禁断のスクロールの物語
Forbidden Scroll of Stories
Disclaimer: I do not own anything official such as characters, locations, powers, ect. from the NARUTO series. Masashi Kishimoto owns the series. On an added note, some of these one-shots are under crossover scenes, therefore in those crossovers; I do not take any ownership of characters, themes, and whatnot for when I do a crossover scenario. That includes fictional cameos, celebrity cameos, and real-world cameos. Remember that.
Naruto's Long-Distant Cousins
Now, it was known that Naruto was an orphan, and that he never truly knew who his parents were. However, what was not known by his friends was that Naruto indeed had related family in the world. And elsewhere at a small BBQ joint, drinks sprays. And Naruto was caught in the spray of assorted drinks, as everyone stared at him in shock when he mentioned that his cousins would be arriving to Konoha tomorrow.
"Now that is just disgusting," Naruto complained, taking his top white shirt off to wipe the water off his face, now having nothing to hide his good-looking body.
"I thought you were an orphan," Kiba said to Naruto. Hinata's shock slowly turned to a blushing stare as Naruto's bare upper torso was exposed to the world. She licked her lips that a certain Mitarashi would when seeing her prey.
"I know... but it was a hell of a surprise when I bumped into them as well during my training regimen with Jiraiya-sensei." Although I sure as hell know they'll be shocked finding out my cousins are both Jōnin-level kunoichi... Naruto thought, as he called for a refresh of his food since it had been contaminated by the spray of drinks.
"They'll be here soon, once they cross the distance since they live so far away. I'll introduce them to you tomorrow hopefully."
That did not stop his friends (Sasuke's still gone and/or being Orochimaru's cock-sheath) from having wild imaginative thoughts on what his cousins could possibly look like. Hinata on the other had a dream that involved her, a moon-lit sky with the stars twinkling in the dark twilight, and a dozen Narutos serenading her in such adult ways in a field of beautiful lavender and yellow flowers.
=0=0=
Naruto, who was but a lowly Chūnin, at the age of seventeen, continued to wait by the open gates, waiting for his two cousins to show up... he sighed as he looked up to the sky. Judging by the sun's position, it was nearly an hour past noon. And then Naruto looked over to the open path that led to the gates. He saw two girls who wore matching outfits; consisting of a sailor fuku-styled skirt of a bluish violet color with a dark belt snapped firmly in place, matching short shirts with black fishnet t-shirt underneath, fishnet on the forearms with spiked bracelets, full-covering ninja sandals, and fishnet on the lower legs. However both had different hair styles. One had two short pigtails and was orange and the other had only a single in the back and was lavender. Both had katanas strapped to their backs, and both had cerulean eyes.
"Naruto-kun!" The girls shout, and sprint Naruto into a tackle/hug. Naruto smiled. He knew for sure Konoha (those who still did not like him) would wonder just what the hell was going on. And oh boy was his friends going to be surprised.
"Kat, Ana... I'm glad you both can make it all the way here," Naruto greets the two fourteen year olds. His cousins just flash matching grins as the three soon get off the grassy ground and reenter the village, not even minding the odd looks they got from the guardsmen.
=0=0=
"This is where you live, Naruto?" asked Kat.
"Yeah, I thought you said that you lived in a shithole of an apartment?"
"I did live in a shithole of an apartment. But I managed to get baachan to get the deed to the plot of land since I was basically the ONLY one living in the entire building. I tore down that shithole of an apartment once I owned the land officially."
He grinned, looking up at the two story building, with the rest of the land's lot converted to his backyard (complete with iron plated fencing) to keep pesky people out.
"After I tore down my shithole of an apartment, I pulled in a favor that old man Tazuna owed me, and together with Inari's help, we, and a few guys from Nami no Kuni, built my dream home. I went from living in a shithole of an apartment, to a beautiful two story apartment. And it's all mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, ahahahahahahahahaa..."
"You sound like Tim Allen there for a moment," the girls speak up.
"Shaddup," he replied. The girls just giggle, as Naruto opened the front door after unlocking it, "well... come in and make yourselves at home, girls."
"Yay!" The two kunoichi rush in, as Naruto chuckled before walking in himself, close the door, and set the Anti-Civilian Security Alarm Fuuinjutsu System (or its shortened name: A.C.S.A.F.S.).
Naruto went to his entertainment system, and turned the systems on. Once the stereo player was on, he inserted five disc son the tray, closed it, and started playing disc one with the setting on shuffle mode. The disc's name was君と出会って二年過ごした私が微妙に変わった理由 (Reason why I who meets you and spent two years change slightly), and the song playing was called五月の病 (Gogatsu no Yamai).
"Is that Kagamine Len I hear?" Kat asked from the kitchen.
"Yup," Naruto replied, turning the volume on the speakers a bit higher. He then heads into the kitchen, where the girls were stirring a large pot of food Naruto had on a low simmer.
"Naruto-kun, why do you always cook in bulk?"
"Saves me time and energy from cooking endlessly, and when the food gets old, I can dump it in the forests for other animals to enjoy, or feed it to some of the strays that linger around my place."
As Naruto cooked the ground beef in the large pot and breaking it down while doing so, the song on the CD ended and the next song that began to play was entitled Arrivederci. Naruto smiled to himself, as a girl's voice began to sing the lyrics to the song. It was one of his favorite songs.
"You girls can go and practice if you want. The dojo is down to your left when you enter the living room past the stairs."
The girls nod and head off, katanas in hand. Naruto knew they would do well, since he had seen his cousins in action first-hand against some low-life thugs, bandits, and Ronin. Naruto felt that he was forgetting something, but when he looked into the pot, he decided it was cooked well enough, and turned the heat down. He pours it into the sink where most of the fatty water leftover is drained through the strainer bowl, while another cone prepares to heat up the cooking oil. Another is finished with the cut vegetables, another prepares eggroll wrappers and the egg wash... and one final clone went to boost the sound higher on the electronic speakers, as a new song played, Megurine Luka's RIP=RELEASE song.
=0=0=
The door jingled, before it opened. It was lunch hour the next day, but Naruto never showed up. He had forgotten about introducing his friends to his cousins at Training Ground Seven, thus is the reason why Sakura (with a spare key she acquired from Shizune), opened the door and walked into Naruto's nice-looking apartment, with everyone else entering as well.
"Hey! Awesome, Naruto has a great entertainment system. We can have parties at his place now," Kiba cheered.
"Shush, you idiot," Sakura scolded Kiba with a threatening fist waved at his direction.
Ino walked into the kitchen, with Hinata following the Yamanaka heir, and she scoffed, seeing the dirty dishes in the sink.
"Makes me wonder if he KNOWS any good manners or good house-keeping skills,' Ino wondered.
Hinata blushed a bit. "Ano... he maybe has gotten tired and decided to wash them in the morning."
"Hinata... it's close to 1:00 in the afternoon, and the baka's probably still asleep."
Kiba closed the refrigerator, having found nothing good. Of course, ignoring the fact that the refrigerator was built into a section of the kitchen wall, and the freezer he opened next was more like a small bathroom-sized room.
"Hey, since when does Naruto store food in bulk?"
"Bulk food?" was Chouji's pipe up.
"You guys, let's go wake the baka up... he said he was going to introduce us to his cousins..."
Sakura and the others all wandered, and they had to pull Lee away when they discovered Naruto's small little training gym. Up the stairs, they heard breathing. Sakura and the others headed to the door that was left open ajar. Pushing it open, Sakura was about to loudly wake the blonde ninja, but her words instantly died upon the sight that greeted her and the others when they piled in. Naruto had a medium sized bedroom, and adjoining bathroom. There was a section of wall that was made of glass complete with sliding glass door. The outside patio was in fact the small section of roof that (unknown to them) was above the small training gym and overlooked Naruto's backyard (and had a good view of the Hokage mountain in the distance).
Now, as for the bed, it was large. A very large bed fit for three adults if you squeeze room. In the center was Naruto, and on either side of him were two young girls. Add to the fact that they can see their discarded clothes on the ground, and you can pretty much guess that they were naked under the blankets. Naruto was fast asleep, a bit of a soft snore coming from him. The two young girls sleeping on either side were clinging to him, looking very comfortable in the bed. Naruto was the look of content sleep. Lying on his back, his left arm was draped across his eyes as to block out light. The girl on his left had purple lavender hair and was snuggled up by his body. The girl on the other side had, of all colors, orange hair, and clung to his right arm.
Then Naruto shifted in bed, causing the two girls to moan a bit, and attempt to hold onto the teenager again. Now Sakura finally found her mind to speak... or rather shout out these three words. "WHAT THE HELL?"
Kunai shot towards them, that they all avoided easily (they were Chūnin and Jōnin rank after all). The kunai that flew at them came from the two girls, whom were both rudely awakened.
"Who the hell are you guys? Get out of the apartment!" The girl with orange hair yelled. Naruto remained obvious to the whole thing. Ever since wearing ear plugs before getting sleep, not much can wake him (other than discovering he can be quite the heavy sleeper during his trip with Jiraiya outside the village for three years).
They each drew their katanas from under the bed, and kept the blankets firm around their upper chests, due to the vicinity of unknown males in the room.
"Never knew Naruto was into little girls," Kiba said.
And Kiba ducked out of the way because the girl with purple hair had nearly struck him in the crotch.
"Leave Naruto-kun alone... and he's not a pedophile!"
"But he's in bed with two beautiful youthful girls younger than him. He is displaying the most unyouthful of acts!" exclaimed the boy with huge eyebrows... wait, did those things just twitch?
Then a yawn breaks out. Naruto groaned, as he moves his hands to his ears... and took out earplugs. "Oh..." He slipped out of the bed, eyes still closed as he hops off, and heads to the bathroom, his foot kicking the door shut. A moment later, sound of a toilet flushing is heard as the door opens. Naruto steps out wearing his bathrobe, yawning again as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.
"Naruto! What the hell are you doing sleeping with two little girls?" Sakura all but shrieked.
"Little girls...? Wait, what are you al doing on my house?"
"NARUTO! YOUR AURA OF YOUTHFULLNESS HAS BEEN TAINTED BY EVIL!" Lee shouts, but Naruto yawned again...
"Oh right... I forgot that I was going to have my cousins introduced..."
In a whirlwind of clothes, Kat and Ana were fully dressed, katanas sheathed on their backs. Both were still angry at these people intruding into their cousin's home, and kept their glares steady on the group.
"Well... go downstairs so I can get dressed, and Lee shut up about youth... ugh... have a bit of a hangover from drinking sake with the girls."
Lee was silenced, but Sakura just glared at Naruto and muttered pedo under her breath as she dragged the still stunned Lee out. The others left, and Naruto ignored them as he knew they were giving him last looks. Pedophile... yeah right... they had no idea how he reacted the first time around with Kat and Ana.
"Obviously your friends are idiots," Kat spoke up, her anger diminishing a bit.
"They weren't there when you I woke up naked and you two were in my bed..."
The girls just giggle.
=0=0=
Naruto and the girls walked down the stairs, but blinked when more people were suddenly sitting around in the living room.
"Girls, introduce yourselves while I get my coffee... and some aspirin," Naruto murmured, walking past Kakashi to start up the coffee espresso.
"Okay you two... just who are you?"
"I'm Uzumaki Kat."
"I'm Uzumaki Ana."
"We're Naruto-kun's cousins," Kat and Ana introduce themselves.
"And don't call Naruto-kun a pedophile you banshee," Ana tells Sakura. She's held in her seat by Kakashi bore she could throttle the two young girls.
"Okay... where are your hitai-ates?" asked the woman, Tsunade.
"We don't have headbands, baachan." Tsunade gained a tick, "we're from the western continent, and we're also Jōnin-rank kunoichi."
"Jōnin? Yeah right. You're only thirteen," Ino spoke up.
"We're fourteen, thank you very much," the girls retort by flipping the Yamanaka off.
"Okay, okay, enough fighting. I don't want any damage to befall my entertainment system. Wario's snagged a fair bit of cash off me when he sold this to me. I don't wanna pay more money now."
"Sorry Naruto-kun," the girls say, sitting down on either side of him as he too sat down.
"Why are you sleeping with little girls?" Sakura yelled at Naruto.
"I got used to it. Ask Ero-sensei."
Jiraiya glared. "Will you stop calling me that?" He yelled.
"When you stop peeping at the hot springs or blowing your cash on hookers at the brothel, then I'll give you my respect."
"Jiraiya."
Jiraiya flinched, and looked over at Tsunade who was giving him the glare she has reserved for the white-haired pervert (who is known famously as the Toad Sannin).
"I got used to it a week when we met the two girls... though they did threaten of cutting my boys off if I tried anything..."
"But if you don't have a hitai-ate, then you're just pretending to be ninja," said Ino... before she felt something wet trailing down her right cheek. It took everyone a bit to realize that Kat had thrown a kunai and it had grazed Ino's cheek to leave a thin cut.
"We have been ninja ever since we turned five. It's our clan's ways, and since we had discovered we had distant family, we went and done all we can to find Naruto."
"Oh hey, girls, I almost forgot... yesterday I received mail... and it had this stamp on the side of the box." He removed the tarp he had covering a box, and on it was Wario's mug for his infamous Wario Ware Inc. Company. "So... you girls handle it. The last time I opened something from this was last year, and I got a garlic-blast."
The girls roll their eyes. "Wario's not that big a meanie once he starts viewing you as a friend," Kat told Naruto.
"Or a means of making him more money," Ana adds.
But, let it be known here that Naruto's views on Wario when it comes to pranking people was right on the money... instead of Naruto getting a triggered prank trap... it was the girls... and where was Naruto? He was on the Yondaime's head... He sighed. Now he has to clean up the mess again. He just hoped the girls didn't get too mad at him...
"Thank god for clones, right?"
Naruto opens his eyes and smiles.
"Yes, Ana, thank god for clones."
Then again, the girls were also smart, thus allowed him to get more in touch with his two cousins as he and the girls laugh as they head off for a nice relaxation. Back at Naruto's home, three clones poof into smoke while everybody gagged, and were fighting to escape the now "tainted house" of garlic and other unmentionable forms of gasses.
You're confused, right? I am, too. Ninjas...
Kat and Ana from Wario Ware... only aged up a bit.