Wow, this chapter was actually pretty hard to pull out. No action sequences, only shenanigans and the epic return of the slapstick. Let's not forget that this story is also a comedy. DXD apocrypha will come next... Maybe after a break of mine. After that chapter, maybe I'll choose one of my old fics and gave it an update. 30-chapter fic, here we go~.

As always, Highschool dxd doesnt belongs to me~.

"So, let me get this straight: you invited us to eat ramen in a cheap, but famous Ramen shop just across the school, knowing full well that your allowance was running short this week..."

"Y-Yeah..."

"... And seeing that your money wouldn't pay for all of us, which I may remind, YOU were the one to invite us to eat under your treat, you instead convinced us to eat cheap snacks in a nearby convenience store. Is that right, or did I make a mistake halfway through?"

"Y-You're right..."

"..."

"..."

...

"What the hell is wrong with you, Aria-san?"

And that final blow was enough to crush Aria-san's pride, which was probably melting together with the soda ice-cream bottle. She didn't had the money to pay for our ramens, so the only way to cover her promise was to eat cheap Snacks(dagashi) in a convenience store just right around the school's corner. I don't blame her. I'm also running low this week. Not to mention, I have to save some food, because at this rate, I'll have to buy a whole market to cover my peerage and the extras...

"C'mon, Ren. That's enough. Aria-san just wanted to talk." I said to him, biting my own doughnut and tasting the sweet flavor of cardboard. Tasha was, big surprise, licking a sea sweet-salt ice cream, while the trouble duo were eating soda pops. Enough to buy some candies, but not to eat a proper meal. I hate you, economy...

"Bad trade. Motels are cheaper."

"Tasha, please, I want to eat my snack in peace and not choke you with i-DAMNIT!" I said, as frustration escaped my lips and I tossed the plastic box of my doughnuts. They clashed with the trash bin, and I did a 3-points. That sentence was.. Really suggestive. I sounded like a pervert now. I looked at Tasha, as her purple eyes were wilded in shock, her face colored in a deep red. Ren was looking at me with THAT stare, and Aria-san snickered.

"Putting private matters aside, I did request you presence here, Ren." Aria-san said as she bit a portion of her own soda pop sticking out of the bottle. Ren did the same, looking at her. I was also curious, so much I leaned forward to try to look pass Tasha's boobs and to him. "So, how was your day here? Did you have fun with Ichijou."

"Yeah, right. Lots of fun." He said in obvious sarcasm, now turning back to me. We stared at each other, and huffed away. "At least I've found her. My dear, dear genius little sister. Unfortunately, because of some unfortunate events, she escaped my grasp. I really meant to kill her."

"And why's that?" Aria-san asked before I could do so myself. He said something about her paying for what she did to the village, and that alone was enough to set me off. She's part of our peerage, and if she's a terrorist, then it'll be a pain in the ass to track her down and protect her.

"Aside from her planning to kill the vampire King, the person who requested our protection?" Aria-san nodded. "We have also personal matters with that little punk. You see, our dear Kaguya-sama, the leader of the village, is the mother of all of us. She has a harem of dozens, and the people of the village are related to her in some way. In short, she's our idol, so much that we build statues, parks and pictures in her name for the next generation."

"Eh, your mother sure is important." I said, looking at the skies and thinking about my own mother. I wonder if she's back from the trip. Then again, so would my sisters, so I'm not exactly that excited about it. I digress, I gulped another piece of biscuit down my system, and turned to him. That story reminded me of a manga I read once. "So much for a single important person... Let me guess, Annie painted all over one of the monuments or something, right?"

"..."

"...?"

"..."

"..."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!"

"I WAS RIGHT?!" Like seriously?! Did that ninja have such a simpleton mind like that?! That's so immature, even for the standards I'm standing myself on! No respect, Annie!

"YOU BASTARD! AND YOU TRIED TO PROTECT HER?! NOT ONLY SHE'S TRYING TO KILL THE VAMPIRE KING, BUT YOU KNEW THAT SHE COMMITTED THE ULTIMATE ACT OF DISRESPECT TOWARDS OUR MOTHER KAGUYA!" And he continued to scream at me, as he walked towards me and picked my collar to pull me closer. "I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU DEAD, YOU SONNOVABITCH!"

"LIKE I SAID, YOUR SISTER IS A MORON! AND DONT YOU DARE CALL MY MOM A BITCH!" I screamed back, picking him by the collar too. We growled at each other. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

"BRING IT ON! I'LL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR WORDS!"

"Tsukino-chin...!"

"Wait for it, Tasha, those two..."

"AND I WILL BURN YOU TO ASHES, YOU FISH NINJA!"

"WHY YOU...!"

"YOU WHAT...?!"

*CRACK!* *CRACK!

""... Ugh!"" And we both flinched in pain, hearing the horrible sound of our bones and joints cracking against each other. The strength of our will soon faded and was replaced by regret and sorrow. We fell on our asses, and clashed our backs on the floor. "Aaah~! What the hell! Ichijou, you suck! I hope you burn in hell..."

"And I hope you get an allergic reaction..."

"And there we go. Losers be losers." And Aria-san sighed, picking us by the collar to help us get up and support our bodies on the wall of the convenience store. This is lame. "In any case... Annie will try to kill the Vampire King, and Ren here's trying to prevent that by killing her, while Ichijou-kun wants to protect her. Geez... Love-triangles are much more simple than this crap."

"That guy even said he wants to French kiss me!"

"I've already said It was a misunderstanding! Aria-San, you know me! Help me!"

"I Kiss Nemesis sometimes. And Ginko, and Nadja, and Aiko. As you can see, a little chance of play-side doesn't hurt."

"I WASNT ASKING FOR THAT KINDA HELP!"

"SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH DEVILS?!"

"Chill." And out of nowhere, Tasha picked two more soda ice-creams and shut us up with them. I almost spat it out, but instead I munched it in disgust. I hate soda ice-creams. My body is still twitching from pain, so getting upset might not be the best of ideas. "Cool. Head. No. Screaming."

"Tch. Whatever. You know what I want and what she did, and if I know my sister, she won't be around until the meeting." Ren said. Wait... Does this means she won't be home until the meeting is over? Probably yes. Somehow... This makes me uncomfortable. I mean, she's the only one that can keep up with me during the straight man sessions. Ren turned to me, sighed, and pointed his fingers to me. "So you can show me around without any fears of us encountering her again. I'll go home recover and then we can start our tour tomorrow. But if she ever shows up... I'll kill her."

"Understood." I said with a sighed. He frowned for me, I frowned back. "But as her Queen and part of her peerage, I'll say that: I'll try... I'll stop you, Ren. I don't want to do this, but if you want to carry this plan on... I'll kill you."

"..." And silence. Everything went so quiet I could hear the sound of the wind. Tasha was bewailed, Aria-san was also surprised, and Ren puffed a smile? He turned to me, ate the rest of his Ice-cream and gave his stick to me. "Y'know what? Mother was right, Sayuri did find good friends. Or maybe you're just too naïve about anything. Think you can stop me, as well as stop her? Let's see. See ya tomorrow, Ichijou."

And he made some hand signals before a gush of wind blew in our direction and lift a curtain of dust around him, finally taking him away in a second, like how it happens in Ninja movies. Jeez, now I have to deal with that. My life sure is not taking any breaks, but I ain't stopping either. No, I have to start to move, or else I'll be stuck again...

"Are you really gonna do it?" Aria-san asked. She seemed more worried than curious. I have an idea what she meant by that, but I just let her finish it for the sake of certain. "Kill him, as you said? You'll kill him just to keep Annie safe?"

"No, of course not! I'd never kill a friend." I said. They now look freak out. Yeah, yeah, I don't know how to turn my sarcasm button off, so people have this difficulty to read my mood. In all honesty, I want to strangle, but not kill him. "That was just an empty threat. I won't kill him, nor let him kill Annie. I'll break their legs, though."

"You know that they're ninjas, right?" Aria-San said, smiling weakly in my direction, with a faint hint of pride on it.

"Then I'll wait ten seconds."

"Maybe other ninjas will be there. After all, they're the vampire's bodyguards. Not to mention the vampires themselves."

"Then I'll wait another ten seconds."

"Lord Desmond and Haruka-sama may be there. They're the strongest of their own categories, and you saw how capable those siblings wer-..."

"Another ten. Twenty. Thirty! A freaking minute! A goddamn hour! I can wait that much! No, forget that, I'll stop Annie as fast as possible! If I have to level a mountain just to punch her in her ugly face, I'll do it and punch her again for making me level a mountain!" I said with a bit of irritation. I get the point, there'll be assassins and vampires all over the place, plus the representative Devils for the meeting. Well, I'll avoid a terrorist attack and have the opportunity to help a friend by... Turning her face into mincemeat. Two birds with one Stone!

"Tsukino-chin." I heard from beside me, but before I Could turn around to face her, Tasha suddenly launched herself towards me and hugged my head. Oh, crap! Another of those asphyxiation hugs! Jugs on my face... Can't... Breath. She loosed it a bit to face me, and for the first time, she smiled for me. "You. Love. Anna-chin."

"W-What...?!" What?! No! I don't love that suicidal vampire! That dumbire! I just don't want her to make a stupid choice! I've already lost... Friends because of it! "It's not like that, Tasha! I just don't want her to get hurt! No, wait, I want to kill her myself! Yeah! That's why!"

"Bad. Liar. Love."

"Shut up! I hate you, Tasha!"

"You know, Ichijou... I wonder how you would be without the Boosted Gear." Snapping me out of my little struggle with Tasha, Aria-san pcalled for me, and was now smiling brightly for me. She reached for my head and patted right there. I don't get. Have I changed? In what? "I was hoping for you to end up in the cold, distant and stoic type, but instead, I got you. You've... You've changed a lot."

"What are talking about, Aria-san? I never changed. I just have a new objective now." I said with a glacé pose, growling at Tasha as she's still hanging around my neck. Aria-san snickered. I frowned. "What? I'm me. The old, constant Ichijou! I changed? Yeah, right."

And she snickered again, but before I could retort her, she came even closer and hugged me. Again with that sensation... Why Do I hate this so much? I turn so calm with those. Maybe I'm really losing what is left of humanity in me. I sighed, and hugged her back. Tasha encircled us and closed the gap left. From Aria-san's Mouth, I could her say 'Sorry'. I don't know why, but this made me happy... I looked at the stick on my hand. It says 'winner'.

My only luck shot during this whole day...

We end our Dagashis in peace, and soon enough, we bid farewells, as Aria-san said something about 'taking care of Nemesis's stress'(the less I know about it, the better.), and since a storm is coming up, Tasha would still be around, so she volunteered to take me home. Unfortunately, for my embarrassment, we went home in a piggyback ride.

"Tasha, put me down! I'm okay, really! I can walk!"

"Negative. Too much bruises. Stay quiet. I. Take you home." She said, while I was covering my blushing face with my hands. Those things won't be stopping anytime soon, are they? I can't complain, because my body is indeed crap now. Just avoid brute movements, and I'll be good as new tomorrow. Kinda. "You. Good guy."

"Geez, thanks."

We arrived at my house, and once Tasha put me down, I stretched a little and walked to my entrance door. Before anything, I looked around, and nothing new. Maybe it's just Ryuubi-chan for now...

I opened the door and took a quick glance at the entrance floor. I was surprised to see a new pair of shoes at it. Those are definitely from mum! She's home! Best of it: apparently, my dumb sisters are still away from some reason. Yeah! But also, no! This means she probably knows about Ryuubi-chan! Oh, crap! Better get It on and try to explain myself! Discarding my own pair and running to the living room, I entered the place already with a bow.

"Welcome home, mother! And I know what you're thinking, but Ryuubi-chan is just passing by! She can't go because of the storm and...!"

"Snoooore~... Snooooore~..."

"kyun~... Kyun~... Kyun~..."

"What...?" But instead of a warming welcome or some scolding due to the new unknown girl, I heard snores and sighs coming from the living Room, which made me lift my head, and fill it with dozens of question...

Why is Auntie Alice here?

Why is she and my mom down to their underwear?

Why do I smell alcohol?

Why is auntie Alice groping my mom?

Why are they asleep?

Why is Auntie Alice here?(version 2.0)

"Oooh~, lesbian org-..."

*CLUCH!*

"One word. One more word, and you die, Tasha!" And before she could complete that disturbing joke, I picked her by the cheeks with only one hand and clutched them together before anything but air was leaving her lips. My mind is already a mess, I don't need a trigger to push me further over the edge. Strangely enough, it was Ryuubi-chan whom disrupted my own reveries, as she appeared by the kitchen door with a cup of juice in her hand.

"Oh! Greetings again and welcome back to thy residence, Hong Long." She smiled at me, as she started to pick my mother's and Auntie Alice's clothes, folding and putting them on the sofa in the most unneeded neat way possible. I was still stuck because of the two madams fallen on my floor, one of them my dear progenitor, and simply pointed to them waiting for an answer. Ryuubi-chan was fast on the catch. "It looks like you've see the mess lady Gremory caused here..."

"..." No shit.

"Well, it all started with our lovely noon dinner. We ate some fish, some miso soup and even a little of rice and meat, when Lady Gremory brought her sake breed from heavens. Things happened, and she convinced Lady Anzu to start a drinking competition. And... Well... They battle like true goddesses of Drinking!" She said with a fist to the heavens, smiling triumphantly and screaming that last sentence to the heavens above.

"Don't look so proud about my mother drinking her ass off!" I said, but soon shutting myself off so my mother wouldn't wake up with a severe headache. Geez, thanks a lot, Lady Gremory~, my mom is a goddamn mess when she drinks. She'll be so grumpy tomorrow. Whatever, better put things in order. "Look, just... Help me cover them. I don't want them to catch a cold. My mom is already moody in a hangover, you don't want to see her during a cold."

"Much thoughtful! Let us help our dear mother Anzu!" And another one calling mum 'mother', not to mention now she chose to call her 'Anzu'. Well, whatever. We picked a big king-sized blanket on the closet, and with it, we covered the two adults with it, being sure to not miss any part of it and having the problem of catching a cold. With that out of the way, I sat on the sofa and sighed. My body hurts, and now, I have nothing to eat. At least I'm at home. Ryuubi-chan then sat next to me. "Welcome back! How was your day, Hong Long?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I sighed again, facepalming and trying to stretch my body only to wince in pain. A Rating Game and now a battle Royale against the ninjas, what a week. At least my problems are over for now. "Now what? We can't watch tv because of there two, and I'm not hungry. I think I'll hit the sack..."

"...-!"

"Shut up, Tasha."

"Well, we can't watch this 'teeveeh' or do anything because this will disturb or dear mother, but we can do something else!" Ryuubi-chan said, standing up and clenching her hand into a fist in determination. I got a bad feeling about this' "I know! Since we're still to know each other, Hong Long, let us participate in a ritual of mutual bonding and trust!"

"Ah, another one of those?" I moaned. What? We're gonna share sake like yakuza? Well, two of our party are already out of commission, so a little more into it won't be bad after all. "Whatever. I'm a little sore, so I hope I don't need to do much during it."

"Don't worry, Hong Long! This won't take long, and we won't need anything else except ourselves!"

"Eh...?"

.

~~x~~

.

Sometimes I wish I could just turn back in time and completely change my choice of words...

Granted, that was a thing since they made me break up with Nina-chan and Julia-chan, but this is another situation which recalls me of that...

Right now, I'm facing Tasha's naked back, sitting on a plastic stool, almost completely naked sans my private parts covered by a pink towel, and behind me, there was the heiress of the Three Kingdom dynasty, equally naked and pouring some liquid soap on her hands...

"Care to explain why the hell we need to do this?!" I screamed to her, as Tasha covered her ears to probably avoid having her eardrums exploded. Ryuubi-chan laughed, and lifted her hand in a rather professional way.

"Don't you know, Hong Long? In order to strength our bonds as a family and a peerage, we must overcome our fears of leaving our backs hard to each other! By showing ourselves in our weakest and most vulnerable state, we are trusting each other with the our utmost loyalty and signs of Bonding!"

"But we really need to prove our trust in each other in that way?"

"You can thrust me anyway, Tsukino-chin."

*WHACK!*

"Ow~... Head. Hurts."

"Gosh, I missed that."

"So, let us begin! Hong Long, please wash Tasha-dono's back! I'll be washing yours own while She will wait for her turn!" I tried to say 'no', but she gave me a sponge and turned me anyway to wash Tasha's back. And here I am again, in a situation which will probably kill me, under the same roof where my personal executioners live. Fortunately, they're still in vacation, so I'm safe for now.

I sighed, took a deep breath, and picked the small washing towel from my side to Tasha's back, beginning to scratch her back with it and producing some more foam. Oh, wow, her skin is so smooth and delicate. I might rip it apart just from washing it like that. Another thing: this trusting thingy... Is actually working. Yeah, somehow, I feel a lot better now. No pain, no fatigue, just the small itch in my left hand because of the fracture from before, but nothing else. It's... Good. Really good.

"So, how is it? Good, huh?" Ryuubi-chan said as she washed my back with an incredible delicacy I doubted she had. She's really good in that, maybe she's using an old Chinese technique by pressing some pressure points. I nodded in response, and she smiled. "Thank goodness. Master Sun Wukong did teach me well. Not even the highest ones could withstand my massages! And nothing more fitting than pleasure the red dragon with it!"

"Y-Yeah..." I said, now trying my best not to moan. That would be embarrassing. Instead, I focused on Tasha's back, while herself has been awfully quiet now. No jokes? So unlike her.

"Okay, time to change! Hong Long, you'll be in charge to wash my backs, while Tasha-dono will be washing yours!" She said back. We all turned around to do the opposite.

Now, I was facing Ryuubi-chan's back. And what a back. She's all covered in scars, scratches and muscles, but somehow still manages to have a feminine appeal. I touched her once, and she's so stiff and strong. Her skin is also so rough, but smooth and hot. She's like marmor with this skin, so hard yet elegant. Handsome monkey King, eh? Fitting. I touched her there with a finger, and she moaned...

"Haw~..."

"Sorry."

"Do not worry, Hong Long. It's just it has been so long since someone touched my back. I forgot how sensitive I am there." She turned around and smiled. This kinda reminds me of another manga I read long time ago, something about 'a clean back is from a man whom never flee from a battle' or something like that. I picked a sponge and began to scrub her back with it. "Oooh~! Nice one, Hong Long! You are a lot more smooth than I Thought!"

"R-Really? Much appreciated, I guess..." I sighed. Maybe I am good in another thing besides cooking, unlike my sisters used to say. "You have also such a nice back, Ryuubi-chan. It must took you years to have something like that."

"Affirmative! Sun Wukong was a monster during my training. But don't worry, now, nothing can stop me thanks to my iron skin!"

"Is that so? Well, good for you." I said. Now I'm doing a genuine compliment. What the hell is wrong with me?

By the way, Tasha is really all quiet back here. I wonder what happened. She's not even scrubbing my back or anything. No, wait, better avoid that. She's probably thinking about something perverted to say about this situation. Like something about 'going raw' or 'I'm wet' or something along those lines. I won't be surprised... Ah. I need more soap, this one's dry already.

"Hey, Ryuubi, could you pass me the lotion? I need more foam here." I said, stopping my scrubbing section to call for her attention.

"Of course, Hong Long!" She said to me as she picked something and passed it to me. I was about to say something, but the thing in there made me despair internally...

That's not liquid soap! It's that ointment Auntie Alice gave m-...!

*CLUTCH!*

*FOOOOOOOOIM~!*

"Ah!" But before I could say something, a pair of arms clutched by my back around my chest, and a pair of soft, squishy pillows went down clashing against my back! A shiver ran down my spine, as now I could feel two pointers going up-and-down by it! "Gah! Tasha! What are you doing?!"

"Washing~... Your~... Back~..." Her speech is even more paused than before! I turned around to see how to escape this situation, and she had a very lewd expression on her face! And now she bit my ear! Brrrr! That's hot-... That's horrible!

"Hey! C'mon now! Stop it! Ryuubi-chan, help me ou-...!"

*RUB!*

"What?!"

"Excellent idea, Tasha-dono! Let us wash ourselves with our bodies! I'll be washing Hong Long's chest with my back, while you wash his back with your chest!" She said in a happy tone! No! This is not an excellent idea! This is an hot... Rrendous idea! Ryuubi-chan is now rubbing her smooth, soft skin again my chest, and my body is getting hot because of the contact with them! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Calm down, Ichijou! Just count down Pi! 3,14...

...

Oh, yeah. I just remember those.

"Aaah~. How curious~! My head is getting blank~!" Ryuubi-chan said as she rubbed her back against me even harder, while moans were escaping her mouth. Her face was also turning bright red. "Haaaw~! Haaaw~! I'm getting hot~! Is this the effects of this medicine~!"

"You knew it was the goddamn Ointment?!"

"Waaah~! Waaaah~! Tsukino-chin~!" Was all Tasha could moan, right next to my ear and blowing the nape of it while violently rubbing her breasts against my back, clinching her arms even more against my back! I can feel her nipples touching my skin!

"Look! I think we are already clean enough! Time to dive! C'mon-...!" I tried to escape that erotic sandwich and reach the tub so that I could dive in and drown myself to death! However, the floor was wet, and the stool I was sitting on slipped with the sudden movement! And since they're rubbing on me...

"Kyah...!"

"Whoa...!"

*SLIP!*

*BAM!*

*BOING! BOING!*

...

"..." I can feel them. Both of them. They fell on top of me, and now I'm with my eyes closed, waiting from them to get off of me or something. Instead, however, they just continued to rub themselves against me. Softness, pointers, fleshy meat rubbing against my scars and skin, while everything I could do was to bit my tongue...

"Waaah~... Waaah~... Tsukino-chin...!"

"Hong Long~...! Hong Long~...!"

"..."

...

I dunno if it's the Ointment, but for me, that's it.

"That's enough." Was everything I said before they could reach any lower. They gasped in surprise, by before they could ask for anything else, I stood up and, dominated by rage, pinned them to the floor by their wrists. "That's it! I'm tired sick of you girls trying to pin me down, control me or just having a good time with my misery! It's payback time, now!"

"Eh...?!" Both of them said, as I reached fork the lotion and handed a good amount out of it, covering my hands with that gooey medicine from hell! I reached for them, as squeeze one of each of their breasts as hard as I could. Their only response was a sweet moan. "Hyaaaaah~...!"

And everything after that went completely blank. I just recall that Tasha has sensitive breasts, While Ryuubi-chan is very vulnerable in her ass... And moans, so much moans...

"HYAAAAH~! Tsukino-chin~!"

"HONG LOOOONG~~...!"

...

.

~~x~~

.

Uhh~... What happened? I really need Another way to have some timeskip, because getting knocked out is getting annoying by now. My body is all cold now, but not sore anymore, and I was resting my head on some very soft pillows. The cold wind is probably coming from the open window. It's nighttime from I can see, or rather, can't see...

Also, I can'f move for some reason...

"Ah! You're awake now!" I heard from above my head, and then I noticed: those are not pillows! They're Ryuubi-chan's breast-okay, that joke is old, so I'm not really that surprised. She's hugging my head, and I'm hugging her by the stomach. Also, she was wearing my Minatsu's pajamas, and I'm back to my shirt and shorts. Now that's a bummer. "How do you feel now?"

"W-What happened?" I said in a low tone, as she hugged me tighter and giggle. I remember the naked back-washing, the revelation, the awkward 'soap-landing', my efforts to escape and then...

"You hit your head pretty hard on the tub." ... Having a threesome with the rook and the Bish-hitting my head on the goddamn tub! Yes! That's right! That's what happened! Not... Illicit... Sexual... Encounters. "I must say, your endurance and durability are improving, Hong Long! You broke the tub pretty hard and was even shouting something with the kinds of 'I won't be controlled anymore' and alike. Must've been really intense, epic dreams!"

Epic, no. Intense... I think I just wet myself in a way...

"Uh-huh... Yeah, epic dreams." I said back. There's also something tugging me from behind, clutching my waist. As sluggish as possible, I looked back, and now, I can see that Tasha's here too, wearing Shion's hostess uniform and hugging me from behind, sleeping like a baby. "Uuh~... Ryuubi-chan, about my clothes..."

"The sound you produced awoke dear mother Anzu. She picked some clothes for ourselves and dressed you up! She's really the mother of the legendary Hong Long." Oh, so mother, even though she was probably snappy at the time, took her time to dress me up and put me onto bed. However, like I was expecting, Ryuubi-chan grimaced a little. "But her demeanor regarding our status was not the best. Her divine punishment even penetrated my iron skin skill. Heheh..."

Classic mum, putting the Tsukino siblings in their place since XXXX...

"Classic mom..."

*FOM! FOM!*

"Uuuh...?" What am I pinching right now?

"Oh. That tickles!" Ryuubi-chan laughed. Wait, what tickles? What the hell Tickles?! This is not cloth, this is skin! Soft skin! Under cloth! "Hong Long, don't tickle my posterior! I'm seriously sensitive there!"

"...!" I'm touching her butt! Her ass! Her posterior! Her backstory! My face on the plot and my hands on her backstory! I'll become a sexual deviant like my dad! Nooooo!

No, calm down, that was probably an Unconsciousness thing. I was probably asleep. After All, I wouldn't touch a girls butt like that...

"It's warm, isn't it? Just don't pinch it." She said as she continued to pat me on the head. Yeah, being spoiled like that sure is nice from time to time. Not to mention, her ass sure is a nice warm spot. I still can't believe I snuck my hands to inside a girl's panties in my sleep, not to mention that dream I had. Am I really that of a pervert? Or is their influence towards me? Another thing: women have weak spots... That's a great info for a new technique...

...

...

Gah! Focus! Ichijou! It's not the time to think about women's butts! Annie is around and is planning to kill the current vampire King! You have to stop her, and stop Ren to try to kill her! All while taking care of a goddamn reunion! I said all those cool things to Aria-San and Ren, yet I have no idea how to do it!

"Hmmm...!" I said, motorboarding Ryuubi-chan in frustration. This is so complicated! I thought maybe being reckless would be the answer, but the more I think about, the stupider everything becomes! It's downright suicidal!

"What's the matter, Hong Long? Having a bad dream?" The pinkerette called oh so sweetly, while patting me even softer. I'm having another turbulence in my life.

"Hey, Ryuubi-chan... Do you ever wonder so hard about something that, during those, you just wanted everything to disappear?"

"Negative!" Oh... That was quick.

"...?"

"Hong Long, let me tell you something: I never wonder. I never dream; I never think of tomorrow!" She said with conviction. That actually surprised me. To think the descended of a warlord would have that kind of mentality.

"Why's that?"

"I've learn that back in the Jade Palace. Master Sun Wukong would say: if you think too much into the future, you won't ever live the today." Ryuubi-chan hugged me tighter. "So... I live everyday. It's good that way. Drink when you can drink, sleep when you can sleep, eat when you can eat, fight when you have to fight. That's the secret of a good life."

"..." I sighed. Of course she wouldn't think like that. She's a supernatural since birth. On my side, I'm an ex-human. I gotta think about the future, or else I'll get none, no matter how frustrating and scary it is. "That's a very simplistic way of thinking. I can't think like that."

"Why? Don't you like where are you now? I can hug tighter if you want." She said as she gently pulled me further into her bosom. Uuuh~, I can't say that I don't like it, but that's not the problem here. "That's how it is for me. If it's good, then I stay; if it's bad, I just go away and look for something else. That's why I left the Jade palace and joined Gremory's army."

"..."

"So... If you have any problems, let those go away for tonight and have a good night of sleep. After all... We have many tomorrows. Don't think much or else you'll run out of them..."

She said that in such a soothing way, I couldn't help it but blush a little. She's failing, but Ryuubi-chan is trying to help me... She fell asleep in a few seconds, while I was still awake, sandwiched between my bishop and rook, and waiting something to happen...

Live everyday... No. I won't think that way... I can't. Not when Annie is around there, somewhere, probably practicing some ancient techniques and whatnot... And she'll be killed anyway... Probably. While I'm here, doing nothing to prevent that...

I can't... I won't be like that.

Ever...

.

~~x~~

.

And that's how popular my boy is getting: being the center of two lovely girls~. He already have Rina-chan, Annie-chan, Yoko-chan and now Ryuubi-chan and that new girl, Tasha or whatever... Ah, Hajime, if I ever told you, you'd be probably be crying tears of joy and pride...

My head is itching a little again, as I gulped down another bottle of water besides the door to my Son's room. I can't believe I drank too that much, and I can't believe Ichijou broke the bathtub, or how ripped he's right now. What kind of camp trip was that?! It's not much, but wow was that a step!

Eh, they're asleep now. And none on my... Step-daughters or daughter are back. I can rest for now knowing that nothing will happen. However, I can't. My hangover is trying to kill me, and I still have to deal with Alice-san. Ah! Know what? I need another bottle of water...

Sluggish and groggy as only a drunk person can, I crawled my way down the stairs and to the kitchen(that sake was the bomb in all the ways imaginable), only standing up to grip the handle of the fridge and open it to pick another bottle of water...

I opened it with my mouth, aka bit the bottle off, and drank the water of it in just one gulp. Now with that cold liquid in my system, I feel a little better now. A little, as in 'it hurts slightly less than hell' kinda way. Fuck it, it'll still be a bitch to deal with later, so better have a night of sleep to welcome it better tomorrow.

I walked from the kitchen to the living room, where Alice-san was still asleep on the floor and hugging the legs of the table, and I was about to fall down the sofa to take another break, when something caught my eye:

a beautiful bouquet of roses was resting on the table. A gush of wind blew from the window, which if my drunk mind remembers correctly wasn't open at any time, making some petals fly around. That's certainly curious. Next to it, a little paper with something written on it. I tried my best, and the words in it were...

.

'Thank you for letting me stay for a while...

Face this as a 'see you later' gift'

.

Huh... No name. I wonder from who this is. Ah, whatever. I made myself a good bed using the sofa, laid myself in there and pulled the blanket away from Alice-san to myself. Tomorrow is another day...

Tomorrow is another day...

"Lady Anzu, it's cold~..."

"Face it for today, Alice-san."

"Waaaah~..."

Yay, and here I am again evading the rating with a soap-landing on Ichijou. You guys know in what this will lead, right? Boob-gropping with Rina, bathing with yoko, soap landing with raven, tasha and ryuubi... He'll end up having sex with Annie if I'm not careful. I hope that I balanced well the scens, so anything isn't convoluting much or anything. Like always, stay golden!