I felt Lyra feebly shaking me and crying over my body. She was begging me to wake up, to not leave her there alone. I groaned and mumbled a curse as I came to and rubbed my face. Yeesh, being stabbed in the neck fucking sucked. Wish I learned that human's name so I knew who to cuss out. Also, being this high in the air for this long was most definitely taking a serious toll on my health. If we were gonna beat this thing, we needed to do it fast.

However, almost immediately after I got my bearings, I heard that cursed multivoice laughter erupt from the floating wrecking ball. Least it didn't have that stupid shadow appendage suppressing me anymore.

"You see!" it bellowed. "Your world is as deserving of eradication as this one! You've experienced that hate and malice firsthand! You must see that this is the only way. This isn't just what the universe wants, it's what every world wants! The darkness within the hearts of everyone, human and Pokémon alike, is enough to destroy the very beings it originated from! You cannot stop the inevitable!"

It took me a bit to realize that Dark Matter thought my memories had been restored. It sent me to Ozu to regain them, after all. If it realized its efforts had been fruitless...

Heh. Well, I decided to play along.

Lyra was trying to find her words, but I pressed a vine against her beak. I then got up, walked over to Dark Matter, and sat in front of it.

It's right.

Lyra's eyes bugged out and she yelled my name.

No, Lyra. Dark Matter's right. Why, I forgot just how truly awful the world is. I can say for certain that the world is in fact a harsh, putrid, cruel, irredeemable piece of tragic waste. I feel lesser just for having lived in it.

Lyra's eyes fell to the ground. She looked so forlorn, and Dark Matter was just reveling in my agreeable attitude. From an outsider's perspective, you can clearly tell I had no idea what I was talking about. I wasn't adding anything to the conversation or saying why the world was horrible, I was just saying the same thing over and over again.

"Exactly! That's why this world needs to be obliterated! Join me, Irau! We can destroy this world together!"

...

"Fuck no."

"Then let us be- what? 'No'!? I'm giving you the chance to get revenge on a world that thoroughly wronged you!"

"What a tragic misunderstanding between us, Dark Matter. When I was talking mad shit on the world, I was referring to my world. The world I came from. Now...this world, on the other hand, is a total delight. It's sunshine and lollipops and Skitties eating the fuck out of homemade 'Pecha Berry stone' cookies. It has been far more kind to me than any single moment I experienced in my world."

Even with Nuzleaf's betrayal and Dark Matter's emergence and all the tragic or unpleasant bullshit that occurred since my arrival here, I've experienced SO many good things, met SO many good people, and gotten SO much good advice that helped me face and fight my past traumas. I've learned things that I don't think my human-self learned, and I feel like a better person after meeting her.

See, even though my memories weren't fully restored, I still knew enough of my past to know that the world I came from was irredeemable through my scum memories and the human from Ozu. That human was a physical representation of who I was before my life here. She was overly critical, harsh, and thoroughly unpleasant. It was safe to assume that my old world wasn't worth returning to if that's who I used to be.

Does this world have flaws? Yes. Can it feel irredeemable sometimes? Absolutely. But even so, I don't think anything bad that happened here would result in a single scum memory like the bad things from my world. Dear Arceus, I have so many memories from that world I'd rather remained erased instead of uncovered...but this world? Ha! I'd gladly toss my scum memories back to the human in Ozu if it meant I could make room for more memories here!

The fact that horrible Pokémon like Cold Snap can get away with destroying lives like in Citruse is horrible, but even a flaw like that doesn't make me wanna see this world destroyed. It makes me wanna defend it. It makes me wanna fight Pokémon like Cold Snap!

I love this world and, unfortunately for Dark Matter, I'm not about to let everything come to an end just because a little darkness festered in the hearts of folks while I wasn't here. This world is a piece of garbage sometimes, but it's MY garbage. And anyone who fucks with my garbage can expect to get fucked right back. However, there's another side to this whole debacle that Dark Matter clearly didn't think through.

Even if I did take it up on its offer to destroy this world...then what? Okay, so the Tree of Life gets engulfed by the sun and the planet eventually follows, and everything gets destroyed and returned to the void and it's all very tragic and awful and cataclysmic and ultimate catharsis for anyone who ever wanted revenge on the world...except it's not.

While this world ceases to exist, MY world doesn't!

Those horrible things I went through will persist with other victims and war will rage on and people will continue to be awful towards each other...in a different world. Nothing will change. Dark Matter may never get the chance to emerge in a world more deplorable than this one, and ultimately this world will just be a tragic memory for the powers that be.

Ultimately, Dark Matter's whole scheme accomplishes fucking nothing. All it does is wipe out this world, the good world, while ignoring my world, the bad world. It truly is tragic. Had it made its offer while we were in my world, I would've been more tempted to say yes. However, I'm not that dumb either. Didn't we establish that you should never accept a deal from Dark Matter?

So, fuck you. Get the fuck out of my world, you stupid fucking overpowered bowling ball.

I turned to Lyra and told her we should wrap this up so we could go home. She stared at me in amazement at first, but then shook it off and stood by my side, eager to fight.

"I-Irau's right! This world is imperfect, but we're still not gonna let you destroy it, Dark Matter! It's our world, not yours!"

Hell yeah! I felt so fucking pumped up that I felt something pulsate. I...Lyra and I both looked down at our scarves and we saw a faint light pulsate! When we looked up at the mural, we saw it pulsate for a second as well!

...HA! OUR WORLD ISN'T DEAD YET, FUCKFACE!

Dark Matter howled in anger as we began attacking it. It called us everything from foolish children to specks of cosmic dust incomparably tiny to the rest of the universe. We didn't care. We threw everything we had at it. And what a tough fucking battle that was! In addition to having difficulty breathing, we ate through most of our Reviver Seeds and Oran Berries, had to use one Max Elixir because my Ancient Power move only has 11 PP, and had a blast, pun fully intended, throwing Blast Seeds.

As we were eating through our inventory, I was getting nervous. What if we didn't have enough items to do this?

Well, fuck it all! We'd throw everything we had at Dark Matter, even if we resorted to using our basic attacks! So long as our bodies were moving and able to fight, we'd give it everything we had! Frankly, I was prepared to die fighting Dark Matter if needs be. I'm not going back to that crap heap of a world while this one gets obliterated. No. This is my home. I was gonna fucking die defending it if needs be.

...

Luckily, it didn't come to that. It took forever, but we started cracking the iron ball-like casing around it and exposing the red core again!

Feeling more hyped up than ever, we attacked and attacked until finally! Finally! The stupid barrier shattered completely, leaving only a few tiny chunks of it floating in the air around Dark Matter's red core.

Oh. My. Arceus! What an arduous battle! Seriously, have you ever had to fight an overpowered superbeing as a toddler with severe asthma? Count yourself lucky because that's basically what we did. The fact that neither of us collapsed was a miracle. The slight Tree of Life pulsation did nothing to alleviate the breathing difficulty, so...yeah. Not fun.

Lyra and I exchanged glances. We knew what had to be done, and I charged forward to attack the core. However, Dark Matter asked me if I was sure I wanted to do it, distracting me.

It said to look at all of creation. "Things like you will only do it again."

Things like us? We're not things, we're living beings. Anyway, Dark Matter monologued about how history would repeat itself if we struck it down then and there. The fragments of its body, the negativity, would scatter everywhere and take root around the world. Eventually, it will grow larger and stronger than it was now, and Dark Matter would inevitably return.

"I am Dark Matter. I have always been. I will always be. I can never be extinguished. And...then there's you, human. For centuries, you have felt my presence. My influence. Before you lost your memories, you knew I existed. We never met in this life, but you knew. You understand the depths of my anger and my pain, but you fought me all the same. You resisted my call in your world as easily as you did in this one. Why? Why fight it?"

Why...?

Hmm. At the time, I stared at the ground as I pondered its question. It wasn't like I remembered that...well, no. I remember that feeling. It wasn't too different from the hopelessness I felt after Nuzleaf betrayed me, or the pain I felt when Yemer was forced to turn against us.

No...I knew what feeling it was talking about. That stuck in a bottomless tar pit feeling, unable to claw your way to the surface no matter how hard you tried. Eris hit the nail on the head when she described me before in entry #126.

"A depressed pessimist who wants so badly to believe in a future she doesn't think exists."

That's what Dark Matter was talking about. That's how I felt its influence back in my world.

...

Why fight it? No matter how much I think about it, only one answer comes to mind: It's my choice.

Giving up doesn't fix anything. It might seem easier, but it's not. The dark things that made me depressed and pessimistic still happened. I can't change that...but I can change how they affect me.

My scum memories do not define me. They do not control me. They do not have to keep hurting me, and I will not let them mold me into the same people that created them.

I choose to fight because no matter what any world does to me, I deserve to live. I deserve to experience everything this life has to offer, and if it's going to fight me every step of the way...put 'em up, bitch. I'm not afraid of you.

Back to what Dark Matter said about not fully defeating it...that gave me a good amount of pause. From the sounds of it, we'd only be continuing the cycle. It wouldn't be our problem now, but future Pokémon...not to mention I apparently fought this thing in a previous life, so chances were good I'd return to my world and be summoned here again in another life. Only the fight would be even worse.

So...what then? What were we supposed to do? Doing nothing wasn't an option because the planet would get engulfed by the sun. We...we were at an impasse.

"If you strike me down here and now...if you break my body into pieces...you will be the ones responsible for my return. Is that a responsibility you want? Could you bear that guilt?"

Before I could ponder the problem further, Lyra shouted out, "No problem!"

!

LYRA! You can't just blurt that out! Are you nuts!?

Dark Matter was as flabbergasted as I was, asking if she would truly still strike it down.

"You bet your silly sphere I would!"

This girl, I swear to Arceus...

She said that she finally understood. As I said before, horrible things will continue to happen in other worlds even if this one perishes. That means the negativity that makes up Dark Matter is simply a part of all worlds, right? It's not exclusive to this world alone. No matter what world we're a part of, someone is going to be horrible to someone else.

However, negativity isn't the only thing that makes us who we are.

"When you really think about it, everyone who we consider 'good' has done something horrible at some point. Remember the start of our adventure when I accidentally left Goomy behind in a Mystery Dungeon and argued with you about it later? And everyone who we consider 'bad' has done something good at some point. Remember how happy you were when Pancham swallowed his pride and apologized after we rescued Budew? Or how the legendary trio helped us escape from the Voidlands?"

Her point was, anyone could be good or bad but that doesn't define who they are - that's just one side. Whether someone's behavior is good, bad, silly, evil, depressed, joyful, upset, angry...those are just sides of who we are. The negative things shouldn't be fought against just because they're unpleasant. They should be accepted.

I mean...shit, she had a point. One could argue that me getting angry over a scumlord doing something redeemable is a horrible thing, but that doesn't define me. Nobody's a one dimensional character.

Lyra then turned directly to Dark Matter and said that she accepts it. Ahaha! She made it all flustered. Shame it didn't have a face. I couldn't imagine how red that sucker woulda been.

"What are you saying!? I am the darkness within your heart! I am negativity itself!"

Lyra laughed at its reaction as well and reiterated how that's a part of us. Dark Matter belongs here with us! It doesn't need to be eradicated. It needs to be accepted!

"And I...accept you!" Lyra shouted before running forward and headbutting the core.

The headbutt echoed throughout the area before dissolving into silence.

Nobody said a word. Dark Matter continued to float nonchalantly. Lyra stared at it. I stared at it.

We all waited.

...

...?

...

Nothing happened.

...That's it? That was your plan? Shouting how much you accept Dark Matter and bopping it with your head?

"Well, no, I was sort of expecting it to shatter from that." Lyra was a little sheepish as she drew designs in the nonexistent dirt on the floor. "I mean, the core's exposed and everything, so one good hit would be enough to break it, right? Maybe I missed a step-"

Dark Matter suddenly exploded into tiny sparkles that quickly dissolved into nothingness. I heard Lyra huff a loud sigh of relief.

"Oh. There we are. Just needed a little time."

Well, that was fortunate. Could you imagine what Dark Matter would've said if it just kept floating there after your big dramatic speech and attack? How awkward would that have been?

"Let's just be grateful we didn't have to find out, yeah? I mean, I know it wasn't my most graceful of attacks, but I put a lot of heart into that speech and I think it compensated for-oof!"

Our discussion was cut off from a white light washing over us and knocking us unconscious.