WARNING:

Chapter contains an attempted suicide by a supporting character, as well as discussions regarding suicide itself. Please skip if you're unable to read such a scenario and refer to the "TLDR" at the very bottom of the chapter instead.

The upsetting incident from the previous afternoon was still a raw wound in Gavin's mind as he struggled to accept that what had happened to him wasn't his fault. The pain in both his head and his heart, as well as the swollen broken nose and two blackened eyes staring back at him as he leaned against the sink in the bathroom, made such a prospect virtually impossible. Seeing himself so broken, beaten down, exhausted and overall pathetic made Gavin feel worse than he looked. The horrendous memories of being abused, bullied, targeted and assaulted were as vivid as if they had happened only seconds before, and such memories had been following Gavin throughout his entire childhood and well into adulthood.

Even after being taken care of and being shown compassion Gavin still felt as if he were worthless and didn't deserve anyone's assistance. He became a cop to help protect innocent people from the same abuses he had suffered as a child and young adult, yet he still failed to protect himself despite having training, experience and knowledge of how cruel and unforgiving the world could be.

Tracing his fingertips over the scar on his nose gave Gavin a nauseating pit in his stomach. Bowing his head down he tried to not think about what had happened and of the dark thoughts swirling inside his head like a black cloud.

"Gavin?" Hank's voice called out to the younger man through the closed bathroom door. Even though he personally didn't care that much for Gavin's attitude or lingering resentment toward androids, Hank couldn't turn off his paternal instincts as he worried for the younger man's health. "I'll drop ya' off at your apartment if you want to go. But I think you should either stay here for another day or go stay with Tina."

"...I'll be fine on my own." Gavin declined the offer as looked up at his reflection again. He still looked miserable and felt like Hell. "...I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay. We'll drop ya' off when you're ready to go."

Hank backed away from the door and walked down the hallway to check in on Connor. He found the deviant sitting on the couch with Lucky on his lap and Sumo leaning against his legs. The deviant was petting both animals and seemed to be lost in deep thoughts of his own.

"Connor?" Leaning over the back of the couch Hank sniffed once to keep his sinuses clear in the aftermath of his cold. "Are you feeling okay? You seem distracted."

"I am... thinking."

"I can see that." The senior detective quipped with a knowing tone. "What're you thinking about?"

"It's complicated to explain." Looking up at Hank for a moment Connor continued to use his fingers to comb through Lucky's thick fur as if needing to use her presence as a means of easing his nervous tic. "Last night a few more memories were restored during my rest mode, but I do not have any context to understand them."

"Oh?" Rubbing his palm over his bearded chin Hank gave Connor a rather nervous glance. "What did you remember?"

"You and I were in CyberLife Tower at one point. I believe it was on the night of the Revolution." Needing some confirmation Connor gave Hank a curious look. "Am I correct?"

"Yeah..." It was the one memory Hank hoped Connor never recovered. "We were inside the tower on the night of the Revolution."

"Then my memory is correct." Connor seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as he nodded slightly in affirmation. "That's good."

"Worried that something might not come to you?"

"I'm worried that my memories may be corrupted or have been influenced by residual programs that CyberLife had implemented into my system against my will."

"Wait, really? That can happen?"

"Possibly." Connor admitted as he remained somewhat skeptical of his own theory and listened to the sound of the bathroom door opening as Gavin finally emerged from the quiet area. "I will know for certain once my memories have all been restored."

"Oh. Okay then." Turning his attention toward Gavin as the younger man sluggishly walked into the livingroom to locate his shoes. He still looked sick and looked like he was a truly broken soul. "Gavin? Ready to go?"

"Y-Yeah, it's just, uh..." Looking over at Connor as Lucky crawled out of his lap and leapt to the back of the couch to greet him, Gavin reached over and rubbed the cat's chin as she purred loudly at all the positive attention she was receiving. "I want to leave Lucky here. I have stuff I need to take care of my apartment and I don't want her getting caught up in the mess."

"Okay, sure..." Hank didn't like the idea of 'cat-sitting' for Gavin, but he also knew the man had some issues to work through. Since Sumo didn't mind the cat and Connor was helping to take care of her, he decided it'd be fine. "But only for a day."

"Sure."

"All right. Get your stuff and I'll drop you off at your apartment."

"Yeah, okay."

Connor stood up from the couch but stopped when Hank held his hand up in a halting manner. "Hank?"

"Stay here." The protective man urged in a terse manner. "You were out and about more than you should've been, and I don't want you pressing your luck."

"I can take care of myself."

Gavin mumbled as he pressed his hand over his nose and sighed with raw defeat in his breath. "...That's what I used to think."

"Please don't try to negotiate with me on this."

"...Negotiate?"

"It'll be safer for you to stay here locked up with Sumo, and I'll feel better knowing that you're safe inside of a locked house where no one can get to ya'."

"...Yes, of course." Returning to the couch Connor's brow knit with intrigue as he became transfixed on the word 'negotiator'. That word seemed to ring a bell inside his mind. "I'll remain here."

"Thank you." Returning his focus to Gavin by the front door Hank grabbed his coat and watched as Gavin did the same. "Okay. I'll drop you off at your apartment and I won't say a word about any of this to anyone. You're secret is safe with us."

"Right, thanks."

Hank sensed that Gavin was becoming increasingly morose but didn't know what to say. He couldn't relate to being physically and sexually abused by someone, and he could relate to being confronted by that same violent offender over twenty years later. Without anything beneficial to say or even optimistic to mention, all Hank could do was open the door and make sure he had the car keys in his hand.

Gavin reached over and pet Lucky's head again before leaving the house alongside Hank. "Be a good girl for me."

It didn't take long for Connor to pick up Gavin's depressed mood as well. Just like Hank, he didn't know what to say or what to do to try to help the young detective find any sense of confidence or comfort after everything he had endured.

"I'm ready." Gavin lowered his hand and returned to the front door to leave the safety of the warm house. "Let's go."

"Yeah. It's about time they got the streets plowed, too!"

Listening to the sound of the door closing and locking gave Connor an odd sense of isolation. He knew he was safe, and he knew Hank was just looking out for his wellbeing, but Connor couldn't help but feel as if he were being intentionally left in the dark about something.

"Strange."

Putting his hand on Lucky's back Connor invited the cat back over for some attention as he found something else to distract his thoughts. Focusing on the word 'negotiate' and focusing on his past missions, memories and any software that correlated with that particular word, Connor felt an odd sense of dread filling his heart as if he had rediscovered a dark secret that would've been better off had it been left alone.

"Negotiation feels like it's something very important for me."

Sumo grumbled and licked his nose as he rested his chin on Connor's knee and received a small headbutt from Lucky as the fluffy cat purred loudly.

"What could that be?"

Closing his eyes Connor began a cybernetic search - his access was still somewhat limited thanks to his damaged processor, and he sifted through the damaged files and blurry images as he tried to discover the source of his discomfort and why it was so painful to acknowledge.

"There's something very important that I'm not seeing, but where do I start looking?"

The drive back out to Gavin's apartment was tense and quiet. Hank didn't know what else to do for the younger man and he didn't want to overstep any sensitive boundaries by mistake. Gavin himself was lost inside of himself and seemed to be drifting further and further away from the world as he remained silent and trapped within his own mind. He never once asked about finding George, he never showed any concern with going to the hospital to check his nose or for any sign of a concussion, and he didn't even confide his delicate situation with Tina as he wouldn't normally do after a shitty day. All of Gavin's behavior was unusual, yet Hank didn't know what he could do to ease the young detective's woes.

After dropping Gavin off at his apartment building Hank contemplated escorting him up to his apartment to see if Gavin would open at all, but he didn't want to push his luck. Being able to get Connor to trust him enough during his recovery, and slowly earning the trust of Lucas, was good enough for the moment. The senior detective knew to never push too hard when it came to other people and their emotions.

"I don't know who that asshole is who attacked Gavin, but I get the feeling he has a very punch-able face."

Turning on his radio Hank vaguely listened to dispatch as he drove back to the house and wondered if it was safe for him to go back to work and leave Connor alone to finish his recovery in peace. The deviant wasn't helpless anymore and he was starting to show real promise in being able to resume his life prior to being shot despite the devastating damage he had received.

"I guess if anyone can find the fucker and bring him in, it'll be Connor. He saw the man's face and he was a witness to what happened to Gavin, so there's no doubt he'll find him."

Switching the radio over so he could listen to music instead of dispatch Hank tried to not think about the situation for a moment. He was still recovering from his cold and the last thing he needed to go was stress himself out and become sick again. A little music always went a long way to ease his stress and give him a momentary sense of solace.

"With any luck it'll stop snowing and the city can finally thaw out. Once things get warmer, I bet things around here will get better, too. No one likes being cooped up indoors all damn day."

As the morning wore on at an obnoxiously sluggish pace, Connor found himself becoming increasingly fascinated by the singular memory that was still incomplete and yet right on the cusp of being restored. It felt like the lost memory was at the core of Connor's very being - the foundation of his very personality, but Connor could not bring it to the surface despite his best efforts to restore what was once lost. Something about "negotiation" and the concept revolving around negotiation itself was enough to hold Connor's full attention even as Lucky purred loudly under his hands and Sumo leaned heavily against his leg and begged for some attention from the deviant as well.

The only thing that disturbed Connor's thoughts was the sound of the Oldsmobile returning to the driveway beside the house. It seemed as though Hank had only just left, but in reality he had been gone for approximately ten minutes.

Turning toward the front door as it creaked open Connor watched Hank return and questioned the senior detective curiously. "How is Gavin?"

"I dunno'. He didn't talk during the drive, and I have no idea what he's thinking." Closing the door behind himself Hank sighed and put his hands to his hips. There was something unusual in the air that didn't sit well with the senior detective, and he just couldn't put his finger on. "I don't like this."

"Like what?"

"Gavin's behavior." Noting Lucky laying on Connor's lap, Hank began instinctively gathering evidence to support his strange feeling. "He didn't want to take his cat with him back to his apartment, he didn't want to see a doctor about his busted nose, and he didn't even ask anything about his case."

"I agree. His behavior is very-" A soft 'buzzing' sound echoed through the house and caught Connor's ear. Identifying the sound as a phone receiving a call, Connor gently put Lucky aside and rose to his feet to locate the object of interest. "That's coming from the guestroom."

"What is?"

"A phone."

"Phone?" Hank checked his pockets and found his phone right where it should be. He knew Connor didn't need a phone to communicate and quicky deduced that the phone Connor was hearing belonged to Gavin. "Shit. He left his phone here, too."

"Not only that..." Connor returned to the livingroom with Gavin's phone in one hand and the glucose meter in the other. Handing the phone over to Hank to check Connor began to pick up on Hank's dislike for the day's events as well. "He also left behind clothes, his wallet and his glucose meter for testing his blood."

"Now I KNOW something's up." Checking the phone's caller I.D. Hank recognized Tina's name instantly and answered the phone. "Tina, it's Hank."

'Lieutenant Anderson?' Hearing Hank's baritone voice was the last thing Tina had been expecting when she called Gavin's phone. 'What the hell?'

"That's what we're trying to figure out."

'Where's Gavin? I've been trying to call him since yesterday afternoon and I when I went by his apartment yesterday he wasn't there!'

"Yeah, uh... Long story."

'Where is he right now? I really need to speak with him.'

"I just dropped him off at his apartment. He's there now."

'And he doesn't have his phone?'

"No, he left it-"

'Hank, please listen to me very carefully!' Tina's voice took on an air of authority as she addressed Hank by his first name and not his title. 'You need to go back to his apartment and check on him right now.'

"What's going-"

'Just go! I'm heading out there too, so please get there fast! I think Gavin's going to try to kill himself!'

"He's- Shit!" Hank marched toward the front door as he realized what Tina had said and knew that she was right. The way Gavin hadn't taken any of his belongings, wanted his cat to be safe with Connor and hadn't asked about any plans for the future, all supported the theory that the man was in a dangerously depressed mindset and could possibly do something that cannot be undone. "All right, we're on it! Connor?"

"I'm right behind you." Connor grabbed his jacket from the hook by the front door and slipped it on as he followed Hank outside. Slipping the glucose meter into his pocket Connor jogged ahead of Hank and opened the driver's side door of the car. "I'll drive. I can make it there faster than you can."

"Got for it!" Throwing Connor the car keys, Hank put Gavin's phone into his pocket and used his own phone to request clearance to the apartment by the patrolling drones circling the city. He knew time was critical and every second of the five minute drive out to Gavin's apartment was crucial. "Tina's going to meet us there and help us figure this shit out."

"If you two are suspecting a suicide attempt, I concur."

"Son of a bitch." It was then Hank knew for sure that Gavin was in serious trouble. As the car sped through the city and toward Gavin's apartment at a record speed Hank began to worry that he had overlooked the younger detective's emotional problems and mental anguish out of a selfish instinct to avoid having to deal with something he simply didn't want to acknowledge. "We need to get to Gavin fast and hope he hasn't done anything stupid!"

"We're less than one minute away."

"How in the fuck-"

"My reactions are far more enhanced and accurate than a human's reflexes, AND I can preconstruct the fastest route to his apartment in real-time."

"Right, right... Just get us there and run up to his apartment even if I'm not keeping up with ya'."

"I will do so."

The Oldsmobile skidded to a stop in front of the apartment building before it was thrown into park. Connor rushed out of the car and began running up the staircase to reach the second floor without waiting for the elevator and forced open Gavin's apartment door with unsettling ease. The door had been left unlocked and indicated that Gavin either didn't care if someone robbed his apartment or knew that someone would show up at the apartment to try to find him.

Using his biometric scanner Connor quickly honed in on Gavin's signature in the bathroom and noted a horrifying lack of vital signs from the man.

"Gavin?!"

Connor called the young detective's name as he rushed to the bathroom and opened the door. The sight that awaited him left Connor feel both stunned and sickened as Gavin's limp body hung from the belt tied around his neck and strung around the metal shower rod.

"Shit! Gavin?"

The man was pale, limp and seemed to have only recently performed the deed. His body was still warm to the touch, and he hadn't been hanging long enough to damage or break his neck from his literal dead weight pulling his body downward.

Grabbing onto Gavin's body with both hands at the man's hips, Connor lifted Gavin upward to take the weight off his throat and potentially prevent further damage to his body. Connor then supported Gavin's weight over his shoulder to keep the pressure off his throat and struggled to unwrap the belt from around Gavin's neck.

"I got him!" Hank suddenly called out as he joined Connor inside the bathroom and fumbled with the belt. Loosening the belt Hank slipped the makeshift noose over Gavin's head and freed him from the life-ending contraption. "Fuckin' hell... Lay him down!"

Moving swiftly Connor knelt on the floor and laid Gavin down on his back over the tile surface. Removing the belt entirely from around Gavin's neck revealed a fresh dark bruise around the swelling skin that encircled the man's throat. Had the belt been any tighter it would've cut through Gavin's skin rather than just bruise it.

"He isn't breathing." Connor confirmed as he pressed his hand over Gavin's chest and ran a more thorough biometric scan. He could see that the man's heart was only fluttering rather than beating, and he could see that the muscles along Gavin's neck were strained whereas the cervical vertebrae were still intact. "But his neck is NOT broken."

"Thank fuck." Kneeling down beside Connor on the floor Hank hovered over Gavin gently tilted the man's head back and lowered his jaw. "Start chest compressions."

"No, I'll breathe for him and you compress his chest." Connor could see the breaks in Gavin's nose and could pinch his nose shut without causing further damage in the process. "Go!"

Relying on his instincts and emergency training allowed Hank to take the proper position beside Gavin's limp body. Placing one hand over top of the other and interlacing his fingers together, Hank pressed the heel of his palm over the center of Gavin's chest and squared his shoulders as he began to rhythmically push down in rapid succession to force the man's struggling heart to beat properly.

Connor counted Hank's compressions and delivered two rescue breaths when appropriate. His system was able to detect only a mild response to the C.P.R. being performed on the downed man, but Connor was determined to keep trying to revive Gavin.

"Come on, Gavin..." Hank muttered between his clenched teeth as he began to sweat from exertion. With each compression downward Hank could feel Gavin's ribs fracturing more and more, and he knew he was physically hurting the man even though everything he was doing was to try to save his life. "Don't go down this way. I almost made the same mistake!"

"Fucking hell..." Tina managed to squeak out as she too arrived at the apartment to check on Gavin. She had found the Oldsmobile idling in the parking lot, Gavin's apartment door wide open and knew to expect the worst. "Gavin. I'm calling 911!"

"No!" Connor shouted between rescue breaths. He wanted to keep Gavin's situation a secret as he had promised and was determined to succeed whether the man lived or died. "Not yet."

"But he's-"

"He's breathing!" Leaning back Connor motioned for Hank to stop compressions as Gavin choked on a breath, coughed a few times, then took in slow, deep breaths that caused his bruising chest to slowly rise and fall. Lightly pressing his fingertips to the side of Gavin's bruised throat allowed Connor to detect a faint pulse that slowly gained strength as Gavin's heart began to beat on its own. "I can detect a pulse as well."

Hank rocked back on his knees and dragged his forearm over his sweaty forehead. "Thank fuck."

Tina knelt on the floor and lifted Gavin's hand to hold in her own. His cold limp palm and pale skin made Tina feel like she was holding onto a corpse. "Gavin? Gavin, we need you to open your eyes. Wake up now."

"I'll secure his neck." Connor volunteered as he took a soft bath towel and folded it up before wrapping it around Gavin's neck to create a makeshift neck brace. Using the belt still hanging from the shower rod to hold the towel in place felt cruel and counterproductive, but it was the best he could work with. "We should move him into his bedroom and monitor his breathing."

"What about 911?" Tina asked as she watched Connor lift up Gavin's upper body while Hank grabbed onto Gavin's legs. "Why shouldn't we call them?"

"It's complicated." The deviant replied honestly as he and Hank worked together to carry Gavin out of the bathroom and into the bedroom down the hallway. "I'll explain everything to you, but you must refrain from calling 911 for now."

"Fine." Holding onto Gavin's hand every step of the way, Tina watched her friend's pallor only mildly improve as he breathed slowly. The purple bruises along his face made him look like he had been in a nasty car accident and had tried to walk it off. "Tell me what's happening to my best friend, or I will call for reinforcements to get the truth out of you."

After a half hour had passed without Gavin's condition declining or improving Connor decided to take the initiative and find some medical help that wouldn't betray Gavin's secret and would keep him out of the hospital for his own sense of dignity. With both Hank and Tina watching over Gavin as he rested in his bed with his neck stabilized with the towel and ice packs along his chest, Gavin was certain to remain stable until Connor returned with medical assistance. He wasn't conscious enough to feel Tina holding his hand or Hank monitoring his pulse, but Gavin was warm, comfortable and was being watched over by people who cared about him whether he believed it or not.

Tina's heart went out for her best friend as she realized that he had been sick, attacked by his abusive ex-boyfriend and had ended up spiraling so far down into dark loneliness that he was ready to end his life. It wasn't the first time Gavin had tried to take his own life - a secret that Tina swore to take to her grave, but even so it was still an absolute shock to see her friend laying unconscious on the floor and receiving C.P.R. when she arrived.

"I hoped he was past those dark thoughts." Tina admitted as she watched Gavin sleeping. She didn't want to lose her best friend because of his own depression rearing its ugly head yet again. "I should've been checking in on him more."

"No way, Tina." Hank had his own battle with suicidal ideation and thoughts, and he knew that it wasn't anyone else's responsibility to make sure he felt happy or content with his life. The same was to be said about Gavin. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm speaking from experience here."

"He's my best friend, my honorary big brother." It was clear that Tina really cared about Gavin and only wanted him to be happy. "I knew he was hurting, and I tried to help him, but it still wasn't good enough."

"Tina, stop blaming yourself. This isn't your fault."

"Hard to not feel responsible right now."

The apartment door opened again as Connor returned with medical assistance at his side. Stepping into the bedroom Connor showed his ally into the room and gave her plenty of room to work. "We appreciate your help, Dr. Grayson."

"Happy to help a detective in need. And please, call me 'Abby'." Abby insisted as she gave Gavin a sympathetic look. She remembered the man from his less than stellar first impression the night Connor had been stabbed and brought to her facility for treatment. "Connor told me what happened and why we're keeping this a secret. I won't say anything if you don't."

"Thank you."

"How long was he... hanging?" Abby asked in a low voice as she sat on the edge of the bed and placed her emergency medical satchel down beside Gavin's leg. Using a bottle of hand sanitizer, she sterilized her hands and then slipped on a pair of fresh, purple tinted latex gloves to keep her hands clean. "I know you can't give me an exact number, but an estimate of time can help."

"Approximately five minutes." Connor replied as he watched Abby give Gavin a careful physical exam. Knowing that Abby was a certified E.M.S. had proven itself to be unexpectedly useful. "When we lowered him to the floor his heart was fluttering and not beating properly, and he wasn't breathing."

"Okay." Using her stethoscope Abby listened to Gavin's chest and noted his strong, stable heartbeat and steady breaths. As she moved the bell across his chest in a slow back and forth motion, she could feel the small fractures of his ribs and swelling of the muscles along his ribcage. "Standard sinus rhythm and normal respiration rate. I want to check his neck and use a foam brace to support it while he heals."

Silently Connor approached the head of the bed and removed his makeshift neck brace from around Gavin's neck. Supporting the man's head with both hands Connor watched as Abby gently ran her fingers along the sides of Gavin's throat, over his trachea and along the back of his neck to check for any unseen damage.

"Nothing broken, which is miraculous, but he's going to have some nasty whiplash." Reaching back into her satchel Abby revealed a thick cushioned neck brace and secured it around Gavin's neck to ensure his strained muscles could heal with minimal complications. "I don't have any prescription medications that I can legally give him, but I might be able to do something about keeping the pain in his neck to a minimum. Does he have any allergies?"

Tina spoke up as she knew Gavin better than anyone else in the city. "No allergies, but he is a diabetic."

"When's the last time his blood sugar was tested?"

Connor answered as he pulled the glucose meter from his jacket pocket and passed it over to Abby to take. "Last night. He is also recovering from a cold and a broken nose."

"The broken nose explains the bruises on his face." Putting the meter aside for a moment Abby gently lifted up Gavin's swollen eyelids and shined her penlight into his eyes to check his pupils. There was an immediate reaction to the intense light, which was a very promising sign in Gavin's favor. "Beautiful hazel eyes. Do I want to know how he ended up with a broken nose and two black eyes?"

No one replied which was all Abby needed to hear to know that Gavin was going through a very tough situation.

"Okay then. Since the injuries aren't necessarily life threatening, I'll let it go." Draping her stethoscope around her neck to keep it out of the way, Abby powered on the glucose meter, secured a clean testing strip inside the meter and then picked up Gavin's hand to perform a blood test. Pressing the side of the man's hand to the sterilized lancet located on the side of the meter, Abby pierced his skin and brought a small bead of blood to the surface to then press to the strip. "If his blood sugar is good then I'll avoid giving him any I.V.'s and we'll wait for him to wake up on his own so he can eat and drink something."

The group waited for Abby's assessment and didn't utter a word. They weren't medics and they didn't know what else to do for Gavin beyond being emotional support once he regained consciousness.

"He's good." Abby confirmed after reading the glucose meter's registered number. "I'm going to give him a more thorough exam because of the damage he suffered to his nose and eyes, and I want to make sure he isn't hiding any other injuries from us. I need to ask you to step out of the room for a minute for the sake of his privacy and comfort."

"Right." Hank motioned for Connor and Tina to exit the bedroom while he followed after them. "Let us know if you'll need us to get anything so he can recover a little easier."

Abby only nodded as the door closed with a soft 'click' as Hank left the room with the other two detectives ahead of himself. Keeping her touch light and controlled allowed Abby to check Gavin's head, his ears, his nose and inside his mouth to look down his throat without waking him up. It was a little awkward when she had to remove his t-shirt to examine his upper body, but she managed to slip the garment off and away from Gavin without causing him any harm or pain in the process.

After checking his upper body for any sign of internal trauma or untreated injuries, Abby carefully worked to remove Gavin's jeans so she could check his hips, legs and feet for any other sign of trauma. Based on his injuries and the way everyone was remaining secretive, Abby began to wonder if Gavin had been in a car accident or had been knocked down a flight of stairs. Why they were being so quiet about his injuries was as intriguing as it was confusing.

"You're very lucky."

Abby whispered as she checked every little bruise and scrape along Gavin's knees for any sign of infection. Aside from the minor wounds there were no sign of any further trauma to Gavin's person.

"You seem to have some pretty good friends looking out for you."

"...J-Just Tina." Gavin managed to hoarsely reply as he took in a deep breath. It was clear he was suffering from a monster headache, if not a migraine, and seemed to be disappointed that he actually woke up. "Am I... dead?"

"Not yet."

"...Shit."

"Be patient. Death comes for us all." Pulling the quilt over Gavin's lower body Abby gave the young detective a curious glance. "You woke up in your own bed with what's undoubtedly one of the worst headaches of your life, and you asked if you're dead? Why?"

"...Because I saw a pretty lady watching over me and I kinda' hoped it was an angel." Swallowing once Gavin felt only raw pain all down his throat and wished he hadn't moved a single muscle. He hurt from head to toe and knew he brought it on himself. "Especially since you're the same lady I made an ass of myself in front of last month. It's stupid, I know."

"It's not stupid, it's kind of sweet."

"Yeah, complimenting you is sweet. But me trying to kill myself? Stupid."

"That's not stupid either." Abby stated with utmost confidence as she gave Gavin an impressively gentle glance. Moving her hand over to his hand, Abby held on in a reassuring manner as she dared to be the shoulder for the man to cry on. "A lot of people feel so low and lost that they try to do what you just tried. It doesn't mean they're stupid, selfish or anything to be ashamed of."

"H-How would you know?"

"Like I said, a lot of people have tried to take their own lives and failed. I would know, I'm one of those people."

Gavin managed to open his swollen eyes a little wider as he gave Abby an absolutely stunned look. "...You?"

"Yeah, me. Let me guess..." Sighing a little Abby tightened her grip on Gavin's hand as she essentially read his mind. "You think because I have such a celebrated career as both an E.M.S. and a technician that my life is easy, or because I'm attractive that means I don't have any stresses or anxieties, or that because my profession revolves around preserving life that I'd never try to take my own life. Well, you're wrong. No one's above being haunted by those kinds of dark thoughts and no one's above making such a permanent decision. Am I right?"

"...Mostly, yeah." Lifting up his free hand Gavin slowly pressed his fingertips to his neck and was surprised when he felt the soft and warm cushion of the brace keeping his neck stable and immobilized. Moving his fingertips upward he winced as he rediscovered the bruises along his nose and eyes courtesy of having his nose broken just the day before. "You also just seem like you're more... emotionally stable... than I am."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you came from a less fucked up family than mine."

"Oh, if we're going to play that game I bet I could win." Crossing her arms over her chest Abby kicked back a little and flashed Gavin a mischievous grin. "My dad died in a car accident when I was in pre-school, my mom died after battling with cancer - but she didn't die from the cancer, she died when my brother intentionally gave her an overdose of painkillers so she could die with dignity and without pain, and then my brother died in prison from a ruptured appendix that the prison guards thought he was faking. I also have a crazy ex-boyfriend who tried to kill me when I broke up with him, which is why I moved to Detroit from Chicago. You?"

"...My old-man and my mother beat the shit of me and my kid sister for as long as I could remember." Gavin admitted as painfully hot tears well up in his blackened eyes. He had only told Tina of his traumatic childhood but didn't want to keep his pain a secret any longer. "When I was teenager, I went to the community pool with my little sister to escape our parents for a day, but..."

"Something bad happened." Encouraging Gavin to keep speaking, Abby kept her voice soft as she let him squeeze her hand in a stressful manner. "Whatever it was, I'm certain it wasn't your fault. What happened that day at the pool?"

"I... I took my eyes off my sister for just a minute." It took everything Gavin had to talk as he admitted his horrendous pain that he had been carrying ever sense that fateful day. "Kimmy went into the deep end and she... She drowned."

"I'm sorry." Tightening her hand even further around Gavin's hand helped give the detective a sense of grounding. "I guess we both know how much it hurts to lose family to tragic events."

"It does hurt, but I'm glad Kimmy was free from the abuse we were suffering." Turning away from Abby as best as he could, Gavin took in choking breath as he fought against the urge to break down and cry. "A damn android lifeguard malfunctioned and let Kimmy die! It was one of those really early designs that needed A LOT of bugs worked out, but I was blamed for her drowning and the abuse got worse. When the abuse reached its peak," trailing his fingers over the scar on his nose, Gavin sighed and closed his swollen eyes again. "I was put into foster care. My mother was institutionalized from her pill abuse fryin' her brain, and my old-man put a bullet in his mouth after he tried to beat me down after I became a cop. I'm ashamed of my family and of the people I was born from."

"We can't help who we're related to, and we can't feel guilty for the sins of our relatives." With a very ginger touch Abby pressed her palm to Gavin's swollen cheek and used her thumb to wipe away Gavin's tears for him. "I know what it's like to feel powerless because of another person."

"You... were hurt, too." Suddenly finding himself with a kindred spirit Gavin held tightly on to Abby's hand. "Who hurt you?"

"When I was sixteen, I was almost... assaulted by someone I thought I could trust; my former best friend. A former best guy friend. I escaped when he pinned me down in the park and he started spreading rumors around school that I was a slut and trying to ruin his reputation. I couldn't handle the shame, the lies or the deception. After a week of being called horrible names and being labeled with lies, I locked myself away in my bedroom with a bottle of sleeping pills and tried to make the pain stop. Like you, I was shocked when I woke up."

Gavin could hear the sincerity in Abby's words and knew she wasn't just blowing smoke to make him feel better. She truly knew what he was feeling. "What happened after you took those pills?"

"Well, when I woke up in the hospital two days later, I saw my mom beside my bed and holding my hand while my brother was talking to a cop. Apparently, my suicide attempt finally got the school's attention regarding the bullying, and everyone who said anything about me in school or on social media was questioned by the cops. They traced everything back to my former friend, and when his parents tried to defend him and say that I truly was a slut and whore and all those other ugly things, the cops showed him and his parents the evidence they collected and silenced them for good."

"I know a thing or two about dealing with shitty exes." Gavin empathized as he listened to Abby's sad story. "What... did the cops find?"

"They went through my former friend's phone and laptop, and found a bunch of photos he had taken of me without me knowing, a bunch of weird little poems written by him where he talked about wanting to have sex with me whether I wanted it or not, and then all of his angry revenge texts and posts about me when I fought him off in the park. The most damning evidence came from the security camera in the local park showing him trying to hold me down on a bench and of me fighting back while yelling at him to 'stop'."

"All that evidence and it took... It was still that long before someone helped you?"

"Some people are so busy with their own lives that they forget about the lives of the people in the world around them."

"What happened to you after that? Justice?"

"Well, because my former friend had threatened rape and assault, had slandered my name and had turned the entire school against me - teachers and principal included, he was arrested and charged with all kinds of nasty little things and my school offered a massive public apology to me in order to cover their asses after it came to light that they allowed bullying to go on for so long that the victim nearly took their own life. As for me, I dropped out of school and studied to get my G.E.D. at home and moved on after I spoke to a therapist for about a year."

"...Glad you had some support."

"I'm glad you have support, too." Abby motioned toward the closed bedroom door to let Gavin know they weren't alone in the apartment. "Your friends found you, saved you and brought me here to take care of you since they apparently swore to keep your situation a secret."

"Friends?" The very notion made Gavin want to scoff. "I don't have... any friends except for Tina."

"Not true. Tina, Connor and Lieutenant Anderson are out there waiting for you to wake up. They're worried sick."

"...I don't understand." When he made a move to sit upright Abby put her hands on his shoulders and urged him to lay back down. The brief motion was enough to make Gavin's head spin and he immediately regretted moving. "Fuck... Man, I must've hit my head."

"A prolonged lack of oxygen to the brain will cause pain. Anyway," adjusting the pillow under Gavin's head Abby tried to help him get comfortable again. "from what Connor told me, they picked up on something being wrong when you left your cat behind at Lieutenant Anderson's house and didn't seem to care about tomorrow. When Tina tried to call your phone, which you also left behind, they knew you were in trouble and came here to help you. They saved your life and are waiting for you to get better."

"They're... all out there?"

"Yup."

"...Son of bitch." Regret settled into Gavin's mind right alongside his pounding headache. "Even after I was such a dick to Connor and all the other androids, he's still being helpful. Even the Lieutenant wants to help me, and we hate each other."

"Guess it's just in their natures to be helpful, just as it's in your nature to be protective."

"Protective? Being a detective doesn't mean-"

"You made sure your cat was going to be okay without you, and Tina told me that she sees you as her big brother. That isn't a coincidence. That's something special from someone who has a big heart but is afraid to show it."

"So... even after I totally fucked up when we first met-"

"I've learned to never judge a book by its cover or a person by their stress." She knew where Gavin's mind was going and wanted to reassure him that she wasn't going to hold a grudge against him. "Besides, people can change as long as we give them the chance."

"...Thanks." Rubbing his palm over the neck brace around his throat Gavin sighed through his broken nose and felt even more miserable even after getting over his nasty cold. "I don't deserve anyone's help."

"Yes you do. We all need help every once in a while. Getting help doesn't mean we're weak, it's means we're human."

"I... I guess so." Staring up at his ceiling Gavin sighed again and tried to not think about how close he came to ending it all and being unable to undo it. "I need to find a way to make things right. Starting with Tina, and then-"

"Hey, just take it easy and try to rest for now. I'm going to stay here for a while and keep an eye on you just in case something happens and you might need a doctor's care. I'm not an actual doctor, but hey, I'm better that no one."

Mumbling a little Gavin watched as Abby set about packing up her satchel and couldn't help but notice her simple yet striking features."...And pretty."

"What was that?"

"N-Nothing." Gavin lied as he cleared his sore throat and tried to feign innocence. "Could... I get a couple aspirin?"

"I'll find you something for your head and make sure you have something gentle for your throat. Stay still and try to rest."

"Before you go, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, go for it."

"Can... we reintroduce ourselves? You know, start from scratch so I don't feel like such an asshole?"

Smirking at the almost naive manner in which Gavin spoke, Abby extended her hand out toward Gavin and shook his hand gently. "My name is Dr. Abby Grayson, just call me 'Abby'."

"Hi, Abby. I'm Detective Gavin Reed." Finding a momentary sense of peace helped Gavin to finally relax and remember that not everyone was going to hurt him. He wasn't going to be abused by his parents anymore and he'd find his abusive ex-boyfriend soon enough. "Call me 'Gavin'."

Satisfied that Gavin was no longer in immediate danger and would be safe as long as he had both Tina and Abby to watch over him, Connor decided it was time to leave so Gavin could get some rest in relative privacy. Hank agreed to go back home as well and keep things regarding the younger detective's assault quiet for a while little longer. The seasoned Lieutenant would only mention what had happened to Captain Fowler if Gavin made a second attempt on his life or showed any further signs of self harm. From personal experience, Hank understood all too well the mental anguish of enduring one's own darkest thoughts and the urge to take things a little too far just to get the pain to end.

While the two detectives returned to the house to try to unwind after the exciting day, and to undoubtedly spoil the two pets they were currently taking care of, Tina decided to spoil her best friend by making him his favorite dessert and streaming his favorite movie. She was going to watch over Gavin during the night and Abby would return to check on him in the morning, which meant Tina was free to be with her best friend without any adult supervision.

"How's your throat?" Tina asked as she tip-toed into the livingroom from the kitchen with her hands suspiciously concealed behind her back. "Think you can eat?"

"I have to." Still sounding hoarse Gavin looked up at Tina with his tired eyes as she climbed over the arm of the couch to sit down on the cushion beside him. It was clear his throat was very sore - inside and out, and eating was going to be a chore. "I can't starve myself on top of this mess."

"Well, I bet this will help! Your favorite!" Presenting Gavin with the little treat she had created for him, Tina watched as Gavin managed a weak grin of appreciation as he accepted the white bowl containing the dessert for himself. "French Vanilla ice cream with strawberry syrup and just a tiny amount of chocolate sprinkles!"

"...You're too good to me, Ti'."

"No I'm not. Besides, we're friends. We look out for each other and never keep any secrets from one another." Draping a quilt over her legs and then Gavin's legs they settled in together to watch the movie on the couch. "Right?"

"...Right."

"So, do you want to tell me why you were acting so weird the past couple of weeks?" Gently pushing the matter Tina watched as Gavin nervously dipped his spoon into his ice cream and let the pink tinted syrup spill all over the white scoops sitting on the bottom of the bowl. "You started really behaving strangely the last time you stayed at my apartment and I've been wanting to talk about it. Did I say or do something that upset you?"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong." Unable to keep his shame to himself any longer Gavin finally faced Tina and the night they had spent together. "But I think I did."

"What?" The guilt was thick on Gavin's tongue and Tina needed to know what was bothering him. "You can tell me, I won't get mad."

"That's the thing. You should be mad."

"Why? What was so wrong that you pulled away from me and became so lost that that you almost didn't find your way back?"

"Tina... The last time we spent the night at your apartment we- I crossed the line."

"What line?"

"I had too much to drink and I lost my sense of judgment, and I ended up... Friends don't sleep with their other friends!"

"They don't- What?!" Laughing at Gavin's comment Tina went from worried to amused in a matter of milliseconds. "Wait, you don't think we-"

"I woke up naked in your bed right next to you! Of course we did."

"Gavin, we did NOT have sex."

"We..." If it weren't the neck brace holding his head forward Gavin would've turned to face Tina so quickly he would've given himself double-whiplash. "We didn't... do it?"

Laughing even more Tina shook her head and leaned over to give Gavin a hug without hurting him in the process. "No!"

"I... Tina, I am seriously confused right now. Please stop laughing!" Reaching down he managed to tuck a lock of her dark hair back and behind her ear. He could feel Tina laughing so hard that Gavin was afraid she'd end up with fractured ribs too. "And don't get your hair all sticky from the ice cream."

"Okay, hold on..." Leaning back Tina took in a deep breath. "It's like this." Using her hands Tina wiped away her bemused tears from her face and gave Gavin the most serious look she could muster. "We did have a lot to drink that night, and you did sleep in my bed with me, BUT we did NOT have sex."

"How can you... We were drunk!" Gavin had a hard time accepting such a truth. "When I woke up I was naked and our clothes were all over the floor."

"I know. That's because while I did have a lot to drink I didn't get as drunk as you. And the reason your clothes were all over the floor was because you spilled some of your drink on your clothes and didn't want to sleep in wet clothing."

"How'd... I get in your bedroom?"

"You were drunk, confused and walked in the wrong direction." Tina sounded so sure of herself that there was no way she was lying. "You took off your clothes and passed out on my bed. When I found you, I didn't want to wake you up or wrangle a naked drunk guy down the hallway."

"And so you slept right beside me?"

"Yes."

"Why?!"

"Because I trust you!" Tina looked like she was going to smack Gavin in the back of the head for being so dense. "I knew you'd never do anything to me, even while drunk, and I wanted to make sure you weren't so drunk that you'd accidentally vomit in your sleep and choke on it."

"Holy shit..." Relief swept over Gavin for the first time in weeks and he finally felt like he could breathe. "Fuckin' Hell!"

"Is that what was bothering you so much? You thought we had sex?" Curious again Tina gave her friend a truly studious glance. "And even if we did, what would it have mattered?"

"Because you're my honorary little sister. I'm supposed to look after you and make sure no one tries to do what I thought we did without your consent."

"Is that all?"

"No." Admitting there was more to it Gavin laid it all out for Tina. "I seriously felt like I had crossed a massive line and destroyed our friendship."

"Never. You're my best friend and no matter how many times you mess up I'll always be there to help you clean it up."

"Thanks, Ti'. I'm sorry I was being such a moody tool!"

"It's okay. Just talk to me next time you think you did something bad, okay? No more holding stuff inside."

"Yeah, I promise." Sinking down in his couch cushions Gavin kicked his feet up on a fully packed moving box to try to get comfortable. "No secrets between us for any reason."

"Deal." Grabbing the remote Tina prepared to press 'play' and let the film begin. She was happy to have cleared the air and wanted something else to focus on for the rest of the night. "Now, let's watch the movie."

"Are you sure you want to watch 'Jurassic Park' with me again? We've seen it a hundred times by now."

"I'll never get sick of watching a movie with my best friend. Besides, this is a classic!"

"Yeah, I guess it is." Scooping up a small amount of the ice cream onto his spoon Gavin tentatively began to eat the icy cool treat and was relieved that it didn't hurt his throat. It was actually nice and soothing. "And when I finish moving into my new place we'll watch 'Street Fighter' again."

"The good one that came out a couple years ago, or the shitty one from the 90's?"

"Both!"

"Right answer." Turning up the volume on the movie Tina finally felt like she had her best friend back and Gavin was able to accept that he wasn't entirely irredeemable and had some good friends watching his back. "Next time we'll skip the wine and just stick to soda. Our teeth will hate us but at least we won't wake up with any weird memories."

-next chapter-

TLDR: Gavin tries to hang himself at his apartment, Connor and Hank save him before he succeeds. Gavin bonds with Abby and learns that he didn't actually sleep with Tina a few chapters back.