Rachel had taken to having dinner with Severus and then spending some of the evening in his quarters every other day while it was the Christmas holiday. She didn't want him to be alone at the holidays especially because she wasn't seeing him in class twice a week.
"Oh, I finished Jane Eyre, it's in my bag," Rachel said as they were finishing dinner two days after Christmas.
"What did you think of it?" Severus asked.
"I think it's a tragedy," Rachel said. "I have no idea how my mom thought it was romantic."
Severus nodded. "I had a somewhat similar reaction, though in the words of my younger self, it's a horror story with pretensions of romance."
"I just don't know why Jane went back for him, or why she felt she had to marry anyone at all. She had quite a bit of money in the end, she could have done what she wanted with her life. But she didn't seem to want much, really. I don't think Rochester really cared for her," Rachel said.
"Perhaps," Severus said. "Love is a difficult thing to understand. It often makes people act in ways they might otherwise not. Are you planning to return to your friends for the evening?"
"Not right away, unless you have other things to do," Rachel said.
"I don't, I was just planning to read," Severus said.
"I have a book with me," Rachel said. She'd already done all of the homework that had been assigned over the break.
"Did you want dessert?" Severus asked.
"Not tonight. I had a snack in the afternoon," Rachel said. They'd continued to get holiday treats from the kitchen to have in their study room. She wondered how many other people knew how to get into the kitchens. At least some of the upper year Slytherins did as there was always food in the common room when they held parties.
She put Jane Eyre back on the shelf and then got the new Horath Bogtrotter book out of her bag. She'd already started reading it earlier in the afternoon and was eager to see where it was going. Severus had settled into his armchair and had a book open on his lap and a piece of parchment where he seemed to be taking notes.
"What are you reading?" she asked.
"Albus gave me this for Christmas. It's a translated book from Japan that discusses their methods for brewing potions. If I'm not mistaken, this is probably the only translated copy," Severus explained.
"They have different methods of brewing potions in different places?" Rachel asked.
"The fundamentals are the same, but the way they approach balancing ingredients and interaction properties is different," he said. "If you're interested in inventing your own potions, it may be something to look into at a later date. However, before you invent potions you must first learn how to modify potions, which is something we'll go into more detail in while you're in your NEWT classes."
Rachel nodded. Inventing your own potions did sound complicated.
She began to read again and remembered where she'd left off. Horath had cornered his uncle in an old manor where he'd been hiding and Horath and his mentor Pierce Frigand had put up anti-apparation wards to keep him from escaping. Since she was only a third of the way through the book she knew they wouldn't catch Horath's uncle yet, but she was curious how he'd escape this time.
They made their way through the manor and thought they'd found Horath's uncle, but it turned out to be that boggarts turned into Horath's uncle for Horath. Pierce told him that they'd talk about that later, but they had a job to do. They found a hidden trap door and descended into a labyrinth beneath the manor. And as they rounded a corner someone shouted "Avada kedavra!" and there was a flash of green light. Pierce fell to the floor and Horath dropped down beside him, shaking Pierce's body. There was the sound of footsteps as Horath's uncle ran away.
"Oh no," Rachel said to herself. She didn't want Pierce to be dead. He was like a father to Horath.
"What's wrong?" Severus asked.
"The dark wizard killed Pierce," Rachel said, looking up from her book.
"I haven't read the series, so I don't know who that is," Severus said.
"Horath's mentor, he guided Horath when he first started in the aurors and protected him. He's kind of like Horath's father because Horath didn't know his father when he was growing up," Rachel said.
"I see. Perhaps the author felt that Horath needed to be able to act on his own, without mentorship," Severus said.
"Maybe. But it's a bit grim for a children's book, don't you think?" Rachel asked.
"Not necessarily. Many children's books deal with death in one way or another. And, in our world, practically every child around your age has had relatives or close family friends die in the war," Severus said.
"Every child?" Rachel asked skeptically.
"Nearly three thousand witches and wizards died in the war against the Dark Lord, most of them in the last four years of the war," Severus said.
Rachel thought back to what he had told her about the wizarding population of Britain. "That's nearly a tenth of the entire population." She hadn't realized things had been that bad.
"Close, around one in nine people died, not counting the muggles who died as we had little way to keep track of that," Severus said.
"Ginny said her uncles died in the war," Rachel said.
"Yes, they were in the Order, Molly Weasley's brothers. Fabian and Gideon, I believe," Severus said.
Rachel tapped her fingers against the book. "Then maybe the author shouldn't have had Pierce die. Wouldn't that just make people reading it who do know people who have died sad?"
"Maybe, but sharing grief can be important. Seeing other people manage their grief can be helpful for some people," Severus said.
"Is it weird that I don't really think of my parents as being dead, sometimes?" Rachel asked.
"What do you mean?" Severus asked, putting down his quill.
Rachel thought about how to put it into words. "I think about them, and I imagine what they might say to me at different times, or how they might react to something. Is that weird?"
"Not at all. I still think of Lily quite often. We carry those who have passed with us and there's nothing wrong with that," Severus said.
Rachel nodded. She was glad it wasn't weird. "Do you think the Horath Bogtrotter books are propaganda as well?" Rachel asked. The question had been bothering her since Theo had suggested it.
"I've heard as much, but I haven't read them so I don't know. I'm a little surprised that you think that," Severus said. "I was under the impression you enjoyed them."
"I do enjoy them. Theo is the one who suggested they might be propaganda, and his father thinks they are because they portray aurors and the Ministry in a good way," she explained.
"Ah. Ignatius does have a bit of a grudge against the aurors. He came very close to being killed by them and only escaped the Fiendfyre by a matter of chance and good luck," Severus said. "I think it's important to keep in mind that the way the aurors and the Ministry is portrayed in the books is likely simplistic at best and outright fantasy at worst. Most auror work is in investigations, not in thrilling chase scenes, and I believe you already understand some of the flaws in the Ministry's system of justice."
"Yeah, I know. I never believed that was how being an auror would be, but I suppose if the children reading the books are young enough they might not know the difference," Rachel said.
"That's likely true, though most people gain a more nuanced understanding about the Ministry as they grow older and interact with it," Severus said. "I don't think you need to worry about it being propaganda or unduly influencing you."
"That's good," Rachel said.
She kind of didn't want to finish reading the book now that Pierce was dead, but she supposed she needed to find out what happened. Bracing herself for Horath's grief, Rachel returned to her book.
"Oh please," Millie said as she plunked down the copy of the Daily Prophet. "What is Rita Skeeter's problem with you?"
Rachel just shook her head and avoided looking at the paper. As usual the article had not been very flattering toward her, saying that she was messing with boys' hearts because she danced with so many of them at the Yule Ball. In Rita Skeeter's words, Rachel had 'little to no concern about the broken hearts she left behind on the dance floor and clearly enjoys toying with the affections of every available boy at Hogwarts'. Rachel was beginning to have little to no concern about just hexing Rita Skeeter and being done with it.
"At least the picture wasn't of us, my father would not have taken that well," Theo said quietly.
"Is he going to be upset about the article?" Rachel asked, taking another look at the picture. It was of her and Cedric dancing, her having to reach up to put her hand on his upper arm because of their height difference.
"I'm not sure. I'll have to write him a letter and clear this up somehow," Theo said.
"Would it help to have Professor Snape write a letter too?" Rachel asked.
"I don't know yet. I need to figure out what he thinks about it before I do more than just write an explanation. Fortunately I danced with Pansy and Daphne, so that will help some when I explain that we danced with friends," Theo said. "And I think he'll understand that it would have been impolite for me not to dance with other girls when asked."
"Would it help to tell him that Rita Skeeter clearly has some issue with Rachel?" Millie asked.
Theo frowned as he seemed to consider it. "I can say that what Rita Skeeter reports doesn't match up with what I see at Hogwarts. I can't flatter you too much Rachel, but I can say that Professor Snape clearly taught you to politely accept when boys asked you to dance and that you weren't seeking them out."
Rachel nodded, unhappy that Rita Skeeter had potentially made the situation with Theo's father worse. "Well, if you do want Professor Snape to do something you can ask me if you want to. I'm sure he'll want to help you."
"Thanks," Theo said. "Does it make sense to go to Professor Dumbledore and ask him to do something about Rita Skeeter?"
"I don't know what he can do that Professor Snape can't," Rachel said after considering it for a moment.
"People like Professor Dumbledore, they'll listen when he says something. Maybe he can't stop Rita Skeeter, but maybe he could write something about you so that people will understand that Rita Skeeter is wrong," Millie suggested.
"I don't know Professor Dumbledore very well. I'm not sure what he'd say about me," Rachel said.
"I think it's worth asking at least. We can't keep sitting here and letting them do this to you," Theo said.
"Could be worse," Rachel said, thinking back to the article Rita had written about Leander.
"But we want to stop it before it gets worse. If Professor Dumbledore can sway public opinion, Skeeter's articles won't be so popular and she'll stop writing them," Theo said.
Rachel sighed. "I'll ask Professor Snape and see what he thinks. If he thinks it's a good idea, he can bring it up with Professor Dumbledore."
"That woman," Hermione said, approaching the Slytherin table with her arms folded and the rest of the study group behind her. "First of all, how did they get that picture?"
Rachel sighed again. "Let's do this in the study room instead of the Great Hall," she said, pushing away her plate. She didn't feel much like eating anyway.
"I saw several people with cameras," Ginny said as they got up to join their friends.
"I don't suppose you happen to remember any names?" Theo asked.
"No, they were mostly upper years. Colin had his camera, but I can't imagine he would have sold his pictures to the Daily Prophet," Ginny said.
"I don't think he would have either. He told me he believed me, about not entering my name in the Goblet, back before the first task even," Rachel said.
"Fergus Cowley has a camera, but I don't know if he brought it with him to the ball. He probably would have been willing to sell photos of you," Theo said.
"Most of the articles have had photos of me, even before this year, but I've never seen anyone taking them," Rachel said, frowning as they started up the staircase.
"The article also had a list of the people you danced with, so it's not just photos, they were watching you," Neville said.
Rachel shuddered. She didn't like that idea at all. She supposed it would have been easy enough, there were plenty of people there, but if they were watching her in the Great Hall, where else were they watching her?
"They didn't mention me," Luna said.
"What do you mean?" Millie asked.
"I danced with Rachel but the article didn't mention me, just the boys," Luna said.
"Didn't fit her theme of Rachel leading on boys, I suspect," Hermione said. "If they'd included you it would be more obvious that she was dancing with her friends. The real question is, what can we do about it? I don't think we can sue for libel, the basic premise of the article was factual, if not her conclusions. I suppose we could get a bunch of people to write letters of complaint to the Daily Prophet."
"We were thinking maybe Professor Dumbledore could write something about Rachel, sway public opinion. It won't stop Skeeter from writing about her, but maybe she'll write nicer things if she thinks that's what people want," Theo said.
"I wish we could just ask people to stop writing about Rachel. They shouldn't be doing it," Neville said.
"No they shouldn't be, but they are so we have to deal with it somehow. I like your idea, Theo," Hermione said. "Do any of you think your parents would be willing to write to the Daily Prophet to complain?"
"My mom might," Ginny said. "I could write and ask her."
"Daddy might be willing to publish something in the Quibbler about it, saying that Rita Skeeter is trying to go after Rachel because of her history," Luna said.
"My mom won't, but I might be able to ask my dad if he would," Millie said.
"I can't ask my Gran, sorry. It's… I think she'd take it the wrong way at the moment," Neville said.
Rachel glanced at Neville. Was his Gran still pressuring him about the whole marriage contract business? She hoped not.
"Obviously my father is out, but Rachel, you'll ask Professor Snape about Professor Dumbledore, right?" Theo asked.
"I will and I'll ask if he has any other ideas for how to deal with Rita Skeeter," Rachel said, hoping the conversation was done as they reached their study room.
"Good," Hermione said. "That's a start at least. Hopefully we can make some progress by the second task. Speaking of the second task, Rachel did you wind up getting some Gillyweed?"
"Yes, Professor Snape gave me some, it's in my wardrobe. He gave me two pieces to practice on and he says that he has more he can give me," Rachel said.
"I think we'll want to practice at least twice, depending on how it goes. I was thinking we could go to the prefect's bathroom tomorrow morning after breakfast, since it's unlikely the prefects would want a bath after breakfast," Hermione said.
Rachel nodded. It was probably time to start preparing. She had just under two months left now. "Okay. We can do that."
"Do you want us to go with you?" Theo asked.
"I'd like to see how the Gillyweed works," Neville said
Rachel glanced at Hermione, but it was Millie who spoke.
"Actually, no. None of us have swimsuits so we're basically in wet short pajamas as we do this," Millie said.
Neville blushed a bright red.
"We didn't mean it like that," Theo said.
"We know," Hermione said quickly. "But I think this one is just going to have to be a girls only practice."
"Neville, if I have Gillyweed left over when this is all done I'll give you a piece and you can try it out," Rachel offered.
"Thanks," Neville said, though his blush hadn't faded.
"Okay, practicing tomorrow. Now, has everyone finished the latest Horath book?" Ginny asked.
"No, don't tell me," Theo said quickly. "I just started reading the first one."
"Do you like it? Should I read them?" Neville asked.
"It's okay so far, but I'm pretty sure they're just making up stuff when it comes to being an auror," Theo said.
"They're children's books, they're not supposed to describe what it's like to be an auror," Hermione said.
"You can borrow mine, Neville, I'll go get it at dinner," Millie said.
"Are there any creatures in them?" Luna asked.
"No, not really. Horath has an owl named Artemis though," Rachel said.
"I don't really think they're the right books for me then," Luna said.
"That's okay, no one has to read them. And we'll wait to discuss the new one until everyone who wants to read them has had the chance," Hermione said.
Rachel was kind of glad about that. It had been a little bit depressing reading about Horath using a time turner and trying to save his mentor and failing every time.
"Does anyone want to play some Gobstones or Exploding Snap?" Millie asked.
"Sure," Rachel said. They were on break, they could do fun things like that for a little while at least.
"Wow," Ginny said as she looked around the prefect's bathroom. "It would almost be worth becoming a prefect just for this."
Rachel set down her bag and took a steadying breath, reminding herself that she'd been in this room just a few weeks ago and it had been fine. It didn't feel fine.
"There's a lot of responsibilities that come with being a prefect," Hermione said.
"Which is why I said it would almost be worth it. Besides, I bet you'll let us come in here with you when you're a prefect," Ginny said.
"Do you really think they'll make me a prefect?" Hermione asked, looking worried.
"You're first in our year, they'd be crazy not to," Millie said. "Are you all okay if I don't come in again? I can guard the door."
"That's fine. Do you not know how to swim, Millie?" Hermione asked.
"I know how, I just don't like doing it. I don't like getting water on my face," Millie said.
Luna had gone up to the mermaid painting and was examining it.
Rachel looked away. "Ginny, Luna, why don't you turn on some of the taps and Hermione and I will get changed?"
"Why are there so many taps?" Ginny asked.
"They all do different things, different bubbles and such. Try not to leave on any of the perfumed ones," Hermione said, setting down her own bag.
Rachel turned her back and changed into her shorts, leaving her t-shirt on. She turned and watched as Ginny and Luna went from tap to tap, laughing at some of them and scooping up bubbles with their hands.
"Are you okay?" Millie asked quietly.
Rachel noticed that Hermione, also in shorts and a t-shirt now, was also watching her with a pensive expression. "I'm alright. Let's just do this."
"Okay, but if you want to leave, just tell us and we will," Hermione said.
"Thanks," Rachel said. She wouldn't need to leave, she just needed to do this and get it over with.
There was a short shriek and then the sound of splashing water and they all hurried over to the pool.
"Are you hurt?" Millie asked.
Luna stood up, the water coming up to her chest. "I'm fine. I was going to come in anyway."
"But you're still fully dressed," Hermione said.
"I can just use a drying charm when we're done," Luna said, seemingly unbothered.
"At least pass us up your shoes," Rachel said.
Luna disappeared under the bubbles and the water and came back out holding her shoes and socks. "Good idea. It feels better barefoot."
Millie knelt down and took Luna's shoes and socks, casting a drying charm on them before setting them aside.
"So I think we should practice just swimming in the water first, and then with the Bubble-Head charm, and then finally with the Gillyweed," Hermione said.
"Okay," Rachel said. It sounded like a lot, but it was important to try both to see what the advantages of each were.
"I think we can turn most of the taps off now," Luna said from where she was floating on her back.
Rachel joined Hermione in going around the pool and turning off the taps while Ginny changed.
Ginny jumped into the water with a splash, narrowly avoiding Luna. "I've never swam in warm water before, it's weird," she said after surfacing and pushing her hair away from her face.
"It is a little weird," Hermione agreed. "Ready to go in?"
"Sure," Rachel said. She sat down on the edge with her feet dangling in and reminded herself once again that it would be fine. Her chest hurt, though not as badly as it had the last time, and she eased herself down into the water.
Hermione slid in next to her and turned to face her. "So I think the first lesson with swimming is learning how to float. It's fairly simple, but it's good to be able to do it when you need to."
Rachel immediately felt cold despite the warm water. "I don't want to do that. He tried to teach me that," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.
Hermione's face scrunched up as if she was in pain.
"What about treading water instead? I think it's more likely she'll need that in the lake instead of floating," Millie suggested from where she was sitting next to the pool.
"Will that work?" Hermione asked.
"I think so," Rachel said.
"Alright. So this is pretty simple too, but it takes more energy than floating. With your arms you're going to move them back and forth horizontally, and then you're going to move your legs like you're pedaling a bicycle," Hermione said.
Rachel had never ridden a bicycle either but she thought she had the basic idea.
Hermione pushed herself away from the edge of the pool and began to bob up and down slightly in the water but mostly stayed in one place, with her head tilted slightly back. "I'll be right here to pull you to the side if you're struggling," she said.
Deciding that the only way to see if she could do it was to try, Rachel pushed herself a little bit away from the side of the pool and immediately began sinking and thrashing around as she tried to make her limbs cooperate. She felt Hermione grab her by the arm and a moment later her hand was on the side again.
Rachel sputtered and used her free hand to wipe the bubbles from her face.
"Okay, maybe we need to take that a little slower," Hermione said. "For now, hold onto the side and just try to pedal your legs."
"When my dad taught me, he held me up in the water and had me practice kicking my legs, but I think this might be too deep for any of us to do that," Ginny said.
"Or we could use a Flotation charm, that's what my mom used on me when I was learning," Luna said.
"I don't suppose anyone here knows the incantation for the Flotation charm?" Hermione asked.
Everyone shook their heads.
"Something to look up in the library. We'll have to make do for now," Hermione said.
"Well Rachel isn't going to be doing much swimming on the surface, maybe we should just cast the Bubble-Head charm and let her practice under the water," Millie suggested.
"And treading water might be easier with the Bubble-Head charm as well, you don't have to worry about breathing when you have that, you can just focus on what your body is doing," Hermione said. She pulled herself out of the water. "Rachel is your wand with your clothes?"
"Yes, can you bring the tether too? It's in my bag," Rachel said.
"Millie, could you get us our wands?" Luna asked.
"Sure," Millie said. "You okay here for a moment?"
"I'm okay, I'm holding onto the side," Rachel said.
"And we won't let her drown," Ginny said.
"Here, I've attached the tether to the handle of your wand. Do you want it on your right wrist?" Hermione asked.
"Yes, thanks," Rachel said, accepting her wand and letting Hermione attach the tether around her wrist next to her silver bracelet. She brought her wand up to her mouth. "Capubulla."
The sensation was a little strange. She could feel a slight pressure around her head. Experimentally she brought her hand up and found that it stopped about an inch from her face.
"How does it feel?" Luna asked as she took her wand from Millie.
"A little weird, but not bad. Let's see if it works with water," Rachel said. She took a deep breath, even though if this worked she wouldn't need to, and used her left hand to push herself down into the water. The water stayed at the edge of the bubble and she found she could still breathe easily. "It works. You might be able to swim with this Millie, if the water being on your face is a problem. It's not even touching my face."
"Maybe. Not this time though, one of us should be out here to block the door if someone tries to come in," Millie said.
"Good idea," Hermione said. She cast the charm on herself and came back into the water. "It's almost like scuba diving. I wonder how long the air will last."
"Sounds like something we should look up, we need it to last at least an hour," Ginny said.
"And I'd be more comfortable if we had a larger margin on that anyway, just in case," Hermione said. "Okay, feel like you want to try treading water again now that you know you can breathe?"
"Okay," Rachel said. She pushed herself away from the wall once again and immediately began sinking as she struggled to keep her head above the water.
Hermione grabbed onto her shoulders. "Here, don't kick, it's like a bicycle. Each foot is moving in a circle."
"Let yourself sink for a moment and watch me do it underwater," Ginny said after a few moments.
Rachel stopped with a small amount of relief and allowed herself to sink to the bottom. She found Luna under the water as well, sitting on the bottom of the pool. After watching Ginny's movements she thought she understood a little better what she was supposed to do with her arms. Now the problem became how did she get back up to the surface. "How do I get back up?" she called.
"Like this," Luna said. She moved into a crouch and then pushed herself up with her legs while moving her arms like she was separating the water from above her head.
Rachel allowed herself to sink down into a crouch and then pushed herself up like Luna had, managing to briefly breach the surface before she started sinking again.
"I've got you," Hermione said, grabbing onto Rachel's arm and towing her back to the side of the pool. "Okay, teaching someone how to swim is a little more difficult than I expected it to be."
"Sorry," Rachel said.
"No, it's not your fault. It's just I haven't had swimming lessons since I was little and I don't really remember how they were taught," Hermione said.
"Well you seem to be able to get down under the water pretty well now that you have the Bubble-Head charm. Maybe spend some time working on moving around while you're underwater since that's mostly what you'll be doing in the lake," Millie suggested.
"That seems reasonable," Hermione said. "And with the Bubble-Head charm you can actually see what we're doing. And of course we should try a few spells to see if there's an advantage to the Bubble-Head charm over Gillyweed."
"I'd start with that. We can't stay in here forever and Rachel can practice the swimming part with the Gillyweed. We have to wait for the effects to wear off before she can get out of the water and that will take a while," Millie said.
"Good point. Let's try a few spells and see what happens. However, let's all be on the same side of the pool for this part so no one gets hit with anything," Hermione said.
Rachel let herself sink again and managed to slowly walk over to the end of the pool where Hermione, Ginny, and Luna were gathered.
"Let's start with disarming, then banishing, then stunning," Hermione said.
"Maybe the Unlocking charm too, in case they have to get the item out of somewhere?" Luna suggested.
"And maybe the Revulsion jinx too, in case she comes across any grindylows," Ginny said.
"Yes, good ideas. Alright, Disarming charm on three. One, two, three," Hermione said.
"Expelliarmus," they said in unison, the water rippling as the red light from their charms shot through it.
"Seems to work alright, let's keep going," Hermione said.
The other spells seemed to work well enough, though they couldn't know for sure if their Stunning spells and Unlocking charms would really do what they were supposed to without actually using them on someone or something.
"Ready to try the Gillyweed and then we can focus on swimming underwater?" Hermione asked.
"Okay," Rachel said. She crouched again and managed to get up to the surface, but she wasn't close enough to the edge to grab on. She flailed about in the water, feeling stupid, and then Luna grabbed her and pulled her to the edge. "Thanks."
"Of course. It must be hard to swim when you've never done it before," Luna said. "I don't really remember not being able to swim."
"Well my relatives probably hoped that I would drown so they never bothered with getting me lessons," Rachel said, frowning. This task would be easier if she had already known how to swim. She was relatively sure Cedric and the others knew how to swim. It seemed most people did.
"Your relatives seem like very hateful people," Luna said. "I'm glad you don't live with them anymore."
"Me too. Millie, could you bring me the container of Gillyweed that's in my bag?" Rachel said. "Finite incantatem."
"Here you go. I have to say this looks pretty gross. Are you sure you don't want to stick with the Bubble-Head charm?" Millie asked as she brought the jar over to Rachel.
"Well, if it's really bad we'll just go with the Bubble-Head charm. But I should at least find out if it will give me an advantage," Rachel said. She watched as Millie took it out of the jar. It did look rather disgusting. "Do you think I'm supposed to chew it or swallow it whole?"
"I'd chew it," Ginny said. "You don't want to choke.
Only one way to find out. Rachel took the slimy green ball from Millie and put it in her mouth. It was rubbery but it didn't taste that bad. She worked on chewing it for a little bit and then swallowed. "Okay, not terrible, but not something I'd want to do every day either."
"Do you feel any different?" Luna asked.
"No," Rachel said. "Maybe it doesn't work right away."
"Something good to know before the task at least," Hermione said from where she was treading water a little ways away.
All of the sudden Rachel felt like she couldn't breathe. She was sucking in air with her mouth but it wasn't doing any good.
"Underwater, quick!" Hermione said.
Rachel shoved herself under the water and was immediately relieved that she could breathe again, even though she wasn't doing it with her mouth. For some reason the water now felt almost hot, but it was bearable.
"You have gills," Luna said, still in her Bubble-head charm.
Rachel was about to feel the sides of her neck when she noticed that her fingers now had webbing in between them. She flexed her hands but they didn't hurt and she could still grip her wand alright.
"How does it feel?" Hermione asked.
"Weird," Rachel tried to say, but only a soundless bubble of water came out.
"Well that's a drawback," Ginny said. "Try casting a spell."
Rachel waited until Hermione moved out of the way to cast the Disarming charm again. The scarlet light and the ripple of water came just as before, even though she wasn't making any sounds.
"That's good at least," Hermione said. "Let's start with some basic underwater strokes so you can get from place to place."
Rachel nodded and got ready to swim. At the very least she wouldn't drown.
"How was your Christmas break?" Torey asked once Rachel had settled in on the couch.
"It was good. It was nice to have all of my friends with me at Hogwarts, we got to spend a lot of time together. I made sure to spend time with Severus too though, I didn't want him to feel lonely," Rachel said.
"That was kind of you, I'm sure he appreciated you being there. Did you enjoy the Yule Ball?" Torey asked.
"I assume you saw the article in the Daily Prophet?" Rachel asked.
"I did, though I know well enough not to take anything Rita Skeeter writes seriously," Torey said.
"I hope other people know not to take it seriously too," Rachel said. "It kind of worries me that there are photos with the articles. I never see anyone taking them."
Torey frowned. "If I'm remembering correctly, it seemed most of the other photos I've seen of you in the Daily Prophet, with the exception of the one with you and the other tournament champions, were taken from a distance. Likely whoever is taking them doesn't want you to know they're taking the photos. Perhaps they're even using a Disillusionment charm. I would imagine that the Daily Prophet is paying them for their photos."
Rachel didn't like that any better. "It pretty much has to be another student, I can't imagine any of the professors would do it. I suppose it doesn't really matter, but I'm not really comfortable with it."
"That's understandable. Has Severus talked to you about doing anything about the situation with the Daily Prophet and Rita Skeeter?" Torey asked.
"It's not exactly libel, so there's not a lot we can do legally, or at least that's what Severus says. Hermione talked to our friends and is going to see if their parents can write a letter to the Daily Prophet complaining, and I'm going to ask Severus to ask if Professor Dumbledore would maybe say something that might change people's minds about me and then Rita Skeeter would at least have to change what she's writing about me if she wants to stay popular," Rachel explained.
"Those are good ideas. Unfortunately I'm not sure if anything can legally be done about it. Like you said, it's not exactly libel," Torey said. "How was the ball itself? I know you were nervous about dancing."
"The ball was fun. I was nervous during the opening dance, but Theo got me through it, and then I danced with a bunch of my friends and it was fine," Rachel said. "I wouldn't want to do it all the time, but maybe every once in a while will be alright."
"I'm glad it was fun. And things went well with Theo?" Torey asked.
"Yes, we just went as friends," Rachel said. Why was everyone worried about her dating Theo? They were just friends.
"It's nice that he asked you to go with him then. What else has been happening for you these past two weeks?" Torey asked.
Rachel hesitated. She knew she should talk about this with Torey, but at the same time she felt weird bringing it up. "I've been having nightmares again."
"The same ones you were having before or different?" Torey asked.
"Different than the ones I usually have, but I've had them before. They're about the prefect's bathroom," Rachel said.
"Do you have any ideas about what brought about the change?" Torey asked.
"We've been going in the prefect's bathroom to prepare for the second task. We've been practicing with Gilllyweed and the Bubble-Head charm, and practicing casting spells underwater too," Rachel said.
Torey nodded. "How does going in there feel?"
"It was the hardest the first time. Now, it's not so bad except at first. Once we get busy practicing I'm too distracted, but at first it feels like my chest is being squeezed and my throat hurts," Rachel said. "I keep dreaming about the stupid mermaid painting and it's watching me. I try not to look at it while I'm in there."
"You've never told me about what happened in the prefect's bathroom," Torey said, her tone gentle.
"Really? But, I mean, you know, don't you?" Rachel asked.
"I know in general terms, but you haven't talked to me about it," Torey said. "Is that something you feel like you're ready to do?"
Rachel shrugged. She didn't really, but she knew she was supposed to. "There isn't a lot to say. Leander took me up to the prefect's bathroom with him one evening when I was sitting by myself in the common room. He said that prefects reward good students. I didn't know not to go with him, I thought I was supposed to do what the prefects said to do."
"He was an authority figure and you were raised to obey authority figures without questioning them," Torey said.
"I guess. I didn't know what he wanted. So I went with him to the prefect's bathroom, and he let me play with the taps for a while until the pool was full and then said that we were going swimming. I told him I didn't know how to swim, but he transfigured my underclothes into a swimming suit and pointed his wand at me and told me to take off my clothes. So I did and we went in the pool and he tried to teach me how to float but I couldn't do it," Rachel continued.
Torey nodded when Rachel didn't continue. "I imagine you felt frightened or maybe confused."
Rachel tried to remember. "Not really, I don't think so. After he told me to take off my clothes I kind of knew what he wanted. I just didn't know what to do about it. He held me up in the water, because it was too deep for me to stand. And then he took my hand and brought it inside his trunks and kept his hand tight around mine while I touched him. And he kissed me. I kept trying to go to my nowhere place, but I couldn't get there. And the mermaid painting was there, but she was asleep. I don't know why I keep dreaming about it."
"What happened after that?" Torey asked.
"After he was finished, we got out of the pool and got dressed again and went back down to the Slytherin common room. The next day I wrote a note to Severus telling him what had happened, because both of you had told me to tell you if something like that happened," Rachel finished. She reached up and rubbed at her throat. It had started burning about halfway through and it felt like she wasn't able to draw a full breath.
"Thank you for telling me," Torey said. "When you dream about the mermaid painting, is there an emotion that accompanies the dream?"
"Fear, I guess. Maybe dread," Rachel said after a moment. "Like, she's watching me and something bad is going to happen. And I can't do anything about it. I can't leave and I don't have my wand. I just have to sit there and wait for it to happen."
"That sounds common to a number of experiences you've had," Torey said.
Rachel thought about it. That did sound a lot like when she was being taken to the hotel when she was younger too. "I don't know why it bothers me. What happened in the prefect's bathroom wasn't that bad. I've been through plenty worse."
"The individual acts of trauma don't determine how badly it affects us. Just because it was different from some of the things you've experienced, doesn't mean it wasn't a trauma and doesn't mean that it won't affect you. Leander violated you. It makes sense that you'd have a reaction to that violation," Torey explained.
"At the time I was mostly just relieved that something worse didn't happen, and I wrote the note to Severus because I thought he would be upset if it happened again and I hadn't told him," Rachel said, shifting on the couch. Her muscles hurt from how tight she was holding her body.
"It may surprise you to know that relief that something else didn't happen is a relatively common reaction among people who have been sexually assaulted. And I'm very glad that you told Severus when you did," Torey said.
Rachel looked down at her lap and rang her fingers along the lines of her corduroys. "I almost wish I hadn't."
"Why's that?" Torey asked.
"I didn't realize it was going to cause a whole thing. I thought Severus was just going to talk to Leander and tell him not to do it again," Rachel said. "And now he's being tortured in Azkaban and he's there because I told Severus."
"No. Leander is in Azkaban because of the choices he made. He chose to assault you and those other girls. What happened isn't your fault, and Leander being in Azkaban isn't your fault," Torey said.
"But if I hadn't told, he wouldn't be there," Rachel said.
"Maybe not, but the other girls he hurt may have felt safe to tell someone once he left Hogwarts, and then the same thing would have resulted. And in the meantime he would have been free to hurt you and other children," Torey said. "I don't agree with Azkaban as an institution either, I think it's inhumane. But it is worse to leave someone free who will continue to hurt people."
"Couldn't they do something else? Aren't there spells or potions that could have stopped him from doing that to someone else?" Rachel asked.
Torey shook her head. "Not that I'm aware of, not unless it's something like keeping him under the Imperius curse. There are potions that cause sterility and potions that cause a lack of libido, but neither of those address the real causes behind that sort of abuse. Misplaced attraction is part of it, but plenty of people feel attraction without acting on it. A lot of it is about having power over someone else and forcing them to do what brings that person satisfaction. For some people it's even about causing another person pain."
"Why are people like that? I can't imagine feeling that way toward another person," Rachel said.
"That's a hard question and I'm not really sure there is an answer. There are lots of theories about childhood development and personality disorders and brain chemistry and structures, but the real answer is that we don't know yet. Maybe someday we'll understand enough about how humans work that we will know," Torey said.
"Leander seemed okay though. He was usually nice to me and he was nice to the other Slytherins I saw him around. He wasn't like my aunt and uncle at all," Rachel said.
"How do you think people outside your family saw your aunt and uncle?" Torey asked.
Rachel thought about it and tried to remember. "I think they saw them as normal. The neighbors never seemed to notice anything weird. And they talked like normal to our teachers."
Torey nodded. "Do you think any of them suspected you were being abused?"
"I don't think so," Rachel said quickly. She really didn't like the idea that someone had known and had chosen not to help her. It was better if they hadn't known at all.
"Leander had to be nice to people if he wanted them to trust him, just like your aunt and uncle were nice to their neighbors and nice to your teachers. They want to make sure they seem as trustworthy as possible so that people will believe them and not believe the people that they're hurting. People outside of the family who sexually abuse children are often known for being kind and loving people," Torey explained.
"Then how can you possibly know if someone is nice or if they're being nice because they want to be seen as nice so they can hurt people?" Rachel asked.
"Time and using your instincts. Listen to yourself and how you feel about people. And know that you won't always be able to tell when someone has an ulterior motive," Torey said.
Rachel frowned. If Severus had been a spy this long she supposed it really wasn't possible to know about people. She'd just have to be careful.
"Thank you for talking about this with me today. You might notice an increase in your nightmares for a few days, but I think this is good progress," Torey said.
"Okay," Rachel said. She didn't know if it was progress or not. She felt a little bit sick.
"Please let Severus know if you feel the need to see me earlier than Saturday and we'll arrange something," Torey said.
Rachel nodded. She'd be fine. She just needed a little bit.