Chapter 102

Olivia woke the following morning with her ribs screaming at her. In the middle of the night, she had turned onto her bad side and at the moment moving wasn't possible, not only because of the pain, but because she was on the edge of the bed with the curves of her wife pressed snuggly into her back. As much as she didn't want to wake Natalia, the pain was too much. She tapped the Latina's arm until she finally stirred.

"Olivia, are you okay?"

"No b-baby, m-move, h-hurts."

Natalia quickly scooted back so Olivia could turn onto her back. "I'm so sorry honey."

"It's o-okay. M-meds, pl-please."

Natalia jumped up and grabbed Olivia's pain medication and water bottle, adding her heart medicine while she was at it. Olivia eagerly drank down her pills and tried to stay still on her back and breath deep to get through the pain. She knew it would be twenty minutes or more before the pain pill kicked in, but she needed to try something to stop the pain. She had yet to roll to that side and she was certain it was a mistake she wouldn't be making again.

Natalia left her wife to breathe through the pain while she went to start coffee and wake the rest of her family. Their session with Dr. Boudreau was at nine and everyone needed to be ready. After starting the coffee, she hit the light switch at the top of the stairs to let Rafe know it was time to get up and then went upstairs to raise her daughters, Doris, and brother-in-law. Once Sam and Ava were up, she went to her room to wake Doris and Emma, when she opened the door she was surprised to find the bed empty and properly made. Knowing the two weren't downstairs, she decided to check Emma's room.

When she opened the door, she smiled at the sight. There was Doris and Emma, still snoozing in Emma's new full-size bed. It was much smaller than the king they had been sharing and the sight was almost comical. Doris was on her back with an arm thrown over her eyes and the other hanging off the edge of the bed, Emma was on her stomach, half on top of Doris, one leg thrown over her and an arm across her neck. Natalia held back her chuckle and walked to the edge of the bed Doris was on and gently shook her awake before kissing her daughter gently on the forehead to rouse her as well. Once they were both fully awake, she went back to her room to grab a few things, avoiding the closet, before heading back to help Olivia get ready and start breakfast.

Natalia poured herself and Olivia both some coffee and went to their temporary room hoping Olivia was feeling a little better by now. It had only been fifteen minutes but she was hoping the pain medicine was at least staring to work. She walked in and set both mugs down on the end table before sitting on the edge of the bed and swiping some hair from Olivia's face.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?"

Olivia opened her eyes and Natalia could still see the pain in them. "Still hurts, b-but better. M-meds are starting t-to work."

"Good. I'm so sorry my love, I truly wish I could take this pain from you."

Olivia smiled at her caring wife. "I know y-you would s-sw-sweetheart. But I'm g-glad it's me."

Natalia just smiled and kissed her wife's forehead. "You want to lay here a little while longer before we get you ready?"

"If I c-could please. J-just to let the V-Vicodin kick in a little m-more."

"Okay honey. I'll go start on breakfast and be back in a little bit to get us both ready."

"Thank y-you baby. I l-love you."

"I love you too." She leant down and gave Olivia a sweet kiss before leaving her to start on breakfast.

Once breakfast was completed and everyone was showered and dressed, Doris headed out to her office, promising Emma she would be back that evening as long as she agreed to sleep in her room again. Emma happily complied and hugged and kissed her auntie good-bye. Olivia couldn't have been more proud and happy that her daughter and best friend were growing so close and she truly appreciated all of Doris's help with Emma. Although it was strange that she wanted Doris over even her brother and sister, it made sense in a way, Doris was a powerful figure in their community and she gave Emma a sense of safety and security that no one else could while she was unable to sleep with her mother's.

The family arrived at the therapist office a little early so they all sat in the waiting room while she finished up with her current client. Emma was sat on Rafe's lap with Ava next to them. Olivia and Natalia sat on Rafe's other side holding hands. Natalia could tell that all three of her girls were nervous. She stroked Olivia's hand with her thumb trying to calm her while they sat and waited until the office door opened. A young woman stepped out and walked straight out the door.

Felicia turned to the Spencer-Rivera family. "Hello everyone." She said happily. She bent down in front of Emma, who she could tell was a little scared. "There are some toys and books in that room right over there." She pointed to an opened door. "If you would like, you can go play while I speak with your mommies for a few minutes." Emma nodded but didn't move from her brothers lap, just burrowed her head deeper into his chest. Felicia turned her gaze to Olivia and Natalia. "Alright, I would like to speak with the two of you first and then we'll have the rest of your family join us if that's alright."

Olivia and Natalia shared a look before standing and following Dr. Boudreau into her office. Once the door was shut, Felicia took a seat in a comfortable looking chair and Olivia and Natalia sat holding hands on the black leather love seat across from her.

Felicia clasped her hands together and looked at the pair. "So, I know a little about what your family has been through, just from talk around town, and I would like to extend my sincere apologies for all you've endured, but I would like the two of you to tell me what brings you here today. Remember, you only have to tell me what you feel comfortable saying, but the more I know, the better I can help."

Olivia looked at Natalia to start, not sure what she was willing to share. Therapist weren't her thing, she was only here because of her children, and she knew her wife would hound her until she came. "Can y-you tell her b-baby? I don't th-think I can."

Natalia pat Olivia's hand and smiled encouragingly at her. "You sure?" Olivia only nodded and squeezed her wife's hand tighter. Natalia pulled Olivia closer and wrapped her arms around her before turning her gaze to the doctor. "Well, as I'm sure gossip has told you, we've been dealing with some rather unpleasant encounters for the past year."

"Would you care to share any details? As I stated, you don't have to tell me anything you're not ready to, but I need a little information to know how I can best help your family. Maybe start by telling me just a few details, maybe what's caused Emma's nightmare, I know from our phone conversation that she is one of your main concerns."

"Yes, she is. Well, about a year ago is when Olivia and I started seeing each other. As I'm sure you know from the rumor mill, Frank Cooper had it in his head that I was dating him, mind you we only had one dinner together. Anyways, at first he just kept trying to get me to leave Olivia. Mostly verbal commands and insults towards Olivia. The man was a little off his rocker, at one point he even proposed. We didn't know at first, but he was seeing Rafe while he was in prison, lying to him. He told Rafe that he and I were dating and engaged, he even lied to the parole board about it."

Natalia gave a quick rundown of what had occurred over the past year, sticking mainly to the important details. "Then, in November, just before Thanksgiving, Frank got physical with me. He was upset that I was actually going to marry Olivia. It wasn't anything major, he just grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go. Left some pretty bad bruises. We tried to hide it from Emma, but I think that's when she first started to become fearful. She wasn't home when it happened, but I think she overheard some things and might have seen the bruises on my arm. It didn't get really bad until after he crashed our wedding. Frank went to jail shortly after, but then he got out on bail. When Emma saw him she was terrified and that's when the nightmares became very noticeable. And then there's what just happened. I'll leave the details to Olivia, because it's her story to tell, but basically Frank assaulted Olivia in our home while out on bail and Emma has had nightmares nightly since."

"That's understandable. We feel safe in our homes, and feel our families are safe as well, your home was violated and Emma no longer feels that it's a safe zone."

"I understand why and how she feels, it's just, well, after what happened, Emma can't sleep with Olivia and I, she's a kicker and could accidently hurt Olivia. She refuses to sleep alone. It kills us that she can't be with us, but Olivia needs rest so she can recover. We offered to make her a bed on our floor, and Rafe and Ava both offered to sleep with her, but she'll only sleep if Doris sleeps with her. At first it had to be in our bed, we're currently staying in our office downstairs, but last night Doris finally got her back in her bed, as long as Doris slept with her."

"Doris? As in Mayor Doris Wolfe?" Dr. Boudreau asked a little surprised.

"Yes, she's a friend of our family."

At Olivia's angered face, Felicia quickly back peddled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything bad about the mayor, just, I don't picture her cuddling up with anybody."

Before Natalia could say anything Olivia spoke up. "Doris Wolfe is o-one of the b-best people I know. I'm g-grateful for her fr-friendship."

"Of course. I'm sorry Olivia, I didn't mean to upset you." Felicia said.

"It's not that we mind that Emma wants to sleep with Doris, I guess I just don't understand it." Natalia continued.

"We'll get more into that after I've had a chance to speak with the entire family. It could be lots of things. Children often attach themselves to people for no real reason. It could be that Emma simply feels safe with her, it could be other factors. I know you said that both Rafe and Ava are struggling in different ways, and it's obvious that both of you have been deeply affected, it's possible that Emma senses that all of the adults in her family are feeling the same as she is, so she is clinging to someone outside of the circle that she trust.

Children, especially young children, can often sense what we're feeling. If they feel you are under stress, they often don't want to burden you with their problems or make your issues worse by adding to them with their own. No matter what Emma's reasons for wanting Doris with her, it's important to remember that it's a process Emma is going through to make herself unafraid and feel safe at home again. Make sure she knows you have no problem with her wanting Doris. It's going to take time, but for now, until I can speak further with Emma, I would say that as long as mayor Wolfe is willing, I would encourage her to stay with Emma. Your daughter needs to feel safe above all else at this time."

"Doris has been wonderful, and she promised Emma she would stay for as long as she needed her. We're very lucky to have such a good friend in her."

"That you are. I'm glad to hear she is willing to stick by your family through this. At this time, I'd like to bring in your kids. I'll assume Rafe and Ava are aware that we need to keep Emma in mind while speaking as a family?"

"Yes, they are both very protective over her. I'm pretty sure the only reason all of them, Olivia included, agreed to come is because of how hard this is for Emma."

"Alright. I'll give you two a minute and then return with your family. Today we are just going to discuss everyone's main concerns for your family as a whole. I know I mentioned it on the phone, but I feel individual counseling will be best for concurring personal issues. Especially given that Emma is so young and we won't be able to discuss some of the finer details bothering the four adults with her here. If you are uncomfortable with individual sessions, I would highly suggest us having two family sessions a week, one with Emma present so her needs are being met, and one without her so that the adults needs are being met as well." With that, Felicia stood and exited the room, set on getting some coffee and using the restroom before returning so Olivia and Natalia could have a few moments. She could tell Olivia was feeling uneasy, and although she didn't know the woman very well, she knew she had to tread lightly with her.

Once the door closed, Natalia pulled back from the tight hold she had on Olivia and coaxed her to turn and face her. "Honey, are you okay so far?"

"I'm…I d-don't know. I'm n-not the therapist type. And I d-don't like retelling a-all of this a-again."

Natalia ran her knuckles down Olivia's cheek and kissed her sweetly. "I know my love, but I really think we need this, all of us, but you most of all. I know it's hard, but she can help you if you let her. Do you think you might be willing to talk to her by yourself? She's right about Emma, we won't really be able to talk about the big issues with her here."

Olivia sighed. "I know."

"You don't have to decide right now, I would just like you to think about coming by yourself."

"How about I t-think about c-coming with just y-you?"

"I would be willing to do that."

"I said th-think, not will."

"I know. I'm just glad you are even thinking about coming without the kids."

Olivia leaned forward and kissed her wife's tempting lips. "I l-love you sw-sweetheart."

"And I love you Mrs. Spencer-Rivera."

The two resituated on the love seat so Natalia was leaning against the arm and Olivia was leaning against her with her head on Natalia's chest, one of Natalia's arms wrapped tightly around her and the other hand laced with one of Olivia's on her lap.

Just a few minutes later the door opened and Felicia ushered their children inside. Emma ran to her mother's and squeezed into the spot next to Olivia. Olivia moved one arm to lay across Emma's shoulders while Rafe and Ava sat on the other couch in the room, Ava leaning against her brother. Felicia took her spot in the chair across from them.

"So, who wants to go fist? Like I told your moms, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to." Emma burrowed into her mother's side and peered at Felicia. She wanted to tell her how scared she was but she was afraid. Felicia could sense that Emma was probably her best chance. She knew a little about Ava from Remy, mostly things pertaining to when her grandson, Max, passed away and everything Ava went through at that time. She didn't know Rafe at all, only what she had heard about him around town. Deciding making a connection with Emma might open up the rest of the family, she started with her. She leaned forward in her seat and smiled at the young girl. "Hey Emma. Do you know who I am."

Emma nodded. "Mommy and Ma said you are a doctor, but not like when you're sick. You're for when there is something wrong in your head, like daddy."

"Yeah. My name is Felicia. I'm a doctor people talk to when something is bothering them or scares them. Is something bothering you?"

Emma looked at her mother, unsure of what to do. Felicia seemed nice, but she was scared to say something she shouldn't.

Olivia smiled down at her daughter. "It's okay J-Jellybean, you can t-talk t-to her if you w-want to."

Emma still looked unsure. Natalia extricated herself from Olivia and went to kneel in front of her youngest daughter. "Hey Emma, did you know that Felicia here is Remy's mom?"

"She is?"

"Yes I am." Felicia said with a smile.

"So, you're Max's grandma, like mommy?" Now that Emma was starting to talk, Natalia returned to her position and Olivia was more than grateful to have her wife back beside her.

Felicia's face fell for a moment at the mention of her deceased grandson that she had never even gotten a chance to hold. But she quickly plastered a smile back on her face, realizing that maybe this was an opening with Emma. They had something, or rather someone, in common. "That's right. I am. And you are Max's aunt, right?"

Emma's eyes grew sad and she frowned. "Yeah. Or, I would have been, but Max died. So did Grandpa Alan. Were you sad when Max died?"

Felicia chanced a glance at Ava, fearing talking about Max too much would make matters worse for the young woman who had birthed her grandson. Ava, who had leaned further into Rafe at the mention of her son, nodded at Felicia with a sad smile, so she continued, wanting to make a connection with Emma. "I was very sad. But I know Max is in a better place, and he is happy."

"You really think so?"

"I do." She paused, wanting to find a way to move the conversation to how Emma is feeling now. "Emma, were you sad when your mommy got hurt?"

"Yeah, but not like when Max died, I was more scared then sad when mommy got hurt."

"What were you scared of Emma?"

"I was scared that mommy was going to die and I wouldn't see her anymore."

"Are you still scared?"

Felicia continued to talk with Emma for several more minutes. Learning that she was indeed still worried about losing Olivia. As time passed Rafe and Ava both admitted that they feared the same thing. Not so much that someone was going to hurt or kill her like Frank, but more because they had already almost lost her due to problems with her heart. Although they were old enough to understand the difference between her heart and what happened with Frank, it didn't stop the fear of losing Olivia.

Felicia made sure to inform them that what they were feeling was perfectly natural. It's normal to fear losing a loved one after such a traumatic event, especially given everything they had previously endured with Olivia's health. Emma was talking more and more about her fears as the hour went on and she explained to Felicia why she felt so safe with Doris. 'No one would dare hurt the mayor.' Dr. Boudreau made certain Emma knew it was okay to want to be with Doris and encouraged her to stay with the mayor for as long as she needed to.

As the hour neared its end, Felicia wanted to wrap things up and make sure the family felt okay with everything for the time being. "So, we're about done for today. I just want to make sure you are all feeling okay for now. So, any of you need to say more before we end today?"

"Um…" Rafe scratched at the back of his head. "Can I talk to you, alone, for a minute?"

"Of course, Rafe, let's step into the other room." The two exited and went into the playroom Rafe had been in with Emma earlier. "So, what's on your mind Rafe?"

"Uh, I just, I was wondering if I could maybe come see you without everyone else sometime?"

"I think that would be a good idea Rafe. Not that it matters, but is there a specific reason you wish to see me without your family?"

"Um, well, I don't know if my mom's told you, but uh, I was there, when it happened, and I don't know how to handle it all. I guess I just need to talk to someone that isn't my mom. They keep telling me it wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could do, and I know they're probably right, but I still feel like I failed her you know? Like I didn't do what I was supposed to. Olivia hasn't been my mom for very long, and I wasn't very nice to her and my Ma when I first found out about them, but she's my mom and I, I just…"

Felicia placed a gentle hand on his arm. "It's okay Rafe. We'll talk. Let me finish with your moms and then I'll see what I have available in the next couple of days. Okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"No problem. Why don't you take a seat in the waiting room, I'm gonna send out your sisters and I just need a few minutes with your moms." Rafe nodded and went to sit where he was before they went into Dr. Boudreau's office. Felicia reentered the room and asked the girls to give her and their moms a few minutes and then they would be good to go. "So, how are you two feeling right now?"

Natalia rubbed her hand up and down Olivia's arm, wanting her wife to say something. When Olivia stayed silent, Natalia spoke. "I feel good about today. They kids said more than I thought they would."

"Good. I'm glad you're feeling okay. Olivia, how are you feeling?"

Olivia refused to look at the doctor, instead she leaned further into her wife, much like Emma would. Natalia kissed her head and held her tighter. "Olivia, baby, please say something."

Tears streamed silently down Olivia's face. "I d-didn't realize Rafe and A-Ava were j-just as scared a-as E-Emma. I d-didn't even n-notice how w-worried my own ch-children were." She turned her face into Natalia's shoulder as sobs shook her body.

Natalia buried her face in honey blonde locks and rubbed Olivia's back in soothing circles. "Shh baby. Calm down. It's okay honey. I didn't realize they were still scared that you're gonna die either. I thought that since Frank is behind bars that they were okay. I thought they were just both having trouble with the situation. I didn't know they felt like Emma, like you could still die at any moment."

Olivia clung to her wife. "I, I…." Her cries choked her and she sat up to keep from coughing all over Natalia.

Felicia handed her a box of Kleenex and waited for her and Natalia to both dry their eyes and calm down for a moment before she spoke. "This is all very normal after what your family has been through. Not just with Frank, but with your health as well Olivia. I don't think Rafe nor Ava feel exactly what Emma is feeling. Emma is scared that someone might hurt you again, or take you away from her, Rafe and Ava are fearful that you could die from any number of things. Those two have both been with you at the hospital when you were fighting for your life due to complications with your heart. Ava when you truly almost died. I feel it's safe to assume that Emma was shielded from most of that." At Olivia's nod, she continued.

"Rafe and Ava, they both love you very much, and after seeing their mother so close to death on more than one occasion, it's normal for their natural fear of losing someone they love to become more realistic for them. We all fear for our loved ones. I worry about Mel and Remy constantly, as I'm sure you two worry for your children, and for each other. It's human nature to fear something bad happening to those we love, and, after having something as horrible as what's happened to you happen, it's very common for those fears to become more persistent. They will slowly ebb back into a normal range, with time, and some help."

Felicia paused and took a sip from her coffee. "I can tell that your family is very close, and that will be the most important thing for all of you, keeping your closeness intact. It's very easy to let our own fears and doubts allow us to escape inside of ourselves, when we do that, we tend to pull away from others, especially the ones we love the most. It's going to be your job to keep that from happening to your family. First, you need to help each other not to close up, and second, you need to help all of your children not to hide in their own heads. If you notice a single member of your family starting to close off, you'll need to be there for them. Something as simple as having some family time and just being together should be enough to pull whoever it is out of their head and back into the family."

Natalia chuckled a little at that. "I don't think that will be a problem. We have regular family movie and game nights, and lately no one is out of sight of the rest of the family for more than work and school."

"That's good. Keep doing that. Lean on each other, comfort each other, and most importantly, love each other, every day." Reaching over to her desk, Felicia grabbed her planner and flipped through the pages to the following week. "Now, is this same time next week good for another family session?"

Natalia sighed. "We'll be in Chicago for our hotels grand opening until Wednesday afternoon."

"Alright, how about Thursday at ten in the morning?"

Natalia looked to her wife who nodded. "We can do that."

"Okay. We'll start out meeting as a family once a week. Now, since Rafe is an adult, I don't have to tell you this, but I feel confident he won't mind my telling you, he has asked for individual sessions, I know he works for you at the Beacon, will he be able to stay after the family session?"

"Of c-course." Olivia answered. Beginning to calm and feel more like herself now that the focus was off feelings and onto business. "We w-will do whatever w-we have to."

"Alright. I'll schedule him for elven then. And what about Emma and Ava. I truly feel that they both would benefit from speaking to me by themselves as well, but I won't push the matter if you're uncomfortable with it."

"Ava will have to decide that for herself. As for Emma, I feel that she might like to talk to you alone. I could tell she was holding somethings back with all of us here. What do you think Olivia?" Natalia asked.

"As m-much as I ha-hate to admit it, I th-think you're r-right. Emma w-wasn't saying ev-everything she w-wanted to. But D-Doris suggested maybe a c-child therapist w-would be best."

"I could recommend some great child psychologist or therapist if you like, however, I did start out working with children, and I still have several I meet with regularly."

"Oh, g-good. Then yes. I th-think Emma would en-enjoy talking with you. But I w-want to ask her first, be-before we schedule a-anything."

"I think that would be for the best. How about I take Ava aside and see how she feels about it while you speak with Emma. If she wants to see me, I can see her Friday at four, that way it doesn't disrupt her school day."

"That would be good." Natalia said with a smile as she stood up and held a hand down to help Olivia.

"Just one more thing, what about the two of you? I think you both could use some individual time."

Natalia saw the hesitation in her wife's eyes and answered for them both. "I would like to see you, maybe just a few times, but Olivia is still thinking about it. We'll let you know next week."

"Sounds good."

The three left the office and went to join the rest of the Spencer-Rivera's in the waiting room. After speaking with Emma, they scheduled her appointment, with Natalia's at three the same day. Ava, like her mother, was unsure. She also decided to wait until the following week to make a decision. Although, her reasons were different then Olivia's, she was more worried about her comfortably level with Felicia then speaking with a therapist. She knew they could be very helpful. She decided she would look into a few other counselors in the area before making a decision.

Once they left Felicia's office, Rafe and Ava headed to The Beacon for a few hours of work, dropping Emma off at Spaulding enterprise for a few hours with her daddy so Olivia and Natalia could have a little time alone since Sam was going to be in town until around dinner.

Olivia and Natalia lay in their bed, after a quick lunch, cuddled up together. Olivia had taken her pain medicine and was on the verge of sleep when Natalia spoke. "I'm very proud of our family."

"Mmm. We d-did good." Olivia sleepily replied.

Natalia giggled and kissed her wife's head. "Yes we did mi amor. Te quiero cariña."

"I love you t-too." Olivia tilted her face up from Natalia's chest to capture her loves lips with her own. The two kissed leisurely for a few moments. Both needing the connections after such an emotional morning. When they broke apart, they were both breathless. "What would a g-girl have to d-do to get m-more than a kiss?"

"Heal her broken ribs and gaping head wounds." Natalia smiled.

"My h-head is fine. J-just a couple of sc-scars. And I'm s-sure we could f-figure out a position or t-two that wouldn't h-hurt my ribs."

"Olivia!" Natalia chastised.

Olivia licked across Natalia's bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth and gently biting, electing a gasp and moan from Natalia. "What?"

Natalia took a deep breath to calm her libido. "You know we can't baby."

"But I w-want to. I m-miss you." Olivia whined.

"I want to too baby, and as soon as Dr. Rick gives you the all clear, I intend to spend days showing you how much I miss the intimate side of our relationship, but until then, kissing only." Olivia playfully grabbed Natalia's left breast as her eyes started to close. Tiredness and medicine taking her into sleep. Natalia removed her wife's hand from her with a smile. "That's not kissing." She kissed her lovers temple and whispered to her. "Go to sleep baby. I'll be right here when you wake up."

Olivia turned her face enough for one more kiss before unconsciousness took over. This kiss was sweet and tender for the beginning of the healing process for their family, but also heated and passionate, promising more as soon as Olivia was physically able to.