Location: I have no idea. Look, I'm not even in the mood to write after what just happened, but...I don't wanna leave this section of our adventure blank. So, I'll dig deep and summon enough motivation to explain what happened after the last entry. Um...please pardon the lack of enthusiasm during certain parts.
Krookodile started approaching us immediately, and I won't lie...I started panicking. I mean, I know Eris and I theorized that he wasn't the one turning folks to stone, but Lyra started panicking and then I started panicking and then...and then...
Two fierce-looking Pokémon dropped in outta nowhere. They shouted that they finally found the culprit who turned Entei to stone and identified themselves as Suicune the Gale and Raikou the Lightning. They came to avenge him.
Seeing them arrive to fight on behalf of their petrified friend was kinda cool, I guess. I was certainly hyped. Lyra remarked how unexpected this escalation was, but it was certainly welcomed. Least we didn't have to fight the menace by ourselves. Archen said something about those two share a connection with Entei on the Connection Orb, so it made sense that they wanted to be there to honor their friend.
Nuzleaf and Archen said this could be our chance to break the barrier while they're distracted. I mean...they weren't wrong. We wouldn't have to worry about being turned to stone once we had the Luminous Water. Lyra joined the other two in shouting at me, their eyes desperate and angry at my inaction.
I...ghuck...for cr...what!? What did they want me to DO!? I didn't know how to break it!
Krookodile suddenly walked past the two menacing legendaries and straight towards us. He was gutsy, I'll give him that. Oh, but I heard him mumble something about "this wasn't part of the deal". I wanted to bring that up with everyone, but they were all shouting at me and telling me to do something before it was too late. We won't be able to come back from turning to stone if we don't get that spring water.
I got that, but I had a seriously bad feeling about this. If they would all just listen to me for a moment-
"Irau, don't let us down now!"
"What are you doing kid!?"
"Consarn it, just smash it!"
"He's getting closer!"
"Don't just sit there!"
"Git yer hide into gear!"
Aaaauuugh, their voices melded into loud screaming. I was sitting and lifted my front legs to where my ears would've been on my head and tried to block out the noise. Their voices weren't the only ones shouting at me. I heard unfamiliar voices shouting in my head, though I couldn't discern if they were from scum memories or my own self-hatred.
Why aren't you doing anything? It's not hard, Irau! You brought this upon yourself! Just do it! How stupid are you? Why can't you do this one single thing for me!? You're so useless! Stupid child! This is all your fault!
I started hyperventilating. The world around me faded away to gray nothingness. Their words floated around me as black text, but there were so many of them that they filled the gray and made it a black void. There was an intolerably loud high-pitched noise and...and then I...
"There! I broke the damn barrier! It's gone! Are you fucking happy now!?"
I opened my eyes and the world around me returned. A loud whooshing noise drew my attention to the barrier...or rather, where the barrier used to be. A light-blue pillar of light was emitting from the spring. The light spread across the ground too, but then the light pillar shrunk and vanished. Only the spring remained. All was quiet.
I...what? I looked back at the others. Lyra and Archen were staring at me in horror and concern. I rose an eyebrow at them and Lyra glanced past me. I followed her gaze and...oh. Two of my vines were extended really far, the middle section dipped in the spring, and the ends all knotted and wrinkled in a sad heap on the other side.
I...smashed the barrier...using...my vines. They were extended way beyond normal. Like...wow. I didn't think I had that much vine length in two buds on my neck. Was I seriously that upset? I began trembling as I slowly retracted them, and Lyra said she never saw me do that before.
Hm? Do what?
She said I grabbed an old log and hurled it into the barrier. She nodded at the mossy log pressed against one of the trees to the left of the spring. I...did I really do that? Where did that surge of power even come from? My neck wasn't even sore! And that shout...I...I wasn't...It was my mouth forming the words and my voice shouting it, but I wasn't...in control...
Lyra could see I was upset, and she pressed her face into my neck. I whimpered and wrapped the loose vines around her. I tried saying that I didn't mean to do that, but my voice was all broken and quivering and I just...I was so, so upset that I couldn't do anything but stammer and...ugh...what a mess. I can't lose control like that again. That was...that was fucking terrifying.
No, beyond terrifying. That was...I mean...ugh. Look, we all know what it feels like to have control over our bodies, right? You're letting your eyes read these words as I'm writing them. That is a conscious choice you are making. When we lose control over our bodies, it's...it's natural to be psyched out and paranoid once you regain control.
...
I'm rambling. Sorry about that. Back to what happened on Revelation Mountain.
I heard talking behind us and when I turned to look, Archen looked defensive. Was Krookodile still trying to fight us? We smashed the barrier and had the Luminous Water.
We win. You lose.
Krookodile looked utterly confused. He wasn't here for the stupid water or any of that nonsense. He just wanted his money.
"We had a deal! I dropped those warnings, just like you asked. I came all the way out here today...again, just like you asked. Didn't I hold up my part of the bargain, Nuzleaf?"
...
What?
As if a huge weight was just lifted off his shoulders, Nuzleaf's posture changed. He looked far more relaxed, and even let out a long sigh of relief that bubbled into malicious laughter at the end.
"Ohhhhohoho, yes! Finally! It's broken! The barrier's broken!"
He let out a high-pitched laugh that echoed throughout the area and sent chills down my spine. As he laughed, he fell backwards and landed on his back.
"Nothin' can stop us now! I've waited for this moment for so long! Seriously, none o' you understand how good this feels!"
He was lifted up onto his feet by some sorta...dark shadow magic thing that enveloped his body. He then sighed contently and gave Krookodile a wicked grin. He said he done good and reckoned he earned his reward. That dark shadow magic gathered above his head and he hurled a ball of the stuff at Krookodile, turning him to stone.
Yeesh. I still remember how floored I was. My exact thoughts at the time:
I gh...d...I f...WHAT!? I'm not following this at all! What's happening!? The one...the one who's been...
He...he confessed to it. He actually confirmed...that he's been the one who...
I started hyperventilating, saying, "I think I'm gonna be sick..."
Nuzleaf turned to me with that awful smile still plastered to his dumb face. He said he felt bad tricking me this whole time. He said it all started when I lost my memories. Oh, do you, you sick bastard? Do you feel bad for tricking me? Are you in terrible writhing pain? That fucking smile on your face REALLY emphasizes how bad you feel!
Before he could say more, Raikou and Suicune prepared to fight him and Archen and Lyra surrounded him. Archen told me to get to the Luminous Water while they kept him busy, but then...!
Then a fucking terrifying bird creature thing appeared in a black and red portal thing from the ground! It was mostly red with black lines etched across its body. It said its name was Yveltal.
I think my stomach turned again. Before I could say anything else, Yveltal shouted something about us giving them all our energy. Next thing I knew, the area was full of that dark magic stuff and it was suddenly extremely hard to breathe...then everything went black.
You're welcome for that recap, by the way. Coulda easily just decided to be lazy and start the entry off here. Oh, the things I do for my own future self...and whoever I decide to let read this.
So, here we are. Some hellish, purple-themed wasteland. Gotta say, the leaders of this place really know how to decorate. They went all out when they put in the purple/beige cobble floor. My favorite. Oh, look over there. Dark purple/gray jagged boulders fencing the area in. Beautiful. Delightful. 10/10. Almost compliments the fucking terrifying blood red or hot pink sky. Light blue doesn't seem so ugly of a sky color anymore.
The moment my eyes opened, I severely wished they hadn't. I wished I swam in pitch blackness, an empty void where I didn't have to see or feel anything ever again.
Again.
What a funny word. Meaning another time, or once more. Repetition. How about a few sentences to get a better understanding of the word?
A stepparent has betrayed my trust again. I'm lying on the floor questioning if I truly did the right thing after horrible consequences befell me again. I don't know what to think or feel again. I feel hurt and confused angry and so...so tired of the pain again. The room is turning black and spinning slowly above me again.
I tried getting up, but...ugh. My legs feel too heavy. They collapsed under me and I decided to just sprawl them out like I did at home the day after Nuzleaf scolded me.
Ahhh...there it is. There's the scum memory I didn't want. It's invading my memories again. Hey, it's the Caucasian pink apron lady again. This time, I can see that her hair is long, curly, and blonde. Kinda like the kid from before, but...no, this lady's hair is more of a dirty blonde. Still can't see her face though. Oh, look at that. She's brandishing a rolling pin and smacking me in the face with it, except the pin explodes into dust and reforms when it's pulled back.
I didn't flinch. I knew she wasn't real. I just...stayed on the ground, looking down at the rubble. She'll go away eventually.
I was so close. I was so close to finally having a father I could trust. I still don't have all my memories, but something came back when that dark magical crap washed over me. I remembered that...sometime in my life, I was moved around from foster family to foster family. No matter where I went or who I was with, it never felt like home.
This was different. Nuzleaf seemed like a legit father. That house we lived in felt like home. Lyra's the same way. She feels like a legit sister. No matter where I go, it feels like home if I'm with her. And even though I haven't known her as long, Eris is very much the same. All three of them made me understand what home felt like.
Nuzleaf's betrayal is the equivalent of a wrecking ball demolishing our home. Now I'm just lying under the rubble, asking myself if it was even worth it to crawl back out.
Is this what it's like to lose a friend? To lose someone close to you?
I feel like I've done this so many times. I've laid in the rubble of destroyed familial ties before, but this? It's not the same. Before it stung when I was betrayed by my "family". This...feels so much worse than a sting. It feels like a pair of hands reaching in and ripping me apart from the inside.
Maybe it feels worse this time because I...I really enjoy living in this world. The Pokémon world. No humans, no trainers, no...no orphanages or foster families. From the moment Nuzleaf brought me to Serene Village, I was having a great time. Sure, there were ups and downs, but even during the downs it didn't take long to go back up. You can tell when you read some of the first entries I ever wrote – I sound so young and bushy-tailed. Enthused. Excited.
Nuzleaf betraying me...it still doesn't feel real. It feels like a human act that doesn't belong naturally in this world. The longer I spent getting to know everyone and learning to love this place, the worse it felt when he turned on me. My little fantasy world of non-human interaction was crushed by the reality that betrayal isn't limited to humans. In that sense, maybe it would've been better to stay in the village. The betrayal might not have been as painful.
I looked over in time for Lyra to sit to the right of me and lean backwards so her head landed on my back. Heh. If she's gonna betray me someday, apparently using me as a pillow is one of the first signs. But...unless the universe is truly as cruel as it feels, I don't think that's gonna happen.
I told her that we never should've left the village.
She said that we left to chase her dream and lure away the Pokémon stalking me. We never would've met Ampharos, Dedenne, Swirlix, Mawile, Buizel, Bunnelby, Archen, Jirachi, or Eris. Staying in the village would have left us with fewer allies and experiences. I might not have learned I can use my vines.
I told her how I felt. How much this betrayal hurt, and why I thought it was worse than the others.
"Nah. This betrayal would've devastated you even if we hadn't left the village. Your other betrayals came from scummy folks that you expected to betray you, even though you hated being right. Who knew Nuzleaf was gonna betray us? I don't think any psychic-types woulda seen that coming."
Well, I shoulda seen it coming. My instincts made me wary of Nuzleaf back when I had my nightmare and when he scolded me, but I didn't understand why. I wanted to believe that they were wrong. Nuzleaf was so genuine and sincere...so unlike the people I'd been afraid of. Even now, when I think back on him mercilessly beating our hay beds with a stick because I'd had a nightmare, I see a father. I can't comprehend that he's the same sinister being that delightfully turned Krookodile to stone. I know Lyra said it's not my fault, but it really is. I should've seen this coming. I should've done something to stop it, but what else is new? I'm always messing things up. Typical Irau.
I don't have the senses of a full Pokémon, or the maturity of a full human. No matter which form I take, I'm incomplete. Simply by talking, I make things worse. I stutter, I mumble, I waste everyone's time...if I'm not harshly judging everyone while stewing in my silence. All I ever wanted was to bring a little light into the world. Make someone's life better. Not just for them, but for myself. So, I can prove that I can make a difference in the world. So, I can p...prove to myself...that I'm not a blob of wasted life.
Lyra said that I made her life better. I laughed at that. Look where that got us.
"We would've ended up here anyway. Except we might've been alone had you not become my friend. At least this way, we have each other."
I'd rather she didn't get dragged into my mess at all. If there was a portal back home and only one person could enter, I'd wrap her up in my vines and chuck her through.
"And leave you to wander this wasteland by yourself? I don't think so. I'd sooner toss a rock through the portal to force it shut. We came to this world together, and that's how we'll leave it. Besides, it's not your fault things turned out this way."
It's not? That's news to me. Feels like all I do is surround myself with people who betray me. If I'm made to suffer like this, surely I must be at fault. Maybe I did something that I can't remember and deserve every ounce of pain I feel.
"Now that's just silly." Lyra giggled softly. "Just because you hate yourself, that doesn't mean you deserve to be in pain."
I froze at that statement. I've...wow. I don't think anyone's ever called me out on my self-hatred before. I mean, it's not bad to acknowledge it, but to hear Lyra so blatantly talk about it as casually as yesterday's rain...
"It's not your fault that people betrayed you. They're the ones who decided to hurt you. I can't speak for human Irau, but Chikorita Irau always tried to be a good person. She didn't do anything wrong, and she didn't deserve to be betrayed by her father. She's so selfless and awesome...she always put others before herself. Why do you think she came with me to Lively Town?"
I kinda wish her head wasn't resting on my back so she could see the expressions her words pulled my face into. Even so, I turned my head to the right and rose an eyebrow at her little torso and feet.
"You beat yourself up way too much when you really don't need to. You're awesome, Irau. You're the only one who can't see that. I wish I could make you see what I see. Your younger self had nobody on her side, just like my younger self, right? Don't you wish you could go back in time and give her a big hug? Promise her that everything will be okay?"
Hm...she had a point. I told her that when I gave advice to Eris about reuniting with her friend, I envisioned her as my younger self to make it easier. In addition, Eris does the same thing if she needs to give advice to me.
"You see? That's a good first step, green bean. Forgiving younger you enough to give her advice instead of resenting her for the mistakes she made. You can go a little further by remembering to love her during times like these. Little steps, y'know?"
She makes it sound so easy. Don't know if I can meet her expectations, but...I'll try.
Green bean. That's her pet name for me, huh? Heh...then my pet name for her will be...star. She rose an eyebrow at that. Was I being serious? Of course. She twinkles and shines like my own little star. She's my Lyra Star.
I guess we'll have to get moving sooner or later. I groaned as I pushed myself up into a sitting position. My movement forced Lyra to sit up, and she stretched after hopping to her feet.
"Yeah...things aren't looking too good right now. But don't you worry, okay? We were both turned to stone, but we're still together. Even Nuzleaf's awful schemes can't tear apart the Evergreens. Now then, let's go make the Mystery Dungeon up ahead our bitch."
Pfft. Okay, that's the first time I ever heard Lyra cuss and it made me smile. I hate that I smiled at that. I'm not in a smiley mood. How dare that little bird make me smile.
I...okay. If I'm being honest, I don't wanna explore the Mystery Dungeons here. I'm still kinda bummed about what just happened, but...I don't wanna let her down either. But at the same time...fuck it. Laying on the ground stewing in misery ain't gonna solve a damn thing.
Shine on, Lyra Star. Guide me through the shit.