Chapter 16
Olivia was sitting at the kitchen table working on her laptop when Natalia came in from the living room with pictures from Henry's christening, "Look at these. They are so cute. I wanna pick one and have it framed for Mallet and Marina."
"Awe cute."
She set the pictures on the table in front of Olivia. "Yes."
"Babies are cute."
"Well I think it's just great how everything turned out beautiful with the christening when it looked like it was gonna fall apart." Natalia said pouring herself a cup of coffee.
"You saved the day." Olivia offered, with a little bit of bite to her voice.
Natalia knew Olivia was still upset about Frank but chose to ignore it. "It wasn't me, it was Daisy."
"Well you're the one who talked her into stepping up. I mean you saw a problem in the Cooper family and you took care of it. You fit right in, really."
"I was just being helpful. I made a little food, I took some pictures, that's all, really."
"You we're being everything that Frank needed you to be."
"Really Olivia. I thought we talked about this yesterday. I don't want anything to do with Frank Cooper. I was there for Buzz, and Mallet, and Marina, and Henry, not Frank. You are what I want, you and our family."
"I know I'm sorry. I just get scared sometimes."
Sitting in the chair next to Olivia, Natalia took her hand and looked her in the face. "Look, I know you have a jaded past. You haven't told me a whole lot, but from what I do know, I know you were hurt, a lot, but you have to trust me. We wont work if you don't. And you have to stop thinking that anything is ever going to happen with me and Frank. I choose you. I don't know what I can do to prove that to you. I'm not going anywhere, Not now, not ever, and certainly not for Frank Cooper. Okay?"
"Okay. I'm sorry baby. You're right, my past does make it hard for me to trust. I know you love me and aren't going anywhere. I just hate having Frank in our lives at all. I don't think he is gonna quit trying to ruin us any time soon."
"You're right, he probably wont, so how about this, we limit our interactions with him as much as possible. I don't want to alienate the entire Cooper family, they have done a lot for me, but Frank, Frank I can live without. Will that help?"
"Yes, yes it will. Like I said I know you aren't going anywhere but Frank knows a lot of my past, he also knows how to use it to make me second guess myself. I think he understands I just want you happy and is trying to make me feel like I can't do that for you so I will sabotage this relationship like I have so many times in the past."
"Well I wont let that happen. You, Ms. Spencer, are stuck with me."
"Well that's good because you, Ms. Rivera, are gonna be living with me for a very long time."
"Okay, now that that's done, can we just do this. Can you just help me pick one out?" Natalia asked, picking the pictures back up off the table.
"Yes, absolutely."
"There are a lot in here. Some really cute ones too. I gave Ashley the camera half way through. There's a…oh, there's one, it's my favorite." Natalia found and gave the photo to Olivia. "Look at that, you are so beautiful."
"Well Ashley, um, did a good job. Not bad."
"Ashley didn't take that one. I did."
Olivia looked at her with awe. She leaned up sliding her hand to the back of Natalia's neck and pulling her down for a sweet kiss. Pulling apart Natalia looked into deep green eyes, "You really are beautiful you know." Olivia could only smile.
Olivia stood to pour another cup of coffee and Natalia stole the laptop. "Okay, you know what, I'm just gonna put all of these on the computer, print some out, and then they can pick whatever they want."
Natalia opened the computer and was shocked to see real estate pages on the screen before her.
Olivia tried to stop her before she saw but was too late. "Oh, wait."
"What's this?"
"It's, it's nothing alright."
"No, it's not. Springfield Park real estate?"
"I was just surfing around."
"You're surfing for places to live. Just, so, you're moving out?"
"Just tell me what pictures you want."
Her voice began to escalate. "I don't wanna talk about pictures. I can't believe you're doing this."
"It was a moment of weakness after yesterday. We just talked about it. I'm okay now. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Natalia."
"Well sorry isn't good enough! Frank said something stupid to you and you start looking for a new place to live? Really Olivia? We talked about this yesterday, I thought you were okay. If you weren't you should have come to me!" She spat. Tears springing to her eyes.
Olivia knelt on the floor before her. She reached for Natalia's face and almost broke when Natalia pulled back. "Natalia, I'm so sorry. I know that isn't good enough but I am. I don't wanna move out. I love it here. I love you. Please….." She trailed off to a tiny whisper and laid her head in Natalia's lap, clinging to her. "Please Natalia, please don't leave me."
Natalia placed both her hands on the back of Olivia's head, gently stroking through her hair. Olivia's tears always broke her. She couldn't stay upset when this strong woman was a puddle of tears in front of her. She knew that Olivia was so broken but sometimes, it was hard to take. "I'm not going anywhere honey. I'm right here." Keeping her voice calm she continued. "That's my point. I know you're scared. I know you think you always have to protect yourself, and I get it, I do. It's just that, it's just sometimes I need you to have just a little faith in me. Faith in us."
Olivia raised her head to look at Natalia. Tear streaks staining her cheeks. "I know. I'm so, so sorry. I really don't want to screw this up and it seems like that's all I'm doing lately. I love you so much Natalia. I promise I will do better. I know I said that yesterday and I meant it, I just, I had a moment of weakness, that's all. It will never happen again. I will come to you, whatever you need, just please, please don't give up on me."
Cupping her face in her hands, Natalia brought herself just inches from her. Their lips almost touching. She looked deep into her eyes, making sure Olivia really heard her. "I will never give up on you. You are my family. We will get through this together. I will fight all of your demons. Until my last breath, I will fight for you, for us." Closing the remaining distance she took Olivia's mouth into a searing kiss. Caressing her with her tongue. Making love to her mouth as if it was the last thing she would ever do.
The moment was interrupted by a beeping sound coming from Olivia's purse. Olivia started digging in her purse, "That is really weird cause that has never gone off."
"What is that?"
"It's the beeper for my heart. It's supposed to let me know if somethings irregular."
"Oh my god. Come on."
"No, no, no I'm sure it's…nothings wrong."
"We're going to the hospital right now. Please."
"I'm, I'm going, I'm going."
"Okay."
Walking into the hospital, Olivia's fear had her on edge and she snapped a little at Natalia. "I can walk, stop hovering, okay."
"Stop yelling."
"I'm not yelling."
Rick walked up them. "Hi girls."
Olivia turned to him. "Hi."
Speaking over Olivia who was holding the pager in his face. "I'm fine thanks."
"You can fix this right because I have things to do."
"Yeah."
Olivia thrust it into his hand. "Could you do that for me?"
"Yeah, so, we'll give you a mild sedative. Um, you'll be out for a little while, and uh, it will give us time to see if this things working." Olivia's face filled with fear. "It's like a trip to the dentist. That's it. Exam room number three."
"Fine."
"Okay."
Natalia looked at Oliva, "I'll be right out here.
Entering Olivia's room, Natalia walked to the side of her bed and sat on the stool setting down her purse and coat. She looked at a sleeping Olivia and grabbed her hand. "Okay so I know you think I'm gonna sit here and scold you and tell you not to scare me, but I'm not going to. I'm just gonna sit here and be here for you. Like I always am." Leaning in closer she continued. "I have never had anyone like you, ever. And who would of thought that two people like us could be so close. It makes me happy. You make me happy." Moving some hair out of Olivia's face, Natalia stood and leaned over her. Caressing her hand through her hair and kissing her forehead. She ran her other hand along her jawline cupping her face. Looking at Olivia's lips was too great a temptation. She leant in and placed her lips to Olivia's.
Olivia was startled awake. "What's going on?"
Natalia was still leaning across her. Keeping their faces close together. Smiling at Olivia, "Hi, you're awake."
"Yeah, like sleeping beauty, awoken with a kiss." Olivia responded with a smirk.
"You're not funny."
"Then why are you smiling?"
"Oh, shut up." With that she kissed her again, long and deep and wet. Pulling apart, Natalia sat back down grabbing Olivia's hand again. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine. How are you?"
"Good, really good. Rick said that it was just a problem with the battery, with the thing. And he just fixed it. Just fixed the little thing and it's fine. So you are actually all good."
"Ah good."
"You're good." After the fear of the day Natalia felt she needed to pray and just couldn't wait. The thought of losing Olivia gripped her heart and she needed to speak with God as soon as possible. "Baby, I'm so glad you're okay, but um, I have some errands to run, so I don't know, do you wanna get a cab? Or do you want me to wait? Or?"
Olivia could see something was eating at Natalia so she chose to give her the space she obviously needed. "No, I can get a cab, it's fine.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"Sure." Placing the beeper on the bed side table Natalia stood up to leave. She leant over and kissed Olivia one more time. "I'll see ya later."
"Bye."
Natalia walked out and Olivia stared after her, confused.
Natalia walked to the front of the church and sat at a pew to pray. "Thank you for bringing Olivia and Emma into my life when I really needed them." She let out a breath. "She's the best thing I have ever had and I don't want to lose her. Please God, please help us to always be together." She looked down at her wedding rings from Gus, running her thumb over them and then sliding them off. Taking one last look at them before placing them into her pocket.
Olivia walked into the back of a court room at the court house and found Doris Wolfe. "Your office said I could find you here."
"Ugg, look, I've already moved up Phillips trial date, what more do you want?"
"Someone to talk to."
"Well, you choose the woman you just blackmailed?"
"I never would of." Shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I just honestly don't have anyone else and I, I um, anyone who would really understand."
Doris rose to her feet and leant against the desk, folding her arms across her chest. "What happened?"
"Nothing, nothing, nothing. I just, I think I'm screwing this up."
"Why would you think that?"
"I know this is what I want because of the feelings that I have for Natalia. You know, feelings that I've never had before."
"I know all this."
"I had to go to the hospital today. I had an episode with my heart, and Natalia was there taking care of me, and I think that she might of had some second thoughts."
"Why?"
"Because she took off as soon as I woke up. What if she doesn't want this. Someone who could die at any minute. Someone who doesn't have a very long life expectancy. I can't….without her I don't know who I am anymore."
"Maybe she will leave, and maybe you'll fall apart, or maybe you'll just find a whole new part of who you are."
"I don't want to give up me with her. I like that me."
"Well who says you have to?"
"I realized today that if I lost her I wouldn't be whole, and what about my daughter, I mean how does this effect her? She loves her, and she has been through so much."
"You're just scared."
"Yes I'm scared."
"You need to talk to her. You're afraid Olivia but you're not alone. Everyone's afraid."
"I just think that it's crazy. I'm just acting crazy. And I don't wanna loose her. Listen thank you for talking to me, really." She grabbed her coat and purse and walked out.
Phillip was getting ready to leave Company when Jane walked in with Emma.
Emma saw him and ran to his arms. "Daddy!" He scooped her up and hugged her close. Easing his hold a little she leaned back and smiled at him. "You're tall."
"Am I?"
"Am I gonna be tall too?"
"Maybe. Come here." Setting her down he knelt in front of her. "Let me look at you. I bet you wonder why I've been gone for so long."
"Mommy says you're sick."
"Is that what mommy said? Well she's right. I was. But it wasn't like having the flu or a stomach bug or anything like that. It was kind of like being sick in the heart."
"Mommy got a new heart. I bet you can get one too."
"The cure for my heart is just being here, and seeing you, and helping you if there is anything that you need. Do you need anything?"
"Are you good at multiplication?"
Phillip laughed at the innocence of his daughter. "Keep going. What else do you need?"
"My turn. I wanna help you."
"You do?"
"You're my dad."
"Just seeing you has helped me."
Jane put her hand on Emma's shoulder. "I know we came to get ice cream, um we're running a little late though. We have to go home now."
Phillip gave a look of understanding. He picked Emma up and hugged her tight. "I'm gonna think about you today."
"I'm gonna think about you too. Bye daddy."
"Bye sweetheart."
Jane helped her into her coat and they left.
Olivia walked into the house to Natalia sitting at the kitchen table. Natalia looked up. "How are you?"
"Good."
"I'm sorry to just leave you like that."
"I'm fine, I'm fine. Did you get your errands done?"
"Yeah I talked to anyone I needed to talk to. Did uh, did Rick say anything else?"
"You know what can you say, it's like a smoke detector, you just have to change the batteries every now and again."
Both woman laughed. Natalia looked up from cutting tomatoes. "Are you hungry?"
"Yeah."
"Could you do me a favor? Could you grab me the dill out of the spice draw?"
Handing it to her Olivia notice that Natalia wasn't wearing her wedding rings. "Where are your rings?"
"Well um, that's where I went today."
"I uh, I don't understand."
She motioned to a chair, "Olivia sit down."
"Oookkkaaayyyy?" Pulling out the chair she sat down, looking at Natalia with fear in her eyes.
"Seeing you today, in that hospital bed, I was so scared. I was worried of loosing you…"
"Natalia…."
"No, just listen. I got scared, and I needed to pray. I needed God's reassurance. I didn't want to leave while you were asleep but as soon as you woke up I just…I had this overwhelming feeling to talk with God, so I left and I went to the church." Pausing for a breath, she fought back the tears pricking at the back of her eyes and continued. "I went and I prayed. I thanked him for you and for Emma. I asked him to help me keep this. To help me keep you. And when I was done I looked down and there were my wedding rings and, it just felt like it was time. I loved Gus, I did, but you….God you….are so much more Olivia. You are the love of my life. And I want to move forward with us, and I can't…I can't do that if a part of me is still holding onto the past. So I took them off and I came home and I waited for you."
By now Olivia was crying tears of both relief and joy. She lunged at Natalia, taking her face in her hands and kissing her with all that she had. Kissing her for all that are and all they will be. This kiss was moving forward. This kiss was goodbye to the past. This kiss, was thank you.