Ship Counselor Shenanigans

by ErnestTBass

Boats with feelings, what do?

6. Get a Roon

:::The following document is TOP SECRET and viewable only by access level BLUE 5:::

Should you not possess the proper credentials and find this document in your hands, immediately close, secure, and then inform your commanding officer of the error. Failure to do so will result in an immediate court martial, and possible transfer into Akashi's laboratory complex as D-class personnel.

Hello,

This letter is attached so I can touch base with you about that thumb drive that was sent your way from us recently via courier on a fighter plane. The encryption key is: 5334118. Take care of the pilot by the way, she's my cousin. Now, we're both officers, not scientists, so I'm sure you're very confused at all the secrecy, the security, and the eight gigabytes of heavily-encrypted(and unorganized) data you've had to sift through. The eggheads at R&D really know their stuff, but they just can't put a tl;dr somewhere.

That's why I'm here to follow up, because almost all of the people who even have a clue what the hell that report is talking about, really can't summarize it. As you know, most of our lineup of "shipgirls" consists of already-existing ships, with various ways of digging them out of the past. I won't get into that here. Our only current method of developing new ships is via the Research program and barely understood "soul forming", as the scientists call it. We here believe it's been a quite successful, but ultimately slow process. It's a tried and true method, and we're going to stick with it, but it's nature only allows us to work on one ship at a time. From even a layman's perspective on naval strategy, this is unacceptable, even during peacetime.

Therefore, we've been exploring different ways of getting the same results, with admittedly inconclusive results. Attempts at capturing non-mass-produced siren units have been, so far, impossible, and our only methods of examining their technology is through old Crimson Axis equipment. Before you ask, no, we do not know why their guns need to be taken on daily walks. However, siren technology does undeniably contain at least a little bit of a biological element. This is where the real meat of this subject begins.

They, like our ships, are alive. The difference here is that the sirens know what they are doing. We're just firing shots in the dark over here, and you'll understand when we start to take desperate measures.

Our ships eat, sleep, breathe, bleed, think, and work. Medicine works on them the same way as it does on people, with Graf Spee's CBD antidepressants test as the example. Every test we send their way makes them seem more human. Don't even get me started on whether they are or not. I have that argument with way too many people. I guess their consumption of oil, that nasty Oxy-cola, and straight-up engine coolant does throw a wrench in things. The point is, if they pass all of the tests as living creatures, then we can assume they have all of the traits of living creatures. I hope you can understand where I'm going with this. I'm sure the unlabelled packages of clomiphene citrate will explain what I cannot over an official letter.

I want to make this very clear. I CANNOT order you to do anything. Even if it was in my power, I couldn't morally order you to. I am merely stating that we are in desperate need of a breakthrough and sometimes those come from uncomfortable angles. I'm sure nobody enjoyed working on the manhattan project. I just see a potential plateau on the horizon, and am trying to think ahead and avoid it. Deal with this however you wish. Inform those with the clearance to do so or don't. I don't care.

However, I'm sure you're aware the sirens have a significant electronic warfare advantage on us, so do NOT discuss this via any form other than via courier or in person, and don't make a public service announcement about this. This has the possibility of being gigantic, and we want to keep the sirens in the dark for as long as possible.

Call me if you have any questions, and happy sailing,

Spencer.

[END]

Upon receiving this letter, I did call him during lunch. We were both forced to be vague, but he basically repeated the same message as his letter did. He recommended at least telling some of the people on the island.

That day, I called an emergency meeting, but before I could do any of that, I had someone to visit.

I walked down the corridors of the Iron Blood dormitories. It was very easy to find the door I was looking for, as it was the only one with a guard in front of it. As an apology, Iron Blood conceded that the room's occupant was to be guarded by someone from another nation. Of course, they would have to be someone who would have no trouble overpowering the occupant or at least surviving enough to sound the alarm.

South Dakota stood vigil beside the door with her rigging deployed. She didn't move at all as I approached, and she seemed to be carved from citrine. As I got closer, I started to realize the scale of her. Seriously, the woman was massive, and there was no doubt in my mind as to why, despite being a battleship, she specialized in close-quarters combat. The unshakable statue turned and said, "Hello, commander. Can I help you with anything?"

"I would like to see her."

South Dakota's face changed to one of concern. "Are you sure? You must remember-"

I snapped, "And I remember it well! Who am I?"

She blinked, "You're the commander."

"Is there anyone here who can tell me where I may or may not go?"

"No, sir. Please, at least let me accompany you."

I sighed, "Fine. I'm sorry for snapping at you. However, I have to talk to her about something sensitive, so please stay outside."

She hesitated. "I… I understand. If there is any sign of trouble, know that I won't even bother with the door."

"We've had to replace and reinforce that door at least five times now. I doubt you'll have any problem with it, though. If you'll excuse me…"

I twisted the knob and opened the door into what appeared to be a standard one room living space. That would seem so from a layman's glance, but a more detailed inspection would reveal it was designed to be the coziest form of a cage we could make with materials on hand. The room had no artificial light on, but enough came through the window to see. This single-person room contained a single person sitting at a table near the window. She appeared to be writing something.

The sunlight illuminated her blonde hair and revealed red highlights underneath. Her yellow eyes either reflected more sunlight than was natural, or generated light on their own. Light also reflected off her pale skin, yet was also absorbed by her black clothing. She was actually quite beautiful, but I suppose the saying "It's what's inside that counts" has some merit here.

I began with, "It's quite dim in here."

Roon looked up at me with eyes that gave away nothing but happiness and said, "I thought it was customary to knock, but I always enjoy surprise visits from you."

"I like to come from time to time. I know our relationship has been… strained basically since the get-go, but I don't want you to feel you've been forgotten."

"Oh, no. I don't feel that way at all. I mean, I still sortie and you know that's my favorite thing. Killing your own designers. It would be poetic if I didn't feel so leashed."

"That leash is of your own making, and you know it. I've tried to get it relaxed, but you haven't exactly been helping."

"We all have chains that bind us; restraining orders, paychecks, ...oaths. They're all the same. Though, some are comfortable with the simplicity of a cage."

"You're not in a cage, if you're implying that. You're free to walk wherever you want, anytime."

"I am, I am, but if I were to try and get as close to you as I like right now, that unrefined, masochistic, oversized lapdog would come barging in. Union ships are most of the most difficult people to work with. They claim to be all sunshine and roses, but as soon as I want something as simple as a hug, they scatter."

"Wonder why. At least I've hugged you before."

She placed her armored hands on her cheeks and stared off into space. "Oh, you've done more than that, commander. This ring right here proves it. A shame we couldn't have done as much as I wanted. Well, you wanted it too, but then things got complicated."

"You mean I nearly bled out and recognized I had to re-think some decisions."

"Oh, don't be such a baby. Speaking of, you were here to ask me something?"

"How did-"

"Commander, I was one of the first Iron Blood ships to come with an electronic warfare package, one which you still barely understand to this day. I hear many things. Tell me, how is Rodney's fire control computer?"

"Still bricked, no thanks to you."

"She was such a do-gooder, unable to recognize art when it truly presented itself."

"As artistic as Stalingrad."

"I read about that, but critique aside, we're getting off topic."

"Yes. I'm sure you're aware of how our development program is the only way to produce new ships, but it's unacceptably slow."

"I am."

"After some research and note-checking, it's been theorized that there may be other more unorthodox methods of 'soul forming' as they put it."

Roon replied sarcastically, "Oh, you twisted little man. I know exactly what they're talking about. Why is it you're telling me about this? You know how unstable I am. I might do something with it."

"I've been informed that the thing that got us searching was in your design blueprints. After reviewing them, we noticed a very-well hidden weapon. Specifically, a bio-weapon. Currently, it's in a dormant state, but I thought it would be prudent to ask if you knew anything about it."

"Looks like you built something you don't understand, doesn't it? Unfortunately, I can't be of any help." She knocked herself in the head and put on a smug expression. "After everything I've been through, gaps in my long-term memory should be expected. That being said, I thought I was flagged as not to be trusted. I want to know why you even bothered to come to me with this."

I tried to dodge. "I… Well… We looked in the right direction because of you, and R&D is pretty confident the dormant weapon contributes to your… disposition. God help us if something woke it up. It couldn't hurt to ask and maybe you'd decide to be cooperative."

She stared at me and her eyes shifted to a redder hue. "But that isn't the true reason you came, is it?"

"No, it isn't. If you already know, why not show a modicum of mercy for once and just keep it to yourself?"

Her breath hastened. "No. I want to hear you say it. Do it for me?"

I sighed and painfully said, "Because you're the only one I can truly and openly talk about this to. I'd be lying if I said I could really be open with everyone and I know you would never lie to me. That's why… That's why you're the only one with the ring on her finger, as much as it pains me to say."

Roon's face showed that of brief ecstasy. She took a deep breath and said, "That felt really good. I'm going to need a change of undergarments after this."

I chuckled, "You're gross, but don't worry. Premature happens to the best of us."

"Oh, you're funny. You should feel confident that every part of me speaks the truth. We all live our lies, though. Enterprise thinks she has a chance at civilian life. Akagi believes that simply being in the presence of power will empower her. Many in the Sakura (and some in the Union) obsess over another in their faction. They all live the lie that the one they focus on reciprocates. At least Belfast doesn't pretend she's free. She's one of the few people I respect. She's got some fantasies that are impressive, even by my standards."

I made a mental note of that. "I think Bismarck has started flirting with me now, in her own weird way."

Roon looked mildly surprised, "The giant moves."

"With that in mind, I wanted to tell you that I'm a little stuck."

"How so?"

"Because if I don't reveal this to them, they'll all stay in this tense limbo. It'd be the last piece to get them out and show them one of the strongest ways of expressing themselves. I feel they deserve to know it."

"Rights are the creation of the current dominant authority, be it nature or those shiny things on your shoulders. It is by your grace do they know or not."

Continuing, I said, "But if I do, I'm worried that might just make it worse. To be honest, I'm more than a little scared I'm going to get trampled by the metaphorical elephants. I don't think they're going to be able to handle it well."

"Oh, commander. Stuck by yourself on an island of superhuman above-averagely attractive and emotional women. With guns. What's someone like you to do? As an officer, you know an idea is something you can't control, and let's be honest, how much control do you have over us?"

"Very little. I've been working on it, though."

"I heard. A little part of me hoped that this visit was about that little initiative you were doing."

"I do have time. Would you like to do it now?"

"Not what I'm thinking of, unfortunately. But then again, that might awaken something, and that would be such a tragedy. I suppose we'll have to do your thing. Come. Sit down with me."

I sat down at the table with her. It was populated only by a solitary lilac in a glass vase and a piece of paper with some writing on it. I would've bet money the paper would repeatedly say, "All work and no play makes Roon a dull girl.", but it didn't. It actually appeared to be the start of a diary. We both silently acknowledged this.

I began, "So, how've you been?" I stopped there and sniffed the air. I sensed oil, leaned back, and noticed a little dripping off Roon's chair. "That's just…"

She retorted, "You put it there, but if it irks you, I can change."

Roon got up and moved toward her wardrobe. I asked, "Do you want me to step outside?"

She turned back to me and smiled. "Commander, you've seen me in far less. Unlike that backstabbing half-fox Akagi, I know when and where it's appropriate."

"Akagi likes to assert herself very early into things, sometimes too early. I bet she thinks it will give her an edge over the meeker people and identify those with enough gall to stand up to her."

Roon scoffed, "Akagi thinks a lot of things. She thinks she's got what it takes, but behind those red diamond pupils I see a very desperate beast clawing at straws. You happen to be the longest one she's pulled so far. She also happens to know a lot, but only pretends to not fear it, or even to comprehend it. That being said, can you grab me a paper towel?"

I did so, and three minutes later we returned to the table. It would've taken shorter, but Roon wanted to reinforce her confidence in herself. While her clothing's color palette was dominated by black and red, she did look pretty in pink. I said so, and she seemed satisfied.

I began again, "So, have you always been like this?"

"Of course. I am no more or less me than I was the day I was conceived of. I just happen to have a lot more personality than most of them do. You know this, and I knew it as well the day you strode my deck and walked my halls, before I even had a humanoid body to express myself with."

I do remember supervising sometimes during Roon's hull construction. I heard rumors of workers having bizarre dreams and feelings of being watched as they built her. I remember scolding them for claiming that the dark metal hull had eyes. To prove the ship was mundane, I promised that I would stay the night. I can't say it was a mistake, but it was certainly enlightening.

At first, I threw a blanket and pillow over one of the bunks and explored the ship. I saw signs of construction everywhere. Roon's hull was a different alloy designed to dissipate thermal and electromagnetic energy much more easily than other metals in response to sirens' energy weapons. It had a much darker color and required modified welding equipment. Admittedly, I stumbled over them a few times. Despite being dry docked, the ship creaked and made noises, probably the metal settling as the welds cooled.

However, I too felt a presence. At first, some of the noises seemed too intentional, almost human. I tried to patrol and look for a prankster hiding somewhere, but the sounds always seemed to keep it's distance. Close enough to echo throughout the halls, yet too far to pinpoint exactly the source. Sounds of clambering and the pinging of cooling metal drove me deeper into the ship, to the point where I had to consult the map a few times.

I returned to the main deck and ascended to the bridge to eat my dinner and enjoy the sunset. As the sun disappeared around the horizon, the presence was much stronger than before. It had no voice, yet beckoned me to return belowdecks. I finished my meal and walked the halls once more.

The ship noises were then joined by obvious, but still unintelligible whispers. They were like auditory will o' the wisps and were just too tempting to ignore. They said nothing, yet were all in the same voice and clearly were leading me somewhere. I'd seen ghosts before, but this was different. I did not know why, but I was certain that this wasn't some kind of outsider spook. The ship itself wanted me somewhere. Shipgirls were nothing new to me at this point, but here is where I truly understood that this was a ship with a soul and a voice. It seemed inexperienced and unable to form words, like it didn't quite understand where, who, or what it was. That being said, it seemed happy with itself and overjoyed that someone took the time to be silent and listen to it.

I eventually found myself in the engine room. This section was lit by deployable fixtures for some reason. I shone my flashlight down through the grating to have a look at the massive boilers and even bigger steam turbines. Immediately, the noises stopped. I was at the heart of the ship and wondered what I was doing there. I pulled up a foldable chair and sat down in it. First, I switched off my flashlight. Still nothing. Then, I decided to switch off the construction floodlamps.

I was immediately bathed in darkness and total silence. I could hear myself breathing and the lamp buzzing as it slowly powered itself down. I don't know how long I sat there; It may have been a full hour. Eventually, however, a ship noise returned. This time it was another metal settling noise, this time behind me and closer than any other had been before. There was another creak, this time much closer. A minute went by and I sat in cold sweat for a long time, but I didn't dare turn on the light. I'd started this, and I would see it through. I heard a banging noise come from inside the boiler right under me and my heart nearly exploded out of my chest. Again, I didn't turn on the light. Not that I had a choice, I was nearly paralyzed in fear. After a few more clanks and bumps, I realized they seemed more intentional, more organized. In retrospect, I'd compare it to someone tuning their instrument. A pattern started to show itself. First, there was a tempo, and then a rhythm. There was a brief moment of silence, and then the ship sang to me. I really can't describe it very well with words, much less text, so I'll have to leave it to the reader's imagination. Previously background ship noises came together to form this waltz of clanking, pinging, and ticking. It had the effect of a serenade. The machine had no mouth, but made it's voice heard.

Take it however you wish. Use it as evidence in a case against my fitness for command, email me and tell me I'm insane, send me sheets of boy band music with "Did it sound like this?" written on them. I don't care. I know what I heard that night and nobody else can tell me otherwise. I sat for a long time listening to the continuous song. It switched to a lullaby and I eventually fell asleep. In the morning, I was still sitting in the chair and some worker was shining a flashlight in my face. After chewing them out and telling them that the ship wasn't haunted, I made a personal note to return as often as I could.

Fast forward a few more listening sessions and weeks, Roon was completed. I personally oversaw her wisdom cube anthropomorphisation process. I remember her opening her eyes and the both of us looking at each other. We knew each other, but now we could see literally eye to eye. Of course, both of us feigned ignorance. In fact, neither of us spoke for some time. We were both busy; I with task force management and her with post-production trials.

But, the universe needs it's balance, and beauty can't exist without at least a little blood. I won't say that she wasn't what I thought she was. I think I just got carried away with the wonder and blinded myself to danger signs that would've been obvious to most people. Either that, or I wasn't ready yet myself to handle what I'd picked.

Back to the present, Roon remarked, "Are you done with your flashback yet?"

I said, "Oh. Yes, I am."

She concernedly said, "Any regrets?"

I struggled with my words. "Yeah. I have some, and most of the really bad ones are with you."

She acted hurt, "Do you see me as a regret, commander?"

"No, not at all. I regret my lack of perception and what I had to do to you because of it."

"They aren't the fondest memories, but you know I can put up with a lot for you." She put her hand under my chin, the ring glistening in the sunlight. "However, my best memories are also with you. You, like I, can go extremely in either direction. You are simply a combination of more restrained and less honest with yourself."

"At least I try to act like I'm genuinely trying to be nice to people. You're like oatmeal with too much brown sugar in it."

She grinned, "Sweet, thick, and healthy eating. I see no problem with the analogy."

I groaned, "As healthy as cocaine. You know you have the rare talent of derailing a conversation?"

"Words are overrated. Rhetoric with nothing behind it dries me up faster than-"

"Yes, I get it. Actions to express, not words."

"It's something you believe as well, don't you?"

"I suppose I do."

She mused, "But, words aren't meaningless and we appreciate their power, especially when put into song. You remember my voice, don't you?"

"I don't think I could ever forget."

"It's good to see we both cherish the same memories. It just goes to show that we aren't as different as you'd like to think us to be. I'll let you know that the 'reworking' that was done to me didn't do a thing except teach me patience. I will get what I want in time, and considering all of the time shenanigans that happen in this world, I have more than all the time in the world."

"Like a shark."

"Unlike all of our U-boats and most of our cruisers, I don't come with fins. I'd compare myself to a tiger. An elegant, but often misunderstood, force of nature."

"And frequently drenched in blood."

"Nature is unforgiving. Why should I be?"

"You are impossible to argue with."

"And I don't know why you keep trying when you are simply a few steps away from seeing eye to eye to me. I've gazed into your eyes. You enjoy what you do."

I was silent.

"I've seen you when you take direct command. You watch the shells and the charges. Your body twitches with the rush of glory every time one lands home. I was there when they were getting away at Malta and you realized you couldn't personally do anything about it. It was that day that I realized why you always bring that anti-material rifle every time you go on expeditions. You ran down several flights of stairs, returned with it, and shot that lurker in the eye repeatedly. That certainly made my blood boil."

"You hate the sirens, don't you? All of their mental gymnastics, their superior technology, their cat-and-mouse tactics; You hate them, right? You want to pry them apart and hurl their oh-so-superior attitude and nigh-magical equipment right back at them. That's why I'm here, isn't it? Because I just might hold the key to winning, but you can't stomach the means."

I was still quiet.

"You, like me, love war. You scream at the sky, swearing vengeance. You want to make those despicable sirens pay and war is the most satisfying way to do it. There is nothing more freeing. Maybe it was fate that you just so happened to be in the position to wage it. I agree with you. I'm sick of the cushy stagnation of peacetime, and what better of a way to break it than fighting a barely-understood alien menace? They're literally eldritch aliens from outer space. It could not be easier to write them off. You and I are exactly where we both want and need to be." Again, she showed off her ring finger and said, "You knew this, but you disappointed me when you retreated from it. Now what do you do? Ask people how their day was?"

I replied, "I've got enough insight to know what you're saying is right. I also have enough to realize that I can't just act without restraint or composure. I'm not saying you're an embarrassment, but you're more of a liability than I can afford. I think we're both going to have to do some personal growth before we can be out… together again."

Roon mused, "I don't mind being behind closed doors. It adds more to the mystery for everyone else."

"Well, is there anything you want?"

"The visits are always nice, but I'd like to go on walks every now and then. All the adorable little destroyers see me as some kind of boogeyman and it would give me a laugh to see me in person."

"The reason is disappointing, but the request is fine. I'll get back to you as soon as I can with a schedule."

"I look forward to it with bated breath."

I walked toward the door. Roon waved goodbye and sighed longingly. I said, "See you later, Roon." As I exited the room, South Dakota looked down to me and said, "Did everything go well?"

I replied, "Yes. I think it did."

She continued, "That's good you're getting along better with her. I heard you had a falling out, but I'm glad to hear you're talking again. After all, she is your-"

I performed a glare toward South Dakota. She stopped and cleared her throat. "I watched a movie where a wise person said there are no accidents. Maybe rough times are a test, so we can appreciate the good times."

I pondered this. "Very wise. Don't take it personally, South Dakota. You're a steadfast person and you do good work. She just said some unpleasant truths and I'm fatigued."

She smiled. "Thank you sir. You're very kind."

I walked off and said, "I try to be."