Thursday Morning, June 2nd (Chantilly, VA)
Anya's eyes were wide as she clung to Clarke in bed, just wanting to fall asleep. The bed was so utterly comfy, and Clarke was practically treatment for sleeplessness, but even the cuddly blonde couldn't keep the sounds from the guest room from reaching her ears.
She was equal parts mortified and horrified that Raven and Octavia were having sex under Clarke's mother's roof. With Mrs Griffin just down the hall, and Clarke literally right next door, only a wall separating them.
It was something she couldn't have ever fathomed anyone doing, but apparently, Octavia was more brazen than she'd thought.
"Ugh, god, it's been an hour. I can't take this anymore." Clarke grunted, moving to get out of bed, but Anya tightened her arms around the other blonde just in time.
"Clarke! That's...that would be so embarrassing!" Anya insisted worriedly, not wanting Clarke to be haunted by anything she might see.
"Baby, you're exhausted, and I'm exhausted, and we deserve sleep. Hell, I'm driving tomorrow, and you admitted before that I need a good night's sleep. They need to stop." Clarke argued softly, turning in her arms to brush a lock of hair away from Anya's face. "They can have sex at the cape, they reserved a place with a bunch of other guests, so they can do it there. But this is my mom's house, and we need to sleep, so yeah. Can you let me do this?"
Anya sighed, but could see Clarke wasn't about to give in on this, and the duo next door didn't seem close to done by the sounds they were making. "Just come back quickly, please?"
Clarke's lips curled up into a bright smile. "I couldn't stay away if I tried, babe."
With a quick kiss to Anya's cheek that left her in a human-shaped puddle on the bed, Clarke bounded off and out the door. Barely three seconds later, she could hear the guest room door opening and Clarke yelling something or other.
Anya sighed and slumped back into the pillows, realizing it was the first time in a while that she'd been entirely alone. It offered her a few moments to reflect on the recent events in her life, and honestly, it was hard not to smile at the memories.
The stopover at Clarke's mother's had been eye-opening in more ways than one. For one, Mrs Griffin was not at all what she'd expected, and was actually a very nice woman. One who might be a little intrusive, and who was not very good at gardening, but very pleasant to say the least.
Past that, learning Clarke was trans had been something that had seemed both strangely obvious and somewhat curious. Their connection had been so easy and strong so quickly, and being trans likely did, in some way, help bring them together even when neither knew about each other. But it was curious that Clarke hadn't told her earlier. Not bad, of course, as Clarke deserved all the time in the world to make those kind of decisions about disclosure; it's certainly what Anya would have liked for herself. But it was a little odd for Clarke to wait so long. She'd have to get the reason sooner or later, but ultimately, it was a comfort, knowing Clarke was trans. It felt safer to open up and be free around the woman, knowing Clarke wouldn't tease or mock her for her indulgences.
Like, the dress she'd worn today. It was something her mother would have scolded her for wearing past the age of eighteen, but it was a wonderful colour, and it made her feel pretty, and she wanted to look pretty for Clarke, too. During her years where her parents treated her as the young woman she was, femininity had always been used as a tool to gain something or other. So wearing something feminine, just for personal pleasure and satisfaction, it was such a freeing experience.
And being able to share that with Clarke, whose jaw had visibly dropped upon seeing her, was even more wonderful.
"She was so adorable today. Endearingly frustrating at times, but definitely adorable..." She mused, recalling the series of remarks that led to the cheek kiss. She'd been so anxious about crossing a line, especially at the sight of Clarke tearing up, but as soon as she realized they were happy tears, her heart melted, and Anya knew for a fact that she had passed a point of no return.
And for the first time in a very long time, that sort of experience was a positive one. She wasn't scared that she was going to have to see whatever this was through to the end. She wasn't scared that she'd be committed to their relationship. Sure, it could go wrong, but for the first time in a long time, she was optimistic.
Perhaps as much as she brought the romantic out in Clarke, her hopefully future girlfriend brought the optimist out in her.
Still, despite the optimism, nothing was ever purely good. And as much as she'd like the ignore the past, she'd played a major part in Clarke's, even if the woman wasn't aware. As much as she hoped that Clarke wouldn't hold it against her, she couldn't assume or expect that her bedmate would be okay with it.
Clarke, of course, wanted to talk it over. She would, it's just that Anya wanted to enjoy all the good before it might vanish. After all, the wedding would certainly be hostile for her even with Lexa and Costia on her side, and then Clarke might change her mind about her after their talk.
Which left tonight. And as selfish as it was, she just wanted Clarke to call her 'baby' and hold her close for a little while longer. She wanted to indulge herself in the lovely dreams of them together far off in the future. She wanted Clarke to seek comfort and safety in her arms from the eldritch horrors they'd fought in the role playing campaign that night.
I'm just falling so fast, and if I don't have a soft landing, I don't want to know... Anya thought to herself, eyes darting to the doorway as Clarke crept in and shut the door behind her, letting out a puff of air to try and get a lock of hair away from her nose. Adorable...
"They'll be quiet. They promised." Clarke let out with a sigh, a sign that negotiations hadn't been perfect. "Sorry I took so long, baby."
Anya rolled her eyes, but gestured with her arms for Clarke to cuddle up with her again. Her bedmate quickly rushed across the room and nearly dove into Anya's waiting arms, letting out a happy sigh as she curled up on top of her.
"Anya?" Clarke asked a few moments after they'd settled underneath the covers. Anya let out a hum in acknowledgement, just happy to soak in the joy of being able to start and end each day with someone like Clarke in her arms. "Today was really special to me."
Anya let out a lengthy yawn and snuggled a little closer, Clarke happily obliging. "For me, too." She murmured in agreement, feeling the tendrils of sleep take hold of her.
It was quiet for a few minutes, long enough for Anya to drift off, but just as she was on the verge of unconsciousness, a familiar sound brought her back, and the memory that sound was linked to had Anya wide awake as Clarke sang sleepily into her neck.
"...gonna make it last. 'Cause love only comes once in a while..." Clarke sang softly, tracing her nose up Anya's neck. "...and knocks on your door, and throws you a smile. Steals every breath, leaves every scar, speaks through your soul, sings to your heart...if I knew then, what I know now, I'd fall in love..."
Anya held her body as relaxed as possible as Clarke tangled them even further, but it was the lazy kiss to the corner of her jaw that had her letting out an unbidden gasp. Thankfully, Clarke was drifting off too quickly to notice, it seemed.
"I think I'd always fall in love with you..." Clarke murmured, words halfway slurred together and barely loud enough to hear, but once they registered it was everything Anya could do to hold herself together until Clarke was a hundred percent asleep.
As soon as she heard her bedmate's gentle snore, Anya let out the breath she'd been holding and wiped at her tearful eyes. Every fiber of her being wanted to scream out in joy, wanted to celebrate what she'd heard, wanted to relish in knowing that Clarke felt the same as her. That they'd both fallen and were on a collision course with something, and that they could handle it all together.
The prospect of Clarke always falling in love with her had Anya cupping her sleeping beauty's cheek and pressing her lips to that cute nose of hers. "I think I would too, darling." She whispered, not allowing herself to speak those words any louder for fear of some divine retribution striking her down for having so much fortune turn in her favor lately.
It was that fear that had her remembering years ago, when she'd visited Lexa during the holidays, and Clarke had left to visit her father. It had her wondering what would have happened if Clarke hadn't gone away. "Would we be together, still? Would we be married, Clarke?" Anya asked softly, caressing Clarke's cheek and adoring how the younger blonde leaned into her touch.
It would have solved everything. Everything would have been so much simpler, and easier, and the shadow of Lexa wouldn't be looming over her every time Clarke confessed how she felt to her.
"Would she still choose me?" Anya whispered, wiping her eyes again as a trail of fresh tears streaked down her temples. "If...would she still fall in love with me?"
All of her past actions, all of her guidance filtered into her mind, and as tired as Anya was, she was sure now that sleep wouldn't be coming soon. Please choose me, Clarke...please... She wished as she pressed a kiss to Clarke's little butt chin and curled up with the woman she only dared to dream would live up to her sweet words.
The difference was that Lexa was getting married. Lexa had been Clarke's girlfriend, and was her best friend. Anya couldn't even say where she stood with Clarke, and her utter lack of experience as someone to be desired left her feeling that optimism fade.
Not entirely. Not irreversibly. Not without a fight.
But in the end, Clarke held the answers. And when Lexa was sought after, and Anya was perhaps just there, just available, how could she know if she was truly the first choice? If she wasn't just second best?
Anya closed her eyes and tried to focus on Clarke's breathing, Clarke's warmth. She tried to focus on the way Clarke looked at her as they danced, and the yearning in the younger woman's eyes when she requested one last dance. The bliss when Anya had kissed her.
There was always hope. Anya chose to cling desperately to it, foolish or not.
"Oh, honey, you look wiped. Why don't you take this?" Mrs Griffin asked, jolting Anya out of her half-awake state as she stood on the front porch, halfway watching Clarke, Raven, and Octavia try to cram everything of theirs into the vehicle. Apparently, Octavia's brother had given her a few extra things for the trip, and they happened to be bulky, to Clarke's chagrin.
Anya turned her gaze to Clarke's mother to find the woman holding a thermos that, after a brief whiff, smelled of tea. She shot Mrs Griffin a thankful smile and accepted it, taking a joyful sip of the beverage. "Thank you so much, Mrs Griffin, you've been wonderful to us during our stay. I won't forget your hospitality."
"You're very welcome. And one day, you won't feel the need to be so formal around me." Mrs Griffin said with a laugh, bringing a bit of heat to Anya's cheeks, knowing the woman was amused at her stubbornness.
"Today is not that day, ma'am." Anya stated, feeling that she'd hopefully one day be more comfortable speaking freely around the woman, but it wasn't likely to happen anytime soon, especially at the woman's home.
"Fair enough. Just...if I might add something before you leave?" Clarke mom asked, earning an immediate nod. Listening was the least that Anya could do. "I've never seen Clarke so happy. I've never heard Clarke be so happy. I've never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you, and I've seen her with a good number of the people she dated for any real length of time."
The woman's words renewed the hope in her heart, even if just a little bit. "Thank you, Mrs Griffin."
"Just be good to my little girl. And know that no matter what happens at the wedding, you have people who love and support you, and that you're always welcome here." Mrs Griffin promised, leaving Anya wondering if being charming and wonderful was just in the Griffin bloodline as the older woman made her way over to the vehicle to see to her daughter.
Anya sipped away at her tea as Clarke and her mother had some sort of discussion. She felt her brow furrow at the sight of Clarke appearing a little distressed, but that faded away when the two women hugged. It had her wondering what had Clarke concerned or upset, but when the two parted, Clarke was all smiles again, so she put that thought to the back of her mind for the moment.
She'd just finished the tea when Mrs Griffin began walking back up towards the house. "Thank you so much for this, I feel much more awake." Anya said, arm outstretched to return the thermos.
Mrs Griffin took it in one hand, and pulled Anya into a warm, comforting hug with the other. "Thank you for visiting, sweetheart. Don't be a stranger, now, alright?"
Anya shook her head, unable to contain her smile at the utter acceptance the woman had offered her during her stay. "I promise not to, ma'am." She answered and, with a wave, turned to walk towards the vehicle.
It felt strange, leaving that house. In such a short time, they'd made so many cherished memories, but something had her feeling it wouldn't be the last time.
Clarke was leaning up against the hood of her car, eyebrow cocked at Anya approached. "Have a good chat with my mom?"
"She's a wonderful person, Clarke. I can see where you got your charm." Anya noted with a smile as she made her way around to the passenger side.
"Oh my god, you can't say that." Clarke groaned, but it was too late, Raven already laughing in the backseat.
"See? I wasn't the only one taken in by Mrs G's mystique." Raven argued, quickly earning a shove from her girlfriend. "What? It's not like you don't trump her in every way, babe, but she is objectively a fine woman."
"Raven, stop gushing about my mom." Clarke grumbled as she got into the driver's seat, quickly raising a hand. "O, don't you dare go off on a tangent about Raven gushing last night."
Octavia let out a loud huff and kicked the back of the driver's seat. "You're no fun, Clarke."
"Yeah, this is like, the 'No Fun Zone', Clarke. Mrs G wouldn't have minded." Raven agreed, pushing an absolutely baffling argument that Anya just couldn't let stand.
"I highly doubt that Raven, but even if she didn't, I doubt Clarke would have consented to certain goings-on in this 'No Fun Zone'." Anya stated as she got comfy in her seat and stretched out her legs. "I think you two just enjoy pushing boundaries and maybe have an exhibitionist streak."
Raven let out an oddly gleeful gasp. "Look at you using fancy dirty words, Miss Priss."
"Wait a...what's Anya talking about?" Clarke asked, looking over her shoulder at the duo in the back who had immediately gone silent. "Nuh uh, that innocent act's not gonna work. What the hell did you two do?"
Anya didn't need to see Octavia to know the woman was rolling her eyes and flipping her hair when she heard her trademark frustrated groan. "It's not a big deal, honestly."
"Octavia..." Clarke warned, using her first name for once.
"Okay, so maybe we had sex in the front seat while you and Anya were sleeping in the back. Not a big..." Raven started off in a conciliatory tone, but it clearly wasn't working as she'd hoped when Clarke's hand slammed down on the center console and the blonde glared back at the two women.
"You fucked in my car?!" Clarke raged, before a wave of disgust came over her. "Oh my god, did you at least clean up after yourselves?!"
Anya let out a sigh. "When we woke up that morning in the hotel, and you went to go check in on Raven and Octavia, I went to the car with some Lysol wipes. I'm fairly certain I got it all." She said, not wanting to delay their trip, or beat around the bush.
"So that's why it smelled like lavender in here. Thanks, Anya!" Raven offered with what appeared to be a smile from Anya's peripheral vision.
Clarke's head swung around to face Anya, a brief flicker of betrayal spreading across her face. "You knew?!"
"Octavia joked about it with me after my anxiety attack. I didn't think anything of it until Raven woke me upon arrival at Marysville. Something...it smelled a little off. I decided to check it out just to make sure later on. I cleaned it up, and...I wasn't sure how wise it'd be to tell you before we reached the cape, but I was going to tell you. I just didn't want anything violent or potentially anxiety-inducing to occur where everyone couldn't air their grievances and have all the support they needed. I apologize, Clarke." Anya explained sheepishly, hoping that Clarke would understand the dilemma, and hoping that it wouldn't escalate too much.
"For the record, you have leather seats, so it's not like it'd be hard to clean up. Besides, I only gave Raven road head. The mess was entirely on the driver's seat." Octavia protested flatly, as if it was an annoyance that she had to explain having sex in someone else's vehicle.
"You defiled my car!" Clarke yelled in clear disbelief.
"'Defile' is such a strong word..."
"What the hell would you call it then?!"
"Well, you could consider it as us making a permanent mark in your car so wherever you go, we're with you..."
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Or maybe that we've christened a part of your car for you. I hear that helps, luck-wise."
"How about I..." Clarke started, but Anya had just had enough of the yelling, and she really just wanted everything to be fine. She'd made the mistake of accidentally bringing it up without thinking, so she'd fix it.
Anya took hold of Clarke's hand on the console, ending whatever spiel that had been building in the younger woman's mind. "Clarke, may I please have your ear for a moment?"
Clarke sighed, shook her head, and let out an additional annoyed grunt, but did lean over the console, letting Anya cup the woman's cheek and keep her other hand stroking through those blonde waves.
Anya leaned in close, lips a breath away from Clarke's ear. "They're your closest friends. They're idiots, and make mistakes, but you love them. Forgive them, please, even if you don't have to forget. And..." Anya said, taking a breath and wetting her lips to give herself time to find the words for the rest. "...and perhaps one day, after this trip, we could set up the back seats. No fumbling, no teenage nerves, just the two of us and a long night ahead. So please...let this go for now. If you must find retribution, fine, but...later?"
Clarke's eyes were blown midway through her future date night idea, so it wasn't too much of a surprise to watch the anger and frustration melt away as the younger blonde leaned into her touch. "You'll wear that dress from yesterday?"
The thought of Clarke enjoying that dress as well had her smiling back. "Of course, I adore that dress. I adore you, Clarke."
Clarke's eyes fluttered closed, that cute pink tongue sweeping along her lower lip before the blonde leaned forward and pressed her lips to Anya's cheek, a quarter-inch from the corner of her mouth.
Anya went into a haze of feels for a moment, and as she came out of it, Clarke was leaning over the console and angling her body towards the backseat. "You two are goddamn lucky Anya's here to bail you out."
"Maybe, but I think we're just lucky she has you wrapped around her finger." Octavia teased, making Anya want to yell, because she'd literally just de-escalated the situation, only for her friend to stoke the fire again.
Clarke's jaw clenched, fire burning in those intensely blue eyes. "Don't push it. And besides, her fingers are beautiful." Clarke stated firmly, cocking her head warningly barely a moment after. "Anya just got you off the hook for this. Do you really want to waste her efforts and disappoint her?"
Anya heard Raven's telltale sigh. "Aw, shit, that's not fair. Anya's a total sweetheart."
"Thank you, Raven." Anya noted with a smile, happy to have the woman hold her to such esteem so early in their friendship. If that helped calm the situation, all the better.
"Yeah, thanks, Anya. Maybe you brought it up and narced on us, but you're a gem, you know I love you." Octavia added, sounding a little sheepish.
"I love you too, Octavia." Anya offered, glancing over her shoulder at her friend and sending a smile her way.
"Okay, let's get this show on the road." Clarke stated, starting the car up and putting on her seatbelt.
They were barely down the block before Octavia just had to poke the bear again.
"So, your mom told me you're worried about the tango..."
It was just after noon when they pulled into East Windsor Township for a lunch break. Raven had been clamoring for pizza for about an hour, so they'd tracked down a place called 'Scotto's Pizza', which sounded less than reputable, but they'd been willing to take a risk on it given the solid reviews.
However, upon arrival, Clarke's phone buzzed, apparently a last minute errand from Lexa. She'd dropped them off with a request to leave her some pizza. A little disappointing, since Anya had wanted to share a relaxing lunch together with Clarke, but Lexa's big day was coming up, and she could understand that taking priority.
What was confusing was Raven and Octavia choosing a table for two, in a particularly busy area of the restaurant to boot, leaving Anya to wander off to a more isolated corner and find a table for two, not wanting to take up more space than necessary. Though I suppose after spending so much time around everyone, they could use some time to themselves...they do deserve it...
The place was a little loud, but their pizza looked delightful, so in the interest of getting more for their money and buying some time for Clarke to finish her errand, Anya ordered a medium pepperoni-pineapple pizza. It wasn't her favourite, but Clarke adored it, and she could enjoy it well enough.
In the meantime, she pulled out her phone to play some Tetris, figuring she had some time to waste until the pizza would be ready, or when Clarke came back, whichever arrived first.
She was only a few minutes into her game when she got a text message alert. It was fairly rare to get texts, so Anya quit out and went to her messenger, spotting a text from Lexa.
Lexa
I'm so excited to see you this evening! We have so much to catch up on
Anya smiled at her cousin's enthusiasm, as well as the little prod into her life over the past little while. She'd last been in contact with Lexa when they got back from the park. Her cousin had been left out of the loop during the whole stay in D.C.
Anya
It'll be so wonderful to see you again, Lexa, I'm so excited for you and Costia! And yes, we have much to talk about
Lexa barely needed ten seconds to respond. She's probably getting her hair and makeup done up in a final test run...I think that was scheduled for today...
Lexa
Something happened!
Anya did something happen? You told me that you and Clarke had settled things out after the visit to the park
Did the visit to Abby's go well?
She was just inputting a reply when another message came in.
Lexa
Anya...
With a heavy sigh, she quickly typed out a response to let Lexa know that yes, she would respond. Lexa could be oddly impatient sometimes.
Anya
Patience, baby cousin. Yes, the visit went very well
Lexa
Anya! It is important that I have details! Clarke has been very stingy in that regard
Anya let out a laugh, happy to know Clarke was dedicated to letting her relay information with Lexa instead, even if it wasn't necessary. She didn't mind Clarke speaking with Lexa; her cousin knew everything about her, there wasn't anything to hide.
Anya
I may have bonded with Mrs Griffin. And I may have taught Clarke how to dance and how to bake
Lexa
Is Abby's kitchen alright?
Anya
Haha, yes it is. She was under my supervision. Just...Lexa, Clarke was so sweet. And so romantic.
Lexa
I've never known Clarke to be romantic. A little smooth, perhaps, but not romantic. That's interesting!
Anya
She says I bring it out in her...
Just the memory of Clarke speaking those words had her blushing. Never in her life had Anya thought she could inspire someone to such heights of romance, but Clarke's actions, the way those brilliantly blue eyes look at her, it all had her knowing deep in her heart that she'd been wrong.
Lexa
That's literally the most adorable thing I've heard/read all week. Costia's squealing over here
Anya was just about to respond when a text from Clarke came in.
Clarke
Hey, I got what Lexa asked for, but it's gonna be a tight fit in the back. Can I get your help out here for a sec?
Anya smiled that Clarke hadn't taken much time at all, and opened her message string with Lexa again.
Anya
Clarke just got back from the errand you sent her on. I'll get back to you momentarily!
With that, she pocketed her phone in her skirt and got up, leaving her bag behind with the assumption it'd only take a moment.
Anya made her way outside, only needing a few seconds to spot Clarke's vehicle, the back hatch lifted already. Funny...I was playing Tetris, and Clarke's probably doing the same with all the cargo in the back...
Anya had a wide smile on her face as she rounded the vehicle, fully expecting Clarke to have that scrunchy concentrated look on her face, but she was met with the blonde casually leaning up against the back, looking oddly nervous.
"What do you need my help with, Clarke?" She asked, eyes scanning over the packing job they'd done that morning, not seeing anything amiss or new.
"I've had a really great trip so far, Anya. Meeting you, and getting to know you..." Clarke started, swallowing hard for a moment as she wet her lips. "It feels like I've started a new chapter of my life. Like, 'Chapter Seven: Where I met the most wonderful woman in the world'. Like every chapter of my life has been leading up to this, and maybe it's too soon to say that, but my head's been a mess these past few days, and..."
Anya's eyes were wide, and she could feel tears coming on as that absurdly sweet chapter title bounced around in her head over and over, but Clarke's words insisted she focus, that she had to pay full attention to the woman who'd been stealing her heart for days now.
Clarke let out a frustrated sigh and shook her head. "I...Anya, I should have asked you yesterday, but I was too caught up in you, so..." Clarke started again, taking another steadying breath before stepping away from the car, revealing a hand holding a bouquet of yellow roses with red tips that had Anya's heart stuttering and her hands shaking as they came up to cover her mouth. "Anya, will you do me the absolute honor of being my girlfriend?"
Anya tried willing herself to speak, but words wouldn't come, not with her throat constricted and tight from the tears welling in her eyes. Clarke Griffin had asked her to be her girlfriend. Clarke Griffin had given her flowers, ones that explicitly meant that the one giving them was falling in love with her.
She'd never wanted to kiss anyone so badly in her life.
Instead, she rushed forward and pulled Clarke into an embrace, adoring the feel of the other blonde's arms immediately wrapping around her and holding her close.
"Is that a yes?" Clarke murmured nervously, more than a little hope shining through each syllable.
Anya nodded vigorously into Clarke's neck and squeezed her tighter, wanting her to know how happy she was, and wanting to wait for a better, more private time for their first kiss than in the middle of a parking lot, at the back of Clarke's car.
"Yes, yes, of course!" Anya choked out as she clung to Clarke, the strength leaving her body when Clarke started peppering her head with kisses, Anya too overwhelmed to work her legs.
"Whoa! Easy, baby..." Clarke said with a laugh, setting them down to sit on the lip of the cargo area. "There we go, beautiful." The woman reassured, kissing her cheek and temple as soon as they were seated again.
It was all still so overwhelming, like a dream. She had to be certain. "So...you're my girlfriend?"
Clarke's smile was dazzling. "Yeah!" The other blonde let out happily, all bright eyed and giddy.
"We're girlfriends. We're dating." Anya confirmed, earning quick nods from Clarke, whose smile only grew bigger. "And you're falling in love with me?"
Clarke's cheeks had been a little pink before, but it was amusing watching them go completely red. Still, despite the blushing, Clarke held her gaze, that smile softening a bit even as her eyes seemed to widen in shock for a moment. "I...god, yeah, I am. I really am. I know it might seem fast, but I'm falling hard for you, Anya. I've never felt like this before."
"Not even with Lexa?" Anya felt herself blurting out, cursing the words as they filled the tiny sliver of air between them, loathing herself for voicing them when Clarke shifted away a little to create distance.
"No, not even with Lexa. Where's this coming from?" Clarke asked, thankfully abstaining from laughing this time around, because Anya wasn't sure she would have been able to take that.
Unsure how to respond, she gave an uncharacteristic shrug. "You said you loved Lexa. Back when you were dating."
Clarke let out a curious hum. "Lexa told you that, I guess. Yeah, that was during her and Costia's break. And I did love her with all my heart, Anya. It's just that...things with her were different."
Anya felt small at the wishy-washy admission. "How can it be different?"
"I love my mom with all my heart. I love Raven and Octavia with all my heart. And I love Lexa with all my heart. Lexa's been my best friend for years, and...honestly, she was the first girl I had any sort of romantic feelings for. I knew her so well, and we were attached at the hip, we were intimate...she made me feel wonderful. So when she and Costia broke up, I tried to see if we could have something." Clarke explained, not doing a particularly great job at dissuading Anya from feeling like she was a second choice, but perhaps Clarke didn't think that important.
"And then?" Anya asked, wanting Clarke to help her understand what she was getting at.
"And then things started to develop. Friendship started shifting into something different, and maybe...maybe we might have worked out if we had enough time, and the conditions were right, but I could tell that she was still head over heels in love with Costia. I really liked Lexa, I had a crush on Lexa, I wanted to fall in love with her, but I didn't fall in love with her. I've never fallen in love with anyone before." Clarke finished with a shy smile, bumping Anya's shoulder. "So like I said...I've never felt like this before."
Anya just stared, mouth agape at the woman beside her. Honestly, she'd been guilt-free about her actions for years, but ever since she got closer with Clarke, and drove closer to their destination, guilt had started eating her up a bit.
"So the fact that I told Lexa to go back to Costia, and set up a time and place for them to bump into each other again while the two of you were still dating..." Anya mumbled, voice trailing off, hoping Clarke would have some sort of conclusive response so she could understand how to feel about it.
She'd expected numerous reactions in a wide range, but Clarke's laughter caught her off guard. "For the best, really. She'd been the closest to a romantic, loving relationship I'd had, but...yeah, she was meant to be with Costia. She was happier with Costia. I'm a hundred percent happy being her best friend. It all worked out."
"So you're not upset?" Anya asked, wanting one last confirmation, needing one last confirmation.
Clarke scooted closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm telling you...that song last night...Anya, if I knew you back then, if I met you when Lexa had wanted us to, I'm sure I would have been head over heels like I am now. But we didn't meet back then. We're here now...I'm your girlfriend, and I'm falling in love with you, Anya. I wouldn't change it for the world."
Anya reached out and took hold of Clarke's free hand. "You know I'm going to be smiling for the rest of the day now, right?" Anya asked rhetorically as she leaned to kiss Clarke on the cheek, letting her lips linger there for long enough to hopefully send a message that she'd really rather they stay there and enjoy each other's company all day. "But can we continue my descent into love for you inside? I ordered us a pizza a few minutes ago, it should be ready soon."
Clarke let out a gleeful gasp. "What kind?"
"What do you think?" Anya asked, rolling her eyes, the flatness of her tone enough of a cue for Clarke to let out a cheer.
"Pepperoni-pineapple? Oh, babe, you're too good to me!" Clarke exclaimed, pressing a quick but lovely kiss to her cheek that had Anya smiling wider.
Anya pushed off the car with one hand to get to her feet, and took the bouquet of roses with the other, giving them the attention they deserved for the moment, enjoying their delightful aroma. "These are so lovely, Clarke. Thank you." She noted, peering over the tips of the roses to her girlfriend.
Her girlfriend. Anya had the feeling that she wouldn't need long to adjust to the term.
"Anything to make you smile." Clarke said, blushing all prettily and smiling with a little more confidence now as she closed the trunk of the car. "Come on, let's head in."
Hand in hand, they made their way back to the restaurant, most of the crowd not noticing when they stepped inside. Octavia and Raven, however, were staring obnoxiously at them through the crowd of people between their tables. Oh well...their decision to eat in the middle of the busiest area...
Barely a minute after settling in, their order was called up. Anya got to her feet before Clarke could, and ignored her girlfriend's huff as she went and got their food.
The older man behind the counter slid the pizza box over the counter at her and shot her a conspiratorial smile. "Flowers from the missus?"
Anya was taken aback a little bit, not at all used to having her personal life discussed in public, but after a brief moment of surprise, she settled into a smile. "Yes, I'm very lucky."
"Ah, but she looks at you like you hung the moon, Miss. Not a sweeter smell than love in the air, I tell you." He added with a hearty laugh. "Thank you for choosing our restaurant for your date, I hope you ladies enjoy your meal."
"Thank you!" She answered with more enthusiasm than she'd expected, but it just felt nice to be validated so openly like that. And perhaps the idea of Clarke looking at her the way he described had her in an even better mood than her impossibly good one she'd come to the counter with.
"What's got you smiling?" Clarke asked as she sat back down and placed the box of pizza between them.
"You, today, everything..." Anya murmured, shy from all the overwhelming affection that had been sent her way in such a brief period of time. As Clarke quickly dove in and pulled out a slice of pizza, Anya re-checked her phone and let out a laugh.
Lexa
What errand?
Anya? What errand? I didn't give Clarke an errand today
Anya, Clarke's not answering my texts, if you can tell her to answer my texts that would be wonderful
Now both of you aren't answering. Did something happen? Do I have to fly down?!
Anya, I'm on the website, ready to reserve tickets. If you don't answer within the next ten minutes I'm catching the next flight to Newark. Please answer
Anya shook her head and set up the bouquet of roses against the window beside her, angling them just right before taking a photo. She left it uncaptioned and sent it off to Lexa.
Anya
*picture attached*
We'll be there in a few hours, Lexa. Please relax, and don't bombard my girlfriend with texts. I love you :heart:
Anya put her phone back in her bag, not at all surprised when alert after alert for new texts rolled in. Lexa was probably in the middle of thirsting for answers and directing nearby helpers to set up her and Clarke's little pool house with extra candles for mood lighting.
Either way, she was starting to feel excited about going to the wedding now. Before, it was purely to see Lexa bind herself to the love of her life in a wonderful ceremony, but now, she was excited to just be there. To spend time with Lexa, to be around friends and the family she loved, and now to enjoy Clarke's company and see where they were headed in their new relationship.
It was all exciting, and even the less than ideal presence of pineapple on her pizza couldn't dim her smile or her mood.
It was a day of firsts. She'd never been given flowers as a gift. She'd never been asked to be anyone's girlfriend. She'd never been in a relationship that ran deep enough to where she could admit she was falling in love. She'd never been out on a date; yes, she counted lunch as their first. There were flowers and food, and they were alone together, of course it was a date.
And now, as they pulled up to Lexa's home on the outskirts of Chatham, Anya could check off going to a family member's wedding, another first. And in two days, she could check off being a bridesmaid.
There were a lot of firsts, but pulling up Lexa's driveway, seeing her cousin out on the porch waiting for them, knowing Clarke and Octavia and Raven were at her side, it all gave her enough strength to feel that she could do this.
As soon as the car was stopped, Anya had her door open. Perhaps it was a little discourteous, but she hadn't seen Lexa up close in a long time. She made her way up the walkway to the porch, and let out a laugh at Lexa just standing there, hands clasped behind her back, standing all regal-like.
She made her way up the steps and stood in front of the bride-to-be. "Hello, baby cousin."
"You didn't answer my messages." Lexa stated flatly, face not giving away a shred of emotion.
"You didn't have to send me seventy two texts after I told you we'd be here this evening." Anya shot back equally as calmly.
"You were the one who sent me the image of those flowers and told me to leave your girlfriend be." Lexa added, the slightest hint of emotion showing, frustration flickering at the corner of her eyes and tainting the odd word.
"You were the one who had a busy schedule this afternoon. Are all of the lights set up and working properly?" Anya asked, earning a shake of Lexa's head that officially ended their game.
"Don't derail from the topic. You and Clarke?" Lexa asked, breaking out an excited smile, which only thrilled Anya. Any time Lexa was happy for her, she was happy.
"You saw the flowers." Anya answered simply with a grin as she leaned against the porch railing. Her cousin knew flower language as well as she did.
"I made sure to decorate the pool house with extra candles, and I swapped out the sheets for our best set. Everything's ready for when you settle in after dinner." Lexa stated confidently, clearly proud of herself for her efforts. Anya felt all of her cousin's living spaces were fire hazards, but somehow Lexa hadn't managed to burn any buildings down yet.
Anya just gave a thankful nod, knowing Lexa didn't have to put in the effort. "Anyway, enough about me..."
"Not enough. The next two days will be centred around me and Costia. This is the last day we have to focus on someone else. Please." Lexa asked, earning a laugh from the walkway.
"Actually, Anya, would you mind if I grabbed Lexa for a minute? I think we have some catching up to do." Clarke requested as she made her way up the steps. Anya gauged her girlfriend's face for any trouble and saw none, so she nodded. Not that anyone needed her permission, but she just didn't want any potential arguments, and she knew Clarke was still miffed about the childhood outings.
"I suppose I'll be back soon, then. You can catch Costia inside, I'm sure she'd love to see you again." Lexa offered before walking off with Clarke down the length of the porch.
Curious to see how the other bride was doing, Anya made her way indoors, humming happily at the smell of Costia's mother's homemade jambalaya. The door had barely shut when a familiar face leaned around the corner leading into the kitchen, Costia's mother breaking out into a wide smile.
"My sweet Anya!" The woman cheered, something rattling as it fell to the countertop in the woman's haste to rush over and pull Anya into a surprising embrace.
"Mrs Reed, it's wonderful to see you again!" She noted jovially, just clinging to the older woman. Anya had only ever met her twice, but much like Mrs Griffin, she'd made her feel at home. She'd once thought the woman was an absolute anomaly, but after being around Clarke's mom, she started to wonder if there were a lot more good ones out there.
"It's been too long, child. Seven years! Are you telling me you couldn't have come up once in seven years?" Mrs Reed asked with a critical eye, even if her words were nothing but welcoming and joyful.
Anya just shook her head. "Lots of family up here, Mrs Reed. I couldn't risk it."
"Well I'm just happy to know that's changing. I'm going to hold you to quarterly visits, and you know I'm serious about that." The older woman half stated and half threatened, but with the future being so open, Anya knew she'd make it happen. It was important to include as many positive people as possible in one's life, and while it'd been easier to see Lexa and Costia regularly enough, she'd make time for Mrs Reed.
"Mama, stop hassling Anya, she's had a long ride. She came up on Clarke's road trip, she's been living out of a suitcase for a week." Anya heard Costia say from a distance, the younger woman soon rounding the corner with a sauce-covered spoon in hand. "Honestly, it's a wonder you're still alive after how Octavia and Raven get on."
Anya let out a laugh and left Mrs Reed's embrace, only for Costia to pull her into a bear hug of her own. "They behaved themselves, somewhat. We had a close call or three." Anya said when she regained her ability to breathe, adding that amendment at the end as she remembered last night and that morning.
"Come on, let's go sit for a bit. The sauce will be fine for a few minutes, mama." Costia said, chiding her mother when the woman looked over her shoulder towards the kitchen.
"Very well, then. Come on, loves." The older woman said with a shooing gesture, prompting her to follow Costia into the family room, taking a seat in a cozy looking armchair while the Reed women took up the sofa. "Seven years...what's new and exciting that's happened since then?
The woman had always come across as a bit overeager and a gossip, but a well-meaning one, much like Costia. It wouldn't hurt to share some information. "Well, nothing incredibly interesting in the past few years. I've published a few books, and my career's stable, which isn't exciting, but it's nice, given that I love what I do." Anya started off, fighting her blush as she considered newer revelations.
Unfortunately, with how well lit the room was, and how detail oriented the Reeds were, her tell was plain as day. "Ohhh, something happened! I knew it! Lexa's been so emotional every time you got back to her with messages, but she's been so tight-lipped about it all."
"Yes, well...a few days ago, Clarke made it clear that she was interested in me." Anya continued, pausing when Costia and her mother broke out into happy cheers for a moment before trying to settle themselves down, gesturing for her to continue. She offered a thankful nod, knowing they were trying to contain themselves. "I deal with anxiety, and that caused a reaction, and I had some concerns. But over the past few days...I'm not worried anymore. Clarke...she's so wonderful. I like her as much as she likes me, and she asked me to be her girlfriend today, and I accepted."
Apparently, that was the final straw for Costia's reserves, the bubbly woman lunging onto her and tackling her into an excited hug. "Oh my god I knew it! I knew you two would be so perfect, and...oh my god, Lexa's gonna be so happy! And Clarke, oh, she's incredible! You're a writer, she's a painter, you two are going to make beautiful art together." Costia practically squealed, before freezing in place all wide-eyed. "Oh, but what about the reception? Clarke doesn't dance. Do you need me or Lexa to step in here or there?"
Anya just laughed. "Apparently Clarke's reputation precedes her, but no. I'll be teaching Clarke to dance, and she'll be ready. Thank you for the offer, Costia. You're really too kind."
"Oh, it's no problem. I guess I'll have to wait and see you weave your magic. But I'll change around the bridal party dance pairs so you and Clarke are together, if you're that confident." Costia offered with a raised eyebrow, clearly still a bit skeptical.
"Thank you, Costia, we would appreciate that." Anya said with another thankful smile, knowing Lexa would have made it happen, but Costia had been planning the wedding herself, so it'd be much easier to have changes made by the planner herself.
"Now, as fortune has it, we'd already seated you and Clarke at a table. And while we could only...minimize how exposed you are to your former family, we do have Nia Frost and those family members of Lexa's on the opposite corner of the reception hall. We want the night to be wonderful for all, love, and we're going to do our best to keep them away from you. Lord knows they won't be happy when they arrive tomorrow and you're at the rehearsal by Lexa's side." Mrs Reed added, lifting a weight in Anya's chest at the knowledge that she'd be seated away from one of her largest tormentors from her childhood, and that she'd have Clarke right beside her.
Still, just the mention of the woman's name sent a chill down her spine and had her remembering why she'd halfway dreaded going to the wedding in the first place.
"Mmmm, something smells fantastic!" She heard Clarke call out from the front foyer, providing the best of distractions.
"We're in here, Clarke!" Costia called out in return as the bride-to-be's mother got up.
"And that's my cue to tend to the food. Otherwise, I think Lexa and Clarke would busy themselves with sneaking a taste." Mrs Reed noted loudly with a grin.
Clarke's gasp of fake outrage only somewhat masked Lexa's laughter. "Aw, come on, Bea, we've been on the road for days!"
"A little birdie told me you all had a home cooked meal last night, so that excuse will not fly in this house, child." Mrs Reed shot back immediately, giving Clarke and Lexa hugs on her way back to the kitchen. "Dinner should be ready in an hour. I'm sure Abe will be back with Raven and Octavia once they have their things settled into the bay-side house."
"Sounds good, mama." Lexa acknowledged warmly, surprisingly pulling Anya's bouquet from behind her back, settling them into a vase, and carrying it toward the family room.
If there was one amazing thing about Lexa and Costia's relationship, it's that Mrs Reed had practically considered Lexa her child from the word go. And when the Woods parents had passed on, Lexa still had a mother-in-law there for her, and Abe had apparently been good with her too, even if his travel schedule meant he wasn't around nearly as often.
Lexa deserved a big family. Lexa deserved an accepting, loving family. It was only right that she'd now have it officially, in legal documentation, for it to be acknowledged as the very real group it was.
Clarke made a beeline for her and stretched her arms out. "Up, up, up!" Clarke demanded playfully. Clarke was always cute, but especially so when she was playful and had that mischievous sparkle in her eye, so she couldn't help but reach out and place her hands in the younger woman's.
Her girlfriend pulled Anya to her feet, quickly slipped around her, and plopped down where she'd been sitting. Anya just cocked an unimpressed eyebrow, waiting for Clarke to explain.
Clarke, of course, just smiled even wider and patted her lap. Anya rolled her eyes, hoping it'd balance out the blush on her cheeks as she sat sideways on her girlfriend's lap, arms gently slung around Clarke's neck. Perhaps she pressed a quick kiss to Clarke's cheek for the courtesy.
"I feel like I'm going to explode from happy feels. Lexa, can you bel..." Costia started as Lexa sat down beside her and placed the vase on the coffee table, only for the bubbly woman to let out a noise so high pitched it was a wonder that glass didn't shatter. Immediately, Costia's hand was covering her mouth, head on a swivel as she looked between the bouquet and the two of them.
Lexa just laughed as Costia's free hand started aimlessly prodding at her. "I saw, love. Anya sent me a picture of them around noon."
"So that's what your happy dance was for!" Costia noted with another gasp, filling Anya's mind with the amusing notion of Lexa doing the running man or the electric slide after seeing her message. "Oh, my little Clarke, you're all grown up and falling in love!"
"I'm seven weeks older than you, Cos." Clarke protested with a laugh, holding Anya tighter in her arms. "But yeah, Anya's special. I always thought what you two had was a miracle, something I'd be lucky to just witness during my life. But Anya..." Clarke continued, turning those brilliant blue eyes back at her, Anya adoring how they softened so quickly. "She makes me feel like maybe if you find someone who makes you a better person, maybe if you're lucky enough for someone special to come into your life and extinguish all the shadows with their light, maybe if you're willing to put your heart out there for the taking, that maybe there's enough magic in the universe for everyone to have that kind of love."
Anya was tired of crying, but when they were tears of joy from Clarke professing her love, she couldn't find it in herself to mind. "Clarke..."
Clarke's lips descended on her temple, her cheek, then her nose, each stoking an ever building flame inside of Anya that was only contained by her girlfriend mouthing 'soon' as those sapphire eyes were fixed upon her lips, almost as if Clarke needed convincing not to kiss her right then.
Anya wasn't even sure she'd be remotely opposed, even if she loved the security of planning and prepping for it in advance. With every passing second, her urge to kiss Clarke bloomed more and more, and even if it was terrifying from her lack of experience, she yearned.
Oh god, did she yearn.
"...so cute..." Costia's murmur reached their ears, Clarke's blues darting off to the sofa as she nuzzled Anya's cheek. "Um, uh, so I think I have a little errand to run about the, uh, the backyard...the garden. Yes."
"I'm moving my full emergency reserve of candles into the pool house." Lexa noted in agreement, eyes all big and watery, making those deep green irises look like tiny ponds.
Costia jabbed into Lexa's side with an elbow. "Don't be so obvious!" The woman whispered loudly; Costia had never quite mastered the art of being quiet, and she kind of loved her all the more for it.
"Yes, because you rushing off to the florist isn't suspicious at all, love." Lexa countered quickly as she pulled Costia in for a kiss that erased her bride's pout.
"We appreciate the effort, but please, we'll be fine. You've been more than gracious." Anya insisted, but both brides shot her a warning look and shook their heads.
"You protest for nothing. It is done, Anya." Lexa stated flatly, as if she'd just given a royal decree. "You two, who I love dearly, will continue canoodling while Costia and I run our errands. Mama will call for dinner eventually."
With that, both brides practically dashed out of the family room, leaving Clarke and Anya alone.
"They're insufferable, as always." Anya let out with a sigh, wishing the two of them wouldn't put so much effort into things they didn't need to.
"They love us, and they want to spoil us in their own weird ways. Let them...maybe we deserve a little pampering." Clarke added, pressing a kiss to her neck that Anya smiled at, moving to run a hand through her girlfriend's hair.
"So long as we remember to blow out the candles. Otherwise, the entire building will catch fire." Anya halfway joked, knowing that with how extra Lexa was being with her candles, it very well could be a severe fire hazard.
"Mmn, of course." Clarke agreed, smiling against her neck. "Are you okay?"
Anya felt herself still for a moment in confusion, unsure why Clarke would ask that. "Of course, why?"
"It's just, I kind of got all sappy there in front of them, and I didn't clear it with you. I didn't want to make you anxious or anything." Clarke explained, only making Anya impossibly more endeared to her.
"Darling, this is Lexa. It's Costia. They're my family. Anything you say to me, you can say in front of them." Anya clarified, hoping it'd help Clarke feel less worried about saying the wrong thing going forward. Around others, perhaps it might impact her, but not those two. "If I'm worried about anything, it's about the less savory members of Lexa's family."
Clarke nose trailed a path up and down her neck at a gloriously languid pace. "Baby, you're so strong. You really are, but here, at this wedding? You don't have to be. Use me as a shield, I'll tell them to fuck off, or make them fuck off. Lexa's not going to kill me if I curse and swear on her wedding day. And then you've got the brides who you know would go to war for you. Raven would be able to make a person disappear with science, and O would help her get away with it with her cop magic." Clarke rambled as she clutched Anya tighter, the younger blonde's face burrowing into her neck. She could practically feel the worry-fueled hard swallow Clarke made. "And then there's Bea, who will kick anyone out of the wedding if they made you at all feel unsafe. So you're strong, and I know you can handle yourself, but please tag us in if anything happens and we're not around, okay?"
Anya had always fought her own battles. Each and every one, she'd taken the full brunt of it and managed the aftermath and her emotional state after. She'd been expecting to have to do the same merely a week ago, but now, Anya wondered if maybe, just maybe, she could fight those instincts and let her family and friends file in beside her. Maybe this time, she wouldn't have to take it on alone.
Clarke had her believing that maybe this time, she could let herself be taken care of. Even if just a little bit.
"I want to say I will, but habits are hard to break, darling." Anya murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of Clarke's head. "They drag me in and they push me and claw at me until I fight back."
"If nothing else, Anya, I want your fight to be over. You deserve to be free of it. I want you to be okay." Clarke spoke, voice thick with emotion that had come on unseen. It had Anya scrambling to pull Clarke's face away from her neck, instinctively dipping forward to kiss away her tears, loving how normal Clarke made the act feel, loving how tender and affectionate she was encouraged to be, loving the sheer comfort that Clarke's emotions brought her.
She'd never had anyone care like this. Heck, she'd never had anyone she'd loved like this, and she wasn't about to let go. "I feel that so long as you're with me, I'll be just fine."
"Then we'll get through this together. You and me, hand in hand, okay?" Clarke asked, staring up tearfully at her, with such fierce protectiveness blazing in her eyes.
How could she deny Clarke anything when she looked at her like that?
Anya knit a pair of their hands together and brought them to her lips. "Together, darling."
Costia's home had always had a 'cooks don't clean' rule, which meant Mrs Reed was out front relaxing on the porch swing while the rest of them were given duties throughout the house. Clarke, having driven for hours over the road trip, had been given the easiest of the tasks, wiping the table down and ferrying everything into the kitchen to be cleaned. After that, Anya's girlfriend had disappeared.
Raven and Octavia had done some scrubbing, but Abe had since ushered them back into the car and shuttled them off to the house they'd be staying in for the duration of the wedding period, leaving Anya with Costia and Lexa.
Who, apparently, were too busy being cute with each other to accomplish much, but Anya didn't mind. Being on the road trip with nearly nothing to do had driven her a little stir crazy, and it was nice to just do some mindless labour to help clear her head and relax.
It was easy. Brain off, hands scrub then place object on one of the racks to dry. When finished scrubbing, grab towel and finish drying. Simple. Easy. Mindless.
In a world where her mind is almost always on the go and focused on something, it was nice sometimes to just escape and enjoy the quiet.
Anya only realized she'd cleaned all the dishes when she reached to put something away and only found open air. Snapping out of her haze, she realized that Lexa and Costia had left as well. Even with the bachelorette parties having taken place a month and a half ago, tomorrow would still be relentlessly hectic for them, so she understood them packing it in, even if it left her alone for the moment.
"Looks like you're out of work to do."
Or maybe not so alone... she thought with a grin, not at all surprised when Clarke's arms wrapped around her waist.
"Mmmh. I suppose so." She answered softly as she leaned back into her girlfriend's embrace.
"Well we can't have that. You know what they say about idle hands." Clarke added, lips grazing her right ear, hot puffs of breath wafting against her neck as Clarke undid the tie to her apron.
"You're in luck, darling. It just so happens I'm open to suggestions." Anya shot back playfully, bringing a hand up to run through blonde locks and cup Clarke's cheek.
The low laughter that escaped Clarke had a fire immediately sparking in her belly. "I love when you touch me like this, but I have something better in mind." Clarke teased, taking a half step away to pull the apron up and over Anya's head. "Now, I'm going to need your hands for something very, very important..." Clarke continued, words eventually coming out at a crawl near the end.
Anya was ready, back still turned, knowing at any moment, something could happen. Perhaps it was tame to others, but in the moment, Anya couldn't help but feel exhilarated.
But when Clarke scooped her up bridal style, Anya's arms needed a moment to properly support herself around Clarke's neck because the mere motion stole her breath and left her wide-eyed and buzzing with anticipation.
"Ready, baby?" Clarke whispered, face a breath apart from her own.
"Please..." Anya asked, more like pleaded, all the built up fire and yearning scorching through her insides with each breath.
Clarke's eyes were intensely dark, only a thin ring of vibrant blue shining around her cornea. "Tonight's the last night you ever have to ask that, Anya."
Clarke's strides were smooth and measured as her girlfriend carried her out the back door and down the steps towards the pool house. It wasn't a long walk, but she knew Clarke's arm strength wasn't much to write home about.
Still, Clarke didn't waver at all, walking across the threshold and into the open concept kitchen-slash-living room. Anya had been there before, but never like this.
The entire home was blooming with candle light, giving the place a romantic glow given the twilight hour. Circus rose petals were scattered around the floor generously in a path to the bedroom, each step towards their destination making her heart pound a little harder, a little faster.
Clarke kicked the bedroom door shut behind them and stumbled as she went to let Anya down onto the bed, Anya bouncing off the mattress a little as Clarke let out a self-deprecating huff, but it was just the thing to get her racing heart relaxing, recognizing that this was Clarke. Her Clarke.
Her goofy, passionate, sweetheart of a girlfriend who would overexert herself just to try and set the mood as romantically as possible.
Her beautiful, wonderful girlfriend who made everything feel new again, yet had her feeling she'd known her all her life at the same time.
Her thoughtful, witty girlfriend who had a heart of gold and a penchant for beating herself up over nothing.
"I need you, Clarke." Anya choked out, heart starting to calm as she reached up, lip quivering, body thirsting for the younger blonde's touch.
Her words broke Clarke out of her disappointment, blowing those pupils the rest of the way as Clarke crawled onto the bed and over Anya, blonde locks curtaining their faces and shutting out the candlelight.
"Are you okay?" Clarke asked in a whisper, hand gently brushing down her cheek, and even in those fully blown eyes, she could see the sheer openness of the woman above her. That she could end it there and spend the night cuddling, and Clarke would be over the moon, but that if she was ready, Clarke was too.
And while her heart was still thudding heavily in her chest, and her skull felt like a battle drum with the blood pumping so powerfully to it, Anya knew in her heart that she was as prepared as she ever could be, and even if she wasn't, she still would have given her small, firm nod as she wet her lips.
The gentle pressure of the thumb stroking against her cheek helped ease her nerves as Clarke dipped lower and Anya angled up, not knowing what to do, or what to expect. Clarke didn't hesitate as she closed the last inch and pillowed Anya's upper lip.
The rush of bliss that flowed through her entire being at the deliciously feather-soft pressure has her inert for a moment, but her girlfriend wasn't deterred as Anya's brain recalibrated, pulling away ever so slightly to press another kiss.
It was an overwhelming sensation, and Anya found her arms wrapping around Clarke and keeping her close, wanting to keep feeling this rush, wanting to learn, wanting to give back as she tested out a bit of gentle pressure with her own lips that immediately had Clarke letting out a whimper.
Did I...? Anya wondered as she brought a hand up from Clarke's back and ran it through her hair as she pressed, lips still closed, against Clarke's.
Anya fought the feeling of devastation as Clarke pulled away, but the dazzling smile put a hold on that meltdown. "That's it, baby. Just be patient and follow my lead. And, uh...keep running your hand through my hair, maybe? I really like that."
The boost of confidence from Clarke's words, from Clarke's blush, was immeasurable as her girlfriend pulled her into another kiss, Anya feeling more receptive now, more thrilled than anxious as she took in how Clarke moved against her, at the angles she came in at, at the way Clarke would use her free hand to caress her and would nuzzle her nose when catching her breath.
It was a crash course in Clarke Griffin, but Anya had always been good at adapting quickly, and soon enough, she was angling up after a breath of air to pull Clarke into a kiss, smiling into it as Clarke melted into her, letting out the most content sound Anya had ever heard in her long life.
With each kiss, Anya felt those doubts and worries disintegrate. She heard the voices of all the other women crackle out into the aether. She felt her internal volumes of self love finally wrapped up in an outer cover marked with today's date and signed with the signature of Clarke's lips, knowing she'd been right all along, she had been loveable.
That she was loveable, Clarke filling all the spare recesses and chambers of her heart with her love and light, as if the other blonde had belonged there all along.
Before she knew it, Clarke was pulling away, staring down at her with concerned eyes. It was only the separation that clued her into the fact that her lip was quivering again, that her vision was blurred for all the right reasons.
Anya fought through one hitched breath, and then another, before finally catching her breath and easing into a wet smile. "Wow."
It was all her lungs could muster at the moment, but it was enough for Clarke to break into a light, melodic laugh, thumb lifting up to wipe away Anya's tears. "'Wow' yourself, beautiful. I knew you'd catch on fast."
"That makes one of us." Anya laughed, running her hand through Clarke's hair one last time before pulling her girlfriend all the way down to lie with her. "You had such faith in me."
"You're resilient. You weren't going to be done in by kissing of all things. You have too much love in you." Clarke noted softly before guiding Anya into a lingering, languid kiss. "You're already so good at reading me. We'll bring in tongue another time, but for now, that was everything I'd hoped for...you were everything I'd hoped for."
Anya watched Clarke's eyes flicker to the side, but there was nowhere to escape the sudden emotion there, or the slight wetness that had Anya wiping away Clarke's tears for once. "Are you okay, darling?"
"I just really want to hold you. And I really want you to hold me." Clarke murmured shyly, eyes slipping closed as Clarke curled in on herself a little, only as much as Anya's embrace would allow.
Anya considered Clarke's words from earlier, a plan coming to mind. "I'll put out the candles. You just lay here and let me take care of you."
Clarke let out a shaky huff, but nodded, letting out the faintest whimper when Anya separated from her. It was more than a little endearing, and had Anya's body working faster than she thought it could as she breezed through the home and put out all the candles. Being in bed before nine at night was rather novel, but for Clarke?
Well, she'd probably stay in bed all day if Clarke asked.
She returned to the bedroom to find Clarke sitting up in the middle of it, eyes wide, frame shaking slightly, clearly emotionally raw. However of a change the past minutes had been on her, it'd also shifted Clarke on her axis as well.
A few puffs of air later, and the room was cast in darkness, Anya easily ambling back onto the bed, straddling Clarke's lap. Slowly, carefully, she wrapped an arm around Clarke's neck and dipped them back down onto the bed, letting her head rest on Clarke's shoulder. She snuck her other arm around Clarke's back and snuggled into the warm woman's frame.
It took Clarke a second, but those pale arms wrapped around her, holding Anya atop her and keeping her snugly in place. Clarke's relieved sigh was music to her ears.
"Wait, you're all dressed, still. Shit" Clarke mumbled with a frustrated huff. "Sorry. I meant to...you know..."
Anya put the pieces together and giggled into her girlfriend's neck, realizing Clarke had carried her from Costia's in her sleep shorts. "It's okay. Honestly, I wasn't paying attention to what you were wearing. Too busy watching your face, or the candles, or the flowers. You really outdid yourself here."
"I had some help, but thanks." Clarke stated with a happy hum. "So, if I let go of you, will you change and come back to this?"
Anya nodded against her and slowly leaned back until she was sitting up, straddling Clarke's hips. Carefully, Anya reached behind and pulled her zipper down enough for her to pull the summer dress over her head and fling it off onto the floor, leaving her in the second thing she'd bought back in D.C.
Riding the wave of confidence from kissing, it was hard not to take Clarke's sputtering as a compliment. "Too much?" She asked, gesturing down at the black silk and lace chemise she'd been using as a slip all day.
"Never." Clarke whispered, tugging at her hand again, easily prompting Anya to return to her position on top of the woman. "You're not tired, are you?"
"No, not yet." Anya answered simply as she got comfy again.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to bore you, You..." Clarke started, and while Anya couldn't predict Clarke's eventual misguided conclusion, she did know it'd be misguided and less than relevant.
"Clarke, I'm happy to be here with you, curled up with you for hours. I won't be bored with the woman I'm falling in love with holding me in her arms, and with you in mine. Quiet time with you, where I can just exist in your comfort and safety, and completely relax? I'd love that. That's so valuable for someone like me, darling." Anya reassured, pressing a kiss to the base of Clarke's neck to hopefully push her point home. "I'm right where I want to be."
Silence stretched on between them, only each other's heartbeats and the occasional gentle rustling of sheets around their legs filling the room. Anya was eventually almost certain Clarke had fallen asleep, with her hold having slackened slightly, and her breathing having gone steady and deep, but a soft, tired voice eventually met her ear.
"Anya? Can you...no, nevermind." Clarke aborted her request before it even began, which had her curious about the nature of it.
"No, please. Ask me." Anya prodded, voice sleepy and sweet from the heat of Clarke's body slowly drifting her towards slumber.
"Will you sing to me?" Clarke's request was so quiet and muffled that she needed a few moments to decipher it.
Honestly, Anya rarely sang, as a rule. She wasn't fond of her singing voice, but she'd occasionally sing in the shower, or while gardening, or whenever the mood truly struck her. It had been years since she'd sang in front of anyone, but she didn't feel the same anxiety or apprehension with Clarke.
Clarke couldn't have picked a more opportune time. Anya shifted slightly to where she could get a little more comfortable, and let her eyes slip shut. "Lying here with you so close to me...it's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe..."
Anya continued along, singing softly from through verses and choruses, knowing her choice was entirely sappy, but fit perfectly. As her rendition drew to a close, Anya lifted her head a little bit, only to realize that Clarke had drifted off mid-song.
Whatever her opinion on her voice, Anya took some pleasure, knowing it had helped ease Clarke into slumber. "I'm more than alright with a kiss goodnight." She murmured to herself, smiling as she brought her lips down onto Clarke's one final time before settling in for a long, restful sleep.
Whatever tomorrow brought, she'd have Clarke, she'd have her family, and she'd have love blooming in her heart for the first time. As far as she was concerned, nothing could stand against all of that. Nothing could steal the smile from her lips.
A/N: So another update for this fic! Again, this week's been rough on me with my cousin not here, and I've needed this fic to lift me up these past days. I can only hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Thanks for reading!
References:
Anya's singing "Just a Kiss" by Lady Antebellum there at the end. Coincidentally fits some of Clarke and Anya's dynamic so far, even though I just recently stumbled on it. A happy coincidence, really. I liked the idea of them sleepily singing to each other bookending the chapter. Trans women's voices don't get much love at all, so associating them with some good feels and peacefulness seemed appropriate