Severus sat in his armchair on a late Sunday afternoon in mid-March, a letter in his hand as he tried to decide what to do.
He'd received the letter two days ago, the redirection spell he'd placed on the muggle address ensuring it was delivered to Hogwarts. It had been a surprise to receive a letter from Tim Walker, the muggle detective he'd worked with last spring to bring in the men who were operating the child sex trafficking ring that Rachel had been subjected to. In retrospect, the news wasn't surprising, it had been over a year since the investigation had begun, and it was now time for the men involved to face trial.
He intended to go to the trials, at Tim's invitation, but what he hadn't decided was what to tell Rachel. She had reacted poorly to learning that he had been involved last year in the detective's work to arrest the men responsible, and that he had been the catalyst for the investigation. At Torey's recommendation, he had offered to let Rachel ask questions about the investigation, but she had never brought up the subject again.
Part of him believed that she should know and that she should have the opportunity to witness the people who hurt her being brought to justice. She deserved to have some sort of closure and reassurance that she was safe from those men. The rest of him worried about the timing. Rachel had enough to worry about with the Triwizard Tournament without him raising the subject.
If he'd been thinking more clearly about the whole thing he would have asked Torey yesterday after Rachel's appointment, but the idea hadn't occurred to him until later.
He was still thinking over his options when Rachel came through the permeable wall with her school bag slung over one shoulder.
"Draco wants to know who you're thinking of making prefects for next year. I told him that I don't know and that you don't discuss that sort of thing with me, but don't be surprised if Lucius Malfoy writes you a letter," Rachel said, sitting down on the couch.
"Draco will have to wait, just like everyone else," Severus said. "Are you interested in being a prefect?"
"No," Rachel said, not seeming to need to think about her response. "I'd really just rather be with my study group."
Severus nodded, he had suspected as much. He also preferred to have his prefects be people who spent more time in the common room than Rachel and her friends did. "There's something I need to talk with you about," he began, deciding that Rachel at least deserved to know what was happening.
"About the third task? Or the Death Eaters?" Rachel asked.
"Neither, this pertains to the situation at the end of the last school year," Severus said. "Do you recall that I had spoken with a detective regarding the men involved in the child trafficking ring?"
Rachel nodded warily.
"He wrote to me to let me know that the trials for those men will be taking place soon. The first will take place a little over a week from now. I will be attending, and if you'd like to, you may attend as well," Severus said, watching Rachel carefully.
"What will happen during the trial?" Rachel asked after a long moment, her forehead creased in concern.
"I don't fully know, I've never attended a muggle trial. I imagine they will hear the evidence against the man and then make a decision as to his guilt," Severus said, guessing based on what little he knew of muggle law. "The first trial will be for Adam Wells. Do you recognize the name?"
Rachel shook her head. "I didn't know their names. They never said."
That made sense, given the illegal and covert nature of their operation. "The choice is yours, just let me know by next Sunday so I can make arrangements. Did you have any other questions?" he asked.
"How did the detective find them?" she asked.
Severus repressed a sigh. "I brought Adam Wells to the detective and used a Compulsion charm on him to force him to confess what he was doing. The detective and his team took over the investigation from there and arrested the other men involved," he explained.
"How did you know?" Rachel insisted. "I never told you about any specific people."
"I used legilimency on your aunt and uncle to view the memories they associated with you. From the memories of your uncle I was able to locate the hotel and the men involved," Severus explained, reminding himself that it was better to be truthful with her.
Rachel stared at him as she leaned back against the back of the couch. "You saw me?" she asked finally.
"From your relatives' memories, yes, but only in small glimpses," he said.
"I don't like that you did that," Rachel said, looking down at her lap. "I don't want you to see me like that."
"I understand," Severus said. He had been forced to drop his occlumency shields when he had first come to Albus asking him for help. He well remembered the embarrassment of being seen broken and humiliated. "What I saw doesn't influence the way that I see you now. What happened wasn't your fault, any of it."
Rachel shrugged, her gaze still focused downward.
"I do realize that I have violated your privacy and I apologize," Severus said after a long moment when Rachel didn't respond. "In my commitment to protecting you I made choices that perhaps you would have preferred to make yourself."
Rachel shrugged again. "Can I think about it and make a decision later?"
"Yes. Just let me know at dinner in a week. Whatever you decide is fine," he said, accepting the subject change. It seemed that Rachel wasn't ready to discuss the matter further. "Is everything else alright? Is there anything you wanted to talk about?"
"Just normal stuff, Quidditch practice, classes, homework. Hermione's drawing up our study schedules for end of year exams," Rachel said.
"You realize that you don't have to take the end of year exams this year?" Severus asked. "It won't affect your academic standing."
"I want to. It's good practice for the OWLs," Rachel said.
"If you change your mind, just let me know. Anything else?" he asked.
"Pansy and Daphne have been trying to spend more time with me and Millie, but I think it's just a friends thing and not a because Pansy's parents told her to thing," Rachel said after a moment.
Severus nodded. "Keep an eye on the questions that she asks you. If she's asking about specific spells you know, or asking specific questions about me, or anything else suspicious, I want you to let me know."
"I will. Mostly they just want to talk about boys and dating," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.
Severus decided that he was glad that boys and dating was considered eye roll worthy from Rachel. It wouldn't always be that way. "Good. Let me know if that changes. Are you ready for dinner?"
"Yes, I'm always hungrier on days we have Quidditch practice," Rachel said.
"That makes sense," Severus said, deciding that as a whole the conversation had gone as well as it could have under the circumstances.
The subject Severus had brought up plagued her throughout the week, leading to an increase in nightmares and sleepless nights.
It bothered her - a lot - that Severus had seen memories from her aunt and uncle. Part of what bothered her was she didn't know exactly what he'd seen. They had never really talked about what had happened at the Dursley's house, but Rachel thought he had a general idea. Now though she had no idea what he thought, because she didn't know what he'd seen.
It could go one of two ways, she figured. Either Severus had seen the really horrible stuff and now thought that she was broken beyond repair. The way he'd been rather overprotective of her last year suggested that was a good possibility. At the same time though, they'd thought Sirius was a mass-murderer and was breaking into the castle, so maybe him being overprotective wasn't about what he'd seen at all.
The other possibility was that he'd just seen the day to day stuff and had decided things weren't so bad after all. Rachel hoped that was true, but she didn't really believe it. At the very least he didn't seem to regret adopting her, though she wasn't entirely sure how she'd know if he did.
The matter of going to the trial was a whole different thing entirely.
A very large part of her was internally screaming that it was a very bad idea and that she'd left the muggle world behind when she'd come to Hogwarts and there was no point going back into it now. She didn't really need to attend the trial, if she wanted to know what happened she just had to ask Severus.
There was, however, a small insistent part of her that did want to go. She wanted to know what was going to happen and see for herself that it was actually fair. When Leander had been on trial she hadn't known much at all, just that there was a trial and that Leander had been sentenced to twenty years in Azkaban. She still felt guilty about that, but she couldn't see that she could do anything about it. Maybe if she went to this trial she could see that it went the way that it was supposed to go.
She had waited on Saturday for Torey to bring up the subject, but apparently Severus hadn't told her about it. Rachel had wavered, wanting someone else to make the decision for her, but also not wanting to bring it up in the first place. In the end she hadn't. Now Severus was expecting her for dinner in ten minutes and she still hadn't come to a decision.
"Rachel, after dinner you'll show us the new spell Professor Snape will be teaching you tonight?" Hermione asked, in the process of putting her books away in her bag.
"Sure," Rachel said. Fortunately the spells he'd been teaching her for the third task were much easier than conjuring or even the Disillusionment charm.
"It's not dueling, is it?" Theo asked.
"What?" Rachel asked, having lost the thread of the conversation.
"The third task, they're not going to make you duel each other, are they?" he clarified.
"No, thank goodness. I'd never manage in a duel against any of them," Rachel said, closing her two-way book and looking down at the Herbology essay she'd finished a half an hour ago. It wasn't her best work, but it was passable. Her concentration had not been very good this past week.
"And Professor Snape really said you can't tell us what the task is?" Ginny asked.
"Sorry," Rachel said. "He insisted."
"Well, I can see why he wouldn't want to get caught passing information to you, but he should know by now that we'd never tell anyone," Hermione said.
"I'm sure he knows, but I can see why he wants to be cautious if the judges are already suspicious," Theo said.
"Considering that two of the judges are helping their students when they're not supposed to, I think they're on pretty shaky ground with the whole thing anyway," Neville said.
"Which probably means it's just Cedric who doesn't know," Rachel said. She wondered if there was a way of telling someone a secret that they magically had to keep. The trouble was if she told Cedric, she wasn't sure he wouldn't tell his friends, even if he promised not to.
"Maybe he doesn't have to know in order to prepare," Luna suggested.
"Like tell him to practice offensive and defensive spells?" Millie asked.
"I don't see the harm in that. It's what he should be doing anyway," Hermione said.
Rachel nodded. "Next time I see Cedric, I'll tell him. I've got to get to dinner before I'm late," she said, checking her watch and putting her things away in her bag.
"We'll walk you down," Millie said.
"See you a little while after dinner," Rachel said to the rest of the group, exiting with Millie and Theo.
"Are you alright?" Theo asked when they were most of the way down the staircases.
"Me?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah, you've seemed a little pensive lately. Is the third task that bad?" Millie asked.
"Well, I'm not looking forward to it, but I don't think it's worse than the first or the second task," Rachel said. "I'm okay. I'm just tired."
"Let us know if there's something we can do. And come find us in the common room when you're done with Professor Snape, I'm going to try Jacob again tonight," Theo said.
"Do you really think that's going to change anything?" Millie asked.
"Probably not, but at the very least Jacob can tell his father that I'm bothering him, and his father can tell my father that I'm showing interest in spending time with Jacob," Theo said.
Rachel shook her head. "Things are okay with Draco and Pansy though?"
"Yes, I think they'll both vouch for me come summer. I'll ask my father if I can visit Malfoy Manor and spend some time with Draco, that will help," Theo said.
"Alright," Rachel said, not sure what they could do about the situation except what they were doing. "I'll see you after dinner."
"Bye," Millie said.
Rachel entered Severus' office and then walked through the permeable wall into his quarters. Severus was in his usual spot, this time with a book instead of a potions journal or a stack of essays.
"Did you have a good week?" he asked, marking his place and setting aside the book.
"It was fine," Rachel said, not willing to lie outright and say it was good.
"Any problems I should be aware of?" Severus asked.
"No. Would you have a problem with me telling Cedric that he should be practicing offensive and defensive spells for the third task?" Rachel asked, sitting down on the couch and leaving her bag next to her feet.
"That's reasonable advice, though I would hope he would be doing that already," Severus said.
"I hope so too, but if not, it's better to make sure. I figure that Fleur and Viktor probably already know what the task is from Professor Karkaroff and Madame Maxime," Rachel said.
"That's likely," Severus said.
"What's the spell for tonight?" she asked.
"The Reductor curse. I strongly advise you not to cast this curse at anything living unless you want a bloody mess. At times, that can be a good option - casting at someone's wand hand or at their legs can be debilitating and either would prevent your attacker from following you or from casting spells at you, but it is a spell of last resort," Severus said, looking at her intensely.
"I understand," Rachel said, nodding solemnly. She hoped she never was in a position where she needed to use it on something living.
"The true use of the Reductor curse is in its ability to clear obstacles or sometimes to create obstacles," Severus said. "We'll discuss it more after dinner. Before we eat, I want to ask you if you've made a decision about attending the trial this week?"
"I want to go," Rachel blurted out, surprising herself. "But I don't want anyone to know I'm there. Could I go under my invisibility cloak?"
"I don't think that's wise, but you could attend using Polyjuice Potion," Severus said.
Rachel combed her memory. "That's the potion to make you look like other people right?"
"That's right," he said.
"Who would I go as?" Rachel asked.
"I have a collection of hairs from a variety of people. There is a young woman you could go as. I myself will be using Polyjuice Potion as well, to assume my false identity as Detective Inspector Samuel Smith. You can assume the identity of my partner, also working as a Detective Inspector in the Home Office," Severus explained.
Rachel wasn't sure she could convincingly pretend to be a detective, even in the body of an adult. "How much would we have to pretend?"
"Not much. I believe the only people we will have to speak to are the guards on duty, who will wish to know our identities before we enter the courthouse, and we will likely speak with Detective Inspector Tim Walker, who was the leading detective on the case. After that we would sit and watch the trial," Severus said.
"So I'd just have to give a fake name and be polite to the detective?" Rachel asked.
"Essentially. Do you still wish to go?" he asked.
There was a war inside Rachel, fear intermingling with the strange feeling that she really needed to go, and a whole lot of doubt about the entire thing.
"It's okay if the answer is no," Severus said.
"I want to go," she said finally.
Severus nodded once. "I'll make the necessary arrangements, but you can still change your mind any time before we leave."
"Thanks," Rachel said. Strangely she didn't feel like she was going to change her mind. At least not yet. "The collection of hairs you have, is that because you had to do things like this during the war?"
"That and many things besides," Severus said, getting to his feet. "Dinner?"
"Okay," Rachel said, deciding not to press. She really didn't need to know.
Ginny bounded into the study room after class on Monday with a big grin on her face. "Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!"
"What?" Neville asked, smiling in response.
Ginny pulled out her wand. "Expecto patronum!" Moments later the silvery mist coalesced into a large silver horse.
"Bravo!" Hermione said, clapping her hands.
"Well done," Theo said, getting up and patting Ginny's shoulder.
The rest of them finished congratulating Ginny, who was flushed with pride, and Rachel joined Luna in more closely examining the horse Patronus.
"I wonder if it means something that your Patronus is so big," Rachel said. Her doe probably stood just below neck height to the horse.
"I don't know. Some very powerful people also have small Patronuses. Professor Flitwick's is a squirrel after all," Millie said.
"That's true," Hermione said. "I think it's more about what animal suits you. A squirrel makes a lot of sense for Professor Flitwick, he's smart and quick, and more powerful than you might expect just by looking at him."
"What do you think a horse means?" Ginny asked.
"Power, courage, and independence are the most well known traits associated with horses," Luna said. "I think that fits you quite well, Ginny."
"It's a little strange then, that my mom, Professor Snape, and I all have a doe Patronus," Rachel said as she thought about it. "It might make sense that I'm similar to my mom, but I'm not sure I'm very similar to Professor Snape."
"But you and Professor Snape both share traits that the doe might represent, like intelligence and calmness. I'm not sure I'd characterize Professor Snape as gentle, but you certainly are, and maybe your mother was as well," Theo said.
Rachel wasn't entirely sure she'd characterize herself as calm. And, in many ways, Severus was more gentle than her classmates realized.
"I wonder if there's a book in the library that would tell us more about the traits of our Patronuses. It might help us have insight into ourselves," Hermione said.
"There's one on the symbolism of animals in rituals. It's mostly about potion ingredients, but it discusses animal traits as well. I can show you it in the library," Luna said.
"Thank you," Hermione said.
Ginny dismissed her Patronus and they all took their seats.
"I think we're starting with Charms today and then Defense after dinner?" Hermione asked as she leafed through her planner.
"That's right," Theo said. "Sixteen inches on the Exploding charm. I think on the weekend we should take a walk out on the grounds and give it a try."
"We can go around the edge of the Forbidden Forest to where they were keeping the dragons for the first task. I don't think anyone at the castle will be able to hear us if we do that," Rachel said. "Also, I need to tell you I'm not going to be in class tomorrow, so if it's okay, I'd like to borrow your notes for Arithmancy and Ancient Runes."
"Where are you going?" Millie asked.
Rachel looked down at the table. She was afraid they were going to ask that. "I can't really say, but I'll be with Professor Snape."
"Is everything alright, Rachel?" Hermione asked.
"It's fine. There's just some place I have to go," Rachel said. She couldn't tell them about the trial. It would lead to a lot of other questions she wasn't prepared to answer.
"And it doesn't have to do with the third task or the Triwizard Tournament?" Theo asked.
"No, not at all," Rachel said, biting her lip.
"Should we be looking for you in the afternoon after classes or will you still be away?" Luna asked.
Rachel hesitated. "I'm not sure. I don't know how long this is going to take."
"Is there anything we can do to help you?" Neville asked.
"No, Professor Snape has the situation under control," Rachel said. At least she hoped he did. She still wasn't so sure about his plan to go under Polyjuice Potion, but it was clear he was familiar with doing it.
"Alright," Hermione said. "But if there is something we can do, just let us know and we'll do whatever we can to help. In the meantime, the Exploding Charm. Let's start with etymology, history, and spell theory, and that should cover it since we can't practice it in the castle."
Relieved to be focusing on homework, Rachel pulled out her two-way book, her Charms textbook, and a piece of parchment for her essay.
"Come find us when you're back," Theo said. "Or send us a Patronus message and we'll come to you."
"Okay," Rachel said, though she thought she could manage going to them just fine. It wasn't like she didn't know where they would be.
"Good luck," Millie said, though she did look worried.
"Thanks, I'll be fine," Rachel said, hoping that was true. She opened the door to Severus' office and waved goodbye to her friends before closing it behind her. She went straight through into Severus' quarters, knowing that he could hear the office door from in his quarters and found him at the dining table.
"Come get some breakfast, we have a little time before we need to go," Severus said.
Rachel sat and took a piece of toast that she had no intention of eating. If things went wrong she'd rather throw up on an empty stomach than a full one.
"We should review our identities before we go," Severus said, pushing a cup of tea toward her along with the milk and the sugar. "My name is Detective Inspector Samuel Smith. You should refer to me as Samuel if you speak of me. Your name is Detective Inspector Rachel Jones. We are partners together for the Home Office. If anyone asks of our work, say that we're kept busy but we can't really go into specifics on cases."
"Are we in a certain department?" Rachel asked.
"Organized crime, hence my interest in this specific case," Severus said.
"And no one is going to call the Home Office and ask if we really work there?" Rachel asked.
"Not if we don't arouse suspicion. My contact, Tim Walker, already believes my identity. There's no reason for them to check about us, especially as we're not consulting for the trial, we're just observing," Severus said. "Tim already knows that I'm bringing my partner to the trial."
"What if something goes wrong?" Rachel asked.
"Is there anything in particular you're worried about happening?" Severus asked, his gaze settling on her.
Rachel frowned as she thought about it. "What if I do something wrong?"
"There's not really anything you can do wrong. Remember your own name and position, my name and position, and let me do most of the talking. That shouldn't be difficult as I'm the one who knows Tim," Severus said. "The other main thing is the timing of our Polyjuice Potions. We'll need to take a dose every fifty-five minutes or so to ensure that we remain in our identities. I have brewed enough for each of us for six doses and my watch will give a small chime when it is time to take the next dose. I'll make sure you take yours as well."
"Do we have ID cards?" she asked.
"No, but there is a spell I can use if they ask to see any forms or cards. It will allow the muggles to see what they expect to see," Severus explained.
"Should I learn the spell too?" Rachel asked. It seemed a little bit late for that.
"It's a variant of the Muggle-Repelling charm. Simply point your wand at a blank piece of parchment and say praestolor impello," Severus said. "But I can perform it for you if need be."
"And no one notices you have your wand out?" Rachel asked skeptically.
"That's the repellent part of the charm, their attention is diverted away from what is actually there," Severus said.
"Why don't magical people interfere with muggle people more? It seems like they could do just about anything they wanted to," Rachel said, thinking of all the places witches and wizards could get into, and that was without even using things like memory charms or curses or advanced potions.
"A handful do, but the Ministry's stance has long been one of non-interference. The idea is we leave the muggles alone and the muggles leave us alone. There are occasions when we have to interact with the muggle world, such as when we believed that Black was a danger to both wizards and muggles, but for the most part witches and wizards aren't that interested in the muggle world," Severus explained.
"Theo hadn't read muggle books before. And Millie hasn't read many either, even though she's a half-blood," Rachel said. "Is the magical world really that separate? I mean, we both go shopping in muggle London."
"You and I are both half-bloods who were primarily raised in the muggle world, it's not surprising that we're more comfortable with it than most wizards. Less than ten percent of witches and wizards are muggleborn, and most households with half-blood children tend to live more fully in the wizarding world. Believe it or not, the separation was worse in Grindelwald's time, though I imagine you haven't reached the second world war in history class," Severus said.
"No, we're still on Goblin rebellions," Rachel said. "I don't know why we need to know all of them."
"You don't, really, but the Goblin rebellions were Binns' area of research while he was alive. Masterys in History are rare, and growing rarer still due to the few students who go on to take a NEWT in the subject," Severus said. "Are you going to eat?"
Rachel shook her head.
"Alright, let's be on our way. Our first stop is Spinners End, where we will take the Polyjuice Potion. Then we will apparate to an alleyway near the courthouse in Surrey. Do you have any questions?" he asked.
"What do we do if something goes wrong?" Rachel asked again.
"Then we excuse ourselves and leave and we'll apparate back to Spinners End or Fallow Farm," Severus said.
"What if the police try to stop us?" Rachel asked.
"They won't. No one has any reason to believe we're not who we say we are and we're not doing anything illegal besides. All we are doing is attending a trial," Severus said. "Do you still want to go?"
"I do," Rachel said, though at this point she didn't know why she was saying it. It just felt like something she needed to do, even though she was growing more worried the closer it came.
"If you need to leave, tell me, and we'll excuse ourselves," Severus said.
Rachel nodded. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.
"Let's go through the floo to Spinners End," Severus instructed.
She took a handful of floo powder from the container on the mantle and threw it into the flames. "Spinners End." She stepped into the green flames and had just enough time to remember what Luna had told her about how to step out of the fireplace instead of falling out of it. It took a moment, and she felt where gravity reasserted itself, but she didn't quite manage to coordinate her feet in time and instead fell down onto the rug in front of the fireplace. She promptly sneezed, it was quite dusty.
She moved out of the way in time for Severus to step through and then picked herself up.
"The clothes on the couch are for you, change into them before you take the Polyjuice," Severus said.
"Oh, do you want the bathroom first?" Rachel asked.
"No need," Severus said. He removed his outer robes and then tapped his wand against his trousers and then his shirt, transfiguring them into a black suit. "Polyjuice is in the hip flask, just take a small sip. Make sure you swallow it, don't spit it out, however foul it may taste."
Rachel gathered up the clothes, noticing that there were shoes with it, and took the hip flask as well. She went upstairs to the bathroom and shut herself inside.
She was a little embarrassed to find a bra and underpants with the clothing. She undressed, turning her back to the mirror over the sink, and then got herself sorted. It took a moment to figure out the bra. She couldn't figure out how to do the clasp if she was already wearing it, so she did the clasp up and then pulled it on over her head. The dark grey skirt, and the underpants, only stayed on if she held them up, and the blouse and dark grey jacket hung loosely over her. She didn't bother with the shoes just yet.
The Polyjuice - as expected - tasted horrible. It was kind of like moldy licorice that had been steeped in bitter tea. Then the changes came. Her stomach rumbled and then her body began to lengthen in a rather painful way. Finally it stopped. She readjusted her clothes, which now fit, and turned to look in the mirror. It was blurry and she realized that she didn't need her glasses. She took them off, stowing them in the jacket pocket, and took another look. Her hair was straight, and blonde, her eyes were now a grey that was similar to Draco's eyes. And, she was pleased to realize, she was quite tall. She was less pleased to realize that she had breasts.
She folded her clothes, put on her shoes, and made her way downstairs. She found a man waiting there, with short, dark hair and entirely different facial features than Severus. "Severus?"
"Yes, it's me. Do you feel alright?" Severus asked, his voice sounding different too.
"I'm okay," Rachel said, realizing her voice was lower pitched than usual. "Do I look okay?"
"You look fine. You have the hip flask in your pocket?" he asked.
Rachel pulled it out of her pocket. "Right here."
"And what's my name?" he asked.
"Detective Inspector Samuel Smith. I'm your partner Rachel Jones, we work with the Home Office in the organized crime department. We're meeting your friend Tim Walker," Rachel recited.
"Good. Any questions before we go?" Severus asked.
Rachel was tempted to ask him if he'd ever used the hairs for this Polyjuice before but decided not too. It was just too weird. "I'm ready."
"Hold my arm and I'll apparate us," Severus said.
Rachel walked over to him, feeling like her center of balance was all wrong, held onto his arm, and hoped she wasn't making a mistake.
They made it into the open lobby just inside the Surrey courthouse when Severus spotted Tim. He turned his head to check on Rachel, though it was a little strange to find her gaze only a few inches below his. "That's Detective Inspector Timothy Walker. Are you ready to meet him?" he asked quietly.
"As ready as I'm going to get," Rachel said, looking nervous.
"I will answer for you if necessary. Remember to keep things vague," Severus said. He led the way over and saw Tim's expression brighten with recognition.
"Samuel," Tim said, offering his hand. "Good to see you. I'm glad you could make it."
"I am as well," Severus said, forcing a slight smile. "Tim, this is my partner from the Home Office, Rachel Jones."
"Nice to meet you," Tim said, thrusting his hand at Rachel.
"Nice to meet you too," Rachel said, shaking his hand and managing a small smile.
"Samuel's probably filled you in about the case?" Tim asked.
"Yes, he did," Rachel said, glancing at Severus.
"Rachel was liaising with a different department when we were first investigating this case, but I filled in the details for her," Severus said. "In your letter you indicated the other trials are coming soon as well?"
"Yeah, we've got the ringleader in mid-April and two of the co-conspirators right after that. Most of the clients we got plead out, and we got most of them on possession of child pornography anyway," Tim explained. "Faber is going to be a tough one. The solicitor is trying to say our search warrant was obtained through backchannels and that the client was under medical distress when he was interviewed."
"Do you think he'll be released?" Severus asked.
"Not if our guys know what they're doing, which they should. Don't worry about it, we'll get him on appeal if necessary," Tim said. "Anyway, we're in courtroom three. Should be a fairly quick one, they're going to challenge Wells' statement but we have it covered."
"It's possible that we may need to leave before the end of the trial," Severus said, just in case it became necessary for them to leave.
"That's fine, just keep your pagers on vibrate, the judge we have doesn't like them going off in the courtroom. I'll be up front with our guys, but hopefully I'll catch up with you afterward and we can go out for a drink to celebrate," Tim said. "Oh, did your girl ever wind up going to the victim services center?"
Severus was careful not to glance at Rachel. "She did, but the last I checked she still did not wish to pursue the matter legally."
Tim nodded. "Sometimes the kids just can't. That's what we're for, I guess. Alright, I've got to get in there. Nice to meet you. You keep track of Samuel now, he's slippery," he said, giving Rachel a nod and a smile before walking away.
"Was he talking about me?" Rachel asked once Tim was far enough away he couldn't hear them.
"Yes, though I did not tell him your name, just generally that I was acquainted with a young girl who had informed me about the people we caught," Severus said.
Rachel nodded but still looked worried.
"Shall we take our place in the courtroom?" Severus asked when she didn't say anything.
"Okay," Rachel said.
They entered courtroom three and found the seats for the observers to be nearly empty. Severus guided Rachel to seats near the back and they sat. He could see Tim standing and talking with another man. There was a man at a table parallel to them. Two policemen stood nearby and there was a woman at a desk. And at the side of the courtroom a group of people were being led into seats.
Two more policemen came in with a man between them with his hands bound with handcuffs. Severus recognized him as Adam Wells, the man he'd brought into the Surrey police station a little over a year ago.
Another man entered and called "All rise". Severus got to his feet when he saw everyone standing up, Rachel a moment behind him.
After everyone was standing another person entered the room, this one in robes that would not have been out of place in the wizarding world, and she took her place on the elevated podium. She waved her hand and everyone was seated once more.
The trial began, and while it was less coherent than a Ministry trial would have been, Severus slowly got the idea. The woman on the platform was in control of the proceedings, telling them what she would and would not allow, while two of the men from the tables presented evidence and the group of the people to the side were allowed to see the evidence.
A chime on his watch let him know it was time for another dose of Polyjuice. He took a small mouthful from his hip flask and then showed his flask to Rachel. She took her own out from her pocket, making a small gagging noise as she managed to swallow from it.
After some time, Tim got up and stood facing the audience and was asked questions by both of the men. Severus froze in place when Tim pointed him out as the person who had brought the case to his attention.
"Are they going to make you go up there?" Rachel whispered.
"I don't know," Severus whispered back. He hoped not. It could be disastrous if he was questioned about how he had brought Adam Wells to the police station.
Eventually they let Tim return to his seat and then Adam Wells was brought up to be questioned.
Severus felt Rachel jolt beside him. He turned and saw that her eyes were wide as she stared at Adam Wells, apparently only now seeing who he was. She was trembling. "You recognize him?" he asked quietly.
Rachel nodded jerkily and reached for him with her right hand.
He held onto her hand even though she was squeezing his hand painfully tight. "Try to slow your breathing," he said quietly, noticing that her breaths were both audible and quick.
"I can't," Rachel said, her eyes still fixed on Adam Wells. "I can't be here."
Severus looked over the courtroom. So far no one else had realized that something was wrong. "Let's stand and step outside the room," he said, guiding her to her feet with the hand he was holding. He led her out of the courtroom and back into the lobby.
"I can't, I can't," Rachel said, one of her hands splayed against her chest.
Severus looked around for somewhere private he could take her and spotted the sign for a bathroom. "Take a slow breath. Remember what Torey told you about counting your breaths," he said, placing one hand on her back and moving her in the direction of the bathroom.
Rachel shook her head. "No, I can't," she said, sounding strangled.
"We're almost there," Severus said, opening the door to the bathroom and moving her inside. A quick look revealed that both the stalls were empty and he used his right hand to wandlessly cast a Locking charm at the main door, one of the few spells he could do without a wand.
Rachel let go of his hand and covered her face as she gasped for air.
Severus hesitated, not entirely sure what to do. He had never seen her this upset before. Would touching her make it worse or would it be reassuring? He finally settled for placing one of his hands on her upper arm.
She immediately stepped in against him, her forehead on his shoulder as she shivered. "I saw him," she managed to say.
He settled his hands on Rachel's back, not quite hugging her, but close. "You recognize him from the hotel," Severus said.
Rachel nodded against his shoulder. "I saw him, every time. When I was eight. I had been left alone for a long time and I thought no one was coming for me. So I went to look out the door, just a little bit, and he was there. And there was another man. And they were arguing about money. And the other man said he was going to go to the police, and he shot him."
Severus froze. "You saw Adam Wells kill a man?"
"It wasn't like on the shows at all, it wasn't even that loud. And then the man fell to the ground and I shut the door and pretended like I hadn't seen it because I thought he might shoot me too if he knew," Rachel said in between gasps for air.
He continued to hold Rachel, not sure what else to do. "You're safe from him now. He'll be going to prison. You won't ever have to see him again," he said.
It had clearly been a mistake to offer to bring Rachel to the trial. He had hoped it would be good for her, to see that justice was being done - what little of it they could get at least. Instead she'd just been exposed to a man who she had witnessed killing someone.
"Do you feel ready to apparate home?" Severus asked.
Rachel pulled away from him. Strangely her face was dry and she hadn't been crying. "You don't want to go back?"
"No, I don't think that's a good idea," Severus said.
"But you wanted to see the trial. Maybe you could leave me at home and come back?" she asked.
"No, I'm not leaving you right now. Do you feel well enough for me to apparate you?" he asked again.
"We can't, not in here," Rachel said. "We'll be seen."
"I locked the door," Severus said.
Rachel shook her head. "Look behind you, there's a camera," she said.
Severus turned and looked up. There was a box with a round lens in the corner near the ceiling. It wasn't like any camera he'd seen before. "They put a camera in the bathroom?" he asked, disturbed at the notion. He'd seen the occasional article in the Daily Prophet about muggle cameras being placed more and more places making it difficult to apparate unseen, but he'd never expected to find one in a bathroom.
"They probably think something bad might happen in here, like someone trying to escape," Rachel said.
Severus wasn't sure if that was it, but she was right that they shouldn't apparate from the bathroom. "Do you feel well enough to walk with me back to the alley?"
Rachel nodded. "My chest hurts, but not as bad as before. I think it was just a surprise seeing him. I didn't think I'd recognize him, it's been over four years since the last time I saw him. I didn't even know his full name."
"Let me know if you need to stop or slow down," Severus said. He wandlessly unlocked the bathroom door and they stepped out. The lobby was busier than before and he made sure to stay right by Rachel's side as they made their way out.
Ten minutes later they apparated to Fallow Farm, Severus depositing them directly into their sitting room.
"I thought we were going back to Spinners End?" Rachel asked.
"I thought you'd be more comfortable here. Regardless, we can't return to Hogwarts until the Polyjuice wears off," he explained.
"Is there no way to go back to our own bodies faster?" she asked.
"There is a Goblin enchantment known as the Thief's Downfall that will remove Polyjuice, as well as any other concealments or changes, but information about how to do that is restricted to the Goblin nation. Otherwise we must simply wait," Severus said.
"How did we get through the wards when we're not ourselves?" Rachel asked.
"The wards recognize us by our magic, not by our physical bodies," Severus said. "Why don't you take a seat and we'll wait for the Polyjuice to wear off?"
"Will you tell me about five minutes before it wears off? I think these clothes are basically going to fall off when I'm my usual size," Rachel said, sitting down on the couch.
"I will tell you. The watch will chime to let us know," Severus said. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay," Rachel said.
Severus frowned. She was clearly not okay.
"I'm sorry you had to leave," she said.
"You don't need to apologize," Severus said. "I will write a letter to Tim to find out the results of the trial. You will not have to do that again."
"Are you going to go to the other trials?" Rachel asked.
"Potentially," Severus said. He had wanted to go to John Faber's trial, but he wasn't sure he could leave Hogwarts on a school day again without Albus demanding to know what was so important that it took him from his classes.
"Will you tell me what happens, if you go?" she asked.
"I will," Severus said, hoping once again that he had actually done the right thing by involving the muggle police.
Rachel sat on her bed in her dorm room, one of Severus' books open next to her and Midnight curled up in her lap. She hadn't checked her watch in a little while but she knew it was past time for dinner to start. She didn't feel like going. She wasn't very hungry anyway.
Severus had made her stay in his quarters with him for a while once they got back to Hogwarts. They'd arrived in time that she could have attended her afternoon classes, but when she'd suggested it, he had said that it had been a difficult day and that the professors were already expecting her not to be in class today.
Since Rachel hadn't particularly wanted to go out into the castle she'd accepted that, and after a while Severus had suggested that she could read from his shelves if she wanted to while he graded essays. She wasn't oblivious to the way he kept glancing at her, the lines between his eyebrows meaning that he was worrying about her.
At his suggestion she had started to read Charles Dickens' Great Expectations. It was a strange book and she wasn't entirely sure what Severus expected her to get from it. He had warned her at the start that Dickens had been paid by the word and after a few chapters she thought that explained a lot.
She found she could read for periods of time, but sometimes she'd find herself staring at the pages and not reading, her mind preoccupied with what had happened at the trial. It was weird. She didn't even really remember freaking out. There was a certain detachment to it that wasn't quite like her nowhere place, but wasn't quite normal either. She remembered feeling suddenly very cold, like she'd just been doused in ice water, and then she remembered Severus guiding her into the bathroom and for whatever reason she'd just started babbling at him.
It was embarrassing and she definitely had not meant to tell Severus about that. He had actually hugged her. That was a little weird all on its own. He had never done that before and she wasn't sure what to think about it. It was fine, she had even felt relatively safe and not like she was trapped, but she also recognized that Severus was not someone who was comfortable with physical affection in general. That was fine too. She wasn't overly comfortable with it herself - she didn't mind when Hermione or Millie hugged her, but she wasn't really comfortable when Sirius hugged her.
Clearly she hadn't been ready to go to the trial, though she wasn't sure how she could have known that without going in the first place. Either way she had no intention of going to the other trials or doing anything like that ever again. The past was better off in the past.
"Rachel?" Millie asked.
Rachel looked up and found Millie standing nearby. "Oh, hi," she said. "I found your cat. She was out in the common room."
Millie gave Midnight a stern look and then looked back at Rachel. "We stopped by Professor Snape's office to see if you were back, but he said you'd gone to dinner," she said.
"I was going to, but then I got here and I didn't feel like eating," Rachel said.
"Are you okay?" Millie asked, sitting down on the side of Rachel's bed.
"It was a long day," Rachel settled on.
"Did you want to talk about it?" Millie asked.
"I really can't," Rachel said. There was no way to explain today without explaining the rest of it, and she just couldn't do that. She didn't want them to know.
"Can you talk about it without talking about it? Like without saying what it was, or the details?" Millie asked, her brow furrowed.
Rachel sighed. "There's not really much to talk about. We just had to go somewhere and it was harder than I expected it would be. But I don't have to do it again, so it's fine now."
"It's not… your relatives aren't trying to get you back, are they?" Millie asked.
"No," Rachel said. "Thank goodness, but believe me, they wouldn't want me back. I bet they celebrated when they found out I wasn't coming back."
"And no one is trying to take you away from Professor Snape?" Millie pressed, not looking any less worried.
"No. Can they even do that?" Rachel asked.
"The Ministry takes kids from their homes sometimes, if they think they're getting hurt. It doesn't happen very often, my mom says that it's usually not until something either goes badly wrong and they have to seek a Healer or the kid tells someone," Millie explained.
Rachel frowned. "I think Professor Dumbledore would do something if they tried to take me away from Professor Snape. And they have no reason to anyway."
"I know, but you said you had to go somewhere with Professor Snape but couldn't talk about it, and I was worried, and I didn't know what else it could be," Millie said. "And you're not sick or anything, right?"
"I'm not sick. I'm okay," Rachel said. "I want to tell you that it's nothing to worry about, but I know when people say that to me it doesn't actually stop me from worrying it just means I don't tell the person who said it that I'm worrying."
Millie gave her a small smile. "Whatever it is, Professor Snape is taking care of it?"
"Yes, he is," Rachel said.
"And you'll tell us if you need help?" Millie asked.
"I will. And what I need help with now is knowing what we went over in class. And which homework you did this afternoon so I can do it," Rachel said.
"Ready to come up to the study room with us? Theo said he'd wait for us," Millie said, standing up.
"Yeah, time to get things done," Rachel said, closing her book and then looking down at Midnight. "Sorry, but you have to move now."
Midnight gave a meow in protest as Rachel carefully slid her onto the bed.
"Don't look at me like that, I know you've been sneaking out," Millie told Midnight. "We're doing the Herbology essay tonight. And we'll get you caught up on what you missed."
"Thanks," Rachel said, packing her bag with books from her wardrobe.
"And we should stop by Professor Snape's office again so that he knows we found you," Millie added.
"Okay," Rachel agreed, though she would have preferred to skip that step if she hadn't known Severus would worry if they didn't show back up again. She also suspected that not being hungry was not going to be a good enough excuse for skipping dinner. Maybe if she let him order her a sandwich from the kitchens he wouldn't worry as much. "Let's go find Theo."
"How was your week?" Torey asked as Rachel sat down.
"Severus didn't come talk to you?" Rachel asked. She had figured Torey would already know about what happened at the courthouse.
"He hasn't, our last check in was about two months ago," Torey said. "Was there something you felt he should have talked to me about?"
Rachel shifted on the couch. She'd kind of dug her own hole here. "Severus took me to see the trial for one of the men that was involved with the group my uncle was taking me to."
Torey blinked and then sat back in her chair. "When did this happen?"
"Tuesday," Rachel said, not wanting to admit that she'd known about it when she'd seen Torey last week. She could tell from the way Torey was tapping her finger against her notebook that she wasn't pleased. "Severus didn't make me go. He asked me if I wanted to go, and I said yes. I don't know why, it was obviously a mistake. I just thought I could handle it."
"I don't think it's about handling it, I just don't think you were prepared to be in that situation. This is the sort of thing that it can be helpful to talk about in advance so you can make decisions that are the healthiest for you," Torey said. "Why do you think it was a mistake?"
"I kind of freaked out," Rachel said, gazing down at the floor.
"What happened when you freaked out?" Torey pressed.
"I don't know, I don't remember it really clearly. I didn't recognize him at first, but I did when I saw his face. I just remember feeling really cold and like I couldn't breathe. And then Severus helped me leave the room and I kind of told him stuff I didn't mean to tell him and now I regret it, but I wasn't really in control when that happened," Rachel said. "I don't really know what happened. I felt weird for a while, like I wasn't really there."
"Feeling cold can be a symptom of shock or a precursor to a panic attack, and it sounds like you were experiencing some disassociation as well. That's not entirely surprising considering you saw someone who had hurt you in the past," Torey said.
"No," Rachel said, thinking that it was important to clarify. "He didn't hurt me. He was just the man who would take us to our rooms, give us the medication, and then come get us again later."
"He was drugging you, that is a form of harm, and you would see him before you were hurt. It sounds like your body was preparing yourself to be hurt, because you recognized that he was there in times before you got hurt. Our minds and bodies are very good at recognizing patterns," Torey explained.
Rachel shrugged.
"You said that you told Severus something and you regret telling him?" Torey asked.
"Just about something that happened with the man who was on trial," Rachel said vaguely. She didn't particularly think that Torey needed to hear that story too. "I regret telling Severus any of it. Did you know that he read the memories of my aunt and uncle?"
"He did tell me that, yes. Was this something you recently found out, or did he tell you last year?" Torey asked.
"Just this past week. I didn't ask him about it until now. I had kind of hoped that if I didn't bring it up, it would just go away," Rachel said. "I really don't like that he did that. I don't even know what he saw, and I don't want to ask him about it."
"It was a violation of your privacy," Torey agreed. "It's natural that you'd be upset by this."
"I just don't want him to think of me that way," Rachel said, clenching her hands in frustration.
"In what way?" Torey asked.
Rachel frowned as she shrugged to put it into words. "Like I'm a helpless kid. I don't want him to look at me and see the person I was."
"Other people hurting you does not define who you are, or who you were. It's part of your experience and your memory, but it doesn't represent you," Torey said. "You've spent a lot of time with Severus. I'm certain he doesn't see you in any one dimensional way."
"The way he looks at me though. It's like he thinks I'm going to fall apart at any moment," Rachel said, remembering the long look he'd given her when she'd showed up at his quarters that night and had to tell him that she'd missed dinner.
"It's natural for Severus to be concerned for your well being. Any parent would be, and there are some unique threats in your life for him to be concerned about. Also, he's human and he cares about you. Can you think of a time one of your friends has told you something that made you worry for them?" Torey asked.
Rachel nodded. She could think of plenty of times. The way she worried over Theo and his father, their difficulties with getting Luna seen at St. Mungo's, the days after they'd seen the Unforgivable Curses and how silent Neville had been.
"Did you think less of them because you were worried about them, or think them to be less capable?" Torey asked.
"No. I just want them to be safe," Rachel said.
"Just as Severus wants you to be safe. The more that he sees that you are safe, the less worried he will feel," Torey said.
"So sometime after the Triwizard Tournament is over and the Death Eaters aren't trying to kill me," Rachel said. That seemed like it could be a long way away.
"Have there been any developments on that front?" Torey asked.
"No. We have no idea who put my name in the Goblet. The third task is in a little over two months and Severus is helping me prepare. Theo is still trying to make friends with some of the students who have Death Eaters as relatives, and apparently they ask about me, but otherwise nothing new," Rachel said.
Torey nodded. "I think for the time being the best you can do is stay alert and continue to prepare for the task. Do you feel safe at school?"
"Yes. Theo and Millie go with me just about everywhere, so it's really hard for anyone to attack me. And we're getting a good range of offensive and defensive spells to practice. I think we'd surprise anyone who tried to attack us, as long as they were other students and not actually Death Eaters," Rachel said.
"Good. If you think of anything else that would help you feel safe, let me or Severus know and we'll do what we can. Did you want me to talk with Severus about the trial?" Torey asked.
"I don't think that's necessary," Rachel said quickly. "I'm not going to go to any of the other trials, and Severus knows that. I don't think he'd let me go again, even if I wanted to."
"Alright," Torey said. "How was the rest of your week?"
"Busy, but mostly boring," Rachel said, knowing she should tell Torey that her nightmares had been worse since the trial, but not wanting to bring it up. "Oh, I can tell you about Pansy and Draco."
"Your roommate and her boyfriend?" Torey asked.
Rachel nodded and got ready to explain how Pansy felt they should be doing more dating activities, but Draco was more interested in spending time playing Quidditch and seeing his friends.