"You want triple the pay?" Hiruzen was aghast, frustrated and probably eager to pass on his title.
"And a two-week paid holiday," Sasuke flatly stated, daring Hiruzen to refuse.
"Yeah, we got you the best damn intel in years," Kushina chimed in, "Employee motivation and all that."
Hiruzen inhaled, probably questioning his life decisions, but in the end, he acquiesced. Kushina got up, rubbing her hands together giddily.
"Sasuke, you coming?" He shook his head.
"I have something to discuss with Hiruzen," she seemed to overlook his blatant disrespect.
With a tired expression, Hiruzen stared at him annoyed.
"I don't want to talk to you right now," Sasuke sent him a taut, irritated smile.
"Good thing I don't care what you want."
Hiruzen perused his stack of papers always on his desk. Did Hokage actually get that much paperwork, or was Hiruzen just incompetent? Sasuke stole a peek.
"You surely have more important things to do than accept or reject civilian requests for government grants."
"It doesn't work that way. I, as the Hokage, must see everything that goes on within the village, in order to maintain it." Yeah, this whole Kage thing was overrated.
"Honestly, you're not that special," Sasuke's voice came out more monotone and brutal than he intended. The insult was reflected in Hiruzen's wrathful eyes.
"I'd like to see you do better," he spat out, barely containing the anger. Well, Sasuke assured himself that he wouldn't completely tarnish the village if he was in charge. He glanced out the window.
"It's not bad, but it's not great. You're a strong ninja, but that's not to say you're a good leader."
His own honesty surprised him, and the calmness in his words surprised Hiruzen as well, who looked torn between accepting this as constructive criticism and tearing Sasuke a new one.
"I was appointed Sandaime by Tobirama-sensei when I was thirteen." Sasuke thought of this as a rather pathetic last-ditch attempt to defend himself.
"I could actually do better. You know why? Because I've been on the receiving end of your shortcomings." Hiruzen didn't anticipate the scathing venom in Sasuke's voice. He noticed that he clenched his fists, and unclenched them reluctantly.
"Anyway," he forced his voice to take on a calmer, more composed tone, "I wanted to discuss the Rinnegan." They both agreed to change the subject, touchy for both of them.
"You want to implant it into yourself, right?" Hiruzen looked down, seemingly gazing at nothing.
"You can't have it," he simply stated. But Sasuke wanted it. He needed to get stronger, until nobody could oppose him. The Rinnegan could make even a civilian ten times stronger. Imagine what it could do to him.
"Who will you give it to? I doubt there's any loyal ninja that can withstand it," because there was a very specific criteria, and he just happened to fit. Hiruzen had to use it, or else Sasuke would pull a sly move and threaten to announce to the world about the Rinnegan, essentially forcing him to transplant it into the only suitable candidate: him.
Hiruzen went pensive, abruptly meeting eyes.
"Tell me the truth about the future and why you disapprove of my being Hokage, and I'll show you where the Rinnegan is." Sasuke tensed, subtly holding a breath and trying to figure out Hiruzen's motives.
"Why would you believe me knowing where it is would be of significance to me, unless you believe I want to steal it?" Nevermind the fact that Hiruzen figured out that he lied.
"I believe you dislike loose ends, and enjoy a sense of control, therefore, you want to know where it is, if only for your self-satisfaction." Well, he was right, and he didn't have much to lose.
"You first." Hiruzen clenched his teeth, but got up and began leading him somewhere. The way resembled the twists and turns of the underground office in Iwagakure, until, just like it, a metal door was the only deadend. It was almost funny how much Konoha resembled Iwagakure. There was even a chakra detector.
Hiruzen began twisting the number sequence on a padlock, until it clicked and the door swung open. The room was almost entirely dark, bar the dim lights.
"Your Hall of Doom, I presume," Sasuke dryly commented, eyeing several valuable-looking things, including the Rinnegan, tightly sealed within a glass container.
"This is where I keep the most powerful objects," Sasuke's ears practically perked up at that. Maybe he should consider 'borrowing' something after all. He walked slowly, perusing and identifying special artifacts. Something about it reminded him of the silly little trinkets he used to collect as a child, only this room had more weight to it.
"Okay, now get out." Hiruzen forcefully ushered him out of the door, slamming it shut and double-locking it this time. Nice to know that he was clearly trusted. Sasuke decided he didn't care and moved to leave the Hokage Tower.
"Wait," Hiruzen abruptly said.
Sasuke glanced at him through the corner of his eye, beckoning him to spit out whatever he wanted to say.
"You said you could do a better job than me," Hiruzen started, flashing a creepy, worrisome smile.
Hiruzen narrowed his eyes delightedly. Sasuke think he knew what was coming.
"Let's test that theory, eh? Meet me in my office tomorrow at this time." Well, a chance to un-fuck up Konoha's shitty system didn't seem awful, but Sasuke wasn't looking forward to whatever peril Hiruzen would surely put him through.
Deciding to leave the issue for later, he Shunshined towards his crumbling apartment (fortunately, all these S-rank missions could literally buy him a new house).
The worst thing about missions was that sometimes, he couldn't shower comfortably in an actual shower instead of a lake for days. Even in a crappy apartment bathroom, Sasuke finally felt at ease while he showered.
It gave him time to mull things over, like how the hell he was going to stop Tobi without hurting Obito, how Iwa somehow summoned his emo ass from the future, how the intelligence and good looks of Minato and Kushina somehow cancelled out with Naruto, who practically invented dumb blonds, and whether parallel universes existed so maybe, there was a smarter, quieter Naruto, a useful not-lovesick Sakura, and a happy, flirty version of him somewhere.
Figuring out the structure of the universe was somewhere on his list of priorities, purely because there was no discernable way how, although the curiosity could've killed him. If he ever became a god, Sasuke figured that screwing with parallel universes (if they exist) just for the fun of it would be a delightful thing to do. For now, he'd stick with saving his clan from the big bad Danzo and winning this war.
Sasuke stared at the fogged up mirror, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at it. He drew a sad face before clearing it up entirely, gazing at his own reflection. Not that he periodically stared at himself, no one was that narcissistic. There was just something strange this time.
It was probably just the fact that he was still sopping wet. His wet hair matted to his face. How long has it been since his arrival? More than six months, so why had his hair not grown at all? Not even an inch. Sasuke eyed the scissors next to him, grabbing them and holding them to a lock of his hair. It's been so long since he last had a haircut, because that wasn't on his list of priorities.
Reluctantly, he snipped at an inch of his hair. It grew back instantly.
What the fuck?