Chapter 133
Natalia and Olivia walked out of the room hand in hand and Natalia's breath caught in her chest as her mother stood from the couch. "Mama." The whisper was barely audible as she released Olivia's hand and was quickly enveloped in her mother's arms.
"Natalia." Clara sobbed as she clung to her daughter. "Te he echado mucho menos. (I have missed you so very much.)" She whispered in her ear as she kissed her cheek and pulled back from the hug, taking both of her daughters hands in her own. "You have grown so much mija." She said as she cupped her cheek in one hand.
"Mama. I, I don't know what to say. I can't believe you're here. You're really here."
"I am mija. Your Olivia brought me here and I am so very grateful." She stated, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Is it okay, that I'm here?"
Natalia wasn't sure how to respond to that. She was worried about why her mother had decided to come. Even though just the minute she had been with her already felt completely different than being in the same room as her father again. She still wasn't sure exactly why Clara had decided to come, and the fear of more hateful words being thrown at her made her hesitant.
"That depends. Why are you here mama?" She questioned sternly.
Clara shot Olivia a quick glance, receiving a look that told her to tread lightly. Taking a deep breath through her nose, she looked her daughter square in the eyes. "I am here for no other reason than to try and get to know my daughter again. If you will allow it. I know I have a lot to make up for and that I made many mistakes all those years ago, but I am here now, begging you to give me a second chance. Even if I'll never be your mother again, I'd like to be something to you."
The emotions swirling in Natalia's head almost made her dizzy. Memory after memory from her childhood flashed before her eyes as she stood there in front if the woman who had birthed her, raised her for sixteen years. The woman who had sowed dresses for her and taught her to cook. The woman who tucked her in every night until she was eleven and decided she was too old for such a thing. The woman who soothed every fever and kissed every wound better. The same woman who wasn't there for her when she needed her most. She wasn't there when she was pregnant, the day she gave birth, when she found out Rafe had diabetes or when he said his first word.
As she looked into the familiar eyes of her mother, she knew she had no other choice then to give her a second chance. She had made her own mistakes as a mother, not to mention the grave mistake she had made with Olivia not even a year ago. Forgiveness was the right thing to do. It's what God would want her to do, and Olivia bringing her here meant she thought Natalia should give her a chance too. Sighing, she finally answered her mother's plea. "You will always be my mother mama. And I am willing to talk to you, but I can't promise anything beyond that."
"That's more then I deserve and all I can ask for."
Olivia placed a hand on the small of her wife's back and gave a tight smile to her mother-in-law. "Let's sit shell we. I'll call down for some coffee."
"Yes, let's sit." Natalia agreed. "Could you maybe get me some tea instead of coffee?"
"Of course. Clara, would you like tea or coffee?"
"Tea would be nice thank you." Clara answered as she returned to where she had been seated before Natalia came out of the room. Olivia moving to the phone and Natalia sitting on the loveseat. "Rafael is a wonderful young man Natalia. You did an excellent job with him. Far better than your father and I did." She said, looking guilty.
Choosing to ignore that she focused on her son. "Thank you. Things weren't always easy for Rafe and me, but we made it work."
"He spoke of his sisters as well. I would love to meet them. I'm sure they are just as wonderful as he is."
Natalia couldn't help but smile as she thought of her daughters. "That they are. Ava looks like her father, but she is all Olivia. And Emma, my little angel that one. She is Olivia's mini me in every way, although, she has picked up a little from me over the past couple of years."
Olivia grabbed a photo from the desk of their children as she joined Natalia on the love seat. The picture had been taken by Doris while Olivia was still recovering. She had caught the kids in the middle of a tickle war on Olivia and Natalia's double queen bed. Rafe flat on his back in the middle of the bed, Ava tickling his feet, Emma sat on his stomach tickling his sides, all of them with huge happy smiles. She handed the photo to Clara and sat back down. "All three of them have picked up Natalia's snark. Especially when aimed at me."
Clara took the photo and stared into the faces of her grandchildren, wishing more than ever that she had never let Natalia go and had been there from the start for Rafe, and for Ava and Emma, who she could now clearly see was biologically Olivia's, since the beginning of Natalia and Olivia's relationship.
"They are all very beautiful. You have a wonderful family Natalia. I can tell already."
"How can you tell that?"
"Well, you have a partner that was willing to send your son for your mother even after what happened this morning, and from the conversation we had before I came up here, she will stop at nothing to keep you happy and protected. Just looking at the two of you I can see the love you clearly have, and from the way Rafael spoke of his family, it's clear to see your love overflows into your children."
Natalia was looking at Olivia as she spoke. "Thank you mama. I love Olivia and our children more than I ever thought was possible." She turned to look back at her mother, smiling as she laced her fingers with Olivia's.
"I'm so glad you finally found the family you have always wanted. I know I did nothing to help you, but I am so proud of you."
"It took a long time to get here, but every hurdle I had to face was worth it." She stated, looking at Olivia once more.
"I feel the same." Olivia offered, blowing her wife an air kiss as she stood to get the door when room service knocked. She handed a cup of tea to both raven-haired women and then mixed a spoonful of sugar into her coffee before sitting back down. "So, Clara, as I'm sure you've figured out, I'm not one to beat around the bush. You came here to do something, and I think it's time you did. After that we will see where things are."
Natalia glanced at Olivia curiously. "Olivia…"
"Your mother has something she would like to say to you, and I think it best she does so before we continue."
Before Natalia could say another word, Clara spoke up. "She's right mija. I…"
Her words were cut off by the phone ringing. Olivia went to answer and was holding it out to Natalia almost instantly. "Emma needs to hear for herself that you're okay before she goes to the pool and then out for pizza with Jane. She finally agreed to allow Jane to take her over to spend the night with Payton, but only after she knows her mama is okay."
Natalia rushed to the phone, wanting to ease her daughters fears quickly. "Hello my angel…yes, I'm fine sweetie….I know I was upset, but I'm okay now….Yes, I think you should go with Jane to the pool, only for an hour though because you need to go eat and get to your daddy's….I know he's not home but Payton and Beth are waiting for you…Okay baby, call me before bed…I promise I'll answer…Yes, I'll read to you over the phone…I love you too sweetie. Be good for Jane and for Beth and mommy or I will pick you up tomorrow after school…Yes, you have to go to school…No Emma, you've missed enough already. You will go to school just like Payton…Yes baby, mommy and I can come get you together tomorrow…Okay. I love you too. Bye baby." Hanging up the phone, she let out an exasperated breath. "She gets that from you ya know?"
Olivia rose her hand to her chest in mock shock. "Me?"
"Yes you. Trying to talk her way out of going to school tomorrow."
"Hey, as I recall, I've been begging to be allowed back to work for several weeks."
"Yes, but you like to use that charm of yours to try and get out of plenty of other things, and she is just like you."
"Better me then Phillip."
"Touché." Just as Natalia was sitting back down, there was another knock at the door just before it burst open and she found her lap filled with an excited Emma.
"Mama, Jane said I could do cannon balls if no one at the pool minds, and she said we can get Pizza from Buzz with extra, extra cheese."
Natalia squeezed her youngest tight, glad to see her back to her old self so quickly. "She did. I bet you will have lots of fun."
"Yup, and I called Beth and she said Payton and me can sleep in the big living room and watch movies as long as we promise to go to bed on time. And she said she's making us Sundays if I get there before seven."
"Are you sure you have time to swim and go to Company?"
"Yup. Jane said swim for thirty minutes and she would call Buzz so we can pick up the pizza on the way to daddy's and Beth said that was fine."
"Haven't you had enough ice cream today?" Olivia interrupted, threading her fingers over Emma's ponytail.
"Mommy, you can never have too much ice cream."
Olivia locked eyes with her wife. "And she gets that from you." She said pointedly.
Natalia chuckled and squeezed Emma once more. "Yes, yes she does." She kissed Emma's head and then released her. "Okay sweetie, you better go so you're not late getting over to your daddy's."
"Okay mama. I just wanted to come and give you a hug goodnight before I leave and Jane said it was better to come now before I get all wet at the pool."
"Good call." Natalia replied, looking over at Jane as she said it. "Thank you for being here for her today Jane."
"Of course, Mrs. Spencer-Rivera."
"Alright, you two better get going." Olivia stated, hugging her daughter, and kissing her head. "I love you bean. Be good for Beth tonight, and don't give her any problems about going to school tomorrow."
"I won't mommy, I promise." As she turned to leave, she finally took notice of the other adult in the room. "Who are you? You look like mama and aunt Isabel."
"I'm…"
"She's someone we will discuss tomorrow, after school." Natalia interjected. "Now scoot, so you can have ice cream with Payton."
"But…"
"Jellybean." Olivia said sternly. "Listen to your ma. Go with Jane and we'll talk about it tomorrow."
"Fine." Emma grumbled as she stomped to the door, Jane following behind her.
"I'll call you once I've dropped her off with Mrs. Spaulding." Jane said on her way out.
"Thank you Jane. We'll settle up for today tomorrow."
"No problem."
Once the door shut behind Jane, Natalia looked to Olivia. "Her mood sure turned sour fast."
"Oh, she's fine. You know how she is about not knowing what's going on. She'll forget all about it by the time she gets to Beth's."
"I hope so. I'd hate for Beth to have to pay for our family drama."
"I'm sorry my being here upset her." Clara said softly.
"No, mama, it's not you. Emma is very much like her mother; thinks she needs to know everything." Natalia assured her.
"Hey." Olivia said in mock offense.
"Don't hey me, miss I know everything that goes on in my hotels and won't have it any other way."
Olivia could only pout at that. "Yeah, yeah."
Natalia kissed her cheek before turning back to her mother. "You were saying something mama."
Clara cleared her throat. In truth, she had been happy for the interruption since she had no clue what she was going to say. Deciding that just speaking from the heart was the best course of action, she started again. "Yes. Natalia, I need you to know that my biggest regret in life will forever be the day I allowed your father to remove you from our home." Tears welled in her eyes as she spoke and she made no move to wipe them away.
"I failed you as a mother that day, and every day since. I could give you a million excuses for allowing that to happen. Reasons I have told myself over and over as the years past. Things I told myself to try and assuage the guilt, but none of them are true. There is no excuse for a mother to turn her back on her child. No justification can be given for not going after you, for not fighting for you to be able to stay, for not leaving with you and your siblings and finding a way to make it work as you did with your son. I cannot turn back the clock and change the past Natalia, nor would I want to anymore. As I told your son, God always has a plan, and I believe this was his plan for you. For you to find your Olivia and have this life, something you would not have if you had remained at home. That does not make it right, but nothing ever will. All I can ask is for your forgiveness, and for the chance to try and make up for all of my mistakes with you. A chance to be a part of your life, of your family." Tear tracks streaked her cheeks as more and more fell, but she refused to look away from her daughter, refused to not allow her middle child to see just how earnest her words were.
Natalia was crying too by the time she finished, Olivia rubbing her back and fighting tears of her own. Plainly able to see how pained the woman sitting before her was. She could see the regret, the shame, and the fear written across her face and in her caramel eyes. She had wished for her mother to apologize to her for never being the mother she should have been. Prayed that one day she would except her daughter for who she was, but that never happened and since she had been dead for thirty years now, it never would.
Natalia launched herself at her mother. Wrapping her arms around her tightly as they both wept. She had no idea how she was going to feel after her mother's words, but she never imagined it would be this. She felt nothing but love and forgiveness for the woman she had missed so much. She knew they still had plenty they needed to talk about, and that she needed to be open and honest with her mother about how much she had been hurt by her actions, or lack thereof, but right at this moment all she could do was hug her mother the way she had longed to for twenty long years.
Forgiveness was something that came naturally to her, and this was no different. Her mother would be given the second chance she was asking for. Mainly because she understood how her father was, how their culture was, and how their church was. Women were expected to blindly follow their husbands, and that's exactly what her mother had done. Now she was here and Natalia was grateful for it.
Pulling back from the embrace after several long moments, Natalia sat back on her heels, on the floor in front of her mother and took both of her hands. "I forgive you mama. It's not going to be easy, this, us, it's going to take a lot of hard work, and you have to understand that forgiveness and trust are two very different things. I forgive you because it's the right thing to do. It's the godly thing to do. However, trust is another matter entirely. I hope you can understand that you're going to have to earn that back from me. And, that this is going to take time."
Clara dabbed at her eyes with the tissue Olivia had handed her. "I do Natalia. I know things can never be the same for us, and I know that forming a relationship with you isn't going to happen overnight. But I will do anything to have this second chance with you. Whatever you ask me to do, I'll do it. I love you so much Natalia. Please know that I never stopped loving you, that I thought about you every day and prayed for you every night."
"I know mama. And I love you too."
The two embraced once more before Natalia went back to sit next to Olivia just as her phone beeped. Checking it, Olivia smiled and sent off a quick reply. "It was just Jane. She is headed to Company and then taking Emma to Beth's, she'll let us know after she drops her off."
"Speaking of our children, we should probably check on our eldest two."
"We should. Are you ready for them to come up? I don't know if Rafe told Isabel your mom was here or not. I don't know if he told either of them. I sent him to pry Ava from her office and join Isabel at Watershed before I took your mom to her room and then came up here."
"I think maybe I should speak with Isabel before she comes up here if he hasn't told her."
"Okay. I'll call Rafe and see if he's told them or not. We can decide what to do after that."
Natalia nodded. "Okay. Will you find out if they've eaten? If not we should call room service, Rafe needs to eat soon."
"Regardless of if he has, you need to eat. Have you eaten Mrs. Rivera?"
"I have not, though I'm not feeling very hungry at the moment." Clara answered.
"Mama, you need to eat. At least something small." She handed her the menu from the coffee table. "Here, please find something and we'll call down once we've heard from the kids and Isabel."
"Alright. Thank you mija."
Natalia nodded and reached for her now cold cup of tea, walking to the kitchenette to warm it back up. Olivia walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her, kissing the side of her neck and placing her chin on her shoulder.
"They ate downstairs. Rafe told them both, he said he couldn't hide it from Ava when they were face to face because she can tell when he's lying. I guess he's been ignoring her calls since he left for Chicago because I told him not to tell anyone where he was. They will be up in a few moments."
Natalia leaned into her wife, turning her head to steal a quick kiss. "Thank you my love."
"For what?"
"For bringing my mother here. I didn't realize how much I missed her until she was in front of me again. There is still a lot to work out, but I'm glad she's here."
Olivia glanced over at Clara who was watching them with curious but affectionate eyes. "Me too." She placed one more kiss to her neck before releasing her wife and going back to sit with her mother-in-law.
"You really love her don't you?" Clara asked.
"Yes, I do. I've never loved anyone the way I love her, she's my world."
"You seem young to have a child older the Rafael."
"I was young when I had her. Sixteen."
"Ah. So, you and my Natalia have that in common as well."
"No. Natalia raised Rafe from the moment he was born, I've only known Ava for a few years." At the questioning look in Clara's eyes, she explained. "I gave her up for adoption and we just found each other recently."
"Well, from what Rafael says, you are all very close. She must be happy to have found you."
"I believe she is, yes. And I am so grateful she has allowed me to be a part of her life. Lord knows I don't deserve it." She chuckled lightly, trying to ease the tension building within herself at the subject matter.
"I doubt…" Before Clara could finish, Rafe, Ava, and Isabel entered the suite. And Olivia had never been more grateful for her children then she was in that moment. She hadn't meant to say that last part out loud and had no intention of telling Mrs. Rivera, whom she'd just met, about her sorted past.
"Mama!" Isabel proclaimed as she embraced her mother swiftly. "I can't believe you came here."
"Me either to be honest."
"Does papa know?"
"I'm sure he does by now."
"Did you tell him?"
"No. I left that blasted cell phone as well. I didn't want him calling me repeatedly.
"I turned mine off once Olivia had him escorted from the hotel. I'm almost afraid to turn it back on. I'm sure he's left me several messages about your leaving."
Natalia greeted her children with a kiss on the cheek, whispering a 'thank you' to Rafe before joining her mother and sister. "Mama, this is our eldest daughter, Ava. Ava, this is my mother, Clara Rivera."
Ava hesitantly reached out a hand to the woman who looked very much like her Ma. "It's nice to meet you Mrs. Rivera."
"And you Ava."
Everyone settled into the sitting area while Olivia called down to order herself, her wife, and Clara something for dinner.
"Mama, you didn't tell papa you were leaving. Didn't leave a note or anything?" Natalia asked.
"No, I did not. He would have only tried to stop me or followed me here. I did leave the last family photo we ever took under my phone on his nightstand. I'm sure it won't take him long to figure out where I've gone." She covered her mouth with both hands. "Oh dear, he will come back here. I don't want to cause any trouble for you and your family Natalia. I know your father wasn't very friendly this morning. Maybe I should go."
"No, mama, no."
"But Natalia…"
"No. Do you want to be here mama?"
"Of course."
"Are you sure? Because if you stay, your life with papa will be over, you and I both know that."
"It should have been a long time ago Natalia. I should have left him when he sent you away. I will not lose you again, and I certainly will not lose a second child as well." She stated, looking over at Isabel. "He made his choices and now I have made mine."
"Then don't worry about him. Our security team is excellent. He won't even make it into the lobby if he comes here."
"If you're sure, and if you, and Isabel, want me to stay, then I will stay."
Isabel took her mother's hand in hers. "Of course, I want you to stay mama. It killed me to think that I might never see you again. I love you mama."
Clara cupped her youngest daughters cheek and held out a hand to Natalia who swiftly took it. "I love you too mija. Both of you, very much. I am so sorry, to both of you." Tears began to stream down her cheeks again as her eyes moved from one daughter to the other.
The three women embraced in a tight hug. All of them crying silently as Olivia, Rafe, and Ava just watched silently. Their own thoughts rushing through their heads. Rafe thinking that perhaps bringing his moms mother here would be good for all of them. Although he still couldn't forgive her for what she had done to his ma, he could see that it was possible for them to move forward and one day, he might actually forgive her and come to think of her as his grandmother and not just his ma's mom. Ava could only think of the time she had missed with Olivia, not just the years growing up with her adoptive parents, but all the time they spent hating one another when she first came to Springfield.
As for Olivia, her thoughts were split, part of her thinking about her own mother and how she had always wished for even a single moment like the one her wife was having. The other part of her was thinking about her daughters. Thinking of how different it all could have been if she had kept Ava if she hadn't had to leave Emma with Sam when she was first born. She couldn't regret any of it though. As painful as it was to think of all the time lost with her daughters, they wouldn't be where they were now if things had gone any other way, and she wouldn't trade where they were now, the family they had, and the love their family shared for all the time in the world.
Wiping a stray tear from her cheek, Olivia gathered her eldest into her arms and held her tight, kissing the side of her head and whispering into her ear. "I love you my darling daughter."
Ava squeezed her mom just as tightly. "I love you too mom."
Olivia noticed her son out of the corner of her eye, standing awkwardly off to the side and looking a little lost. She reached a hand to him and brought him into a three-way hug with her and Ava. "And I love you my son, so very much."
Rafe kissed her cheek softly. "I love you too mom."
As they released from their embrace, Olivia motioned for her children to follow her as she silently left the room, leaving the Rivera women to have some time alone. Catching Natalia's eye, she winked and blew her a kiss as a way of saying I love you as she closed the door silently behind her.