A/N: Friday I was woken up by an earthquake at 4am. Where does my brain immediately go? I remembered a stupid one-off joke in Two and A Half Men from years ago. This dumb drabble is the result. Shout out if you remember that Two and A Half Men episode I'm talking about!

This drabble is rated "M"! I repeat, this drabble is rated "M"! It's comedy with M-rated content.

And the Earth Fell Away

Their bodies moved together in a gentle rhythm, the lovers lost to the world as they gave of themselves to each other in their timeless rhapsody.

On his back, he stared up into her eyes and she into his as she led their slow song. No words were necessary, their smiles communicating the endless depths of their love while their clasped hands were raised between them as they tried to get just that much more of each other.

As the long minutes passed a heat began building, deep at the center of their union. The gentle rhythm grew into a strident and primal dance. Her hands left his and tightly gripped his shoulders as he took a stronger leading role. Her forearms held her over his chest and his hands slid up her waist until they circled her back protectively.

Her voice, husky and low, joined the chorus of love their bodies were singing.

"Ohhhhh... ohhh... Ohhh... Oh! ...Oh, Dr. D... Ohhhhh..."

She closed her eyes and sank to his chest, laying her head aside his as her breathy cries continued. He held her closer and prepared to lose himself entirely in the building heat. But a sudden clattering noise brought him to alertness and he began to re-orient himself to their surroundings. He saw the make-up products and nail polish bottles begin toppling over on the vanity. And tilting his head back and to the side, he saw on the shelf of the headboard the source of the clattering where two spoons in bowls from the previous night's ice cream were shaking, seemingly of their own accord.

"Shego..." he said as understanding suddenly struck.

He glanced around them in alarm as he became conscious of the bed shaking beneath them, and not from their tumultuous passions. Shego seemed completely unaware of the danger as her voice rose in pitch and volume in between the suckling kisses she placed on his neck.

The new added variable of the dramatically vibrating bed left his mind in turmoil as her zealous writhing rapidly overshadowed the awareness of their potential peril trying to break through. Her feverish rocking and pleading pushed all thoughts of danger out of his mind as he answered her desperate overtures, and together they flew into the heavens.

Somewhere through his euphoria he heard a terrible loud cracking sound and the harsh shearing of metal. A rush of spilling water followed, and he tried to make sense of the sound even as one side of the bed sank and suddenly impacted the stone floor. He clung to her tightly, worrying for their safety even as he lost himself in the staggering ecstasy of their flight.

The foreign sounds and shaking surrounding them ceased, but he ignored it all in favor of gently running his hands up and down Shego's back as she trembled and twitched against him. Her quick breaths were hot against his cheek where her head still lie beside his.

"It's an earthquake," he managed to get out, his voice tense as his body demanded he ignore his rational mind. He turned his head as he heard Shego chuckle weakly through her panting.

"Oh, the earth moved for me too," she smirked.

"No," he gasped, "it's a real earthquake. Look."

Shego lifted her head and Drakken with her, and they took in the startling evidence of the twisted door, the water from the moat spilling over the floor, and the collapsed side of the bed. There was a jagged crack and slight crevice through the middle of the floor that crossed the moat, went halfway up the wall, and disappeared under the bed. One half of the floor on the left side of the crack was lower than the rest. Drakken realized this was the reason for the bed's collapse.

"We have to get out of here!" he said as panic started to rise. Never-mind the obvious structural damage to the room, but an aftershock could suddenly bring the ceiling down on them.

With a growl of annoyance she dismounted him and quickly began grabbing clothes. He followed suit and they found themselves backing into the corner of the room while they dressed to avoid the rapidly pooling water from the damage to the moat.

"I guess it's finally time to say goodbye to this lair..." Drakken said sadly. "I'll miss having our own island."

Shego didn't answer, but Drakken glanced at her as he heard her mumbling.

"Earthquake..." she said, and he lifted his brow.

"What was that?"

She glanced at him, and he caught her brief smirk before she turned away and schooled her face. "Here I thought you were just that good."

Drakken had a brief flash of dismay before he realized she was joking by the shake of her shoulders and the smirk she was trying to hide.

Having finished hastily dressing they hurried toward the door, but it was damaged and wouldn't open. Drakken gasped in alarm as beneath their feet the tremors of an aftershock began. Shego ignited her glow and blasted the door, grabbing his hand and yanking him through the second the green flames had cleared.

As they sprinted through the halls to escape the danger, the absurdity of it all overcame Drakken and he began to laugh. Shego looked back at him.

"What?"

Drakken smirked. "Maybe in our next lair we can get one of those mattresses with a vibrating massage feature."

Shego joined him in laughter, and as they reached the main room their likewise fleeing henchmen watched the guffawing pair in confusion as together they all escaped the collapsing lair.