There was a low fire in the fireplace, the glow barely illuminating the space around it. The room - what could be seen of it - was richly appointed. A thick oriental rug covered the hardwood floor, silver and gold decorated the mantle of the fireplace, along with a non-faded spot on the wallpaper that had obviously been covered at some point by a picture frame or perhaps a mirror.
A red velvet upholstered chaise lounge sat just to the side of the oriental rug, and on the oriental rug itself a large green snake was coiled. It was impossible to tell how long the snake was while it rested, but near the head the snake was about as thick as an adult's thigh. Despite the fire the room was cold and in the background there was the sound of a clock ticking.
"You've returned at last, Pettigrew."
A floorboard creaked as a man came forward to stand in front of the fireplace. He was poorly dressed, his robe hanging loosely from his shoulders, and his skin looked sallow in the light from the fire. "Master, please forgive me."
"Two days. Two days left helpless. Alone. And you dare beg for my forgiveness," the voice said, its tone as cold as its words.
"It was more difficult than we expected. I had to wait, I couldn't be seen," Pettigrew said.
"Lies. You wished to not return. You thought if you ran, you would be spared. Does it grow tiresome, caring for me?"
"No, my lord. I only wish to serve. You wished to know how the plan was progressing, you sent me and I returned as soon as I could. Please, I came as soon as I could," Pettigrew pleaded.
"And what of the plan?"
"It proceeds as was decided. Everything is in place and there have been no signs that anyone suspects a thing," Pettigrew said. "If you don't want to wait, we could easily do it now."
"Am I that much of a burden to you? After all I've given you."
"No, no my lord. I am honored to serve you, as I have always been. It was I who brought you information when no one else could. It was I who came to you when the rest abandoned you and presumed you were dead." Pettigrew stood taller as he spoke.
"After thirteen years of hiding in the laps of blood traitors." The voice sounded disgusted.
Pettigrew shook his head. "So I could hear news. As soon as I heard rumors of where you were, I came.
"As soon as you were exposed and needed my help, you came. And little news you brought me. We will wait, as we planned. I will return to more power than I ever held before. Do not question me again. Crucio!"
Pettigrew fell to the floor, screaming as his body convulsed.
"Rachel wake up!"
Rachel sat upright, trying to cover her head to protect her face from whatever was happening.
"Rachel? Are you awake?" Pansy asked.
Rachel uncovered her face and tried to catch her breath as she looked around the room. Millie was by her bedside looking frightened. Pansy and Daphne both had their lit wands held up and looked worried. Rachel brought her hand back to her forehead. Her head was aching and her scar felt like it was burning.
"Rachel? Are you alright now?" Millie asked.
"You were screaming in your sleep," Daphne added.
"I had a dream, but it didn't feel like a dream. And my scar hurts now," Rachel said, swallowing as she realized her throat hurt from screaming.
"I've never seen anything like it, it was like you were possessed," Pansy said. "Your body kept twitching."
"Maybe we should go to Professor Snape," Millie said. "Is your scar still hurting now, or just in the dream?"
"Still hurts, but not as much as it did before. I felt like my head was splitting open," Rachel said, swinging her feet out of bed. At the very least she wasn't about to go back to sleep.
"I think seeing Madam Pomfrey or Professor Snape would be a good idea," Daphne said. "That didn't seem normal."
Rachel reached for her glasses, her wand, and her watch and checked the time. "It's after midnight. I don't want to wake them."
"There are some things you're supposed to wake your parents for. Professor Snape would want to know if you're in pain," Millie said, looking worried. "I can walk you to his office so you don't have to go alone."
After a moment of thinking about it Rachel nodded and stood up, though she had to sit back down immediately as the room spun around her.
"Rachel? Are you going to be sick?" Pansy asked.
"No, I just need a moment, I got dizzy," Rachel said, pressing her hand against her forehead again. She couldn't believe a dream affected her this badly. Was it really possible that it hadn't just been a dream?
"Maybe you caught something, there's a flu going around the lower years. Do you feel cold or sweaty? Are you aching anywhere?" Daphne asked.
"A little bit cold, but not too bad," Rachel said. "And just my head hurts."
"I've never heard of the flu causing nightmares like that," Pansy said.
Rachel tried to get to her feet again and found that while she was still a little dizzy she was at least stable.
"Professor Snape will know if it's the flu," Millie said. "And if so you can take a Pepper-Up potion and be just fine in a few hours."
Rachel nodded, though she really didn't think she had the flu. "Sorry for waking all of you."
"It's not your fault, no one can control something like that," Daphne said.
"Let us know if it is the flu, that way the rest of us can take Pepper-Up before we get it," Pansy said.
"I will," Rachel said. She left the dorm room with Millie, Millie bending down to catch Midnight and put her back in the dorm room before she could escape.
"Was it a nightmare like you usually have?" Millie asked when they were alone.
"No, not at all," Rachel said. She didn't quite feel ready to suggest that the dream had been real.
"Hopefully Professor Snape will know what to do. If not, we can go to Madam Pomfrey," Millie said, shivering as they stepped out of the common room and into the corridor.
Rachel shivered as well, realizing that they both were wearing nightgowns and had bare feet, and the corridors were not kept warm like the dorms and the common room. "Thanks for coming with me."
"You really think I'm going to let you go wandering the corridors in the middle of the night, especially when you're hurt?" Millie asked. "Besides, you'd do it for me."
"I would," Rachel agreed, but it wasn't lost on her that more often Millie was the one taking care of her.
Rachel opened the door to Severus' office and stepped inside, finding it to be not much warmer than the corridor.
"Do we just wait, or do you need to go wake him up?" Millie asked.
"We can wait, he has wards set up that detect if someone enters his office or his quarters while he's asleep," Rachel said.
"I'd say that's paranoid, but given everything that's probably wise," Millie said. "Imagine if the Weasley twins got loose in Professor Snape's office."
"He would murder them and then have them expelled," Rachel said, though surprisingly she hadn't seen them in detention with Severus this year. She used to see them scrubbing cauldrons at least once a month.
Severus stepped through the wall with his wand drawn. "What happened?"
Suddenly Rachel felt very stupid. She had woken him up just because she had a nightmare?
"We thought you might need to check if Rachel is sick," Millie said when Rachel didn't speak. "She was screaming while she was asleep, and her body was twitching, and then after we woke her she said that her scar hurt."
"Thank you for bringing her here. Do you feel comfortable returning to your dorm alone?" Severus asked.
"That's fine. I'm guessing you'll stay here tonight, Rachel?" Millie asked.
Rachel nodded. "I'll see you in the morning, either at breakfast or at classes."
"Thank you, sir," Millie said to Severus. "Feel better Rachel."
"Thanks," Rachel said, watching as Millie left.
"Come in our quarters so you can be by the fire, you must be freezing. Do you have a dressing gown or slippers in your room?" Severus said.
"I have some socks and a jumper," Rachel said.
"Better than nothing, do you feel well enough to get them or would you like me to?" he asked.
"I can do it. I'm not dizzy now," Rachel said. She stepped through the wall and then went into her room to pull a jumper on over her nightgown and put a pair of socks onto her freezing feet.
"Here, put this over your lap," Severus said, handing her a wool blanket as she came back into the sitting room. "Come close to the fire for a moment, I wish to look at your scar. Is it still hurting?"
"Not as bad as before, but it still feels like it's burning," Rachel said, allowing him to guide her to the fireplace.
He brushed her hair away from her forehead and peered down at her. "It does appear to be inflamed. I'm not certain if Burn paste or Healing salve will be more beneficial. The original injury wasn't a burn, so I'm inclined to think Healing salve would be the appropriate treatment."
"It doesn't need anything, it doesn't hurt that bad," Rachel said.
"There's no reason to be in pain when you don't have to be. Do you hurt anywhere else? Does anything ache?" Severus asked.
"I have a headache," Rachel admitted.
"Take a seat, I'll be back in a moment," Severus said, stepping away.
Rachel sat down and pulled her feet up on the couch and wrapped the green tartan blanket around herself.
Severus returned carrying two potions, one of which Rachel recognized as a jar of Healing salve. "Rub the Healing salve onto your scar. You can wash it off before you go back to sleep. The green one is a Pain Relieving potion for your headache."
Rachel took the Pain Relieving potion first, grimacing at the taste but immediately feeling the pain that was constricting her head ease. The Healing salve felt gross on her fingers but she slathered some on her scar and felt the burning decrease a little bit. "Thank you. Can I have some water?"
Severus promptly conjured a glass and filled it with water from his wand.
"Why is Augamenti a charm and not a conjuration?" Rachel asked before taking several gulps of the water. She hadn't realized how thirsty she'd been.
"Technically, it's both, however the conjuration is entirely elemental so it's very easy to do," Severus said as he sat down in his armchair. "Tell me about your dream."
"I'm not entirely sure it was a dream," Rachel said, feeling stupid again. "It didn't feel like a dream."
"What happened in it?" he pressed.
"I wasn't even there. It was like watching a show on the television, except I could feel it. Pettigrew was there. He was reporting to someone about their plan, which was going well. And I think the person that I couldn't see was the Dark Lord. And he used the Cruciatus curse on Pettigrew, and it hurt, and that's when I woke up," Rachel explained.
"And your scar was hurting when you woke?" Severus asked, his expression grim.
Rachel nodded. At the very least he didn't seem mad that she'd woken him up.
"Have you had any other dreams like this?" he asked.
"One in the summer," Rachel said, remembering the dream she'd had just before classes had started again. "Pettigrew was in that one too. It didn't hurt as badly, but the Dark Lord used the Killing curse on a woman who had a baby."
"You must come to me with any dreams that you have about the Dark Lord, or if your scar is hurting. I do not care what time of night it is," Severus said. He was frowning as he thought.
"What do you think is happening?" Rachel asked. "Was what I was seeing real?"
"I think we have to consider that as a strong possibility. It's possible that your curse scar links you to the Dark Lord in some way. I will discuss this with Albus at the first opportunity and we will come up with a plan," Severus said.
"That means he's back though, right?" Rachel asked, not wanting to believe it.
"The fact that you can't see him is odd. I don't know if that means you were looking from his eyes during the dream or if he is still non-corporeal," Severus said.
Rachel shook her head. "I don't think I was seeing from his eyes. I could look down at the floor, but I didn't see a body there. Like if I look down at the floor now, I see where my body is."
"For now we simply do not know what state of being the Dark Lord is in. Did they say anything more about this plan?" Severus pressed.
She thought about it, trying to remember back before the pain had come. "It took Pettigrew two days away from the Dark Lord to find out, and the plan was proceeding as it should, and Pettigrew wanted to know if they could not wait, but the Dark Lord was going to be more powerful when he returned if they did wait. And that's when he used the Cruciatus curse for questioning him."
The lines between Severus' eyebrows grew deeper. "I do not know what that means, but perhaps Albus will have some ideas. How are you feeling?"
"Okay now, just a little scared," Rachel said, but then another thought occurred to her. "Pansy is probably going to tell her parents about this, and she knows that my scar was hurting."
"That's good information to have, but I'm not sure Ambrosia and Wardell are in a position to know what that means," Severus said. "I did not feel anything through my Dark Mark, so I don't think they'll connect it to the Dark Lord. Perhaps we should pretend that you were ill and say that's why you were in pain."
"Daphne suggested that it might be the flu that's going around the lower years," Rachel said.
"Good. That will do nicely. You had a nightmare that was exacerbated by the flu. I gave you a Pepper-Up potion and you felt better in the morning," Severus said.
"I'll tell Pansy and Daphne," Rachel agreed.
"You said nothing to them of the contents of your dream?" he asked.
"No, but apparently I was moving while I was screaming," Rachel said. She didn't want to think of how freaky that must have looked.
"If your mind believed that you were under the Cruciatus curse that's not surprising. Most people will scream and convulse while being subjected to the curse," Severus said.
Rachel didn't want to think about what it meant that Severus had clearly witnessed people being cursed before. "I don't think I can go back to sleep," she said after a moment.
"That's fine, I imagine you need a little time to settle your mind before you try. You're of course welcome to peruse my bookshelves," he said. "Would you like some tea or some hot cocoa?"
"No thank you," Rachel said. She didn't want to put anything else in her stomach right away. She didn't even want to read. She could feel her mind churning around the idea that the Dark Lord was back and he had plans to gain power. "Will Professor Dumbledore really know how I'm seeing these things?"
"If anyone would know, it would be him," Severus said. "Albus is accomplished in many types of mind magics."
"You'll tell him about this in the morning?" Rachel asked.
"Yes, I'll catch him before he goes to breakfast," Severus said. "You may come with me if you want to."
"No, that's okay. But will you tell me what he says?" she asked.
"I will. I also think that for the time being that it's important that we keep this connection between the three of us. You, Albus, and I are all occlumens and can keep secrets from prying eyes. I know that you trust your friends, but it would be very easy for a legilimens to read their thoughts and memories concerning you," Severus said, seeming to watch her closely.
Rachel nodded. "That's fine." She didn't particularly want to tell them that she was somehow able to see the Dark Lord in her dreams anyway.
"Please tell me if you need anything," Severus said. "Would you like to be alone?"
"Um, you can go back to bed if you want to, I'm okay now, but if you want to stay that's fine too," Rachel said.
"I'll stay then, it's not likely I will get back to sleep myself," Severus said. He picked up a book from the side table next to his chair and opened it.
Rachel appreciated that he was giving her the illusion of privacy by not looking at her, and settled in to think. It was going to be a long night.
"How does your scar feel now?" Severus asked, peering at Rachel's forehead.
"Fine, it doesn't hurt anymore. I'm going to go shower and change before anyone else is up," Rachel said, folding the blanket she'd been using and setting it on the couch.
Severus felt oddly reluctant to let her go. "Come to me if you feel your scar hurting again. I'll make sure the other professors know you can leave class to come to me and that you can take Millie or Theo with you," he settled on.
"You think it will happen when I'm awake too?" she asked, bringing her hand up to touch her scar.
"I don't know," he admitted. "But I want to be prepared in case it does."
Rachel frowned but finally nodded. "You'll tell me what Professor Dumbledore says?"
"I will. You can join me for dinner tonight if you wish," Severus said.
"Okay," Rachel said.
"Have Theo or Millie walk you down," he reminded her.
"I will, I always do," Rachel said. She turned and left through the permeable wall before he had the chance to offer to walk her back to the common room.
Severus sighed as he stared at the wall where she'd just exited. Neither of them had slept after she had shown up in his quarters. He'd watched her out of the corner of his eye. At first she had just sat, curled up beneath the blanket with her gaze fixed on the fireplace. After a while she laid her head down on the arm of the couch, but her eyes never closed for more than a few moments at time.
He could understand why she was worried and there was little he could do to reassure her, not about this. If the Dark Lord was indeed back then they both were in a great deal of danger. The Dark Lord would not take Severus' betrayal lightly. And Rachel had been in danger from the Dark Lord since before she was even born.
And then there was this connection that had allowed Rachel to witness these events. He was almost positive that Rachel hadn't simply been dreaming.
"Headmaster's office," he said after he threw a handful floo powder into the fireplace. "Albus, may I join you?"
"Yes, please do," Albus called after a moment.
Severus stepped through the fireplace and into Albus' office. Albus was sitting at the side of his office, with a tea service on a low table, and a book in his own handwriting on his lap along with a quill. Fawkes perched on the top of the chair, his gaze focused on Severus like the phoenix was aware that Severus brought bad tidings.
"You needed something, Severus, or you merely wished to have tea?" Albus asked.
Severus sat down in the chair on the other side of the low table. "Rachel has had dreams of the Dark Lord. She wakes with pain in her scar," he said, feeling it was the best place to start.
"Dreams, plural?" Albus asked.
"Yes, two that she's told me about. One last night and one during the summer. Both of them featured Pettigrew," Severus said.
"I take it you don't believe that these dreams are merely her worries about what Pettigrew and Voldemort might bring?" Albus asked, his gaze steady.
"I don't. When she came to me last night her scar was red and inflamed. During the dreams she indicated that the Dark Lord used the Killing curse and the Cruciatus curse. She also said that she couldn't see the Dark Lord, she could just hear a disembodied voice," Severus explained. "I believe it was you who hypothesized that her scar is a connection to the Dark Lord."
"Perhaps more so than I'd previously imagined," Albus said, his expression thoughtful. "What did she say happened in these dreams?"
"The Dark Lord talked about a plan, one that would allow him to return more powerful than he was before. She indicated that the plan was going as they expected. Pettigrew was tortured for questioning the Dark Lord. In her dream during the summer the Dark Lord used the Killing curse on a woman with a baby," Severus said.
"He'll have his wand. Or at least, a wand, but I suspect he has his own," Albus said. "Voldemort's wand was never found in Godric's Hollow."
"You believe as I do, that these are not dreams, that they're visions of some kind?" Severus asked.
Albus nodded once. "I think we must act as if what she is seeing is accurate until we get information to suggest otherwise. I think it's also likely that Voldemort will seek to exploit this ability once he becomes aware of it."
"I've asked Rachel to come to me if she feels her scar hurting. I trust that you will ask the rest of the staff to allow her to leave class if she says that she needs to come see me, and to be accompanied by one of her friends," Severus said, not expecting resistance from Albus on this at least.
"That's fine, we'll make the staff aware of it at our next staff meeting. Also, I'd like to ask you to ask Rachel to write down these dreams with as much detail as she remembers. Not just the conversations and the people who were there, though those are undoubtedly important, but anything about the environment. She may be able to give us a clue as to where Voldemort and Pettigrew are hiding," Albus said.
"I will ask her, though I will not force her to do it if it causes her distress," Severus said.
"She was distressed last night?" Albus asked.
"Enough so that she and Miss Bulstrode showed up in my office in only their nightgowns, though she had calmed enough to tell me about what had happened soon after," Severus explained.
"I assume Miss Parkinson witnessed this upset as well?" Albus asked.
"Yes, we're saying that Rachel had a nightmare that was exacerbated by contracting the flu that is going around. Hopefully that will be unremarkable enough that Miss Parkinson won't give it much detail when she writes to her parents," Severus said. "Do you know of a way we can prevent Rachel from having these visions? Can this connection be severed?"
"I would suggest occlumency, but you've stated that Rachel seems to have her occlumency barrier up all of the time?" Albus reached for his tea cup, jostling his book and quill.
"It has been a few years since I last tested Rachel's occlumency. I will do so tonight to make sure her barrier is still up," Severus said. "And the connection?"
"I did a great deal of research when Rachel first survived the Killing curse, enough to verify that it was Lily's sacrifice that enabled Rachel to survive, rather than something innate in Rachel. I've also done a great deal of research on curse scars. However, there is no research on scars left behind by the Killing curse as no one has survived it before, nor does it leave wounds that would result in such a scar," Albus explained. "As such, I have very little information as to how this connection works, and even less on how we might sever the connection."
"Do you think it's likely that the Dark Lord is able to sense Rachel in the way that she is receiving visions from him?" Severus asked.
"I do not know. Under other circumstances I would say no, but we don't have enough information to even guess at this time. I find it particularly interesting that in both visions an Unforgivable curse was used. It's possible that this connection requires intense emotion, or that it is somehow leaking from Voldemort to Rachel, where she's sensing it because of the scar. In that case, I would say that he likely is not receiving information from her," Albus said.
"We'll have to see if the pattern persists. What of the Dark Lord's plan?" Severus pressed.
"Resurrection, I imagine. He wishes to return more powerful than he was before. It's possible he is possessing someone for the time being, and that is what is allowing him to hold a wand and cast curses, but I suspect he wants a body of his own," Albus said.
"And the Philosopher's Stone is still safe?" Severus asked.
"Yes, it is still in my possession," Albus said. "For now we must be patient and watchful. Bring me the narratives after Rachel has written them and we will go over them for clues. And watch Rachel for any signs of unusual behavior."
"You think he might attempt to possess her?" Severus asked.
"I think it's unlikely he can achieve true possession of an unwilling victim, but if the connection goes both ways, he may be able to influence her," Albus said.
Yet another thing to be worried about. "I will keep a close eye on her," he promised.
Albus nodded. "Was there anything else?"
"No," Severus said, though he thought it was quite enough to be getting on with.
"You're preparing her for the third task?" Albus asked.
"I am. Has Crouch and Bagman indicated what they will be putting in the maze?" Severus asked.
"Not as of this time. I suspect they will not tell us until it is time to populate the maze," Albus said.
Severus stood up. "I'll speak with you again soon."
"Thank you, as always, Severus," Albus said.
"And you," Severus said, moving to floo back to his quarters so he could begin preparing for the day.
"Did Professor Snape ask you to have dinner with him tonight because he's worried about you after last night?" Millie asked as they started down the corridor that led to the dungeons.
"Because you were sick?" Theo asked.
Rachel glanced around, but no one was nearby. "I wasn't actually sick. We're just saying that so Pansy will tell that to her parents."
"Why would Pansy's parents care that you were sick?" Millie asked.
"Because of what I said about my scar hurting," Rachel said as quietly as she could while still being audible.
Theo came to a stop. "What does that mean?"
"I can't tell you, because Professor Snape says I can't talk about it to anyone but him and Professor Dumbledore," Rachel said, both glad that she didn't have to tell them and a little bit wishing that she could.
Theo looked around and took a step closer. "Because of the Dark Lord?" His voice was barely audible even though there were only a few inches between them.
Rachel nodded.
"We can't talk about this here," Millie said, looking further down the corridor.
"We can't talk about it anywhere," Rachel said. "Besides, at this point I really don't know anything."
"But You-Know-Who was responsible for last night?" Millie asked.
"We're not sure," Rachel settled on.
"Millie's right, we definitely can't have this conversation here. Let's go before Professor Snape starts wondering where you are," Theo said. A moment later they saw two upper year girls turn the corner as they headed to the Great Hall for dinner.
"Can Professor Snape or Professor Dumbledore stop what happened last night from happening again?" Millie asked once the corridor was empty again.
"I don't know," Rachel said. She didn't really see how they could.
"The flu excuse is only going to work once," Millie said.
"I know, we'll figure something out. Hopefully it won't happen again," Rachel said. The fact that it had happened twice was concerning. There was some saying that she had heard somewhere: once was happenstance, twice was coincidence, and three times was a pattern. She sincerely hoped this didn't become a pattern.
"We'll come down to the common room after dinner and meet you there," Theo said.
"Thanks," Rachel said, coming to a stop in front of Severus' office door. "I'll join you as soon as I'm done here."
She found Severus sitting in his office, the door to his classroom open. It smelled like smoke and moldy oranges. "Did something happen?" she asked.
"Stephen Higgs exploded his Confusing concoction, which managed to get in three separate cauldrons, which all proceeded to explode. I sent half the class to the hospital wing and I'm still attempting to remedy the ceiling to my classroom," Severus said with a scowl on his face.
Rachel peered inside the classroom and saw that there were smoking holes in the ceiling and parts of the floor didn't look much better. "How did he get a Confusing concoction to do that much damage?"
"Blatant disregard for classroom rules. He'll be scrubbing cauldrons every weekend for a month," Severus said as he got to his feet. "Let's have dinner."
"I can come back another night," Rachel offered.
"No, I spoke with Albus this morning and we should speak," Severus said, closing the door to his classroom and then leading the way into his quarters.
Rachel followed him and then sat down on the couch when he went to his armchair instead of to the dining table. "Professor Dumbledore thinks the Dark Lord is back and that what I saw was real, doesn't he?"
"He believes that what you saw was genuine and because of your connection to the Dark Lord, yes," Severus said.
"What do we do?" Rachel asked, unable to help the way a small jolt of fear went through her. "What are we supposed to do?"
"Albus believes that the Dark Lord's plan is to gain a body for himself. Obviously we will attempt to stop that from happening. He's requested that you write down as much as you can remember from those two dreams, with as much detail as possible. Not just what people said, but any details you can remember about the environment they were in," Severus said with a nod.
"It was just a room, I don't think anyone would be able to find it." Rachel frowned as she thought back. "They were different rooms though. I think they've moved locations."
"That's good information to have. If you can, after dinner, I'll have you write down the dreams and I will bring them to Albus, he may be able to offer more insight," Severus said. "I would also like to check the status of your occlumency."
"Isn't it just there all the time?" she asked.
"For most people occlumency is a conscious barrier they maintain. Some very powerful and very practiced people are able to maintain it at an unconscious level. For people like you and myself, where occlumency is a natural gift, once our barriers are in place they stay there without conscious direction," Severus explained.
"How would I know if the barrier wasn't there?" Rachel asked.
"Once you are taught to visualize the barrier and your mind, you will be able to check for yourself, but for right now I would like to check. I think we can assume if your barrier is currently active then it was active last night while you slept as well," he said.
"Meaning that however I'm seeing this stuff, it can go through occlumency barriers," Rachel realized out loud. "That's not supposed to happen, is it?"
"We don't believe that what the Dark Lord is doing is exactly legilimency. At this point Albus doubts the Dark Lord is aware of the connection. However, once the Dark Lord becomes aware of the connection we can expect that he will use it to attempt to exploit and manipulate you," Severus said, the lines on his forehead deepening.
"And if occlumency won't keep him out, then there isn't another way to keep him out?" Rachel asked.
"We don't know. You must understand that your curse scar and your connection to the Dark Lord is unique. There is nothing like it in recorded history." Severus shook his head. "We'll have to learn through experience. Do I have permission to check your occlumency?"
"Will it hurt?" Rachel didn't exactly mind if it did, she just wanted to know beforehand.
"No, it won't hurt. I want you to concentrate inward. Try to hear past your thoughts. I will be calling for you inside your mind. I want you to try to come toward the sound of my voice," Severus instructed.
"Come toward you, in my mind?" she asked, not sure if she had that right.
"Are you familiar with the concept of visualization?" Severus asked.
"Like, pretending to see things in your mind?"
"A bit like that, yes. When you hear my voice, I want you to picture me, as if you can see me calling to you. Then I want you to move in that direction, inside your mind," Severus said. "It may help you to visualize yourself too, that way you can picture yourself moving."
"Okay," Rachel said, though she still didn't know exactly what she was supposed to do.
"Look into my eyes," Severus said as he leaned forward.
Rachel met his gaze and waited. It was strange to stare at Severus and to try not to blink. After a moment she remembered she was supposed to be picturing things in her mind, but it was hard to picture Severus when she was staring straight at him. She didn't have to imagine him, he was right there. She tried to picture herself but didn't have much luck with that either. Maybe it was like meditating and she just had to practice it?
"Were you able to hear me at all?"
Rachel jolted in surprise. "No. You were in my mind? I didn't feel anything."
"I found your barrier and it looked just the same as it did three years ago. I think we can assume that your occlumency was active last night while you slept," he said as he sat back in his chair.
"What is my barrier like?" she asked.
"It is a large wooden surface that stretches out in each direction. Behind it is nothingness. It's a very direct barrier, most trained occlumens have moving barriers because they are more difficult to assail, and many people keep a layer of memories above their barrier, so that a legilimens might believe they have accessed the person's mind, while the memories they want to keep secret are protected," Severus explained.
"Does that mean that someone could break through my barrier?" Rachel asked.
"It's not impossible, no defense is perfect. However, given that your occlumency is natural, I don't suggest that we try it, at the very least not until you've been trained to access your own mind and assess your barrier," Severus said. "Did you have any more questions?"
"What do we do if the Dark Lord does get a body?" Rachel asked. It had been on her mind all day.
"I suspect then we will be forced to prepare for war," Severus said. "We will still be relatively safe here at Hogwarts and at our home."
Rachel wasn't sure she found that particularly reassuring.
"I will do everything that is within my power to protect you, and Albus will as well." Severus got to his feet. "Are you ready for dinner?"
"Can I have soup or something?" Rachel asked, not feeling up to a big Hogwarts meal.
"We can. Are you still feeling ill after last night?" Severus asked.
"No, I'm just not overly hungry," she said. She'd found that the more anxious she felt, the less she wanted to eat. It was like her stomach was in rebellion and would erupt at any moment if she pushed it too far.
"I will ask for the kitchens to send soup. Is there anything else you'd like?" he asked.
Rachel shook her head. There was nothing else she wanted that the kitchens could offer.
"Rachel, are you there?"
Rachel picked up the mirror that she'd placed on her bedside table. In his last letter Sirius had suggested that they speak that Saturday evening at seven. Millie had already gone back out into the common room to give Rachel some privacy.
"I'm here," she said, peering into the mirror. Her reflection vanished and was replaced with an image of Sirius.
Sirius smiled, clearly seeing her in his mirror as well. "It's good to see you. They don't give you nearly enough Hogsmeade weekends."
"Five isn't too bad," Rachel said. They generally had Hogsmeade weekends around Halloween, Christmas, Valentines Day, Easter, and then one in the summer right after final exams.
"It would still be nice to be able to see you more. I know Remus misses seeing you as well," Sirius said. "We'll have to arrange something over the summer."
"I'm sure Severus will let me visit," Rachel said. She'd have to be careful about how she asked, but she was relatively certain she could get him to drop her off at Sirius and Remus' place for a few hours again.
"He will, I'll make sure of it," Sirius said.
"I think it's better if I asked him." The last thing she needed was Severus and Sirius fighting.
Sirius chuckled. "You bat your eyes at him and get whatever you want, is that how it works?"
"No!"
Sirius laughed even harder. "Lily was like that. You just couldn't say no to her."
"Severus is just nice to me. I don't manipulate him or anything," Rachel said. She wondered a little bit about what Sirius had meant about her mother, but she was a little wary about hearing stories about her parents from Sirius now.
"I'm sure you don't, you're too nice for that, and that's why it works," Sirius said. "Lily was the same way. She was very kind to the people around her, but she also had no restraint in telling someone off if she thought they were hurting someone else. The number of times she hexed me and James."
Rachel thought that sounded mostly like a good thing, minus the hexing people part. "What have you and Remus been getting up to?"
"Oh, this and that. I accepted my seat on the Wizengamot, so now I'm dragged in once a month to hear the latest idiocy that passes for politics in our country." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fortunately they haven't asked me to sit on any trials. I don't think they're going to. I'm too much of a wildcard."
"Severus said that I'll have a seat on the Wizengamot once I'm old enough," Rachel said.
"James never did get a chance to take his seat. Old Fleamont died alongside Euphemia. Dragon pox outbreak, there were a number of deaths from it that year while the war raged. And not long after that James and Lily had to go into hiding," Sirius said, shaking his head.
"My grandparents," Rachel said, remembering the names from the genealogy spell that she'd done in her second year while trying to prove she wasn't the Heir of Slytherin.
"They were good to me. Treated me like their own son. I had to leave my family during my fifth year at Hogwarts. I...I couldn't stay." Sirius looked almost lost as he gazed out of the mirror.
Rachel frowned, wondering if Sirius' family had been like the Dursleys. "Is your family still around? Do we need to do something about them?"
Sirius laughed again, but it sounded hollow. "No. They're long dead, most of them. My parents. My brother. I have cousins. Narcissa, who I believe you've met."
"Draco's mother? That makes Draco...not your nephew, but not your cousin either?" Rachel asked, not entirely sure what someone's cousin's child was called.
"First cousin, once removed," Sirius clarified. "How is Draco? As dark as his parents?"
"No, we're friends," Rachel said. "We're on the Quidditch team together."
"Friends, huh? Look, I want you to be careful around him. You know his parents are both Death Eaters, right?" Sirius asked.
"I know. But Draco's not a Death Eater," Rachel said.
"Not yet. I don't know that he'll have much choice in the matter," Sirius said. "Anyway, cousins. Bellatrix, she's in Azkaban along with her husband and brother-in-law. And finally Andromeda. She and I had lunch the other day. Her daughter is a little bit older than you, she's training to be an auror. And that's the family, what's left of us."
It was a little weird to think that Sirius' cousin had tortured Neville's parents. Families were hard.
"I haven't even asked how you're doing," Sirius said.
"I'm okay," Rachel said, recognizing that it sounded a little lackluster even as she said it.
"Worried about the third task or something else?" he asked.
"A lot of things." She ran her hand across her forehead and adjusted her glasses. "It's just been a bit of a hard month. We're just starting preparing for exams, and I'm learning spells for the third task, and, well, all the rest of it."
Sirius nodded. "Anything I can do to help?"
"Well, I do have one question for you, but it's not really related to anything," Rachel said.
"Ask anyway."
"I'm kind of struggling with the third animagus meditation. I don't know what I'm looking for. How am I supposed to recognize my soul?" It had been frustrating her for a few weeks now and she knew the rest of the group was struggling with it too.
"You're thinking about it a little bit too concretely," Sirius said. "You aren't going to lay there and then see something and realize 'that's my soul', it's not like that. Your soul is all encompassing. It is in every part of you and everything you think and do is both a reflection of your soul and changes your soul."
"Changes it? Your soul can change?"
"Oh, yes. Think of it this way. It's a little bit like the ocean. The tides come and go, and everything the ocean touches is changed by it, but everything that goes into the ocean changes it as well," Sirius explained.
Rachel wasn't so sure about the analogy, but she thought she got the basic idea. "How do we know for sure that we have souls?"
"Well, there are spells you can use to see them, for one thing. But for the most part, they're just there. Why wouldn't they be? For the meditation, what you're trying to recognize is the very essence of yourself. Focus on your breathing and realize that every action you take affects what's around you and that in turn affects you. That's the first step. Then recognize yourself as being a separate entity from what's around you. How are you different? What makes you you? For most people this one is the hardest meditation, but it's also the most important," Sirius said with a short nod.
"Because we need to retain our humanity even in our animal form. Does that mean that animals don't have souls?" she asked, glancing at where Midnight was sleeping at the end of her bed.
"They do, but their souls are different, which is why recognizing your own soul is so important," Sirius said. "Try just working on the breathing for now, we'll come back to the rest."
Rachel nodded.
"Anything else going on in your life that I should know about?"
There were lots of things going on in Rachel's life, but she couldn't see herself talking to Sirius about the trials or about her dreams of the Dark Lord. "I just want the third task to be over with."
"It will be. You're doing good to prepare yourself now. What is the third task, by the way?"
"We'll find out at the end of May. Right now I'm just practicing offensive and defensive spells," Rachel said, not wanting to bring up the fact that she knew what the third task was. She wasn't sure how good Sirius was at keeping secrets.
"That's probably the best you can do for now. Use the mirror day or night if you need me. I'm almost always around, and if I'm not, Remus usually is," Sirius said.
"I will, but I'm okay," Rachel said.
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Alright. Go enjoy your Saturday night. Do something silly in the common room. Do Slytherins even have parties?"
"Way too many parties," Rachel said, smiling even as she shook her head.
"Good, then go party, drink a butterbeer or something. Take care of yourself."
"I will. You too, Sirius. We'll talk again soon," Rachel said, though she had no intention of partying.
"We will, don't think I'll let you forget. Go have fun," Sirius said, smiling at her.
"Goodnight, Sirius." Rachel watched as the mirror turned back into her reflection.
It was good to get to talk to Sirius, but it was a little draining at the same time. She tucked the mirror away and went to go join Millie in the common room. It had been a little while since she'd taken the evening off.
"Has your scar hurt since we spoke last?" Severus asked.
Rachel put down her fork. Steak and kidney pie wasn't her favorite to begin with anyway. "No. I would have come to you, like you asked."
"And you've had no strange dreams even without your scar hurting?" he asked.
"No, just the usual ones." Her nightmares had not yet gotten better since they'd gone to the trial two and half weeks ago. She was starting to think that she'd have to give up and tell Torey.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Rachel drinking from her goblet of pumpkin juice and picking at her bread roll while Severus ate. She could feel his gaze on her and it was more than a little uncomfortable.
"There is something that I'd like to speak with you about, however I do not know if this is the right time to do it," Severus said, setting down his own fork.
Rachel looked at him. "You realize that you now have to tell me, otherwise I'm just going to worry about it?"
"It's about the trials. I received a letter from Tim," he said, his gaze unwavering. "Do you wish to have this discussion now or at a later time?"
Rachel set down her goblet. She felt like she didn't want to have this discussion at any time, but just like going to the trial, it also felt like she had to. "Now, I guess. Did something go wrong with the trials?"
"No. According to Tim they went as expected. Adam Wells received a sentence of twenty five years, though Tim indicates he may get away with serving as little as ten. John Faber, who was the person running the organization, received forty years, though he indicated Faber's solicitor is appealing the decision. There were two more trials for other people associated with the group, each of them received twenty years. There will be more trials for the men who made use of their services, or who brought children to them," Severus explained.
"They don't know about my uncle, right?" Rachel asked, her chest feeling like her heart had just skipped several beats.
"Not that I'm aware of, no. I did not tell Tim about your uncle, though there is still the opportunity to do so if you wish to," he said.
Rachel quickly shook her head. Never. As far as she was concerned it was over and done with and she didn't want anything more to do with it.
"I will respect your wishes in the matter," Severus said.
She sat and stared at her mutilated steak and kidney pie. She knew it was a good thing that those people were in prison, it meant they couldn't continue to do that to other children. At the same time her mind kept going back to Leander. It was different with him. And Azkaban was certainly different from the muggle prisons that those men were being sent to.
"Why is Leander in Azkaban?"
Severus, who had gone back to his dinner, set down his silverware again. "Because what he was doing, both to you and the other girls he victimized, was wrong. He had to be stopped. Even if he were only expelled from Hogwarts, that would have allowed him to hurt other children."
"Aren't there spells or potions or something that could stop him from doing that to other people?" she asked.
"I don't know of anything that would do that, outside of placing him under the Imperius curse. Why does it bother you that he's in Azkaban?" Severus asked.
"Because he's being tortured in there," Rachel said, unable to help the sharp tone to her words.
"I expect Black has told you something of his experiences in Azkaban," he said.
"I didn't need anyone to tell me that torture is wrong," Rachel said firmly, meeting Severus' gaze for a moment before quickly looking down at her lap. For a moment she had forgotten that Severus had been a Death Eater, that he'd at least witnessed people being tortured, if not actively inflicted that torture himself.
"There were not any other options," Severus said after a long moment of silence. "Azkaban is the only wizarding prison in Britain and people are only sent there after causing harm to another person, particularly when it is likely they will harm more people if they are left free."
Rachel sat still, finding that she was somehow out of breath. "Are all wizarding prisons like Azkaban?" she asked finally.
"I don't know. The only other wizarding prison that I'm familiar with is Nurmengard, where Grindelwald is imprisoned."
"Grindelwald is still alive?" Rachel asked. She was surprised considering she had heard that Professor Dumbledore had defeated Grindelwald - she had assumed he'd killed him.
"He is still alive," Severus said. "Rachel. It is not your fault that Leander is in Azkaban. He made choices that led him there."
"But I'm the one who told you about what he did." She met his eyes again, trying to make him understand. "If I hadn't-"
"If you hadn't he would have used the opportunity to hurt you again. He was watching you all year, waiting for the right moment to get you alone. This did not happen because of chance or impulse. He was planning on it." Severus grimaced and reached for his glass of wine.
Rachel shivered and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "He said that?"
"Yes, in his testimony, which he gave via Veritaserum. I can't tell you why Leander did what he did. Only he can answer that. But he did know that what he was doing was wrong or he wouldn't have tried to conceal it," Severus said. He sighed and looked into his glass. "I don't know how to make this easier for you."
"You can't," Rachel said. What Severus had revealed bothered her more than she wanted to admit. The idea that Leander had spent all year watching her, waiting until she wasn't with Millie or Theo, was disturbing and made her think of all the times Leander had held her back after their potions study session to talk to him. Had he really been trying to do that the entire year?
"I am doing the best I know how to protect you and provide for you. If you want, I can speak to Torey, to see what she recommends about you receiving more help," he said, setting down his glass with a loud clink.
"No, I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You cannot sit there and say these things and then tell me that you are fine!"
Rachel stared at him. She didn't think she'd ever seen him this upset. She wasn't even sure what exactly she had said that had done it. "I think I should go. Dinner is just about over and Millie and Theo will be waiting for me."
"No," Severus said firmly. "We are not finished with this conversation."
The longer this conversation went on the more Rachel felt the need to run from the room. Her chest was hurting and she did not want to have an anxiety attack in front of Severus. "What do you want me to say?" she finally asked.
"The truth," he said.
"You think I'm lying?" Rachel asked, her voice hitching and her heart now hammering with panic.
"I think that when you are telling me that you're fine you are either delusional or you're lying to me," Severus said.
She splayed her hand against her chest, trying to get her breathing back under control. "I am fine. Ask Torey, she'll tell you that I'm fine."
"You think I don't ask Torey?" he asked.
"You didn't tell her about the trials," Rachel pointed out, grasping for what little ammunition she had.
"Which was a mistake on my part, one I will not be making again," Severus said firmly.
"I don't even know why you're mad at me." Rachel winced as she got the words out. It now felt like her throat was burning and she desperately wanted to leave.
Severus leaned back in his chair, his mouth dropping into a tired frown. "I am not mad at you. I am worried."
"Why?" she asked again.
"Because I don't think you understand how serious this is and I want you to have the best possible chance of protecting yourself and staying safe."
Rachel stared at him. It was like they were speaking entirely different languages. "I am staying safe. I stay with my friends. You're teaching me defensive spells. I don't know what you want," she said, rubbing at her throat.
"That is besides the point," he said. "You have to understand that what Leander did to you, and what the people your uncle was taking you to, what they did was wrong and it hurt you. Those people are dangerous and need to be kept away from other people so they don't hurt anyone else again."
"I know," Rachel said quietly. She did know that. She just didn't think they deserved to be tortured, and after experiencing the Dementors firsthand no one could convince her that purposeful exposure to Dementors wasn't torture. "What spell am I learning tonight?"
"You haven't eaten your dinner," Severus said.
"I can't eat right now." She was absolutely certain that nothing but air was going to fit down her throat for the next little while. It still hurt just to swallow and breathe.
"Perhaps soup? I can order some from the kitchens."
Rachel shook her head. "Not right now. What spell am I learning tonight?"
There was a long silence. Severus' frown was heavy as he watched her. "The Deflection charm."
"Okay, I'm ready," she said, pulling out her wand. This was the only thing she could do right now. It would have to be enough.