"Crawling, Crawling,

Out Tonight and See,

Everyone Up Scrambling to the Beat,

Easy, Easy

Envy All You Need,

Dancing on Without a Clue,

She's Been A Very Blind Girl."

-Hitorinbo Envy, Jubyphonic

I pressed my thumb against the dirt, drawing a replica of Chibi between my legs while Konan sat behind me, twisting my hair into a braid.

"Ah, your hair is so long, Oka. I wish mine was this long," Konan said.

I poked dots where his eyes were supposed to be and drew triangles for ears. "I miss Chibi," I said, a quiet, painful ache in my chest. I pressed a hand over my heart, but it was hurting inside, where I couldn't reach.

Konan faltered, and my hair fell around my shoulders like a curtain. "I do too," she said. "But that's why we're helping Yahiko become a god of peace, remember? To make a world where there are no more Chibi's, like he said."

I nodded, but the ache didn't go away.

Konan twirled a strand of my hair around her finger. "I'm sorry, Oka," she murmured.

"Why?" I looked back, searching for the reason for her apology.

Konan gave me a small, sad smile. "I was in charge of watching you," she explained, lifting her hair-twined finger. "Before the salamander. Back at that field. I saw that guy grab you, but I froze. He could've hurt you." She shook the hair away and re-started the braid. "I never said sorry."

She turned my head, and I drew a smile in the dirt with my nail. Chibi would've like it, I think.

"It reminded me of something bad that happened to my mom and dad," Konan went on, shuddering. "They left to fight, when I was little."

I heard her sniff.

It had been a long time since I thought of Mama and Papa. The ache worsened into a sharp, pulsing pain. They were like Chibi, or the people that were swallowed by the salamander. Not maybe-dead, but dead dead. Why else would they have left us all alone? Why else would thinking about them hurt so much?

"Little-er," Konan corrected with a shaky smile. "They said not to look for them if they didn't come back, but I did. I found them in a place like that, and I ran away."

I scrubbed away the image of Chibi. I didn't remember much of Mama. Her hair was red, like Naga's, but brighter, curlier. Her voice always made me feel warm. Papa had big hands. One could fit over my whole head.

"I'll say sorry to Naga too, when he wakes up," Konan said.

I felt something slide down my cheek and brushed my hand against it, staring when I saw that my fingers were wet. I wasn't sad. Was I?

Tsunade was bent over Naga, Jiraya crouched beside her. I could hear them whispering to each other.

I looked at my fingers again. This was war, I realized.

It wasn't the salamander ripping the ground apart. It wasn't a field of the dead. It was the way Konan's hands shook, the desperation that drove Naga to steal, the deep hurt of being left behind.

"I'll tell him for you," I said, drawing a kunai in the dirt.

I would learn to fight, too. I would help Yahiko become a god.

男の子

I smoothed a bandage over Naga's cheek, mimicking the way Tsunade had put one over his shoulder. She said it had medicine on it that would help him heal faster.

Yahiko sat beside me, tossing a grapefruit up and down. It was orange-brown, caved in and wrinkly. He was leaning back, staring at the roof. It made a wet slap each time he caught it.

"I want to steal," I told him. "I'm big enough now."

Yahiko hummed. "I don't know," he said. "You're still pretty little."

"I'll be a good em-ploy-ee," I insisted, sounding out the word as best I could. "I'll steal lots of meat."

Yahiko laughed, sitting up. He held the grapefruit in his lap, peeling the skin off with a finger. "Why do you want to steal all of a sudden?"

"So you can become a god faster," I said, facing him.

Yahiko pulled out a mushy, only slightly brown piece and held it out.

I nibbled on it as he spoke, "We can't steal the way we used to. A lot of stored fruit was destroyed during the attack." He scratched out another piece and popped it in his mouth. "No one is selling food anymore, and there won't be any coming in for a while. It's too dangerous."

"No food?" I asked, wide-eyed.

"Nope. But you don't have to worry. I'll think of something," he said, holding out another piece. He grinned. "What kind of boss would I be if I let my employees starve?"

It was slippery and sticky in my grip. "I hate war," I declared.

Yahiko nodded, "I'll start here, with the rain. I'll make it stop."

"Will the sun come out?" I asked. I remembered the book with the drawing of the sun. It was supposed to be in places where it didn't rain.

"Yep. All the clouds will go away too. It'll be like a brand-new place, where nobody has to die because of war."

I tried to imagine it. It would be warm all the time, and there would be lots of food for everyone.

"We'll have to rename it," Yahiko said, stroking his chin. "We won't be able to call it 'Ame' anymore."

"I missed it," Naga croaked, weak and raspy.

"It's about time," Yahiko said, giving him a grin, "You can't keep sleeping all the time, Nagato. We've got work to do."

"I tried," Naga murmured. "I tried so hard to stay awake."

"Naga?" I leaned closer. "You okay?"

Naga winced as he turned his head, lifting a hand to touch the bandage on his face.

"No, don't!" Yahiko grabbed his wrist. "Don't touch it. It's still healing."

Naga focused on him, seeing him for the first time. He looked past him, at me. "I wanted to get something," he said. "For your birthday. But I missed it."

I didn't know what he meant. I smiled anyway. "Don't be sad, Naga. It's o-kay."

"I won't know when it is now. It was tomorrow, but it's not the same day. It'll be so long from now," he trembled.

"Tomorrow?" Yahiko repeated. "You mean the day after the attack?"

"Yeah," Naga sniffed. "It feels like a long time ago, now."

Yahiko nodded. "I'll ask around," he said. "Find out what day it was."

Naga's eyes widened.

"Come on, don't look at me like that," Yahiko said, sheepish. He looked away. "It's no big deal. What kind of big brother would I be if I didn't know my little sister's birthday?"

"Right," Naga said, wiping his eyes with his good hand.

I tilted my head back when I heard footsteps and saw Tsunade standing in front of the barrier, hands on her hips. "Listen up brats," she said, eyeing us, then Konan, who was surrounded by paper flowers.

"Jiraya and I agreed to train you, starting first thing tomorrow," she announced.

"You get your wish, kid. I hope you're happy," Jiraya drawled.

Yahiko threw his hands up and cheered.

"And who knows? Maybe you will end the war one day. It would make a good book," he mused.

"We were waiting for you to wake up before making a decision," Tsunade said to Naga. "Because I'm going to teach you medical ninjutsu. You need to learn to take care of those scars. The skin is still sensitive and prone to infection. It could take months before you have full mobility again and they'll never go away completely, but you don't have to be held back by them, either."

"Jiraya will train the rest of you," Tsunade said with a dismissive wave. "Let's go."

"All our stuff…" Naga trailed off.

"What? You mean the rotten food? Leave it."

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"A safehouse," she said curtly. "You can stay there until we say otherwise."

"What about Nagato? He can't move," Konan said.

"I've got him," Yahiko said, bending to grab Naga's arm.

Naga squeezed his eyes shut, shuddering as he was forced to sit up.

I touched his good arm. He was warm, not feverish.

"I'm okay," Naga said again.

"No," Tsunade said. "He's not ready to move like that. Jiraya will carry him."

"Jiraya will what?" He shivered when he made eye contact with Tsunade, shaking his head. "Alright, alright. I, the great toad sage, the gallant, strongest of the three newly minted sanin-"

"Enough show-boating," Tsunade growled.

"Eh? But you know you love it," he winked as he took Naga from Yahiko.

I frowned as Naga cried out.

"I'll be careful," he said to Tsunade, then hopped over the barrier.

Yahiko offered me his hand, "Or do you want to be carried instead?"

"I'm too big to be carried," I decided.

"You're in a rebellious phase, hm? Konan was in one a little while ago," he said, thoughtful as he rubbed his chin. "She wouldn't eat green fruit. At all."

"That wasn't a phase," Konan retorted, turning red.

"Then what was it?" Yahiko asked, eyebrow raised.

Konan became redder. She picked up a paper flower and threw it at him.

I watched it flutter to the ground a foot in front of her.

"What about the time you would only sleep out in the rain?" she asked.

"Ah, ah. It's rude to talk about other people, Konan," Yahiko said sagely.

Konan spluttered. She shoved him as she went past, refusing to look at him.

"Is she mad?" I asked, taking his hand.

"No. She's in another phase, probably."

"Yahiko!"

誰

I woke up to familiar voices, coming from somewhere behind me.

"You have to teach us to fish," Yahiko insisted.

I rubbed my eyes and sat up. Naga was on the floor next to me, a folded rag over his forehead. It was cold to the touch. His cheek was hot. He had a fever again.

"Let's stick with one thing at a time," Jiraya said. "How am I supposed to have any time to see if this place has any decent bathhouses if I'm spending every second of the day teaching the four of you?"

I heard a loud thump and glanced over as Jiraya unwrapped the biggest fish I'd ever seen. Faint trails of smoke drifted off it. My mouth watered. It was cooked meat.

"Where's Tsunade?" Konan asked. She was sitting in front of the small table, eyes on the fish as Jiraya stepped away.

I inched closer. My stomach growled, and I squeezed the front of my shirt. The smell filled my head and I felt dizzy with hunger.

"She went off in search of a bar," he explained. "Fixing your friend took a lot out of her, but you shouldn't worry. You're in the hands of Jiraya the Sanin." He hooked a thumb at himself with a grin.

"Heya, Oka," Yahiko waved from the counter he sat on.

"Sanin?" Konan asked.

I pointed at the fish, uncertain and asking for permission.

"Yes, you can have it," Jiraya answered for him. "I caught it for the four of you, after all."

He gave Konan a wry smile. "It was a fancy way for the leader here to congratulate us on the honor of not dying."

I brightened, running to the table. I dropped to my knees and grabbed a handful of meat with my bare hands, shoving it all in my mouth.

Konan covered her mouth to hide her giggle, leaning out of the way of the shrapnel.

"Watch out for bones," Jiraya said weakly.

I ripped off another handful, swallowing as I picked up bits I'd dropped on the floor.

"Does she always eat like that?" Jiraya asked, somewhere between awed and disturbed.

Konan peeled off a piece as Yahiko hopped off the counter. "She's hungry," he said with a shrug. "We all are. There isn't a right way to eat when you live like we do."

"It's really good," Konan said as Yahiko sat on the other side of the table.

He tore off a strip but didn't eat it. His gaze was distant.

"Yahiko?" she asked.

"I started thinking of all the street kids who won't get to eat because all the food is gone," he murmured, then laughed a little when Konan frowned. He scratched his cheek. "The things we have to change. It's a long list. I think about it all the time."

"I get it," she said. "But you can't become strong enough to do that if you don't eat."

"You're right," Yahiko nodded, chewing on his strip. "When did you start sounding so grown-up?"

"I've always been grown-up," she protested.

Yahiko made a noise of disagreement. "Grown-ups don't eat fruit by color," he pointed out.

"I thought that it was rude to talk about other people, Yahiko."

"That rule doesn't exist anymore."

"Huh? Why not?"

"I made it up, so I un-made it."

I watched them, grease on my hands and bits of fish stuck under my nails.

"That's not how rules work," Konan deadpanned.

"It is if you're the one making the rules."

"You won't care if I tell Oka about the time you lost all of our food in a bet with—"

"Let's agree to disagree," Yahiko interrupted her. He stood, wiping his hands on his pants. "Had enough, Oka?"

I answered him by grabbing another handful and retreating to a corner.

"We should save the rest for Nagato."

Konan paused. She tore her gaze away from the fish and got up. "Okay."

Yahiko glanced at me again. "No more, okay?"

I bared my teeth at him, eyes narrowed.

Yahiko looked away. He reconsidered his request as Konan giggled. "You can finish that half," he amended. "But leave that side for Nagato."

I thought it over, looking at the squished ball of meat in my palm. I padded back to the table.

Yahiko tapped his chin. "Is that a yes?" he asked.

Konan laughed and walked away from him.

"Konan? Help me out here!"

意志

I used Naga's right leg as a pillow, watching him practice the exercises Tsunade taught him to help get his mobility back to the way it used to be. I felt him shudder as he clenched and unclenched his scarred hand, breathing hard.

I touched his other arm, but he didn't have a fever anymore.

"I'll work on getting stronger," he murmured. "So you don't have to worry about me like this anymore."

"I don't like it when you have fevers," I said.

"Me neither." He cringed when he tried to stretch his hand out, shuddering again.

I yawned. Konan and Yahiko sat out in the rain, eyes closed, hands folded in their laps.

"You shouldn't try to push yourself as hard as them, Oka," Naga said, massaging his wrist. "I don't like it when you tire yourself out. You're still little."

"Am not," I said. I wanted to keep trying to feel my chakra, but I couldn't stay awake, no matter how hard I tried.

Naga patted my head. "Don't try to grow up too fast. Being little is better than being a grown-up."

"It's not," I grumbled.

"I felt it!" Yahiko jumped up. His eyes were bright. "What's next?"

Tsunade flicked his forehead and he tumbled over. "Not so fast, brat," she said. "You can't learn to run before you know how to crawl. Feeling it won't cut it. You have to learn to manipulate it to go where you want it to, then mold it into an elemental nature."

"That would make a good quote for my book," Jiraya murmured. He sat back on the porch, hands linked behind his head.

Yahiko sat up. "Yeah, but I'm still one step closer, right?"

Tsunade stared at him.

Jiraya shook his head and said, "You've got charisma, kid. I'll give you that."

される 神

"Now that you've got the basics down, we'll start on water-walking," Tsunade said, hands on her hips. "I expect it to be mastered by the end of the week. Any objections?"

Jiraya coughed. "They just learned what chakra is, Tsuna. Give them a break."

I sat at the edge of a pond, drawing circles in the water with the tip of my finger. "I know it now," I said softly, pulling back just long enough for my reflection to appear. "What it means. War," I told her.

"We don't have time to wait around until they're ready," Tsunade said through her teeth. "The war is still going on, in case you forgot. I agreed to train the brats, but I'm not spending the rest of my life in this hellhole. There are people waiting for me back home."

Jiraya shook his head. "And what about that one?" he asked, hooking a thumb at Naga.

Naga sat cross-legged off to the side, eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to feel his chakra. The left side of his body was covered in special bandages to protect his still-sensitive skin from the rain.

"You think he can master medical-ninjutsu in two months?"

Tsunade looked at him, her lips thinning. She turned and strode out onto the surface of the lake without a word, the soles of her feet coated in a bright blue hue.

The other me rippled violently and disappeared. It was chakra, I knew, but not the same chakra as before. The chakra she used to heal Naga—medical ninjutsu—was green.

Konan gasped.

"A week, huh?" Yahiko mused, crouched beside me. "That's too long. I'm going to master it today."

Jiraya laughed. "There's ambition, and then there's this kid."

"He will," I said, pushing myself up.

Yahiko smiled. "You don't have to believe me," he said to Jiraya. "I'll just prove you wrong."

Jiraya turned his gaze to the sky. He opened his mouth, closed it. "You remind me of an old student of mine," was all he said.

"Listen up, because I'm only going to explain this once," Tsunade spoke before Yahiko could. "Channel a stream of chakra to the bottom of your feet. Too much and not only are you wasting chakra, but the surface will boil. Too little and the water won't hold you. Aim for the latter. If you push too much chakra to your feet at once, you could burn yourself with it."

Yahiko shut his eyes, clasping his hands together.

"The stream of chakra has to be constantly flowing around your feet. If the water becomes calmer or turbulent, you have to be able to change the amount of chakra you're producing at any moment to match it or you'll fall in. Understand?"

Konan frowned at the pond. "I think so," she said.

Tsunade nodded once, walked back onto land, and went over to Naga.

Yahiko dropped his hands. A faint glow leaked out from under his feet. He took a step forward and fell straight down.

Konan giggled as he came up spluttering, then shrieked as he spit water at her.

I stared at my hands. Stream of chakra. Too much. Too little. I didn't understand all of what she said, but I knew I needed to tell my chakra to go to my feet. I frowned. "Go," I sternly ordered it.

"Not like that," Yahiko said as he dragged himself out of the pond.

I blinked at him.

He wrung water out of his shirt. "What did your chakra feel like yesterday?"

Konan took a step forward. She yelped as the water bubbled and steamed beneath her. With an encouraging push from Yahiko, she tipped over, shouting as she smacked the surface.

I looked at my hands again. Honey, was my first thought. It felt thick and heavy and sticky. I tilted my head, "Yahiko, what does honey taste like?"

It was his turn to blink. "I dunno," he said. "I've never had it. But when we stop the rain, we could have all kinds of stuff brought here. It won't be just old fruit and half-expired meat. We could all have honey, then."

I stared up, and droplets pattered against my forehead and cheeks. "When the rain stops," I quietly agreed.

"What was that for?" Konan asked as she surfaced.

"You were doing it wrong," Yahiko said. "You would've burned up the whole pond and left none for the rest of us."

"I wouldn't have," she huffed.

"Yeah, because I stopped you."

Konan tossed a handful of water at him.

Yahiko didn't move as it smacked his back. "Anyway," he said, waving off Konan. "You didn't answer my question, Oka."

It didn't feel right to say it felt like honey. What did honey feel like? I knew it was sticky, but I couldn't imagine the sensation. "It's heavy," I tried to explain. "Hard."

Yahiko nodded. "That's what you should be trying to move. That chakra. Not the chakra in your hands or anywhere else."

"I can't," I said. "It won't go."

"That's why you have to keep practicing," Yahiko said as Konan fell in again. "It'll be easy before you know it."

He shot me a quick grin before he returned to the pond. His right leg stuck to the surface. His left leg did not. He tipped to the side with a yell and a splash.

I sat and nudged the pool of honey in my stomach, urging it to my feet. It resisted my poking, staying in place. Yahiko and Konan already made their chakra move. Why was it so hard for me?

"What's wrong, Oka?"

Konan knelt in front of me.

"Tell me how to do it," I said, frustrated as I poked her stomach.

"Hmm," she considered, poking me back.

I fought off a smile as I pushed her hand away. I was still ticklish.

"You can't give up so easily," she admonished. "No matter how long it takes, you have to keep at it, okay?"

"I can't take too long," I said. "I want to help Yahiko become a god of peace. I can't help if you leave me behind."

"Oh, Oka," Konan said sadly. "We're not leaving you behind. You're not leaving Nagato behind, are you?"

I frowned. "Not the same."

Konan tugged on the end of my braid and I launched forward. She yelped and fell back as I pretended to bite her arm.

"Yahiko, help," she called. "She's gone feral!"

Yahiko nodded. "That's her arm now."

"You won't help me?" Konan spluttered.

"I like having my arms," he said.

I let go. "Don't touch," I warned her seriously, pointing to my hair.

Konan held her hands up. "Okay, okay. The hair is off limits. Still," she glanced at Naga. "It is the same. But he doesn't feel like you're leaving him behind, right?"

"I'm not," I grumbled.

Konan reached out to pat my head, stopped at my growl, and squeezed my shoulder instead. "No one is leaving anyone behind. In fact, you're already ahead of all of us."

I frowned.

"You're little, Oka," Konan said with a soft smile. "By the time you're our age, you'll know way more than we do right now."

"Maybe," I said, relaxing a little.

"You will," Konan said. "Just keep practicing, okay? Like Yahiko said."

I nodded, folding my hands back in my lap.

Konan patted me again and stood.

By mid-afternoon, I'd exhausted myself. I didn't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up again in Naga's lap, it was dark.

"It was a great effort, kid, but we can pick it up again tomorrow," Jiraya said.

I lifted my head.

Konan was splayed out on the grass, breathing hard.

"Not yet," Yahiko panted.

"Some of us need our beauty sleep," Jiraya complained.

I heard a splash.

"The first lesson you should learn is knowing when to rest," he lectured, shaking his head. "You can't brute-force your way past your limits. You'll only do more harm to your body than good this way."

"I don't believe you," Yahiko grunted. His hands were flat against the water. Bubbles formed beneath his right hand, but he still curled his fingers, fighting to find a handhold as he dragged himself out of the water. Trembling, he pressed his right foot against the surface.

He pushed himself to his feet, wobbling and shaking. He took a small step forward. His arms pinwheeled, but he didn't fall. He lifted his head and locked eyes with Jiraya.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm going to be a god one day. Don't underestimate me!"

And Jiraya stared, rendered speechless by the boy who would be god.

A/N: ランブル - Rumble, 男の子 - The Boy, 誰 - Who, 意志 - Would, される 神 - Be God