Chapter 105
The following day was Emma's all about me presentation. She had a good visit with Dr. Boudreau the previous day. Although it was scary at first, she had really opened up and talked to the Doctor about all that was bothering her. Natalia had waited in the waiting room while Emma talked with Felicia.
Felicia had let Emma chatter about her day and normal kid stuff without asking any questions about how Emma was feeling or what she thought about the upcoming trial. Although those things needed to be address, Felicia wanted Emma to feel completely comfortable with her before bringing up those issues.
Once Emma started to slow down about her day and their trip to Chicago, Felicia had stepped out and gotten Emma a soda and some toys from the other room. She allowed Emma to play for a while and just observed before she asked her any questions.
Emma was playing with a couple of dolls when Dr. Boudreau joined her on the floor. Felicia spoke softly to the girl. "Emma, would you like to talk about how you're feeling about the trial on Monday?"
Emma stopped playing with the doll and just starred at the floor for a few minutes before answering. "I'm scared." She whispered before picking up the doll and continuing to play as if she had said nothing.
"What are you scared of?" Felicia asked gently.
Emma didn't answer right away, instead she focused on the doll in her hand. After several long moments she finally spoke. "I don't want to see him."
"Are you scared to see him?"
"Yes." Emma replied softly.
"You know he can't hurt anyone there right? There will be police officers there to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone."
"But…." Emma shook her head, unable to ask what she really wanted to.
"But what Emma? It's okay, this is just between you and me." She prodded gently.
"I don't want the bad dreams to come back. Auntie Doris made them go away, but if I see him they might come back."
Felicia was once again taken aback by a member of the Spencer-Rivera family. How was this little girl smart enough to know that seeing the man that hurt her mother could possibly trigger her nightmares. "You're absolutely correct Emma. It's a very real possibility that the bad dreams could come back. I won't lie to you about that, however, your moms told me that your Auntie Doris will stay with you for as long as you need."
"I know, but I don't want them anymore. They feel real."
"What happens in your dreams Emma?"
Emma shook her head and closed her eyes tight; she didn't want to think about the bad dreams, about the nights when her mommy dies, or the times that Rafe gets shot. Although everyone did there absolute best to keep any details from Emma, she had heard plenty of their conversations. She had heard Natalia crying and asking God why he allowed her wife and son to come so close to death. She had heard her sister crying in her sleep and screaming about already losing one mother and not willing to lose another. She had heard Rafe calling out in the night, begging Frank not to kill Olivia, to take him instead. She may not know all the details, but she knows enough. Enough to make the nightmares more than just about her mommy getting hurt. She knows more than anyone thinks she does. More than she's willing to tell.
Felicia gently touches Emma's arm making the girl snap her eyes up and out of her own thoughts. "It's okay Emma. You can tell me. It might not make it all better, or make the dreams go away, but sometimes talking about them helps. Can you tell me just one thing?"
Emma takes a long slow breath and then speaks in almost a whisper. "Nobody thinks I know what happened but I do, only not really, and in my dreams my head fills in the blanks and it's never good."
"What do you mean?"
"Everyone thinks that I don't know what happen. They all just tell me that mommy got hurt, but I hear them. I know Frank had a gun and he hit mommy a lot. I know he tried to take her away. I know that Rafe was scared and Frank threatened him with the gun too. I know there was lots of blood in mommy and ma's room. I know that they both almost died. Nobody told me, but I hear them. I hear them talking, and I hear when they scream in the middle of the night. I hear auntie Doris cry next to me some nights."
"You are a very smart little girl Emma. Are you upset that no one has told you the whole story?"
"Yes, a little."
"Why does it upset you that they haven't told you?"
"Because maybe if I knew what really happened the dreams wouldn't be so bad."
"Can you tell me about your dreams now?"
Emma looks down at her hands that are fiddling in her lap and then back up. "They are all different, but somehow kind of the same. I see Frank hitting mommy and then he shoots her and she dies. Or sometimes it's Rafe that gets shot. Some nights it's both. Then other nights he takes mommy away and nobody knows where she is. Sometimes I don't see anything but mommy in the hospital, but she never comes home, she dies at the hospital like she almost did when she needed a new heart." By the time she finishes silent tears are streaming down her face.
Felicia's heart clenches in her chest as she listen to the nightmares this young girl has suffered through all by herself, never speaking a word to anyone. She rubs Emma's arm again and struggles to hold her own tears at what this poor child has had to endure. "Why don't you tell your mommy and Ma about the dreams?"
"Because, they have their own. And mommy needs to get better and Ma is trying so hard not to be upset. She thinks nobody notice when she sneaks away to cry, or when she screams at the sky out by the big tree, but I see her. They don't need to worry about me too."
"Oh Emma. Honey they are worried about you. All parents worry about their children. It's what they do. I bet they would worry less if they knew what you were going through, and I bet they would talk to you about what happened if you told them how much you know."
"No, they would be mad at me for eavesdropping. Ma said I'm not 'opposed to, it's rude."
"I think she would understand in this case. Emma, your moms want you to be okay. They want you to just be their happy little girl, and if you are struggling with something, they want you to talk with them about it so that they can help you through it."
"But everyone has so much going on, they don't need to have to worry about me."
"Emma, is that why you want Doris to stay with you at night?"
"Kind of. She makes me feel safe cause no one would ever hurt the mayor. And since mommy and ma and Ava and Rafe have their own stuff it's better if I have Doris and don't have to bother them."
"You are such a sweet and smart girl Emma. You are smarter then so many adults I have met, but you are still a little girl and it's okay to need your mommies, they are never too busy for you, or have too much going on. That is something I can promise you. I've seen it in our family sessions. Everyone in your family wants everyone else to be okay. You all want to help each other, and it's no different with this Emma. They will all want to be there for you and help you. You just need to be willing to talk to them."
Emma nods but doesn't say anything.
"Alright Emma. We're about done for the day; I do have some homework for you to do before we meet next week. Do you think you can do that for me?"
"What do I have to do?"
"I want you to tell either you moms, or your brother or sister just one thing that is bothering you. I want you to really talk to one of them about just one thing. Can you do that?"
"Does it have to be something about Frank?"
"No, it can be anything you want, but it has to be something that you are having trouble with, okay?"
"Yeah, okay. I can do that."
"Good. Now, how about we take these toys back to the other room and you can play for a few minutes while I talk with your Ma."
Emma grabs the dolls and Felicia gathers the other toys she had brought in and the two go into the other room where Emma stays while Felicia ask Natalia to join her in her office for just a moment. Once they are behind closed doors the two women sit and Natalia looks up worried.
"Is Emma okay?"
"She is as okay as can be expected given the situations. I won't violate Emma's trust, given that nothing she told me worries me a great deal, but I did want to talk with you about a couple of things, or rather make you aware."
"Okay." Natalia says a little wary of what she is about to hear.
Felicia takes notice and touches her arm lightly. "It's nothing horrible. I feel making you and Olivia aware of some of the things Emma has told me might be helpful to all of you."
"Alright."
"Okay, well, first of all, I know Olivia is a little upset that Emma has taken to sleeping with Doris instead of a member of your family and I want you both to know that Emma has her own reasons for why, and it might surprise you both. I won't tell you what she's told me, because then she won't trust me, but I will say that the two of you need to talk to your daughter. Which brings me to my second point. Your family is very loving, and very connected to one another. You all seem to understand what each of you is feeling without the need for words at times, however, Emma seems to have fallen through the cracks in that regard."
"Excuse me? What does that mean?" Natalia retorts, sounding very much like an offended Olivia.
"Nothing. I meant no offence Natalia. All I'm saying is that Emma knows far more about what happened that night with Frank then any of you are aware, and I believe it will benefit Emma a great deal if you sit down and talk to her. Find out what she knows and fill in the gaps."
"What? We can't tell her what happened in that room. It will traumatize her more then she already is."
"That's my point Natalia. She already knows more than you think she does, and by not telling her the truth, her young mind is making up scenarios and I can guarantee you that they are worse than the truth. I can't tell you what to do, but I highly suggest that you and Olivia talk to your daughter. You can't hide this from her. She already knows that something awful happened, now all you can do is damage control, and in my experience, the best way to do that is honesty. Now I'm not saying to paint her a vivid picture, just, tell her what actually happened. The facts, as vaguely and gently as you can."
Natalia took a deep breath. "I guess you're probably right. Neither Olivia nor I has really sat down and spoken with Emma about what happened. I'll speak with Olivia and we'll both talk to Emma."
"Good. I think it will help all of you."
"Thank you doctor. You have been very helpful to my family."
"I'm glad. So, I'll see you all next week?"
"Yes."
"Okay. Try to rest over the weekend and if any of you need me, you have my number."
"Thank you."
The two exited the office and Natalia and Emma made their way home. Once dinner was finished and the kitchen was clean, Natalia suggested they all watch a movie together. Olivia and Natalia took their usual place on the couch, but Emma didn't join them. Instead, she chose to sit on the floor with Ava and Rafe while Sam took the chair. When Natalia realized that her little girl was keeping away from her and Olivia, she understood what Felicia was trying to say even more. Emma was afraid of hurting Olivia and they really did need to talk to her.
Once the movie ended, Rafe carried an already asleep Emma up to her bed and Ava helped to tuck her in before the two headed to their own rooms after kissing both their mother's good night. Sam could see that the two needed some time so he also excused himself. With just herself and Olivia left in the living room, Natalia turned to her wife.
"How are you feeling my love?"
Olivia gave a half smile to her love. "I'm okay. The p-pain isn't so bad to-today."
"Good. I'm glad. I hate seeing you in so much pain."
"I'm okay sweetheart, I p-promise."
"You don't always have to be so strong you know. It's okay to tell me that you're hurting, or that you're struggling."
Olivia reached for her wife's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I know, but I r-really am okay right n-now. But I l-love you for worrying about m-me so much."
"I love you too." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to Olivia's before reclining back into the couch again. "Well, I'm glad you're feeling okay today, but we need to talk about Emma."
"What about h-her? Is she okay? D-did Felicia say something w-was wrong?"
Natalia squeezed her lover's hand again and gave her a soft smile. "Calm down mi amor, it's nothing bad. She just feels that we need to talk to Emma, about what happened."
"No, absolutely n-not. We are not g-going to put our little g-girl through that." Olivia stated adamantly.
"I know, I felt the same way, but Dr. Boudreau said she already knows more then we think she does, and that by not telling her, her mind is making up its own stories of what happened and that what she is thinking is worse then what actually happened. She doesn't want us to go into all the details, just find out what she knows and make sure it's factual, and then give a child friendly, or as much as it can be child friendly, version of that night."
"I don't k-know Natalia, what if it m-makes things worse? She j-just quit having nightmares o-on a nightly basis. I d-don't want to bring them b-back."
Natalia moved closer to her wife and wrapped her in her arms as tears leaked from Olivia's eyes. "I know honey, I don't want to either, but Felicia is right. Emma is too smart and to nosy, like her mother, not to know more then what we told her. Felicia really thinks that talking to her will help, and at this point, I am willing to do anything to help our little girl feel better and feel safe again. Not that I don't love Doris, but I'm sure she wants to sleep in her own bed, and I wouldn't mind having just our family around here again."
"I know, you're r-right. We'll talk to her, but not to-tonight, she's already asleep, and n-not tomorrow because she has h-her presentation at school and we p-promised her ice cream after. Can w-we do it Saturday?"
"I think that would be good. Where is Doris by the way?"
"She had s-some work to finish, she c-called earlier and told Emma she would j-join her in bed as soon as she c-could and that if she w-was scared before she got here to c-crawl in bed with Ava and s-she would get her when she g-got here."
"I guess it's a good thing she crashed before the movie ended or something tells me she would still be up waiting for her Auntie."
"I think you're r-right." Just then they heard gravel crunching outside. "That m-must be Doris now. Hey, how did y-your session go today?"
"It went well. I don't wanna talk about it right now though. Is that okay?"
"Of course, it i-is sweetheart. You d-don't have to tell me at a-all. As long as y-you're getting what you need, th-that's all that matters. You'll t-tell me if you want to, a-and if you don't, th-that's okay too."
"I do want to tell you. I just… I don't think I can right now."
Olivia kissed her wife sweetly. "It's okay h-honey, I understand."
"Thank you."
Before either of them could say another word, Doris came breezing into the house, letting a cold gust of wind in with her. "Damn it's cold out there."
"Yes it is. Th-thanks for bringing it in w-with you." Olivia joked with her friend.
"Well, someone has to keep you chilled out."
"Ha, ha, y-you are not funny."
"Neither are you my love." Natalia added with a kiss to her wife's lips as she stood from the couch. "Long day Doris?"
"Very, I'm helping with last minute details for the trial as well as keeping this town from falling apart."
"We appreciate all that you're doing Doris, for us and for this town. Would you like some dinner? I have some keeping warm in the oven."
"That would be lovely. Did Emma get to sleep okay? She seemed upset on the phone that I wouldn't be here before bedtime."
"She fell asleep while watching a movie with us. Rafe and Ava took her up and tucked her in bed. As far as I know she's still there. I was just going to check on her before helping Olivia to bed."
"Good. I'm glad she was able to fall asleep. I'll go grab my dinner and chat with Olivia while you check on her if you want."
"Sounds good. I'll be back down in a few." With a quick kiss to Olivia's lips Natalia was up the stairs and at her daughters door.
Doris retrieved her dinner from the over and sat down across from Olivia. "You know, when Ava's apartment is done, I may just take over her bedroom, it's not bad coming home to a nice hot meal every night. And the hottie that prepares them doesn't hurt either."
"Watch if Wolfe. T-that's my wife you're speaking of."
"Oh, cool it. You know I'm only teasing, besides, aside from your children, that woman has a one-track mind, and you're it."
"Well, I can't a-argue with you there. So, what's going t-to happen on Monday?"
"Not a whole lot more then what we've already discussed. I did talk to Mel about your concerns having Rafe take the stand, and I agree with you that it's going to be hard for him, but Mel truly believes that it's necessary, and if we don't call on him, Frank's lawyers will anyways. Not to mention, he is the key witness to all of this. Yes, Mallet and Boudreau were both there, and they will both be speaking, but Rafe, he's the only one besides you that was truly threatened in that room, and he's your son Olivia, a son that hated you and now loves you as much as he does Natalia. If that isn't going to bring an emotional response that will pull at the jury's heart strings, I don't know what will."
"Are you saying y-you want to use my son to h-help swing the jury?"
"No, I think the evidence will speak plenty to the jury. I want your son to be the final nail in the coffin." Natalia came back down the stairs and sat next to her wife. "Good, you're back. I need you both to prepare yourselves for what this trial is going to bring forward, for both of you."
"What do you mean?" Natalia asked confused.
"Frank's lawyers are going to try and paint a picture for the jury, one that shows Olivia in the worst light imaginable. One that will make the jury question if his actions were justifiable and perhaps make the judge buy the insanity plea. If they can tell a good enough story that makes the judge and jury believe the man had every reason to snap, even if the psychologist say he's perfectly sane, they may go lenient on his sentencing."
"What kind of things are they going to say?" Natalia asked, taking Olivia's hang and twining their fingers.
"Well, we all know Olivia's past isn't the best."
"That has nothing to do with this."
"That may be, but it does show her character."
"Not her true character. Olivia is not what her past mistakes make her appear to be."
"Calm down Natalia, I know that most of the town knows that, but the jury doesn't. Frank's lawyers are going to bring up everything she has ever done wrong and then some. They will talk about every mistake she's ever made that they can find evidence to. And just when you think they've said all there is to say, they are going to talk about the two of you. About how you were at the beginning, before becoming friends. How you were 'dating' Frank, how Olivia stole you from him, everything. And then they will bring up Rafe, his record, his hatred for Olivia, his reaction when you two came out, all of it. Then there's you Natalia. It will be brought to light that you left last summer. It will be brought into question if that was a call for help. They are going to make it seem like you didn't really want to be with Olivia, like she was forcing you and that everything Frank did was just to try and protect you…"
"But that's not what happened." Natalia snapped, raising her voice as her blood started to boil.
Before Doris could respond, Olivia took Natalia's hand and used a finger under her chin to bring them eye to eye. "We know h-honey. Don't get so w-worked up. I know it s-sucks, but she's right. It's h-his lawyers job to try and get him as l-low a sentence as possible. In o-order to do that, th-they are going to try and make m-me the bad guy and Frank the h-hero. You cannot break though. Y-you cannot have an outburst in t-the court room. We will get our chance to s-set the record straight."
"That's right." Doris agreed. "Not only will both of you be taking the stand, but we also have several character witnesses lined up to speak on Olivia's behalf, if it's necessary. I could be completely wrong and his lawyers could take a different approach, but I doubt it."
"Who's going to speak besides us, Rafe, Ava, and Sam?" Natalia asked.
"As I mentioned, Remy, Mallet, and the paramedics will all speak as to what they saw here, then there's Rick, who will attest to the injuries Olivia sustained. Then Blake, who has the inside scoop on Frank, at least up until he left those nasty marks on you Natalia. Then there's Holly, who has requested to be able to speak on Olivia's behalf if necessary. Phillip, of course, being one of many skeletons in Olivia's closet, is good to have on our side, and then there's a surprise witness, that we will only use if we feel we have to."
"Who?" Olivia all but demanded.
"Now Olivia, even you know the meaning of the word surprise."
"Damn it W-Wolfe. Who?"
"Olivia, if the time comes, I will make you aware, but not until then."
"Not Emma, s-she will not be a-apart of this."
"Do you really think I would do that Olivia? No, it's not Emma."
"Good." She said while stifling a yawn.
"Alright then, I can see you are fading fast, and I'm sure Emma will wake soon if I don't get up there. I'll see you ladies in the morning?" she stood and headed for the stairs.
"Oh Doris." Natalia called. Once the blonde turned back to face them, she continued. "Emma's presentation is tomorrow; you will be joining us won't you?" She said with a coy smile, thinking of last year's presentation and the mockery Doris made of it.
"Of course, I will."
"Leave the news cameras be-behind huh." Olivia snarked.
"Hardy har, har. You are so funny Spencer."
"Spencer-Rivera, and I k-know, I'm hilarious."
Doris chose to ignore her friend's childish behavior and instead marched up the stairs and straight to Emma's room. Curling herself around the child just as she was starting to toss on the bed with the beginnings of a nightmare.
They were all seated in the front row as Emma took the stage at school. Behind her on the big screen was a picture of herself playing in the snow. Emma shuffled the papers in her hand before beginning her presentation. She smiled at her family and took a deep breath.
"All about me, by Emma Spencer-Rivera. I'm Emma Spencer-Rivera. I am nine years old." The pictured changed to one of Olivia and Natalia on their wedding day. "Last year I told everyone what made my family unique is my two mommies. That's still true. This is them when they got married." The pictured changed again to one of her and Phillip at Christmas. "This is my daddy. Phillip Spaulding. He's the greatest daddy there ever was." Again, a new picture came up and it was Sam, Ava, Rafe, and Emma playing a game on the living room floor. "This is my uncle Sam, my brother Rafe, and my sister Ava. We all live together at out farmhouse. Well, 'cept for Sammie, he's just visiting." Another pictured appeared and Doris's mouth dropped open. It was her and Emma cuddled up in Olivia and Natalia's bed. Only Natalia and Emma even knew the picture existed. "And this is my Auntie Doris. She's the best auntie ever. She's the mayor. She keeps me safe and even though she's not my real auntie, she'll always be my favorite." Pictures of just Emma doing various things continued to change on the screen while she continued. "My favorite color is purple, and mommy and ma did my whole room in purple for Christmas. I love to read and feed the ducks in our pond. When I grow up I'm going to be a business mongrel just like my mommy, ma, brother, sister, and daddy. I like to do a lot of things, but my number one favorite thing is to play games and watch movie with my family. And if I could make one wish come true, it would be to have a baby brother or sister, so I could be the bestest big sister, just like my big sister Ava."
As Emma stepped down from the stage and ran to her family, Olivia and Natalia just starred at each other with the same knowing look and their jaws on the floor. They had each thought about adding another child to their already large family, but neither had voiced their thoughts with everything else they had going on. Now the seeds were planted and they both knew that at some point they would be talking about expanding their family.
As Emma hugged every one and Phillip scooped her up, Natalia took her wife into her arms and gave a chaste, public appropriate kiss. This kiss was for the amazing gift they had in their wonderful children, and for the now known prospect of adding another child to nurture and love to their already beautiful, blended family.