The Urahara Shop Computer
Disclaimer: Touhou Project and all its official characters, concepts, locations, etcetera is owned by ZUN. Bleach and all its official characters, concepts, locations, etcetera is owned by Tite Kubo. All known characters from The Familiar of Zero belong to Noboru Yamaguchi. World Wrestling Entertainment belongs to World Wrestling Entertainment. I do not own anything else considered cameo from anime, games, and etcetera. All I own are my original characters used in this story, and my original character Sekai Ishtal.
Author's Note: Excuse me while I upload this. For mocking Mother Nature, the prank she pulled was dumping to my knowledge a foot of snow or more in the state of Iowa (where I live). :P I made fun of this on Friday, and a day later I woke up Sunday morning and found a blizzard outside my bedroom windows.
Hartford, Connecticut was supposed to have a live RAW after the Royal Rumble. It didn't happen because of Winter Storm Juno hammering much of the northeast area. RAW still had a show, only full of interviews, and replays of the triple threat championship match and controversial Royal Rumble match. Eventually WWE held their show in Hartford, making Smackdown a live event. The following week however was supposed to be the return of Sekai Ishtal, winner of the Royal Rumble.
Winter Storm Linus on the other hand slams the state of Iowa, where Sekai the previous week decided the family should skip to instead of going to Connecticut in order to dodge what (later proved true) appears to be a winter storm. So Monday Night RAW started off live from Denver, Colorado, with the Royal Rumble winner (and his social group of friends/family) absent.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Chief Operating Officer of WWE, and the Vice Principle Owner of WWE, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, The Authority," announced Lillian.
Inside the ring were all the members of The Authority.
"Welcome everybody to Monday Night RAW, live at the Pepsi Center, in Denver," Triple H opens up the show, much to the mixed boos and some cheers from the live audience. "Well, that was interesting. I thought I heard some cheering."
"Well, it has been an interesting week, Hunter. RAW was canceled in Hartford due to Juno dumping a lot of snow in the area. And when it went away we managed to give every WWE fan who were going to be at RAW attend Smackdown instead, accepting the RAW tickets with no problems. Then we had the Super Bowl on the weekend."
"Yup. It has been nothing but surprises at every turn, controversy, and that GoDaddy commercial gone viral. You know the one with the puppy?"
"That was pure emotional blackmail," said Stephanie.
"Yes it was. We had Winter Storm Juno in the northeast, and it went away allowing the shut-down cities to slowly get back up and active again. In a telephone interview last Monday Night, David promised that he was going to be here tonight as I addressed the Royal Rumble match ending."
Mixed reactions from the audience.
"David isn't here tonight," Triple H announced.
The fans' boos are heavier in this reaction.
"But there's a reason for his absence. You see, ladies and gentlemen, after the Royal Rumble event, he and his entourage decided to not follow us that night, instead going to Iowa to see his family," Triple H explains, "He was lucky as we got snowed out by Juno and David and his future wife and family were in a less snowy state of Iowa. He apparently mocked Mother Nature because now while we are here tonight in Colorado, David and the group are stuck in Iowa after they got struck by a blizzard of their own."
Stephanie picks up from here. "So, ladies and gentlemen, it was a bit hard, but we managed to get a camera crew down to Iowa. So live via satellite the winner of the 2015 Royal Rumble, David!"
The next thing everybody saw on the TitanTron (for the arena audience) was screaming and shouting.
"Ahh shit! I'm down! I need to be revived!" Sekai screams.
What's seen on the TitanTron was a forty inch LCD flat screen, in a four-way split screen. The familiar groans, shouts, and cries of the undead filtered through the audio, with the loud sounds of ammunitions fired, explosions, and other things relating to zombies mode in a COD game.
"I'm busy right now! I got a horde of zombies barreling down on my ass!" Remilia is heard yelling from the TitanTron.
For the TV viewers, the feed is switched from the camera guy in the ring to the direct satellite feed that was seen on the tron. Four players were embroiled in this rage fest of warfare against the undead armed in exo-skeletal suits: Sekai Ishtal, Remilia Scarlet, Gin Ichimaru, and Riruka Dokugamine. The living room looked cozy and warm, and the surround sound system hooked to the TV looked expensive and rather cool.
"I'm comin' for ya, Sekai! Hold on! I got a horde trying to kill me though!" Gin yells, mashing the buttons on the Xbox 360 controller, shooting down a shit load of exo-zombies.
Sekai cursed. "Celestia damn it! I'm dying here! I'm bleeding out!"
"Shit! I'm down!" Riruka swore, as her character was now downed and the horde of zombies were now chasing after the other two alive players.
"Remi! Gin! Save us already!"
"Shut up! Shut up! I'm thinning out the chasers after me!" Remilia yells at Sekai.
Sekai had a half-hysterical look as he laughed. "We are so not going to win this round..."
"Yes we are! We're going to survive Round Thirty! I'm coming! Just keep these asses off me!"
Gin's character rushes into Sekai's character's view, and the revive icon appeared and began to fill up. Sekai was mashing the fire button to kill the zombies that were still chasing Gin.
"I'm up!" Sekai cheered, and immediately fired more, rushing towards Riruka's last position to revive her.
"Ahh crap! Now I'm down!" Gin yelled.
"Sweet mother of god! Gin!"
"I got overwhelmed!" Gin complains.
"Hang on! I'm coming to save your worthless asses!" Remilia shouted at her team, rushing to Gin's position on the game's map whilst avoiding the gas and electro zombies, and just killing whatever rushed at her.
Sekai found Riruka and began to revive her quickly, but the zombies swarmed. The moment Riruka was revived, Sekai's health took a nasty dive and he was then downed as a result. A nasty swear that can't be repeated is heard from Sekai.
"Ahh damn it! Out of ammo!" Riruka yelled.
Then Riruka was unlucky to get swiped by an electrified zombie that shorted the exo-suit and it had to be rebooted. No exo-abilities online, she was soon downed while trying to run and evade, leaving Remilia the last player to be alive.
"Remilia! They're coming to get ya! Hurry and revive one of us so we can survive!"
"I'm trying, god damn it!" Remilia yelled at Sekai.
"We are so losing this session," Sekai bemoans this fact.
Proven true; Remilia in the middle of reviving Gin got swarmed and she was quickly offed as well. It was officially game over.
Complaints all around in the living room by the four players.
"Damn! We almost won Round Thirty!" Sekai shouted in frustration.
"Well, it got intense by Round Twenty," comments Riruka.
Their watching audience here in Sekai's home he grew up in was smirking, having enjoyed watching this game play chaos.
"Well, that was fun to watch. Never knew Sekai got that crazed during FPS games," Kisuke stated with a wave of his favorite paper fan.
"Shut up," Sekai said.
"Wanna play again?" asks Gin.
That was waved quickly. "Hell no, I'm done." Having the Player One controller, Sekai closed the game, and turned the console off. "What time is it?"
Yukari, from her position in the only recliner in the room, glanced at her phone.
"It's seven o' nine. I think RAW already began," the beautiful blonde informed Sekai.
"Yeah, I see the glowing light on our camera guy indicating the feed went live."
Flandre giggled a bit. "That means the world saw that COD AW game play did they?"
Hiding a smile behind the fan, Kisuke merely nods his head.
Insert two face palms from Sekai and Remilia.
"Well, this just got very awkward," comments Riruka.
Saito was snickering from his spot on the couch facing the wall near the heater vent, snuggled up with Siesta under a blanket.
A long sigh escapes Sekai.
"Oh boy... this will be tough to explain," Sekai is heard saying.
Back in the Pepsi Center, Triple H speaks up on the microphone.
"No, no need to explain. Looks like you four were too engrossed in a game session of Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare in what appears to be the recent DLC release of Exo-Zombies Mode."
They see Sekai switch the channels around from the HDMI channel to the channel USA Network is on in the Quad Cities.
"Is it still snowing outside, Patchouli?"
A pretty-looking woman with a rich shade of very long violet-colored hair looks up from a book she was reading. She gazes outside through the half-opened window blinds that covered the windows.
"Yes. It's still snowing like crazy right now," she answers.
Then she returns to reading her slow romance novel.
"I'm going to check on the stew you asked me to make earlier."
"Well you started it for me an hour ago so it should be done now. I'll taste it," Sekai said, getting up and following Kisuke through the dining room and into the kitchen, the WWE camera guy following right behind.
Triple H speaks up, crude humor tinting his words. "David, if you can hear me, tell me what happened to your promise? You were going to be here tonight on RAW, and yet... you're still in Davenport."
"Yeah well when you mock Mother Nature, half the time she's going to kick you down and keep stomping on your body. Winter Storm Linus is that result. It started early in the morning of Sunday. When we woke up there was already close to four or five inches of snow on the ground and it was like a mass white out. Cold, very windy, blowing snow..."
Tasting a sample of the stew he prepared following Sekai's recipe, he looks to the WWE camera.
"We thought we could get plane tickets to get out of Iowa before the airports closed down due to the weather, but we were already too late, and thus we're all stuck here in Iowa, having filled up Sekai's mom's house."
"I'm worried about mom, though. She was with her friend yesterday afternoon."
Kisuke pats Sekai on the back. "Don't worry. I'm sure your mom is safe and likely staying at her friend's house while we're suffering from this winter storm. Oh, and the stew's ready."
Grabbing the ladle, Sekai stirs the stew in the large pot on the stove. The stew's liquid was at a proper thickness.
"Good, you added the right amount of corn starch. Yup, this stew is indeed ready."
"Stew, huh? Sounds nice on a cold snowy night," comments Stephanie.
"It's my Chicken Beef Stew recipe. Uses whole chicken breasts cut and quartered into cubes and two pounds of beef stewing meat. Cut and peeled potatoes and carrots, chopped onion, lima beans, cut green beans, snow peas, diced celery, whole kernel corn, kosher salt, crushed black pepper, thyme, parsley, seasoned salt, and a splash of soy sauce. It's really delicious if you try some."
"That does sound delicious," Stephanie tells Sekai.
A lot of people were silently agreeing.
"I created this recipe five years ago while I was still Remilia and Flandre's butler. It's a perfect winter hot food to enjoy with those you love and cherish. I'll give you the recipe. Maybe let your daughters taste-test it?"
Stephanie looks to her husband.
Triple H chuckles amusingly. "I see nothing wrong with that. Food is a comfort, especially since we're all here in Denver, and you're stuck in a raging snow storm in Davenport."
"Even though Triple H can be a bit of a douche bag," Remilia speaks up, entering the kitchen, "He is right. You probably caused karma to crap on us when you mocked the weather last Thursday when you were absent for Smackdown in Hartford."
Sekai looked to his fiancé, as he takes out the bowls for the stew, Sakuya entering and grabbing the spoons from the drawer near the stove "Oh? So now it's my fault we're stranded at my mom's house?"
"I'm just saying we should have left on Friday instead of waiting on Sunday. I understand you wanted to help your mom after she got tricked by some eighty year old geezer to giving him money for a car that never existed, but the police could handle all of that."
Sekai sets the bowls down on the blue polished stone granite counter, allowing Sakuya to start serving up the dishes.
"My mom was duped by some old bastard that needed a walker to get around, Remi. What else was I supposed to do? I'm her son. It's a son's job to take care of their mother once he's all grown up."
Remilia grabs hold of his hands. "And I understand that. But threatening to find this old geezer and beat him up is not the proper way to do it. Even though he does kind of deserve it for being a con artist with a rap sheet and having gone to a federal prison for four years..."
"And I'm still upset at her somewhat because mom never listened to anyone in the family when we heard of this. My dad told her it sounded like a scam. My step-mom told her it was a scam. My sister and her boyfriend both told her it was a scam. My uncle heard and told her that it sounded like a scan and not to do it. And when I was told about it by my sister I called her and told her not to do it. She did it anyway."
Gin whistles to the couple.
"Sekai? Rem? Television show, camera guy, live audience?"
Sekai and Remilia look to the direction of Stu the Camera Guy.
"Sounds like a family incident that shouldn't be aired on TV, although it's too late for that," comments Seth Rollins, grabbing his own microphone.
"Well Seth, what would you do if you found out your mom was conned and lost four hundred dollars?" Sekai asks.
"Well I'd likely feel the same way you felt; angry, wanting to help her, and find the guy who conned my mother," Seth answers.
"So, back to the snow storm and the reason all of us aren't livening up RAW tonight?" Gin cuts in.
Sekai sighs. "Well, I'm a bit pissed since I promised everybody I'd be at RAW, and yet I and everyone else here are stuck in Iowa during a snow storm."
Flandre entered the kitchen.
"It was rather funny when Sekai realized we wouldn't be able to leave in time to catch a flight to Denver, and he started going nuts about missing more work."
"I no-showed a no-show, I no-showed last week's Smackdown, and now I'm partially no-showing tonight's RAW. We're live on the TitanTron, Flan, via satellite, and that's it."
"Is that Dish Network or DirecTV?" Flandre inserts a witty question.
Sekai does not answer that.
"Physically, I want to be there and kick some ass and make the audience cheer for some ass kicking. And also ask why people got so pissed that I won the Royal Rumble..."
"Maybe it's because you're not Daniel Bryan or Dolph Ziggler?"
"Flandre! Whose side are you on?" Sekai accuses his sister-in-law.
"What?" she asks him. "I'm just saying... even as a WWE Fan, I think what the people demanded was another Daniel Bryan Wrestlemania show, and they're not getting it because it already happened once. Duplicating it again this year will make it old, and the payout will suck worse than a twenty minute long Triple H monologue."
There is some scattered laughter from the WWE audience in the Pepsi Center.
Flandre continues. "'Sides, Erick Rowan attacked you when you were making your way to the ring, and tried to take you out of the Royal Rumble, and the fans likely booed that night when you stormed out and confronted Roman Reigns near the very end the moment Rusev was thrown out, beat him up in typical Touhou Project fashion, and sent his cute ass over the top rope."
When everybody stared at Flandre, she looks at them.
"What? Roman Reigns does have a nice ass," the younger sister of the Scarlets defended herself.
Kisuke was the first to break out laughing. "I have no idea how to properly respond to that."
Like a tree falling in the woods and someone was there to hear the sound, the rest of the audience in the Pepsi Center break out in laughter with mainly the female half of the audience agreeing with Flandre's statement about former Shield member Roman Reigns. There is a quick camera cut to the backstage, where Roman Reigns was covering his face, an obvious grin plastered on his lips as he covers up his embarrassed face look, and the other guys of the locker room ribbing him on, snickering.
"I thought you liked John Cena?" Remilia asked her sister, camera shot returning to Sekai's mom's kitchen.
The teenager scoffed a bit. "Well I do. But I rather not get beat up by Nikki Bella because she thinks I'm trying to steal her boyfriend away."
And the audience (those who have seen Total Divas on the E Network) all react with hushed oohs.
"And you say I constantly lean against the fourth wall," Sekai directs this statement towards The Authority.
"Maybe it would be best to finish this before it gets even weirder and get the show started with a wrestling match, despite the strange comedy happening here in Iowa," Gin questions The Authority, walking out of the kitchen with his refilled bowl of stew.
"And he and his fiancé are getting married in March, days before Wrestlemania. That's one close family I see," said Stephanie.
"A strange one indeed," Triple H agreed. "So, I guess the odd moral of this segment folks: snow storms suck."
"Was there some sort of punch line to that or are you trying to end this early and cut the feed to my hometown?" asks Sekai.
Triple H's response? Two fingers cutting across his throat, and the TitanTron is replaced with the RAW static logo.
"Well, now that we've completed that, let's get on with business..."
=0=0=0=0=
Yoruichi, the only one who managed to fly to Denver from Tokyo, smiled as she walks away from the TV and takes out her phone. She dials a number. The music for Daniel Bryan's theme was still playing and the audience was still yessing it up for the leader of the Yes Movement. Michael Cole was heard getting on the mic and talking to Daniel in the ring before the microphone would be handed over to the Bearded One.
But a Daniel Bryan promo would be cut unfortunately short as the music abruptly stopped. Up on the TitanTron, was Sekai Ishtal's iPhone, and the ringtone was a piano string tune (or Ringtone Option 2 for Michael De Santa on GTA V). The piano string would ring two more times before a hand grabs it and Sekai is revealed on the screen, as we cut to the TitanTron's full display.
"Hey Yoruichi-chan. So I take it that you've arrived and what we talked about has begun?"
"Yeah. You were right," Yoruichi's voice is heard. Sekai had her on speaker phone. "Triple H and Stephanie McMahon's egos were too big. You called it completely."
"As if there was any doubt," said Sekai, heading into the kitchen and opening the back door. He closes the door behind him (once the camera guy followed) as a brisk cold wind blew through, ruffling at the dark grayish black fleece poncho that he wore.
"They talked about controversy from the Royal Rumble, the Super Bowl, mocked about how the Patriots were Best for Business, and began to mention what you said they would do. You and Yukari were very smart."
"Sweet. That means those who say they want what they want is going to get what they want until they realize nothing will happen in the end." A rather dark smile permeates Sekai's face. "I'm generally a nice guy, but I can be as sadistic as the worst of villains."
A soft chuckle comes from the speakers. "Yeah, you're playing up the Aizen card well."
A laugh left Sekai.
"Come now, I doubt I'm completely like Aizen. Besides, I'm much sexier than Aizen, for one thing."
A bark of a laugh emanates from Yoruichi via speaker phone.
"Anyway, all we have to do is let everything play out. I got things handled. Yoru, if you want you can head back to Osaka. When the airports allow travel again the others will be returning home. Remi, Gin, and Sakuya will keep traveling with me."
"Until Wrestlemania we return, yes?"
"Yeah," he answers, as a camera shot shows Sekai's thumb pressing the disconnect button on the touch screen, thus killing the phone call.
A final camera shot reveals Sekai's face, and the rather evil look he was displaying.
Freeze frame to a blue-hued still shot of that last screen, with three ominous words: To be continued.
I tend to use some real world concepts in some stories that involves our world. The thing about the con artist is unfortunately true and my mom got scammed out of four hundred dollars to some 80 year old man who had a previous record and had once been to a federal prison for four years on similar charged crimes of running some scam on innocent folks. Cops are still investigating at the time of this chapter being written.