MASTER's Folder
Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid or any and all official/fan-made characters. The official Vocaloids known are created by the companies of Yamaha, Zero-G Ltd., Crypton Future Media, PowerFX, INTERNET Co.,Ltd, AH-Software, Ecapsule, Bplats, Inc., Ki/oon Records, Sony Music Distribution Inc., Vocalomakets, SBS Artech, Surfer's Paradise, Studio Deen, VocaTone, Voctro Labs, 1st PLACE, MoeJapan, and Vocanext. I also do not own any fan-made Vocaloids, UTAUs, or any Vocaloids that have been accepted by Crypton Future Media. I however only own my two Vocaloid fan-mades, Ishtal Sekai/Rin, and myself if I ever insert myself as the "MASTER".
Author's Note: This is just a collection of one-shots that don't fit anywhere else, or have no space within the ever-complex workings that is my mind. As you can tell already, this folder contains miscellaneous Vocaloid stories (crossover-related or not) that I test-run or just create on a whim that may or may not have a back-story plotline, or are challenges made by others which I answer.
Vocaloid Blotter 5
A mini-series of "reports" as seen on this website and inspired by the Headlines segment featured on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Some are re-worded while others are completely made-up.
TV Guide Listings
Scrubs – Hospital Staff are under lock-down during a virus scare. (CC)
Futurama – Space Pilot 3000. Philip J. Fry awakens 1,000 years in the future, after falling into a Cryogenic Tube and freezes himself. (CC)
The Vocaloid & Me – Kaito, a College Med-Student, falls in love with a Danish. NEW (CC)
FOR SALE: Lower Vocaloid-made Mannequin, life-sized Hatsune Miku. Used once or twice. Asking Price is ¥1,947.041 ($25). Call me at (800) 555-5555.
CARS FOR SALE: 2003 Roda Rola: Special features includes a top speed of 120 mph, double recline seat, vibrator function, three-speed shift stick, and it brakes on a dime. ¥194,704.056 ($2,500)
As Seen On TV (not really): It's called the HEAD TENT. It's a tent that covers only your head! Use it for camping or hiding from the shame of the sex photo scandal of you and some blond-haired shota leaked onto the internet.
(IMAGE: Kaito with a yellow camping tent hiding his entire head and face... blue scarf conveniently censors crotch.)
Business Section: New business started by the Shion Akaito & Gakupo Brothers.
A WHOLE HAULING & TREE SERVICE
(352) 697-XXXX
Website: www(dot)(Censored)(dot)(Censored)
ACE HARDWARE AD (of the day)
Roda Rola Construction Vehicle, ¥194,704.056 ($2,500)
Note: 2-ton steam roller pin, engine, body, engine, and Kagamine Rin/Len not included.
Police Blotter: Saturday, Jan. 22, 1:30 a.m.
A staff member at local high school in Sapporo reported to local police that a unidentified male came in his office and began a conversation.
VOCAcest Toy Camera: Brand new. ¥23,364.487 ($300) firm (only used once). Also comes with a green iron-wrought and glass-top coffee table, with 2 matching end tables and BDSM Set. Call at this number if interested: 845-298-XXXX
MAN/SHOTA HOT TUB Looking for a romantic evening? A man/shota hot tub for sale. Original price was seventeen hundred USD, now just looking for a buyer at cheap price of fifteen yen. Please Call 345-XXX-XXXX
Kaito was out the door before his ice cream hit the ground abandoned and crying (why was ice cream crying?).
"What the hell?"
Meiko looked at the morning papers, before spotting what got Kaito all worked up.
"I think Kaito's going to do something odd again," she said, pointing the wanted ad to Miku, who was gazing over her shoulder.
HAVE SEX! NOW! Not getting laid enough? Then you NEED my car! Red (hot) 1999 (new) Saturn (trendy) SCI (sporty)! This babe's loaded with: CD Stereo, A/C/, power everything, spoiler, security system & maintenance plans! She's in excellent condition. Also had third door (chicks dig and guys find it awesome). Only 20K miles, and this is my personal guarantee: if you buy my car, and in the first week of owning my car you don't get laid, I will personally pay you twenty thousand yen! Call 890-123-4567 now! Or see at this Address listed below.
They look at the address, and then at each other.
"Cop bait," they speak.
Miku stares again at the address. "Should we catch him before he gets arrested again?"
"... Nah... I think we could use some quiet again..."
POLICE: Drunk Woman Calls 110 From Back Seat Of Patrol Car
SAPPORO – Sapporo Police say an intoxicated brunette of the VOCALOID BAND, being driven to her Vocaloid Home on Cherry Blossom Lane called the police and claimed they were kidnapping her while being disorderly and attempting numerous times to escape back of squad car. At the end, the woman was arrested for vandalism and destruction of city property, and spent a night sobering up in jail.
~(:] Classifieds [:)~
Good Things to Eat: GARDEN MANURE – Heaping pickup truck load, aged horse, $50 delivered. (CENSORED TELEPHONE NUMBER)
Haku Blow-up Doll – Used once. Asking for twenty American dollars or whatever you have in your pockets with a large cup of soda (Pepsi, half-ice) from McDonalds. See me behind Sapporo High School.
Cat Ears – Stolen from SeeU's head. Ten yen.
POLICE: Hypnotized theft victim?
6:15 p.m. – A man said someone stole his blue scarf from around his neck while he was enjoying a half gallon of ice cream at the local Wi-Fi Café. He believed someone must have hypnotized him.
Strange Report: 5:53 p.m. – A West Sapporo resident, female, was making strange noises into the telephone. Later it was discovered she was having sex and she accidentally butt-dialed on cell phone. Police are still looking for the female believed to be Akita Neru.
At 6:30 p.m. Wednesday, a man reported two vehicles driving side by side with baseball bats seen inside on the back seats. When an officer investigated, he learned the drivers were going to play baseball with the Vocaloids at the annual Vocalofest.
NEW VOCALOID STARS ARRIVE IN TOKYO!
Tokyo, Japan – New reports of the latest Vocaloid of the Stars winners are scheduled to arrive in Tokyo for an interview on Japan's number one talk show. Several fans comment on Face Book and through YouTube videos how many felt about the new stars entering the VOCALOID BAND family. One such fan was drunk when this interview was made, but the writers just assume former Vocaloid Star Yowane Haku was jealous and drunk.
The next day...
BREAKING NEWS! LEN IS MY BABY'S DADDY!
Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan – Yes folks it's true. Popular VOCALOID BAND member and male Kagamine twin, Len, was discovered to be in a committed relationship with latest Vocaloid of the Stars winner Mew. SEE PAGE 4 FOR MORE.
The reason not many people knew of this was because it was run in the papers, and not reported on the internet back when the VOCALOID BAND was once known as simply Vocaloid, with the original members Leon, Lola, Meiko, and Kaito. The local headlines on the papers were of this: TOP-GRADE TEEN GIRLS SOUGHT FOR NEXT VOCALOID OF THE STARS CONTEST.
And that's how Miku got her job as a Vocaloid Singer, and how the Vocaloids and its large source of fandom began to spread across the rest of the world, and invade the music scene.
USED CHOCOLATE covered gourmet snacks. All of the rich Dutch and European chocolates has been removed during a private act with the Shota Boys Band (Len, Piko, Mikuo) and the peanuts and other crap within were put back into their individual wrappers and stored back in the gold-papered heart-shaped box. Give your Valentine a previously sweet treat. 309-693-XXXX
For Sale
Gakupo's Sword. Partially licked. Only eight days old since stolen. Sheath still intact. $23.00 obo. Call 208-253-XXXX
1/13 1x
HALF Bottle of Shampoo Works well, good scent. 50 cents in U.S. currency. Contact Len or Rin's male gender-bent form (whatever his name is).
PERSONALS: MAN LOOKING FOR COMPANION: 26 yrs. Old, blue hair, looking for a discrete, intimate relationship with a male companion, between 10 and 18 may apply. If interested call KAITO.
My Goodness of the Day: An impressive purloiner uses her shipbuilding thighs to take shoplifting Guinness to a whole new level.
(IMAGE: Fat MEIKO cosplayer with poor costume and wrong hair style/color trying to thief away with Vocaloid merchandise.)
USED CARS AD
2005 S2000 COVERTIBLE
6-Speed, 7,191 miles, Faster than Meiko's Binge Drinking... #3897 $2,000
Condom found in Len Kagamine Figurine Box
Davenport, Iowa – Local Davenport resident discovered a condom inside his VOCALOID figurine box when delivered by international shipping mail. When this was reported, the local only had this to say, "Well, looks like Len's in trouble again."
=0=0=
Sekai looks from his computer.
"What?" He says to you, "that last one's not real, but it would be funny as fuck if it DID happen to you."
"Len! The condom broke!" came the shout from Rin upstairs.
"Again? Why can't we just fuck bare and everything?"
"I rather not play Russian Roulette with your non-protected dick," was the reply.
Sekai face palms, as Len is heard saying he'll just use another one from his figurine collector box if she was worried about getting pregnant.
Funnies and random stuff. Brought to you by my imagination. Please review~ :D