MASTER's Folder
Disclaimer & Author's Note: I do not own Vocaloid or any and all official/fan-made characters, except my own fan-mades. This is just a collection of one-shots that don't fit anywhere else, or have no space within the ever-complex workings that is my mind. As you can tell already, this folder contains miscellaneous Vocaloid stories that I test-run or just create on a whim that may or may not have a back-story plotline, or are challenges made by others which I answer.
Vocaloid Blotter 3
A mini-series of "reports" as seen on this website and inspired by the Headlines segment featured on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (and before Jay moved back to 10 PM due to NBC, The Jay Leno Show). Some are re-worded while others are completely made-up.
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Free to a Good Home: Fraternal Twins, Kagamine Len and Kagamine Rin. Have had shots. Prone to twincest acts.
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For Sale: Anti-Rape Kit. Only useful for elementary school girls, and can keep predators away, including the elusive creature known as a KAITO Pedobear.
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Luka turns in her son Len for stealing her panties
Sapporo, Hokkaido, JP – A Sapporo woman called police after she found her son stealing her panties and using them to fap off while also sniffing them. Police arrived to take 15 year old teen to Juvenile Detention Center, where he was quickly released on bail by his twin sister. He is scheduled for a court hearing next week.
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Sakine Meiko called the police and Sapporo Animal Control Officer Akita Neru, with the help of two cops, was able to coax the talking octopus out through an open window. The octopus was not charged with breaking and entering.
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A wonderful garden decoration for the home. A large sunflower made of beer bottles and glassworks. Just another way of telling the neighbors you're an alcoholic. Contact Glass Arts Worker Sakine Meiko for more detail.
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POLICE BLOTTER: 5:12 pm. Police was alerted to a 911 call reported at the corner of fifth street and central avenue on a report of something highly suspicious seen. When the police had arrived to investigate, they found a pink-haired girl with drill-shaped pigtails bleeding from the nose. Later investigation reports that the girl had seen two boys, one with blonde hair, and the other with short teal hair, having sex in the living room with the windows open for all to see. The boys were given a warning not to purposely perform yaoi acts for fangirls in the neighborhood.
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Free to a Good Home: Borderline Leg-Walker Vocaloids.
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POLICE BLOTTER: 6:52 am. A woman from the 100 block of Treble Drive reported two human beings were being beaten up by midgets wielding leeks under a bathroom closet.
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Man Arrested on Molestation Charges, But Freed Later
29 year old Hiyama Kiyoteru was arrested on Tuesday for molesting a grade school girl. The reports stemmed from an eye witness seeing the young man prompting a small black-haired girl to perform oral on him. He was released on bail by the girl he allegedly was accused of molesting. The charges have been dropped but the home school teacher and Kaai Yuki have since disappeared.
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POLICE BLOTTER: 2:10 am. Police called to a robbery in progress. Culprit described as a one foot tall midget with teal pigtails, waving a leek around, and looked disturbingly similar to Hatsune Miku. Culprit managed to escape; store damages included broken windows, a door, and 100 pounds of spring onions stolen from the back.
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Boy Toy Ad
Do you want Party Entertainment on a sweet sixteen party, or is it for a more private one? Do you like yaoi? Are you a delicious fangirl? We can perform anything the girl's desire. We'll even be willing to fuck you, your mom (she must be a hot MILF), and all of your female friends and still have room to fuck your brothers (must be cute and sexy), sisters (must be equally sexy and cute), and have room for each other or with more partners at the same time. We don't do fathers (unless he's handsome and not overweight or anything). Call this number of you are interested: 1-888-HOT-YAOI (If our sisters Rin or Miku picks up, please hang up and call back later.)
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Free Deep-Tissue Snow Massage with the purchase of an ice cream shake. Call KAITO at 563-xxx-xxxx
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WANTED: Lap-dancer girls willing to dress up as popular Pop Idol, Hatsune Miku.
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FIND MY LOST PET: Short yellow white-haired cat with a full left white ear, and full canary yellow right ear, blue eyes with a hazel of green, and wears a cleft-marked white handkerchief around the neck. Around 1 to 2 years old in age, and is rather mischievous as it likes to steal panties. If you find him, contact the owner, Kagamine Rin. The lost cat should have an orange collar hidden under the handkerchief with a heart-shaped tag, with the name Len on it.
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Tech People 4 out of 5 Recommend Honne Dell
Got problems? No problem. Contact Dell for any of your problems. If you have a problem, make sure he can understand the problem. If the problem is troublesome, well... you got a problem.
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Got pest problems? Don't worry. Incinerations Akaito Co. can deal with any infestations, including but not limited to: fangirls, fanboys, drunken rampages, obsessed demons bent on world domination, and pedobear.
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WANTED: Master of Kagamineshipping. Must work discreetly. If you can do this task and not get killed, contact Ishtal Sekai.
The Author flips the newspaper, revealing this other ad on another page of the Want Ads.
WANTED: Hired Hit for person impersonating me, the real Ishtal Sekai. Reward is lots of smut and Len and Rin performing acts of twincest for you.
The Author then finds this response the next week in the Want Ads.
WANTED: Assassin who can discreetly murder Ishtal Sekai for using us in much of his porn-related stories. Reward is ten thousand yen.
Finally, the next week after the Author discovers this:
WANTED: Hired Bodyguard to protect me from Kagamine Twins who are angry at me for using them in the majority of my lemon-related plots, ideas, and storylines. Reward is lot of smut.
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Smut Writer Found Dead
June 14, 2010
Ishtal Sekai passed away, found murdered in his home. It is unclear if Len and Rin are the culprits responsible for murdering this 23 year old young man who is widely known as a daily smut writer for a majority of different genres, as well as being able to write non-smuttified fanfiction on Fanfiction DOT net. Investigations are still ongoing, and his works still continue to update by unknown means, both porn-related and non porn-related.