MASTER's Folder
Disclaimer & Author's Note: I do not own Vocaloid or any and all official/fan-made characters, except my own fan-mades. This is just a collection of one-shots that don't fit anywhere else, or have no space within the ever-complex workings that is my mind. As you can tell already, this folder contains miscellaneous Vocaloid stories that I test-run or just create on a whim that may or may not have a back-story plotline, or are challenges made by others which I answer.
Vocaloid Blotter
A mini-series of "reports" as seen on this website and inspired by the Headlines segment featured on The Jay Leno Show (and before Jay moved to 9 PM, The Tonight Show). Some are re-worded while others are completely made-up.
=0=0=
FOR SALE: Kagamine Twincest Pictures. Come meet the uninteresting fellow by the Sapporo High School behind the dumpsters. To find this gentleman, he will be wearing a blue scarf.
=0=0=
POLICE BLOTTER: 9:34 AM. Ice Cream Bandit was seen robbing the Häagen Daz Ice Cream Mart. Subject has blue hair, wears a long scarf and his nipples are censored by white stars. Police are advised on using Hot Air Guns when attempting to arrest this man.
=0=0=
BE ADVISED: A pervert is on the loose. All women, girls, and shota are advised of a man with purple hair stalking the public bath houses and hot springs.
=0=0=
FOR SALE: Hatchune Miku. ¥20.
=0=0=
12:34 PM. Kagamine Len was sent home for cross-dressing in school, trying to be his more popular twin sibling, Kagamine Rin. The reason for this was Len was hoping to beat up Shion Kaito, an upperclassman of Sapporo High. However the plan obviously did not work when Kaito proved how much of a pervert he was by trying to initiate sexual relations.
=0=0=
LOST: Slave. Name: Ng Ronald. Likes: Unknown. Dislikes: The girl who owns him.
=0=0=
FOUND: Slave. Name: Ng Ronald. Found by: Kagamine Len. Reason: To use when escaping fangirl traps.
=0=0=
POLICE BLOTTER: 4:57 PM. Someone called 911 to report a robbery. Police came to the scene. Turns out the blonde ditz was holding the stolen property all this time, which turned out to be her cellphone.
=0=0=
POLICE BLOTTER: 3:30 PM. Subject is causing chaos in school. When police arrived, a construction machine (Road Roller) was destroying the Computer Lab. The arrested convict turns out to be sixteen year old Kagamine Rin. She claims the printers are broken; one had a broken cartridge, and is unable to print out her homework. The rest however were in perfect condition until flattened by the construction machinery.
=0=0=
8:13 PM. Hatsune Miku is going all psycho over a fan who continues to stalk her. This fan, who shall remain nameless, continues to take pictures of her when she least expects it. However the perpetrator has left behind one vital clue for police who continue to search for the stalker: a long blue scarf. Other found items were a broken pair of glasses and a single strand of short black hair.
=0=0=
FOR SALE: Roda Rolla. Has been used in the deconstruction of Sapporo, Hokkaido, during an attempt at reconstruction. For sale at a low price of ¥2,000
=0=0=
FOR ADOPTION: Kagamine Len and Kagamine Rin. Seven years old twins. Will sing for you, and perform acts of twincest if they catch a hold of doujinshi.
=0=0=
POLICE BLOTTER: 5:37 PM. Shion Kaito was arrested on 90 charges of underaged Vocaloid pornography (Kagamine Len & Kagamine Rin twincest). He blames the crime on Tako Luka where it jumped out of the fish tank and started pressing buttons.
=0=0=
FOR SALE: A dozen of Häagen Daz Ice Cream cartons, aged 4 years old. Each carton has had their contents sucked clean, and are left with the sticks. One is missing however, so it's not really a dozen cartons being sold.
=0=0=
7:30 PM. Leeks, Liquor, Bananas, Oranges, Ice Cream, Eggplants, Tuna, and Carrots stolen from Sapporo School Refrigerator and Freezer Rooms. Police also suspect that the perpetrators will be caught because police found writing on the wall, which says, "KAGAMINE TWINS WUZ HERE!"
=0=0=
POLICE BLOTTER: 6:00 PM. Police were called to Crypton Company for a report about a "suspicious Vocaloid". Investigating officer reported it was Yowane Haku.
=0=0=
ADVERTISEMENT: VOCAPET is the next best thing towards owning a real Vocaloid! Adorable, chibi animal-human hybrid, will act much like a real dog or cat, or octopus (Tako Luka VOCAPET, see online for details). Operates on USB Power Plug. Comes with collar, pet brush, leash, 5 gallon fish tank (Tako Luka accessory), and animal treats that comes in an assortment of flavors: Neapolitan ice cream, Spring Onion, Tuna, Banana, Orange, Sake, Carrot, and Eggplant.
=0=0=
2:00 PM. Peculiar man arrested for being peculiar. Man has blue hair and the only article of clothing was a long scarf that naturally censored his crotch, but not his ass. His friend however ran away on a giant eggplant with sticks for legs. How it ran like a horse baffles police.
=0=0=
POLICE BLOTTER: 4:30 PM. A neighbor complained about a teenaged boy, blonde hair, blue-green eyes, about the age of 14 or 15, being seen leaving a house of College Professor Sakine Meiko, age 26. The neighbor said that the boy was screwing the woman who said pervert called a hot MILF, and wished it was him. He was later administered to the hospital because a sake bottle cracked him hard over the side of the head.
More to come soon. ^_^