Note: First of all, I'm sorry. It was just too tempting lol. Y'all make me laugh tbh. Second of all...enjoy!
Naruto smiled at him goofily.
"What the fuck?" Was all Sasuke could say. Naruto kept smiling annoyingly.
"Are you surprised? Hehe, I actually surprised you for once!" This wasn't the Naruto he knew, definitely not.
This Naruto dyed his hair, for one. It was still lemon-coloured and annoyingly bright, but red at the tips (Sasuke would never admit that it looked kinda cool). Secondly, this Naruto acted playful, which made him almost intimidating, like the kind of person that took absolutely nothing seriously and joked while murdering someone. Sasuke was positive this was not the Naruto he knew.
"Dimensions," he muttered, since that was the only plausible explanation. He'd been entertaining this possibility for a while. Suddenly, a lot of the stuff that Naruto said made sense, like when he called Sasuke unaware.
"Ding, ding. We have a winner!" Naruto tapped his foot, his smile not even wavering. It was creepy how someone could smile for this long.
Naruto stalked over to the table where Yugito's notes sat.
"Though, I think your friend was onto something. Ugh, I hate mathematical people." He set down the notes in irritation.
"What do you want?" Sasuke demanded. He watched Naruto's antics, and was getting increasingly impatient. With the newfound discovery of parallel universes/dimensions, that opened up the concept of various time travellers frolicking around in places they shouldn't be.
Or maybe it wasn't time travel, but dimension hopping or something. Sasuke contemplated time travel, and ruled it incredibly difficult: instead, turning back time seemed more plausible. Dimension hopping was even more likely. This whole time, he may have been traversing into different dimensions, not times.
He pushed away the implications of that for later, because Naruto's expression turned serious, suggesting that maybe this guy had a serious side after all.
"I need something from you," he flatly stated, a hint of desperation seeping into his voice, "But don't ask me what, because I'm not telling you. But you and what's-her-name are useful to me."
"That seems rather counter-intuitive," Sasuke withheld himself from gulping in anticipation. Either this Naruto was being a dickhead, or something serious was going on, something on the universal level, something that this guy didn't trust him with. Naruto hopped onto the couch, reading Yugito's notes.
"I'll tell you when the other one comes back," he set them down, cringeing.
Like magic, the door swung open to reveal a mildly drunk Yugito. Her gaze was immediately fixated on Naruto.
"Who the fuck are you?" They both asked in unison. Naruto patted the seat on the couch next to him, motioning for her to sit down. She did, as far away from him as possible.
"Naruto," he announced.
"Yugito," she muttered reluctantly. Judging by the way they were glaring at each other, Sasuke could tell that they would not get along.
"I'm from another dimension," Naruto declared, "But you were already considering the possibility of parallel universes, so don't be too shocked."
"Okay," Naruto waved dismissively, continuing, "So, did you know I can dimension hop? I'm even willing to prove it."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. So this Naruto had the ability to traverse parallel universes, which meant that he'd no doubt get up to mischief. Sasuke should be getting paid for the amount of shit he had to deal with.
"Good for you. What's it got to do with us?" Yugito sarcastically asked. Apparently, the alcohol made her a bit more blunt than usual.
"You're an evil bitch, Yugito," Naruto said, smiling widely. He turned to Sasuke with a creepy, sinister look in his eye.
"How do you feel about going on a little adventure?" He patted Yugito's head, purposely messing up her hair, indicating that the question extended to her.
"Not really, I honestly just want to relax for a bit," Yugito replied, ignoring the 'bitch' comment. She was annoyingly used to it.
"That was rhetorical, dumbass," Naruto lazily sprawled out onto the sofa, putting his feet on Yugito's lap.
She recoiled in disgust, swatting the feet away. Sasuke watched the two with a hint of amusement, but mostly curiosity. This Naruto was so different to the Naruto he knew that he felt weird even referring to him as 'Naruto'. He assumed the 'little adventure' Naruto was referring to was another dimension or something. That was just splendid.
"Naruto, are you still a Jinchuuriki?" He wanted to ascertain whether that aspect of this Naruto was the same or if things could vary that much from dimension to dimension. Yugito wasn't surprised at all.
"Haha. Not anymore," Naruto bluntly stated, apparently refusing to go into any detail whatsoever. For some reason, this Naruto was not a Jinchuuriki anymore. Sasuke was under the impression that Jinchuuriki always remained so.
"Don't get too happy though," he winked, "I've got something even better than the Kyuubi. The old fox never cooperated anyway. It just weighed me down."
Naruto seemed to know just what to say and how much to say to ensure maximum creepy and ominousness. Yugito bit back a retort - she had gotten a bit attached to the Niibi, so she got annoyed whenever someone referred to a Bijuu as an 'it'.
"Anyway," Naruto grinned creepily, "That's enough blabber." He snapped his fingers, and everything flashed white.
It didn't hurt this time. Sasuke felt his body detaching itself from the outside world in an ephemeral way. A few seconds later, he was standing next to Naruto, who was in turn right next to a body of water. Sasuke assumed that Naruto had some efficient way of dimension hopping. Where was Yugito?
She was gracelessly dropped into the water, creating a giant splash. Yugito hauled herself out, spitting out salty water.
"You did that on purpose," she glared at Naruto. He whistled, amused. For some reason, Naruto did not like Yugito. Sasuke would have to figure out why later.
"Where are we?" Sasuke asked, glancing around. It didn't look too different.
"Alternate reality," Naruto replied. Then, as an afterthought, he added 'duh'.
"What kind?" Yugito asked, expecting another insult from Naruto.
"Dunno," he shrugged, smirking. Naruto stalked off in some direction, waiting for Sasuke and Yugito to follow.
"Let's go find out. Maybe it's one where you're not ugly," he teased, chuckling. He was a complete asshole. And a liar.
He walked into Konoha, pretending to be a tourist. The ninja at the gate made notes, asking a few questions monotonously.
"What is your relationship to these two?" He gestured to Sasuke and Yugito.
"Girlfriend," Naruto wrapped an arm around Yugito's waist. She plastered a smile, no doubt fuming on the inside. He pointed to Sasuke.
"Brother." The ninja squinted, eyes flitting from Sasuke to Yugito repeatedly.
"You're travelling with your brother and your girlfriend?" The ninja failed to keep the judgy expression off his face, probably thinking of something scandalous.
"He looks nothing like you," the ninja commented, writing it down.
"Yeah, I know," Naruto replied casually, arm still glued onto Yugito's waist. "I'm way better-looking. He's adopted." Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto was the king of bullshitting his way out of security. That trait will always remain the same among Narutos.
They strolled through the gates of Konoha. Yugito pried Naruto's grip off her waist.
"It must suck to have such an ugly girlfriend," she sarcastically commented. Naruto shrugged, squinting at her curiously.
"I don't know. You're a solid 4, Yugito. With the right lighting and angle, three pounds of makeup, and a shit ton of photoshop." Yugito barely stopped herself from smacking this guy.
"But," Naruto continued, "You make my exes look like overgrown gorillas, so that bumps you up to a 5.5." That almost sounded like a weird compliment. Naruto and Yugito kept bickering like children while Sasuke kept quiet, a little bit amused. They were like a rip-off version of Spongebob and Patrick. While they squabbled, Naruto walked off into a restaurant, Yugito absently following. Although, Sasuke couldn't let Naruto's comment slip.
"You have exes?" That was strange. Naruto shouldn't have been able to get a single girlfriend, let alone exes. Things really were different.
"Of course," Naruto exuberantly declared, wiggling his fingers and starting to count. "There's Sakura, Himiko, Aiko, Ino, Haku, Nana, Tenten, Hiyori, Hinata, forgot some, Fuu, Temari, Ririka, Tsuyu-"
"You're a fuckboy," Yugito interrupted, almost shocked. Naruto literally didn't have any fingers left. Sasuke didn't recognise most of the names, but the ones that he did, he didn't care enough about them. It might've revealed something though, probably unintentionally.
Before Sasuke could ask, the waitress came over, greeting them politely and asked for an order. With their orders taken, she smiled and left.
"You habitually like to travel across dimensions and date, right? There's no way Ino would date you if she knew you broke up with Sakura." Sasuke asked. There was something suspicious going on, like the fact that Naruto travelled that many times. He was a serial dimension hopper, which was bizarre. Sasuke's implicit question was 'why the hell are you going to different dimensions and picking up girls?'. He doubted an answer.
Naruto seemed impressed at the deduction.
"Maybe I ought to shut up," he muttered, letting Yugito's 'thank god' slip by. The waitress handed them several plates of food, setting them down with another polite smile.
Just as Naruto held the ramen to his mouth, Yugito knocked him to the side and stole his bite. It happened so suddenly that Sasuke barely registered it. She chewed, contemplating.
"Poisoned," she whispered. Luckily for them, it was the kind of poison you had to eat a lot of to feel the effect of it. Sasuke immediately pushed his food away.
Yugito grabbed a newspaper nearby, skimming through it.
"Where the fuck are we?" Yugito asked Naruto, glaring down at him. She tapped the date on the newspaper. Sasuke cursed. Apparently, they were far, far into the future: further than even Sasuke's original present. Like, a hundred years far.
"I told you, I don't know. It's futuristic, I guess. I just picked a random dimension," He rolled his eyes, pouting. "Now, get off me. You're practically on my lap."
"Shut up," Sasuke said, before they'd no doubt start bickering again. And also because the whole restaurant had fixated their creepy gazes on them. Naruto and Yugito seemed to realise that everything was completely quiet. The people didn't move or blink, like statues. Suddenly, Sasuke felt a sting on the back of his head, and he was out.
Sasuke groaned, his eyes fluttering open to a dingy cell. His head pounded, but when he tried to rub it, he found his arms tightly restrained by handcuffs. Chakra suppressors - strong, virtually unbreakable ones this time - littered his skin.
Wriggling towards an unconscious Naruto, he lightly kicked him to wake him up. Naruto stirred.
"Oops." Sasuke felt his irritation rising. 'Oops' was all Naruto said. If he didn't have to conserve his energy, Sasuke would have yelled at him.
"You moron," Sasuke venomously spat out. "You better know how to get out of here." Naruto grinned, ear to ear, still absolutely nonchalant. Sasuke had never wanted to punch someone this much.
"Chill, Sasuke," Naruto said in a sing-song tone, "I can get out of here dead quick." At that, Sasuke nearly sighed in relief.
"It'll just take an hour," he added. Sasuke wasn't bothered enough to argue anymore.
"Fine. Hurry up," he settled for staring at the wall in agony while Naruto tried to chip away at the suppressors, "And where's Yugito?"
"Where do you think? She's a girl, and a Jinchuuriki. Obviously, she's in a place that's far, far worse." Naruto said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
For around an hour, dead silence hung in the air. Naruto's grin widened, just as the cell door unlatched. It swung open. Naruto was almost saddened.
"Hey," Yugito proclaimed, brandishing the keys. She smirked, mostly at Naruto.