A week passed since they sealed the second Niibi and announced their time travelling asses to the world. Yugito seemed to have developed a temporary anemia as a side effect, but she was otherwise alright. She was voraciously chugging down kale smoothies and scarfing down green stuff in hopes to counteract the iron deficiency.
Sasuke skipped down to the basement, where four Sarutobi hostages sat, their mouths gagged and every limb tied up.
"Good news, bastards," he spoke with a psychotic kind of joy, "You're going home!" As expected, none of them could react happily.
He tugged on their shirt collars, holding two men's collars in one hand each and effortlessly dragging them upstairs. Yugito and Mito stared blankly. Before the men spotted Mito and recognised her as an Uzumaki, Yugito shoved her out of sight.
"You're going to send them back, right?"
"Yeah, I'll be back in a couple of hours," he nodded, dragging the four men out the door.
"Should I come with you?" Yugito glanced at Mito, determining that she'd be fine. He shook his head. Bringing her along may just aggravate the Sarutobi even more.
Sasuke glanced at the four men and decided he didn't care whether the Shunshin would hurt them or not.
He knocked on the Sarutobi compound's front door, waiting for someone to answer. He tapped his foot impatiently until a maid answered.
"How may I- oh God!" The maid covered her mouth in shock when she spotted the four men he was dragging. Sasuke kicked them towards her.
"Sarutobi Sasuke should know to never bother me again. Tell him he's welcome." With that, he disappeared.
Mito packed up her stuff, getting ready to leave. She turned to Yugito, smiling.
"Thanks for letting me stay for a bit. I enjoyed it." She embraced her briefly.
"Sure," she replied, patting her head affectionately.
Yugito paused. Mito had fun with her kidnappers. There was something a little sad in that.
"Sorry," she murmured, feeling obligated to apologise. Mito probably didn't have a very nice life with the Uzumaki, considering they seemed to be treating her like a bargaining chip.
"What for?" Mito asked, though she might've known.
"Your clan wants you to marry a dude you've never met, and they honestly kinda treat you like shit." It was probably because Yugito was from the future where women didn't have to get married, but she couldn't fathom forced marriages like this one.
"It's whatever," Mito shrugged.
"Besides," she giggled cheekily, "I went through your Bingo Book earlier and honestly, Hashirama is kinda hot."
"If you're into bowl cuts," Sasuke barged in suddenly, overlooking Mito.
"Are you done packing?" He asked impatiently. She nodded. They bid Yugito goodbye before heading off for Uzushiogakure.
"Just act like we've been horrible to you, yeah?" Sasuke tied Mito up extravagantly as they stalked off into the woods, barely twenty miles away. She let him with minimal protest.
"How am I going to walk?" She deadpanned.
"Kidnappers don't usually give their hostages that much leeway," he said, heaving her over his shoulder.
"Last time, they gave me a chocolate sundae and let me walk," Mito shot him an affronted look. Sasuke was about to retort snarkily before her face scrunched up in confusion.
"I sense hostile chakra signatures," she muttered, her eyes widening.
Sasuke rolled his eyes frustratedly.
"Great. How far away?" He asked, though he never got to hear the answer because immediately after having asked that, Sasuke blacked out.
He groaned, stirring half-consciously. His limbs and torso were tied to a tree, bound with thick, unrelenting rope. Sweat and fresh blood matted to his head, giving him a rather slick hairstyle. There was so discernable injury, so his healing schtick worked while he was unconscious.
Cursing his own stupidity, Sasuke tugged against the ropes to no avail. Chakra suppressors pressed to his skin - seals - resembling cool tattoos. They were weak, and could be burst in roughly ten minutes. That is, if Sasuke could survive the next ten minutes.
About twenty Senju collectively glared at him, brandishing their ugly kunai. He made out Hashirama towards the back. He spotted Mito in the corner, who pretended to be traumatised. At least her acting skills were more than subpar. She seemed to believe he could get out of this unscathed. Not that the Senju were super powerful or anything.
Regardless, his top priority was to stall as much as he could until the suppressors were destroyed. Sasuke chipped away at the suppressors, beginning the tedious process while forcing his brain to multitask and act docile and defeated.
A Senju - Sasuke supposed this was their designated interrogator - paced in front of him with a knife, trying and failing to look intimidating.
"So, Sasuke," he murmured, emphasising his name, "You've caused a great deal of turmoil, having materialised from nothing."
The man sharply turned to him, pointing his knife scarily close to Sasuke's throat. He was unfazed, knowing he wouldn't be killed until they had their answers.
"Why did you kidnap Uzumaki Mito?" Ugh. He expected that question, and did not prepare a fool-proof lie for that one.
Mito seemed to eye him from several metres away, gauging his answer. So Sasuke settled for the truth.
"I needed her to seal something. She did, so I was trying to return her." The man's intimidating expression lessened.
"What did you seal? Why would you return her?" Judging by the Senju's smug expressions, they really thought they were intimidating enough to get Sasuke to spill actual secrets.
"I sealed a cat. It was...an experiment," he lied seamlessly. The best lies held a grain of truth to them. "As for why I'd return her, because I don't want to waste money keeping her alive when she's useless." That wasn't a lie.
This elicited surprise, especially from Hashirama, who he was closely watching. It was sort of intriguing how the man disguised his skills and tried to blend in, though that'd change very soon.
"Why did you not kill her when her purpose ceased?" Sasuke could tell this was more of a rhetorical question.
"Because we're not all assholes, dumbass," Sasuke was taking a risk to see if riling them up bought him an extra minute or so, because he just needed a bit more time to break the suppressors.
The man glanced at Mito.
"Is this true?" She immediately nodded. The Senju glanced at him again, probably wondering what to do: aka how to kill him most painfully.
"Where is the other one?" A Senju asked, probably in reference to Yugito. He pretended to not know who they meant.
"The blonde girl," the interrogator snapped.
"Why would I know?"
"You mean you're not allied with her?" He pointed his knife at Sasuke.
"I will neither confirm nor deny," Sasuke felt the chakra suppressors overloading, about to burst.
They broke. With his chakra free, Sasuke sliced the ropes and rose, briefly stretching his muscles as the Senju watched in confusion.
"You're all a bunch of idiots," he commented, massaging his chafed wrists. To their credit, the Senju made no attempt to engage, probably understanding that they'd get their arses kicked.
In his peripheral vision, Mito latched onto Hashirama's arm, probably having sensed that Hashirama would spring into action immediately if Sasuke attempted to incite a skirmish. Sasuke wanted to avoid a skirmish, however, so he performed Shunshin and flashed away.
Yugito sipped on her tea, making notes and citations when Sasuke burst through the door.
"That was quick," she stated, slightly startled.
"The Senju knocked me out. They'll probably return Mito." He grabbed a crumpet, shoving it into his mouth and searching for a good book.
"I think I might go for a stroll," Yugito finished her tea, "I'll be back in an hour."
"Alright. Have fun," he absently said, turning the page.
Roughly an hour into Dracula, there was a...something best described as a 'shift in the atmosphere'. Sasuke's book closed. He glanced around his surroundings in bewilderment, trying to pinpoint the oddity. There was an ominous knock on the door.
He didn't open the door. The person outside picked the lock. Sasuke dismissed this gesture: any ninja worth their salt could do that. A ninja stepped in. Their face was thickly veiled by a mask - the cheap kind you could buy at a kids' store, or a supermarket.
"Who the fuck are you?" Sasuke rudely asked, though he had an inkling. Their body was androgynous, so Sasuke couldn't accurately make out their gender. They walked with an exuberant, lively gait, albeit it seemed more villainous than charming and friendly.
"Hello! You know why I'm here, don't you? I love pizza," they commented. Sasuke determined that chakra was pushed into their vocal cords so their voice came out discordant and so clearly fake. They wanted their gender to remain a secret. Sasuke's little announcement worked.
He refrained from flashing his Sharingan and posing himself as a threat. So he was right. Somebody was a time-traveller (or something else that Sasuke dreaded to consider). And they weren't going to tell him who they were.
"Alright. What do you want?" Sasuke demanded, crossing his arms and tensing.
"Nothing much," they shrugged teasingly. This was irritating. Sasuke mentally prepped himself for a fight.
"I just felt like you needed to know that you're not the only one," they murmured, rubbing the back of their head in mock sheepishness. Sasuke couldn't see the smirk behind the mask, but he was sure it was there.
Sasuke decided to take a risk. He lunged, quick as lightning, toppling the masked ninja to the floor. They were evidently quite surprised. He straddled them, pinning them to the floor. He needed some sort of answer.
"Whoa," they mock gasped beneath him, "You're pretty strong. It almost makes up for your lack of awareness."
"You know me," Sasuke bluntly stated. This person knew who he was, beyond his name and face. If they knew who he was, there was a chance he knew them. The curiosity was torturous.
His Sharingan flashed. Fuck. He recognised this chakra. He released the masked ninja warily, cursing. Simultaneously, they removed their mask.
Of all the billions of people in the world, why did it have to be...?