Chapter 38
Olivia had decided to have Emma dropped off at the Beacon after camp so she could talk to her about Rafe. As Emma entered the room she walked passed her mother and straight to the restroom without so much as a hello. Olivia turned to the young girl dropping her off. "Everything okay?"
"Emma had a rough day. I wanted to explain what happened in case she seems not like herself tonight."
"I'm a little surprised. She loves camp."
"I know. She's made so many friends. She participates. I look forward to seeing her every day. And she has three other girls she plays with every day."
"Right. Madilyn, Charlotte, and Nikki."
"Right. Nice group. Well yesterday, they decided they were all going to wear pink t-shirts today…"
"Uh-huh."
"Emma forgot. She got there and she was really upset that all of her friends were wearing pink t-shirts and she wasn't."
"Oh, well I wish somebody would have told me. I would have come over with a pink t-shirt, she has about twenty of them."
"She told me not to call you. She was out of sorts all day."
"About the shirt? I don't really understand. That isn't like Emma."
"You know what it is, kids like to be part of the group. They don't like to be different. Today, Emma felt different. Like she was an outsider. It upset her. I just wanted to let you know. She'll be fine tomorrow."
"Thanks. Thank you." Olivia closed the door behind the girl and exhaled a breath. Her mind began to race. Emma had already dealt with so much in her young life. A pink t-shirt made her feel like an outsider and now…now she and Natalia were ready to let the town know about them and Rafe. She needed to talk to Emma about Rafe, but was now really the time?
Natalia sat down with Blake for lunch at Towers with a stack of books next to her. Even though she wasn't going to work for Blake, she had offered to bounce ideas around with her anyways.
Blake set another book on the stack and looked at Natalia. "This is one of my newest authors. She wrote a book called, 'Only dogs belong on their backs.' It's about dating. I want to give her a lunch in. I want to throw something for her. I just don't know how to promote it."
"Um, well, what about contacting a local animal shelter. You know putting dogs up for adoption, it would be like doing a public service but still getting the name of the book out there."
"Oooo. Natalia, I like that."
"Yeah?"
"That gives us tv coverage, a lot of press, you're a natural at this. No wonder Olivia won't let you go."
"Yeah, we're a little attached." Blake's eyes widened at that statement and Natalia realized what she had said and quickly tried to change the subject. "For press material how about a stand up with the author and one of the homeless dogs?"
"Attached, that sounds like you are very close."
"Mmmhmm. We are."
"You know when I ran into you and Olivia at the spa, there were a lot of rumors circulating." She clapped her hands together with excitement. "Oh my gosh, why didn't I see this before. I cannot believe it. Emma's two mommies are a couple."
"Do you not want my help?" Natalia asked nervously.
"What are you kidding me? No! I want to throw you a lunch in. For you and Olivia."
"Are you serious? You're not shocked? You're not upset?"
"That you chose Olivia over me? A little upset." She said straight faced, then seeing Natalia's faced smiled. "Oh, stop it. Do you know how rare it is to find anybody to love? We're here for a very short time. I gotta tell ya, next time, if I am lucky enough to find that, I am gonna grab it with both hands and I'm gonna scream it to the word. Just like you're gonna do, at our lunch in."
"No, I thought you were joking."
"No, it's perfect. It's the right way to do this. You get it out once, you deal with it, once. Otherwise, people are gonna be whispering about this for weeks, months, maybe years."
"No, I can't believe I'm talking about this right now."
"Yeah, no, you can trust me. Alright, I know what you've heard about me, Blake's a blabber mouth and she can't keep a secret, but I'm a really good friend, and when I say you can trust me, I mean it." She picked up her planner and continued. "Let's pick a date. Like get a tentative date."
"Oh no, I mean it, I can't do that. I really appreciate the offer, but there has got to be another way."
Olivia was pacing slow circles in front of the bathroom door when Emma finally exited. "Hi honey."
"Hi mom."
"Rough day at camp jellybean?"
"Kind of."
"Yeah, come here, hop up here." The two sat on the bed facing each other. "Look I know that you wanna look like all your friends, and be like all your friends, and that's normal, but the most important think Em, is that you are who you are, because that's perfect. Even if that means you might be a little different than others. Different is fine."
"I don't wanna be different. When you're different kids treat you like you're weird."
Olivia lost her nerve to speak with her about Rafe with that one sentence. "What color t-shirt did you want to wear tomorrow, cause I'll put it right here." She asked, pointing to her head.
"Green."
"Green. Green it is. You feel like a snack from downstairs?"
"Yeah."
"Alright go get something."
"Wait, you wanted to talk to about something."
"Um…" She was so uncertain about this talk, especially after the day her little girl had, but now or never she thought.
"Mom?"
"Baby…you know…you know how Rafe hasn't been at the house lately."
"Yeah. He's staying with Frank for a little while. That's what you said. He needs a break. Is he coming home now?" She asked excitedly.
"No. No baby he's not."
"Why? He's been gone a long time. I want him to come home."
"Me too baby."
"Then why isn't he coming home?'
"Well Em, he uh, he's having a little trouble right now…with me and Natalia."
"What about you guys?"
"He's uh, he's not too happy about us. He doesn't think Natalia and I should be together."
"Why? We're a family. Doesn't he want a family?"
"Well…remember how we talked about families and how some are different than others and some people don't like it when two mommies or two daddies are together like a mommy and a daddy?"
"Yeah."
"Well, Rafe is one of those people. He doesn't think his mom should be with another girl. He thinks she should be with a boy. Kind of like you today, it makes him feel different, and he doesn't want to be different."
"Oh." Emma replied sadly. "So, he doesn't want to be my brother?"
"No, no baby." Olivia pulled the little girl into a tight embrace. "It has nothing to do with you Jellybean. He just…he doesn't understand right now. But he will. In time, he will get it." Emma sobbed into her mother's shoulder. "He will always be your big brother. He loves you so much, don't ever forget that." Olivia eased her hold enough to look at the sad face starring back at her. "Emma you listen to me, Rafe loves you with all of his heart. He would do anything for you, he is not mad at you, or Natalia. He's mad at me. He will always, always be your big brother. Okay?"
Emma just nodded and laid back in her mother's arms. Olivia stroked her hair and held back her own tears that were threatening to fall. She hated for her baby girl to be so upset. Silently she cursed Rafe for causing the tears streaking down her Jellybean's face.
Natalia walked into Company with her arms full of books, regretting offering her assistance to Blake at the moment. "Buzz? Do you smell smoke?"
Buzz came out from the kitchen. "It's the stove. At first it doesn't work, now it does but it's too hot it burned the moussaka. Honey I'm sorry. I'll let some fresh air in." he waved his hand in the air and headed back to the kitchen.
Olivia came around the corner and straight to Natalia. "Hey beautiful. I see books. How'd it go?"
"Um, she knows."
"Blake knows?"
"Mmmhmm. You know I was really worried too, but she promised that she would not say anything until we were ready."
"Yeah, sweetheart I think it's gonna be on the eleven o'clock news."
"But it shouldn't matter right? We were never really hiding it. And you had your talk with Emma about Rafe today. So, how'd it go?"
"Well, she was upset. Thinks Rafe doesn't want to be her big brother anymore. She also had a hard day at camp today, so that was no help…"
"Do you think she'll be okay?"
"Yeah, she'll be okay. It might take a little time, but she's gonna be fine."
"Good. Good. Poor Emma."
They moved to sit at a booth. Olivia sat close and took Natalia's hand. "She's gonna be fine. We'll be there for her and, it's gonna be okay."
"Okay."
"I'm a little concerned about this with Blake. I know that we aren't hiding but, I don't want everyone to find out through the town gossip. We decided to just be us and let people see that we aren't so different, and now…"
"I know. Tell one person and they tell…"
"It'll be all over town in a few days. But you know what, even if she does keep her promise, maybe we do just need to get it out there. Without having to justify things to people or explain everything to everybody…." An idea formed in Olivia's mind as she spoke. "What about this, what if we declare our independence, and without speeches, and anything fancy, what if we go to the Bauer bar-b-que?"
"I figured we were. I mean we go everywhere together."
"Yes, but, let's do this together, together, like make no mistakes about it we're together. Is that okay?"
"I would love that."
"It's a date."
"And you know, we'll sit Emma down before the bar-b-que and explain everything."
"We'll sit her down and explain everything together. So, is it settled?"
"Yeah, fourth of July, Independence Day." After the briefest of kisses Natalia excused herself for the restroom. Olivia just smiled to herself, happy to be almost done with the whole 'coming out' process.
Buzz came out of the kitchen hitting his knee. "Ow."
Olivia reached for him. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah.'
"I'm sorry, would you do me a favor and get us a big piece of cake and some ice cream?"
"What's the occasion?"
"I'm happy." She smiled at him. He patted her hand and moved to the kitchen.
In the restroom Natalia was patting water on her face and neck. Slightly worried about getting sick out of the blue. She looked in the mirror and talked to herself. "That was weird."
Buzz came back from the kitchen, setting the cake and ice cream down on the table. "On the house."
"What? Why? Why?" Olivia stuttered.
"Because you look so beautiful…"
"Oh."
"And you look so happy, and it's good for business."
"Thank you."
"Honestly you haven't looked so happy since, you know, since…"
Olivia pointed at him. "You."
"Since me." They both shared a laugh.
Blake approached the pair. "What's so funny? Actually, what stinks Buzz? Did you leave the pizza in the pizza oven again?"
"It's the stove. The door won't shut, it won't turn off, I got this regulator thing coil and I have no idea what…"
"It probably goes on the refrigerator."
"That would explain it."
"Yeah."
Natalia exited the restroom and made her way back to the table. Blake looked at her pale face with concern. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I just got a little sick."
"From the smoke?" Olivia asked, immediately worried for her partner.
"Yeah, I think so. What else could it be?" She sat next to Olivia at the table. Buzz went back to work and Blake went after a glass of water.
Olivia swiped a stray strand of hair from Natalia's face, tucking it behind her ear and left the back of her hand gently on Natalia's cheek. "Did you eat something bad?"
"No."
"No. Well you're not warm, maybe it is just the smoke."
"Or stress."
"Oh, coming out, so to speak. My stomach is in knots."
Blake came back with the water setting it in front of Natalia. "Here you go."
"Thank you.'
Blake looked to Olivia. "I want you to know that Natalia is just the most amazing help."
"I know."
Blake switched her attention to Natalia. "So, you think you'll be feeling well enough to meet with me again this afternoon though?"
"Oh yeah, yeah of course. I just have to stop at home first. I have some cookies and brownies to wrap up for the church. Father Ray's gonna help me pick them up though so, as soon as I'm done with that, I'll be right by."
Olivia placed a hand on her arm. "Don't you think that's kind of over doing it? Just a little bit."
"No. I really think it will make me feel better, you know. Get to the church." She faced Blake again. "So, I'll see you soon." Blake nodded and Natalia rose from the table to leave. Olivia following to walk her to her car.
Once they reached the car Olivia opened the door for her. "Are you sure you're okay honey?"
"Yeah, it was just really smoky in there and with everything going on…"
"Okay. Okay. I get it. I just…I worry about you."
Natalia leaned into Olivia. "I know, I know, and I appreciate that, but I'm okay, really."
Olivia wrapped her arms around her love, bringing their bodies flush together. "Okay, but if you're not feeling better tomorrow, we go to see Dr. Rick."
"Olivia, I'm fine."
"Hey, if it were me we would already be in Rick's office. I'm allowed to take care of you too you know."
Natalia couldn't argue with that. "Fine. If I'm not better tomorrow we'll go."
Olivia kissed her head and smiled to herself. "Good."
Natalia looked up at her, smiling at the care Olivia was showing for her. She wasn't used to having someone take care of her and seeing the concern etched in Olivia's face almost brought tears to her eyes. "I love you. Thanks for being so good to me."
"Of course. I love you Natalia. I will always worry about you and take care of you."
"I know." No more words were said as their lips met in a searing kiss. Natalia pulling Olivia tighter to her. Kissing her hard yet somehow gently too. This kiss was for the utter concern they share for one another. For the way they worry and care for each other. This kiss was everything that defined them and their relationship expressed without words, but instead with feeling, one heart reaching out to the other.