Something was very wrong with the abode of the Lernean Hydra. The stone pillars had been smashed up, there were scored marks all up the walls of the chamber, and the lava had been splattered around the place like the last time leaving it in a state similar to the kitchens of the House when Zagreus had tried to make moussaka.

And of course, the Lernean Hydra was hanging around the chamber. Here and there. A bit over there, a bit over there, a bit - oh, yes, that was definitely a jawbone - down there. And, Zagreus winced, someone jammed one of the heads, neck first, down the throat of another.

"... and that'd be another broken jaw. Fracture of the third cervical vertebra, fourth, fifth, seventh. And the sixth cervical vertebra may or may not be broken, because it is entirely missing."

"Murderrrr."

"Oh, it's over there." The first speaker adjusted her fussy little glasses. "So yes, sixth cervical vertebra has been removed, and also fractured. And-"

"Alecto! Tisiphone!" Zagreus declared loudly, spreading his arms wide in greeting. The fact that he held the Stygian Blade in his hand made the gesture somewhat more threatening than he intended. "How are two of my three favourite Fury sisters?"

Alecto whirled on him, eyes narrowed and teeth bared. Sadistic was she, the tormentor of those whose crimes are born of passions, wrathful wrath-bringer, blood-drenched Fury Alecto. "You! Redblood!"

"I had absolutely no idea that you had looked so good in glasses," fearless and none-too-wise Zagreus proclaimed.

Alecto snatched her reading glasses off, and glared at him, her expression promising death. "I will paint the walls with your blood and only then will I let you die," her words also promised. "If you tell anyone."

"That you need reading glasses. You don't want me to tell anyone that you need reading glasses."

"I do not!" Alecto's mood was damn near crystalising off the walls, and she looked very much in the mood to toss some vicious shredding tearing whirly blades that probably had a formal name. Zagreus didn't know that name, because he had only encountered said blades as an end-user, or more strictly end destination.

"I don't think I've ever seen you reading before. Honestly, 'reading' wasn't part of my mental image of you."

"I was not reading! This is filing an incident report! Which your father Lord Hades insists on, redblood!"

"Murder-er-er," Tisiphone agreed, shaking her withered, corpse-like face at the silliness that her sister would be embarrassed by such a petty thing.

"Thank you, Tisiphone," Zagreus said. "She is being ridiculous."

Alecto's whip-crack echoed through the room. Because she wasn't Tisiphone, she couldn't actually hit Zagreus from where she was standing, but it was still loud. "I am here doing my job, halfblood! And I think we've just solved the murder!"

"Wait. Wait, wait wait." Zagreus pulled a face. "You are investigating the murder of the Lernean Hydra. You know it's just going to regenerate by the next time I show up, right?"

"That doesn't make a difference! Murder is Tisiphone's business and passion is mine, so we get to hunt!"

"Zah-gree-us," Tisiphone said, shaking her head. Zagreus got the impression she would rather be wherever the non-Meg Fury sisters went when they were on leave.

"Hey, Alectro, chill it," quoth Zagreus, holding out both his hands. "Firstly, given I beat Meg to get here, what makes you think you have a chance against me?"

"Oh, that is it!"

"Murrrder!" snapped Tisiphone.

"You heard what he said!" Alecto said, knuckles whitening around her whip handle.

"Zah-gree-us! Mur-mur murder!"

"Your 'secondly' better be a good reason for me to not kill you, redblood!"

Zagreus felt he had probably gotten away with everything he could with Alecto. "Secondly, it's against the rules for you to fight me here. Because I already beat one of you to get out of Tartarus, so you can't fight me here."

"That's not a rule!"

"Murder murrrder!"

"See, listen to Tisiphone."

"It's not a rule! It's a guideline at most!"

"And thirdly," Zagreus continued, "I'm not the one who did this. I've only just gotten here. And you know I can't go backwards. Haven't worked out how to just go back a room. I mean, apart from dying and starting from the beginning again. But that's not really the same. Everything has re-organised when that happens."

"Get to the point!"

"I wasn't the one who did this. And I know the one who did." His gesture took in the room; the wanton destruction, the chaos, and more importantly the blade marks on the walls. "Look at this. The person who did this scaled the walls. And probably did things like pull up one of the hydra's heads and start beating the others with it. Eye-gouging, in my professional opinion, was almost certainly involved. And I can tell," he stroked his chin, "yes, yes, I am almost certain that the weapon of choice was two blades on the end of chains.

"Yes," said Zagreus the cheater as he already knew the answer, "the culprit was the Ghost of Sparta!"

"Murderer," Tisiphone agreed, nodding.

"Oh, you already suspected that?"

"Murderer." Tisiphone gestured, taking in the nature of the damage, the blade marks on the bone, and the crumbling hand prints on the edge of one of the skulls. "Mmmmmmurderer."

"Well, yes, I suppose so."

Alecto shot him a hateful glare. "Even if you agree with Tis, redblood, that doesn't mean you're not a runaway. And my mission is to drag you back to your father. The hard way. Which is also the fun way for me."

"Uh uh uh," Zagreus ran his hand through his hair, "I'm actually working for the House at the moment. My father has a contract out on the head of the Ghost of Sparta. And I'm looking to collect." He gave his best rakish grin. "My blade needs more blood of the titans. And I intend to kill that man."

With a crow-harsh laugh, Alecto threw back her head. "You? Beat Kratos?"

"Oh, that's his name?" Zagreus said, interested. "No one's used that name, you know? They've just been calling him the Ghost of Sparta. Thank you! See, this is what we get when people work together and share information. In fact…" he trailed away, the light of inspiration in his eyes.

"Zah-gre-us," Tisiphone said wearily.

He pumped his fist. "Yes! You know what this means?"

"Zah-gree-us murder," Tisiphone groaned, hand going to her face.

"Yes! We're going to team up! Zagreus, Alecto and Tisiphone! Solving crimes! Investigating the murder of mythological beings! Hunting down the Ghost of Sparta and taking him down!" He swung his sword around, holding it like a lyre, and struck a pose he was under the impression was both dashing and heroic. "In the name of my father's realm, Kratos, we will stop you!"

"Murderer," Tisiphone said, shaking her head.

"Aww, come on, Tis. Imagine this. I'm the bad boy, the would-be runaway, teaming up with you two to take down an even worse criminal. We can get Orpheus to make a song about it. And maybe some theme music. Think about it."

"Mur. Der. Er," Tisiphone said emphatically.

"But you don't know you won't enjoy it until you try it, right?"

"Zah-greus," she said, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I am not being ridiculous."

"Zah."

"What do you mean, no more ridiculous than usual?"

"Murderer mmmmurder Zah."

"I am hurt. Hurt. Surely you can see something that Meg sees in me?"

"Zahgre-us murderer-er."

Unusually, Alecto was silent, probably because her rage had momentarily stripped her of the capacity for speech. "Me! Work with you? The most annoying, worst mistake of my sister? Never! Ever ever!" she spat. "I am going to kill you! Here and now!"

"Alecto," Zagreus said, with an easy grin, "we both know how this is going to end."

The fury's fury exploded.

But the impudent prince of the Underworld was not incorrect when he stated how the fight would end, and soon rageful Alecto was left sinking into a pool of her own blood as the Styx claimed her.

"I'll get you yet!" she croaked.

Zagreus was tempted to tell her 'You said that last time', but he felt that was below him. Instead, he leant on his sword and looked over at Tisiphone. "Are you going to fight me?"

"Zah-gre-us," she said, shaking her head. She shrugged. "Murderer," she added, pointing up at the exit to Elysium.

"Yes, that is a problem," Zagreus agreed. "Tell you what, if you hear anything, tell me, and I'll tell things I pick up in return. I know you're not allowed up in Elysium much, even though a lot of the inhabitants should really fall under your authority."

"Murdererrrr," she agreed.

And with a jaunty step that hid the fear in his stomach, Zagreus waved her goodbye and headed up to palatial Elysium, looking for the Ghost of Sparta - now free in the realm of deceased heroes.