his brother had named the duck. Why did he expect anything else?! Shaking his head, the revolutionary decided to focus on the more important question "How the hell did you convince a Whitebeard commander to help you anyway?!"
Ace smirked "A healthy combination of bribery and blackmail!" Deciding he didn't want to know, Sabo gave a resigned sigh "Just be careful Ace." There was a small smile on the other end of the line "I will be don't worry. Besides I have a plan!"
Sabo couldn't help but smirk "And does that plan account for the fact that Gramps is going to kill you as soon as he sees what you've done?"
The Den Den Mushi paled, and the revolutionary couldn't help but take a moment to be impressed, by both the variety and the creativity of his brother's swear vocabulary.
Unfortunately it wasn't long before Ace's look of fear was replaced with a shark toothed grin "Come to think of it, Gramps doesn't know you're alive yet." It was Sabo's turn to pale "You wouldn't."
The Den Den Mushi's grin widened "I think we both know I would. After all, I may be a pirate but you're a revolutionary. And you're working under Gramps's kid at that." That made the revolutionary pause "Wait what?"
"Huh, I didn't tell you already? Dragon is Lu's dad." Sabo gaped down at the Den Den Mushi "You're joking right?" the freckled pirate laughed "fraid not. I think Dragon got all the brains in the family though."
The revolutionary groaned in agreement "That explains so much. Anyway I need to go, so I'll try to call again in a few weeks. Try not to do anything too crazy in the meantime?" Ace laughed "Not likely, but hey if that's what helps you sleep at night, then sure!"
Sabo gave a quick grin before hanging up. Looking at the newest list of uncovered slave holdings, the revolutionary felt his grin turn savage.
It was time to get to work.
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Namur quietly tiptoed around the deck, desperately trying to avoid notice. He'd just known that being the first commander to meet the Spades would screw him over eventually!
The fishman had arrived back on the Moby dick half an hour ago, and had been actively trying to avoid Haruta and Thatch ever since. If the two commanders would stop chasing him for five minutes, then Namur could hand over the bribe he'd picked up for them and be done with it.
Unfortunately the two commanders had proven themselves to be completely uninterested in talking. They also had a look in their eyes, which was a touch too close to insanity for Namur to be comfortable with trying to talk them round.
The only real option for the Fishman, was to go find Oyaji. Once he was with Whitebeard Thatch and Haruta would have to stop trying to kill him, which would hopefully give him enough time to bribe them into stopping. Smiling at his plan, the Fishman gave a small yelp of surprise at the feeling of a hand being placed on his shoulder.
Turning around, Namur came face to face with the first division commander, and gave a relieved smile "Marco, thank God it's you. Thatch and Haruta won't stop chasing me for meeting the Spades first! I don't suppose you know where Oyaji is at the minute?"
The phoenix gave a small smile "Yup he's in one of the smaller kitchens stealing some alcohol. Come on, I'll take you there." Namur sighed in relief and started to follow his oldest brother unhesitatingly, blissfully unaware of the vengeful glint in Marco's eyes.
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Haruta and Thatch stared at Namur in complete and utter shock.
The Fishman they had spent the last hour chasing, was currently tied up in the rigging, wearing the most hideous duck costume either of them had ever seen in their lives.
Finally dragging his eyes away from the monsterous scene in front of them, Thatch looked at Haruta and spoke "Did you do this?"
Haruta shook his head in mute amazement, and more than a little fear "I wish. You?" Thatch also shook his head "Not me either. So who?" Both pirates paused as they heard the cheerful whistling of Bink's Sake.
Cautiously peering around the corner, to where the noise was coming from, the two commanders were shocked to notice their eldest brother whistling happily. Despite the cheerful tune, there was a somewhat sadistic gleam in Marco's eyes that made both commanders take a step back in fear.
Moving as quietly as possible, the two commanders quickly moved out of earshot, before making a silent agreement not to create any excess paperwork for the next few days.
After all Marco may be fun to tease, but no one was willing to risk it when the phoenix was pushed far enough to retaliate.
Not after what Marco had done to Vista the last time he was pushed too far...
Both Commanders shuddered in fear. This was going to be a long few days.
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Sengoku took one look at the latest damage report, and resisted the urge to groan. He'd told the elder stars that trying to recruit the Ace of Spades would be a fruitless endeavour, but had they believed him?
No, of course not. So not only did Sengoku still need to recruit a new Warlord, but now he had to deal with the fact that two of his metal warships had been welded together to create a giant fucking duck. Because why the hell not?!
Garp (being the helpful person he was) had taken one look at the paper and had promptly run off to start the second Garpocolypse.
Sengoku was so done with this shit
Why had he become a Marine again?
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Hiding his exasperated expression behind a stern facade, the old Marine sat up straighter "Come in." the marine, gave a small salute "I've been sent to inform you that Admiral Akainu has returned from his mission Sir."
Sengoku nodded, barely resisting the urge to groan. The old Marine somehow doubted that Akainu had heard the rumours yet. Which meant when he finally did hear them, Sengoku would also have to deal with the destruction he caused on top of all his other issues.
Sometimes Sengoku hated being in charge.
Author's note
Hi guys! so first off quite a few people mentioned having Namur as the first person to meet the Spades which I actually really liked the idea of, Namur doesn't get enough love! As for the Bob the duck... I literally couldn't help myself the idea popped into my head and refused to leave.
In answer to some of the reviews! First of all to ParrllelPenSW thank you for the nice review as always! I hope Ace's refusal satisfied you XD to answer your question I have read the latest chapter of One Piece and honestly I loved the reveal of Kaido's true form, I really can't wait for the next chapter, I hate cliffhangers, but I bet the fighting is gonna be awesome! To nolalin I'm glad you're enjoying the story! And the Marines will probably catch on... eventually XD. And finally to amreed I totally agree the idea of poor Marco being forced to go from island to island really made me laugh for some reason, unfortunately the poor overworked man seems to have snapped. Oops?
Anyway thank you so much to everyone else who reviewed, I hope you've enjoyed the chapter! The next one may be slightly late due to a report I have been majorely procrastinating on XD! please leave a review to let me know what you think!