A/N: This will only make sense to readers of "The Watermelon Saga" short stories (found here in "The Little Ones," collected in one place on my Tumblr). Have some humor.
This is also a last-second entry into Sharper the Writer's KP 20th Anniversary fanfic contest.
Melon Musings
Drakken was silent yet grinning proudly as he and Shego walked side-by-side in the park, a cool breeze blowing the leaves of the surrounding trees as the sun just began its dip in the sky. The reason for his pride was twofold on that day, the first and a daily source of fulfillment being Shego on his arm. The second reason was that her large baby bump was shown off unashamedly in the teal dress she wore.
Save for their atypically-hued skin drawing the attention of passersby, they could have passed for any other expecting couple, she with his jacket around her shoulders and he carefully assisting her steps with her hand in his, her bump obscuring the path ahead of them.
"It's still too...pretty," Shego said, her expression twisted in a concerned grimace.
Drakken took a deep breath to speak, his grin broadening, but Shego cut him off.
"I know, I know. You like pretty stuff."
Drakken observed the pattern of the maternity dress his mother had gifted to Shego. Quite unlike the clothing of the older generation, this dress was modern and becoming with a spray of daises at the hem, petals fluttering up the teal skirt as if lifted by the wind. There was a narrow sash with a demure bow just below the bust, and a few decorative buttons at the center up to the scoop neckline and wide straps of the dress.
It was incredibly becoming from Drakken's point of view, and he knew that while Shego didn't want to admit to it, dresses were far easier to wear in the third trimester.
He was contemplating the best response when a familiar shock of red hair caught his attention with a sudden alarm being raised in his head.
"Drakken...is that...?"
Shego had noticed too, and as they continued down the path they exchanged a glance as they both saw that it was indeed Kim Possible and her one-time side-kick turned boyfriend now...or apparently husband, if the glint of gold on their fingers was any indication. Another was the small but unmistakable bump similar to Shego's the younger woman possessed, plainly visible from where the two sat on a blanket on a lawn enjoying a picnic.
The younger couple noticed their approach a moment later, and there was a tense moment where the four regarded each other in uncertainty. They hadn't had much contact since the invasion incident and it was strange to Drakken to see the pair, while still young, clearly in a more mature and grounded phase of life.
They had walked to within ten feet of the seated duo and Stoppable opened his mouth in greeting, but something else caught Drakken's attention first, his focus shifting entirely.
Among their picnic meal was a large watermelon cut in half with some divots in one section where a spoon had been used to carve out some of the liquid-rich fruit onto their plates. Possible was currently eating a piece of the dripping, red fruit, licking her lips where the juice had dribbled off of her fork and was escaping toward her chin.
"Dr. Drakken! Shego!" was Stoppable's nervous but gleeful cry of welcome. The young man stood up, his pet naked mole-rat on his shoulder.
Instincts of panic and a need to impress overtook the blue-skinned man, and he drew himself up to full height.
"Don't...! You can't stop me this time, Kim Possible, my plan is—"
"Ohhh when did you two get hitched?" Stoppable said, grinning at Shego's baby bump. "Would it be presumptuous to guess about nine months ago?"
"Why— You—! Neghn!"
"Just hush," Shego whispered to him through gritted teeth. "And keep walking."
It was a decent plan, but the young man was in front of them, barring their path in an instant.
"As you can see, KP and I have also tied the knot," Stoppable said, grinning proudly at his bride who was standing up, plate of watermelon still in hand. He stepped back to set an arm around her and then gestured to the swell of her belly with a proud grin. "Got this little surprise on our honeymoon!"
"Ron!"
"Yep, life has certainly changed since the invasion..." the young man continued with a dreamy smile, and then he leaned forward to nudge Drakken's arm and winked at him. "For the better. When did you two receive your...surprise?"
Drakken cleared his throat, blushing at the youth's lack of decorum.
"Unlike you, we received an education on protection," Shego said idly, her eyes straying from Kim's baby bump up to the plate of fruit which she frowned at.
Drakken's brow twisted and he leaned down to whisper in Shego's ear.
"But we didn't use— Ow!"
The blond-haired man grinned and chuckled nervously, and something about the look in his eye suggested there was more to the story about the child they were expecting. But Drakken had no interest in hearing anything about it. His concern was the way Shego's frown kept deepening the more she looked at the giant halves of watermelon on the picnic blanket and the plate that the red-haired woman continued to enjoy in front of them.
"So, ah...you two are obviously...doing well," Possible—or, Drakken supposed her last name was Stoppable now—asked, her mouth full.
"We are," Drakken said emphatically.
"I see... Traded in world domination for the domestic life," Ron mused with a grin. "Yeahhh... We've had to put the world-saving aside now that we're expecting. But I do miss the good old days. Blowing up your lair in the Caribbean... Blowing up your invisible lair..."
"Losing your pants," Shego said with a half-smirk, her eyes still fixed on the watermelon.
"It can be a turn-on," Kim quipped, smirking at Shego. "Although sometimes they get caught on...something."
Ron blushed nearly as red as the watermelon and began cackling anxiously at a painfully loud volume, while his mole-rat hid its face in shame.
Drakken looked anywhere but at the young couple, hoping Shego's quip of reply wouldn't be at his expense. The mole-rat then hopped to Kim's shoulder and whispered something in her ear, seeming to save them as it clearly suggested a subject change.
"Would you two, ah...like to...join us?" Kim asked, forcing a grin and fixing the two with a look of almost challenge.
"We've got pickles!" Ron said too loudly again, sitting back down and pulling one from a large jar.
Drakken looked uneasily between the young couple and his wife's increasingly unsettled expression. He needed to steer Shego back to their walk before something drastic occurred.
"No, no thank you, you see we—"
"That's a lot of watermelon for just two people," Shego said, wearing a calm smile that Drakken knew from experience was a herald of potential danger. The comment he had feared clearly wasn't going to come, as something more sinister was definitely in her mind.
"Oh, that's one of KP's newest pregnancy cravings," Ron said. "At first it was peanut butter, cheese, and pickles. But with the money I spend making these babies..."
Drakken then noted the custom label on the jar, featuring none other than the naked mole-rat as a mascot.
"It took forever to find something she liked more," the blond finished.
"I'll admit, this is much better," Kim said with a half-smile as she took another bite of the red fruit. "I never knew how great these things were. So...when's the big day?"
"That's your pregnancy craving?" Shego asked incredulously, unable to pretend anymore.
"Oh yeah, it was crazy. We've gone through six of these in just three days!"
Shego's eyes narrowed while Drakken observed the possessive way Ron was holding onto his pickle jar. He wondered how many jars of the homemade salty delights had been devastated before a substitute craving had been found.
"We've got another five months to go, but Shego you look almost ready to pop!" Ron said, his good humor returning. "Are you excited about being parents? I'm glad we've got so much time because I...don't feel quite ready yet, but I've got plenty of people to ask for advice. Hey! I can ask you two since you're so far ahead of us! So...do you guys have like, a house now? Or do you still live in a lair?"
"Ron..." Kim whined.
"You ah, really like those, do you?" Shego asked again, the calm smile still on her face as she gestured to the watermelon halves.
"Are the pickles more expensive?" Drakken asked before Kim could reply.
"Than the watermelons? Actually...no. But," the blond young man chuckled, "how long can pregnancy cravings last?"
Before another word could be spoken, Shego had crouched down gracelessly and hefted up both halves of the massive watermelon and was striding away before the younger couple could process what was going on.
"Hey... Hey! What's she doing!?" Kim asked, standing up again.
Drakken watched for a moment as his wife hurried away, the younger man standing up too in confusion while his pet perched upon his shoulder and shook a fist at the quickly vanishing very pregnant woman. Before the young couple could move, Drakken stepped forward and grabbed Ron by the shoulders and fixed him with a look of disdain. The youth stared at him in question until he finally gave a withering sigh.
"Good luck," he said simply, and then ran down the path after Shego.
Ron and Kim stared after the pair for a moment and then looked at each other in bewilderment.
"What...what was that, exactly?" Ron asked.
Kim took the jar of pickles out of Ron's hands and sat back down before plucking one out of the jar, a small gasp of protest leaving his lips.
"Who knows."
"Shego! Shego, we have watermelon at the lair!"
"She has my pregnancy cravings... Got pregnant on the first pop... Still looks cute in a mini-dress..."
Drakken took a moment to process Shego's thoughts as he caught his breath and then nearly stumbled as she shoved one of the watermelon halves into his hands. He glanced over his shoulder, but their nemeses... Former nemeses? Weren't following.
"What are you talking about?" he panted.
Shego stopped in the middle of the path and stared down at the watermelon. When she spoke again, the words were so quiet and said through grinding teeth that Drakken struggled to hear them.
"She really is all that..."
Drakken looked at the slump of Shego's shoulders, the way she was staring unblinking at the desired fruit, and how her jaw was being held so tensely he worried she would sprain something. He also couldn't help but notice how lovely she looked with her hair and skirt flowing in the cool breeze.
"I'm the one who...who is supposed to be upset by that," he finally answered, his voice soft and understanding.
Shego looked up at him, startled from the thoughts she'd begun drowning in.
"Are you worried she'll be better than you at...at motherhood?"
Shego's eyes widened slightly before she stared back down at the watermelon half.
"Drakken..." she began, her throat tight, but it was as far as she got.
He grimaced and then carefully took the second half of watermelon from her and set both on a nearby picnic table where they wobbled slightly in the wind. He met her quizzical look with a warm smile and then wrapped her in his arms, the smell of apples and jasmine from her hair mixing with the darker but spicy scent of his cologne and the leather from his jacket that was still around her shoulders.
"She has always been...everything I should have been," Shego said into his shoulder.
The revelation was something he'd heard in pieces over the years, but to hear Shego say it outright was a surprise. Drakken thought for a long moment as Shego's emotions, brought to the surface by pregnancy hormones, were barely held under control.
"I used to think...I wanted someone like that," he said carefully.
Shego pulled back to look at him, her eyes narrowed in confusion.
"What?"
"When I was young. To go with a cheerleader would have meant...everything. But...nothing about her, or women like her... Nothing about them is you."
Shego continued looking at him uncertainly, and he ran his fingers through her hair and set another hand on her large belly where it pressed against him.
"I had a...mental image of what I thought I always wanted. A cookie-cutter caricature of a woman. Until...until you," he said with a smile.
Shego's smile grew, and her eyes shone with un-shed tears. But Drakken suspected they were of happiness now.
"Sure you're using those big words right?" she asked with a shaky laugh.
"You taught me how to use them," he said jokingly. "And, Shego...you're going to be an amazing mother."
She stood up on her tiptoes and set her forehead against his.
"You'll be an amazing father, Drew Lipsky," she said before covering his mouth with hers in a kiss.
When they parted, Shego was grinning at him, and Drakken hesitated for the mischief in her eyes.
"There's just one thing wrong," she said.
"Shego... Forget about that...all-that teen," he said, his smile starting to fade.
"Not that," she said with a shake of her head. "What's wrong is...you don't taste like watermelon."
With that, she let go of him and went to go sit at the picnic table. Drakken grimaced, but then followed her with his own teasing grin.
"Funny, I was about to rejoice that you don't."
"Watch out, you're gonna fill your big-words quota for the day."
"Why don't you fill your mouth instead," he quipped back.
"I would, but in public that might get us arrested."
Drakken's jaw worked up and down and he spluttered out nonsense syllables for a moment as Shego dug in her purse for a plastic fork.
"I meant the watermelon!" he finally managed.
"I know," Shego said, handing him a second fork as she stabbed into the fruit with hers. "Now make yourself tasty."
"Thought I was already tasty..." he muttered.
"Thought I was too," she replied, but she was smirking and already chewing on a large bite of the ripe, red fruit.
"Shego..."
She chuckled at his whine of protest and silenced him by lifting his fork and stuffing a large piece of watermelon into his mouth.
"Drakken. Thank you."
He looked up to see the genuine gratitude and affection in her eyes, and any hint of irritation he felt melted in an instant.
"You know..." he said once he'd swallowed the heinous fruit. "That dress really is very becoming."
"So...you don't want me to take it off when we get back to the lair?" she said, waggling her eyebrows.
Drakken snorted and blushed.
"Eat your watermelon."