MASTER's Folder

Disclaimer & Author's Note: I do not own Vocaloid or any and all official/fan-made characters, except my own fan-mades. This is just a collection of one-shots that don't fit anywhere else, or have no space within the ever-complex workings that is my mind. As you can tell already, this folder contains miscellaneous Vocaloid stories that I test-run or just create on a whim that may or may not have a back-story plotline, or are challenges made by others which I answer. This chapter contains very crude adult humor once seen on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Straight-Edge Kagamine

"Really, Len?"

Rin questioned whether or not it was all just one big prank. Or maybe it's to get back at her because she frightened the shit out of him last week with the use of Gakupo's voice emulated on a voice altering program, and using the word shouta over and over and over again.

"Oh, c'mon Rin... you never heard of the Straight-Edge Society?"

"Never in my wildest dreams, Len," Rin responds, "Uh... this isn't some joke, right? You and Kaito aren't taping this, wondering to see my reaction?"

"Nope... I mean it." And he holds out a pair of electric cordless shears to her, "now shave my head."

Here, Miku decides to interfere by spitting her drink out. She heard enough.

"Len? Bald? Baby butt bald?"

And Meiko started to laugh, as she thought of Len walking around with a shiny head devoid of any of his famous locks of blonde hair that most fangirls would get into massive fights with other fangirls across the globe just to get even a small strand of his delicious yellow hair... erm...

"Okay Len, this has to be some sort of prank! Like you'll EVER let anyone cut your hair unless Master David gives us all haircuts. So, where's Kaito so I can kick his ass and take the camera back, huh?"

"Fine, I'll shave my head."

Len stole the shears back, flips the power on... and the first strands that fall from his first cut hit the ground...

=0=0=

David sighed. "Len... wrestling isn't really real. Well, it's partly real, but most of the time they are a source of great entertainment... but damn I never saw a city-wide flock of fangirls swarm the apartment like that before."

Their apartment was being repaired, and until then had to stay at a motel... in the middle of nowhere... with just the clothes on their... okay, ya know what. They lost everything due to fangirls (and some fanboys) stealing everything they had, so they're all butt naked at the motel right now. Len of course didn't respond; he was hit by a tranquil dart that had enough serum to knock down a rampaging, PMSing, Bull Elephant.

"Hey Rin..." Miku pointed to Len who was sitting upright in a couch.

Rin took a tissue she had to wipe a bit of drool that dribbled down the side of his mouth.

"Never knew a girl can hide a tranquilizer gun in between her breasts like that, though," David said, now remembering that event again of Len and the dart gun.

A Medical Situation

"911. Do you need fire, police, or medical?" says Neru at her new job.

"Yeah... I need to go to the hospital," says the other person at the end of the line.

"Okay, what for, sir?"

"I... I kind of got my penis stuck in a bottle. It's a large bottle but I got stuck."

And Neru blinked slowly. "Okay..."

"It's not a laughing matter," the other guy says hurriedly.

Hell yeah it is, Neru thought with an inner-mind laugh.

"But yeah... I need to go to the hospital."

"I'm sending medical over now, sir," Neru says.

"Oh, and one more thing... can you try and contact my sister Rin?"

Rin? Where have I- Then she blinked again. "Len? Kagamine Len, from high school? Is this you?"

"Uh... Akita Neru?"

"Yeah?"

Click!

She hears a dial tone on her headset. Ignoring the looks from her two co-workers at the switch board, she laughs.

I'm back... Time for more insanity! The last oneshot comes from a segment featured on The Tonight Show called "Dealing with the Public". Yeah, I know I'm a bit weird, but I get oneshot inspirations from anything. If this made you laugh, then my work is done.