To KoalaWho: It's not all going to be with Adrien and Marinette. Sabrina is the POV character for every chapter, but each chapter is a different "vignette," some of which are counseling and some of which are other events. Marinette really did have her eyes opened when Sabrina went rogue: she had been so focused on herself and her own frustrations and guilt that she had forgotten just how much Sabrina had gone through – and with very little previous experience.
Sabrina was sitting in the rehab center's counseling room, reading one of the last required books for her last class from the spring term, when the door creaked quietly open. The moment the door moved, there was a flash of violet, and Nooroo out of the small bowl of grapes sitting on the circular table in front of Sabrina, phasing through the tabletop and vanishing into the purse sitting at Sabrina's feet. Sabrina cocked her head; she had checked the schedule that morning, and her next appointment wasn't until after lunch. As the door slowly opened, she released a slow breath, stretching out with her emotions toward the hallway outside and searching for the person at the door. A swirl of emotions caught her attention in the doorway – anxiety and embarrassment, along with something that resonated in her mind with familiarity, though she couldn't quite place it. Whoever it was continued to hesitate outside, and Sabrina sighed. "The door is open!" she called cheerily, rising to her feet and shutting her book, keeping one finger in it to mark her page.
"Are–are you sure?" a vaguely-familiar voice responded. "I don't want to interrupt…"
Sabrina cocked her head. "No, it's alright," she answered, starting toward the door. "You can come in."
Finally, the door opened, and a petite woman almost ten years older than Sabrina and dressed professionally stood in the doorway, looking at her nervously. Despite her makeup, the bags beneath her eyes stood out, along with the tension in her mouth. Sabrina's eyes widened, and she nodded slowly in recognition. The woman took a quick look around the interior as Sabrina approached, her book still held in one hand. "Oh, you're busy," the woman began, glancing down at the book before starting to back out and pull the door closed. "I'll come back some other time."
"Mme Carré," Sabrina interrupted, giving her an inviting smile and putting her foot in the doorway to prop the door open, "I am never too busy to see a client. And especially one who works for my Papa!" She gestured toward the chairs around her table. "Please, come in."
Élodie swallowed anxiously, but reluctantly she stepped inside the room, and Sabrina closed the door behind her. "You–you remember me?"
Sabrina nodded encouragingly. "Of course I do; I had so much fun visiting with you and M. Carré at the Christmas party last year!"
"That was a nice party, wasn't it?" mused Élodie, humming. Some of the tension left her shoulders, and a bit of the anxiety faded from her emotions. "I'm glad we put it on – and that the families could come."
"We'll have to do it again!" Sabrina agreed. She watched Élodie carefully as she glanced around the room without making any move toward the chairs. "So…"
As if sensing her interest, Élodie's shoulders slumped and she let out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry. This is just… new for me. I've never seen a counselor before, but I haven't been sleeping too well lately – I was hardly sleeping at all after the Tarasque…" She swallowed. "But I thought it would go back to normal once the Tarasque was gone, only it hasn't. My sleeping has been just as poor this week, and Julien is starting to worry. He said something to, well, to your father, and the Prefect recommended counseling. I said I would think about it. Then this morning the Prefect called me into his office and told me it was an order and handed me an address. So… here I am." She looked around dubiously. "But I wish I knew why I was in a drug rehab facility; apart from an occasional glass of wine, I don't drink or smoke or anything like that."
Sabrina shrugged, gesturing for Élodie to take one of the seats at her table. "This is just where I work out of," she explained. "Not all of my clients are connected to the rehab center; some are seeing me for a similar reason to why you came to me." Once Élodie had taken a seat, Sabrina sat down across from her, carefully marked her place, and set the book aside. "And I'm glad that you came in this morning, even if it was under protest! Hopefully talking about this will help with your sleeping trouble. So… where do you want to start?"
Élodie frowned, looking around the room nervously before returning her gaze to Sabrina. "Um… we really aren't supposed to talk about the job – I barely even tell my husband anything – so I'm not sure–"
Sabrina cut her off with a wave of her hand. "You don't have to worry about the secrecy regarding the SLD in here," she assured her. "There is a reason that Prefect Raincomprix sent you here, and it has very little to do with that family connection. You can believe me when I say that I know everything there is to know about the Superhero Liaison Department, and not just because my father is the Prefect!" Élodie gave her an unconvinced look, and Sabrina stifled a giggle, jerking her head toward the robotic vacuum in the corner. "And the room is swept for bugs every night just in case," she added. "You're safe to talk about anything in here."
Élodie slowly let out a breath. "Okay…" She fell silent, the anxiety and embarrassment in her emotions only slightly abated.
After watching her for two minutes, Sabrina let out a breath, steadying herself. "You said that you were having trouble sleeping," she prompted. "Do you want to begin there?"
Finally, Élodie looked down at the floor and began talking. "I decided to become a police dispatcher because I wanted to help people. I didn't want to be out on the 'front lines' – that's not really who I am. Being out of the danger but close enough to make a difference – that's what I wanted. I'm really organized, so being a dispatcher seemed like an ideal fit. The first few years were really good, particularly that year I was in your father's precinct – he was always kind and respectful, always had an encouraging word. He even remembered my preferred tea order and would bring me something whenever he stopped for coffee. So when he asked me to join him in his new position at the SLD, it seemed like an obvious decision. I wanted to help people, and this was the way to help the city." Her emotions turned sad. "I didn't realize how much more stressful the SLD would be than a regular precinct. I'm trying to manage officers with all different skill sets, I'm switching back and forth between our people and the regular police and rescue. I'm dealing with situations all across the city, and the situations themselves have such a greater chance to become deadly. Several months back, our system transferred a girl to me who had been abducted by a monster with clawed fingers and hairy paws – it wasn't until later that we realized that must have been 'Bear Arms.' She couldn't give me anything to figure out her location, and we didn't find her until we were searching his apartment after he'd been killed. Then there were the sewage workers who called for help; all I could do was listen as they were mauled by some monster in the sewers."
Sabrina's eyes shot wide open. "Hugo…" she whispered.
Élodie cocked her head in confusion, and Sabrina waved her hand dismissively. Élodie shrugged. "It always hits me hard when we can't actually help someone," she continued, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. "But when the Tarasque came through… well… we were inundated with calls. There was no way that we could help everyone – not when we were also trying to keep the civilians away from the heroes so they could fight the Tarasque. I didn't have enough officers to respond to every call I received, even with help from some of the heroes, and I had to tell some of them so."
Sabrina nodded solemnly, her own face falling. She sighed heavily, swallowing. "I remember that far too well," she agreed. So many people had refused to evacuate until it was too late. When the Tarasque had begun its rampage, the police and some of the heroes had begun clearing out the buildings in its path, but it had been too little, too late. She had used her Akuma on one such evacuee and sent Sauveteur to rescue as many as he could, but many more had been left to fend for themselves; by the time Sauveteur had reached them, it had been too late and either they had fled on their own or the Tarasque had already destroyed their buildings. So many had been hurt and killed, and she had felt all of their emotions. Her stomach clenching, Sabrina frowned, her mouth setting in a thin line. "There was just no way to save everyone."
"And then, when the Tarasque barreled through our line – through the SLD line, I mean," Élodie continued, tears starting to form at the corners of her eyes, "there was nothing I could do but listen. They are my friends! I know them, I know their families – Angelique Moreau and I would get lunch together every other week, before all this happened! And that day I had to listen to them get hurt and killed. You know, I didn't actually find out until two hours later who was alive and dead." She swallowed hard, looking down at the floor. "That was the hardest part," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. "Not knowing. Not being able to do anything. I–I think that's when the trouble with sleeping started."
Sabrina hummed pensively, forcing herself to inhale and exhale slowly, to release all of her own emotions out into the atmosphere. "You had to listen from afar while your friends were putting themselves in danger, and you felt helpless to do anything about it?" Élodie nodded. Sabrina sighed heavily. "That's not an easy task to be in a support role like this," she observed sympathetically. "You want to help as much as you can, but by design you can't be where it's happening. You want to save everyone, but sometimes you can't save everyone. This is a great burden to have to bear, being the one to guide and direct your teammates. But it is a necessary one. After all, think of how much worse it would have gone, how many more people would have been hurt or killed without you directing your officers where they needed to go."
Élodie raised an eyebrow. "I know it's important, I know we saved a lot of people, but…"
"But it's still not on you to be in this position," Sabrina finished, letting out a heavy breath. "I know – better than most. We need to be encouraged by our successes. The failures help us learn and grow, but we can't dwell on them. Otherwise, you'll burn yourself out."
Élodie folded her arms, giving Sabrina a doubtful look. "And how do I do that?"
Sabrina furrowed her brows in thought. "I have two 'prescriptions' for you," she began slowly. "The first is that I'm going to expect you to come in every couple weeks for counseling – sometimes just talking about the stress is enough to alleviate it. But the second is that I think you need a few days away," she suggested, grabbing her notepad and starting to write. "How many days 'off' did you have over the last two months?" Élodie shook her head and shrugged helplessly. Sabrina hummed. "I didn't think so. After working almost constantly for the last two months-plus, I am going to recommend a vacation – maybe a week in the mountains or on the Mediterranean. Do you think M. Carré would enjoy a week away? After the last few months, I think he would. How about going down to Nice together? I'll write Papa a note that he needs to give you some vacation time."
"You think a vacation will help?"
Pausing her writing, Sabrina shrugged. "I mean, it won't hurt… but I think it will help – even just a little bit. It's a chance to get your mind off of your work and 'recharge' a little. That plus counseling may do wonders to help you process what happened. If it doesn't help as much as we hope it will, then we can revisit this in a month or so and talk about other treatments. This sounds like Secondary Traumatic Stress, and there are treatments, depending on the severity. There are some therapies we can try; medication might also help with the symptoms. Those are both beyond by ability at the moment, though, so I would need to vet another therapist to handle that – given the sensitive nature of your position. But we'll worry about that if we need to. We will make sure that you get better."
