Location: Home
Date: June 20th – into June 21st

It didn't work.

I figured I'd help Lyra sneak into her place before sneaking into my own, but the lights were on at her place and two very mad Pokémon were standing in the door. They gestured for us to follow them inside, and Lyra and I kinda looked at each other.

We were caught.

Carracosta yelled at us the moment we entered his home. Nuzleaf tried to calm him down saying it's not as bad as he's making it out to be, but ended up getting yelled at as well. Then Lyra passed out, probably from the nerves. Without her to take her side of things, I was left to face Carracosta's unbridled verbal rage on my own. He yelled at me all night...Nuzleaf and I didn't drag ourselves home until dawn cracked.

When we got home, Nuzleaf told me to just go to bed and we'll talk about it after I wake up. However, I…I didn't move. I couldn't.

Was I wrong? Should I not have accompanied Lyra to the school? Should I not have gotten involved? Is that not what a friend would do? I didn't get it. I did everything right tonight – I was there for a friend and supported her as she faced her fears and we fought to rescue our…rivals from the clutches of danger.

I get why Carracosta was mad. We'd broken the rules and snuck out in the middle of the night when dangerous occurrences were running rampant. We could've gotten hurt. We were lucky to have gotten out of the hairy situation we'd found ourselves in tonight, but neither Carracosta nor Nuzleaf knew that. All they knew was their children were missing and something horrible could've happened and they wouldn't have known. Until we showed up, they must've been out of their minds with worry.

Looks like it wasn't just Lyra facing her worst fears tonight.

Still, I did the right thing in accompanying Lyra. The fear of delving into that place without me by her side might've given her a heart attack. None of us should've fainted from fear last night, yet we did. Can't imagine that was healthy, and I can't imagine it would've been healthier for her to do this alone. We'd agreed we'd be there for each other, so what kind of friend would I be if I backed out on this one?

Even so, I felt my gut lurch as I stood there and Nuzleaf stared at me in confusion. It felt…I was getting choked up, but I was trying so hard not to. Carracosta's words kept ringing in my ears, and I was fighting so hard not to cry. I didn't want to cry because I'm stronger than that. I have to be stronger than that. I can't let a simple scolding from last night's stunt break me down.

Nuzleaf asked if I heard him, but I didn't answer. Even if my nerves allowed me to open my mouth, I wouldn't because I was afraid that I'd break down then and there. I just kept thinking about how I couldn't cry. Not there, not then.

Be strong, Irau. Fight the tears. Fight it. FIGHT IT!

Specific quotes of Carracosta's kept echoing in my head.

"You should've known better! I'd expect this sort of behavior form Lyra, but you? You're smarter than this!"

"What would we have done if anything happened to either of you? Must I remind you that your teacher disappeared? What if that happened to you or Lyra, huh? What then?"

"I allowed you and Lyra to hang out because I expected you to influence her behavior in a positive way, but it looks like she's influencing you instead!"

"If this keeps up, you two won't be allowed to hang out anymore!"

That last one hit really hard. It's true that Lyra and I have been breaking the rules recently in favor of…doing what we think is best, but last night? We weren't ditching class to rescue a Pokémon we believed to be in danger – we were humoring Pancham. Granted, he got himself kidnapped alongside Shelmet and we had to rescue him, but that wasn't how the night started out. And given the nature of the Litwicks and Solosis, Pancham and Shelmet would've been returned unharmed eventually anyway.

There was absolutely no reason for us to have gotten involved last night. We didn't have to sneak out of our homes and go to the school, but we did because we…well, "wanted to" wasn't really correct either. Neither of us wanted to, but we did it anyway.

Now that I think about it…I've done that before. Not with Lyra, but…on day one when I first arrived at Serene Village. I broke Nuzleaf's rule about staying inside and ventured outside. After Lyra had lured me to the plaza (and was subsequently chased off by the other villagers angered by her antics), I'd found out about Goomy needing rescuing in the Foreboding Forest.

A Pokémon was endangered and needed my help, and I wouldn't have known that had I not broken the rules.

The two scenarios were obviously different, but they shared undeniable similarities. Both were initiated by my willingness to break the rules in favor of doing what I wanted. Not what Lyra wanted, not what a potentially dangerous situation demanded of me. What I wanted. Both had me accompanying Lyra to a place in Serene Village where Pancham's antics revealed a Pokémon (or two) in desperate need of rescue. Both scenarios ended with me being scolded by Pokémon I trust…but both resulted in a satisfying conclusion where nobody was hurt.

Suddenly, the waterworks dried up and the choking feeling subsided. I had nothing to be ashamed of, dammit! Carracosta's brutal scolding aside, our adventure had the best possible outcome. Lyra even came out stronger for it! And maybe…maybe Carracosta scolding me was what I needed. Not to learn my lesson or curve my behavior, but to make me tougher. Fighting the Giratina illusion was tough, but it was just like beating on the Poliwrath Brothers, or the Beedrill and Combee, or even Gabite – physically demanding, but not something I could learn or grow from.

Carracosta scolding me, however…well, social interactions aren't my strong suit, and maybe I need to be yelled at more in order to adapt to them. Carracosta's scolding was much worse than Nuzleaf's from day one, and it dug so much deeper into me…but it doesn't have to break me down. It didn't have to ruin our victory from last night. Not if I didn't let it.

Whether him or Nuzleaf realize it or not, we did good tonight. We had to break the rules to do so, but hey. Sometimes the rules need to be broken to do what's right. We still have to take our lumps afterwards…but we sure as hell won't hesitate to do it again. After all, this is the 3rd time I've done it.

Nuzleaf asked me if I was alright. I told him I'm fine, that it was just nerves mixed with exhaustion. I don't think I convinced him, but he let me go off to bed regardless.

I wonder what he's gonna say to me later…here's hoping he's still as understanding as he tried being with Carracosta tonight.

Wish me luck.

Location: Home

Nuzleaf was a little shocked to see me up and about so early after getting an earful last night. He said he hoped I understood Carracosta's just looking out for us and was terribly worried last night after the stunt we pulled. I told him I understood and joked, saying I probably would've done the same thing. He found that mildly amusing, then asked if I regained any of my memories. I told him no, nothing's come back yet. He was disappointed by that, but said that since I've gotten used to the village that I shouldn't be shy about going out there and seeing the world.

Ah, but the stunt we pulled last night was still a "might rotten one", he said. As such, he felt like a proper punishment was in order. Not only was the sleepover cancelled that he'd planned, but…he's going to take my travel journal away for the day. "You rely too much on recordin' your experiences, you won't have no more time for more," he'd said. Still, I think he saw how upset I was because he reassured me that it's just for one day and he promised he wouldn't read a single word in it.

Nuzleaf said he wished I'd left a note last night instead of just sneaking out, like how he'd left a note when he left for a few days without getting the chance to tell me. He said he'd trusted that we were at a close enough level with each other where I could feel comfortable talking to him instead of sneaking off behind his back, or at least where I'd think to leave him a note to reassure him that I was fine and would be back before sunrise. For me to have snuck out last night and for him to have discovered my room was empty…he said that hurt. That hurt so, so much. Did he not warn me about the dangers of children going missing? Did I not promise him I would be extra careful? Then I go and do this…

I apologized, saying I never meant to worry him, and I promised him I wouldn't do that again. Looking back on it, that was pretty rotten of me. He never left me in the dark if he had to leave or if something came up, so I should've shown him the same courtesy. I can't imagine how badly I terrified him last night. Especially after what happened on June 15th – he might've thought I'd run away, despite him apologizing the following night. Jeez…I really didn't think this through. I need to take him into consideration from now on.

Although, looking back on it one of his suspicions had proven unwarranted. He'd told me to steer clear of Watchog and Farfetch'd given how he doubted they were completely the same after their…"ghostly experience". Turns out that they were, in fact, completely the same. The Litwicks and Solosis had simply held Farfetch'd for a time to get maximum scares from him before letting him go. And Watchog…they probably got max scares from him immediately.

Nuzleaf decided to show leniency and allow me time to write this entry before he took the journal. He said he's tickled I'm using it so much, and he never really pegged me as an avid writer. I…didn't really think so much about it before, but yeah. I write a lot. It helps me sort out my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, I'll read back on older entries and it's like I travel back in time to the exact moment I'd been writing the entry. It feels really surreal. He also complimented my neatness with my footprint runes. Of course, my writing is embarrassingly sloppy in my older entries, but I guess my runes are cleaner and more defined now. Practice makes perfect, I suppose.

Anyway, I need to wrap this up – Nuzleaf's getting impatient.