My Days in the Akatsuki
Disclaimer & Author's Note: Kishimoto-san is the creator of this series, and owns all the official characters of the Naruto world. All I own however is any original characters that show up in mild filler scenarios. I also own my original character Sekai Ishtal. This is basically Alternative Universe because Naruto is in the Akatsuki. Also, in this story, the Akatsuki are anything BUT an evil organization. They parody, they're fun, they're adventurous, plus, all sorts of shenanigans can happen when they're not busy taking over the world. :D
I love Michael Jackson and always will enjoy the Pop King's songs. So, you know I don't own his songs and his music. But it won't stop me from singing them every once and awhile when I am in a musical mood. ;D
A Random Nudist Oneshot
"This weather sucks!" Naruto whines.
"Oh shut up! I'm half shark! This hot weather is worse on me," Kisame shouted from the pool.
The weather has been completely unbearable. So in order to get away from the idiots that wanted to stop them from making the world a much better place, they headed west, leaving behind the Five Great Villages, plus the minors, in the dust as they headed to vacation in Meka. The entire village of Amegakure went with them and for the vacation, doubled the population of Sanībēru-shi. But the summer months here sucked. There was an intolerable heat wave that hung over half the countryside. Because of the weather, and how Lord Pein purchased the 20 acre plot in the countryside of Kin no Kuni, everyone had unanimously agreed: no clothes except shopping in Sanībēru-shi.
"Go suck ocean water," Naruto retorted before he lays back in his reclining lawn chair and closes his eyes under the shade of the beach umbrella poked into the roof.
"Suck this!"
A beam of pressurized water shot and struck Naruto, blasting him off the roof patio. He felt more pain 'cuz the water blast got a clipping of his manhood. Inside the house, everyone was trying all they could to stay cool. Because of a certain spiral-masked man, the A/C Unit was broken and it would take three days to get a repair man out to the residence. Sasori was all puppet-made and had no such worries. Currently he was tinkering with his puppets in the garage. And Tobi was nowhere to be seen; in fact, the last time he was seen, he was on an air-trip via a Shinra Tensei converted to a gravity bitch-slap.
Zetsu basked in the warmth of the sunlight, and the shade of the large willow tree that shaded half of the property. Konan was making blueberry ice lemonade in the kitchen, and Pein now and then had to keep his other bodies from staring at her ass as he played Poker with them. On the other side of the expansive room, Itachi was using the Xbox 360 with their large 40 inch plasma flat screen TV...
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
He was playing Michael Jackson: The Experience. He was dancing under Master Performance with the song Beat It!, singing the lyrics as well, and was doing very well (if you ignore he's dancing naked).
They're out to get you, better leave while you can
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can
So beat it, just beat it
You have to show them that you're really not scared
You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare
They'll kick you, then they beat you,
Then they'll tell you it's fair
So beat it, but you wanna be bad
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Kakuzu was locked in his room with his money... doing god knows what with it...
"Your momma's so ugly that the set of Gorillas in the Mist was inside her bathroom shower!"
"Oh yeah? Yo momma so fat, she swam in the ocean and one fart caused Hurricane Katrina!"
And Hidan was chatting through Skype Video Chat + Facebook, having a Yo Momma Jokes fight with somebody over the internet...
Suddenly the door opens and in bounces Tobi, still nude (mask still attached).
"Tobi is back!" he declares with a cheerful shout of youth.
He's them stomped to the floor as Naruto walks in, dripping wet from the Water Cannon jutsu Kisame used against him to blast him off the roof patio. Another thing was he was now a she. Yes, somehow she changes gender when she's hit by cold water. Hot water reverses the effects.
"I'm going to deep-fry that shark," she growled.
"Tobi likes fish nuggets," Tobi said, standing again and hugging Naruko.
Once again, he eats the floor.
"Don't grope my ass!" she yells, before walking into the kitchen to fill up a pot of hot water. Once full, she douses herself and returns back to being male.
"Would you like some blueberry lemonade, Naruto?" Konan asks him politely.
"Sure Konan," he replies with a smile, accepting the drink with crushed ice.
With the tray of drinks, she brings it out to Pein and his bodies to enjoy.
Naruto sighed, and drains the glass dry as he walks out of the kitchen to watch Itachi play on the Xbox 360. He was near the end of the song, and finishing up...
Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Itachi breathed out, stretching briefly, while Naruto whistled in amazement.
"How can a partially blind man be so awesome at video games?"
"I'm awesome," Itachi replied as his scores were once again five stars. He slips on a pair of sunglasses, "deal with it."
Naruto just chuckled in amusement.
"Damn you! You fucking asswipe!" the two young men heard, and turn to Hidan throwing a fit.
"What's wrong? You lose again, Hidan?"
"Hey fuck you!" Hidan responds with the middle finger thrown up.
Meanwhile, back in the Elemental Nations, a grouping of the five nations occurred. A massive army marched to Amegakure no Sato, the location of the Akatsuki. However after a charge of bravery onto their deaths against a group of S-Class Nukenin plus one traitorous Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, instead they were greeted with total silence.
No matter where they went, no one could be found. Not even a random Ame civilian. Hell, even the local animals were gone. A rather pathetic but extremely easy break-in into their main HQ finally gave the Hokage, Tsuchikage, Mizukage, Raikage, and Kazekage the answers they sought for: why was Amegakure a deserted ghost town? The note explained it all:
On vacation,
We'll return a week after the Autumn Solstice.
Lord Pein, Amekage
Can you review if you really enjoy this? :D
Edited for slightly more material added.