Chapter 119
Olivia sent Ava and Rafe to the office to check on everything. Other than emails and a few calls from Greg, Andrew, and Mr. Milson, their contractor in St. Louis, no one had checked in on their hotels since the trial started. She was feeling better this morning, after doing a few things for herself, and wanted to start to get their normal routine back. Emma went to school, on the bus, with Michael following and Olivia assured her two eldest that she or Natalia would call if anything happened with the trial before sending them on their way.
Doris needed to meet up with Mel, and Sam needed to get somethings from town and contact his employer about when he would be returning to work. Natalia called Rick after breakfast and arranged for him to see Olivia just before lunch. They were now sitting in a room at Cedars awaiting their beloved doctor.
Natalia noticed Olivia fidgeting as she sat on the exam table. Walking over, she placed a hand on her wife's fidgeting ones to calm her. "What's wrong baby? Why are you so nervous?"
"I don't k-know, I guess I'm w-worried about what he's g-going to say. W-why I'm not getting b-better." Olivia answered with her head bowed.
Natalia gently tilted her chin up so she could see those beautiful green eyes. "Hey, you are getting better honey. Maybe not as quickly as you would have liked, but love, you had so many injuries, you can't expect to heal overnight."
Olivia looked into her wife's eyes and sighed. She knew Natalia was right, but it had been nearly a month and she just wanted to be better. "I know that, but it's b-been a month Natalia. R-Rick said I would be b-better by now, and I'm n-not."
"Oh Olivia." She leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "You…" Before she could finish, the door opened and Rick stepped inside.
"Hello ladies. How is my favorite patient today?" He asked cheerfully as he stepped closer to Olivia and Natalia stepped to the side, holding Olivia's hand tightly.
"I'm…okay." Olivia answered.
"Just Okay? What's going on?"
"I…I just…I w-want to be better."
Rick glanced at Natalia for some sort or explanation. Olivia was improving nicely. He wasn't sure exactly what prompted their visit today since they weren't due until later in the week, but he would always make time for Olivia, she may be a pain in his ass most of the time, but she really was his favorite patient, not to mention a friend and someone he cared deeply for.
Natalia shook her head and inclined it towards Olivia, indicating he needed to ask her.
Rick gave a slight nod and returned his attention to his patient. "Okay. Why don't you tell me what brings you in today, you weren't due back for another couple of days?"
"I, you said I w-would be better at f-four weeks, but I'm not. W-why am I still stuttering so m-much, and why am I s-still in so much p-pain?" Anger bubbled out of her as she answered his question. "I s-still can't do much by myself R-Rick. I…" She trailed off, unsure whether she wanted to say more or not.
And Rick instantly understood. Olivia wasn't one to rely on other people, he had witnessed as much during her recovery after her heart transplant. Now she was at the mercy of others once again. Even though she and Natalia were married now, it didn't make much difference to Olivia. She was a strong independent woman and she didn't want to need people to do things for her.
"Olivia, I know this is hard for you. I would worry if it wasn't, however, I said no such thing. I said your recovery time was four to six weeks, and that it could take longer, especially your speech. Your injuries were very severe Olivia. You basically had two different concussions. Your ribs weren't just bruised or fractured, they were broken Olivia, not to mention the other more minor injuries. It's going to take time, but you are improving. Olivia, your speech is so much better. I have complete faith that in a few more weeks it will be completely back to normal. And from what Natalia told me this morning, you're walking more on you own, with and without your cane. I know it's hard, but, you have to take pride in the progress you have made and not focus on the things you're still struggling with."
Olivia blew out a breath. "I know. I j-just, I want to be back in m-my own room Rick. I w-want to tuck Emma into h-her bed. I want…I w-want my life back."
"I understand. How about I get your physical therapist down here, and we can assess your walking and see if you're ready to tackle the stairs, okay? I've already talked to your speech path and as long as you keep doing the exercises she gave you at home, she no longer feels you have to see her unless I feel it's necessary, and, at the moment, I don't. So, I'll call David and we'll see about those stairs." At Olivia's nod, Rick stepped out to call the physical therapist and give Olivia a moment to collect herself again.
As soon as the door shut behind Rick, Natalia stepped back in front of Olivia. "See my love, you are improving."
"Not enough." Olivia huffed.
Natalia tried not to roll her eyes at her wife's childish behavior, but at the moment, she was having flashbacks of Olivia in the early days after her transplant, and she just wanted to smack the crap out of her for being so negative. "Let's just see what David says okay. He said last week that you were doing much better, and you've been working on the steps here. Can you just…" She cut herself off, not wanting to upset Olivia anymore then she already was. The fight they had the previous night wasn't something she wanted to repeat right now.
"Can I j-just what Natalia?" Olivia asked with distain, pulling her hand away from Natalia's grasp and leaning back away from her.
Natalia reached for her and sighed when Olivia pulled away from her. "Olivia…" Just then, the door opened and Rick and David walked in. Causing Natalia to step away from her wife and take the seat beside her.
"Hello Olivia. How are you feeling today?" David asked.
"I'm…here." Olivia answered.
"Well, that's better than some people. So, Rick tells me you think you're ready to tackle your stairs at home."
"Yes. I t-think I am."
"I'm inclined to agree. You've been making great progress here. How about we go for a walk and we'll try an actual flight of stairs here. Sound good?"
Olivia nodded and reached for Natalia to help her down from the table. Feeling a little bad for the way she just acted towards her. Natalia didn't seem phased though, just stood from her chair and reached a hand to her wife, making sure she was steady on her feet before handing her the cane and stepping back.
"Alright, for this little adventure, I'd like Natalia to join us. I want the two of you to do what you'd do at home. Rick and I will stay behind you. We're going to walk down this hallway and take a left to the stairs; we'll go up one flight and then take return to your room. Sound good?"
"Let's do t-this." Olivia proclaimed as she walked out into the hallway.
As the four made their way to the stairs, Rick and David walking a few steps behind the women, Olivia leaned heavily on her cane and grabbed Natalia's hand with her free one. She laced their fingers together and squeezed, giving a small smile to her wife. She hoped Natalia understood the gesture for the apology it was after her earlier behavior. Natalia being very versed at reading Olivia understood and squeezed back, raising their hands to kiss the back of Olivia's as they reached the door to the stairs.
"Okay, you did very well Olivia. Now for the hard part." David said. "I would like you to do whatever is going to be most comfortable for you. If using the rail and your cane is best, do that, if using the rail and having Natalia assist you would be easier, then I would suggest doing that. This isn't about you proving anything to anyone, this is about nothing more than you reaching the top of the stairs. Okay?"
Olivia looked up to the top of the flight of stairs. It was more steps then theirs at home, and she was worried about failing and David telling her she couldn't return to her room yet. Then a flash came across her mind. A phone call from Rafe and her rushing to get the phone to Natalia at Ava's baby shower. If she could do a flight of stairs back then, then she could do it now. She took a deep breath and placed one hand on the rail and held tight to her cane with the other. She took the first few steps that way, but on the third step, she hissed in pain. Natalia wordlessly took the cane from her and wrapped her arm around Olivia's waist.
With Natalia's help, Olivia made it to the top of the stairs without too much pain and felt more proud of herself then she thought she would. Natalia quickly enveloped her in a tight hug whispering in her ear. "You did it baby. I am so proud of you." She kissed the spot just under Olivia's ear before pulling back and handing Olivia her cane as she opened the door for her.
The four rode the elevator down the one floor and made their way back to Olivia's room. The walk back was slower, and Olivia had to lean on Natalia instead of just hold her hand, but she made it. Her ribs were burning and she felt weak, but she had made the walk and climbed a flight of stairs. That was her goal and she had achieved it.
Once they were in the room, Natalia helped Olivia back onto the table and stood beside her squeezing her hand. "So, what's the verdict? Can she do the stairs at home? Can we get her back into our bedroom?"
"I believe so." David said with a smile. "As long as someone is there to assist her in ascending and descending the stairs. It's going to take time before she can do them on her own, but, I believe with help, she's fine to do them now." He turned his attention from Natalia to a smiling Olivia. "I would also like you to limit how many times you go up and down in a day. I would say no more than three times a day right now. You don't want to push yourself to hard."
"I agree." Rick said before Olivia could respond to David. "Your ribs are healing nicely, but, if you put too much strain on yourself, you could fracture one or more of them more easily now. They haven't quite healed all the way yet, and you still need to take it easy." Rick said pointedly.
"I got it R-Rick. Still a cripple, can't s-strain myself."
"Good. Anything else you ladies need today?"
"Um…" Olivia paused, afraid to push her luck with Rick.
As if reading her mind, Natalia picked up where Olivia left off. "What about work? Can Olivia return to the office now?"
"I would prefer she wait until after the trial is over. I've seen how stressed you are in the court room Olivia, and you keep pushing yourself to appear unaffected by Frank. I can see the toll it's taking on you, both physically and mentally. If you'd like, you can work from home for now, just a couple of hours a day though. Emails, maybe a few phone calls. You still need to rest. Clear?"
Olivia nodded. "You got it doc."
"Alright. Anything else before I send you on your way?"
Olivia looked first to David and then sheepishly at Natalia. Natalia smiled at her wife and gave her a very chaste kiss. "David, could you…we'd like to talk with Rick, in private."
"Oh, of course. I'll see you next week Olivia, and remember, pace yourself, and don't push yourself to do more than you can handle."
"Thank you D-David." He nodded and exited the room, closing the door softly behind him.
"So, now that we're alone, what's up?" Rick asked.
Olivia once again looked to Natalia, unable to voice her final question. It was so unlike her to feel shy talking about this subject, especially since she had so many times in the past with Rick, but for some reason, today she was. Natalia wasn't completely comfortable talking about such things, but at the pleading look in her wife's eyes, she cleared her throat and looked up at Rick.
"Sex." Was her one-word answer to his unasked question.
Rick sputtered a little. "What about it?"
"When can we…um…" Natalia said shyly.
"Oh…ooohhh. Well, Olivia still has some recovering to do, however, if you keep things…." He tilted his head back and forth, searching for the right words. "Light, I think she will be okay. I would suggest waiting another week or so for anything strenuous." He took a deep breath before continuing, this wasn't his first time discussing the subject with the couple. They had this conversation every time something happened with Olivia's heart, but it was the first time he would be giving them advise on positions. "It would be best to stick to positions easy for Olivia. Ones where she is on her back or her good side and Natalia, you can't put too much weight on her. As I said earlier, her ribs are still fragile, too much weight against them, or too strenuous of activities could cause them to fracture, or even break again. I would also suggest keeping things…short…" At Olivia's chuckle, he re-worded. "Quick. We clear?"
Olivia and Natalia both looked down like embarrassed teenagers. "Yup." "Yeah." They said in unison.
"Okay then. I think we're all set here. Have you heard anything about when the verdict will come through? I've been trying to be at the hearing as much as possible, but, doctor, I do listen to the trial though." He held up his headphones, indicating to them that's how he was doing so.
"Not yet." Natalia answered. "Doris said she or Mel would call us when the jury made a decision and we would be called back to court. Could be today, could be in a week."
"Well, you two let me know if you need anything. Okay?"
"Thanks Rick, we will."
"Thank you Rick. I a-appreciate you getting us in e-early."
"Of course. You ladies have a good day."
Once Rick was out the door, Olivia pulled Natalia to stand between her legs and kissed her soundly. The two kissed long and hard. Mouths meeting in a flurry of lips, tongues, and teeth. Hands slid into hair and down backs. As Olivia slid her hands under the hem of Natalia's shirt, Natalia pulled back. She gave Olivia another quick peck and took both her hands in her own as she pressed their foreheads together.
"Just because Rick said we could, doesn't mean we should right now. I don't want our first time after everything to be here, on an exam table."
Olivia leaned forward and kissed her wife sweetly. "You're right. I'm s-sorry I got carried away. I just m-miss you."
"I miss you too baby, don't apologies. How about we go grab some lunch at Company, stop by The Beacon to tell the kids the good news, and then we can spend the afternoon together while we wait for Emma to get off the bus."
"Mmm. Sounds g-good."
After one more kiss, Natalia helped Olivia down from the exam table and the two made their way out to their car and headed over to Company. Walking in, all heads turned as the bell above the door to Company chimed. It was Olivia's first time out other than to the doctor or the courthouse. Mummers could be heard throughout the establishment, but the two Spencer-Rivera women ignored them and took a seat at their usual booth.
"Good afternoon you two. It's nice to see you out and about." Blake said with her usually bubbly disposition.
"Afternoon Blake. How are you?" Natalia asked.
"I'm good. And how are the two of you?"
"We're good. Wonderful actually. Olivia just had another excellent doctor's appointment, and she can start using the stairs again. So, this weekend, we're going to switch back to our bedroom."
"That's great news. I'm so happy for you Olivia. I had heard that the kids fixed up your downstairs office to use as a bedroom for now, I bet you'll both be happy to get back into your room."
"Thank you B-Blake. Yes they did. And as w-wonderful as it was of t-them to do that, I'll be g-glad to be back in my own r-room." Olivia said with a smile.
"Alright, what can I get for you ladies?"
"We'll have two Buzz burgers and a basket of onion rings with iced tea." Natalia answered.
"Ooo, you must really be happy with her progress if your allowing her a Buzz burger."
"I am. I am so proud of her." Natalia answered as she leaned over and placed a kiss to Olivia's cheek. "She is doing wonderfully."
"I am so glad. I'll go place your order and be back with your drinks."
No sooner had Blake left the table did a familiar face take the seat across from them. He looked a little worried, but also happy to see them. "How are two of my favorite beauties on this fine day?" Buzz asked with his ever-charming smile.
"Good. How are y-you old man?" Olivia asked.
Buzz shook his head back and forth. "I'm…as good as can be expected. It's good to see you two back in my humble restaurant."
"I'm so s-sorry Buzz. I n-never meant for any of t-this to happen."
Buzz reached over and took Olivia's hand. "Now you stop that. You have nothing to apologize for. Frank is the one who owes an apology, not you." Wanting to change the subject, Buzz pat her hand and released it. "So, you went to see Dr. Rick this morning, seems that went well?"
"It did. I'm c-cleared to start using the s-stairs at home again, a-among other things." She stated, a slight blush tinting her cheeks. "And I c-can do some w-work from home, as long a-as I still rest and d-don't overdo it."
"I'm glad to hear it. I know you and sitting around doing nothing except for going to the trial is driving you more crazy then you already are." He said with a cocky smile.
"Yes it is. It'll b-be nice to get s-some work done again. We still h-have a lot going on and I j-just want things to get back t-to normal."
"I'm sure they will. Have you heard when we'll be back in court for the verdict?"
"Not yet. Doris s-said she or M-Mel would call. We're j-just trying to have a somewhat n-normal day to keep our m-minds off it."
"I think that's a good idea. I'll let you ladies enjoy your lunch. You let me know if you need anything." He said as he stood from the table.
Both women smiled up at him. "Thank you Buzz." Natalia said with a smile, taking Olivia's hand and lacing their fingers as Blake wordlessly set down their drinks and followed Buzz back to the kitchen. "So, seriously, how are you feeling querida?"
Olivia took a sip of her tea and looked into Natalia's deep mocha eyes. "I'm good h-honey. Really. Thank you f-for arranging an appointment with R-rick today. And I'm s-sorry for being angry w-with you yesterday, and t-today." Shamed filled her face at those last words and she dropped her eyes to the table.
Natalia kissed her temple and eased her head back up to look at her. "It's fine honey. I know you're going through a lot. With the trial, and your recovery, you just want our life back to normal. I do too. I'm not upset with you mi amor. So please, stop beating yourself up. Today is a good day. We got good news from David and Rick, and we don't have to spend the day in a stuffy court room with Frank. Let's focus on enjoying our day today, tomorrow we can go back to worrying and stressing, today, today I just want to enjoy having some real time with you. Is that okay?"
Olivia placed a kiss to her wife's lips and smiled against them. "That sounds w-wonderful."
Blake walked up to the table and set down their burgers and onion rings. "Here you go ladies. Enjoy, and let me know if you need anything else."
"Thanks." "Thank you Blake." The two said together.
After enjoying a nice lunch together, the wives made a quick stop at The Beacon to give their children an update on Olivia and to make sure nothing needed their attention. Natalia grabbed a few files for them to work on at home that evening or the next and the two made their way home to have some cuddle time on the couch while the house was empty. Natalia even text Sam and asked him to give them until four when Emma got home.
The two sat together on the couch wrapped in each other's arms, a fire going in the fireplace, and hot chocolate in hand. They chose to leave the tv off and instead gazed at each other, sharing soft caresses and gentle kisses for the better part of an hour. Eventually Olivia grew tired after so much activity that morning and the two retired to their downstairs bedroom for a nap.
Waking a little over an hour later, Natalia smiled as she felt Olivia's hand pressed to the bare skin of her tummy. It wasn't that it was new, or even that it hadn't occurred since the incident, it was the fact that they could take things further, should they so choose, that had Natalia smiling and blushing slightly. She really had no desire to cross that line yet. Yes, she missed making love to her wife, more than words could accurately express, but the timing didn't feel right. She wanted something more than an afternoon quickie. She wanted long and slow love making. She wanted it to be in their room, in their bed, and she wanted it to be when she knew the nightmare they had been living was finally over. She wouldn't deny Olivia if she pushed for sex before the verdict, but she really hoped Olivia felt the same way she did and that they would wait.
As her thoughts turned towards their bedroom upstairs, and whether or not she would actually be able to return to that room, Olivia stirred in their embrace and placed a soft kiss to the base of Natalia's neck. "What are y-you thinking so loudly a-about sweetheart?"
Natalia turned to her back so she could look at her wife. She smiled and kissed the tip of Olivia's nose. "Nothing my love. How was your nap?"
"Mmm. Always g-good when you're w-with me."
"Me too." Natalia glanced at the clock. "We should get up soon. It's quarter after three, Emma's bus will be here in less than an hour."
Olivia tightened the arm laying across Natalia's waist. "Five more m-minutes."
Natalia chuckled and snuggled further into her wife. "Always my love." She murmured as she placed a kiss to the side of Olivia's neck.
Almost exactly five minutes later, Olivia turned to her back and groaned. "Baby, can you g-get me my pills p-please?"
Natalia sat up and grabbed the pill bottle and a water handing them both to Olivia and helping her to sit up. "Are you hurting honey?"
Olivia swallowed the pain medicine and half the bottle of water. "A little. It's n-not too bad."
"Well, that's your first Vicodin of the day, so I'd say you're doing much better." She said as she took the water bottle back and kissed her love's lips. "You ready to get up now?"
Olivia nodded. "Yeah. I uh, I w-want to go to our room b-before Emma gets home. If t-that's okay."
Standing from the bed, Natalia brought her hair back into a loose ponytail and nodded. "Um, yeah, we can do that I guess." She really wasn't sure she wanted to without anyone else home. She had only been up there once since Phillip had it cleaned, and although it was easier to be up there without the mess, it was still hard not to see what Olivia had lived through in that room, if she was honest, she really wasn't sure she wanted to have their room back, but Olivia did, so she would try.
Sensing something was wrong, Olivia scoot to the edge of the bed and reached for Natalia's hand, bringing her to stand between her legs. She wrapped her arms around her middle and kissed her stomach. "What's wrong s-sweetheart?"
Natalia laced her fingers through Olivia's hair, lightly scraping her nails against her scalp. She thought about lying, or not saying anything, but she and Olivia had agreed to talk to one another, to stop bottling things up, so, with a deep sigh, she went with honesty. "I'm a little afraid to go up there without anyone being home. You haven't been up there yet, and the first time I went, well, it didn't go so well."
Sensing there was more, Olivia rest her chin on Natalia's stomach and looked up at her. "And?"
Natalia sighed again. "And I'm not sure I'll ever be able to stay in that room without thinking about what happened to you."
Olivia understood where Natalia was coming from her. She had her own moments of doubt where their bedroom was concerned. What was once their sanctuary, their safe haven from the world, now held painful memories, however, she decided that not moving back into their room would somehow be letting Frank win, and she'd be damned if that would ever happen. She and Natalia would make new happy memories in their room again. They would return it to the safe space it was meant to be.
"Honey, I know w-what you're thinking. And it's n-not true."
"And what exactly am I thinking Olivia?" Natalia asked with more bite then she meant to.
"You're th-thinking that our room isn't s-safe anymore. T-that you won't be able to b-be in there because all you'll b-be able to see is the h-horrible things that transpired there."
"How can I think about or see anything else in that room Olivia. My wife and son both almost died in that room."
Olivia brought her hands to Natalia's waist and tugged until she sat next to her on the bed. She took both Natalia's hands in her own and brought them to her chest, as Natalia had done so many times for her. "Look at me N-Natalia." Once Natalia met her eyes, she continued. "I know it's n-not going to be easy. I h-have thought the same t-things you're thinking. I know I h-haven't been up there yet, and I know it's d-different for me because it's been c-cleaned now and I w-won't have to see the mess, but sw-sweetheart, we will make it s-safe again. We will make it a h-happy place again. You and me h-honey. This is our h-home and that is o-our room, and I'll be d-damned if Frank Cooper k-keeps us from feeling safe and l-loved, and warm in our own h-house, in our own r-room.."
"How Olivia? How are we ever going to see anything other then what he did to you when we go in there?"
Olivia kissed her sweetly and pressed their foreheads together. "We'll make n-new memories baby. W-we'll hold each other e-every night, we'll have t-tickle wars with Emma. We'll h-have all the kids p-pile in with us. We'll sl-sleep in late on Saturdays, a-and we'll make love the w-way only we can, with more l-love and more passion then I h-have ever known. T-that's how we'll m-move on. We will n-never forget sweetheart, b-but we will move past t-this."
"I want to Olivia. I love our house, and our room with our perfect bathroom and custom closet. I just…I don't know if I can."
"Can we t-try? If it's too m-much, if either one of us c-can't do it, then we'll f-figure something else out."
Natalia kissed her then, letting some of her tension and apprehension leave her body. "We can try, but can we wait until later, when the kids and Doris and Sam are here? Just in case. Maybe put Emma to bed tonight and then go in there."
Olivia pressed their lips together again. "We can d-do that."
"Thank you querida."
"Anything for y-you my love. Now h-how about we go g-get Emma's snack ready and c-cuddle up on the couch w-while we wait for her."
"Sounds like a plan. I love you Olivia, so much."
"I love y-you too sweetheart. W-with all of my s-second hand heart."
Natalia smiled as she fused their mouths together again. This time allowing her tongue to skate across Olivia's bottom lip until she opened to her. Their tongues met in a familiar dance. Both women pulling the other one in closer, tighter. They ended up laying back on the bed, both on their sides with their bodies completely aligned without ever breaking the kiss, in fact, it deepened. This kiss was for healing, for pushing all the bad memories to the back of their minds and committing to making new and wonderful memories together, with their family, the way only the Spencer-Rivera's could.