now, let'd turn a little for the comedy part and introduce a little sol-chapter about mama Kyou finding out about his son's adventure. I dunno, this chapter came out of nowhere, but I had such a great time writing it. It was very funny to write it. Anyway, the action will be continued in the upcoming chapters, as they'll try to create the new ORC, but for this chapter, a little comedy. So... Good read, stay golden, DxD does not belongs to me. Y'all know the drill. Smiley, smiley!
It goes without saying that I'm a terrible mother. I love every single one of Hajime's children, whatever they came from me or not, and harm them is a one-way ticket to hell for me, but I can't shake the feeling that being absent for the longest time will take a toll out of them, specially the little boy. Ichijou has been always surrounded by females, and for the run, Hajime is too busy being the everyday busy Businessman he is. And I can't simply ignore when he wants some honeymoon with me. That man is trying to hide and forget his problems by behaving himself like a teenager. That poor husband of mine.
Back to topic. Since I'm back to my dear home, Hajime traveling abroad to make up for our expensive vacations, I won't knock this time. After all, mommy's surprise visit and comeback are always welcomed by warm arms by my dear children, specially the small, snarky and frail Ichijou. Satsuki, Shion, Minatsu. None of them are my children, yet, I love them dearly, And sometimes I wonder if they return this feeling despite me being their longest step-mother. Not to mention that troublemaker I call my deear daughter Futaba. Well, she's still going to school, it's a given, I guess...
And now. I'm opening the door, ready to surprise my children and make some delicious meal with the oldest on-...
"I've said and I'll say again, Yoko-chan! You can't use grenades on my characters! You're spamming attacks!"
"Oh, well, if the producers didn't want the players to spam them, why they're there to begin with?"
"Fuck this game! Shitty spammer!"
"Don't you think frogs and ramens are a good take on the soup? Trust me, ninja knowledge! Not to mention some snake skin and toad warts...!"
"Hellsing-san! This is highly inappropriate!"
And instead of a warm welcome, I receive a mess of a wave of information. Two girls that I've never met are fighting and talking with my daughters about video-games and cooking, and none of the sides seems to be on a same level. This is such a mess. I don't even know what to do. Living with and loving five children since their birth is easy; dealing with such newcomers is going to be hard...
Before they could notice me, I turned around with the intention to close the door and let Satsuki explain the whole situation before letting me in. She has been always the responsible big sis, of course she would do just that for her poor mother.
But when I was about to turn around, that tiny, blond girl with a strange eyepatch appeared from the frame of the doorless passage with a stoic expression, and blinked twice.
"Oh, hello mother that looks like Moritaka Chisato." Okay, this is beyond healthy flattery. I'm not that pretty, am I? Before I could say at least a 'thank you', she came closer and hugged me. Wow... This is awkward. I thought, since I'm an adult, I would have the right response for this situation. Yet, I don't. And now, this little girl with a bow sniffed me. "Huuh~... Yes, this same scent. You're definitely the mother of my dear wife."
"H-Hah~?" First, she calls me a super-model, now she says that I'm the mother of her... Wife? "Excuse me, miss...?"
"Akabane Yoko is my name. But you can call me 'Yoko', dear mother."
"O-Okay, I guess. The name's Tsukino Kyou. You can call me 'auntie'."
"Tsukino Kyou..." She said, releasing me from her embrace and than facing me. She frowned soon after. "Tsukino Kyou... Hammer's spawn(Tsuchinoko)."
*BAM! BAM! BAM!*
"Always! This! Freaking! Name!" I hammered my own head against the nearest wall, trying and failing to calm myself after that. Of course, it's always like that. 'Tsukino Kyou' sounds a lot like 'demon Snake'! This is one of the only downsides in marrying that man. It's not the first time, and won't ever be the last!
"Oh, mother!"
"Oi, it's mother, everybody!"
"Hey, ya old hag. Welcome back."
"Hey there, Romi-Park-like Mama!"
"Hey, girls, I'm bac-..." It took a while, but my brain finally loaded a new information: there was another, unknown voice among Satsuki's, Minatsu's and Futaba, again flattering me with this absurd compliment. There she is! The tiny girl with green messy hair! What it's happening? "Who are you, lady?"
"Oh, right. Sorry about it." And she gave a chuckle, cracking her fingers with her thumb. "My name is Annabelle Hellsing. My friends and my friends' parents call me Belle. Nice to meet you, Mommy Tsukino."
"Yeah~... Nice to meet you, Belle. My name is Tsukino Kyou. Please, you can call me auntie."
"Tsukino... Kyou...?" She stopped midtrack to put herself on thought, and then her face paled. "Yamada no Orochi!"
"From where did you pull that off?!" I said, scratching my head and trying to pull all of my forces to contain myself and not punch that girl square in the face. Yep, maybe the psychologists are right, Ichijou and Futaba's violent genes came from me. I sighed, and pulled myself together. "Sorry. But that's not the case."
"I know. I was only joking around, mommy." She said with a mischievous smile, the colors returning to her face. I reached her head and pat her.
"Call me 'auntie', Annie."
"Hey, pet me too, dear mother." And the blonde entered my affection zone and bowed for me. I don't know what's with those girls, but I think they're okay for now. I reached her bow and pet her too.
"Okay, okay. But, please, call me Auntie, Yoko-chan." And when both girls were satisfied (I think I heard Yoko-chan purring.), I turned my attention to my true daughters... Oh, right. I forgot. Well, mom is mom. After a quick 'hello' to the girls in the living room playing video-games, I reached for the oldest one, Satsuki, and greeted her, seeing the big bowl of soup on the oven. "Hey, Go-chan. Soup, huh."
"Yes, mom. Or else the vegetables would rot. Not to mention, I think we've been eating too much meat. This or Futaba is finally emerging from her origins."
"Fuck you, Go! You tightass mama's girl!"
"Hey, Futaba! Watch that language!"
"Sorry... Whatever..." And now she sank in her seat on the sofa. Oh, my adorably stupid little daughter, how much I love you. I smiled at her, and she blushed even more. She doesn't hate me, and vice-versa, we only have a... Complicate relationship. I returned back to my oldest one and said in a whisper.
"Hey, Go. Who exactly are those two strangers? They're not your lost siblings, are they?" Satsuki then turns to me and take a quiet look on my face. Meh, you never know, do you?
"Those are... Ichijou's friends." I frowned a little at that. Only girls? Just girls? Truth to be told, I was expecting some boys around. After all. He lived his whole life with seven women, his father either abroad on work or going on a vacation with me. How curious...
Also, I think I'm missing the only boy around here. Shion is probably still on her job at the host club, but I don't see little Ichijou around. I hope he's okay. He has been always the fragile one and the temperamental one too.
"Oldest sis! Do you have some clothes to spar-... Oh!"
"Huh...?"
"..."
"..."
"Well, good night, mother that is probably Julia Roberts in disguise."
There's a naked foreign in my house! Why is there a naked foreign in my house?! And what the hell is wrong with those girls and their stupendous compliments?! She's all wet, too! She'll catch a cold! Quickly as possible, I dismissed my blazer and covered her with it. That wet floor is going to be a problem later, but not for now. I have three others to deal with first. A greenette one, a blond one and a redhead one.
"Uh... And you? Who are you suppose to be?" I asked her. She stopped messing with her hair and then smiled at me, bowing soon after.
"Oh, my bad. I mean, hello mother! My name is Berolina Gremory! I'm your son's king!" Oh, so Ichijou is into that stuff, huh? Kinky. I can't say anything myself, but this girl seems too innocent to be taking such role. Oh, teenagers. She politely bowed again. "Pleased to meet in your acquaintance."
"What...?"
"Nice to meet you."
"Oh..." Shit. I'm an adult and yet some of those complicate words mess with my head. I gotta say, her Japanese is perfect. And she's cute too. Whoever she is, Ichijou has a pretty good eye for women. I do recall someone called Gremory, but it's probably just an coincidence. "Nice to meet you, too. As you already probably guessed, I'm the mother of those trouble makers. Call me 'auntie Kyou', for what is worth."
"Kyou... Ichijou... Tsukino... Kyou... Tsukino Kyou... Jörmungandr!"
*PUNCH!*
"Enough of these Goddamn names!"
"Weeeeh! Does everybody in this house likes to hit me?" It took me a few seconds to realize that. I just punched a girl right in the head. Oh, crap. There's no excuse for this. I hope she doesn't hate me after that one. Who Am I kidding. I'll be luck if she doesn't press charges against me. Out of regret and pity, I tried to reach a hand by her head and pet her a little.
"I'm sorry, Rina-chan. I'm just still not used to be called anything and those nicknames are st-...!"
*DODGE!*
"What...?"
"Hyah!" And before I could pet her hair, she just back stepped away from my reach. She blinked a few times and then tighten her grip on my jacket, blushing a little and giggling. "S-Sorry, mother, but I don't like people messing with my hair. Trust me, I can turn pretty violent."
"Uhh~... Okay. But I'm sorry, Rina-chan. I'll make it up to you any day." Violent, playful and just plain cute. Not to mention those two other girls. Ichijou is either a very lucky man or just a walking timer-bomb. Is he trying to be like his father? I hope not. It didn't work on Hajime, it won't work on him.
"Atchoo!" Typical. Not a moment and she's on the verge of catching a cold. Rina-chan sniffed and scratched her little nose, probably trembling in that blazer on mine. I nodded to Satsuki and picked Gremory's shoulders, leading her upstairs.
"Let's go, Rina-chan. I think Ichijou has some spare clothes. You can use mine, too." And took a quick glance to inside my own coat, seeing how large her breasts are. Anywhere between C-D-cup. I'm on my forties, yet just a few centimeters away.
Youth... I hope Ichijou's taking good care of her. She's an easy target for perverts.
I picked up my luggage and then guided the redhead to Ichijou's room, and once there, I made her sit on his bed as I put my luggage next to her, opened it and search for anything for her to wear. Figures, I don't have anything for her to wear since it was a three-month honeymoon. Perhaps Ichijou's own clothes will work. Futaba is too... Tiny for her, and the others are either too big or too large for her to wear without an uncomfortable of ripped cleavage window. Ichijou seems more like it , he's skinny, but his shoulders are broad, so I opened his closet and picked up a few clothes.
A stripped boxer, a red shirt and some Black sweatpants. All of them well organized and well lined. Huh, my children... Oh, right... The children are doing well in being alone. To think I still remember wet blankets and awake nights just to wait for them to sleep after a nightmare. I extended the clothes to Rina-chan, and she dismissed my blazer and put those on.
A girl's wearing my son's clothing. Holy shit, I'm getting old...
"Better dry that hair up. I gotta say, you have a pretty hair, Rina-chan." I said, as I searched in Ichijou's closet for some towels. The redhead was playfully swinging her legs back and forth as she waited. She's probably wondering in being in a young man's room.
"Thank you, mommy. This is my most precious thing! It reminds me of my heroes!" Aw, how cute. She's either a Chunnibyou otaku or that hair reminds her of a relative or something. To think I see myself on Ichijou with those big green eyes and spiky brown hair of his. Damn it, where are the towels? This is a man's closet, it should be a lot easier to find things! "Looking for the towels? They're on the upper shelf!"
"Oh, right. Up there. Thanks, Rina-chan, and please call me auntie." I said to her, handing her that blue towel. I hope Ichijou doesn't mind. After all, she's a guest, somehow. Talking about it, I wonder where he is. "Say, have you seen Ichijou around? Go-chan is finishing dinner and I don't want him to be late."
"He's in the bathroom taking a bath. Don't worry, he'll be out soon."
"Ah, thank you, Rina-chan. He's taking a bath, huh? Makes sense, since... Wait a minute." Yeah! Wait a minute! He's... Taking a bath? So why is Rina-chan naked and wet? Wait, let me think...
Ichijou's bathing... Naked and soaked girl out of the bathroom... Machiko Kyo is the main star of Rashomon...
"Wait... Rina-chan... If you're naked and wet... This means...!"
"Oh, no! No! No! It's not what you're thinking, mother." She dismissed my own thoughts with a wave of her hand. I sighed in relief, but she yet continued. "He just washed my back and grope my breasts, nothing out of ordinary."
*BREAK!*
"..." Oh, what's that? My mind just shattered. I looked at the mirror, and yes, I'm still the same short haired, green eyed brunette of always. For a second I thought that I was already in my eighties because there's no way of my Ichijou to JUST GROPE A GIRL'S BREASTS WHEN HE WAS RESENTFUL ABOUT THEM JUST THREE MONTHS AGO! Teenagers are moody, I know that much, but that was a total 180° for him. Is this Hajime's plan? Darling, are you afraid of not having any descendants? But better mask this with a smile. Don't be the troublemaker mother. "R-Really...? My, aren't you two close? And when you say 'out of the ordinary', you mean as..."
"Yeah, we sleep together ever since. Also, I don't mind being naked in front of my servants." Awawawawah~, my son is having an active stud life with a foreign. Not to mention, he's the servant and she's the king. This is weird. I've always thought of him as the more dominant type. Oh my God, my son have some sick mind.
"R-Rina-chan... When you say 'servant'..."
"The ninja is also my servant. And I was wondering in putting the ninetails too, since she said that we can have an agreement if Ichijou's dragon powers are strong enough." 'Ninja', 'servant', 'ninetails', 'dragon powers', am I really that old? Is that how they're calling those nowadays? And now she said that the ninja is also joining... What the hell is all of this?!
"R-R-Rina-chan...!" I said, reaching for her and landing my hands on her shoulders, probably looking pathetic and desperate. I could feel I was trembling with all of this. There are some questions that don't need answers, but I want them anyway. So I gulped all of my pride and said. "Could you... Please explain... All of this for me? Please..."
"Oh, sure. It all started when..."
"GREMORY...!" BAM! The door exploded wide open, and the by the other side, there is my dear, twisted son Ichijou, blood in the eyes, wearing black sweatpants and a red shirt. He run-walked passing by me and picked Gremory by her collar to then pull her in front of him and force her to walk outside. "Out of my room! Go away before you can say something stupid to mum!"
"Eeh~? But I was going to explain for her about you being my que-...!"
"Out! Out! Go away and eat my sister's special dish OF VEGAN DOOM!" And now he kicked her out, closing the door and putting himself against it, letting himself slide to the ground, sighing. "Holy Molly... If Satsuki-nee didn't warn me about it... I don't want anyone traumatized anymore..."
"..." I stood there on the bed, looking at my dear son across the room. He had grown a little since I remember him. He looks healthier too. Too much boob overdrive, maybe?
"Oh..." And he lifted his eyes to stare at me. He gulped, and then turned purple, and then groaned, and then facepalmed. I know my son pretty well to know that he's thinking of an excuse or an explanation. It would be rude of him too if he leFt me in the blank. "Mum... I can explain."
"I know you can."
"But you won't understand."
"I know I won't."
"So... Uh~... Let's just say that girl, Gremory... Things happened... So she's staying with us... For the time being..." So much yet nothing is hovering around my head right now. Teen pregnancy, abusive household, slavery, kinky fetishes, LARP taken too far. My eye won't stop twitching, and I think I just break a stroke. Well, regardless of the situation, he's still my son, so I have to guide him to the right way, no matter how mess-up he is. I'm an adult, after all. "Damn it... Look, whatever it looks like..."
"It looks like what, Ichijou?"
"I don't know!" And he hid his own face and misery behind his hands. Yep, he's my son, alright. I came closer to him and bend over in front of that bush of brown messy hair. I pat him. "Jeez... Don't treat me like a child. I'm 16, now."
"You look like a child to me. Even if you already have a son with that redhead, I'd still think you're that bed-wetting baby of mine."
"Oh, shut it!" And now he tried to slap my hand away, but then I picked that assaulting arm pulled him in a half-hug, snuggling my face with his own.
"Take a joke once in a while, Ichijou." I said, smiling. "Do you ever smile, mr. grumpy bear? Geez..."
Instead of the usual blushed grunt, he blinked and gasped, and like a fish, he opened and closed his mouth a few times, only to turn his eyes gloomily to a side and sigh. Is he pondering about something? Great, now I've upset my youngest. I kissed him on the cheek and pinched it soon after.
"C'mon, son. Let's eat. I'll swallow everything as long as you can control whatever you're doing."
"I don't need you to be throwing innuendos at me too, mum."
Oh, my dear youngest child.