Disclaimer:
I DO NOT own this series. That goes to the wonderful Rick Riordan and Hyperion Books. I am just borrowing the story and characters. I will say that the story lines will be written down because it makes it much easier to follow along and know the current placement, especially if it has been a while since reading the book. Also, this is not beta'd so there will most likely be a few mistakes, feel free to let me know. Enjoy!
Oh, this is also only my second story ever so please be gentle. I've been really enjoying getting to share how I would imagine characters would react to their tales and I hope to continue to do so.
Book
'thoughts'
"speech"
Hello! I'm so sorry how late this chapter is, I somehow managed to catch a cold in the summer which evolved into a chest infection. Not a fun past few weeks for me. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!
We Shop for Water Beds
"I'm sorry you what?!" Zeus boomed.
"Calm down brother, it's probably a reference for some monster or something." Hades reasons.
"Hmph, we shall see."
"May I read now?" Dionysus snarls, the faster he could get this over with the better.
It was Annabeth's idea.
She loaded us into the back of a Vegas taxi as if we actually had money, and told the driver, "Los Angeles, please."
The cabbie chewed his cigar and sized us up. "That's three hundred miles. For that, you gotta pay up front."
"You accept casino debit cards?" Annabeth asked.
"Oh, you genius you!" Connor beamed.
"I do have my moments, of course." Annabeth jokingly sniffed.
He shrugged. "Some of 'em. Same as credit cards. I gotta swipe 'em through first."
Annabeth handed him her green LotusCash card.
He looked at it skeptically.
"Swipe it," Annabeth invited.
He did.
His meter machine started rattling. The lights flashed. Finally an infinity symbol came up next to the dollar sign.
"Please tell me you still have those." Travis begged.
"Pretty sure I lost it as soon as I got home." Percy shrugged.
"Ate mine." Grover said.
"Forgot about it." Annabeth added.
"What? No! How could you lose such precious items?!" Connor cried.
"Sorry dude." Percy winced.
As the Stolls began to moan into their hands about the 'unfairness of it all' the trio turned to the rest of the group and flashed their LotusCards quick, grins big on their faces.
Eventually, the Wine God grew annoyed enough to tie the brothers to their chair and silence them with some vines.
The cigar fell out of the driver's mouth. He looked back at us, his eyes wide. "Where to in Los Angeles... uh, Your Highness?"
"The Santa Monica Pier." Annabeth sat up a little straighter. I could tell she liked the "Your Highness" thing. "Get us there fast, and you can keep the change."
Maybe she shouldn't have told him that. The cab's speedometer never dipped below ninety- five the whole way through the Mojave Desert.
On the road, we had plenty of time to talk. I told Annabeth and Grover about my latest dream, but the details got sketchier the more I tried to remember them. The Lotus Casino seemed to have short-circuited my memory. I couldn't recall what the invisible servant's voice had sounded like, though I was sure it was somebody I knew. The servant had called the monster in the pit something other than "my lord" ... some special name or title...
"The Silent One?" Annabeth suggested. "The Rich One? Both of those are nicknames for Hades."
"Maybe ..." I said, though neither sounded quite right.
"I'm surprised you were able to remember that much after being trapped by the Lotus Eaters." Hades admitted.
"That throne room sounds like Hades's," Grover said. "That's the way it's usually described."
I shook my head. "Something's wrong. The throne room wasn't the main part of the dream. And that voice from the pit ... I don't know. It just didn't feel like a god's voice."
"How powerful this child must be to feel that just from a voice?" Hera murmured to her fellow gods. It made her widely uncomfortable to learn the powers of this big three child.
Annabeth's eyes widened.
"What?" I asked.
"Oh ... nothing. I was just—No, it has to be Hades. Maybe he sent this thief, this invisible person, to get the master bolt, and something went wrong—"
"Sorry, Lord Hades." Annabeth muttered.
"It's fine, girl. I'd want it to be me as well." The Lord of the Underworld waved her off.
"Like what?"
"I—I don't know," she said. "But if he stole Zeus's symbol of power from Olympus, and the gods were hunting him, I mean, a lot of things could go wrong. So this thief had to hide the bolt, or he lost it somehow. Anyway, he failed to bring it to Hades. That's what the voice said in your dream, right? The guy failed. That would explain what the Furies were searching for when they came after us on the bus. Maybe they thought we had retrieved the bolt."
I wasn't sure what was wrong with her. She looked pale.
"But if I'd already retrieved the bolt," I said, "why would I be traveling to the Underworld?"
"To threaten Hades," Grover suggested. "To bribe or blackmail him into getting your mom back."
I whistled. "You have evil thoughts for a goat."
"Why thank you!"
"Why, thank you."
"But the thing in the pit said it was waiting for two items," I said. "If the master bolt is one, what's the other?"
Grover shook his head, clearly mystified.
Annabeth was looking at me as if she knew my next question, and was silently willing me not to ask it.
"You have an idea what might be in that pit, don't you?" I asked her. "I mean, if it isn't Hades?"
"I can see how they do well with planning." Apollo commented, "The way the two of them bounce off of each other so easily, it's amazing."
"They can make plans with just a look; it's honestly frightening to see sometimes." Clarisse admitted.
The couple could only smirk to the group, sharing such a look causing shivers to flow throughout the group of children.
"Percy ... let's not talk about it. Because if it isn't Hades ... No. It has to be Hades."
Wasteland rolled by. We passed a sign that said CALIFORNIA STATE LINE, 12 MILES.
I got the feeling I was missing one simple, critical piece of information. It was like when I stared at a common word I should know, but I couldn't make sense of it because one or two letters were floating around. The more I thought about my quest, the more I was sure that confronting Hades wasn't the real answer. There was something else going on, something even more dangerous.
"Every quest I've been on has been that way." Percy groaned.
There was a pitched whine let out, and many looked to Poseidon, who yes looked tense at that bit of information, but surprisingly he was handling himself well. No, it was Sally who had now clutched her son to her, squeezing him tight. She was really starting to hate hearing about Percy's quests. And this was just his first one!
Percy could only worry about how his mother was going to react to the more lethal things that had happened to him over the years. The Sea of Monsters, Atlas, Mount St. Helen's? Forget keeping her calm, he needed to think of a way to make her not have a heart attack or something!
The problem was: we were hurtling toward the Underworld at ninety-five miles an hour, betting that Hades had the master bolt. If we got there and found out we were wrong, we wouldn't have time to correct ourselves. The solstice deadline would pass and war would begin.
"The answer is in the Underworld," Annabeth assured me. "You saw spirits of the dead, Percy. There's only one place that could be. We're doing the right thing."
"Yes, unfortunately, coming to me does seem to be the only real way to get any answers. For anybody." Hades moaned.
She tried to boost our morale by suggesting clever strategies for getting into the Land of the Dead, but my heart wasn't in it. There were just too many unknown factors. It was like cramming for a test without knowing the subject. And believe me, I'd done that enough times.
The cab sped west. Every gust of wind through Death Valley sounded like a spirit of the dead. Every time the brakes hissed on an eighteen-wheeler, it reminded me of Echidna's reptilian voice.
"Oh why, dude. You just had to describe it that way?" Connor cried, shivering.
"Sorry, that dream freaked me out too."
At sunset, the taxi dropped us at the beach in Santa Monica. It looked exactly the way L.A. beaches do in the movies, only it smelled worse. There were carnival rides lining the Pier, palm trees lining the sidewalks, homeless guys sleeping in the sand dunes, and surfer dudes waiting for the perfect wave.
Grover, Annabeth, and I walked down to the edge of the surf.
"What now?" Annabeth asked.
The Pacific was turning gold in the setting sun. I thought about how long it had been since I'd stood on the beach at Montauk, on the opposite side of the country, looking out at a different sea.
"Are you about to do that thing were you just go under without telling anyone?" Travis asks.
Grover and Annabeth respond simultaneously, "Yes."
Percy just shrugs resulting in some smiles.
"It's always best when new campers or those who don't really know who Prissy is see it for the first time." Clarisse laughs, "The number of times we've had to stop people from going after him thinking he's drowning is insane."
"It's like everyone forgets I'm a son of Poseidon, it's hilarious to see their faces when I resurface." Percy grins.
"Oh us, he has his father's humor." Zeus groaned.
"Yes, yes. We all know he is basically a carbon copy of Uncle P." Hermes drawled.
How could there be a god who could control all that? What did my science teacher used to say—two-thirds of the earth's surface was covered in water? How could I be the son of someone that powerful?
"And Percy continues with his self-consciousness." Grover groans.
"You are an amazing legacy for my linage, son. You and Tyson both. I couldn't be prouder." Poseidon hugged the brothers to him, pride evident in his voice.
"But you don't even know what we've done." Percy couldn't help but point out.
"I don't have to. I was proud of you when you were a babe, and I am proud of you now. Just from seeing you two with your peers and your mother is enough to show me what kind of a person you are. Getting to hear about your quests and triumphs will only further my view of you." Poseidon said heartfelt.
Percy could only bury his face into his father's chest. That was too much to take in at once. He'd wanted to hear that from his dad for so long. For it to be reality, it was overwhelming.
Tyson didn't really understand, but he did tighten his hug. Percy was the best big brother anyways, he always deserved good hugs.
Sally smiled at the sight. She did feel some upset, it had been tough raising Percy by herself. There had been so many moments where he had asked about or for his dad. Stories of how they met and fun moments were coveted by the two of them. It was the main reason why they would go to Montauk whenever they were able.
The gods were still pretty shocked at the relationship between the Sea God and his son. None of them could ever imagine how they would be around their own children. Sure, they'd visit a few times if they were able when the child was younger, but with how this group of campers were acting? It was clear that Perseus had some form of relationship with his father in the future. Even some of the other children were close with some of the other gods; Hestia seemed to be a group favorite, and who wouldn't agree, but Hades surprisingly was as well. And some had been to the Underworld multiples times?! It was unimaginable. The gods just couldn't seem to make sense of it.
I stepped into the surf.
"Percy?" Annabeth said. "What are you doing?"
I kept walking, up to my waist, then my chest.
She called after me, "You know how polluted that water is? There're all kinds of toxic—"
That's when my head went under.
The Stolls snorted at the imagery.
"Typical, Ocean Boy, just dives right in."
"Well, I must live up to my namesake." Percy puffed out his chest jokingly. He appeared to have settled from the earlier conversation.
I held my breath at first. It's difficult to intentionally inhale water. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. I gasped. Sure enough, I could breathe normally.
I walked down into the shoals. I shouldn't have been able to see through the murk, but somehow I could tell where everything was. I could sense the rolling texture of the bottom. I could make out sand-dollar colonies dotting the sandbars. I could even see the currents, warm and cold streams swirling together.
"That sounds amazing!" Rachel awed.
"I thought I couldn't get more jealous of Percy's powers." Travis commented.
"Obviously we were wrong." Connor deadpanned.
I felt something rub against my leg. I looked down and almost shot out of the water like a ballistic missile. Sliding along beside me was a five-foot-long mako shark.
"You can swim with sharks too?!" The Stolls cried.
"Yeah, they're basically the dogs of the sea. Always excited and wanting to play or help. Can be adorable or awkward. And let me tell you seeing a Great White play fetch and be gentle is an image I'll never get out of my brain." Percy mentioned.
"Whoa." The brothers exhaled.
"Are other animals similar?" Sally asked, she had always wondered.
"Um, well fish are what you would expect a goldfish to be like. Short attention span, quick speaking, short memory, stuff like that. Dolphins are kinda like a young toddler? Always bouncing off the walls excited with a super short attention span." Her son explained his father nodding along in agreement.
"Magical creatures are pretty similar really. Most are just wanting to play or help out like Percy said." Poseidon added.
"Oh!" Percy jumped up shocking the group, "Turtles! They totally got it right in Finding Nemo! I swear, every turtle I come across is just like Crush, surfer dude and super chill. It's amazing!" the son of Poseidon was beaming.
The campers had to laugh, everyone knew Percy's obsession with that movie.
But the thing wasn't attacking. It was nuzzling me. Heeling like a dog.
"Huh cute."
Tentatively, I touched its dorsal fin. It bucked a little, as if inviting me to hold tighter. I grabbed the fin with both hands. It took off, pulling me along. The shark carried me down into the darkness. It deposited me at the edge of the ocean proper, where the sand bank dropped off into a huge chasm. It was like standing on the rim of the Grand Canyon at midnight, not being able to see much, but knowing the void was right there.
The surface shimmered maybe a hundred and fifty feet above. I knew I should've been crushed by the pressure. Then again, I shouldn't have been able to breathe. I wondered if there was a limit to how deep I could go, if I could sink straight to the bottom of the Pacific.
Then I saw something glimmering in the darkness below, growing bigger and brighter as it rose toward me. A woman's voice, like my mother's, called: "Percy Jackson."
"Oh, why'd you send a Nereid?" Hermes wondered, almost thinking his uncle cruel for the notion.
"Probably was the easiest way to get him to listen to what she has to tell him." Poseidon muttered, even he could tell that was a rather cold decision.
"As mean as it seems, it is the quickest way to get Percy to do or understand anything. Sally just understands him the best so of course he'd listen to her." Annabeth tried to find a positive to the situation.
As she got closer, her shape became clearer. She had flowing black hair, a dress made of green silk. Light flickered around her, and her eyes were so distractingly beautiful I hardly noticed the stallion-sized sea horse she was riding.
She dismounted. The sea horse and the mako shark whisked off and started playing something that looked like tag.
"Man, I wanna play tag with sea creatures!" Travis whined.
"Well, you can't breathe under water, and I can't make bubbles for you guys long enough…" Percy shrugged.
"Hmm, maybe we can bribe some Hephaestus kids to make us something for that." Connor murmured.
"Just don't drag me into it, you two."
The underwater lady smiled at me. "You've come far, Percy Jackson. Well done."
I wasn't quite sure what to do, so I bowed. "You're the woman who spoke to me in the Mississippi River."
"Yes, child. I am a Nereid, a spirit of the sea. It was not easy to appear so far upriver, but the naiads, my freshwater cousins, helped sustain my life force. They honor Lord Poseidon, though they do not serve in his court."
"And ... you serve in Poseidon's court?"
She nodded. "It has been many years since a child of the Sea God has been born. We have watched you with great interest."
"That is true. Pretty much all of my subjects had celebrated after the first time Percy was in the ocean. Few had issues centered about him; Triton definitely wasn't happy to hear about him." Poseidon elaborated.
"Yeah, Triton really doesn't like me, but I get it. I never got issues from anybody from your subjects though, so upsides I guess?" Percy shrugged.
Suddenly I remembered faces in the waves off Montauk Beach when I was a little boy, reflections of smiling women. Like so many of the weird things in my life, I'd never given it much thought before.
"Yeah, they were helpful to check in on how you were doing. Or at least what we would be able to notice when you were close to us." The Sea God winced at the faint reminder of Ugliano.
"If my father is so interested in me," I said, "why isn't he here? Why doesn't he speak to me?"
A cold current rose out of the depths.
"Stupid laws and younger brothers." Poseidon scoffed under his breath.
"Do not judge the Lord of the Sea too harshly," the Nereid told me. "He stands at the brink of an unwanted war. He has much to occupy his time. Besides, he is forbidden to help you directly. The gods may not show such favoritism."
"Oh, like I would be the only god to have a favorite child!"
The other gods couldn't help but agree, they all remembered Zeus' fawning over Hercules.
"Even to their own children?"
"Especially to them. The gods can work by indirect influence only. That is why I give you a warning, and a gift."
She held out her hand. Three white pearls flashed in her palm.
"Oh, that's where those came from." Grover mused.
"Where did you think they came from?" Percy asked.
"Man, I don't even remember what I thought of anymore. I try not to remember our time in the Underworld. No offense Lord Hades." The satyr said.
"It's fine, I imagine for your kind it was difficult to experience." The Lord of the Underworld waved him off.
"I know you journey to Hades's realm," she said. "Few mortals have ever done this and survived: Orpheus, who had great music skill; Hercules, who had great strength; Houdini, who could escape even the depths of Tartarus. Do you have these talents?"
"Urn ... no, ma'am."
The boy's response still shocked some of the gods. They were still surprised to hear the boy so willing to share his faults or lack of abilities.
"Ah, but you have something else, Percy. You have gifts you have only begun to know. The oracles have foretold a great and terrible future for you, should you survive to manhood. Poseidon would not have you die before your time. Therefore take these, and when you are in need, smash a pearl at your feet."
"What will happen?"
"That," she said, "depends on the need. But remember: what belongs to the sea will always return to the sea."
"That explains so much now." Annabeth commented.
"What about the warning?"
Her eyes flickered with green light. "Go with what your heart tells you, or you will lose all. Hades feeds on doubt and hopelessness. He will trick you if he can, make you mistrust your own judgment. Once you are in his realm, he will never willingly let you leave. Keep faith. Good luck, Percy Jackson."
She summoned her sea horse and rode toward the void.
"Wait!" I called. "At the river, you said not to trust the gifts. What gifts?"
"And more people just speaking in riddles about important things to me…" Percy grumbled.
"Good-bye, young hero," she called back, her voice fading into the depths. "You must listen to your heart." She became a speck of glowing green, and then she was gone.
I wanted to follow her down into the darkness. I wanted to see the court of Poseidon. But I looked up at the sunset darkening on the surface. My friends were waiting. We had so little time...
I kicked upward toward the shore.
When I reached the beach, my clothes dried instantly. I told Grover and Annabeth what had happened, and showed them the pearls.
Annabeth grimaced. "No gift comes without a price."
"They were free."
"No, they weren't." Percy whispered causing his parents to look at him in askance, not getting a response.
"No." She shook her head. "'There is no such thing as a free lunch.' That's an ancient Greek saying that translated pretty well into American. There will be a price. You wait."
On that happy thought, we turned our backs on the sea.
With some spare change from Ares's backpack, we took the bus into West Hollywood. I showed the driver the Underworld address slip I'd taken from Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium, but he'd never heard of DOA Recording Studios.
"You remind me of somebody I saw on TV," he told me. "You a child actor or something?"
"Uh ... I'm a stunt double ... for a lot of child actors."
"Well, that better than the last lie." Hermes snickered.
"I'm not good at talking to people okay!" Percy defended.
"You are actually." Annabeth interjected, "You're just also an idiot sometimes."
"That's fair."
"Oh! That explains it."
We thanked him and got off quickly at the next stop.
We wandered for miles on foot, looking for DOA. Nobody seemed to know where it was. It didn't appear in the phone book.
Twice, we ducked into alleys to avoid cop cars.
I froze in front of an appliance-store window because a television was playing an interview with somebody who looked very familiar—my stepdad, Smelly Gabe. He was talking to Barbara Walters—I mean, as if he were some kind of huge celebrity. She was interviewing him in our apartment, in the middle of a poker game, and there was a young blond lady sitting next to him, patting his hand.
"Oh, he sure moved on quick." Sally sneered. She hated the man, but for him to not even attempt to act distraught.
A fake tear glistened on his cheek. He was saying, "Honest, Ms. Walters, if it wasn't for Sugar here, my grief counselor, I'd be a wreck. My stepson took everything I cared about. My wife ... my Camaro ... I—I'm sorry. I have trouble talking about it."
"Sugar? There's no way that girl isn't a prostitute." Ares chuckled.
"I can't fault the girl, she's just in it for the money or a chance to be on TV, but Gabe is such a clear liar. It's amazing people believe him." Percy reasoned.
"Unfortunately, people have never been on our side regarding Gabe, sweetie." Sally sighed; it had been an endless battle to get people to not see Gabe as a savior for taking the two of them in.
"There you have it, America." Barbara Walters turned to the camera. "A man torn apart. An adolescent boy with serious issues. Let me show you, again, the last known photo of this troubled young fugitive, taken a week ago in Denver."
The screen cut to a grainy shot of me, Annabeth, and Grover standing outside the Colorado diner, talking to Ares.
"How much you wanna bet Ares looks like he was threatening the three of them and nobody noticed?" Hermes nudged Apollo.
"No bet wings." Apollo huffed just thinking about the image.
"Who are the other children in this photo?" Barbara Walters asked dramatically. "Who is the man with them? Is Percy Jackson a delinquent, a terrorist, or perhaps the brainwashed victim of a frightening new cult? When we come back, we chat with a leading child psychologist. Stay tuned, America."
"Wow they just have all sorts of theories." Chris sniggered.
"They sure get creative, don't they?" Percy laughed.
"C'mon," Grover told me. He hauled me away before I could punch a hole in the appliance-store window.
It got dark, and hungry-looking characters started coming out on the streets to play. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a New Yorker. I don't scare easy. But L.A. had a totally different feel from New York. Back home, everything seemed close. It didn't matter how big the city was, you could get anywhere without getting lost. The street pattern and the subway made sense. There was a system to how things worked. A kid could be safe as long as he wasn't stupid.
"Prissy is such a New Yorker." Clarisse sighed.
"Hey! Don't hate, New York's great!"
L.A. wasn't like that. It was spread out, chaotic, hard to move around. It reminded me of Ares. It wasn't enough for L.A. to be big; it had to prove it was big by being loud and strange and difficult to navigate, too. I didn't know how we were ever going to find the entrance to the Underworld by tomorrow, the summer solstice.
"Why does that match Ares almost perfectly?" Aphrodite wondered, many of the gods agreeing with her. It wasn't the first time any of them had felt the same. The fact that this young demigod could tell that much after meeting the War God twice? That spoke volumes.
We walked past gangbangers, bums, and street hawkers, who looked at us like they were trying to figure if we were worth the trouble of mugging.
As we hurried passed the entrance of an alley, a voice from the darkness said, "Hey, you."
Like an idiot, I stopped.
"No that's natural, Seaweed Brain." Annabeth joked.
"Yeah, well you don't seem to care." Percy smirked.
"Hmm, this is true."
"Oh gods, I can't believe I miss the days they weren't together." Travis moaned.
"No, we don't, stupid. It would be worse!" Connor smacked his brother.
Before I knew it, we were surrounded. A gang of kids had circled us. Six of them in all— white kids with expensive clothes and mean faces. Like the kids at Yancy Academy: rich brats playing at being bad boys.
Instinctively, I uncapped Riptide.
"After everything you went through just to get to L.A. I can't say I'm surprised that's your reaction." Sally exhaled.
When the sword appeared out of nowhere, the kids backed off, but their leader was either really stupid or really brave, because he kept coming at me with a switchblade.
I made the mistake of swinging.
The kid yelped. But he must've been one hundred percent mortal, because the blade passed harmlessly right through his chest. He looked down. "What the ..."
"Oh, so it's a natural reaction for you!?" Rachel screamed.
"Well sorry that normally I'm under attack when I have my sword out!" Percy yelled.
"That's not helping you as much as you think, Dingus!"
"Oi! Can you let me read?!" Dionysus boomed, shutting up the pair.
I figured I had about three seconds before his shock turned to anger. "Run!" I screamed at Annabeth and Grover.
We pushed two kids out of the way and raced down the street, not knowing where we were going. We turned a sharp corner.
"There!" Annabeth shouted.
Only one store on the block looked open, its windows glaring with neon. The sign above the door said something like CRSTUY'S WATRE BDE ALPACE.
"Crusty's Water Bed Palace?" Grover translated.
"Oh, I forgot about this." Percy said.
"I sure didn't." Grover moaned.
"Me neither." Annabeth agreed.
"Oh, right." The son of Poseidon mumbled.
It didn't sound like a place I'd ever go except in an emergency, but this definitely qualified.
We burst through the doors, ran behind a water bed, and ducked. A split second later, the gang kids ran past outside.
"I think we lost them," Grover panted.
A voice behind us boomed, "Lost who?"
We all jumped.
Standing behind us was a guy who looked like a raptor in a leisure suit. He was at least seven feet tall, with absolutely no hair. He had gray, leathery skin, thick-lidded eyes, and a cold, reptilian smile. He moved toward us slowly, but I got the feeling he could move fast if he needed to.
"I hate how accurate that description is." Annabeth shuddered.
"It's a gift." Her boyfriend could only shrug.
"Why does that description sound so familiar?" Hermes wondered.
His suit might've come from the Lotus Casino. It belonged back in the seventies, big-time. The shirt was silk paisley, unbuttoned halfway down his hairless chest. The lapels on his velvet jacket were as wide as landing strips. The silver chains around his neck—I couldn't even count them.
"I'm Crusty," he said, with a tartar-yellow smile.
"Why does he sound much worse than the one from The Simpsons?" Travis whined.
"Because he was." The trio deadpan, not making the parents and Chiron feel any better.
I resisted the urge to say, Yes, you are.
Snorts of laughter erupt from some of the listeners, even Dionysus had to stifle himself at the kid's sarcasm.
"Oh man, Perce. I will never get tired of that sarcasm of yours!" Connor guffawed.
"Thank you, thank you it's a gift." Percy playfully bowed to the room.
"Sorry to barge in," I told him. "We were just, um, browsing."
"You mean hiding from those no-good kids," he grumbled. "They hang around every night. I
get a lot of people in here, thanks to them. Say, you want to look at a water bed?"
I was about to say No, thanks, when he put a huge paw on my shoulder and steered me deeper into the showroom.
"Oh gods, I can already tell this is not where you wanna be." Chris sighed.
"Unfortunately, you are correct." Annabeth groaned, rubbing at her neck.
There was every kind of water bed you could imagine: different kinds of wood, different patterns of sheets; queen-size, king-size, emperor-of-the-universe-size.
"This is my most popular model." Crusty spread his hands proudly over a bed covered with black satin sheets, with built-in Lava Lamps on the headboard. The mattress vibrated, so it looked like oil-flavored Jell-O.
"Sounds nice?" Rachel wondered; confusion obvious.
"Million-hand massage," Crusty told us. "Go on, try it out. Shoot, take a nap. I don't care. No business today, any-way.
"Um," I said, "I don't think ..."
"Million-hand massage!" Grover cried, and dove in. "Oh, you guys! This is cool."
"Bad idea Garrett." The Wine God paused in his reading.
"Yes sir, Mr. D." the satyr ducked his head.
"Hmm," Crusty said, stroking his leathery chin. "Almost, almost."
"Almost what?" I asked.
He looked at Annabeth. "Do me a favor and try this one over here, honey. Might fit."
Annabeth said, "But what—"
He patted her reassuringly on the shoulder and led her over to the Safari Deluxe model with teakwood lions carved into the frame and a leopard-patterned comforter. When Annabeth didn't want to lie down, Crusty pushed her.
"Rude!"
"Oh, it gets worse, just wait." Grover bleated.
"Hey!" she protested.
Crusty snapped his fingers. "Ergo!"
Ropes sprang from the sides of the bed, lashing around Annabeth, holding her to the mattress.
Grover tried to get up, but ropes sprang from his black-satin bed, too, and lashed him down.
"N-not c-c-cool!" he yelled, his voice vibrating from the million-hand massage. "N-not c-cool a-at all!"
"Ooohhh, this guy." Apollo snapped his fingers figuring it out. "Forgot about him."
Apparently, Poseidon had also figured out the identity of this monster as well, judging by the grimace on his face.
The giant looked at Annabeth, then turned toward me and grinned. "Almost, darn it."
I tried to step away, but his hand shot out and clamped around the back of my neck. "Whoa, kid. Don't worry. We'll find you one in a sec."
"Let my friends go."
"Oh, sure I will. But I got to make them fit, first."
"What do you mean?"
"All the beds are exactly six feet, see? Your friends are too short. Got to make them fit."
"Hey, why six feet?" Nico asked.
"Surprisingly, that is one answer we don't have." Hades answered his son, "We never really understood why either."
"And I wasn't going to wait longer than necessary and question him." Percy added.
"What do you mean longer than necessary?" Athena growled, seeming to catch on to the boy's thought.
"It's fine mother. Percy did the best he could, honestly." Annabeth tried to sooth her.
"That is not helping daughter."
"Hey! I felt bad about what happened, still do in fact, but there wasn't much I could do!"
"I'm still so confused." Will muttered.
"Just give it a sec, I figure it out who he is pretty fast."
Annabeth and Grover kept struggling.
"Can't stand imperfect measurements," Crusty muttered. "Ergo!"
A new set of ropes leaped out from the top and bottom of the beds, wrapping around Grover and Annabeth's ankles, then around their armpits. The ropes started tightening, pulling my friends from both ends.
"Ah, Procrustes." Sally nodded, surprisingly not as stressed as she has been with other monsters in this quest. All things considered The Stretcher wasn't all that dangerous.
The goddesses could only look to the mortal woman with well hidden awe. They were impressed with this mortal, who was so willing to learn about their world just to protect her son.
Poseidon could only hunker down in his seat more, receiving a soft squeeze from Percy while Tyson snuggled back into his side.
"Don't worry Daddy, Percy saves Pretty Girl and Goat Boy from mean brother." Tyson innocently stated.
"Don't worry," Crusty told me, "These are stretching jobs. Maybe three extra inches on their spines. They might even live. Now why don't we find a bed you like, huh?"
"Percy!" Grover yelled.
My mind was racing. I knew I couldn't take on this giant water-bed salesman alone. He would snap my neck before I ever got my sword out.
"Man, your assessment of battle situations is amazing." Will awed.
"One of the few things I like about you Prissy." Clarisse ribbed him.
"Your real name's not Crusty, is it?" I asked.
"Legally, it's Procrustes," he admitted.
"The Stretcher," I said. I remembered the story: the giant who'd tried to kill Theseus with excess hospitality on his way to Athens.
"Yeah," the salesman said. "But who can pronounce Procrustes? Bad for business. Now 'Crusty,' anybody can say that."
"You're right. It's got a good ring to it."
His eyes lit up. "You think so?"
"Oh us, what are you doing?!" Athena yelled.
"He's doing the smartest thing he can, appealing to that monster's over-inflated sense of ego." Chiron bluntly stated, supporting his camper the only way he could presently.
Luckily for Percy, who could see the Wisdom Goddess reaching for her blade, Athena decided to hold off on hurting the boy until she heard more.
"Oh, absolutely," I said. "And the workmanship on these beds? Fabulous!"
He grinned hugely, but his fingers didn't loosen on my neck. "I tell my customers that. Every time. Nobody bothers to look at the workmanship. How many built-in Lava Lamp headboards have you seen?"
"Not too many."
"That's right!"
"Percy!" Annabeth yelled. "What are you doing?"
"Sorry Seaweed Brain."
"It's fine. You were panicking, it's understandable you'd be upset at me."
"Still…"
"It's fine, Wise Girl. We'll call it even with how you got us past Cerberus." Percy whispered in her ear.
"Fine."
"Don't mind her," I told Procrustes. "She's impossible."
The giant laughed. "All my customers are. Never six feet exactly. So inconsiderate. And then they complain about the fitting."
"What do you do if they're longer than six feet?"
"Oh, that happens all the time. It's a simple fix."
He let go of my neck, but before I could react, he reached behind a nearby sales desk and brought out a huge double-bladed brass axe. He said, "I just center the subject as best I can and lop off whatever hangs over on either end."
"What the fu-" The Stolls were cut off by a hand slapping over their mouths from their brother and father.
"I don't even want to think about what that looks like." Chris shook his head.
"Ah," I said, swallowing hard. "Sensible."
"I'm so glad to come across an intelligent customer!"
The ropes were really stretching my friends now. Annabeth was turning pale. Grover made gurgling sounds, like a strangled goose.
"So, Crusty ..." I said, trying to keep my voice light. I glanced at the sales tag on the valentine shaped Honeymoon Special. "Does this one really have dynamic stabilizers to stop wave motion?"
"Absolutely. Try it out."
"Yeah, maybe I will. But would it work even for a big guy like you? No waves at all?"
"Guaranteed."
"Oh, I get it!" Nico cheered, "False sense of security strategy!"
"Hey! Your dork game is paying off Neeks!" Percy beamed at the boy.
"Yeah! Hey, wait a minute!" the son of Hades grumbled leading to laughter from the campers.
"No way."
"Way."
"Show me."
He sat down eagerly on the bed, patted the mattress. "No waves. See?"
"Holy crap, he actually fell for it." Will huffed out a laugh.
Poseidon could only beam with pride and ruffle his son's hair.
I snapped my fingers. "Ergo."
Ropes lashed around Crusty and flattened him against the mattress.
"Hey!" he yelled.
"Center him just right," I said.
The ropes readjusted themselves at my command. Crusty's whole head stuck out the top. His feet stuck out the bottom.
"No!" he said. "Wait! This is just a demo."
I uncapped Riptide. "A few simple adjustments ..."
The gods felt rather incredulous. How could this monster be so gullible? They could understand his cockiness, after all many of themselves were as well, but to fall for such a simple trap? Just wow.
I had no qualms about what I was about to do. If Crusty were human, I couldn't hurt him anyway. If he was a monster, he deserved to turn into dust for a while.
"You drive a hard bargain," he told me. "I'll give you thirty percent off on selected floor models.'"
"I think I'll start with the top." I raised my sword.
"No money down! No interest for six months!"
I swung the sword. Crusty stopped making offers.
I cut the ropes on the other beds. Annabeth and Grover got to their feet, groaning and wincing and cursing me a lot.
"You look taller," I said.
"Very funny," Annabeth said. "Be faster next time."
I looked at the bulletin board behind Crusty's sales desk. There was an advertisement for Hermes Delivery Service, and another for the All-New Compendium of L.A. Area Monsters— "The only Monstrous Yellow Pages you'll ever need!" Under that, a bright orange flier for DOA Recording Studios, offering commissions for heroes' souls. "We are always looking for new talent!" DOA's address was right underneath with a map.
"Come on," I told my friends.
"Give us a minute," Grover complained. "We were almost stretched to death.'"
"Then you're ready for the Underworld," I said. "It's only a block from here."
"Your luck is insane. You literally enter a monster's lair, and it has information you just happen to need? What the heck! Why can't my luck be like that?" Thalia complains.
"I don't get it either Thals." Annabeth answers, "and I've been on almost every one of his quests.
Dionysus snaps the book shut hard startling everyone.
"Well that was tedious, who's gonna take this damn thing next?" The Wine God waves the book about.
"I'll take it Mr. D. Might as well have a turn." Connor raised his hand.
"You better not joke around much Conn, we're getting pretty close to the end." Percy pointed out.
"I won't, I wanna know how this ends man. I'm getting excited."
He son of Hermes opened up to the next chapter and laughed at the title.
"Gods, I hope this isn't what my brain automatically went to!"
AN: Again, sorry for how late this is. Hopefully the next chapter won't take too long for me to get out again, but my semester is starting again soon so fingers crossed. Thanks for reading.
As always I love reviews or if you prefer feel free to send me a PM. See y'all next time!