禁断のスクロールの物語
Forbidden Scroll of Stories

Disclaimer: I do not own anything official such as characters, locations, powers, ect. from the NARUTO series. I just make all these various entries that depict Naruto in various different settings. On an added note, some of these one-shots are under crossover scenes, therefore in those crossovers; I do not take any ownership of characters, themes, and whatnot for when I do a crossover scenario. That includes fictional cameos, celebrity cameos, and real-world cameos. Remember that.

Author's Note: I take requests, so, got something you would like to see me write as a one-shot, either serious or just something for fun, PM me or leave it in your next review. The numbers listed here are in roman numerals. Search it up on Wikipedia or on Google if you desire more information. Despite the name changes, this overall collection-type fanfic has various different starts, endings, scenarios, decisions, worlds, and people. Each one is vastly different. Who knows what can happen, or what you may read or discover yourself.

All I can say is... enjoy what you read. Enjoy the randomness, the craziness, the seriousness, the love, the heart-break, the sorrow, and the joy. And please leave behind a review if you find a chapter that you truly enjoyed, and possibly believe has merit to be launched into a story of itself. I enjoy learning what a reader thinks of what he or she has read. Harsh abusive reviews will see you on my Block List (as well as reported).

Sweet Kagamine Kiss
presents...

The Funny Kunai 3
(Funnies, Insanity, and Parodies)

Kiss

Do you remember the accidental gay kiss between Naruto and Sasuke? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Maybe that's why the First Hokage is gay for Madara? Because a similar scenario had also happened between them when they were kids...

The Bet

"Oh c'mon!"

Two boys and one adult grumble...

"You lost the bet! Now do it!" Sakura shouted. One would find it disturbing to see that evil smile crossing the so-called innocent girl's lips.

"This is... there is no way these can be called clothes!"

Even Sasuke had to agree with the dobe, as he held up the... swimming trunks, if they could be called that.

"I am not wearing a thong!" Naruto yelled.

"DO IT OR DIE!"

And just where the heck did she pulled that giant hammer from? Faced with imminent death, the three shinobi strip down, and were left with placing on the "clothes" the lone kunoichi of Team 7 provided.

"There, was that so hard?" She asked with a giggle as the three males hugged each other the way Gai and Lee do during their youth rants, minus the sunset Genjutsu.

Even Kakashi was blushing, as his was digging into his crack. Then they blinked when Sakura snapped a photo, and cackling quite evilly, ran off with the evidence. Sasuke was the first to react, as his brain processed that should the photos get loose... they'll never be left alone!

"SAKURA GET BACK HERE!"

Naruto ran after Sasuke to chase down the cackling mad kunoichi who had evidence with her. To Naruto, sure Hinata practically stalked him, but he knew that hidden behind her shy exterior was a perverse BDSM kunoichi. Kakashi sighed. He was hounded by fangirls when he was sixteen, it's not like this would do any worse...

Then he remembered where he was, and said one word.

"Shit."

He was surrounded by a lot of women. Some were armed with fishing poles...

End of the World

The world was ending. Forget wars. Forget bloodshed. Forget the fact that everybody barely survived the destruction of a mad-driven Uchiha Obito and the Ten-Tailed Demon. The world was coming to an end anyway. Apparently Naruto lost his virginity to Hinata, and triggered the planet's slow destruction to Armageddon. Who'd have believed Naruto scoring with the hottest chick in Konoha would equal the world's self-destruct?

... That sucks...

Mouth-Rape

Yeah... so one morning Hinata had woken up, and found herself with the memories and attitude of another version of herself. This Hinata was more assertive, dominant, and takes no shit from anybody. So, what does this new and fused version of Hinata do? Well, because a guy who would be Naruto's evil clone was such a asshole to her and got himself killed for plotting the world's destruction, the memories of the other Hinata now fused to the no-longer timid Hinata did one thing that sounded right:

In front of the entire class, Hinata basically mouth-raped a totally shocked/surprised Naruto.

"He's mine! And no one's going to say anything bad about him or so help Kami you'll regret it!" She would say after mouth-raping Naruto with her tongue.

Sakura heeded no attention, and one of her usual bashing of Naruto ended up with the pinkette in the hospital with a pineapple up her rear end. After that, no one at school bad-mouthed Naruto ever again. It took Konoha less than two months before everybody no longer bad-mouthed the young boy. It took Hiashi an extra week before he really learned his lesson regarding his "attitude" towards his eldest daughter.

Nudist

Naruto and Jiraiya blinked.

"Hey guys, you finally returned," said Kotetsu.

Aside the fact he had for a strange reason a hedge bush in front of him, he was... naked. His partner was also in the same scenario. Convenient censoring by nature...

"Uh... did you lose a bet or something?"

"No," said Izumo.

"Uh... let us inside the village then. I have a report to tell Tsunade," Jiraiya tells the two Chūnin.

With a signal, hidden ANBU inside the main gates open said gates.

As they walk inside, the two men take note of their surroundings. Convenient censoring everywhere by various objects, and nakedness as far as the eye can see...

"Jiraiya-sensei, what the hell is going on?"

"I'm creeped out, while at the same time itching to start writing..."

Konohagakure no Sato has somehow become a nudist village. They would not figure it out until much later, however...

Naruto and Anko 2

Anko snorts as she woke up with the door slam alerting her. Naruto had gotten back into the car, looking straight ahead.

"What the hell, man?" She looks at her watch, "It took you three hours just to break up with her?"

"Uh... I didn't exactly break up with her," Naruto told Anko.

She sniffed the air, now noticing the scent. "What's that smell? It smells like sweat, anguish and regret?"

"Yeah..."

"Huh..."

Naruto started his car and pulls away from the curb.

"Hey, can I listen to my mix tape, Naruto?"

"Sure," he responds.

Anko inserts the tape into the player, and dance-like music begins to play. She smirks as she started to sing to her own lyrics to the song.

"Naru had sex! With a really dumb girl! And he's taking his friend Anko to get some dango in his car-"

Naruto kills the music.

"Ohh, you're a poor sport."