The Urahara Shop Computer
Disclaimer: Tite Kubo is the author of the popular manga/anime series and has complete ownership of all official Bleach characters. I do not own anything that is mentioned as a crossover cameo from anime, manga, video games, music, TV shows, movies, or otherwise. The only thing I own from this collection story is any/all Original Characters, plots, drabbles, etcetera. I only own my characters Sekai and Rin Ishtal.
SNL Gets Bleached
The sounds of city traffic are heard as people walk by the camera's focus of a small corner shop on a busy intersection. Inside the shop is an orange-haired young man in his late teens, and he's sweeping up the shop floors. There is light applause from our hidden audience.
"Come again soon," bids a beautiful woman behind the counter as the man leaves with a white bag filled with candy.
"Wendee, this sucks. Where the hell is Hat-n-Clogs right now?"
Yoruichi, playing the part of a woman named Wendee Lee, smiles softly.
"Doug should be here soon. You know how he is, Johnny."
The man mutters something incoherent under his breath just as the door opens. Applause and cheers sound off as the man who walked in is Jimmy Fallon playing the part of a typical Chicagoan. And with him, is a man with pale blond hair wearing a green and white-striped bucket hat.
"Johnny! Wendee! Look who came to visit the business from Illinois! It's my cousin from my second distant family on pa's side."
"Oh, hey. I'm Johnny Yong."
"I'm Wendee Lee. Nice to meet you," Wendee greets with her smile.
"Hey, the name's Michael Erholtz," the man introduces himself with a lazy wave.
Johnny (Ichigo) snickered.
"Really? Erholtz?"
"Got a problem?" Michael said, staring down Johnny.
"Now, now, despite his funny last name, no fighting in my shop," said Doug (Urahara).
In Soul Society, Rukia and the others were gathered around a large TV that Shunsui somehow acquired. Of course, the folded cardboard box in the background had a chibitized drawing of Kisuke Urahara on it, and the addressed was to Soul Society with a message: to tune into a certain broadcast channel.
And of course, the TV just had to be modified by Urahara's hands...
Otherwise the gathered group who were best friends with the lovable strawberry wouldn't be watching this right now...
"Huh... this is very interesting," said Shunsui, sipping some sake.
"So, Ichigo's become an actor in the World of the Living, huh?"
"Looks like," Rukia said aloud, munching on some cookies.
The continue watching the opening skit of a television show, in which the dialogue turned a bit boring at first, until a wall section breaks down, scattering the obviously fake bricks and in stumbled a large monster that resembled a Hollow. Or rather... it looked like one... made of felt and puppetry parts, and looked really cheesy and comical despite the sound effects of a monster's roar being heard.
Michal would freak out, but Johnny would simply toss his broom into the air, catch it like an expert swordsman and immediately attack the "monster". The fight scene only lasted around a minute, in which the "final blow" triggers the crack release of the puppet. The sound of a kazoo whistling is heard with tons of confetti "spewing" as the puppet strings are let go and it "dies".
"What in the hell? Is that normal here in Japan?"
"Pretty much," said Doug with a lazy shrug, digging around under the counter and pulls out a huge expensive-looking sake bottle, and three cups. "We usually just take shots of sake after John saves the city from these random monster attacks. It's become as normal everyday living as the destruction and property damage the Sailor Soldiers leave behind after they claim to save Tokyo in the 90s."
A light laugh is heard from the audience.
"Oh yeah. Didn't they get sued for causing tons of property damage and never cleaning up after themselves?" questions Wendee.
"Why else would the Emperor finally get tired and sick the Japanese Defense Force on those girls. Then again, they make a great ero-manga series," said Doug, lifting up a manga book with the cover completely whiten out.
Wendee used a paper fan to smack Doug over the head. It was Doug's paper fan, his trademark item.
Michael stared. "Really? This is normal?" he would ask again, in disbelief at how blasé his cousin and his apparent friends were acting. He poked the "corpse" with his foot.
"Yes," the three Japanese adults say in unison.
"Of course, it could have been worse," Doug trails off, as he pours himself a shot, his trademark fan taken back from Wendee's hand.
"Oh yeah? What does that mean, Doug?" asked Michael.
Kisuke Urahara snaps shut his trademark paper fan and grins towards the main camera. "Live from New York, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!"
And cue the intro for Saturday Night Live...
Rukia and the others stare at the television monitor. So THAT's what Ichigo was up to ever since losing his Shinigami powers? Turning into a comedian actor with Kisuke and Yoruichi?