"A proposition?" Her mouth thinned to a slim line and her eyebrows rose.
"Yes, I would like to invite you to a barbecue," he explained. "My research indicates a barbecue is a traditional social gathering where a meal is served after having cooked food out of doors over an open flame."
Her head tilted to the side. "I know what a barbecue is, but…why are you inviting me?"
"Because my supervisor said I was encouraged to bring a guest, but all of the individuals I am familiar with on Earth currently work at the same company and will already be in attendance. Because you are my girlfriend, I thought it appropriate that I invite you."
She didn't move or give any indication she heard his offer, other than widen her eyes to a point where he could see the whites that encircled her uniquely blue irises.
"Do you accept?" he asked.
Amanda took a deep breath, clasped her hands together, and trained her eyes skyward. "Look, Sarek, this is probably my fault for not really explaining exactly what a girlfriend is."
"Would you prefer I used the term woman acquaintance?"
"Sarek, a girlfriend is woman who is a romantic partner."
Sarek was stunned by this revelation. There was nothing in the term girlfriend to suggest it had romantic connotations. "Why did you not explain this on Friday evening?"
"Because I was embarrassed that my boss thought we were dating," she groaned, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. "I didn't want to make things weirder and I didn't think I'd ever see you again. And look where that got me."
"Yes, the truth is generally preferable to a lie."
"I didn't lie."
"Concealing the truth is still lying by omission."
"You're really going to lecture me?"
Sarek glanced down at the pavement. "My apologies."
"Look, I'm sorry about the misunderstanding. I hope you have fun at the barbecue."
"I have already told my boss I was bringing a girlfriend."
Amanda wrinkled her nose. "Then untell him. Or go out and find yourself a real girlfriend and take her."
"I find you pleasant enough," he replied.
Amanda's face went blank. "That's…nice? But I don't want to be in a relationship with you. No offense."
"You have given no offense."
"Well, this has certainly been a very weird conversation," she mumbled, inching forward to enter the coffee shop. "Good luck with everything."
Sarek stepped aside to let her pass, suddenly troubled by the prospect of losing Amanda as a girlfriend, even if only because he had misunderstood what the term meant. He didn't have any interest in being involved with her romantically either—interspecies relationships were so peculiar, after all—but the attitudes toward him in the office had changed dramatically when it became public knowledge that he had a girlfriend.
People bothered him less. They certainly talked about him more, but he had longer stretches of uninterrupted time to focus on his duties. Perhaps the illusion of being romantically attached to a person conferred certain social benefits according to Earth custom, such as the freedom to navigate one's day unmolested by mindless chatter.
He supposed he could always simply fail to correct people when anyone made mention of his girlfriend, but that would be a lie through omission, which he had just chastised Amanda for. He pondered the logic of lying. Falsehoods were illogical, but this would be a small lie and one not likely to cause harm. In fact, the benefits would surely outweigh any potential negative consequences in the form of increased productivity at work because he would be free of the burden of unwanted female attention.
But eventually the truth would come out. When Amanda failed to appear at the barbecue, it would certainly raise suspicion. He could try to do as she suggested and find a new suitable girlfriend, but who? He liked Amanda. She was easy to converse with and besides, Vedek had seen her. If Sarek brought a different person to Garrett's barbecue, Vedek would recognize the switch and he would very likely tell the rest of the office.
Acting on a rare impulse, Sarek strode into the coffee shop and approached Amanda. She was waiting at the end of the bar and studying her PADD but she seemed to sense him coming. Her eyes performed an amazing display of acrobatics and she groaned, "What?"
"I know that it would be an inconvenience, but I would be very grateful to you if you were to attend this barbecue with me. I could compensate you for your time, if you like."
Her features turned very serious. "Excuse me?"
"Have I offended you in some way?" he asked.
She narrowed her eyes. "I don't sell any part of myself for money. Not my time, not my body, not anything. Prostitution is a job like any other job but it's not one for me."
Embarrassment was illogical, but Sarek could not deny a certain degree of mortification upon hearing her accusation. "I did not mean to imply you were a prostitute." He dropped his voice and added, "I- I would never attempt to engage in sexual intercourse with you."
"Lower your voice," she snapped, jerking hard on his sleeve.
"Strawberry smoothie for Amanda!" the man behind the counter called, sliding a bright pink drink in her direction.
"I have to go," she added.
She snatched the drink from the counter and in her haste to flee the scene, her right foot clipped a brightly-patterned rug on the floor, sending her crashing to her knees and her drink sailing in a neat parabola across the copper concrete.
The few patrons in the shop turned to look and when Sarek bent down to ask if she was alright, she shoved the palm of her hand at him and growled that she was fine. She stormed toward the bar, grabbed a fistful of towels, and fell to her knees in an effort to sweep up the remains of her pink beverage.
The man behind the counter called to her, telling her there was no need to trouble herself and that he would tend to the mess, but she either did not hear him or did not care to. Sarek approached cautiously, knelt down, and began to assist with cleaning up.
"I've got this," she barked, scrubbing even more vigorously.
"Amanda, it's fine," the barman said, emerging from his station with a mopping bot in hand. "And I've already got another strawberry smoothie started for you."
"You didn't have to do that," she sniffed. Sarek noticed pools of moisture were forming around the lower lids of her eyes.
"You're one of our best customers," he laughed. "Of course I do. We all have bad days. Now step aside and let the sweeper work its magic."
Sarek stepped back as the employee requested. He turned to Amanda and muttered, "It is unfortunate about your drink."
"Yeah," she murmured through clenched teeth, closing her eyes and drawing in a deep breath as her cheeks began to flush crimson.
Sarek knew any further entreaties would be in vain and had no desire to cause further distress. "I am sorry to have bothered you. I'll leave you alone."
Her face grew redder. "Listen, I'm pretty sure you didn't mean to come off like some kind of weird pervert, but even if I wanted to, which I don't, I don't have time to be your girlfriend. I also don't have time to be your pretend girlfriend, even if you pay me. I'm registered for way too many hours this semester and my internship is running me ragged and no matter how hard I study, I'm going to fail physics and I'll probably have to move back home with my dad and I don't really need that right now and I don't even have time for my regular friends, let alone a fake boyfriend."
It was regrettable that the two men sitting on the nearby sofa were clearly listening to their conversation and giving Sarek some very suspect looks. The barman left the bot to its task and whipped back to his station to produce a drink identical to the one Amanda had spilled moments earlier. She took it, mumbled a word of thanks to the drink's creator, gave Sarek a brisk nod, and headed for the door.
"Have you attempted to remediate your physics knowledge with supplemental education?" He was uncertain what made him call after her, whether it was a desire to convince her to play the part of his girlfriend or genuine concern regarding her situation. He held his breath and awaited her response.
She halted in her tracks and without turning around asked, "What?"
"Have you sought an additional lecturer to bridge the gaps in your understanding of physics?"
"Are you talking about a tutor?"
"Precisely."
She glanced over her shoulder, revealing a face wearing features that could only be described as annoyed, even by Sarek, who was not adept at deciphering such things. "Pretty much all the tutors on campus are just idiot undergrads whose only qualification is they've already passed this class. They're terrible and a waste of time."
He took several steps toward her, careful to keep his posture submissive. "I would be willing to tutor you."
Her lip curled into a sneer. "And what makes you more qualified than some dopey sophomore who reeks of marijuana?"
He ignored the fact that he was unfamiliar with whatever marijuana was and explained, "I confess I am not sure which subdiscipline of physics you require assistance with, but I do hold an advanced degree in astrophysics from the Vulcan Science Academy and I have a strong background in optics, relativity, quantum mechanics, and-"
She held up a hand and shook her head. "I thought you were a map maker."
"I am currently employed by a firm that does interstellar cartography," he confirmed. "But generating accurate interstellar maps requires advanced knowledge of physics."
She blinked a few times and then shrugged. "You're really an astrophysicist?"
"I believe I mentioned it on Friday evening but you seemed occupied by the arrival of your supervisor."
The muscles in her throat twitched, suggesting she was swallowing.
"Also, it would be illogical to lie about my credentials. What branch of physics do you require remediation in?"
She waved her left hand in a dismissive semi-circle, frowned, and squinted her eyes. "Regular?"
"Specify."
She closed her eyes and held her hand to her forehead. "Do you know how to calculate the mass of the Earth?"
He thought about her question for a fraction of a second and said, "There are a number of instruments that could render a highly accurate measurement but it could also be estimated using simple gravitational laws. Do you know the average radius of the planet? Also, what system of units would you prefer the answer in?"
Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. She remained silent for nearly ten seconds, her lips frozen partly open. "And you could calculate it, just like that?"
"With sufficient information, yes. Do you know your planet's radius? The planet's circumference or diameter would also be acceptable, as would some other information that would allow me to calculate the radius of the Earth, such as the Earth's volume or—"
"I don't know off the top of my head," she sighed, taking a hasty drink of her strawberry smoothie. "I'm going to be late for work. Do you mind walking and talking?"
"Not at all."
They set off down the sidewalk at a brisk pace, presumably in the direction of her work but also in the direction of Sarek's apartment. Amanda took a long sip of her drink and asked, "You only need a girlfriend for this barbecue of yours, right? As in, you want me to go and act like your girlfriend?"
"That is correct."
"And if I show up at your barbecue, you'll tutor me in physics?"
He probably would have agreed to tutor her anyway, but thought it wise to avoid saying so. He also thought it strange she would be offended by his offer of financial compensation in exchange for appearing in public as his girlfriend, but not by his proposal of educational reimbursement.
"When is this barbecue again?"
"Twelve days from now, in honor of Federation Day."
"Oh, that is coming up, isn't it?" she scowled, pushing her straw into her drink to stir it. "This semester's gone by so fast. So that's next Saturday."
"I believe so."
"And is it an all-day thing or do you just need to show up for an hour, eat a burger, and then dash?"
"I am uncertain. Why would I dash? Does dash not imply running—"
"Look, if we're going to do this, I want it to be fair," she interrupted. "I'll pretend to be your girlfriend in public for an hour in exchange for an hour of tutoring."
"That would be quite equitable, yes."
"So that's why I asked how long this barbecue is supposed to last. So if the barbecue is three hours, that's three hours of tutoring."
"I am capable of performing basic arithmetic."
She scowled. "But are you actually any good at teaching? Have you ever tutored before?"
"To obtain my degree, I was required to teach at least one class every term to junior physicists. I taught twelve classes in total."
"Right, but that doesn't mean you're good at it."
"None of my students ever had any complaints."
"But they were all Vulcan, right? Would they have complained?"
"Probably not," he admitted.
"Tell you what—tutor me for an hour and we'll see if there's any point in actually pursuing this. Regardless of how it goes, I'll agree to spend an hour at your boss' Federation Day party."
"That is acceptable."
"So what are the rules?"
"Clarify."
"I'm not going to have sex with you—"
"I would never ask you to," he interjected, preferring not to return to the conversation about prostitution.
"That's good to know, but there's a lot of stuff in between sex and no physical contact whatsoever and if you really need me to pretend to be your girlfriend, you're going to want to make it believable."
"Perhaps you should be the one to determine the boundaries," he replied, trying his best to stifle feelings of discomfort. "Since you are familiar with what humans do in romantic relationships."
She took another sip of her drink and said, "I'm fine with side hugs as long as you don't get too handsy, maybe a quick kiss on the cheek when we get to this barbecue, and I guess occasional hand holding."
He gave her a cautious glance. Hand-holding? As far as he was concerned, touching hands was far more intimate than touching their mouths together, but he knew from casual observance of Terran culture that humans had no such taboo over the practice.
"I would not be comfortable holding your hand," he said, surprised by how quiet his voice was.
"Fine then. No hand holding. I still think the relationship would be a bit more believable if we did, but it's up to you."
Her stride slowed and she stopped outside a bright yellow door with depictions of animals drawn on it. Long glass windows revealed a lobby steeped in primary colors and early childhood educational posters wrapped around a small central desk, where a woman with dark hair was watching them. He was very familiar with this place; his own residence was directly across the street.
"This is my stop," Amanda said, nodding toward the door.
"When would you like me to tutor you?"
"According to my syllabus, I have a quiz on Wednesday and I agreed to come into work early tomorrow so could you meet me tonight?"
"Where?"
"Is Pete's Place okay?"
"Yes, but at what time? I would prefer to not have to wait for you outside again."
"Give me your PADD," she said, pulling hers from her bag.
He did as she instructed and she tapped the two receiving ports together. A soft ding indicated the devices had synced the necessary contact information.
"Here," she said, thrusting his PADD back into his hands. "Now I really have to go. See you tonight."
"You did not specify a time."
"Message me," she called over her shoulder, slamming the door of the learning center in his face.
The woman with the dark hair at the desk was still watching him. When she saw Amanda enter the building, she smiled. Sarek straightened himself, turned, and walked across the street into his apartment building to meditate and await her message with the final details of their impending tutoring session.
Amanda leaned against the door, stunned by what had just happened. Beads of condensation were forming on her smoothie cup, making her hand feel wet and gross.
"You okay?" Nicoletta called, giving her a smug look.
There were so many unspoken words written in her expression. "Yeah, fine."
"Who was the Vulcan guy?" she teased.
Much to her chagrin, Adam's head popped out of his mother's office. "Was that Sarek dropping you off?"
How she wished there were a way to keep herself from blushing involuntarily. "Yeah, he walked me to work."
"Who's Sarek?" Nicoletta asked, over-pronouncing his name and slapping her palms on the table, feigning shock and pretending to be scandalized.
"He's Amanda's new boyfriend," Adam winked, excusing himself from further conversation by ducking back into the office.
The last thing she could have ever wanted was to be teased by Adam over her fake boyfriend. Not that she could ever tell anyone they weren't really dating because that would just make her look even more pathetic.
"What's this about Amanda's new boyfriend?" Sarah asked, sticking her head out of the infant room.
Why had she imagined any of this would ever remain a secret? The whole idea was to pretend to be Sarek's girlfriend for his benefit, not hers. The last thing she needed was all her coworkers thinking she was dating anyone.
"Amanda has a new boyfriend," Nicoletta cooed. "He's Vulcan and he just walked her to work."
"Walked her to work in a sweet way or a creepy, controlling way?" Sarah asked, touching her index finger to her lip.
Amanda rolled her eyes. As weird as Sarek was, he never once had he come off as creepy, but neither was he sweet. She decided to say what she needed to say to minimize the gossip. "The sweet way, I guess?"
Sarah touched her chest in dramatic fashion and sighed. "Ah, my heart!"
Amanda groaned inwardly. Why had she let Sarek walk her to work where other people could see him?
"Which kids are still waiting to be picked up?" she asked Nicoletta, desperate to change the subject.
Sarah glanced around the infant room and said, "I know the Peterson twins are still here, plus the usual suspects."
Amanda spent the next three hours chasing after rambunctious toddlers, changing diapers, and singing inane songs designed to teach young children about shapes and colors and numbers. She didn't mind the chaos and repetition. She loved children and they were an amazing distraction from a failed physics exam and her fake Vulcan boyfriend. One by one their parents came to collect them and when the last child left at 2015, she set to work sanitizing the toddler room for the next day.
"Everything alright, Amanda?" Adam asked, peeking his head into the play area.
Amanda's mouth formed into an automatic, half-hearted smile. "Great."
"Need any help in here?"
Under any other circumstances she would have jumped at the chance to spend time alone with Adam but today she didn't feel up to it. The last thing she wanted was to strike up a conversation about her new, albeit pretend, love interest. "I think I've got everything under control."
"Nah, I don't mind." He began wiping the toddler-sized tables down with disinfectant.
"Thanks," she mumbled.
"Any time," he said, giving her a smile. "So how long have you and Sarek been dating?"
Amanda's heart sank. He couldn't have even given her a tiny segue before grilling her about Sarek?
"Uh, not long," she replied, grimacing.
"Aren't relationships the best when they're new?" he asked.
Amanda turned her back to him and made a face. "Sure, yeah."
"It's hard to believe T'Vara and I have been dating for six months. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime, and other times it feels like we just met."
She hated that they were talking about dating other people, but she couldn't deny she liked having this time with him. She cleared the throat. "Is she still on Vulcan?"
"Yeah, but she's supposed to be back on Friday."
"You must be excited," Amanda replied, hoping she was concealing the disappointment in her voice.
"Can't wait. I have this whole amazing date planned. She's really into nature and the bats just migrated back so I thought I'd take her on a late evening picnic to the lake so we could watch them cascade over the horizon at sunset."
"That sounds really romantic," she admitted, unable to control her jealousy and despair that she wasn't the one being invited on this date.
"Her birthday is coming up soon and I'm still trying to figure out what to get her. Vulcans don't celebrate birthdays, but that's what she gets for having a human boyfriend. She gets to celebrate human traditions, whether she likes it or not."
"That's really sweet of you," Amanda replied. "My birthday's in couple of weeks."
"That's right," he said. "April 12th, isn't it?"
"Yeah," she replied, secretly ecstatic that he would remember such a trivial detail about her life.
"And you'll be nineteen?"
Her heart beat faster. Adam remembered things about her. "Yeah."
"Can you believe T'Vara is going to be fifty?"
"Did you say fifty? Like, five zero?"
He nodded.
Amanda's jaw hit the floor. "T'Vara is fifty years old? There's no way."
"Vulcans live almost twice as long as humans," he replied.
Amanda's brow rose in contemplation. "Isn't it weird though, dating someone old enough to be your mom?"
"She's actually eight months older than my mom, but please don't tell my mom that," he laughed. "The age difference was weird at first, but I got over it. Besides, if she lives twice as long as I do, that means that relatively speaking, we're both about a quarter of the way through our lives so we're kind of like the same age."
"I guess," Amanda shrugged, unconvinced.
"How old is Sarek?"
"I don't know," she admitted, suddenly both dying to know and desperate to avoid ever knowing.
He looked so young but then again, so did T'Vara. Before Adam's revelation, she would have been shocked to hear the beautiful Vulcan woman was a day over thirty, let alone fifty. Sarek did say he had an advanced degree in astrophysics but it was hard to say how long that might have taken him to achieve, since she knew nothing about the Vulcan educational system. Could he really be as old as fifty?
She laughed aloud. So what if he was fifty? It would just add another complicated layer to an already complicated situation, this idea that she was fake dating someone old enough to be her dad, or maybe even old enough to be her grandfather.
"Something funny?" Adam asked.
"Not really," she sighed.
When she was finished cleaning the toddler room, they held their usual end-of-day staff meeting to discuss upcoming events, potential issues with some of the kids, and scheduling conflicts. On her way out of the breakroom, she finally checked her PADD and saw she had a message from Sarek, asking what time he should meet her at the coffee shop.
She was in the middle of messaging him back on her way out the door when she looked up to see him standing on the sidewalk.
"Oh h-hey," she blurted, her voice garbled. "What are you doing here?"
"You never replied to my message," he explained.
Sarah pushed past Amanda on her way out the door, giggling. She turned halfway around and made a heart shape with her hands and told Amanda to have a good night. Amanda pressed her lips into a slight frown and approached Sarek.
"Sorry, uh, things just got busy at work and I forgot to message you. Did you seriously just wait here for four hours for me to come out?"
"No, I live in the building across the street and researched the operating hours of this business."
"Oh good," Amanda lied.
"You stipulated it would be appropriate to engage in a light, chaste kiss on the cheek upon meeting," he said.
"First of all, tonight isn't a date, tonight is you tutoring me," she said, wagging her index finger. "Secondly, the whole point of a hello kiss is to keep up appearances in front of your social circle, not mine. I don't need my coworkers thinking we're dating, even though they already do."
"You are correct, forgive me," he responded. "I did not mean to offend you or insinuate I was owed this expression of favor. I have never entered into such a partnership with anyone before and I am unsure what the correct protocols are."
Amanda laughed. "Such a gentleman. You're the best fake boyfriend a girl could ask for."
"Was that a compliment?"
She hung her face in her hands to hide her expression. "I don't know. Let's go learn some physics."