Sunday Evening, May 29th (Lafayette, LA)
Anya entered Octavia's abode on shaky legs, knowing that if her nausea got any worse, they might not hold up. Immediately, the ruckus ahead of her told her that Raven and Octavia had indeed found their way indoors and were making a mess of the kitchen.
The kitchen attached to the living room. The living room that lead to the bathroom and Octavia's workout room. If Anya knew Octavia, and she did, the pair would eventually make their way to the bedroom, which made the whole main level out of bounds.
Basement, then... Anya mused hazily, stumbling towards the stairwell and clutching the railing as she made her way down, the relative quiet doing wonders for state of mind and ability to just think and focus on breathing.
Anya knew her attack was coming on quickly, knew she didn't have long to get somewhere decent. One, two...one, two... She counted out her shallow intake and exhale as she scanned the area, noticing Octavia had moved a few things around down there. Still, there was a new nook beside the dryer, and that would just have to do.
She laid an old towel out over the small space, and grabbed the first thing out of the dryer that she could find, feeling a little happy that her friend had needed to wash something as bulky as her college hoodie, given the late spring heat. It wasn't her Cthulhu squishable back home, but it'd do in a pinch. As prepared as she could manage to be, Anya planted herself down onto the floor in the nook, clutched the bundled up hoodie to her chest, and closed her eyes, knowing it was better to shut the world out for a while than experiencing dissociation with everything around her and the confusion it'd bring.
One, two...one, two...one, two...so freaking hard to breathe, I just...I...I need to talk to Lexa...god, I just need to talk to her...she'll know what to do... Anya mused, thoughts turning frantic as her lungs seemed to seize, as her body desperately worked to pull in oxygen.
Her heart raced faster than it had in months, blood pounding roughly through her veins, feeling that struggle in her forearms, her temples, her chest, each feeling as if they could barely keep together from the sheer pressure building inside of her.
Been a while since one this bad... She thought hazily as she tried to focus her breathing, trying the two in and two out method only for her lungs to not be able to even accomplish that, seizing on an inhale, sending a fresh wave of panic through her. Ohgodohgod, I can't breathe... I can't...
Everything felt like it was burning; the blood in her veins, the walls of her lungs, the air around her, her very skin felt like it was burning away, and all she could do was clutch the hoodie tighter and remember that she'd had dozens upon dozens of attacks, and always survived. This one wouldn't be any different, even if it felt horrible.
Not in danger...not in danger...I'm safe...I'm at Octavia's...I'm...Christ, why is it so stuffy down here?! Why can't I...can't I... Anya's thoughts trailed off as a sharp pain spread across her chest, ripping a cry from the sudden desert that used to be her throat. She could feel it escape her, but the thudding at her temples made it hard to hear anything, made it hard to hear herself fight for breath, especially.
Anya shook her head and banged it against the dryer in frustration, needing for it to stop, needing to find a way to focus, but there was too much in her way, from the burning to the blood rushing through her skull to the fucking air so humid that it may as well have been soup.
She'd just managed to find some semblance of a breathing routine, as shaky and strained as it was, when she felt a light tug at her earlobe, Octavia's way of letting her know she was around during her attacks. That alone dulled the noisy storm in her skull, even as she opened her eyes to look for her friend.
The first thing she noticed was her vision was blurry, her friend's thumb wiping at her left eye letting her know she must have been crying at some point. Guess that was the burning sensation on my face...great. Always wonderful being weak in front of my family...Anya thought to herself as the world around her caught up to her, spinning and whirling and making her stomach do flips.
"Pretty sure you taught me all about how important posture is, lady. Why don't we keep you from going full-on hypocrite on me today, okay?" Octavia spoke, giving her own hands a momentary glance before shooting Anya an expectant stare, a sign her friend wanted to take hold of her instead of continuing the tiny little grazes that never bothered Anya.
She gave a nod, trying to will her tensed up body to posture up from her slumped over form, but the energy just wasn't there, and it felt like her body was deep underwater, all sluggish and slow. Thankfully, Octavia made quick work of slipping in behind her and supporting her that way, pulling her upright with relative ease.
Just having Octavia there made breathing a bit easier, Anya quickly regaining her two-count, though the clearer airway to her lungs probably helped, too, especially with taking the edge off her nausea. Enough to try to form words, at least, without feeling like speaking would make her vomit.
"I apolo..." Anya tried to get out, syllables catching in her throat as her stuffed nose failed to take in a breath she was relying on.
It seemed to give her friend time to react, at the very least. "'Nuff of that, I can get Raven off in the front seat of Clarke's car later while you bozos are sleeping, and we've got like, a week together. There's no rush. I know you hate going through this crap alone, and I love the hell out of you, so I'm here. If you try to apologize again I'll smack you upside the head, fair warning."
Anya let out a weak huff and nodded, heart warming at Octavia's dedication despite the unnecessary imagery of what the pair would get up to in Clarke's car. She felt lucky to have such a good friend, even if the situation wasn't ideal. "Now, let's focus on your breathing together, okay? And if you need any water, I put a water bottle beside you on your right, so drink up whenever you like. Now...let's start with two by twos and slowly extend your exhales so we can get that heart slowing down, alright?"
With Octavia's help, it was easier getting through the rest of her attack without much struggle; they'd been through about a dozen of them together in the past, so her friend knew when to distract her, when to shift focus, when to offer water, when to give encouragement. Anya still felt embarrassed for the whole ordeal, but it was a little easier, knowing Octavia wanted to be there, and knew how to make it better.
She waited a few minutes after starting to come down before she pulled out her phone. Anya knew bringing the topic up, talking about it, could send her right back into another attack, and she just needed a few minutes where her body wasn't an absolute mess to regroup and prepare.
"Mmmh. Clarke told me you ran in here going on about having to talk to Lexa. Need me to leave while you do that?" Octavia piped up, startling her a little, since her friend had been silent the past few minutes.
And really, it had a few questions floating around in her head. "You talked to Clarke?"
"Sure. She barged in on me and Raven and told me you were down here. She didn't think you'd want her around." Octavia explained, and Anya supposed that made a bit more sense, and Clarke hadn't exactly been wrong. Still, though, it wasn't that she didn't want the blonde around, it was just that Clarke complicated things.
Anya nodded along, but lightly clutched Octavia's nearest hand. "Can you stay? I might...it might happen again, and you make it easier."
"I was hoping you'd say that. Not the attack shit, but I'm pretty sure this has to do with Clarke, and I told her explicitly not to fuck around with you, and not even twenty four hours later, you're here having an attack, and she's acting all guilty. Did she get too aggressive with you?" Octavia rambled, words spilling out with increasingly more bite.
"She..." Anya went to start, before stilling at the tightness in her chest. "Just...you can listen."
With that, Anya dialed Lexa's number, hoping her cousin would pick up. It was rare that she'd ever call her, so she hoped that Lexa would understand the urgency.
The call picked up after two and a half rings. "Anya, is everything okay?" Lexa asked immediately, concern dripping from each syllable.
"I need your help." Anya spoke as she put the call on speakerphone, taking half a breath to get into more details, but her cousin jumped the gun, of sorts.
"I can fly down to see you. Where are you? I can be at my laptop to book in three minutes, and at the airport in twenty." Lexa railed out at breakneck speed, and while she adored how extra her cousin could be at times, it really wasn't that urgent or dire of a situation.
"Please, I'll be alright. There's no need to overreact." Anya let out quickly, hoping to dispel her cousin's impromptu travel plans.
"Yeah, Lexa, she's in good hands down here. Think she was just looking for some advice." Octavia pitched in, both women waiting for a response, relief flooding her when she heard Lexa let out a sigh from the other end.
"If you're sure. But if you change your mind, you know I can get to you." Lexa eventually added, sounding more reluctant than anything. "What can I do to help?"
Anya took one deep breath, and then another when that one wasn't quite steady enough. She had to be economical, because she wasn't sure how long she'd be able to hold up if their talk dragged on. "Clarke told me she likes me." Anya said, deciding to just put the meat of the conflict out in the open.
She could hear Octavia's annoyed grumbling behind her, but pushed her focus to Lexa's voice instead. "Okay, I understand. That's definitely big news. How do you feel about that?"
Anya felt her teeth bite into her lip and focused on taking another breath or two to try and ease the tension she could already feel building again. "Terrified."
"Can you tell me why?" Lexa asked, knowing full well why the whole thing terrified the shit out of her, but she understood that her cousin just wanted her to vocalize. That it would, and had in the past, helped with her stress and anxiety over it all.
"What if...what if I'm not enough, and I accidentally lead her on? What if she's not into me after she finds out? What kind of grown woman brings that to the table? What kind of...of partner wouldn't laugh at that?" Anya let out wearily, memories from her past spilling in and filling her with the dread of knowing she had another birthday coming up in two months' time.
"Anya, Clarke isn't Sienne. She wouldn't laugh." Lexa asserted, putting Anya on the defensive, her hands white-knuckling her phone.
"She laughed at my favourite song." She countered weakly, knowing it wasn't the entire truth, but it was true enough that Clarke had difficulty keeping from laughing.
Octavia let out a scoff behind her. "It's K-Ci and JoJo. She's seen the music video, of course she's going to laugh. That's totally different, Anya."
"Listen to Octavia, please. Clarke would never laugh at you over something like that. I've known her too long and too well not to be sure of that much." Lexa added, singing Clarke's praises again. And Clarke really was a nice person, but it didn't change that she was right to be scared. It didn't change that even the nicest people could balk under the right circumstances.
"She...she's beautiful, and kind, and patient, and she has experience, Lexa! It's already a stretch that she'd be interested in me, and when you add on that I'm closer to thirty than twenty and I still haven't been freaking kissed? I've never dated? Who wants that?! Who wouldn't think there must be something inherently wrong with me that I'm a grown woman who no one's ever really wanted enough for me to even have the most freaking basic romantic experiences?!" Anya raged, heart thrumming wildly in her chest, lungs stuttering with each word as all that pain leaked out. "God, two years ago it was Sienne. A year before that, Richelle. Nearly two before that, Kaitlyn. Portia before them...all of them were 'great', all so highly recommended and praised, and 'accepting' women, and all of them walked. And that was when I was younger, when it might have been more excusable or acceptable since I know a lot of lesbians start dating later in their teens or early twenties, but I'm long past that, now. And maybe a part of it was me being trans, I know, but just...don't you dare tell me Clarke won't ever do the same, because she could, Lexa. She could."
Anya shut her eyes in a failed attempt to stem the tears building up, hating that she was in this position again, that she was this vulnerable again, that all those feelings of worthlessness and being unwanted were rushing back.
"Anya..." She heard Lexa air out, but it was clear her cousin wasn't sure what to say to convince her. Anya wasn't even sure she could be.
"What if this is my last shot? What if Clarke's it? I...I've done what I can, what I can control. I'm in shape, I got FFS, I eat healthy, I do my best to be kind and considerate, and I dress well enough. But even if she gives me a shot, what if I can't kiss well enough, what if I can't make up for my inexperience? What if I can't learn fast enough, or at all, because of my anxiety? What if I'm not enough? No matter how she takes the news, if she walks anyway...how long until I have to accept that some things just aren't meant for some people, that my window's passed?" Anya added, stifling a traitorous sob, body slumping forward in shame before Octavia looped arms under her armpits and pulled her upright again.
"If I'm wrong about Clarke...that's a big if...but if I am wrong, then I'll fly down there and pick you and Octavia and Raven up, and she'll be uninvited from the wedding. I love her, and eventually I would forgive her, but not soon. She may be my best friend and maid of honour, but you're Anya. You're the family that matters most to me." Lexa declared, and Anya had to stop herself from interrupting and rejecting her cousin's decisions, because as much as she disapproved of Lexa changing the landscape of her wedding so massively on short notice were Clarke to respond poorly, she knew Lexa was stubborn enough to follow through.
"And so what if you don't have experience or whatever? Doesn't make you worse, or more difficult. Shit, when I dated Lincoln, I had to help him break a lot of bad habits. I spent months on that, happily. You're a clean slate, that's a pretty good thing in my eyes." Octavia chimed in, and Anya could appreciate both women's words, because she at least knew they meant them.
It just didn't change the truth of things. Anya might have been a bit of a hopeless romantic, but she wasn't so naive as to not understand how the world worked. "I understand, and...and I know it doesn't make me a worse person, or unworthy, or broken, or wrong. I get that. But there comes a time when I have to accept the world isn't fair...and that there are some things people don't want to deal with, and that's their right. It just means that some people don't get to have 'normal' lives, as much as they might want one. And before either of you start, it's easy to say normal's overrated, but when you're missing out on something so many take for granted, and that thing has always been out of reach, that stings like hell, so please don't, because I'm not here for empty platitudes."
Silence stretched on for a few moments, though Octavia's hands came around to rest on her stomach, rubbing gently as her friend held her. It might not have been a soothing enough balm to heal all the old heartbreak resurfacing, but it was something. And something was much better than nothing at the moment.
"Anya, once upon a time...a few years ago, when I was still in college, I'd hoped you and Clarke would meet during the holidays. I thought you both would fit well, and flash forward to today, and...I'm still confident." Lexa spoke, eventually breaking the ice again, her anecdote of sorts easily grabbing Anya's attention. Lexa was a good judge of character, and if she'd thought they'd be a decent match years ago, then maybe, just maybe, there was something there. Maybe there was a chance that Clarke wouldn't be like the rest. She had been rather patient. "I hadn't let myself hope, but...like I said, we have your back if it goes sour. My advice is to find a good time to talk to her alone. Get it out in the open...even if you don't completely trust her, trust me...please give her a chance."
Octavia let out a loud exasperated sigh over her shoulder. "I still want to punch her, but Lexa's probably right. Besides, I think she's worried to shit up there...last I saw, she was stuffing her face with donuts, and that's just not like her."
Anya couldn't help but let out a low laugh as she shook her head. "I told her she had to eat one. She'd barely eaten anything all day, and I was worried." She mused openly, imagining Clarke on Octavia's couch, munching away on a donut, powdered sugar gracing the tip of her nose.
"Well, chances are, Raven's stolen some of them, given how hungry she seemed to be. I should go check on them...you okay to finish up on your own?" Octavia asked, chin propped up on Anya's shoulder.
"I am. Thank you, Octavia." Anya said with a smile she hoped got across how thankful she was for her friend's support. Octavia seemed to get it, rolling her eyes and waving her off as if it was no big deal as she shifted out from behind her.
"I'll see you soon, O." Lexa called out on the line, earning a laugh from her friend.
"Good luck with the wedding prep, Lexa, you're gonna need it!" Octavia yelled from the stairs leading up to the main floor. Anya watched her head upstairs before turning her focus back on her phone, feeling a little less stressed out than she had been, now that she'd talked about everything bouncing around in her head.
Clarke legitimately scared her, but maybe there was hope. And maybe that hope was enough. "You really think there's a chance this doesn't end in tears?" She let herself ask quietly, feeling a little sheepish for even considering putting more of her vulnerability out on display.
"I think if you're patient, find the right time, and give her a few seconds to process, she'll stand by what she told you. Clarke...Clarke's special. She elevates herself, and I think a large part of that is her capacity for love. I understand you're scared, but I trust her not to let you down. If you two don't work out, I don't believe it'd be because of any part of your history, Anya." Lexa answered, propping up that sliver of hope inside her and raising tiny walls in defense of it. It wasn't much, but it was enough, at least for now.
Certainly gives me a lot to think about... She mused to herself, deciding that maybe it was time to get back to ground level again. "I appreciate the advice, Lexa. I'll be in touch, and...honestly, good luck with everything. If you need anything at all, I'm here for you."
"You always are. I should be fine, here, with everyone ferrying me around here and there, and mostly taking care of all the prep for me. And I'll hold you to that promise...I'll expect a call soon to catch me up on everything." Lexa stated, her tone revealing her cousin definitely wouldn't wait too long for that call, and would definitely reach out soon enough if Anya didn't.
"I promise. Take care, Lexa. Love you." Anya signed off, earning a happy hum from the other end.
"Love you, too. Goodbye for now." With that, the call ended, leaving Anya alone in the basement, still hugging Octavia's hoodie to her chest with her remaining arm. With her attack long over, she folded it back up neatly and placed it atop the dryer before making her way back to the stairwell.
With a steadying breath, she ascended.
"Ughhhh, Raven I think you need to put me down for good." Clarke groaned, slumping into the corner of the car door and the seat, arms wrapped around her stomach. Anya could only smirk at the younger blonde's display, knowing Clarke had been teased to hell and back for overeating instead of getting some of her food packed up to be eaten later.
"You know, Old Yeller was blonde, too." Octavia chimed in from the driver's seat, staring back at the blonde through the rear view mirror with amusement twinkling in her eyes. "Shouldn't have had that chocolate dessert thing you got."
Clarke just pouted and shook her head. "So tasty. But not last meal tasty."
"Tell me I at least get the car in your will." Raven asked, leaning over enough to peer into the backseats. "Seriously, I could go merciful, or give you buckshot, Clarke."
"Be a friend, Raven. I'm dying here, there's no point in coercion." Clarke complained before letting out another pitiful groan. "Why did the serving sizes have to be so huge?"
"Clarke, I warned you. And then I told you you'd explode if you got dessert." Octavia noted teasingly, earning a weak growl from the suffering blonde.
"But it looked so tasty..." Clarke moaned sadly, curling further into her nook.
"So did the donuts, but you didn't have to eat them all, and then go for dessert at dinner." Raven shot back with a grin, revealing a much different reality than Anya had concluded earlier when she'd spotted the empty box.
"Clarke, you didn't have to eat all the donuts." Anya let out, startling a little when Clarke's head whipped around, eyes wide and staring at her in surprise.
Out of her periphery, she could see Raven staring, too, which might have had Anya realizing that she probably hadn't talked much since coming back upstairs. Her dinner order, perhaps a thank you to Octavia, but the more she thought about it, the more she was pulling a blank as to anything else she could have said.
It wasn't that she'd meant to clam up. It apparently just happened.
"You told me to eat." Clarke spoke softly, her expression following suit as the surprise wore off, replaced with hesitation and concern.
"I asked you to take a bite before you left the car. I thought maybe you could have a donut to tide you over, because dinner was planned for much later. I didn't want you to go hungry." Anya explained, halfway startled still at the notion of Clarke having eaten all six donuts, then proceeding to eat a large meal and dessert. No wonder she's in agony...poor thing...
"Well, apparently there was no danger of that. For what it's worth, I tried to snag one of the things, but she growled at me and bit it before I could take a bite myself." Raven complained, the imagery too extra for Anya not to laugh at the blonde's antics. It seemed almost too absurd to be true.
"Sharing is caring, Clarke." Anya reminded the blonde, whose pout only grew more pronounced at her words.
It was when Anya's gaze shifted up to those endlessly blue eyes that she saw the remorse, the hurt etched into the fibres of her very irises. "I...I was hungry."
The words were as close to a bold-faced lie she'd heard from Clarke all trip long, though they did manage to carry the real message effectively enough through the woman's sad smile.
Clarke had needed a distraction. Clarke had been worried. Whatever the blonde had seen of her down in the basement, Clarke may very well have taken responsibility for it. Which posed a serious issue, since it truly wasn't Clarke's burden to bear.
Throwing caution to the wind, Anya put faith in Octavia's driving and undid her seatbelt. It definitely wasn't the right time to have the talk Lexa had advised her to start, but she could help Clarke, even if just a tiny bit. "Then let me help. Come here."
Clarke shot her a confused look, though with that remorse having sunk away in the blonde's eyes, she'd take it. "Anya, we're on the road. What do you mean?"
"I mean your stomach's upset and I'm partially at fault. I want to help." Anya clarified, tapping her thigh lightly in case her fellow passenger needed any more cues.
Clarke, of course, just shot her a bewildered stare. "You want me to sit on your lap."
Anya shrugged and rolled her eyes, not understanding the issue. She'd been sat on many times by friends or family, it wasn't a big deal. "Octavia's sat on it twice before, and she's pretty much your size. Heck, Lincoln's had to sit there a few cramped car rides over the years, and I was fine. I think I can handle you, Clarke."
At that, Clarke's stare narrowed in apparent challenge. "We'll see about that." The blonde stated, undoing her seatbelt and carefully shifting over to her. Slowly, Anya helped Clarke position herself atop her thighs before re-establishing the seatbelt. It was a tight fit, but it worked.
"There we go. Now just relax." Anya offered, a hardly stifled laugh from the front seat following her words.
"Yeah, Clarke, take it easy." Raven joked with another laugh, earning a huff from the blonde.
"I have no idea how to do that, Raven. You know this." Clarke noted almost seriously enough for Anya to believe her. It was the slight upturn of her lips that gave it away, though, and got Anya back on track and focusing on her host's tense body.
If Clarke wasn't going to cooperate, she'd just take initiative, like she had while braiding her hair that morning. Thinking back to her old personal trainer's lessons, Anya moved her hands to Clarke's midsection and began gently applying pressure.
Almost immediately, Clarke's body tensed like it was made of iron, but as fast as that came on, it went away, the blonde's body practically melting back against her, letting her do her work a little more easily. She knew it wouldn't solve her new friend's woes entirely, but a little massage could at least make it easier to bear.
Anya's hands worked away at Clarke's stomach and sides, slowly reducing the blonde's discomfort. In time, pained groans and discomforted grumblings turned into relieved sighs and hums of contentment. Anya could see Octavia studiously observing the both of them from the driver's seat through the rear view, but her friend said nothing.
Not that there was much to say. Still, that hurt and sorrow she saw in Clarke's eyes earlier still lingered in her mind, and she knew she had to at least try to resolve some of that, if possible. "Clarke?"
"Hmmm?" The blonde let out in a curious hum, angling her head to, if not look over her shoulder, at least position her ear closer to Anya's mouth to hear her better.
"I want to thank you...I didn't see you in the basement, but you went and got Octavia to help me, and that was important to me. So thank you, Clarke." Anya whispered, wanting to have a bit of privacy, knowing that even with the music playing in the front, Octavia had some seriously fine-tuned ears. "And I want to apologize if I let you feel at all responsible for my attack. Nothing about it was unique to you, it was just...it's complicated. It was because...because of my history, and...and I was thinking maybe we could talk about it together sometime?"
Anya could feel Clarke's breathing still for second upon second, each moment contributing to the well of stress building in her mind, but eventually the blonde let out a long sigh, lips tilting upward even as Clarke's brow furrowed. "Maybe tomorrow, when we're resting after a hike?"
It was definitely sooner than Anya thought it'd be, but she supposed it was as good a time as any. "That sounds great, Clarke."
Clarke brought down a hand to rest atop one of Anya's. "Thanks."
The gesture was more puzzling than anything, though Anya continued to massage. "Whatever for?"
"Caring. Letting me in. Starting a friendship. Take your pick." Clarke murmured, head angling back to rest against the side of Anya's, gold tresses tickling at her cheek.
Anya just rolled her eyes and continued her work. It wasn't like she expected anything in return for her friendship, it wasn't necessary to thank her. "Just rest, Clarke. We have a long drive ahead of us."
An hour or so ticked by quickly enough; eventually, Clarke's stomach ache faded to where the blonde could more easily converse with the two up front, and sing along to the occasional song. The sun eventually set, though, and with it went the more exuberant attitudes; conversation shifted to a quiet one on one between Octavia and Raven, while Clarke got out her e-reader, letting Anya rest and relax after an exhausting day.
Honestly, it was enough of a reprieve for her to not always be conscious of the fact that Clarke was still seated on her lap, and still had hold of one of her hands lightly pressed to the blonde's abdomen. Truth be told, she was oddly comfy, and with her eyes closed, and the smooth ride, her motion sickness hadn't crept up on her at all, for once.
Time passed, and Anya wasn't sure how often she'd drifted off, but she found herself startling awake at the feeling of the vehicle slowing to a stop.
Anya's bleary eyes fluttered open, peering around at her bright surroundings, finding they were at a rather well lit gas station, fueling up. "Mmh. Wha..." Anya was only able to get out half the sounds she needed to ask the time, Clarke flailing atop her and sending an elbow into her ribs, stealing the rest of the syllables.
"Holy shit!" Clarke yelled out, startling Raven in the front seat.
"What the hell, Clarke?" Raven asked, leaning over to peer into the backseat as Clarke started to calm, setting her e-reader down.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I just thought you were asleep, and I...you know, this is all your fault, anyways!" Clarke noted, lightly jabbing Anya in the ribs again as the blonde let out a huff. "Shouldn't write such scary stories."
Anya allowed herself a weak laugh, still a little too sleepy to put much energy in anything. "You were the one who chose to read, Clarke."
"Well you were the one who chose to pull Therese through a fucking inter-dimensional tear in time and space and have her travel between realities to a future Earth and have her fall in love with Petra while they find a way to unsummon the fucking elder god that created those super creepy dog wraith zombie things and...and...urgh!" Clarke ranted, jabbing Anya yet again before crossing her arms across her chest in clear annoyance. "You keep scaring my babies. Stop scaring my babies!"
Anya rolled her eyes alongside Raven's fresh laughter, their other passenger clearly amused at the blonde's outburst, which only had Clarke pouting harder. "They're fighting for a life free of horror, Clarke. They're scared, but they have each other, and they have hope." Anya spoke, earning a grumble from the blonde atop her. Feeling a little amused at the display, Anya tugged at Clarke a bit and angled her head upwards, towards Clarke's ears. "You know if Therese gets her way, she and Petra will be back in her timeline, and she'd be serving Petra ice cream for breakfast as the thin orange haze of the sunrise washes over their bed. There'd be no rush, no threat or risk of danger, time wouldn't be an enemy to them anymore. They could wake with smiles on their faces, and those could last the entire day. They're safe, they're happy...they have their histories, but the present's too bright to linger too long. Isn't that worth fighting for?"
"But they should have that now." Clarke grumbled, though her arms uncrossed, both falling to rest over Anya's. "Haven't they suffered enough?"
"Any suffering is too much, Clarke. It's not about suffering, it's about growth, healing, acceptance. They both have a little farther to go before they're ready to make that dream a reality." Anya clarified, knowing full well that her story had always been an allegory for overcoming personal demons and healing through trauma, deep under all the Lovecraftian post-apocalyptic staging. She was fairly sure she hadn't been so subtle that Clarke wouldn't have at least picked up on some of that.
Clarke let out another loud huff, but leaned ever so slightly more into Anya. "Still scared me. Gonna have to deal with my freaked out self all night."
"Well, you did give me fair warning the other day." Anya added with a smile as she undid their seatbelt, letting her reach the bag at her feet as her other arm held Clarke's waist to keep her host stable. It took maybe a second or two to pull her oversized throw blanket free. Originally, she'd thought that she'd have to sleep in the backseat alone anyways, but that it wouldn't hurt to have something able to cover anyone in the backseat if they needed it.
Clarke gasped at the sight, quickly turning to sit sideways on Anya's lap, one arm flung around her neck, a wide grin on her face. "Did you ever know that you're my heroooo..." The blonde sang quietly with a smile that held a hint of a teasing curl at the edges, and maybe Anya blushed a bit, but it was just nice seeing Clarke happy.
"I thought that sleeping in a car could disrupt your sleep hygiene, so maybe being able to wrap yourself up in one of your 'sleep burritos' would help. There should be enough for you to wrap yourself fully, and for me to have some leftover to cover up." Anya explained, feeling a little proud at her sleeping plan for the both of them. Clarke deserved to feel comfortable, after all.
However, the arm around her neck tightened a bit, pulling Anya closer as Clarke laughed. "As if I'm going to just leave you a tiny scrap at the end, Anya. I told you...if you're going to write scary stories, you're going to have to keep my nightmares at bay. You want me to sleep through the night instead of kicking and flailing, then you're going to take up some of my sleep burrito real estate."
"And how are we going to manage the logistics of that?"Anya asked, cocking an eyebrow at the blonde, unsure at all how they could both fit while being wrapped up in the bulky blanket.
"Pretty sure we can get creative with the seatbelt, and so long as we are... economic with the space we take up...I think we can fit." Clarke noted wryly, red noticeably tinting pale cheeks before the blonde turned away. "But...but if that'll be too uncomfortable for you, then of course, I'll be fine on my own, and I'll even do my best to share, okay?"
Anya laughed at the idea of Clarke being capable of sharing a blanket, but it was the thought that counted, and it was another mark in the woman's 'sweet' category. It helped that she'd slept with Clarke twice now, without incident, knowing there was nothing uniquely romantic or sexual about any of it. Still, Clarke having revealed her feelings complicated things a tiny bit.
It wasn't as if it changed much, Anya knew that Clarke would be polite and respectful, and wouldn't push her boundaries, but knowing how Clarke felt would linger in her mind if they were curled up together. Thinking about the blonde rejecting her, about what it could be like if they were together, about all the potential, and how it could feel if it was lost, Anya was sure it would all keep her awake, at least for longer than usual.
"As if you can share, Clarke." Raven piped up with a laugh, earning a grumble from the blonde.
And while Raven had a point, Anya decided she could at least try. She wouldn't leave Clarke to dealing with nightmares alone. She'd pulled overnighters before, she could last through an outdoors hiking adventure on low sleep if she had to. Clarke had done so much to ensure her comfort all trip-long, it was time Clarke's comfort was prioritized.
"I will be fine, Clarke. I wanted this change of schedule so you could get sleep...I haven't changed my mind." Anya spoke, hoping to soothe any worries her blonde host had about her and their sleeping arrangements.
"Are you sure you won't be uncomfortable?" Clarke asked yet again, eyes all bright and wide as she sought Anya's for certainty.
Anya rolled her eyes at the blonde's need for multiple confirmations. "I told you once before...I wouldn't kick you out of bed, Clarke. I'm okay with it." She restated, pulling Clarke a little closer, drawing the blonde to lean in, curiosity flaring in her eyes. "We're talking tomorrow. We're alright. You haven't made me uncomfortable. Trust me."
While a good portion of her self-assured mask was entirely manufactured, Clarke's frame relaxing from relief had her feeling a rush of actual confidence flowing through her.
"Admit it...you like my sleep burritos." Clarke asserted slowly, one of her beautiful smiles blooming across her lips.
Lips that look so soft, with smiles so sweet...I wonder what...what it'd be like... Anya wondered, biting her lip as a jolt of anxiety rippled through her, forcing her mind away from the blonde's features. Last thing she needed was to get worked up so close to sleep, especially with how exhausted she already was.
Anya just focused on Clarke's words and laughed at the bit of déjà vu they were engaging in. "They're a fire hazard, Clarke."
"I trust Raven and Octavia to take care of us." Clarke retorted airily, Anya not even needing to register Raven's laugh to know the woman was not entirely on board.
"Clarke, I'd cover you with silly string and drag you out of the car before I'd try untangling you from your cocoons. Fair warning." Raven halfway joked, leaving Anya unsure if Raven really would prank them in the midst of an emergency. Still, it all had Clarke smiling, and that was what mattered.
"We'll take our chances, won't we?" Clarke asked, shifting her focus back to Anya, eyes glimmering with hope and mirth.
It was rhetorical more than anything, but Anya really did feel as if she was taking the opportunities that came her way, for better or worse. She trusted Lexa, and that meant she trusted Clarke decently enough as well. She could endure until tomorrow, and until then, it couldn't hurt too much to just try to focus on the past two nights; she could pretend they were entirely innocent friends because it was the truth, at least for one more day.
She could enjoy that friendship, that closeness, for a little while longer, while it didn't mean anything scary, while she didn't have to think about the host of what-ifs way out at the horizon.
"It's all we can do, Clarke."
Monday Morning, May 30th (Maryville, TN)
"...ey, come on, wake up. Anya...Anya..." The sound of voices had her stirring awake with a frown, not very pleased at being pulled from the comfortable slumber she'd been enjoying. A little annoyed, she peeked her eyes open and spotted Raven peering back at her in the front seat. "There we go. Come on, I checked in for us all and got O to sleep in our room. Time to live up to your promise for Princess Charming, there."
Anya blinked away the sleep in her eyes but nodded, understanding vaguely that she needed to get moving and get Clarke in their hotel room. It took a moment to fully recall what she'd promised, bringing a blush to her face under to current context of having Clarke wrapped around her. "Can you get the car door?"
Raven nodded and left the front seat, shutting the driver's side door before making her way around. By then, Anya managed to slip both of her arms out enough to gauge how to do it. Carefully, not wanting to wake the younger blonde from her peaceful sleep, Anya began shifting their bodies, rotating Clarke in her lap until she could detangle the blanket from them both and get her arm under the artist's legs.
Satisfied, Anya nodded to Raven and detached their seatbelt, being careful lifting and angling Clarke as she stepped out of the vehicle. Clarke wasn't particularly heavy, but she knew she couldn't hold her bridal style indefinitely, so once Raven swiftly re-tucked the blanket to keep Clarke's legs from flapping around too much, she made her way to follow her guide.
Thankfully, it wasn't a long walk, but it was up a flight up stairs. With help from Raven who got the door, it was easy enough to get her host onto the rather large bed they'd be sharing. Honestly, the room was much nicer and more elaborately featured than she'd expected. It also had her wondering why the woman hadn't booked them a room with two beds, but perhaps none were available. "Raven, this couldn't have been cheap."
"Beh, forget about it. The next step down in quality was a dump, so this was it. Besides, I live in a tiny house and spend most of my time at work or in my shed working on projects. I've got money and we're on a road trip. I can spend the extra twenty or thirty dollars a room to keep the bed bugs away." Raven stated quietly as Anya worked to transfer Clarke underneath the bed sheets without waking her. It was a little trickier given how thoroughly tucked everything was, but after a few moments, she'd managed it.
"Well, thank you, anyways. I'm sure Clarke will appreciate it, too." Anya noted with a smile, tilting her head towards the exit. "Now go get your well-deserved rest, Raven. We'll get you and Octavia up in time to grab breakfast and leave."
"You two have fun." Raven shot back with a smirk, eyebrows waggling, before the woman took her leave. Now, Anya was not slow, but in the early morning hours, she occasionally was sometimes able to grasp some surprising clarity, and the teasing gesture had her recalling Raven's words from the other evening, words that clearly hinted at Anya and Clarke having mutual romantic feelings.
Was...was I that obvious? I did my best to tamp down on them... Anya mused to herself, shaking her head at how quickly Raven had come to such a conclusion. Perhaps she was thinking more about Clarke...yes, maybe that's it...
A quiet moan from the bed brought Anya's attention back to Clarke, whose brow was furrowed, her host clearly not enjoying whatever she was dreaming of. Well, it's not time to get up yet, even if I probably won't fall back to sleep. Still have some time before we need to go out and grab food and supplies for our outing today...I suppose resting wouldn't hurt...
With that decided, Anya carefully got under the sheets and pulled Clarke and the remains of her blanket cocoon into her arms, immediately relaxing the younger blonde's face. It was a bit of a heartwarming feeling, knowing she could comfort Clarke like that, but it also wasn't as if the woman had much of a choice in the matter, or was aware who was comforting her, so she took that with a grain of salt.
Still, they both needed rest, and Anya was happy to try and ensure they both had as restful an early morning as they could be allowed. With her alarm set to go off an hour and fifteen minutes later, she let her eyes drift shut, entirely content with Clarke in her arms. Sure, there was residual fear, and that didn't, and couldn't vanish entirely, but for the moment, life was simpler and she had the willpower to keep it on the sidelines. She only hoped that the day's adventure would go well.
Having lived by a national forest, Anya was no stranger to driving down roads surrounded by trees, but there was a sense of promise in the air as they'd traveled through Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Apparently, it was a favourite of Clarke's, the younger blonde wasting no opportunity to show her the natural treasures it held.
It made for a bit of a stop and go drive to their first main destination, but she couldn't complain, having witnessed some gorgeous waterfalls called 'The Sinks', right off of the winding road they'd entered the park through. Anya had seen pictures, and video of waterfalls of varying sizes, but had never had the opportunity to see them up close, and it was something that really had her energized and feeling that the day could be something special.
Eventually, they pulled into a slightly populated parking area and navigated into a well placed free spot near the start of the hiking trail up to something called 'Clingman's Dome'. To be truthful, she hadn't been able to process much of what Clarke or Octavia had talked about on the drive up, not with her eyes so focused on the passing scenery. She'd heard it was a great looking point, but from Anya's vantage point, just about anywhere was pretty dang great and scenic.
Anya got out of the passenger side and lingered by the vehicle, having been told that the others would grab the supplies. They were to have lunch somewhere, she'd been assured, but where in specific, she really didn't know. All she had confidence in was that it would probably be beautiful. Any reluctance about spending a day hiking and sightseeing in a national park had long since dissipated, and she was ready to go take advantage of the beautiful, clear day ahead of them.
She took a step towards the trail as Clarke moved past her, but Raven's voice stilled them both. "Yo, Little Griffin, don't tell me you forgot the sunscreen."
Clarke turned around and shot Raven a quizzical glance before checking her bag and pulling out a bottle. "Nope...definitely right here."
"I meant applying it, dork. It's been close enough to two hours since we left the hotel and applied. Not a whole lotta clouds in the sky, and you don't want to get sunburnt this early in the trip. And like hell if Anya would know any better." Raven noted, ignoring Octavia's huff as she helped apply her girlfriend's sunscreen. "O wanted to just march on ahead too, just like you, but we gotta take care so our babes don't get burnt."
Anya felt herself blush at how Raven referenced her and Clarke, suddenly unsure if Octavia had filled her girlfriend in on her situation with Clarke. Still, hidden in the sass and blatant teasing was justified advice. The UV index was supposed to be pretty rough, and without protection, it'd only be a matter of time before they'd pay the price.
"Sorry, Raven, you know I get excited when I visit this place." Clarke said with a sheepish smile before turning fully to face Anya. "Okay, whoa, no. Winds can pick up pretty heavily up here, you're going to want to leave that hat back in the car. Come to the trunk with me."
All she could do was shrug and follow, figuring Clarke knew what she was talking about. Once the hatch was open, Anya tossed her hat in the back, sitting at the edge of the trunk when the younger blonde gestured to it. Clarke rummaged around in a knapsack for a moment before pulling out a worn-in ballcap with some sports logo on it that she didn't recognize.
"This should do..." Clarke mumbled to herself, before leaning into her space and pulling Anya's hair into a ponytail, using an elastic around her wrist to tie it up. A second later, the cap was on and Clarke was feeding the ponytail through the back. "Perfect."
Now, Anya knew she was entirely out of her depth, but it didn't seem particularly smart to leave her entire neck so exposed. "It is not wiser to leave my hair down?"
Clarke swiftly waved her off. "Nothing some sunscreen can't fix, and we have plenty of it on hand. Here, let me." The younger blonde noted, squeezing some of the liquid out onto her palm, sapphire blues gazing down at her for permission.
Anya gave a nod, and Clarke went to work, slathering the sunscreen onto every bit of skin she'd left exposed, even the ones Anya could have definitely covered on her own. It was a peculiar decision, and Anya couldn't help but recall Raven telling her that she was a doer, not a talker. Giving Clarke an excuse to touch her seemed to be the girl genius' plan, given what she'd deduced of Raven's words from the other evening and earlier that morning.
It had Anya wondering whether Clarke would touch her so freely after their talk later on. Whether she'd ever feel those skilled, strong hands smooth down one of her legs ever again.
I cannot let my pessimism get in the way of such a nice day...I can worry when the time comes for the talk. Until then, I should enjoy myself, and this opportunity... Anya mused to herself, offering Clarke a smile as her host finished.
"May I do the honors?" Anya asked, hand outstretched for the bottle. Clarke's eyes darted off towards the trees, but the younger blonde nodded and sat down beside her. Where she had taken the precaution to wear a top that had sleeves down to her elbow, Clarke had taken to wearing just a tank top and shorts, exposing far more skin.
Anya squeezed a healthy-sized glob of lotion onto her hand and shifted her gaze back to Clarke, to see where she should start, only to notice how apprehensive the woman was. Clarke noticed her hesitation immediately, letting out a nearly concealed sigh, those beautiful blue eyes losing a bit of their light.
Almost as if Clarke thought Anya didn't want to touch her. Almost as if Clarke thought Anya wasn't attracted to her. Both absurd assumptions, of course, but whatever it all was, Clarke's mood took a turn for the woeful, and Anya felt a need to remedy it.
The amount on her hand was far too much for the younger woman's face, so Anya split it across her hands and brought both to the sides of Clarke's neck. With as much patience as she could muster, Anya gently massaged the lotion into the blonde's skin, smoothing her hands slowly down the slope of her neck to her shoulders and back up again, each bit of pressure deliberate, each stroke of her thumb across tender skin acting as what she hoped was a clear signal. That she could be much more efficient, much faster, but that she was going to take her time instead.
Honestly, the amount she'd initially squeezed out should have been enough to cover Clarke's shoulders and upper back too, but she needed a second dose to sufficiently cover them at her pace, with her hands offering some light massaging of the blonde's body all the while. Once done with that area, she knelt down and worked over Clarke's legs, knowing she couldn't maintain such a slow pace with so much real estate, but she could keep the attention to detail and the occasional gentle touch.
When she finished down there, Anya rose to stand and came face to face with a deeply blushing Clarke, whose smile twitched at the edges of her lips, as if she was having difficulty containing it from growing to be much fuller. "Are you okay, Clarke? You look flushed." She noted with amusement, her smile growing with Clarke's as the younger blonde let out a laugh.
"Peachy. Just peachy, Anya." Clarke let out softly, questioning eyes meeting Anya's gaze.
"I fear Raven and Octavia will be annoyed if we take much longer, so I'll finish your face, if you can do your arms?" Anya asked, earning a delayed nod from Clarke. She squeezed some lotion into her host's hands and then got to work on the blonde's face.
Clarke was working the lotion into her skin a lot slower than she had when applying it to Anya. And maybe that had her heart blooming with a bit of hope that her gambit had gotten her message across pretty clearly, and that her careful application of lotion to Clarke's cheeks and nose, and chin and ears and everything else needn't have been so deliberate.
Still, it was nice to return the affection Clarke had given her all trip long. There was nothing wrong with grazing a thumb across a blushing cheekbone, or letting her fingertips ghost from behind the blonde's ear down her neck after finishing up there.
As soon as she was satisfied Clarke wouldn't burn, Anya took a step back, and Clarke's hands practically went mach five in finishing her own application within seconds.
"I think we're good." Anya noted happily, earning a wry grin from Clarke, who just bit her lip and shook her head, closing the back hatch and heading off around the vehicle. Maybe Anya took pride in that Clarke was still blushing heavily.
"Whoa, Clarke! Did Anya take so long that you burned up?" Raven exclaimed, though anyone with ears could tell her surprise was certainly manufactured. "Guess our distinguished guest's gonna need more practice. You can be her guinea pig again next time round."
Clarke just gave Raven a playful shove and marched onward, tugging Octavia along with her. Anya caught up with Raven and followed the other two up the steep path, the woman beside her watching Clarke with careful, inquisitive eyes.
"Thought she would have taken advantage of the situation, not you. Kudos for stepping up to the plate, cheekbones." Raven said airily, shooting her a smirk. "You certainly took your time with her."
Anya could only shrug in response. She was never one to hide from her actions or feelings, and Raven seemed invested in Clarke's happiness. It wouldn't hurt to share a little. "She seemed to think I didn't want to have to touch her. I...made it clear that she was off the mark about that."
"Mmmh. I'm a little in the dark with all this...O's not telling me much of anything, but anyone with eyes can see Clarke's into you, and you're into her, so I don't get the hold up. But for what it's worth, I hope it works out." Raven noted, head on a swivel as she gazed out at the wilderness around her.
"Thank you, Raven." Anya said, feeling thankful that the woman was supportive despite just recently meeting her. "I will ask...just how strenuous will today be?"
Raven let out a laugh loud enough to have Octavia and Clarke glancing back at them. "By the time evening approaches, O's gonna be carrying me. And maybe Clarke'll be carrying you, depending on how fit you are."
Anya kept her eyes ahead, lifting her eyebrows when Clarke's gaze lingered. "Well, I skip leg day on occasion, but I do try to make sure my cardio is up to snuff."
"Eh, maybe you'll last, then." Raven noted, gently nudging her shoulder as they headed up the pathway. Wherever they were heading, it was a long way up.
"Or perhaps I'll see how willing Clarke would be to carry me, anyway. After all, I did prove I could carry her." Anya added, nodding to herself as she wondered if maybe that would be a bit too manipulative.
"That was, like, the gayest thing I've ever seen, straight up. When you placed her on the bed, I thought the sheets were gonna spontaneously turn into plaid flannel or something." Raven claimed, letting out another laugh that once again had Clarke glancing back curiously. "I mean, I figure that's the sort of thing you leave for your wedding night, carrying the princess across the threshold and all, but..."
Anya swatted at Raven's arm, which only had the woman laughing louder. "Don't be so crude! Besides, it was Clarke's idea. She bet me I couldn't carry her from the car to the hotel room without waking her after I told her she was a deep sleeper."
"And you fell for it?" Raven's laughter was verging on hysterical now, and it was all Anya could do not to blush because she just could not understand what was so funny.
"Clarke said she'd let you and Octavia drive. I wanted her to get rest. She bet that if I could do it, then she'd let you two drive for part of today, and those plans were adapted when we decided to visit the park." Anya insisted with a huff, knowing with absolute certainty what the deal had been. There wasn't anything to 'fall for'.
Raven, however, flung an arm across Anya's shoulders and tugged her close. "You got played, cheekbones. First off, she desperately wanted you to see a national park, and she loves this place, so you had leverage in that 'deal' of visiting here instead of driving through some shit national forest you'd only get a glimpse at from the SUV. You could have swapped carrying her for visiting the park. Secondly, O and I drove before you had a shot to prove you could do it, so we would have driven anyways. Third, Clarke's a clear fan of your arms, so that's more leverage. And finally, she's just super into you and wanted an excuse for you to do something tremendously fluffy and gay, and you fell right into it."
Anya took in Raven's words, and as much as she didn't want to agree, the woman did make a lot of sense. She really could have re-negotiated. Still, it was sort of nice to ensure Clarke slept well, even if it meant struggling a little to get the younger blonde from the car and into bed.
"I see your point. Still, I can't regret anything when Clarke seemed very well rested this morning. She really did need to sleep in like that." Anya stated, figuring that even if she'd been 'played', it had all turned out for the best. Clarke was well-rested, they were spending a day at a major park, and everyone seemed to be excited for the day ahead.
"I don't get you, cheekbones. There's some internet meme about cinnamon rolls that you fit to a damn tee. Pretty sure I would have bounced O off the bed, or placed her in the bathtub, or haggled for better terms, but there you are looking out for our girl." Raven noted with perhaps a bit of frustration in her voice, even if the woman did seem happy about her actions. It was a strange reaction, to be certain. "Anyway, go grab O for me, will you? She's got something of mine."
Anya simply nodded, even if getting Octavia likely meant being alone with Clarke. Being alone with Clarke could lead to questions. Questions could lead to uncomfortable truths coming out earlier than planned.
Still, Raven looked slightly uncomfortable, and that took priority, knowing if the woman's leg was acting up, she wouldn't forgive herself if she allowed Raven to be in discomfort any longer than necessary.
The path was only getting steeper, it seemed, but Anya jogged the short distance up to Clarke and her old friend. "Raven's asking for you, Octavia. Says you have something of hers?"
Octavia's response was immediate, glancing back at Raven as she patted Anya's shoulder. "You two head up, we'll meet you at the top."
And just like that, Octavia was trotting down the hill to Raven, leaving her alone with Clarke.
"Come on, not much farther now." Clarke said with a welcoming smile, whatever nerves she had from earlier clearly having dissipated since then.
Anya nodded and fell into step with the younger blonde. It wasn't too long before a structure came into view, a spiraling ramp up to a higher panoramic looking point. Honestly, as they approached it, the view was already astounding, but as she followed Clarke up, and began to see over the trees that had been in the way, it was impossible to contain her gasp.
Anya's hand went to her chest at the sight of the rolling mountain range, stretching as far as her eyes could see, the gentle breeze stealing her breath away with it. It was extraordinary, and if her mouth was gaping, it was one of a few scenarios where she wouldn't be embarrassed, since she'd honestly never seen anything like it before.
She felt a hand knit with her free one, slowly leading her the rest of the way up to the elevated platform, but her eyes were fixated on her surroundings, on the vast wilderness before her. "So majestic..."
"The first time I saw it, it took my breath away." She heard Clarke muse openly, the hand holding hers offering a light squeeze.
"I'm well acquainted with the feeling at the moment." Anya replied, voice strained from the views that had stilled her lungs for longer than was likely healthy. She made the conscious effort to draw in oxygen, and felt relief as things started to kick into gear again. "This is just glorious, Clarke. Magnificent."
"Don't run out of adjectives just yet, babe. Still got the rest of the day ahead of us." Clarke noted with a smile, one that flickered away as uncertainty flooded eyes as blue as the late spring sky above them.
It took Anya a moment to realize Clarke had let another term of affection slip, and while she didn't want to openly encourage them given they haven't had their talk, she didn't want the blonde to think they made her uncomfortable, either.
Anya gave a gentle squeeze to the hand linked with her own and shot Clarke a smile before staring back out at the wilderness. "I suppose you're right. The rest of the park is likely just as worthy of my praise, and I wouldn't want to play favourites just yet."
Out of her periphery, she could see the younger blonde relax a little. "That's...that's good, because I have something planned this evening that I think you're really gonna like, Anya."
Anya dipped her head away, hiding her blush, not wanting to give a wrong impression in case something went sideways in their talk later on. Still, it was wonderful for Clarke to consider her like that. "Just a friendly reminder that some experiences are simply more than words can say, Clarke."
Facing back down the ramp up to the platform, she could see Raven and Octavia making their way up, the former looking a little discomforted. Anya couldn't help but wonder if her leg was hurting, and knew she'd talk to Octavia soon enough to see if the group could slow their pace to stay together. After all, it was a group road trip, they were supposed to be doing it all as a group, not in pairs.
"Well, in the case of something like that, I'll leave it up to you to figure out another way to express yourself." Clarke short back, a bit of that familiar lighthearted teasing returning to her tone.
Anya hoped it was a sign of things to come. She didn't want Clarke to be awkward around her for the rest of the trip. She liked how the woman had been around her up until the confession, and no matter how things went that afternoon, she hoped that they could get back to that. If nothing else, friendship would make her tremendously happy.
She knew what she hoped for, what she wanted, even if she wasn't sure how ready she was for it. It was Clarke that was the unknown in the equation.
As she looked off into the distance at the rolling, green mountains and valleys, Anya could hardly wait to get the answers to the storm of questions roiling inside of her.
Patience had never been her strongest virtue.
A/N: Sorry for the delay on this one, I decided to keep Anya's portion of this chapter a little under 24 hours, and have Clarke's section next chapter cover the rest of the day.
I hope you enjoyed, and that your weekends were wonderful!