Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers.

Christmas Manger Hijinks

Around the time of the holidays, the church administration would have the traditional manger scene right in front of the local chapel for at least one night. Why it was for one night was because the children of their patrons would dress up as the characters and pose, while people passing by would take pictures. It was a fun time for the kids with them playing dress up and modeling. This year's manger event had been no different. But it had been hectic for Filia, the church's volunteer supervisor for the event.

"Okay! Does anyone want to volunteer to be a king now?" Filia called amongst the horde of young children in the area. As supervisor, her job was to watch the kids and make sure they each taken a part in the manger scene. It was rough work but she was determined to make this one of the best events the church has ever had. Her job would have been easier of course if more kids volunteer instead of her going through a checklist and seeing if they were around. She was even forced to bribery by offering cookies to those who participate. A dirty tactic but effective nonetheless.

The young woman felt a tug at her dress and looked down to see a black-haired girl staring at her with her mouth in an upside-down v. "I want to be a king. Make me a king."

Filia gave a small smile as she said, "Of course, Miss Cyclonis. But… You don't have to be so demanding." Cyclonis let go of the dress and headed towards the costume section to get her king clothes. Filia sighed, wondering if the girl's choice of role was because of breaking boundaries or taking a step towards ruling the world. Well, it didn't matter. She needed to get back on track.

It was a short while before Piper entered in with her Mary outfit… Or was it Perry. Probably Perry because she was holding a bunny-like doll protectively. "Miss Perry, I can see that you're about done. But do you really need to bring the doll in here?"

Perry nodded. "I had to. The animals were going eat him."

Filia groaned before shouting at the top of her lungs, "XELLOSS!" Just then, the residential mischief-maker of the church Xelloss strolled right on in with his usual creepy smile.

"You rang, Miss Filia?" he greeted in his carefree tone. Despite this, she was still angry, not to the point of punching him but still angry.

"Why did you get a bunch of farm animals to use for our manger when we have perfectly good stand-ins?"

"Oh, just for authenticity's sake." Xelloss answered, "It wouldn't exactly be a manger without smelly barn animals to be in it."

Filia groaned again before replying, "Well! Make sure that they're fed! Miss Peregrine is worried that her doll might get eaten!" To prove a point, Perry held up her doll so Xelloss could see.

The man just raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Well, she wouldn't worry if you had the original baby Jesus to use." Filia sighed, remembering that she had lost the plastic baby Jesus doll some time ago (probably stolen by unruly teenagers). Perry had happily offered her doll for the part which was fine, except her dolly wasn't anything close to resembling a human baby. The woman worried that might upset admirers of manger reenactments.

Ignoring that problem, Filia went back to looking at her clipboard and calling, "Alright! Who wants to be Mary then!"

"Me! Me!" shouted a slightly older red-haired girl named Lina as she rushed over, "I wanna be Mary! Mary gets more cookies, right?"

Filia sweatdropped a little bit. "W-well, everyone gets an equal amount for volunteering. So, it really doesn't matter if you're an angel or a shepherd. Wouldn't you like to wait and be one of those instead?"

"… I still want those cookies now," Lina pouted. Seeing that there was no other choice, Filia gave in and let her be Mary. In declaration of this, Perry gave Lina a strict look.

"Protect him with your life," she told her in a low tone, although ignored as the older girl just lightheartedly nodded. The two then headed to costumes to change. Shortly after, Lina headed outside while carrying the doll while Perry quickly headed to where the cookies were.

Filia sighed and went back to monitoring with Xelloss looking over her shoulder. "You know, Miss Filia, Lina doesn't seem to fit the traditional version of Mary. Don't cha think?" The woman hissed at him before returning to her work. She needed to focus on more important things than his ill-mannered commentary. She soon noticed Stork coming in, still in his Joseph attire and disappearing into the costumes.

"Well, Stork! How nice to see you," she welcomed happily, "But… Your time isn't even up yet."

Stork poked his head out from the section and replied drearily, "Oh, it is." He then retreated back, muttering something about having a death wish from Mary or something like that. Filia sweatdropped again before looking down at her sheet and then noticing a blonde boy off in the corner.

"Oh! Mister Domiwick!" She dashed towards the boy as he was reading a book on ancient civilizations. "How would you like to be Joseph now?"

"No," Domiwick replied as Filia facefaulted.

"But! But why?!"

"I'll tell you why: Lina." He looked up from his book at her. "I don't like her and she doesn't like me. And she'll beat me up."

Hearing that, Filia got up and polished herself before saying, "B-but Lina would never beat people up as long as you don't anger her. I'm sure you two would get along just fine for the manger tonight,."

"I highly doubt it," Xelloss spoke up before Filia shushed him.

Domiwick rolled his eyes and looked back at his book. "Can you at least get Gourry to do it? At least she won't beat up the jellyfish brain badly."

Gourry, who was close by with an arm full of cookies. "Does that mean I get more cookies?"

Filia chuckled half-heartedly while sweatdropping. "Well, you will. But first, everyone should at least take a turn during the manger and Domiwick hasn't done it yet. I think we should give him the chance of being Joseph and have a wonderful time doing it, right?"

Domiwick looked back up at her to see her eyes pleading. Now, she knew he was a smart kid and wouldn't fall for her guilt tripping him like this. However, he closed his book hastily with a huff. "Fine, I'll be Joseph." He then trudged towards the costumes while shouting, "But if she bites me, I'll sue!"

Filia sighed, happy that she got someone in a short time. Gourry, on the other hand, really wanted more cookies. And Xelloss just muttered, "I give at least five minutes."

It was shortly after Domiwick got dressed and headed out that an angel and a shepherd came in. Seeing them, Filia took the moment to check on her list before looking for someone who hadn't done it yet. Luckily, she saw Snipe in the distance before rushing over to him. "Snipe! Snipe! Who would you like to be for the manger?!"

"Santa Claus!" Snipe exclaimed happily.

"… What?" Filia asked with such confusion.

"You know, Santa?" He smiled brightly. "The guy in the red suit that makes toys and keeps them for himself."

It was then that Xelloss popped into the conversation and corrected, "Actually, Snipe, Santa gives the toys away. Not keep them for himself."

"Oh…" Snipe looked down. "Why would he do that? If Snipe were Santa, he would keep the toys and smash anyone who tries to steal them."

Filia chuckled, wanting to explain that Santa Claus was the representation of giving and charity for this time of year. But Xelloss spoke before she could get a word in, "Don't worry. There's always Krampus."

"… Who's Krampus?"

"Why Krampus is the demonic spirit of Christmas who kidnaps naughty children and beats them with a stick."

His answer made the big kid beam brightly again. "Sweet! Can I be him instead?!"

"NO!" Filia quickly exclaimed, not wanting to imagining Snipe chasing around kids and beating them up, "There is no Krampus at the manger! Now, you can either be a shepherd or an angel. But you can't be Krampus!"

Hearing his options for who to be, Snipe thought about it for a while before deciding to be a shepherd because he thought angels were sissy. As he walked towards costumes, Xelloss murmured, "Such a pity. He would have made an excellent Krampus."

Filia, realizing that the imp was near her, glared at him and yapped, "Shouldn't you be supervising the manger outside?" Xelloss shrugged before taking his leave to make sure that kids were behaving… Hopefully.

She turned her attention to the door when another angel walked inside. With haste, she searched for some kids to play the part when she found Amelia and Aerrow. "Aw! You two! How would you like to be angels?"

"We get wings, right?" asked Aerrow with interest.

"Yes."

"And we can fly, right?" he asked again with a gleam in his eye.

Filia chuckled hesitantly at his eagerness to become airborne. "Well, no…"

"We don't need wings to fly!" Amelia exclaimed with her arms high, "As long as we have Justice in our hearts, we can soar right to the clouds just like real angels!"

"… Does that mean you want to be angels or not?" Filia inquired as a sweatdrop formed. The two children quickly nodded their heads and headed towards the costumes. The manager of this project then went back to her duties of making sure that everything was running along smoothly. It wasn't before long that a young shepherd boy came in, looking sort of worried.

"Missus Filia ma'am."

"Ah, Hamish!" Filia greeted, "I see you're done for now." She then looked back at her list. "Now, let's see, Finn and Junko had already been in it a short while ago…"

"Missus Filia ma'am."

"Zangulus and Martina haven't done a part, but Martina has strictly said that they would like to be Mary and Joseph…"

"Missus Filia ma'am."

"And I don't see Ace or Zelgadis or anyone else who haven't done it yet. They must be hiding somewhere…"

"MISSUS FILIA MA'AM!" Hamish shouted at the top of his lungs almost causing her to have a heart attack. Seeing that she had dropped her stuff, she gathered them back up and turned to the boy.

"Yes, Hamish, what is it?" She returned to being calm and composed for the most part. After all, Hamish was still a child and children haven't gotten to control their voices yet.

Hamish stared up at her, looking inquisitive. "Does Missus Mary beat Mister Joseph?"

"No. Even though Mary and Joseph may have had issues to deal with like any family, she does not beat up Joseph." Filia smiled happily before something crossed her mind. "Just out of curiosity, why do you ask?"

There was a short silence until Hamish decided to blurt it out, "Missus Mary is beating up Mister Joseph."

It didn't take long for her to get the jest of it and she ran outside with Hamish following after her. To her shock and horror, Filia could see what he had meant. Mary A.K.A. Lina Inverse was chasing down after Joseph A.K.A. I.J. Domiwick who had gotten a bad black eye. Everyone, including the animals, was keeping their distance as she tried to finish the job using the doll.

"DOMIWICK! YA JERK! GET BACK HERE!"

"See? Missus Mary is beating up Mister Joseph." Hamish said while being proud. Of course, that didn't help with Filia at all as she noticed parents and other patrons taking pictures of this disaster. She was beyond hysterical and didn't quite know how to take it. She then noticed Xelloss standing off in the distance, and her panic slowly turn to fury.

"Xelloss," she snarled as she trended heavily towards him, "You. Explain."

Xelloss casually glanced over, unruffled by her demands. "Well, Miss Filia, I just coming out and saw both Domiwick and Lina exchanging some clever insults. Apparently the two were not too thrilled to see each other. It was a short time afterwards that Domiwick say that Lina should be sent to a mental institution to which Lina punched him and started using the doll as an assault weapon."

"And you didn't stop them because…" Filia really wanted to know why Xelloss, the person whose job was to supervise the kids in the manger, was instead watching the chase scene.

"Miss Filia, I may be many things but a on-television therapist, I am not."

The poor woman almost facefaulted from hearing his answer. Just because he wasn't a professional talk show host didn't mean he could let this happen. Well if he wasn't going to do it, she might as well being the only sensible adult around here. Puffing her chest up, Filia started to march towards the manger in strict fashion. "Alright, you two. You better stop it or I'll-!"

BONK!

Filia was then met by the doll right square in the face. Although the doll was soft and cuddly, the force from Lina's throw was enough to get her to fall down on her back. Lina, despite not having the doll, still continued to chase Domiwick, threatening to make him wish he was never born. Throughout all this, one thought had come to the woman's mind.

'Next year, Lina should not be paired with Domiwick.'

Author's Notes:

Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! I made a Christmas fic!

Indeed, I've been playing around with making a Christmas fic for this drabble series (Particularly one where Zelgadis' home gets invaded). But after reading TheGuineaPig3's own Christmas story parody and remembering a past incident during my childhood, I decided to write out this. And I definitely enjoy it!

I think my most favorite part of this is when Snipe is being asked for what role he wants because to me, it pretty much feels in character with everyone and the delivery was so hilarious. While there are others that are probably equally funny, this one is the one I like writing most.

Also, the doll that's supposed to be Jesus is indeed Pokota.

And I forgot to mention this, but I like to thank Cold-heart-angel23 for reviewing Chapter 20. Yea, well, trying to get back into writing some of novel-plot fics. But until then, have some fun with these Crossover drabbles then!

Anyways, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Please Read and Review!