Merry Christmas from China :)

If jesus really exists and has a twitter account, he would probably receive a few billion "happy birthday" notifs lmao

Does Eragon is squib?

"Hello Mr. Eragon!" The golden trio were walking to their history class when Hermione saw the new caretaker polishing a set of amor. Like Filch, Eragon chose to adopt a plain brown robe, though he carried if off much better. The pointed ears that were revealed a few days ago still inadvertently attracts everyone's attention, though Harry suspected that some students use the ears as a cover to stare openly at the caretaker's face instead.

"Hello." Eragon nods back politely before moving back to his armor.

"Wow, rude much?" Ron whisper as they turned around the corridor.

Hermione bats Ron indignantly, "Don't say that! He probably just doesn't know me."

Or maybe he's avoiding us because of all the chaos that we create. Harry thinks to himself.

Ron mumbles something under his breaths, before suddenly changing the topic, "Actually, seeing Mr. Eragon reminds me of something that Ginny said."

Harry snorts, "What, another rumor?"

Ron looks at him in shock, "How did you know?"

"Wait, really?" Harry blinks, before his face morphs into an expression of exasperation. "We just ended the house-elf rumor. 4 days ago. The week isn't even over. How in the Merlin's beard are the students so nosy?"

"You do realize that you're also a student, right?" Hermione rolls her eyes to Harry. "If there really is another rumor about the caretaker, it either came out of the Slytherins or Mr. Eragon's fanclub."

"The Slytherins?" Harry asks before the realization came to him. Such pureblooded wizards would never accept a half-elf wizard. He can almost guess which students would want to dig up every last piece of blackmail-worthy information on the caretaker.

"I'm sorry, a fanclub?" Ron looks at Hermione incredulously. Hermione reddens slightly before nodding, "The bloody caretaker has a fan club?"

"Well," Harry hastily stops Ron from going into a rant. "What's the rumor?"

Ron, successfully distracted, looks around cautiously before talking in a hushed voice, "Do you think Mr. Eragon is a squib?"

"What?" Harry internally laughs. The caretaker was nothing like Filch.

"Why do you think so? Isn't he part house-elf?" After the reveal of the caretaker's heritage the students treat him either like a complete freak, or just love him even more. The pointed ears do add quite the exotic touch.

Ron looks at him with a raised eyebrow, "Have you seen any wizard cleaning by hand before?"

Harry and Hermione both paused to consider that. As muggles, that was perfectly normal. But thinking from the wizard side...

"Well, maybe he likes cleaning?" Hermione said.

Ron turns to Hermione with an incredulous look, "Why would anyone like cleaning?"

Harry couldn't help but agree.

It seems that the similar curiosity of the strange combination of the new caretaker with a mop has spread around the castle. With the part-elf identity already in the air, the possibility that he just might also be a squib doesn't seem that unbelievable, and has now successfully distracted most students from their schoolwork again.

"A mop?" Malfoy's snort was unconcealed, as Harry tried to focus on the potion in front of him. It's a highly volatile one, and it's already on the verge of failing. "What kind of unruly wizard keep such plebian objects around them?"

Crabbe and Goyle sniggered, and Harry thought that Pansy Parkinson looks both disgusted and disappointed for the caretaker.

"I heard that the caretaker is actually a squib." Malfoy continues, "Would explain why he's being such a pathetic embarrassment, just like that Filch. Honestly, what was that old coot even thinking, inviting house-elf squibs into the scho-"

At that moment, Harry's potion emits a loud 'poof' in the most spectacular fashion, and he groans. He knew he should've added another pinch of powdered Ashwinder scales before stirring. Waving the fog away from his face, he turns to Malfoy's sneering face.

"Just shut your bloody mouth, will you?" Harry snaps. "Are you jealous that you don't have a fanclub when the house-elf squib does?"

Everyone else, who were listening in, inhales sharply. The Gryffindors coughs in a weak attempt to hide their laughter, while the Slytherins glare at them with anger and silent awkwardness.

"This is a classroom, Potter!" Snape, being biased as usual, swoops in. "5 points from Gryffindor, and detention if you say another word."

Harry glares at Snape for a few seconds, Hermione looking at him with alarm. but was smart enough to know that it wasn't worth it, and turns his silent anger to disposing the failed potion.

Few minutes later, a light knock on the entrance door catches a few glances.

"Professor Snape." The voice was undoubtedly Mr. Eragon's. Harry didn't even have to turn his head. One look at some of the students and it was clear enough.

The caretaker hands Snape a piece of parchment. "Professor Sprout requires these ingredients with utmost urgency."

Snape scans the content on the parchment before nodding curtly.

"Come with m-" He seems to change his mind. "Keep an eye on these children. I'll be back in a minute." He leaves the classroom, and the caretaker steps in.

Everyone took a collective moment on staring at him. Some out of adoration, some out of disdain. "Well? Stare at your potion, not me." Eragon raises his eyebrows, which seems to break the staring charm, as students turn back to their work, albeit reluctantly.

"Mr. Eragon." Malfoy's sneer was evident. "How did you manage to come here? Did you escape from your master?"

"Mr. Malfoy," Mr. Eragon frowns slightly, "Please pay attention to your potion."

"You shouldn't talk to me like that." Harry resists the urge to hex at Malfoy's leer. "Wait till I find out your master and inform him of your etiquette issues."

"Your potion, Mr. Malfoy."

"Don't order me what to do, squib slave!"

A small gasp slips out of Hermione's throat, and Harry throws down his knife, prepared to hex out Malfoy's mouth.

Mr. Eragon's eyes narrows slightly, "Well, that's not very nice to say, Mr. Malfoy."

Then Draco's cauldron promptly exploded.

In a shower much even more spectacular than Harry's, the green potion erupted out of the cauldron like a fountain and drops its entire content onto Malfoy's head. Pansy, who was his partner, screamed in an equally spectacular fashion. Fortunately and unfortunately, the neon green liquid dribbling down the Slytherin's blond hair the potion they were brewing seems to be harmless.

Harry really wished that Colin was here.

"Oh dear. Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?" Eragon asked in concern, his hands reaching out with a cloth to wipe off the potion.

Malfoy slaps away the caretaker's hands, his eyes wide in mortified anger, "H-How dare you use that thing on my face?"

"I may not be a professor, but I am still your elder. Some respect would be much appreciated." Mr. Eragon admonished, taking out a mop from somewhere and begins to wipe the spilled liquid on the floor. "I will report your etiquette issue to Professor Snape- And also, it's perfectly clean."

At this moment, Snape swoops back into the classroom, a small container in his hands.

"Eragon." The caretaker-where did the mop go? Harry thought - takes the container and pockets it. "I thank in Professor Sprout's advance." The Slytherin professor grunts in return, before noticing the new hairstyle that Malfoy just adopted.

"I thought I mentioned for you to look after them." Snape said disapprovingly, then proceeds to draws out his wand and vanish the mess.

"My apologies, Professor." The caretaker looked very genuine, but Harry didn't believe it. "I did try to help, but Mr. Malfoy refused."

"He was putting that rag on my face!" Malfoy said with disgust. Snape turned to Mr. Eragon, who was stepping out of the classroom, shrugs.

"Oh, my. Professor Sprout must be waiting for me." The caretaker ignores the stare from Snape and takes another step out, before disappearing from the doorway.

Snape takes another look at Malfoy, before turning to the class. "Don't stare at me, stare at your potion." And everything was back to its usual pace, save for the increased whispering.

Ron leans over to Harry and whispers, "You think that was an accident?"

Harry shrugs and looks at a group of giggling students, who somehow were managing to giggle while look absolutely murderous towards Malfoy at the same time, "Perhaps. But his fanclub won't think so."