Scarlet's Past

I've loved music my whole life, it's the one thing I still remember of my mother, we use to sing and dance, I still remember which songs were her favorite, she was a big 50's-60's fan and after she died my love for music grew even more. It kept me connected to her and when I was 8 years old I started writing my own songs, mostly about her but I would write anything I was feeling, there was just no one I could talk to, my Father was no help and I didn't have any other family. When I was 10 my Dad saw that I actually had a good voice, he finally gave me any sort of attention or affection, he immediately saw dollar signs and took me to any audition I could and put me in dance and piano classes, pretty much put me in anything that could help with my music career and that consisted almost my entire childhood. I didn't mind that though because I loved it so much, I didn't care if I made it, I just loved music but it did come with a price, because of my lifestyle lead me to have very few friends and eventually the friends I did have had long left me behind, quite frankly I can't hardly remember them now. One night he signed me up for a televised singing competition and I won and after that offers came flooding in and through my Father I signed with a label and the rest is history.

(Flashback 1)

I'm 12 years old and I'm at a party, my Dad is right there and I'm trying to tell him I want to leave, I was very uncomfortable there, it was obviously a party for adults and not children. I was the only child there and you couldn't miss most of the people drinking hard liquor, doing drugs or straight out having sex and other sexual acts right out in public but I couldn't even get a word in.

"Dad." I called out, I had been calling his name for at least 15 minutes.

"Stop interrupting me, I'm doing business, go do something." He tells me very annoyed.

"Like what?" I ask.

"I don't care." He waves me off and continues to talk to whoever he was.

I started walking around not knowing where to go or what to do, I felt so lost and kind of scared until a man from a few feet away signals for me to come to him, I don't know why but I went to him.

"Your that singer Scarlet Monroe aren't you?" He asks me.

"Yeah."

"I'm Jack, a music producer, you are so talented...I saw your show tonight and I couldn't believe it when I heard that powerful voice coming from someone so young."

"Thank you." I shyly replied.

"I've got to have you...I would love to sign you immediately." He proposes.

"Oh thanks but I'm already part a label." I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to talk to him.

"That can always be changed...I'll talk to your Dad, please have I seat." He pats the seat next to him.

I should have never walked up to Jack because it didn't take long for him to introduce me to the wrong people, I started drinking that night and took my first shot of cocaine. For the next 7 years I was terribly addicted, it was the only way to get through the pain...the pain of being sore from dancing and performing all day and never being able to take a break...pain from never feeling loved by my Dad, it was my only escape. At first when I started using I thought I would finally get his attention and show him how bad things were for me but he didn't care what I did, just as long as I was making him money.

(Flashback 2)

I'm 17 and getting fitted for an outfit for my next concert, I take a whiff of cocaine while having all these designers and fitters surround me, I did it right in front of everybody but no one cared or even took a second glance, they just talked to each other. My dad has everyone move out of the way so he can see how I look.

"...Scarlet your gaining weight again, I told you rice and vegetables only." He badgers me.

"I am." I strongly protest.

"You've gained 2 pounds...and look at your hips they are too wide." I roll my eyes at him. "Give her a corset and tighten it as much as you can." He instructs and they do as they're told.

"Dad, I can't breathe...I won't be able to perform like this." I breathlessly try to warn him, it was so painful!

"You'll be fine...tighten it some more." And of course they did as they're told again, "oh by the way your going out with Richie."

"Dad, I can't stand him...I broke up with him for a reason." I protest.

"I don't care, look (showing me a magazine) everyone's been going nuts ever since you ran into him the other day, they think your back together and that's the way I want it to stay so your going out with him, make sure they get a lot of pictures of you two holding hands and kissing." I just roll my eyes and make a disgusted grunt, I had to take another whiff of cocaine.

While I'm preforming it was very difficult to sing, I could hardly belt out the high notes but no one seemed to notice or care how much pain I was in and the audience had no idea what was going on. Right after the show I walked back to my dressing room and collapsed, I went to the hospital and they told me I had 2 broken ribs and it was also due to lack of sleep, lack of nutrition and they quickly knew I was using drugs, they didn't even need my blood work to figure that out.

"Scarlet, you are 100 pounds, you need help...you need to stay here and get some rest and fluids and I will give you some recommendations for some clinics." The doctor instructed.

"Thank..." I start to say but am quickly interrupted.

"No she doesn't, she's fine...Scarlet let's go, we have to get to the jet we have another show tomorrow." My dad bursts in the room.

"Sir, she's not going anywhere...if she leaves I'll have to report this." I was so relieved.

"Why don't I make it worth your while...(pulls out a ton of cash) this stays between us, right?"

"...Stays between us." The Doctor agrees before taking the cash. I exhale, I was so disappointed, I thought finally someone cared and was going to take a stand against my Father but he was so easily persuaded. I never saw that doctor again and that's how it was almost my entire career.

(Flashback 3)

No one knew my inner demons, no one knew what my Father was like, that all he did was take my money from me, to everyone else he was a loving father and I have to give it to him he played the part well in front of the cameras, even I believed his bullshit sometimes. The one thing I did have was my fans, I love them and nothing makes me happier then reading their sweet letters or meeting them and seeing their smiling faces or the way they cheer for me when I'm on stage, it means more to me then anything!

I had an encounter with some fans when I was 19, during an autograph signing a small young group of girls were raving to me about how much they wanted to be just like me when they grew up and how I've inspired them and for some reason I had an epiphany and I knew I had to change my life...for my fans, if any of them knew what I was doing behind closed doors I would let them all down and I couldn't do that to them so I quietly went to rehab, got myself clean and finally fired my Father, I left my label and started with a new one, cutting ties with my Father professionally, he has no authority to control me or my money anymore!

No one ever found out about me going to rehab and I've been clean ever since! I was coming from a show and I was walking next to my bodyguard and other building security and as I'm walking all my fans are cheering, wanting my autograph and I started signing as many things as I could, my bodyguard and the security were holding back people and trying to get me to keep going, I had another event I had to get to.

"Scarlet!" I heard a young fan behind me.

It was a little girl, at least 5 and she barely just touched my hip to get my attention, I turned around and saw my bodyguard grab and squeeze her little arm, she instantly cried in pain.

"Let go of her." I angrily spoke. "I'm sorry sweetheart...are you okay?"

"I think so." She sniffed.

"Here." I sign her paper that she had in her hand and gave her a necklace I was wearing, I didn't want her to remember meeting me like this.

"For me?" She asked.

"For you." I smile and poke her little nose.

"Thanks Scarlet." She said before giving me a big hug.

"Your welcome...help her find her mom and don't leave her until she does." I instruct the security.

My entourage and I pile into the limo and before he can he even step in I stop that one bodyguard.

"Um no, your fired." I very sternly inform him.

"What? You can't be serious." He spoke out.

"You don't treat my fans that way, bye."

"Where am I going to go?" He asked.

"I don't care." I shut the door in his face.

After that night I was done with bodyguards, I can't stand them! Every single one of them have turned out to be a controlling dick, they think they can do whatever they want. Now the only time I do have bodyguards they're only for concerts and big events, even then I just hire some locals for the night but other then that I don't want anything to do with them and that was 2 years ago.

It's been so much better without my Father controlling me and my career...even though he begs for money all the time. I want to tell him no but...he's my father...the only family I have and all I want is his love. I know he doesn't care about me and just cares about my money but that's how my life is anyways...even with boyfriends and just friends in general, how pathetic is that?

My career is better then ever, I don't even need to go by my last name anymore, everyone just calls me Scarlet, I'm rich and can have anything I want, my life is perfect... but inside I'm utterly and hopelessly numb. I stopped letting anyone in and it's left me cold, jaded and bitter, the few times I have let someone in my heart has been stomped to the ground, whether it was my own father or some stupid asshole, there is no one I can truly trust. I don't have any real friends or anyone I can call family, for big holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving I'm usually on the road or by myself. I learned a long time ago that I need to protect myself because one else is going to, that's why I've never shown anyone my songs, I have 5 booklets of songs and no one has seen them, not my Father or manager. Writing is one of the few ways I can let out all my anger and anything I'm feeling out and by showing someone it leaves me feeling vulnerable and I hate feeling that way! I'm terrified no one will like them, judge them which means judging me and these songs are too precious to me to find out. I don't trust anyone with them or my heart...God I sound like one of those spoiled bitches that has nothing to really complain about...I'm really fucked up!

Author Notes: You've met Scarlet, how do you like her so far? Steve is next chapter!