MASTER's Folder
Disclaimer & Author's Note: I do not own Vocaloid or any and all official/fan-made characters, except my own fan-mades. This is just a collection of one-shots that don't fit anywhere else, or have no space within the ever-complex workings that is my mind. As you can tell already, this folder contains miscellaneous Vocaloid stories (crossover-related or not) that I test-run or just create on a whim that may or may not have a back-story plotline, or are challenges made by others which I answer.
Vocaloid Blotter 4
A mini-series of "reports" as seen on this website and inspired by the Headlines segment featured on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Some are re-worded while others are completely made-up.
POLICE BLOTTER: 5:37 PM. Police respond to a 911 call. A woman with long pink hair is running around the Wal-Mart with a pair of scissors in-hand.
Power Carpet Cleaning!
We get real progress. We perform excellent service. We'll clean up any mess on any carpet. WARNING: VOCALOID IN PICTURE IS NOT REAL.
(Image excerpt: A fat Japanese man wearing a fake long purple wig and Gakupo cosplay outfit that looks hastily-made and not truly authentic.)
What happens in your house stays in your house.
NEW! Privacy Shota!
(Now comes in banana-flavor.)
Kay's On the Beach: Huge $20 Rack
(Image excerpt: Close-up shot of Megurine Luka wearing a scantily Mrs. Claus costume that barely covers her womanly parts, and shows an extreme part of her breasts.)
POLICE BLOTTER: 12:32 PM. A fight broke out – no weapons reported – between two boys (Kagamine Len and Utatane Piko) on the corner of Sissy Lane and Shota Street.
FOR SALE: ¥1,000 for newly-released Adult Movies starring Kagamine Len Append, Kagamine Rin Append, and Hatsune Miku Append. (You must be 22 years of age or older, plus I.D. to purchase videos; perverts not allowed)
Whatever you do is now a secret.
Introducing the brand NEW! Privacy Loli!
(Now comes in apple-flavor.)
SHION KAITO PURSUING ICE CREAM TRUCK
"I don't know why he does that every day when the ice cream truck rolls through the neighborhood," says Vocaloid artist Hatsune Miku to the Crypton Reporter, "I sometimes believe he's half dog..."
7" HACHUNE MIKU MUSICAL SPRING DOLL. She wears a pink floral dress with matching bows in her twin teal pigtails. Her head rotates to "Spring Summer Leaf".
A clean getaway: Twenty-three year-old Ishtal Sekai was arrested in Tokyo, Japan, for the robbery of what he thought was an armored car. In reality, it was a laundry truck delivering towels and mops to a bowling alley. According to police, Ishtal, holding an iron-casted spring onion, ran up to the driver and said, "Give it up!" Ishtal then grabbed a bag and ran but soon realized he had a bag of mopheads.
USB Shota Utatane Piko: Found on SW 43rd & Agnew. To identify call 682-(Censored)
HAVE YOU SEEN MY CHIBI?
Female, teal-haired with twin pigtails. Naruto swirl marks on both cheeks, likes to swing a leak at random people. She was last seen on County Rd 45. Please call Hatsune Miku at 382-(Censored).
IS THIS YOUR CHIBI?
Female, teal-haired with twin pigtails. Naruto swirl marks on both cheeks, carries a non-rotting leak. Was last seen heading south: 6/20/201X.
ONLY ONE HOTEL GIVES YOU 2 NIGHTS & CRABS FOR $169*
Hotel Floral Fuchsia
*Each seafood specialty dinner is $84 plus $1 surcharge.
Nearly nude woman steals show in theft
A clerk can't remember much about the men who robbed his convenient store, but remembers vivid details about a scantily-clad female accomplice, police report. A woman wearing only the briefest of panties accompanied two men who stole three thousand yen worth of alcoholic beverages, packs of cigarettes, and cheap wines, about 5:30 a.m. Sunday from the store close to the highway view of the nearby beach, half a mile from the nearest city.
The man who ran the store was unsure of the two men as they wore ski masks to hide their faces, but all he knew was that one of the men and the near nude woman shared red eyes. When asked if the store had security cameras, the clerk said, "This store doesn't have any, and I damn my boss for never paying the bills to keep security at the store front."
The officer placed in charge of the case was unsure if this was a punishment, or a reward.
What would make Valentine's Day special for you?
Hatsune Miku: Sapporo, Japan. Vocaloid Female Singer for Crypton Industry: "A romantic, mysterious evening."
Kagamine Len: Sapporo, Japan. Vocaloid Male Singer for Crypton Industry: "To have someone send me flowers, candy, and lingerie."
Yowane Haku: Sapporo, Japan. Voyakiloid Female Singer, Independent: "Call in sick, sleep late, and get liquored up at Jimmy's."
Police/Fire/Medical Emergency Reports
Magnet City
× Edgeview Drive: Several items worth ¥25,000 reported stolen from a home in the 700 block the evening of Dec. 22.
× Newport Center Road: A yellow and black cellphone worth ¥345 stolen from a purse in the 900 block at 8 p.m. Dec. 18.
× Narcissus Avenue: A mirror worth ¥100 was stolen from a garage in the 700 block between 1 and 5 p.m. Dec. 22.
Mikuo was cracking up. Len, having boiled up some tea for the morning, wanders into the living room.
"Hey honey, what's so funny?"
Stifling his laughs, but failing to do so, he hands this week's coupon ads from local supermarkets around Sapporo. This is what Len read:
SAVE GENERATION Zel!
¥3 for a 1L Generation Zel-brand Ass Pickles
Theft Report: A Cherry Farm has 20 acres of all its trees picked clean of all ripen cherries. Security never caught the culprit.
EGGPLANT INJURIES
Facial Sears
Disfigurements
Accidents
Injuries
=-=-=-=- CALL TODAY -=-=-=-=
Kamui Gakupo 281-(Censored)
100 Crypton Lane Sapporo, JP
FREE CONSULTATION
HOME & HOSPITAL VISITS
REMEMBER: The VGD Police Dept. Slogan
"We'll kick your ass!"
POLICE BLOTTER: 12:12 AM. Road Roller machinery reported missing from local construction firm. An old model from the late 1990s stands in place of the missing item in question, which was a recent-released model of a new brand of water-emission Road Roller machinery that reduces the productions of air pollutions.
CANDY, FROM last Halloween, tastes weird, but looks okay. Cheap. 666-666-6666
A/N: Phone Number may direct you to Satan's Front Desk. Do not try this number.
New Yaoi Craze Strikes Sapporo
New teen singing sensation Utatane Piko (Age 16) was discovered to be in a committed relationship with veteran teen singer Kagamine Len (Age 18). The two young singers were on the beach, enjoying the sun's rays and the crisp air and sounds of the ocean, when Veteran J-Pop Bloggers VocalRaynbow and Lovely Orange discover the two teens hidden behind some nearby bushes and trees, in what they called a "hot yaoi situation".
Crypton News Reporters decline to explain what we have been told for fear of many female and some male readers having orgasms over the adult descriptions of what the two J-Pop Bloggers explained to us.
POLICE BLOTTER: 3:35 AM. A woman in the 1700 block of West Main reported her octopus had verbally told her a man was in her yard.
"Hey Rin! You're flat-chested right?" her twin brother asked one day on a school weekend.
"Bite me," Rin replied, as she was busy doing her math homework.
Len chuckled, and tossed an ad on her desk. "You can go here if you need something."
USED BOOB SALE
WHERE: Tokyo Mall
WHEN: Fri & Sat, Sept 9 & 10
10am-9pm, Sunday 12-5pm
WHAT: 20 plus categories.
Many in fine shape.
Come see and enjoy.
"Len!" she yelled, as she heard her brother's chuckling. She tossed a shoe which struck him in the head.
I know that there is less than there are from the last Blotter, but I'm unable to find anything funny to alter with a Vocaloid twist. Other than the very top blotter add-in: that one was real... and it made me think when I saw it in my papers that day, Luka went yandere at my favorite Wal-Mart store?
REVIEW ANYWAY, PLEASE! XD