To Be a Father
Summary: In a galaxy where things went differently, Anakin Skywalker is hailed the hero of the galaxy as he discovered Sheev Palpatine as a Sith and killed him. It is only after that that he meets Senator Padme Amidala. After their first encounter, Padme discovers she's pregnant and asks Anakin what he wants his role to be to their unborn child.
Anakin Skywalker looked at a blinking light on his commlink that sat on his cluttered workbench. He was fresh from a shower and wore only his pants. Using one hand, he picked up the commlink while the other hand attempted to towel off his hair.
He had spent the past several hours in the Temple dojo teaching a few classes to padawans and younglings. He did a couple o sparring duels with a few other knights and then trained by himself. His commlink had been left in his room, so he was only just now seeing he had a message.
Skywalker. It is urgent that I see you as soon as possible about a personal matter. Senator Padmé Amidala of Naboo.
He smiled.
Not from the message; he wasn't sure what that was about. But from the memory of Padmé Amidala. He hadn't forgotten his last encounter with the senator. It had been at a fancy politician's party, and he had been sent as the Order's liaison, a role he disliked but was often given due to his popularity and fame.
He was the Hero Without Fear, the Jedi Who Saved the Republic and Ended the War. The man who had uncovered the truth that Chancellor Palpatine was really a Sith lord who had orchestrated the entire war. And he was the man who had killed the Chancellor. Not that Anakin had much of a choice. It was either kill or be killed. He had picked the former and now he was hailed as a hero across the galaxy. Even members of the CIS had thanked him.
He wasn't a fan of such parties. Small talk about politics and business was boring, though he could spend hours rambling about engines, pod racing, and his favorite holodramas. He had gotten good at slipping out early or finding a quiet spot to avoid people. It wasn't unlike him to find a stool in the kitchen or in the servant's break room where he would spend time joking with the staff.
At this party, he found a nice dark and quiet spot where he could be alone. He only ventured out to make rounds at being seen, grab something to eat, and then retreat back to hiding his place. But one time when he returned Senator Amidala was there.
He was annoyed his hiding spot had been found and was being used. He snapped at her with rude snarky remarks to get her to leave, but she responded with just as much bite. The banter slowly turned into deeper conversation over shared bottles of wine. One thing had led to another which had led to a very steamy night together.
An encounter that had not left his mind over the past few weeks. He kept thinking about her and not just the sex. He still chuckled when he recalled her jokes and thought heavily on some of her ideas.
He threw his towel on the floor and started to type up a reply to the senator. Of course, he would be happy to meet with her again.
The ride up the turbolift to the senator's penthouse apartment was long. Anakin was dressed in his Jedi robes, not that he had any other clothes to wear. Maybe he should look into getting some other clothes? He didn't really have any credits to his name. The Order took care of all of his expenses, but maybe he could request some clothes. Obi-Wan would know if he could do that. He would have to talk to him.
He ran a hand through his hair as the lift stopped at the top floor. A young woman greeted him at the senator's door and led him through the posh apartment. Everything was done in soft colors and smooth curved lines. He had only visited Naboo once, and that was some years ago. But it was clear this was place was decorated in the Nubian aesthetic.
He was led to a sitting room where Padmé Amidala paced from one side of the room to the next. A blue and white astrodroid was in there with her. That was odd. Why would a senator have an astrodroid?
"My lady, Knight Skywalker is here," the woman announced.
Padmé stopped pacing and turned sharply on her heel and stared at him.
"You're here," she said. "Thank you Ellé."
The young woman bobbed her head and turned around leaving them alone. Well almost.
The dome head of the droid turned toward Anakin and at once started beeping and whistling.
"Ex– excuse me?" Anakin said. "What? What's my fault?"
"Artoo," Padmé said.
The droid went silent. It looked between Padmé and Anakin and then rolled away grumbling about how Anakin was a good-for-nothing.
"Is that your droid?" Anakin asked. "Is there a malfunction in its personality coding? I have never heard a droid so rude."
"You understand binary?" Padmé asked.
"Yeah."
She stood there with her hands clasped tightly in front of her. She was dressed casually in a long dress, and her hair hung in loose curls.
She was beautiful. Breathtaking.
He suddenly recalled the stories spacers used to tell that he would overhear when he was a child on Tatooine. They claimed the most beautiful creatures in the galaxy were the angels on the moons of Iego.
"Are you done staring?"
He blinked. Then blushed.
"Sorry," he muttered glancing down at his shoes.
She let out a long sigh.
"What is it you wanted to see me about?" he asked finally daring to look back up at her. "You said it was a personal matter."
"It is," she said. She had folded her arms across her chest. Her big brown eyes were looking directly at him. "I'm pregnant," she said.
He blinked.
He blinked again.
"What . . . uh . . . congratulations? I . . ." he stuttered. His mind whirled. "Wait . . . is it . . ."
"Yours? Yes."
"You say that with a lot of confidence."
"Because I am completely confident it's yours. I haven't slept with anyone else except you!"
She pointed a finger at him.
"Why are you getting angry?" he asked.
"Because it's your fault!"
"My fault? You were the one that started it! You asked me!"
"Ugh!"
Padmé turned away and marched to the other side of the room and stopped at a large window. Anakin looked around the room not wanting to look at her. Anxiety was building in him as he started to process what she had said.
Pregnant.
She was pregnant.
With his child.
He ran a hand through his hair; then he walked slowly across the room. He paused right beside her and grasped his hands behind his back. The sun was shining gold across the Coursant cityscape. The Jedi Temple rested on the hazy horizon.
"I'm sorry," he said softly.
She let out a small huff. "You don't need to apologize. Sorry for attacking you. This has just all been . . ."
"Like flying a pod racer with only one working engine through Beggar's Canyon?"
She looked over at him with a raised eyebrow and a small smile. "I . . . I plan on keeping the baby."
He could only nod.
"I asked you to come because I wanted to know what you wanted."
"What I wanted? You said you wanted to keep it. That's . . . that's great."
"Not about that," she said. She turned to face him. "I meant, what do you want your role to be?" She clearly read his confused expression. "It's your child, too. How . . . involved do you want to be? How involved can you be? I know Jedi don't marry or have families."
"I don't know," he answered. "This is all . . ." He waved his hands around helplessly.
Her smile grew, and he couldn't help but smile back as his cheeks felt warm.
"It is very sudden," she said. "And you do have some time to think about it. But let me know what you decide. I think I'll go back to Naboo to have the baby there."
"Will you quit being a senator?" he asked.
"I'm not sure. You're not the only one with things to think about."
A baby . . . There was going to be a baby. His baby.
A father. He was going to be a father.
Anakin held the hydrospanner in his left hand, his flesh hand. He felt the cold metal and the groves that were there to help keep his grip. It was solid, real, simple. Just like the Jedi fighter that stood in front of him. As long as he could remember, he had understood mechanics. He had grown up sitting on his mother's lap while she fixed old gadgets and appliances to sell to earn a few extra credits for food.
There was something relaxing but also exciting about working on a machine and making it better. His current Jedi fighter stood with open hatches with wires sticking out. A few parts lay disassembled on the cold floor of the hangar. He had stripped off his outer layers of robes and now only wore his undershirt that was stained with oil.
Despite the mess, he understood each part, each wire, each bolt. He knew exactly where they fit and what their job was.
He was the only part in the hangar that was loose. Where did he fit? What was his job?
For most of his life, he had been a Jedi Knight. But now he was going to be a father.
But not really . . .
He couldn't be a father and Jedi. Not a real father. Padmé was right. Jedi didn't marry. They didn't have families. Their lives were dedicated to their mission, to protecting the peace of the galaxy.
Hadn't he already done that?
He had killed Sheev Palpatine, master manipulator and Sith lord. He had ended the war. He might have even fulfilled some old Jedi prophecy about him being the Chosen One.
A baby . . . a child . . .
What did he want to do? What could he do?
He wanted . . . he wanted to know his child, wanted his child to know him. But he that was as far as he could take it. He couldn't be a father, not a real one. He had to be a Jedi Knight.
Right?
He sighed and shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. But no matter what he did his thoughts went back to Padmé and the baby.
He sank to the floor.
"What am I going to do?" he muttered to himself.
"It's a family tradition!"
Anakin groaned and rolled his eyes as he let his former padawan lead him through the Jedi Temple.
"This time it's catered," Ahsoka said, glancing over her shoulder at him. "Not sure where Master Dooku got the credits from, but he was said he was not going to suffer another year of Master Jinn and Obi-Wan's cooking."
"Is Yoda coming?" Anakin asked. "Might as well complete the linage family tree."
Ahsoka shrugged. "I guess we'll see."
They stopped at a set of doors that slid open silently. The room was just large enough to hold a large circular table which was already set with various plates and bowls of steaming food. Anakin's mouth watered as he smelled spiced meat, steamed veggies, freshly baked rolls, and warm sweet cakes.
"I suppose this wouldn't be a true dinner if you didn't arrive late," Yan Dooku said standing on the other side of the table holding a glass of red wine.
Anakin shuffled off to the right and sat down beside Obi-Wan, while Ahsoka took the empty seat next to Dooku.
"Now that we're all here, we can eat," Qui-Gon announced.
"No Master Yoda?" Ahsoka asked.
"There is no point in waiting for him," Dooku said. He reached over and grabbed a plate of fried fish. "If he comes at all, he will arrive at his own time."
Soon they were all eating off plates piled high with food. The conversation was light and merry. Obi-Wan complimented Dooku on the food and drinks. Dooku smugly accepted it. Qui-Gon rambled about the living Force and strange new wildlife he had encountered on recent missions. Ahsoka excitedly shared about her recent mission. She was enjoying the independence of being a knighted Jedi.
"You've been rather quiet," Obi-Wan said.
Anakin looked at his plate. "Not much to talk about," he said.
"I find that absurd," Dooku said. "You can drone on for hours about spaceship engines and pod races."
Anakin shrugged. When he looked up it was only then that he noticed they were all staring at him.
"Something bothering you?" Qui-Gon asked.
Should he tell them? They were his family of sorts.
"Have you ever . . . thought about leaving the Order?" Anakin asked.
Ahsoka sucked in a sharp breath and her eyes went wide. Dooku raised an eyebrow and took a sip of his wine. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan shared a look with each other.
It was Dooku who spoke up first. "I have at times been tempted," he said. "I could go back to Serano and claim my title as count. I wonder what good could I do with such power."
"Why haven't you?" Ahsoka asked.
"I always seem to find a reason not to," Dooku said. Ahsoka may not have caught it, but Anakin noticed the glance Dooku gave Qui-Gon.
"I think it's very normal," Qui-Gon said. "I think all Jedi will at least once question their faith and dedication. They will wonder about life beyond the Order. I know I have."
"Me too," Obi-Wan said.
Anakin straightened up. Obi-Wan had considered leaving the Order? The perfect Jedi knight? That was a story he'd like to hear.
"But this isn't the first time you thought about such things," Obi-Wan said. "You doubted your path when you were a padawan."
"Considering your unusual late acceptance into the Order, I do not find that odd," Qui-Gon answered. "Though when was this?"
"You were still in a coma, master," Obi-Wan said.
Qui-Gon had spent several years in a coma after he had barely survived a duel with a Sith shortly after Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had found Anakin on Tatooine. It was believed the Sith had come after them due to foiling the plans of the Trade Federation's take over of Naboo.
Naboo . . . Padmé . . .
She had been queen during that time. Anakin had looked up every bit of information he could about her.
"Why do you question it now?"
Anakin blinked. He wasn't even sure who had asked the question.
"It's just . . . been on my mind . . . "
"Even if you leave, you're not getting out the family dinners Skyguy," Ahsoka said.
The ride up to Padmé's apartment seemed to take much longer this time. It had been a few weeks since Anakin had been told of her pregnancy. He hadn't seen or talked to her since, but last night he got a message from her saying he should come visit.
He paced the small lift. He desperately wanted something to do with his hands. He ached for a hydrospanner or a screwdriver. Maybe even his lightsaber. His right glove hand brushed against the hilt.
He moved his hand away as the ding chimed marking his arrival and finally the doors opened. He took long fast steps down the short hallway to the door. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long before a young woman answered. He muttered his name and purpose for being here with a thick tongue. She smiled and told him to follow her.
He passed a few other young women dressed similarly to the one guiding him. Servants? That didn't seem quite right. When they saw him they giggled.
Why were they giggling?
He was brought back to the same room he had been in last time. And like last time Padmé was there along with the white and blue astromech. The droid rolled right over to him and bumped into his legs.
"Hey! Watch it!"Anakin said taking a step back.
The droid let out a few choice words.
"Listen here, you little trashcan–"
The droid screeched and an arm popped out of a panel. The end of the arm had two prongs that buzzed with electricity.
"Artoo," Padmé said. The droid didn't move. "Artoo," she said again. Her voice was harder.
The droid tucked the arm back in, told Anakin he was lucky, and rolled away.
"Why do you have an astromech?" Anakin asked watching to make sure that the droid left.
"Artoo has many uses. Plus, he saved my life."
She had a fond smile on her face.
"Why did you call me?" Anakin asked.
"I went to the doctor's yesterday."
"Is . . . is everything alright?"
He could hear his heart beating in his ears. There was a sudden rush of heat that ran through his body.
"Yes, but . . ."
"But?"
She walked over to a small table and picked up a holodisc. "Here," she said as she held it out to him.
He walked over and carefully picked it up. "What is it?"
"Just press play."
He did so. There was no image, only sound. It was a soft and steady thump.
"I . . . I don't understand. What is it?"
She laughed. Force, she had a wonderful laugh that caused him to smile.
"It's the heartbeat."
He listened again. Yes, he realized. It was a steady little heartbeat.
"Notice anything odd?"
His hand tightened around the holodisc. He listened closely. Was there something wrong? The beating sounded good and consistent.
"Is there something wrong?" he asked. His voice was strained; his chest was tight.
But she was smiling, that smile eased him.
"There are two heartbeats," she explained.
His eyes snapped to the disc. Even though there was no image, he stared at it while the thumping continued.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
He smiled as he looked up at her and then laughed. Yes! There were two heartbeats.
"Twins?" he asked.
"Twins," she said. "The doctor says they're doing very well so far."
"That's . . . that's good to hear."
He held out the holodisc to give it back, but she shook her head.
"It's yours. I already have my own copy," she said.
His hand tightened around the disc as he pulled it back to him.
"Have you given any thoughts about what you want your role to be?" she asked.
"I have given it a lot of thought," he said softly looking out the window. He could see the Jedi Temple off in the distance. "And I've reached no conclusions about it."
"It is a matter that does require a good amount of thought," she said as she placed a hand on her stomach.
Anakin nodded as his gaze darted between her and the far-off Temple.
"What is it that is in your pouch?" Obi-Wan asked.
Anakin jumped. He hadn't realized Obi-Wan was next to him or that he was hand was on top of the pouch he kept heartbeat holodisc in.
"Nothing," he said.
Obi-Wan just gave him that look. There was a very slight tilt of his head, a raised eyebrow, and a small downturn of his mouth.
"Nothing," Anakin said. The words had come out wrong. He sounded too defensive.
"Odd you would keep putting your hand on a pouch full of 'nothing.'"
Anakin was silent and walked away with Obi-Wan following right on his heels. They were on a mission together helping to negotiate peace between the local population and the crew the Republic hired to help with industrial waste clean up left here by a battle from the war. It had not been easy at first. Tensions were high and they had been a few fights, but things seemed to finally be working out. Hopefully, they would return home soon. It had been over a month since he had seen Padmé. He constantly wondered how she was doing.
"You never did ask," Obi-Wan said catching up to Anakin.
"Ask what?"
"What was it that made me question leaving the Order."
Anakin slowed his pace as he took a long look at his friend. "I got the feeling it might be personal."
Obi-Wan chuckled. "And when has that ever stopped you before?"
Anakin didn't respond.
After a long stretch of silence, Obi-Wan said, "It was Satine."
"Satine? Wait, the duchess?"
A sad smile grew on Obi-Wan's face. "Yes, the duchess. Qui-Gon and I were assigned as her bodyguards during the Mandalorian civil year. It was mostly just the two of us constantly on the run and hiding. It went on for a full year . . ." He sighed. "What can I say? We were young and . . ."
"Fell in love?"
"From a certain point of view, we did."
"And your point of view didn't match hers?" Anakin asked.
Again, there was another long stretch of silence.
"I don't know," Obi-Wan said. His voice was soft, barely more than a whisper. "But we both had our own responsibilities, our duties to return to after the war. But I did not do so with an easy heart."
"What made your decision?"
"I always felt like . . . If Satine had asked me to stay, then I would have."
"You could still go and be with her," Anakin suggested. Obi-Wan shot him a dirty look that made Anakin smile. "If she would have you that is. Seems there is some sort of bitterness lingering there."
"My business with the duchess is my own," Obi-Wan said.
Anakin opened his pouch, pulled out the small holodisc, and held it out to Obi-Wan. He raised an eyebrow as he took it. He pressed play, and the steady little heartbeats were heard.
"What is this?" Obi-Wan asked.
Anakin felt his cheeks burning red. He had assumed Obi-Wan would know what it was.
"It's uh . . . um . . . heartbeats . . . I uh . . . I'm going to be a father . . ."
Obi-Wan looked directly at Anakin.
"Twins," Anakin said with a shrug that he hoped came off as casual.
"I had no idea you were so involved with someone."
"We're not! I mean, I'm not. Involved that is. It was more of a one-night-stand."
Obi-Wan's eyebrow grew higher and higher with each word he said.
"So you're thinking of leaving the Order to . . . marry this woman and have a family?"
"Marry! Force, no! As I said, I barely know her. But . . . I don't know . . . I just can't stop thinking about them. The babies. Is it bad that I want to be there for them? I want to be a father? But how can I do that as a Jedi? I don't know if I can do both."
"You could do both," Obi-Wan said. "But perhaps not to the degree you're wanting. No matter what, you will always be their father. You will still be able to visit them, but as a Jedi, you must put your duty first. You can't have such deep attachments. Plus missions can have you away for months if not years at a time."
Anakin felt a cold weight land in his stomach.
Obi-Wan put a hand on Anakin's shoulder and squeezed it.
"You'll find the answer," he said. "But regardless of what path you choose, I am proud of you Anakin. You are brave and kind, and you deserve happiness. I hope you discover which path you give you that."
"Did your path give you happiness?" Anakin couldn't help but ask.
There was a sad distant look in Obi-Wan's blue eyes.
"Yes," he said. "There was you." He smiled, and Anakin smiled back. "And Ahsoka. I have had plenty of wonderful moments. But I will not lie to you. I still think about what if I had made the other choice. There is regret there. I think no matter which path we take, we will always be haunted by the what-ifs. We just have to take solace in the Force and find peace with the life we have."
Anakin kept looking for anything that looked like a baby, but so far had only seen blobs and lines on the monitor screen at the doctor's office. Padmé laid on a medical table wearing a hospital gown that was open to reveal her stomach. A female human doctor stood next to her performing a sonogram using a small wand that was connected to the monitor machine.
"Ah there we are," the doctor said.
Two distinct oval-shaped holes had appeared, in which there were two bean-shaped blobs with large heads and little arms and legs.
The babies.
"They're looking quite good," the doctor said.
Anakin wondered if that was true. They just looked so odd, but then again, he knew nothing of babies. He would have to trust the doctor.
After the appointment, Padmé took him to an open upper-level street. Only the sky and towering skyscrapers were above them. Of course, such a prime location was filled with fancy restaurants and pricey shops. The people who slowly walked around wore fine clothing. Even the droids were free of dents and shone with fresh wax and oil.
He felt awkward and out of place. It was odd that he felt such a way when he was dressed like everyone else instead of in his Jedi robes. Padmé had provided with the outfit. A Jedi would draw attention; Anakin Skywalker would draw even more. And at this point, they were both keeping their connection a secret. The press would go wild if they found out.
He wore a long beige shirt with leather strips sewn on the top of the shoulders and chest. He wore a belt that was more fashion than utility over the shirt. The outer layer was a grey vest with tapered down to pointed ends. He wore his normal pants and boots though he had been provided with a new set. He needed something familiar, especially since he didn't have his lightsaber on his waist.
It was currently in Padmé's purse as he would not go without it. She had teased him and tried to convince him to leave it.
"A Jedi's lightsaber is their life," Anakin had stated.
"Well, then I guess you'll just have to put your life in my hands, or well my purse. You can't go around wearing it. It marks you far too easily as a Jedi. We're trying to avoid notice not fight a war."
He didn't want to tell her that there had been several attempts on his life after his defeat of Palpatine, and some of them had come from people within the Republic. The Jedi Council was still rooting out the Sith's poison. He didn't want anything to happen and drag Padmé into it. For now, he wouldn't be without his weapon close at hand.
He glanced at the brown leather bag hanging at Padmé's side. She was dressed casually in a pale golden yellow dress that stopped right above her ankles showing off her small brown boots. The dress had red sewn onto the top that went up to the high collar. She wore a large multi-colored fringed striped shawl that she wore draped at her elbows and pinned together at her waist. It hid her baby bump quite well.
"What would you like for lunch?" Padmé asked. This had all been her idea, for him to come to the appointment and for them to get lunch together afterward.
"It doesn't matter to me," he said.
"You must have some sort of preference. You can find almost any type of cuisine here."
"Honestly, anything that isn't war rations is good. I'm not picky and am up for anything. So whatever you think is good."
They ended up eating at an Alderaan restaurant after he had commented he had never been to the planet or tried food from there. It had been a lovely afternoon. They had talked and laughed over various topics. After the meal, they continued to walk the streets and even went into a few stores. Anakin picked out two small stuffed tookas for the twins.
When he returned back to the Temple later that evening back in his Jedi robes, he had a huge smile on his face.
Anakin finished twisting the screw, put the screwdriver down, and wiped the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand. He lifted the small heat regulator he had been working on. It had been rusted and clogged with old oil and frayed wires. He had taken it apart and cleaned it then gave it new wires and screws.
"How is it coming?"
He looked up from the workbench he was sitting at and a huge smile grew on his face.
"It's coming along quite well," he said.
He watched as his mother walked across the garage. When she got to him she handed him a tall cool glass of blue milk. As he drank, she looked over his work. He had learned about building and putting things together, especially electronics and machines, from his mother. She would collect discarded scraps from Watto's yard and use them to make repairs or create new items.
She had left Watto's yard a few years ago when she had been bought by a farmer, who had freed and married her. She seemed happy in her new life.
Shmi sat down beside him on the workbench. "You haven't told me why you're here, Ani."
"I'm here to see you," he said.
She smiled, placed a hand on his cheek, and gave it a gentle pap.
"Ani, what are you doing here?"
"Is it wrong to want to help you and Cliegg out? Those east ridge vaporators are running much smoother now, and I'll get this droid running better than new. Just give me time."
"I love you. I am so happy you came to visit. But I know my son. Something is bothering you. You're doing anything and everything you can to keep yourself busy. Am I wrong?"
He took a sharp breath. "No, you're not."
He explained the situation to her about Padmé's pregnancy and his doubts about being a Jedi.
His mother was quiet for a long moment. She had grabbed his hand early on his story, and she still held it.
"Why did you want to become a Jedi?" she finally asked.
"Because . . . I didn't want to be a slave," he answered honestly.
"It was more than that. Do you remember? You said you wanted to come back and free all the slaves."
His cheeks flushed.
"You wanted to help people," Shmi continued. "And you did. You helped the entire galaxy."
"Mom . . ." he groaned. His cheeks burned hotter.
"Why do you like being a Jedi? My guess is you like helping people. You fear if you leave the Order, you won't be able to help people. There are plenty of people that need help, some of which can never get help from a Jedi. What I'm saying, Anakin, you are not denied helping people if you aren't a Jedi. You can still do good, still help people, and perhaps find something more as well."
"Something more?"
"Yes. I found something more here with Cliegg. And I think you want something more too."
"What makes you say that?"
"You're here aren't you?"
"That doesn't mean anything! This isn't my first visit!"
His mother only chuckled softly and shook her head while standing up. She stood there quietly. The two looked at each other in a comfortable silence until Shmi bent down and placed a small kiss on his forehead.
"I think fatherhood will suit you nicely," she said softly before she left leaving him alone and thoughts spinning more than ever.
Anakin had been coming every day often staying for dinner and even spending the night as Padmé had let him borrow a guest bedroom. He spent a lot of time with her talking about their hopes and fears about their babies and parenthood. He now look forward to being done with his duties at the Temple so he could make his way over.
But his smile dropped as he entered the apartment today. Boxes and moving crates were stacked neatly against walls or in stacks. Staff and droids were packing away items. He didn't bother saying hello to them; he quickly passed them. He found Padmé in her bedroom overseeing two handmaidens packing away her extensive clothing collection.
"Hello, Anakin," Padmé said smiling. One of her hands was on her swollen stomach rubbing it absent-mindedly.
"P– Padmé," he said. "What's going on?"
"Packing," she said perfectly nonchalantly. "My replacement has finally taken over as senator. It's time to pack up and go home."
A lump had formed in his throat. He knew . . . He knew she was planning on having the babies back on Naboo. He had even helped her pick out colors and furniture for the nursery. Had listened to her talk about how it would be next to the garden. He had smiled and nodded and gone along with everything not really thinking what it meant– what it truly meant.
They were going away.
"I see that you're busy," he muttered. "I don't want to be a bother. I'll be going."
"Anakin," she called out. "Are you sure you don't want to stay for dinner? The chef droid is making–"
"No," he interrupted. "It's fine. Don't worry about me."
And before she could say another thing, he fled from the room and the apartment.
He found himself in his room at the Temple sitting hunched over on his bed. His elbows rested on his thighs as he held a small droid in his hands. It wasn't compete yet as he had just started to build it two days ago, but was making good progress on it. It would be a small security droid. White and round and soothing for a baby. It would be able to watch the babies and Padmé could check on them through a holoprojector while she was in another room. Sure similar things could be purchased, but he wanted to make it himself as a gift for her.
But now . . .
The droid fell to the floor as his hands went slack. He fell back on his bed with a heavy thump. He wasn't sure how long he had laid there staring blankly at the ceiling when he heard a knock. He ignored it. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, but it came again. Still, he didn't move. This time the door opened.
"What are you doing?" Ahsoka's voice asked.
"I think I'm moping," he answered unmoving.
"Well get up."
"No. I want to mope some more."
"Ugh!"
He heard her stomp over to his bed, and she grabbed his arm and pulled on it.
"Get up," she ordered. "It's dinner time."
"I'm not hungry," he said truthfully.
"It doesn't matter. It's family tradition!"
He lifted his head and finally looked at her. "We already had the family dinner this year," he said.
Ahsoka sighed and rolled her eyes. "It's also family tradition to celebrate!"
He pushed himself to sit up. "Celebrate? Celebrate what?"
"Master Obi-Wan taking on a new padawan."
Anakin's mouth fell open.
"What?" he asked after his mind finally wrapped around and comprehended her words. "When? Why am I just now learning of this?"
Ahsoka just gave a look.
"If you weren't so busy, maybe you would have known about it," she said as she pulled on his arm again. This time he let her pull him up. She didn't let go and continued to pull him out the door. "We're going to be so late," she mumbled as marched him down the hall. "Dooku is not going to shut up about this."
His mind whirled. Obi-Wan was taking another padawan? He thought he had sworn off taking on another one claiming Anakin was more than enough for one lifetime. What had changed his mind?
Ahsoka was right. He had been too busy focusing on Padmé and the babies . . .
While he did feel guilty about not spending more time or talking with Obi-Wan or Ahsoka or Qui-Gon more often (Dooku he could go several more months without talking to), he didn't regret spending time with Padmé.
He loved spending time with her, and now . . . she was leaving . . . He wouldn't be able to see her every day and especially would not be able to see the babies. Padmé had said he was welcome to be around the twins as much as he wanted. They were his children too. He was ecstatic at the idea, but if they weren't even on the same planet . . . he would see them so infrequently.
They stopped in front of a door that slid open when Ahsoka pressed a button on the door panel. Anakin was expecting the normal sight of his master and grand-masters sitting at a table eating a meal and talking to one another. And while his masters including Master Yoda were in the room, they were all standing and the table was filled with presents wrapped in pastel colors and cake. A banner hung across the room saying "congratulations."
Ahsoka darted into the room stand with the masters as they all started clapping. Then he realized it wasn't just his generation, there were quite a few others there as well including Mace Windu and Aayla Secura.
"What is this?" Anakin asked waving at the room.
"A baby shower!" Ahsoka shouted cheerfully.
Anakin's eyes zeroed in on Obi-Wan. His hand was raised and he pointed a finger at his master. "You weren't supposed to tell anyone!"
"I didn't tell anyone," Obi-Wan said.
He was lying, of course. Obi-Wan was the only person he had told besides his mother. Wait had his mother . . . No!
"Despite your best efforts," Dooku said, "you are not subtle."
"What–"
"Obvious, you were," Master Yoda said. "Visiting Senator Amidala too much."
"But she has been keeping it a secret!" Anakin said waving his hands around. She had taken to wearing large dresses to hide her baby bump.
Mace walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. "And you honestly thought none of us would sense a strong Force-sensitive baby growing in her? Much less twins?"
"Put the pieces together, we did," Yoda said chuckling.
Mace led him into the room. Anakin found the nearest chair and sat down in it. Everyone else continued partying. Dooku pushed a glass of champagne into his hand while Qui-Gon gave him a plate of food.
At one point Obi-Wan sat down next to him.
"There is no padawan is there?" Anakin asked.
There was that signature look of Obi-Wan raising an eyebrow. He looked over at Ahsoka, who had a huge grin on her face.
"I do not know anything about a padawan," Obi-Wan said slowly. There was a little twinkle in his eye.
Anakin fought back a moan. But it was hard to stay angry. He never expected this out of any of the Jedi. They even had given him gifts. Little baby Jedi tunics and soft plastoid lightsaber chew toys. Everyone seemed so happy.
"Going to Naboo you will be?" Yoda asked.
Anakin was standing out in the hall. He needed time away. Time to think. "What?" he asked.
"To Naboo Senator Amidala is returning to give birth. Going there you will too. Be there for the babies' arrival you will be."
Anakin's head spun. "Are you sure that's what I should be doing, Master? Shouldn't I be staying here focusing on the Order? Or my mission or . . . " He waved his hands in the air. He had been doing that a lot tonight.
"Done enough for the Jedi you have, young Skywalker. For the galaxy. When your children are born one chance you have to be there. Go you should."
"You don't think . . . this leads to attachment? I don't know if . . . " His tongue got too thick.
"Unless you go, you will not know," Yoda said.
Anakin sat in a large grassy field. In the distance were soft rolling hills where waterfalls rolled down into a series of small rivers that filled the dozens of lakes. The fields were dotted with wildflowers and grazing shaaks. He sat on a picnic blanket with half-eaten food scattered about. Padmé sat nearby seated on a plush cushion.
He had fretted if she was comfortable enough. At nine months pregnant, her stomach was large and round. He knew that carrying twins wasn't easy, and it was putting a real strain on her body. It was her idea to have lunch out here, a favorite spot of hers, but he had questioned her repeatedly about it. She had persisted, and he found he couldn't win.
"How have you been enjoying Naboo?" she asked.
"It's . . . peaceful. Serene. It's nothing like any other place I've been. Even the Jedi Temple . . . I like it here. Everything is magical." He smiled as he looked directly at her.
She smiled back. They held the look for a long moment before he looked away to a far of waterfall.
"I can see why you wanted to have birth here," he said. "It's perfect." He chuckled. "Way better than Coruscant."
It was true. He had enjoyed every moment even the hours he had spent putting together furniture for the nursery. He had insisted he could do it instead of using construction droids. He had built droids and spaceships and pod racers, how hard could cribs be?
Much harder than they should be, that was for sure.
"So you don't miss it?" she asked.
He looked back at her, but she was looking down at her hand which was laced into the grass.
"All the noise and smog and shouting? No, I don't miss it."
"I meant the Jedi . . . Temple."
He opened his mouth to answer. He did miss it, but he realized that wasn't what she was asking about.
"Some," he answered in a small voice. "I miss Ahsoka and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Even Dooku. But . . . I'm happy here. With you . . ."
She finally looked up at him. Her smile was back on her face. It only made him smile back.
Anakin stood in front of an open balcony. He wore an untucked white shirt over white pants with bare feet. His hands were clasped behind his back and his eyes were closed while he meditated. It was mid-morning with a mostly clear sky; only a few wispy clouds floated about. He felt himself connecting to the Force and the world around him. He could sense the trees and the flowers and the multitude of insects and animals.
He breathed deep and evenly.
There was peace.
A peace he never felt before.
There was a calm that had always alluded him. It was something he had always chased as a Jedi, and it seemed like he had finally found it here on Naboo.
The small little paps of tiny feet on tile caused him to open his eyes and turn around. A small little baby was toddling across the room holding a white flower tightly in his chubby little hand. He paused as he noticed Anakin had turned around, and a huge smile grew on his face.
"Dada! Dada!" the baby babbled as he walked over to his father.
Anakin couldn't help but smile as he bent down and opened his arms. He pulled his son to him and stood up.
"What do you have there?" he asked as the baby pushed the flower into Anakin's face. Anakin gently took the flower from the baby. "Is this for me?"
He kissed his son on the cheek. The baby giggled and kissed him back. It was sloppy and was barely a kiss, but Anakin didn't mind. He loved it. He loved his son.
"Luke? Luke?"
A woman wearing a flowing white dress that stopped right above her ankles. Her brown hair was half done up in small braids while the rest hung in loose curls. A few small white flowers matching the one Luke had had in his hand were tucked into a few braids.
"There you are!" the woman said with a huge smile. "Sorry, he got away."
"It's ok," Anakin said bouncing the baby on his hip.
"I just wanted to give you a moment to yourself," she said as she opened her arms. He passed the baby over.
"I had my moment, Mom," he told Shmi. "How are the rest of the preparations?"
"Smoothly. Except a certain someone doesn't want to wear her socks and shoes."
He sighed as he stroked Luke's soft downy hair. "I'll go see what I can do."
"No need. You still have to finish getting dressed."
"That will take me only a few minutes," he said.
The two walked out of the sitting and down a hall lined with large open windows and marble columns.
"How are Cliegg and Owen? Have they gotten over the shock of seeing all this water?"
"I don't think they'll ever get over that," Shmi chuckled. "But Beru is enjoying it a lot. I heard her trying to convince Owen about living here."
"Oh?"
Anakin tried not to get his hopes up. It would be amazing to have his mother be here, to have his whole family together.
"She has quite a long way to go," she said.
"Well maybe if you said something too," Anakin said. "Come at them from both sides."
Shmi gave him a look. They turned into a room that was full of people all hustling as they did make-up or hair. Cleigg and Owen Lars sat uncomfortably on a plush sofa while Ruwee Naberrie, Padmé's father, tried to talk to them. Padmé's nieces were having white flowers threaded into the braids in their hair by their mother and grandmother. Beru Whitesun was holding a baby girl. Like everyone else in the room, she was wearing a white outfit. Her eyes grew wide as she saw Anakin enter.
"Dada, Dada!" she cried as her hands reached out for him.
"Hi there, princess," he said as he took her into his arms. "I heard you weren't wearing your socks and shoes."
He placed her on a small stool. Someone handed him the tiny socks and shoes. He kissed her feet and then slipped the socks and shoes on. She giggled the entire time.
"There we go," Anakin said proudly as he put her on the floor.
Leia toddled over to her brother and sat down beside him. The two happily dug into a basket of small white flowers and started throwing them onto the floor.
"You need to go get dressed," his mother said.
He nodded and left the room. He walked down the hall and entered a new room. Obi-Wan stood there stroking his beard as he talked to Ahsoka and Qui-Gon.
"There you are!" Ahsoka said.
"Sorry," he said.
Obi-Wan handed him a white jacket while Qui-Gon brought over a pair of soft white boots. The two men wore white and light beige Jedi robes while Ahsoka wore a white outfit still very much her style.
He wasted no time tucking in his shirt and slipping on the jacket and boots. It really only took him a few minutes to finish up. Obi-Wan handed him a comb, which Anakin only ran through his hair once or twice. Obi-Wan sighed and rolled his eyes as he took the comb back.
"Let's go get everyone else," Ahsoka said as she led the way out of the room.
They entered the room where the families had been getting preparing. Everyone seemed ready, except for . . .
"Leia!" Anakin said.
Leia paused and looked up at her father. She had both of her shoes on, but in her hand she held one of Luke's socks. One of his shoes was on the floor nearby.
Anakin walked over to the twins and knelt on the ground. "Give me that," he said softly.
"No," she said gripping the sock tighter.
Anakin gently tugged on the sock, but her grip was tight. Luk,e noticing the attention Leia was getting, pulled off his other shoe, and pulled off his sock. He waved it around.
Anakin sighed. "I give up," he said. "Let's just have you two go barefooted."
He pulled Leia's shoes and socks off. She smiled and wiggled her feet.
He stood up and stretched. His mother walked over holding two small white flower crowns. She placed it on the heads of the twins, who both immediately reached up to take them off.
"No, no," she cooed as she picked Leia up. "These stay on."
Leia was not listening with both her hands gripping the wreath on her head. Padmé's mother picked up Luke and they all filed out of the room.
It wasn't long before Anakin stood on the terrace of the lake house. Sitting in chairs in front of him were Padmé's family and his family, which included both his mother and his Jedi family. It wasn't just his lineage there, but a few other Jedi were present as well including Mace Windu and Master Yoda.
Soon double doors opened up and the twins toddled out. At first unsure, as they saw the number of people, but then they saw their father at the other end of the terrace. They squealed and started right for him. Leia's little crown was lopsided on her head, but Luke's was still properly on. Anakin knelt down, with open arms, and welcomed his babies. He hugged them tightly and kissed them. He picked them up just in time to see Padmé stepping out of the doors.
Anakin's breath caught in his throat as he watched her walk down the aisle. She wore an all-white lace dress and a lace veil. Her eyes were focused on him and sparkled just as much as he knew he was. Her smile was huge as she stopped beside him.
"Mama, Mama!" the babies both called both reaching out for their mother. She bent over and kissed them both.
"You look two look so handsome," she whispered.
At once they were grabbing onto her veil and tugging on it. That's when Jobal Naberrie, Padmé's mother, and Shmi walked up and took the twins away.
It was just Anakin and Padmé standing at the altar with the priest. He took her hand as the ceremony began.
Once again there was that serenity he had found earlier this morning. It was ironic he had only found it after leaving the Jedi Order. It hadn't been an easy decision for him to come to, but one that apparently everyone else knew he was going to make.
Ahsoka had laughed. "Why else did we throw you a baby shower, and the Council let you go off to Naboo?"
He had fretted over the decision for weeks, months. But when he finally made it, when he told Padmé and asked if he could stay with her and the babies, he knew instantly seeing her smile it was the right choice.
This was the right choice, marrying Padmé, solidifying their family into something whole.
He hadn't understood what peace had meant when he had killed Sheev Palpatine and supposedly restored balance to the galaxy. Not really.
But now he did.
He tightened his hold on Padmé's hand as he leaned in to kiss his wife.