(Caroline's POV)
A week went by absolutely blissfully. My father was gone and tutoring with Mr. Salvatore had been going so well. Also, Elena was making some serious progress with Mr. S. For the first couple days of tutoring she admitted she was scared to make any kind of move, but she took her own advice and started doing things that could be taken either way. Although nothing crazy had happened yet, Elena sensed that with some more time, she could break down any reservations that Mr. S had. So we were in the last week of September and today was a Sunday, the day before my father was coming home. Of course, my mom and I were absolutely dreading it. We had the same conversations we always do when he's away, how we want to escape but just can't because we're tied to him financially. So we just stopped talking about it and tried to enjoy our time together watching movies, cooking dinner, and going out.
During this previous week, Stefan and I had definitely gotten closer. I'd catch him looking over to me fondly during class, which I'd respond to by smiling sweetly at him. I wanted to play totally innocent but at the same time flirt with him so he would know I have a crush on him. Throughout the week we only had tutoring every other day, but tomorrow I was going to ask him if we could have it every day, even if it's only for an hour. Anything to stay out of the house for longer. Mostly we'd just do homework and look at materials I'd study in college depending on what career I'd go for. It was actually very helpful in my decision-making.
Monday morning Elena came to pick me up. School went by as usual and during break, I told her about my plan to increase the number of tutoring days. She thought it was a great idea since she was already seeing Damon every day. But that made more sense since she was horrible at math. I debated asking him after science class but I figured I could ask him during my free period since, like his brother, he had the same one as Elena and me. So at the start of the fifth period, I happily sent Elena off to Mr. S's office while I sauntered over to his brother's. The door was open and I peered in, "Mr. Salvatore?" I walked in and closed the door. He looked up from his desk, he seemed to be grading papers.
"Hi, Caroline, what's up?" God, I'm obsessed with this man, every little thing he does just makes me crazy. I walked over in front of his desk, "I was wondering if I could ask you a favor?" In his chair, he pushed a bit back from his desk and looked concerned. "What's the favor?" I ended up pulling a chair in front of his desk and sitting down. I pulled my arms around me, "Well, I was wondering, if it's okay with you if we can have our tutoring sessions every day, even if it's just for an hour. And of course, if you're busy any day we don't have to, and if you want to stick to every other day that is totally fine too."
He seemed to think for a moment, "Why the sudden change? I thought our original schedule was going well." I looked up at him and tried to be reassuring, "It is! It's going more than well, it's just. See… I'm going to…" This was hard to say, "Okay how about this," I took a deep breath. "My father goes on business trips that usually last a week, and he does that twice a month. Sometimes it's every other week, sometimes it's two weeks in a row. When he's not home, I'm more than okay with our original plan. Hell, we can do the sessions during this free period if that's okay. But when he is home is when I'd like to do more frequent sessions." He just looked at me, at a loss for words. "I understand…" he started. He seemed to struggle with his next statement, "Is there a particular reason you like staying out of the house when your father is home?" My face went ghostly white and only flashes of the pure terror he imposed on my mother and me played through my head.
But I had to remember to keep my cool, "It's just so he and my mom can have more alone time since he's gone so much," I pulled out of my ass. He furrowed his brow, again he seemed conflicted. "I see…" was he buying it? Did I want him to? Did he see this as a cry for help? I didn't need any help. Because there was nothing anyone could do. "That plan works for me Caroline," he said which made me let out a huge deep breath. My face lit up again and I smiled to myself. I stood up from my chair and he stood up as well. Without thinking I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him, giving him a huge hug. "Thank you so much, Mr. Salvatore," I said breathing into his chest. I could tell he looked over to the door, which I had closed.
He hesitantly hugged me back and I could feel my body getting warmer and my heart beating faster. "It's no problem," he said, then patted my back. He was the first one to break us apart. I blushed and walked over to the door, "I'll see you in the library after school." He didn't say a word, just nodded, and seemed completely out of it.
During gym Elena and I reconvened so we could tell each other what happened during our free periods. Elena told me how she and Mr. S are totally flirty recently but how it never goes too far. Just laughing and touching and stares that feel like they could turn into kisses. I was absolutely shocked! She told me she's just going with the flow and whatever happens, she's ready for it. I had to give her props. Then I told her what happened between Stefan and me and how I know he feels conflicted. It's written all over his face whenever we talk. Elena and I decided to leave the gym early, Principal M walked in so she was totally distracted anyway. We got dressed, said our goodbyes then she walked to her car, promising to pick me up tomorrow morning.
I decided to stop by Rebekah's office, I missed her. I walked into her office, "Rebekah!" I announced happily. She smiled at me, got up from her desk then walked over to give me a hug. "I feel like it's been forever since we caught up," she said. It had been quite a while. I'd pop in every few days for minor chit chat but we hadn't really caught up in a while. "What's new with you?" she asked. "Well, Mr. Salvatore has been tutoring me recently which has been really great. I'm out of the house more and he's really helpful." She held my hand, "That's great, Caroline I'm very happy for you." I just smiled and nodded. "And how cute is he!" she nodded which made my eyes go wide. "Cause you're talking about the younger one, right? I mean both are dreamy but he is so adorable it's absolutely ridiculous."
I tried to not show my shock and absolute horror. I laughed it off, "Oh my goodness Rebekah!" "But come on, how cute of a couple would we be?" It felt as if my brain was malfunctioning. "That would definitely be something," I managed to get out. She just giggled again. We tossed some pleasantries back and forth then I finally left for tutoring. I felt as if I was on autopilot for the rest of the conversation but I don't think she noticed at all. She was so wrapped up in what she was saying, which was totally fine. I just couldn't bear to think about Stefan with another woman. The thought made me feel as if I was going crazy. Like my blood was boiling and I could pass out at any time. I tried to shake all those feelings away, it was just girl talk.
When I got to the library I walked into the usual silent study room where Stefan and I had tutoring. There were only three rooms all next to each other and we were in the last one closest to the back of the library. There were random tables where people could sit but it was mostly just rows of books. I walked in and Mr. Salvatore could tell something was wrong, it was written all over my face. The conversation with Miss M just threw me for a loop, "Are you okay Caroline?" Every time he said my name it gave me goosebumps. I shook it off, "Yeah, sorry I'm just a little distracted." He just politely smiled and we went on with our usual tutoring session, this time just lasting an hour. It went by so quickly.
He was about to tell me our schedule for the week so we both went to grab our pens which were right next to each other on the table. Our hands lightly hit one another's and our knuckles brushed against each other. I sucked in my breath which he obviously heard. We locked eyes with our hands still resting against one another's while they rested on the table. Do something! I internally screamed at myself. I traced my index finger over him, not breaking eye contact.
Then I grabbed my pen and looked down towards my agenda. I felt like I was shaking, I wanted to scream. Did I really just do that? He didn't even back away. He just cleared his throat, "Let's go over this week's plan then we'll be all done." He tried to sound serious and professional which made me furrow my brow. When we stood up he seemed uncomfortable, "I can't give you a ride today," he tried to sound as nice as possible. "Oh that's okay, my mom can pick me up. Usually, she can every day so I'll tell you in advance if one day she can't." He just tightly smiled and nodded, "Well, see you tomorrow in class." I nodded, "Yeah, thanks again," I took a moment, "Stefan." We shared a moment of eye contact before going our separate ways.
I don't think I heard a single word my mom said during the drive home. I was just so shaken at what was happening in my life. Like what the fuck was happening? Stefan seems so conflicted. The rest of the week went by normally. It was the usual mixture of dread for my fathers' inevitable return home. But also pure adrenaline and excitement for Elena and I's plan. At lunch, she came up with a devious scheme for her and Damon's next tutoring session. "So sometimes we use the whiteboard to solve really long problems…" she started.
I gave her my undivided attention, she was completely insane but I absolutely loved her for it. She'd definitely gotten more comfortable with our asinine plan. She continued, "I'm thinking once we get up to use the whiteboard I pretend to trip right into his arms! He'll just have to catch me," she ended with a wink. I snorted, "That is insanely cheesy! He'll for sure know it's fake." She rolled her eyes, "No he won't, he'll be too occupied thinking about how great I feel pressed up against him and how cute I am looking up to him "thanks Mr. S," she said mockingly which made me laugh.
So my favorite time finally came around, after school. I went to the bathroom really quickly to check how I looked. I had dark blue flare jeans on, white sneakers, with a black lacy tank top, and an oversized black zip-up hoodie. I had my hair in a claw clip with some strands hanging in front of my face. I looked totally cute! I walked into our usual room and Stefan was already sitting down looking somewhat uncomfortable as always. Is it because he likes me but feels weird about it? I could tell that today in class he was trying to avoid eye contact with me. Tutoring started out totally normal but the time started to really fly by. Stefan and I will usually go off on tangents where we'll just talk normally. It'll feel so much more like two people and not a student and teacher.
But today was different, he was so tense. But towards the end he seemed to loosen up, "I was thinking I could give you a sneak peek into a problem that'll be on the Unit test next week." My eyebrows raised and he laughed, "So it won't be this exact problem but it'll definitely be something like it." "Okay awesome!" I said smiling. I just stared at him as he wrote the problem on the board. I gulped as I looked him up and down, he was so fucking hot it was ridiculous. After he was done he stepped back and let me look at it. I was still sitting at the table so I got up to grab the pen from him. As I was standing up and reaching for the marker in his hand my foot got caught behind the stupid leg of the chair. I yelped some stupid yelp and fell right into him causing him to fall back as well.
So there we were. His back on the ground and me right on top of him, and the stupid marker flew right across the room. I could feel my boobs practically falling out of my tank top and the strands of my hair were almost touching his face. But we were frozen, neither of us jumped up to move. "I'm so sorry Mr. Salvatore, my foot got caught behind the stupid leg of the chair," he just gulped, "Please call me Stefan." I felt as if my eyes were sparkling. "I'm so sorry, Stefan… did I hurt you?" My eyes widened, "Oh my goodness, am I hurting you?!" I readied myself to get off of him as gracefully as I could, but he swiftly grabbed my wrist. I sucked in a breath and we kept this intense eye contact for what seemed like forever. I saw him gulp, he released my wrist and rested his hand on my thigh. I moved so both of my legs were straddling him and I felt him adjust underneath me. Holy shit this is really happening.
I moved my hands up his chest and rested them there. It's now or never, if he hasn't freaked out and gotten up yet that means he wants this, right? He closed his eyes for a moment then once more our gazes were locked with one another's. Fuck it. I looked at his lips, back at his eyes than his lips again. I went for it. I leaned my head down and kissed him. It took him a second to kiss me back, but when he did I felt as if I could drop dead right there. The butterflies that were in my stomach traveled everywhere in my body. One of my hands roamed up into his hair and lightly grabbed a handful and I moaned his name as we kissed. He grabbed both of my thighs tighter then moved his hands up to my waist. When he pulled me closer I took the hand that was in his hair and moved it down towards his belt. When I pulled on it, he freaked out. His eyes went wide and he pushed me off of him. It took me a second to gather myself. When I stood up I just looked at him, his hand was covering his mouth.
He looked like he was in complete shock, "We shouldn't have done that," he stated which made me step closer to him. He immediately backed away. "I can lose my job, I can get arrested for what just happened," he started to say, which made me want to calm him down. "I won't tell anyone!" Well except for Elena. "Plus I turn 18 over Christmas break." He ran his hands through his hair, "What the fuck is happening right now," he was totally flipping out. I stepped towards him, "Stefan-" I started which made him back away.
"No Caroline, we can't do this, this can't be happening." My shoulders lowered, my face looked defeated. Why was he being like this? "I'm so sorry, I overstepped a boundary, this is completely my fault," he continued which made me furrow my brow. "You didn't overstep anything I promise, I…" I wanted to tell him that I liked him. That I wanted this to happen but I couldn't. He stepped towards me, "Caroline, you're a very sweet girl. But this can never happen. It shouldn't happen. I think it'd be best if we stopped this after-school tutoring." He seemed to struggle with the last sentence, "I don't want to be alone with you. We can't."
It was like a dagger to the heart. But I couldn't process it. I couldn't let him see me cry. Even though I wanted to so badly. I hurriedly threw all my belongings into my backpack. He just stood there frozen. Before I left the room I looked at him, our eye contact was unbearable. "I don't understand," was all I could piece together before leaving the room. There was something between us. I knew it. I felt it. There would be times when it was like we were just two people getting to know each other and enjoying each other's company. I knew he felt it too. Like I'm turning 18 in a couple of months! I know being his student isn't good… But whatever! If there's something more between us then we should at least have the chance to figure it out.