Sabo stared at his long-time friend with disbelief clear in his eyes "You can't be serious Koala?" The former sun pirate grinned menacingly at her partner "You know I am Sabo. The man did somewhat raise you after all, I think he at least deserves to know that you're alive."
The former noble gestured over to where his adopted Grandfather was laughing manically at a batch of struggling new recruits whilst scoffing down rice crackers.
"Excellent point Koala, counterpoint, he's going to murder me once he figures out exactly what I've been doing these past few years. Gramps may be an idiot, but he's always had a sixth sense for when we were doing something 'un-marine like' as he put it. And if there's anything worse than being a pirate it would probably be being a revolutionary."
Koala let out a small scoff of disbelief "Sixth sense or not, you know you can't escape him forever Sabo. There's absolutely no way in hell Ace isn't planning to throw you under the bus the next time he sees the Vice Admiral anyway."
The top hat wearing revolutionary let out an exaggerated groan "Well you're not wrong there. But that doesn't mean I can't put it off for as long as humanly possible. Besides Hak should be coming to pick us up soon anyway, and after that I can just try and avoid the geezer until he's retired!"
Koala's raised an unimpressed eyebrow "That's a terrible plan. Besides this is your chance to get back at Ace for all the insanity he's subjected you too!" The blond gave his partner a questioning look (making the informed decision not to mention her own part in their recent insanity).
Koala grinned "The Marines are notorious gossips. Meaning if you were to take this opportunity to distract Garp with some harmless rumours about Ace, then whatever you spread is gonna go straight to Marine headquarters. Which basically means that most of the grand line will know all about it by the end of the day."
Sabo grinned in realisation an evil light entering his eyes "I'm listening." The former sun pirate smiled in a way that sent shivers down Sabo's spine and seemed to have far more teeth than strictly necessary.
"Ace can't throw you under the bus to escape Garp if you do it to him first. Besides, I think your brother probably deserves a taste of his own medicine." A calculating gleam entered the blond's eyes and somewhere across the ocean Ace felt the vague urge to flee for his life.
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Garp smiled down at his suffering recruits. He was about one day from Sabaody and the old Marine had already made a fool proof plan about how best to track down his Grandson for...training purposes... after he'd finished up his farce of an investigation.
After all, whilst the primary objective of his trip was to 'find the heinous criminal who dared challenge the authority of the celestial dragons!' Garp already knew they wouldn't find anything substantial and couldn't really be bothered wasting his time looking.
He may not have been the sharpest tool in the box, but Garp knew his grandson. And whilst Ace may have procured himself a fairly airtight alibi for the time of the attack, the Vice Admiral knew deep down in his bones that the freckled teen was the one responsible for the assault on the celestial dragon, likely with the Whitebeard's help.
And if that were the case then the old Marine doubted there'd be a shred of evidence left behind. Which meant that this attack (like so many others before it) would most likely be blamed on a convenient revolutionary/pirate so as to preserve the dignity of the world government.
And while the Vice Admiral usually would have been furious about the waste of his time, the old man was more than happy to have an excuse to visit his eldest grandson. Cackling in anticipation the elderly marine was drawn out of his thoughts by a loud yell "Shitty geezer!"
Startling at the unexpected call, Garp turned around fully ready to go and punch whoever had just spoken in the face. Only to freeze at the sight of blond hair, a mischievous smile and familiar features.
"….Sabo?"
The word was barely more than a whisper, but the blond man's smile softened in response as he raised his hand in a small wave "Hi Gramps. It's been a while huh?"
Garp stepped forwards, unable take his eyes off his presumed dead grandson "How?" The teenager's smile turned sheepish as he edged slightly closer to the ships railing "Ah. About that..." The old Marine was overcome with the sudden premonition that he really wasn't going to like whatever the brat said next.
"Ikindofjoinedtherevolutionaries. But more importantly Ace got engaged to another pirate without telling you, that scoundrel! Anyway, nice catching up with you Gramps bye!"
"WHAT?!" Not giving the Marine any further time to react, the revolutionary quickly jumped over the side of railing to where Koala and Hak were already waiting to escape "GO GO GO! We want to get out of cannonball range before he figures out precisely what I just yelled at him."
Laughing at her friend's fear, Koala nimbly manoeuvred the escape vessel away from the marine ship, only to burst into full on guffaws at the enraged scream echoing behind them "GOD DAMN IT YOU SHITTY BRAT! HOW DARE YOU NOT JOIN THE MARINES!!!!"
Letting out a shudder of relief at their near escape Sabo grinned at his compatriots. "Time to go home."
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Ace stared at the recently liberated slaves of the human auction house with an uncharacteristically serious look of his face.
"Before we start, I want to ask if you're all absolutely sure you want to do this? There's always a risk to this sort of work and there's absolutely no shame if anyone here doesn't wish to help out." An elderly man stepped forwards from the crowd and gave a short nod.
"We understand the risk young man and we appreciate you being honest about it. But in their quest to uphold the will of the celestial dragons, the world government has taken something from each and every one of us. Our freedom, our family, our lives, and we know that a petty prank isn't going to give us any of that back. But it's something. We will not allow them to make us silent any longer."
Ace nodded in acknowledgement, a savage grin on his face as he turned around to face the first division Commander of the Whiteboard pirates.
"I know this is a lot to ask, given that we were meant to rendezvous with the rest of the Whitebeard's soon but do you think I could steal Thatch and Haruta to help with some large scale payback before we meet up?"
The Phoenix let out a small snort of amusement "As long as Pops had no objections, I'm sure they'd be delighted to help out. As would I yoi." The Captain of the spade pirates beamed at the older man before turning back to face his audience, an evil grin firmly in place. "Then by all means, let's go make some noise. Time to begin phase one."
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Staring at the report in his hand, Sengoku wondered if it was too late to fake his death and move to a tropical island.
No more pirates, no more marines, and most importantly of all no more paperwork.
Unfortunately, as much as he wished he could just run off and never look back, the overworked fleet commander was pretty sure Tsuru would find him and drag him back by the ear if he dared to try and escape saddling her with all the work.
Letting out a heavy sigh the golden Buddha reflected on where it all went wrong. The day had been going so well before Garp had called to announce he had arrived at Sabaody.
After conducting a short investigation into the assault of the celestial dragon (upon which Garp had done the absolute minimal amount of work he could possibly get away with) the Vice Admiral had promptly declared the revolutionaries responsible for the attack.
(All the whilst quietly muttering under his breath about grandson stealing bastards).
Garp had then made the decision to call in all of his remaining holiday time for the next year and promptly abandoned his men muttering something about 'stupid grandkids' 'hidden engagements' (Garp promised to elaborate more on that one later) and the so called 'fist of love'.
While the spontaneous holiday hadn't caused much trouble in itself, it did leave the Marines mildly more vulnerable to attacks which was where problem number 2 came in.
Not even five minutes after the start of Garp's impromptu vacation, the fleet commander received an urgent report detailing the destruction of the clothing company responsible for manufacturing the Marines uniform. The culprit had even made sure to destroy every individual item of clothing on the premises.
This by itself may not have been much of an issue except for the fact that someone (and who was he kidding at this point it was almost definitely the Spades fault, everything was nowadays) was also sneaking into Marine bases and destroying whatever uniforms they could get their hands on (the laundry rooms had been hit particularly hard).
Which meant that unless Sengoku wanted all of his men arrested for indecent exposure, he needed to find a suitable uniform substitute pronto. Feeling the urge to bang his head against his desk, Sengoku was about to go find one of the Admiral's for training when Tsuru walked in.
"Please tell me it's good news and you're not here to bring me more paperwork. I'm begging you here." Looking at her old friend in something resembling pity, Tsuru shrugged "I suppose it depends on your definition of good. An anonymous benefactor has just donated a uniform substitute with enough copies to supply the entirety of the Marine force."
The fleet commander sat up and grinned "Oh thank god, the finance department is saved! Distribute them immediately!" The elderly woman hesitated a haunted look in her eyes "I'm afraid I can't allow you to order that until you've seen the new uniform first." Sengoku felt his hopes for an easy solution to his latest problem die a swift and painful death as Tsuru held up a copy of the new uniform.
The Fleet commander stared at the monstrosity of the rainbow coloured Spandex jumpsuit in his old friends' hand and barely resisted the urge to cry.
"That is not a uniform Vice Admiral Tsuru. That is an abomination. Is there no other option?! Literally anything else would do! Surely the world government could fast track rebuilding the factory?!" Tsuru shook her head in sorrow, the light dying from her eyes "Not fast enough. It's this or public indecency."
Regretting the fact that he'd ever joined the Marines, Sengoku made his toughest decision yet. And solemnly nodded his head, feeling his dignity as a Marine die as he did so. "So be it. Distribute the uniform."
Somewhere deep inside him Sengoku felt the inexplicable urge to go and murder Garp. This was all his fault somehow, the marine just knew it.
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Within a shadowy corner of the Card Deck ship two men huddled around a lone Den Den Mushi.
Looking around in paranoia the slightly shorter of the men turned to face the taller one "Everyone else is asleep right?" The taller man nodded in confirmation "They are yoi." Smiling in relief at the blond man, Dusty turned to dial the number of the final member of their clandestine meeting.
The two men waited in silence as the snail rang out only to smile as the sound of a small click echoed throughout the room "This is Benn." Dusty grinned "Excellent, we're all here then. Without further ado let's start the weekly meeting of the suffering first mates society!"
Letting out a soft snort of amusement at the name, the first mate of the red haired pirates spoke up first "Before we start our regularly scheduled bitching about our Captains, I feel like I should pass on my congratulations to Ace."
The other two first mates paused in surprise "What?" The Den Den Mushi's expression mimicked the smirk on Benn's face "According to the latest marine gossip Ace is now engaged to an unknown pirate. No one's been able to identify a culprit yet so if you want to frame anyone in particular role you should probably get a move on."
The grin on Dusty's face sent shivers down the more experienced pirates spines "My thanks for the information Benn. It'll be put to good use."
Staring at the younger man, Marco couldn't quite help but note the slightly crazy look in the cowboy's eyes. It was one all first mates eventually acquired after being pushed too far by their dumbass Captains. It was practically a right of passage, alongside mastering the perfect passive aggressive smile.
Benn chuckled drawing the Phoenix out of his thoughts "You're very welcome. In less entertaining news I should also warn you Garp has just taken a vacation and is most likely heading your way."
All colour drained out of Dusty's face "Oh shit." Marco frowned "Why would Garp be coming here?" the Spade pirate let out a slightly sheepish laugh "Guess the Captain didn't get round to telling you that, Garp is his Grandpa."
The Phoenix froze before letting out a small chuckle "That makes a terrifying amount of sense. We're going need to factor that into our plans tomorrow." Dusty nodded "I'll tell the Captain when he wakes up."
Benn and Marco made noises of agreement before the grey haired man spoke once more "Sounds good, so now that that's out the way let's get onto our regularly scheduled bitching, I want to hear all about the rainbow monstrosities the Marines have been sporting recently!"
Cackling in glee the first mates continued their meeting.
Author's note
Holy shit this chapter is way later than I meant it to be I am so sorry it took this long to update!
Ok first of all I need to start off by saying thank you so much to everyone who left a review you have absolutely no idea how much it means to me they were all incredibly encouraging and I'm so thankful for all the support! You're all amazing!
Unfortunately exams are coming up so I can't promise when my next update may be but I can promise this story will continue on until it's finished with some extra snippets in a separate story when I find the time!
I hope everyone's staying safe from the virus and that you all enjoyed the chapter and I'll do my best to update when I can!